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New Car Anti-Theft Device Profiles Your Rear End

samzenpus posted more than 2 years ago | from the top-to-bottom dept.

Security 126

Hugh Pickens writes "A car-seat identifier developed at Japan's Advanced Institute of Industrial Technology by Associate Professor Shigeomi Koshimizu can recognize a person by his or her rear end with 98 percent accuracy when the person takes a seat in his car. The bucket seat's lower section is lined with 360 pressure sensors that measure pressure on a scale from 0 to 256, sending information to a laptop, which aggregates the information, generates the key data and produces a precise map of the seated person's rear profile. Researchers say traditional biometric techniques such as iris scanners and fingerprint readers cause stress to people undergoing identity checks, while the simple act of getting seated carries less psychological baggage. Koshimizu wants to see his work available commercially as an anti-theft product in two to three years if automakers agree to collaborate. He sees possibilities of this device being used beyond auto-theft identity protection to a device for security identification in office settings, where users log on to their PCs as they sit down."

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126 comments

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Detect differences between full and empty load? (4, Interesting)

InterestingFella (2537066) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493410)

Some people apply their rear pressure differently based on if their rear load is full, empty or something in between. Not only does your overall weight change, but also the formation of rear pressing against the seat will be different, especially depending on your nutrition and different days. Is it going to be able to detect such load changes without many problems? Obviously there needs to be some kind of threshold, but if your rear pressure varies a lot the device could even lock you out from using your car.

Re:Detect differences between full and empty load? (4, Informative)

dotancohen (1015143) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493460)

Some people apply their rear pressure differently based on if their rear load is full, empty or something in between. Not only does your overall weight change, but also the formation of rear pressing against the seat will be different, especially depending on your nutrition and different days. Is it going to be able to detect such load changes without many problems? Obviously there needs to be some kind of threshold, but if your rear pressure varies a lot the device could even lock you out from using your car.

There is a traditional keypad override for instances in which your rear is not recognized: keys in pocket, wallet, new jeans, need to shit, etc.

Re:Detect differences between full and empty load? (4, Funny)

sgt scrub (869860) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493766)

Hello boss. Um yeah. My ass is fat. I can't come to work today.

Re:Detect differences between full and empty load? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493992)

I can tell of a big bunch of mid-aged Desperate Housewives who are going to abhor this system much, much more than fingerprint readers or iris scanners...

Re:Detect differences between full and empty load? (1)

swalve (1980968) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494198)

I'm sure they never thought of that.

Re:Detect differences between full and empty load? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38494294)

It sounds like they didn't think of that (or at least didn't solve it yet). If the system has only 98% accuracy in a lab environment it will need quite a bit more development and correction to be "street ready". Can you imagine a classic key or current keyless entry system working only 98% of the time? I know on my 2005 Camry, it worked 100% up until the receiving system in the car failed and had to be replaced (and the classic key continued at 100%). Translate the lab 98% to real people in real vehicles with real wear and tear and you probably get 90%. Not good enough so they need to continue their design work.

8.0056 bits / sensor (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493422)

"measure pressure on a scale from 0 to 256" ... what an odd design choice.

Re:8.0056 bits / sensor (1)

CODiNE (27417) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494826)

This guy [slashdot.org] doesn't think so. Why add a single bit when you can throw away 7?

Does this car make me look fat? (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493426)

No, honey; it's your arse that makes you look fat.

Re:Does this car make me look fat? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38496968)

No, honey; it's eating cakes and confectionery that makes you look fat.

FTFY

Idk... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493430)

This sounds completely stupid for so many reasons...

Those wacky japaneese... A real life lesson on why you don't want to nuke people.

Heck the tentacle porn should have tipped us off.

Re:Idk... (2)

InterestingFella (2537066) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493440)

How is detecting your rear any more stupid than your fingerprint? It's way more convenient, and especially so with cars as you're going to be sitting down anyway.

Re:Idk... (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493562)

How is detecting your rear any more stupid than your fingerprint?

Fingerprints ridges have tens, or hundreds depending on the system, of computer verifiable data points. With an ass you have weight, shape, position and behavior, but it's only possible to get a few limited data points out of each. A good fingerprint reader can achieve 99% accuracy. I believe almost all the accuracy from this device will be based on a single data point: weight. Weight is a good addition to a security system, it's already used in some areas, but thinking it can ID a person is silliness.

Re:Idk... (2)

newcastlejon (1483695) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493804)

I believe almost all the accuracy from this device will be based on a single data point: weight. Weight is a good addition to a security system, it's already used in some areas, but thinking it can ID a person is silliness.

The bucket seat's lower section is lined with 360 pressure sensors that measure pressure on a scale from 0 to 256, sending information to a laptop, which aggregates the information, generates the key data and produces a precise map of the seated person's rear profile.

*emphasis mine*
Fingerprint recognition works by creating an image of the print. This new method is no different, though the resolution is much, much lower and the area being examined is different.

A person's weight is not evenly distributed across their cheeks. Even if it were then the shape and size of the crack differs from person to person; I'm not saying this is the be-all and end-all of arse recognition but it does illustrate the point that one might be able to differentiate between people by looking at their backsides.

Re:Idk... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38495110)

360 pressure sensors give us one solid computer verifiable data point; weight. Something like the shape or size of a soft body does not produce verifiable data points. You can categorize and estimate the data, but no matter what you do this system will never approach the 99%+ accuracy needed for identification, there is just not enough data.

Fingerprint recognition works by creating an image of the print.

This isn't true. It wouldn't work that way. Fingerprint recognition works by building a set of verifiable data points. These points can be verified over and over using scientific methods. This gives us an objective system to match any finger with it's prints. You know those scenes in movies where a cop searches a fingerprint database and images flash by?...doesn't happen. The searchable part of the fingerprint databases only includes the data points.

Re:Idk... (1)

newcastlejon (1483695) | more than 2 years ago | (#38495812)

360 pressure sensors give us one solid computer verifiable data point; weight.

No, you get 360 pressure measurements. That's more than one. You really ought to re-read what I said about uneven weight distribution. Imagine for a moment that we set a bowl full of water onto an array of pressure sensors: the bottom of the bowl exerts the most pressure. Given enough sensors it's possible to ascertain the shape of an object placed upon them.

If we used ultrasonic sensors instead of pressure ones to read the density of what's above them - like some fingerprint scanners - the end result would be the same: an image of the thing you're scanning, with a data point for every sensor/pixel.

Fingerprint recognition works by creating an image of the print.

This isn't true. It wouldn't work that way. Fingerprint recognition works by building a set of verifiable data points.

Any fingerprint reader captures an image first, this image is then converted to a series of points for matching against a database. Whether or not a matching system displays the source image of each print while it examines the hash (for want of a better word) is irrelevant. There's no reason it couldn't but obviously it does this only in the movies for exposition or artistic license.

Tell me, if a person's weight was all this system looked at would they really be using hundreds of sensors?

Re:Idk... (1)

pnewhook (788591) | more than 2 years ago | (#38495912)

With an ass you have weight, shape, position and behavior, but it's only possible to get a few limited data points out of each.

It's measuring 360 distributed pressure points.

A good fingerprint reader can achieve 99% accuracy.

Unless you cut your finger. I've had my laptop biometric sensor lock me out since I do construction and occasionally tear up my fingerprints. I have yet to cut up my ass though.

Re:Idk... (1)

DinDaddy (1168147) | more than 2 years ago | (#38495474)

Yeah, but how instead of wearing gloves, we have to be wary of every chair we sit in that might be rigged to steal our butt identity.

Better idea: What about penis? (1)

Fusselwurm (1033286) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493504)

Now as you mention tentacles... next up: Artificial vagina able to profile users, may be used in anti-theft devices shortly.
--
yours truly
Wacky Japanese

Direct biogas impingement system (1, Funny)

mousse-man (632412) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494700)

Or even better. Have a rod rammed up your colon to scan it. If it's the right colon to start the car, do so and get all the biogas to power the car from the same source.

OnStar (4, Funny)

Bob9113 (14996) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493454)

Technician: Hello, this is OnStar. How can I help you?

Owner: I locked my keys in my car, can you unlock it?

Technician: Certainly, let me just bring up your profile... Wow, sweet pooper -- do you do Zumba?

Drive 49 out of 50 days!? (2, Interesting)

Mitreya (579078) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493466)

Oh yeah, who wants to drive to and from work EVERY day. With 2% failure rate, you can expect 8 failures-to-drive a year.
I mean, seriously, 98% is a good rate, but putting it on something one uses every day is just an accident waiting to happen.
Plus you won't be able to lend your car easily.

You're off by a factor of 2 (1)

stomv (80392) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493544)

If I owned a car, I'd likely drive it to work every day. I'd also drive it home from work every day. Quality statistics aside, that's 50 car tips every 25 days, not every 50.

Re:You're off by a factor of 2 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493596)

But if you have a car pool or drive with a friend, you can mitigate this issue somewhat. Other one drives the car there, and your friend drives it back. Now you have doubled your reliability.

Re:You're off by a factor of 2 (1)

youn (1516637) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493780)

But if you have a car pool or drive with a friend, you can mitigate this issue somewhat. Other one drives the car there, and your friend drives it back. Now you have doubled your reliability.

Technically, your reliability remains the same because reliability is a percentage of total... and total number of trips will decrease accordingly

Re:Drive 49 out of 50 days!? (3, Interesting)

vlm (69642) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493788)

Assuming a random statistical distribution of failure, and a short "timeout" between tests, the overall system success rate of a 98% success on first try followed by 98% on second try means you'll only have to try a third 98% success trial something around once for each owner of the car, assuming you own a car "about 4 years" or so, and assuming I did the math in my head correctly for 2500 days. I figure every 125000 times you boot up the car, you'll need a 4th try, that's booting up the car twice a day for 171 years. So "lock out after 6 attempts" seems safe enough to only happen accidentally a couple times in the lifetime of the product run?

Biggest problem is going to be embarrassment at having to get out of the car and try it again, if people see you doing that they're going to make all kinds of interesting assumptions about what happened to your rear last night, rough time doing doggie style or things are still too stretched out or sore back there today or whatever, so I'm thinking women would be waaaaaaay too embarrassed to buy one of these systems, even if it only happens once in a while.

Re:Drive 49 out of 50 days!? (1)

viperidaenz (2515578) | more than 2 years ago | (#38496472)

Unless the cause of the failure was your new pair of pants, so all 6 times you try to sit down, it will fail. Unless you take your pants off in the walmart car park.

Re:Drive 49 out of 50 days!? (1)

petermgreen (876956) | more than 2 years ago | (#38496616)

Assuming a random statistical distribution of failure

The problem is while some failure will be random others are likely to be caused by things (maybe the driver putting on or losing weight or feeling sore and sitting differenetly because of it) that will cause a retry to fail too.

Re:Drive 49 out of 50 days!? (1)

kubernet3s (1954672) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494614)

I assumed (perhaps incorrectly) that "98% accuracy" referred to a confidence interval, i.e. if you and another person are 98% percent identical in the buttocks region, someone else might be able to start you car, since if the car reads a 98% match, it will start.

More worrying is what happens when you lose weight. If you lose 10% of your body weight over a period of a few months, you're stuck.

98% accuracy (1)

FatLittleMonkey (1341387) | more than 2 years ago | (#38496976)

2% failure per use. Average two starts per trip, average one trip per day. One failure every 25 days. About 290 failures over a 20yr period. Say the average person who buys a car with this system would otherwise have one car stolen from them every 20 years, now with a 98% chance the car thief will be detected.

That gives you 0.98 successes for every 290 failures. Or a greater than 99.5% false positive rate.

(And that assumes the system can't be quickly bypassed by by a competent thief. Which would reduce the immobil-ass-er's success rate by whatever proportion of car thieves know the work-around. Say it's 50%, that doubles the false positive rate to around 99.8%.)

New Meaning (2)

Ganty (1223066) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493470)

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'your ass is mine'.

Ganty

I like big butts (0, Offtopic)

stevegee58 (1179505) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493478)

and i can not lie.

My rear end may be subject to change... (1)

Fusselwurm (1033286) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493484)

... so might be not the best choice for identifying me.

Only, if that device learns to adjust its saved profile of me as I get fatter and fatter, it would be great. It means even if someone somehow gets all data about my butt, I only need to make a diet or eat some more and all my previous butt data will become worthless. Mwahaha.

Seriously though: lol.

Re:My rear end may be subject to change... (1)

InterestingFella (2537066) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493492)

But it may be able to cope with such slow changes. You aren't going to get fat in one day, and even less so leaner. If it can dynamically update such changes, then there's no problem.

Re:My rear end may be subject to change... (1)

KillAllNazis (1904010) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493638)

How does it know a different ass from the same ass which has changed?

Re:My rear end may be subject to change... (1)

InterestingFella (2537066) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493668)

Because your ass will change gradually over time, not instantly.

Re:My rear end may be subject to change... (1)

viperidaenz (2515578) | more than 2 years ago | (#38496480)

Unless you don't drive during the festive season and pack on a few kilos

Re:My rear end may be subject to change... (1)

vlm (69642) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493806)

But it may be able to cope with such slow changes. You aren't going to get fat in one day, and even less so leaner.

Clearly you are not one of those "carry the wallet in the rear pocket" types. Fat with cash on the right cheek (is this TMI?) on payday, Fing wallet is flat again the next day, or so it often seems (my budget strategy is cash only for frivolous junk/bar/restaurant if at all technologically possible, otherwise I wouldn't use cash other than vending machines).

Re:My rear end may be subject to change... (1)

Thing 1 (178996) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494850)

My strategy has changed over time. Used to be, I liked my ability to track my purchases, using e.g. Quicken, so I'd use trackable purchases always. These days, I dislike my ability to be tracked by others, so I tend towards cash mostly. (Somewhat aligns with the old, "If you aren't socialist (or democrat) when you're young, you don't have a heart; if you aren't capitalist (or republican) when you're old, you don't have a brain" -- although this is not meant as an insult, I am only looking inwards. Also I tend to use vending machine less these days; I find fresh fruit to be much more enjoyable, which they serve in the cafe. If only I had a lawn...)

I can see the holiday headline now: (1)

macraig (621737) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493488)

Rash of False Car Thefts Reported Late Evening of Christmas Eve

And the subheading reads: People heading home after pigging out at relatives' feasts trigger new derriere alarms in their vehicles

misleading quote (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493510)

That is "98% accuracy" with a test set of six persons. Meaning that this is more press release than solid science. Go on, try again with six thousand persons, see if you still reach 98%. Then try again over time. Good luck figuring the ex-sumo wrestler before and after the weight loss associated with stopping sumo wrestling.

and tell me that you love me. (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493526)

Can't help thinking of the Monty Python song.

no longer matching the profile (4, Insightful)

SilverJets (131916) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493530)

So what happens when your ass no longer matches the profile? Will you still be able to start your car or log into your computer?

And I am not necessarily talking about getting fatter over time. It is possible to get leg and back injuries that cause you to sit differently with different pressure applied to different areas when you sit down. What about people with hemorrhoids that need to sit on an inflatable donut?

Re:no longer matching the profile (4, Insightful)

cdrudge (68377) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493624)

What happens when you have a blister or bad cut on the same finger you use for a fingerprint scanner? Or you have a cold and need to voice authenticate?

You use a key.

Re:no longer matching the profile (1)

am 2k (217885) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493660)

What happens when you have such muscle aches that you can't turn a key?

(Yes, this has happened to me after a day of carrying moving boxes.)

Re:no longer matching the profile (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493760)

What happens when you have such muscle aches that you can't turn a key?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if you can't turn a key, you probably aren't in any condition to drive a car safely.

Re:no longer matching the profile (1)

genner (694963) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493942)

What happens when you have such muscle aches that you can't turn a key?

(Yes, this has happened to me after a day of carrying moving boxes.)

If you can bypass it, it ceases to be useful as a anti-theft device. If it turns on with just a key it can be hot wired like a normal car.

Re:no longer matching the profile (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493708)

And if you can bypass the whole system with a key, then you can likely bypass it with similar techniques currently in use to steal a vehicle. Making the whole exercise a futile added expense.

rear end profiles (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493534)

my arse [they will]

"added" benefit: (3, Interesting)

tchdab1 (164848) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493542)

you're walking until you loose those extra pounds.

Re:"added" benefit: (1)

BryanL (93656) | more than 2 years ago | (#38496532)

The loose/lose mix-up takes on a whole new meaning when used in the this context. I cringe at the thought of a loose back -end.

Turn Carjackings into Kidnappings! (1)

TheStonepedo (885845) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493566)

I would much rather hand over my keys if an armed would-be-car-thief came at my new gadget-filled vehicle than hop in and drive him to his chop shop of choice.
Also, to pass this "security" test the driver's door must already have been unlocked and opened.

Re:Turn Carjackings into Kidnappings! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493834)

How do I loan my car to a friend? I might not be near enough to it to reprogram it for them. What if I sit differently? What if my 2% error butt is a car thief? Why would anyone pay for this bullcrap?

Re:Turn Carjackings into Kidnappings! (1)

trigpoint (1230530) | more than 2 years ago | (#38496612)

How do I loan my car to a friend? I might not be near enough to it to reprogram it for them. What if I sit differently? What if my 2% error butt is a car thief? Why would anyone pay for this bullcrap?

Quite, there are times when you need someone else to drive your car. Mechanics are obvious one, but how many times has a car needed to moved for some reason by a friend. This is a dumb idea.

And 98% when I imagine all the testers are engineers wearing regulation smart trousers, now go for the real world. Does a thick heavy pair of combats work the same as a 3 piece suit. A long coat in the winter, wallet or keys in your back pocket, the list of real life variables goes on and on.

Probably redundant by now but... (3, Funny)

CODiNE (27417) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493572)

Pressure is measured on a scale from 0 to 256.

0 to 255. Yeesh.

Re:Probably redundant by now but... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38494556)

Assumptions assumptions, you don't know that they didn't add a whole extra bit just to get the one extra value in resolution.

No psychological baggage my ass. (1)

dumbunny (75910) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493580)

In 2015, Koshimizu, struggling financially, sells his accumulated pressure sensor data to a third party software animation company. The third party matches the data with leaked DMV license photos and registration information. Two months later, sit-on-my-face-while-driving.jp is one of the 100 most visited sites in the world.

Re:No psychological baggage my ass. (1)

vlm (69642) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493878)

Much more likely your bluetooth handsfree connected smartphone gets owned by a virus and you are given the option of paypal ing $10 to some .ru address OR having your facebook portrait photo changed to a synthetic generated digital image of your rear OR taking a medical tourism flight to Thailand to enhance the booty to match the newly virus uploaded "key". Personally I'd LOL big time and enjoy comments about my new portrait photo, but I know women are bipolar about seemingly randomly trying to show it off to the guys or keep it hidden from the guys, so I'm thinking freakout time for them.

8 bit? (1)

porkThreeWays (895269) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493604)

Ugh, you mean 0 to 255?

0 to 255 (0)

aglider (2435074) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493620)

I's more likely.

what a joke (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493626)

Who cares. It should happen long before ass meets seat.

cue the (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493630)

obvious comments, such as "... obviously this feature will not prove popular with women."

the question is... (2)

JoSch1337 (1168265) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493634)

...what happens in those 2 of 100 cases it detected your behind wrongly? :D

Re:the question is... (1)

burne (686114) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493688)

It activates the James Bond-styled ejector seat.

(or you use your key to start the car..)

Re:the question is... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493712)

You use the key.

Re:the question is... (1)

vlm (69642) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493734)

...what happens in those 2 of 100 cases it detected your behind wrongly? :D

I would expect my wife's cruddy top 40 station on the radio presets, the default interior temperature turned up entirely too high, power seats adjusting themselves for a 5 foot person instead of a 6 foot person (which could be kinda hazardous for my neck), air handling system blowing air into my face (people with glasses don't seem to care, but non-glasses wearers tend to tear up after awhile of that) maybe even so far as her "set" of in dash GPS waypoints instead of my own.

Seriously though, am I the only one on /. who notices that footwear strongly affects both posture and back pain? Not to mention clothes? I would bet the machine would have "difficulty" figuring out the guy wearing snow pants and giant snow boots with back pain from shoveling snow is the same guy as the gym shorts and sandals dude in the summer. Maybe in places with no seasonal climate this would work. Note that where I live we can go from 40s F in jeans and tennis shoes to 30s F and a foot of snow with heavy thick boots to below zero F and snowmobile suits for safety (in case car breaks down, etc), and back again, all in the course of a week or so, a couple times each winter. Also suit and tie and dress shoes for work to bathing suit and tee shirt in the summer on the same day.

Re:the question is... (1)

sgt scrub (869860) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493786)

people with glasses don't seem to care, but non-glasses wearers tend to tear up after awhile of that

Air blowing on the glasses keeps them from fogging up.

Re:the question is... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493768)

Then the autobelt and tazer engages, thief.

sorry i'm late, honey.. but (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493684)

i ate too much at the bar and the car wouldn't start.

LEAKED:: Mission Impossible 5 script (5, Funny)

CODiNE (27417) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493700)

The scene: Aristocratic antique styled dining room. There's a long table to seat over 20 guests with a prominent chair at the head for the prime minister.

You see various servants tidying up and leaving the room one by one while a butler inspects, he leaves last.

*Ethan Hunt carefully drops down from the skylight suspended by a cable*

*After much twisting acrobatics he replaces the seat cushion on the prime ministers chair with a pressure sensitive decoy unit* (For suspense let's put in a scene where he nearly knocks over a glass of red wine and catches the spilt drop with one hand while holding the glass with the other, a single drop of sweat will fall on a plate at this point, Ethan will wince as the drop lands but he won't have time to wipe the plate off)

*He quickly lifts up just as the butler returns to the dining room, nudging the sensor into perfect alignment right as it leaves his reach*

*Butler notices the drop of sweat and raises an eyebrow curiously, he then makes an icy stare at the servant girl who set that area as she enters the room, she looks fearful and guilty*

*Cut to MI van parked outside, a 3D printer is printing out a faux-butt for Ethan to wear while he steals the prime minister's car, it is spraying a realistic flesh tone over the perfectly carved rear* (Insert witty joke from Luther about Ethan's butt, perhaps stating that he had to guess the color and hopes it's right)

Re:LEAKED:: Mission Impossible 5 script (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38494940)

FUND IT!

Just another something... (2)

webnut77 (1326189) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493714)

Just another something to break and require a costly repair.

Years ago, I didn't go for the automatic seat belts which put the shoulder part in place but you still had to manually do the lap part. It had no benefit and was just another thing that could break.

Am I locked out of using my car if I put my wallet in the other rear pants pocket? My exercise pant don't even have read pockets.

It will need to adapt (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38493778)

to homo butt fags. After shoving several 2x4s up there as well as the forearm of well-muscled yet hairless sissy-boys, I'm betting the system will need an extra "diameter" sensor.

assometrics... (2)

gestalt_n_pepper (991155) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493794)

A growth industry?

What about valet parking? (4, Insightful)

Dcnjoe60 (682885) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493814)

What about valet parking or taking the car to the shop? Obviously, there has to be some kind of override and as such, thieves, will find a way to hack it and still steal the vehicle.

Re:What about valet parking? (1)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494484)

Perhaps it could be placed into valet mode where it won't go over 25. That's enough to get it onto a truck, but if you're worried about that, you should just get LoJack. Someone stole my '86 IROC probably using a flatbed, so don't assume they won't do it unless the car is super-valuable.

gaining weight? (2)

ion++ (134665) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493832)

I'm sorry Dave, I can not open the garage doors and let you drive out in your car since you gained 5 kilo during xmas. You need exercise, take the cycle.

Oklahoma edition? (1)

Type44Q (1233630) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493842)

This'll give added meaning to the term "Oklahoma Edition..."

scratch and sniff? (1)

vlm (69642) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493920)

1) Do you think this "seat weight distribution" seat key is more or less creepy than a "scratch and sniff" seat key? Ditto analysis for not just creepy, but success in the market, for example, facebook is creepy, yet also is a huge success?

2) How long until a virus is released that uploads the stored key data, for either this weight system, or my proposed odor sniffing system, to facebook or whatever social media platform of your choice? I'm giving it less than a year. I am undecided if fakes should count; an example of a fake would be a odor analysis system that randomly tweets "Captain, sensors $owner ate at taco bell last night" rather than actually sampling the air in the area to determine it. I suppose the weight distribution system might be sensitive enough to detect digestive rumblings or forcefully expelled gasses, so the possibility of this exists for that platform also.

Auto(mobile)IQ? (1)

random7 (2539428) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493932)

I'm not sure how to go about this.. should i really be comfortable with my car modeling an image of my wife's ass? What about that Auto(mobile)IQ thing?

Chinese firedrill (1)

vlm (69642) | more than 2 years ago | (#38493976)

I'm sure this is probably racially insensitive to discuss, but around here a "Chinese Firedrill" is where a car full of (drunk) people at a red light get out of the car, sprint around the car continually in a circle, and when the light turns green, or someone pukes, at which point everyone leaps back into the car, statistically likely to be a different driver. Then you drive away and repeat at the next stoplight. This is much more fun in the big city than the little village with only one stoplight. The reaction of the other drivers watching these antics is always funny. Well, thats what 5 digit UID /.ers did for fun in cars as kids before they invented smartphones and texting while driving and sex. Over the decades the prevalence of this has decreased with increasing enforcement of drunk driving laws and increased police militarization and paranoia (they are doing something weird, better call it into the terrorist hotline just in case, if you see something say something!). As a side issue I'm genuinely mystified why this activity is claimed as "Chinese" because I feel I should be able to come up with something far more racially insensitive to do at a stop light with a bunch of drunks, but then again I can't think of much else to do with a car full of drunks that doesn't involve expelling recently consumed bodily fluids. Maybe the name is a part of the "joke" making it even more ridiculous than it already is?

Anyway the point of this ramble is, whatever you call this fine upstanding activity, what happens if you boot the car with one rear, and while running the rear magically changes into another rear? Nothing? Onstar reports a suspected car jacking? Onstar reports a car full of drunken idiots?

The ultimate anti-theft device already exists... (1)

mark-t (151149) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494112)

To the best of my knowledge, the engine-kill anti-theft device has never been circumvented by any thief who did not have legitimate keys to the car in the first place.

Re:The ultimate anti-theft device already exists.. (1)

Registered Coward v2 (447531) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494222)

To the best of my knowledge, the engine-kill anti-theft device has never been circumvented by any thief who did not have legitimate keys to the car in the first place.

Ever heard of a tow truck?

Re:The ultimate anti-theft device already exists.. (1)

mark-t (151149) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494680)

Use of a tow-truck to steal vehicles is not that commonly employed. Mostly owing to the amount of time that it takes to properly hook up a vehicle to a tow truck, the likelihood of discovery is exponentially higher. Although the action might appear innocuous to quite a few people, there is a huge risk of being questioned or even photographed, and a thief risks having to deal with both situations. Cars on private property can only be legitimately be towed with consent of the owner of the vehicle, or else by consent of the owner of the property, and proof of such authorization might be requested by someone who sees a car being hooked up. This is problematic for thieves who might want to employ such a technique... they are taking a 15 minute gamble that nobody who works there or sees them will care what they are doing. Finally, to discourage property owners from profiting from thefts on their own property, if a host of thefts from one particular place occur in too short a time, the owner of that place is probably going to be facing something just short of an inquisition to confirm that he or she is not somehow party to the thefts. In fact, I actually know one store owner who once was questioned about an unusual number of car thefts (not towed... just ordinary thefts) on his property, and he ended up having to invest in security cameras, which I had heard actually immediately made a differences in the number of car thefts happening there.

Re:The ultimate anti-theft device already exists.. (2)

Registered Coward v2 (447531) | more than 2 years ago | (#38496158)

Use of a tow-truck to steal vehicles is not that commonly employed. Mostly owing to the amount of time that it takes to properly hook up a vehicle to a tow truck, the likelihood of discovery is exponentially higher. Although the action might appear innocuous to quite a few people, there is a huge risk of being questioned or even photographed, and a thief risks having to deal with both situations. Cars on private property can only be legitimately be towed with consent of the owner of the vehicle, or else by consent of the owner of the property, and proof of such authorization might be requested by someone who sees a car being hooked up. This is problematic for thieves who might want to employ such a technique... they are taking a 15 minute gamble that nobody who works there or sees them will care what they are doing. Finally, to discourage property owners from profiting from thefts on their own property, if a host of thefts from one particular place occur in too short a time, the owner of that place is probably going to be facing something just short of an inquisition to confirm that he or she is not somehow party to the thefts. In fact, I actually know one store owner who once was questioned about an unusual number of car thefts (not towed... just ordinary thefts) on his property, and he ended up having to invest in security cameras, which I had heard actually immediately made a differences in the number of car thefts happening there.

So you have heard of a tow truck.

Re:The ultimate anti-theft device already exists.. (1)

nonsecurity (570950) | more than 2 years ago | (#38495380)

Engine kill anti theft devices based on keys with chips on them have been in place for years. Cars equipped with them at the factory still show up in the Top Stolen Car lists. It's a nice idea, but certainly not fail-proof and devices like aftermarket alarms bypass the anti-theft systems before the thief even arrives.

Re:The ultimate anti-theft device already exists.. (1)

mark-t (151149) | more than 2 years ago | (#38496756)

How do you drive away with a car equipped with an engine-kill system unless you have stolen the keys as well?

Why just for cars? (2)

tenex (766192) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494196)

I think the wider application for this technology will be in the workplace... to track when/if employees are actually sitting at their desks.

This tech has a lot of uses... (1)

Registered Coward v2 (447531) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494206)

Score rear ends based on its measurements. Lets you know how your date scores on a 1 - 10 scale. Just don't use voice announcements.

Tells you when you need to go on a diet. great gift for the significant other in your life.

Think your significant other is cheating? - check out the butt log.

There's a little flaw in the setup (2)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494288)

Can anyone see the problem in a theft system that activates the moment you plant your butt on the seat? Hint: You have to be inside the car to trigger it.

Re:There's a little flaw in the setup (1)

jabbany (2425264) | more than 2 years ago | (#38495048)

Well, the car won't let you drive it away. So it keeps car hijackers in check but not thieves.

Re:There's a little flaw in the setup (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 2 years ago | (#38495418)

That's great if your car stereo costs less than your car. Which isn't quite the case for most people I know that can be identified by their ass.

8 wires (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38494414)

8 wires
That's all you need to run a fucking car.

Everything else which has been added over the years is from the problem, reaction, solution wash cycle

Now with no Constitution, we are entering the era of police state.
Will you stupid motherfuckers wake up, or will you use more credit to buy a car you can't afford, to take profiles of your ass?

Throw these SCUM out. http://landdestroyer.blogspot.com/

Magna Volt (1)

Vrtigo1 (1303147) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494628)

First!

Finally . . . (1)

wrencherd (865833) | more than 2 years ago | (#38494928)

. . . a practical use for that 3 Tb drive I've been hearing so much about.

Utility? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38495028)

I was under the impression that "amateur" thefts of cars are way down due to current anti-theft measures.

This doesnt do anything for the "pro" approach to stealing cars, which typically involves a flatbed.

Better off getting Lojack or similar me thinks.

ARP (1)

Delusionner (558717) | more than 2 years ago | (#38495244)

They use a protocol named ARP, short for Ass Recognition Protocol.

stress (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#38495338)

I don't think that this will be a great invention. When more and more things around us get an interface we don't see, we will be stressed alone by the fact that there may be something somewhere which controls our identity, our behaviour, our mood, our tiredness, what else.

At least I'd rather have my car stolen because it has no such system installed than knowing my identity will be checked everytime I enter the car. And if I'd have a car worth enough, then there will be someone who finds a way to steal it anyway.

Other thing: security includes the person and if there is too much of it around, the items may be save but their owner is not.

cb

I can't believe that nobody has said it (2)

imp (7585) | more than 2 years ago | (#38495580)

"Honey, does this security system make my ass look fat?"

Why would I care? (1)

DogDude (805747) | more than 2 years ago | (#38496342)

Why would I care about this, or any other theft-prevention devices for a car (like a car alarm)? I have insurance. Everybody has insurance. If somebody wants or needs to steal my car, it's really not that big of a deal. Insurance will pay me, and I'll get another.
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