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RoboBonobo: A Project To Outfit Apes With Tablets and Telepresence Bots

samzenpus posted more than 2 years ago | from the planet-of-the-metal-apes dept.

Robotics 68

MrSeb writes "Ken Schweller, a computer scientist and psychologist, and also the chairman of the Great Ape Trust in Des Moines, Iowa, has a vision: He wants to put wireless Android tablets in the hands of bonobo apes. The Great Ape Trust Sanctuary is home to seven bonobos, including the world-famous Kanzi, and two orangutans. So far the Sanctuary has focused almost exclusively on language, with the bonobos and their keepers communicating through lexigrams on a touch-screen TV. Now Schweller wants to go one step further and outfit the bonobos with wireless tablets running custom Bonobo Chat software, allowing the apes to communicate with their keepers (and other bonobos!) from anywhere in the Sanctuary, and to remotely control devices such as vending machines, doors, and the RoboBonobo. If all this wasn't weird (cool?) enough, the RoboBonobo is even outfitted with a water cannon (so the telepresent apes can play "chase games" with humans) and Schweller is trying to fund the whole thing with Kickstarter. If you're a big fan of apes (or Darwinism), be sure to donate."

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Ob (0, Offtopic)

Hognoxious (631665) | more than 2 years ago | (#39519989)

First poost OO OO OOO!

Take my fuck rump, first post alpha male. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520013)

Good job!!! You are first!! Alpha male here!!! I present my rump to you. Not just ceremonially...here's my stinky hairy jungle ass for you!!! Don't you want that shit?!?!? Don't you want my stinky hairy jungle fuck-rump!?!?! WTF?! What's the point of being first if you don't want to take my stinky hairy jungle fuck-rump?! What a waste of your fucking resources!!!

Get your priorities straight, BITCH! (fuck-rump)

Re:Take my fuck rump, first post alpha male. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520665)

Holy geebus, this web site has gone straight down hill. Worthless now.

Re:Take my fuck rump, first post alpha male. (1)

Walt Dismal (534799) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520807)

Agreed. It feels like there's been a big shift in visitor quality and attitude, over time.

Re:Take my fuck rump, first post alpha male. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39521465)

This.

Re:Take my fuck rump, first post alpha male. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39524131)

are you fucking stupid? shutup.

Re:Take my fuck rump, first post alpha male. (1)

Walt Dismal (534799) | more than 2 years ago | (#39529035)

Lolz if meant as humor, and proof of my assertion if not.

And Moses Said... (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520825)

Get your filthy paws off my Android you stinking ape!

Monkeys are bad, m'kay?

Planet of the Apes coming soon (3, Funny)

kawabago (551139) | more than 2 years ago | (#39519997)

They'll have the telepresence robot hacked into a human hunting drone in no time.

Re:Planet of the Apes coming soon (5, Funny)

durrr (1316311) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520271)

More likely is that they'll learn to write and understand english and we'll see yet another wave of tech support outsourcing.

Re:Planet of the Apes coming soon (3, Funny)

Robert Zenz (1680268) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520433)

So Tech-Support quality will suddenly skyrocket?

Re:Planet of the Apes coming soon (1)

pbscoop (2606071) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520565)

I wonder what kind of unrest that would cause in Africa as the subjugated classes rose out of the jungles armed with technology.

Re:Planet of the Apes coming soon (5, Funny)

kahless62003 (1372913) | more than 2 years ago | (#39521263)

After they learn to program they become...

*sunglasses*

...code-monkeys.

yeeaaahhh!

Re:Planet of the Apes coming soon (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39535491)

Code-monkey get up get coffee, code-monkey go to work... Code-monkey go to boring meeting...

Re:Planet of the Apes coming soon (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39522463)

Much more likely they will hack it to get the internet and spend the rest of the day looking at porn sites. Well, they are bonobos.

iPad (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520067)

Apple already tried this in USA. Even got the monosyllabic monkeys to pay for their own hardware.

Re:iPad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39524019)

Apple already tried this in USA. Even got the monosyllabic monkeys to pay for their own hardware.

So you mean even primates won't choose Android unless they're given them for free?

Why abedroid devices ? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520089)

They will just destroy their tablets when they see how cooler the iPad is. Why give them 2nd rate tech ?

Well, why not? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520117)

After all, I see negroes with iPads all the time...

Better to use GNOME 3 (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520125)

because it's clearly designed for Apes and Monkeys.

Re:Better to use GNOME 3 (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520259)

If they do use GNOME, will they be using Bonobo [wikipedia.org] ?

Rise of the... (4, Funny)

spxZA (996757) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520239)

Planet of the Bonobos. If they have wireless tabs, then one clever one will find a way to take control of a Predator. What then humans? It's going to be World War 3, between Bonobos and Robot Overlords with us stuck in the middle trying to stick flowers into their barrels. Wang Weilin will be squished.

Re:Rise of the... (1)

spxZA (996757) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520243)

...or maybe the internets has corrupted my ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy.

Re:Rise of the... (5, Informative)

TapeCutter (624760) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520441)

Planet of the Bonobos.

A female dominated polygamous society that spends most of the day eating fresh fruit and screwing? Count me in!

However there's a flaw in your vision of paradise, bonobo's are the hippies of the ape world, they have a complex society that allows them to spend their days eating fresh fruit and fucking. They are not known to kill others of their species, territorial disputes, mating rights, etc, are settled via bonobo politics and diplomacy. So of the 3 species in your vision, I think they are the species most likely to be picking daisies.

Now if a regular chimp got hold of a predator they wouldn't hesitate to shoot you in the face and rip your genitals off.

Re:Rise of the... (1)

Fned (43219) | more than 2 years ago | (#39526841)

So of the 3 species in your vision, I think they are the species most likely to be picking daisies.

It's a false front to get us to trust them with our killer robots. Don't be fooled! They're complete bastards when humans aren't watching.

Re:Rise of the... (1)

Black Parrot (19622) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520487)

Planet of the Bonobos. If they have wireless tabs, then one clever one will find a way to take control of a Predator. What then humans? It's going to be World War 3, between Bonobos and Robot Overlords with us stuck in the middle trying to stick flowers into their barrels. Wang Weilin will be squished.

I'm more worried about all the spam they'll start sending.

For their Penis Fencing Festivals and that kind of stuff.

Re:Rise of the... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39522853)

Nah, you're thinking too much into this. They are merely doing UI research for the next Ubuntu LTS.

Can the telepresence bots fling poop? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520291)

If so where can I hire one?

MojoJojo! (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520303)

Isn't this how it started?

Advances in science! (4, Funny)

RenHoek (101570) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520305)

Knowing Bonobos, this project will also have to involve some kind of teledildonics, right?

I'm all for this project.. you know.. for science!

Re:Advances in science! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39522773)

2032...teledildonics industry outraged with the news of corrupt business practices at a major hotline, supposedly outsourced to India, instead being routed to the local Zoo.

Re:Advances in science! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39528659)

Top Bonobo web searches

Hot and Hairy

Tree swinging sluts

Monkey fucking football

Hung like a Gorilla

Barely Hairy

Three Bonobo and a Chimp

National Geographic

Re:Advances in science! (1)

abuelos84 (1340505) | more than 2 years ago | (#39534621)

Hahaha "3 bonobo 1 chimp"... nice..

Oh Great! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520359)

Guess I will be selling more banana flavoured lattes in my hot spot coffee shop.

Uhm... (1)

Black Parrot (19622) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520467)

If you're a big fan of apes (or Darwinism), be sure to donate.

How do the apes feel about this?

Re:Uhm... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39525955)

They'll probably think the humans killed one of them and put its head on a tea trolley.

I see the birth of a new Super Hero... (1)

Genda (560240) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520471)

The Robo-Bonobo-Hobo!!!! with his Android sidekick and his ability to tell killer jokes with sign language!!!

APRIL FOOLS! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520547)

Bwahahaha

That's not creepy... not at all... (1)

erroneus (253617) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520611)

When I saw that "telepresence" thing, I got flashbacks to that part in "Faces of Death" where they ate the monkey brains... do no want.

It's already this way all over the world (2)

aglider (2435074) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520641)

with Apple iPads. Android is just a runner up.
Tablets to apes.

All *bleep* Caesar (1)

macraig (621737) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520663)

So now as the real life version of Planet of the Apes unfolds, Caesar will not only be smart and pissed, he'll look like Jimmy Durante and be hornier than Warren Beatty?

And so the Uplift begins. (4, Funny)

UncleRage (515550) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520715)

David Brin must be openly grinning over this.

Block (1)

bickerdyke (670000) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520749)

Bonobos? I hope they didn't forget to set the pr0n filter, or available bandwidth will never be enough....

And keep them from posting on youtube!!!!

Hfp Dick (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520757)

a fact: FreeBSD Problems with Are allowed to play Mor0nic, dilettante forwards we must User. 'Now that

Lemmings (1)

shoemakc (448730) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520843)

...I suppose this is following Apple's similar success with the iPad and lemmings?

-Chris

Re:Lemmings (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520917)

...I suppose this is following Apple's similar success with the iPad and lemmings?

-Chris

No Apple all ready tests out their devices on sheep. You hear them bleating here on slashdot every time someone mentions Android tablets or Linux on the desk top or just about any post having anything remotely to do with flash videos.

If we gave an infinite number of Bonobos... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39520951)

...an infinite number of Tablets, would we get Slashdot? ;)

Re:If we gave an infinite number of Bonobos... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39521915)

No, we'd get chatroulette.

Weird (4, Funny)

Lord Grey (463613) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520961)

If you replace 'the bonobos' with 'management' and make other, similar simple changes to the summary, you'd get a fairly accurate description of the office where I work.

"Ken Schweller, a computer scientist and psychologist, and also the chairman of the Business Trust in Des Moines, Iowa, has a vision: He wants to put wireless Android tablets in the hands of management. The Business Trust Sanctuary is home to seven managers, including the world-famous Kanzi, and two MBAs. So far the Sanctuary has focused almost exclusively on language, with management and the Board of Directors communicating through lexigrams on a touch-screen TV. Now Schweller wants to go one step further and outfit management with wireless tablets running custom Management Chat software, allowing the managers to communicate with their keepers (and other managers!) from anywhere in the Sanctuary, and to remotely control devices such as vending machines, doors, and the RoboManager. If all this wasn't weird (cool?) enough, the RoboManager is even outfitted with a water cannon (so the telepresent managers can play "chase games" with the staff) and Schweller is trying to fund the whole thing with Kickstarter. If you're a big fan of managers (or Darwinism), be sure to donate."

It's uncanny, I tell you. I wonder if those security cameras are something other than what they seem?

Another evil plot! (1)

cvtan (752695) | more than 2 years ago | (#39520985)

Is this just another evil wireless plot to dumb down communications from more species of primates? Texting doesn't even work well for humans.

Re:Another evil plot! (1)

WrecklessSandwich (1000139) | more than 2 years ago | (#39521125)

Sounds like Gnome 3 has finally found its target userbase.

Re:Another evil plot! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39521715)

Yes! An evil plot, that is evil, that the monkeys will use to do evil, for their evil purposes that are evil.

(Did that work? It's hard to capture the spirit of MojoJojo in text only)

Where's the Apestore? (1)

rapidmax (707233) | more than 2 years ago | (#39521001)

I'm sure the apes are not DAUs, this category is still occupied by humans...

Great, just what we need... (1)

Phoenix (2762) | more than 2 years ago | (#39521059)

Digital monkeys flinging digital poo at us.

Oh well. It would still be better than Trade Chat in World of Warcraft.

What could possibly go wrong? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39521199)

1) make apes intelligent - check
2) have apes communicate among each other - check
3) train apes to control armed robots - check
4) ???
5) profit!

Re:What could possibly go wrong? (1)

ChrisMaple (607946) | more than 2 years ago | (#39523349)

They'll declare war on the lasersharks.

So basically... (1)

ikkonoishi (674762) | more than 2 years ago | (#39521267)

They use the idea of giving monkeys smartphones to drum up funding for their research, and then when the smartphones don't actually help anything they take them from the monkeys to use themselves.

Wow (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39521389)

That's one incredibly racist way to describe outfitting inner city schools with technology!

Porn (1)

jduhls (1666325) | more than 2 years ago | (#39521403)

Look up bonobos. Porn on the internet is about to double.

In other news... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39521789)

In other news....

Gettysburg talks tablet computers for council

http://www.eveningsun.com/ci_20277092/gettysburg-talks-tablet-computers-council

Has it not yet been said? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39522417)

There's an Ape for that!

Siri (1)

RevWaldo (1186281) | more than 2 years ago | (#39523909)

~ (bong bong) Ook Eeek Ook AH AH!

~ (bing bing) Get.your.stinking.paws.off.me.you.damned.dirty.ape. OK?

.

Re:Siri (1)

kahless62003 (1372913) | more than 2 years ago | (#39524365)

~ (bong bong) Ook Eeek Ook AH AH!

-ting-tang-walla-walla-bing-bang-
Oops, dmca from EMI/Sony descends...

A new source of programmers? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39524857)

yes they can program but can they learn agile?

Bad news for Microsoft (1)

SoftwareArtist (1472499) | more than 2 years ago | (#39526231)

Once a new species gets started using Android, it's really hard to switch them over to Windows. This doesn't bode well for MS's survival over the next million years or so.

I'm a great ape... (1)

Thuktun (221615) | more than 2 years ago | (#39528203)

I'm technically a great ape. Can I have a tablet and telepresence bot, please?

Elected 'Darwinism' (1)

axlr8or (889713) | more than 2 years ago | (#39530695)

Ah. Yep, it'll be on the net. Wait till those crafty apes figure out ALL the places on a human body that the water cannon might fit.

Tablets were designed for chimps anyway... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39531861)

=D

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