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IBM Patent: Smart Floors Detect Heart Attacks, Intruders

Soulskill posted more than 2 years ago | from the skynet's-beginnings-are-humbler-than-i-expected dept.

IBM 80

An anonymous reader writes "An IBM patent issued in March describes multitouch floors that detect who is in the home and what they're doing – perfect for detecting intruders and falls, notes MSNBC. CEPro.com suggests the technology also could be used to replace cameras and sensor arrays typically required for gesture control, and could detect staggering teens and 'unregistered' boyfriends. The floors could have 'tremendous implications for home health technology.'"

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80 comments

Prior art surely? (5, Funny)

slacker22 (1614751) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622435)

Michael Jackson - Billie jean.

Re:Prior art surely? (1)

davester666 (731373) | more than 2 years ago | (#39627425)

Great, it's your turn to get up. Jimmy's masturbating in his bedroom again.

Re:Prior art surely? (1)

Ihmhi (1206036) | more than 2 years ago | (#39629557)

Prior art - Japanese castles and mansions would have what I believe were called "canary floors". They were deliberately designed to squeak loudly as an anti-intruder measure. They were installed in critical areas to make it difficult for assassins to sneak around the mansion or castle at night.

Re:Prior art surely? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39631271)

"Nightingale floors", they were called, but otherwise you're spot-on.

Re:Prior art surely? (1)

Ihmhi (1206036) | more than 2 years ago | (#39633635)

Damn it, I knew it was a bird. I just got the wrong one. -.- Thanks.

Unregistered boyfriends (3, Funny)

black6host (469985) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622437)

The floors could have 'tremendous implications for home health technology.'"

Yep, only let registered, pre-approved and guaranteed condom carrying boyfriends into the house. Help prevented that health hazard called pregnancy :)

Re:Unregistered boyfriends (5, Funny)

Beardo the Bearded (321478) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622483)

As the father of a girl, I would approve the electrocution of any man in my house that's not me or my son.

And really, my son is optional.

And no, I didn't forget to include my dad on the list.

Re:Unregistered boyfriends (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39622553)

Keeping the jailbait all to yourself, eh?

Re:Unregistered boyfriends (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39622567)

Slashdot commenters are really getting stupid in their old age.

Re:Unregistered boyfriends (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39623333)

Thanks for the warning. We'll just park tonight.

Re:Unregistered boyfriends (1)

davester666 (731373) | more than 2 years ago | (#39627415)

As another human that is part of the so-called 'civilized' world, I question your desire to be at home, and alone, with your daughter.

Re:Unregistered boyfriends (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39628289)

As another human that is part of the so-called 'civilized' world, I question your desire to be at home, and alone, with your daughter.

Ignoring the possible existence of a wife or defacto...

I think that statement says more about you then him. "Think of the children", clearly you are thinking of them inappropriately.

Re:Unregistered boyfriends (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39623053)

Smart girls would roll they unregistered boyfriends in on any thing that had wheels. No need to step on the floor.

Re:Unregistered boyfriends (1)

DarwinSurvivor (1752106) | more than 2 years ago | (#39627327)

And what, praytell, would those wheels be sitting on?

Re:Unregistered boyfriends (1)

Impy the Impiuos Imp (442658) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623559)

Sir, we're getting a signal that's tripping our algorithms' alarms.

What is it? Is it a stumbling drunk teen?

No, sir.

Is it a fallen person twitching from a heart attack?

No, sir.

Well, what the hell is it?

Sir, it looks to be a chair in that there are four spots, but it's twitching violently, but unlike a heart attack, it's incredibly regular, about 3 jerks a second. Oh, wait. It stopped. Now they're getting up and walking to the bathroom. Their phone just activated and they're ordering pizza.

I guess it was a false alarm. 352nd time on this campus tonight.

What do you have to hide from your floor? (3, Interesting)

jeffb (2.718) (1189693) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622469)

"But everything they said was surely tattled back to the overness, if only by the dust at their feet."

</shudder>

Re:What do you have to hide from your floor? (0)

Flere Imsaho (786612) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622829)

Damn it, a great Vinge quote and here's me with no mod points :-(

Re:What do you have to hide from your floor? (1)

TemplePilot (2035400) | more than 2 years ago | (#39626799)

LoL I feelz Ur Pain!

Tin Foil Hat Time (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39622493)

I'm first on the tin-foil hat party wagon: What's to stop them from tracking my every movement with this? What's to stop an advertiser from tracking my movement to try to sell me softer toilet paper while I poo?

Re:Tin Foil Hat Time (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39622619)

Because 40-year-old, virginal freetards who still live with their parents aren't a prime demographic for advertisers?

Re:Tin Foil Hat Time (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39622875)

surely the tinfoil manufacturers are interested in this demographic

Re:Tin Foil Hat Time (1)

swilde23 (874551) | more than 2 years ago | (#39625919)

As are Pepsi (mtn dew), Frito Lay (cheetos... wait, arent they Pepsi as well?) and Wizards of the Coast (somehow this has to be pepsi too....)

Re:Tin Foil Hat Time (1)

ExploHD (888637) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622781)

No tin-foil hats for this one, you just have to get extremely great at playing lava on the floor

Re:Tin Foil Hat Time (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39623059)

What's to stop an advertiser from tracking my movement to try to sell me softer toilet paper while I poo?

Why hasn't this been thought of yet? 'Smart Thrones' which do chemical analysis of your 'output' to suggest food items that might interest you and balance your body chemistry. In addition, it could measure toilet paper usage and suggest firmer/softer lines based on time needed and amount of blood added during that period.

It could even recognize and analyze vomit to see if it should advertise antacid, hangover remedies, or go straight ahead and call 911!

Re:Tin Foil Hat Time (1)

rev0lt (1950662) | more than 2 years ago | (#39624747)

If you read some kind of print media while you poo (a magazine, a newspaper, the toilet paper itself), you are already being targeted by advertisers. How is this different?

In IBM/Soviet Floor Industry... (1, Interesting)

dryriver (1010635) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622589)

In IBM/Soviet Floor Industry, Smart Floor Stand on YOU! But seriously, this stupid patent actually mentions "detecting your teens throwning a party while you are away, if the floor detects there are more than six people in the house". Is this really a problem that needs a technological solution? And how much does it cost to have 400 sq meters of "smart floor" installed in your house to begin with? 50K or so?

Re:In IBM/Soviet Floor Industry... (2)

NoNonAlphaCharsHere (2201864) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622667)

No, no, no. In Soviet Russia, YOU spy on floor!

Re:In IBM/Soviet Floor Industry... (1)

dryriver (1010635) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622713)

No, no, no. In Soviet Russia, floor stands/spies on YOU. I insist that it be this way! =) Really... I do... Um, okay, actually no... Soviet Flooring tells me it has to be this way... Otherwise Soviet Flooring drop away, and become trapdoor I fall through...

In Soviet Russia (1)

Roachie (2180772) | more than 2 years ago | (#39624261)

We dont have floor!

Re:In IBM/Soviet Floor Industry... (1)

spire3661 (1038968) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622769)

The point is, hardware is so cheap now, they are going ot put it in EVERYTHING. I really hate that this can be patented. Its an OBVIOUS benefit of having sensored floors. The rest is data collection and analysis, nothing truly new or novel. I really hate that all the myriad shit that we all envisioned when we were kids is now being patented because its cost viable now. Most that dwell on this site saw the great hardware deluge coming decades ago.

Re:In IBM/Soviet Floor Industry... (1)

vlm (69642) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623077)

If there is a silver lining, the people that currently can't figure out how to install subfloor hydronic heating without causing a flood, are never going to correctly install this dystopian stuff. You'll get a few folks installing it to show off how well they can spend money, on the assumption that spending money means they're rich as opposed to the more likely serial home equity refinancers or credit card max-outers, but it won't actually work.

Re:In IBM/Soviet Floor Industry... (1)

roc97007 (608802) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622809)

Wait until it's required...

Oh, great a floor...like a mother in law (1)

rullywowr (1831632) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622657)

Great, a floor that tells me I eat too much and need to lose weight. Its kind of like a mother in law but you can't typically stand on top of your mother in law 24/7.

Re:Oh, great a floor...like a mother in law (5, Funny)

ExploHD (888637) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622733)

but you can't typically stand on top of your mother in law 24/7.

Challenge accepted

In Soviet Russia (1)

dryriver (1010635) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622787)

In Soviet Russia, your mother-in-law stand on YOU!

Re:Oh, great a floor...like a mother in law (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39622977)

Dude
Seriously
So gross

Re:Oh, great a floor...like a mother in law (0)

nurb432 (527695) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623087)

No, it will tell your insurance company that you eat too much, so they can put you in a higher risk/more costly coverage group.

Oh, and that you aren't exercising as required will be more points against you.

Re:Oh, great a floor...like a mother in law (1)

MiniMike (234881) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623109)

... but you can't typically stand on top of your mother in law 24/7.

At least I can wash the floor when it smells funny...

Re:Oh, great a floor...like a mother in law (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39623173)

Stand on her? I'd fuck mine doggystyle then jizz in her ass.

Update (1)

smc170 (2609895) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622719)

Master, your feet smell.

"could detect staggering teens" (1)

roc97007 (608802) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622795)

...Or sponsor a renewed interest in free climbing.

("Buildering"? Drunk Buildering? Could be big!)

Anti-smart shoes? (1)

roc97007 (608802) | more than 2 years ago | (#39622825)

How long before we see the first advertisement for special shoes to shield us from smart floors?

Re:Anti-smart shoes? (2)

vlm (69642) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623019)

How long before we see the first advertisement for special shoes to shield us from smart floors?

Surely you've seen the classic movie "Animal House"? "unregistered boyfriends" merely need ride their motorcycle up the stairs. What could possibly go wrong?

Lately whenever young men are in the news its traditional to put in a hoodie comment so I'm surprised the article didn't put some lame trendy crap about detecting if a young man walking on the floor is wearing a hoodie or not. Its illogically pointless, therefore required.

Re:Anti-smart shoes? (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39626999)

The book Little Brother had the solution: put rocks in your shoes. Your awkward walking will likely confuse the floor.

Patent (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39622865)

Can someone who knows anything about patents please explain to me how this patent can be granted? Where is the invention? We already have floors and we already have multitouch. Have they patented some new multitouch technology that can cover huge spaces? If so, I can't find that explained in the patent text.
I find a lot of references to north and south bridges, DMI, LPC and PCI buses, etc. Complete and utter rubbish. The US patent system is laughable. Yet another reason not to give a shit about anything IP (copyright, patents, etc) related. I'll download, pirate, resell whatever I want until the system is fixed. Thank you very much.

Re:Patent (1)

dryriver (1010635) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623177)

In theory, patents are designed to protect "genuinely new and useful inventions" from being copied/manufactured instantly by just anyone. This is intended to reward the inventor for doing "the hard work of inventing". In practice, big companies will file for a patent for virtually anything, and anything at all, that they can think of. Sometimes this doesn't work, because the "device" or "method" supposedly being invented is something ludicrously obvious. But in many cases, patents are simply handed out on a "first applicant gets the patent" basis. If you are the first to file the patent, you are the party that will receive the patent. Even if it is something bloody obvious. Like a pressure-sensitive floor (I've seen this done, experimentally, over a decade ago).

Re:Patent (1)

anubi (640541) | more than 2 years ago | (#39626565)

I have had pressure-sensitive floor pads for years. You place them under the carpet. Inside them are strips of spring steel which contact each other under pressure.

They are very 60's , commonly used by shopkeepers to alert them when a customer entered. I got a few to alert me when someone was messing around my house. This was many years ago. The devices have long been replaced with other technologies.

So, would this be prior art?

( And I want to replace the whole shebang again... this time with HB100 modules [aliexpress.com] . ).

detect, hurt and attack (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39622887)

Really smart floor would detect, hurt and attack intruders.

Re:detect, hurt and attack (1)

Y2KDragon (525979) | more than 2 years ago | (#39628835)

Activate the steel plates blocking all exits, then releasing the trained attack hounds? Perhaps after, it can also deploy the cleaning robots.

But... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39622911)

So this floor is going to detect a person of unexpected weight in my house and set off an alarm. Sounds like I'd better not carry any bags, then.

Maybe if I come home on crutches, it'll think the cat's put on weight.

WTF is wrong with the patent office? (2, Insightful)

Assmasher (456699) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623005)

There have been floor based pressure sensor for more than a decade that do these things and they're not from IBM. The earliest uses I am aware of were for security and access control purposes (to detect when someone walked in behind someone else that had an access card.

Re:WTF is wrong with the patent office? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39623329)

Try reading the patent before you make uneducated comments.

Re:WTF is wrong with the patent office? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39626917)

Yes, I've read it. All invalidated by prior art. Behavioral analysis on footsteps used a kernel based classification system that was trained to identify walking patterns. It also detected 'object left behind' behaviors - in other words, shape recognition was a part of the system.

Re:WTF is wrong with the patent office? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39632487)

Yeah, this tech was tested in Scandinavian care homes for the elderly like decades ago.
USPTO= U Shall Pay To Organised crime.
 

Hell yes (3, Funny)

TheSpoom (715771) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623033)

This should lead to some very interesting Batman-like robberies.

Re:Hell yes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39623601)

This should lead to some very interesting Batman-like robberies.

Not really worried about this.

Aside from computer crime, criminals have been getting stupider by the day. The chances of anybody hanging off the ceiling to steal your flatscreen is pretty slim.

Tremendous implications for health.. (0)

nurb432 (527695) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623067)

More like our privacy..

Re:Tremendous implications for health.. (1)

dryriver (1010635) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623403)

If you are someone who has a vested interest in making people's lives as "transparent" as possible, putting as many "human-detecting" devices in people's homes as possible is precisely what you'd do. If this "smart floor" is cheap enough, you'll probably find it included, at some point, in many newly built houses. The only way you could truly "opt out" of that smart flooring would be to either have the entire flooring ripped out and replaced with passive flooring, or to cut off the electricity supply of the smart flooring (What if they can transmit electricity to it "wirelessly" however? Tesla thought/proved this was possible, no?)

dining room table (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39623355)

Probably doesn't need these sensors under it detecting unusual activity

id like a floor (2)

nimbius (983462) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623565)

intelligent enough to txt me at work, if only to say, "your cat has oncemore lost traction on the waxed hallway floor, and smashed head on into the book case as usual with predictably hillarious results."

Re:id like a floor (1)

popoutman (189497) | more than 2 years ago | (#39624191)

Only if it triggers the video camera and informs you it is ready for review and upload..

Re:id like a floor (1)

Y2KDragon (525979) | more than 2 years ago | (#39628851)

THIS! ^^^

Re:id like a floor (1)

TheSpoom (715771) | more than 2 years ago | (#39645429)

I'm pretty sure automated funny cat video production is a sign of the apocalypse.

Stinky Farts? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39623867)

And who produced them?

Yet another entry in the "Do not want!" column (0)

kheldan (1460303) | more than 2 years ago | (#39623929)

Who are they kidding? This is just another technology that would be used to monitor and spy on people in their homes.

Our Rich Language! (2)

Roachie (2180772) | more than 2 years ago | (#39624321)

'tremendous implications for home health technology.'"

Huh, 'home health' must mean no-knock search/arrest warrant.

Will monitor who's at work and who's not (2)

gelfling (6534) | more than 2 years ago | (#39624489)

This IS IBM after all, building a smarter world, smarter than the slaves who keep it running at any rate.

*Thud* (1)

billybob_jcv (967047) | more than 2 years ago | (#39624865)

"Excuse me sir or madam, have you fallen and can't get up?"

Prior art (1)

PPH (736903) | more than 2 years ago | (#39625217)

By Edgar Allan Poe [eapoe.org] .

Expensive (1)

Hentes (2461350) | more than 2 years ago | (#39625245)

While there could be interesting applications of this, covering your floor with touch sensors is far too expensive to be practical.

What happens (1)

swilde23 (874551) | more than 2 years ago | (#39625957)

when you spill your drink all over it? In my experience, fancy-dancy electronics and liquids don't mi RCODE: 1001-02 Client disconnected from the connection.

Identify by weight? (1)

jklovanc (1603149) | more than 2 years ago | (#39626073)

Here are a few heavy items I sometimes carry and or wear;
  20 pound biker jacket
  40 pound chainmaille shirt
  20 pound chainmaille kilt
  backpack
  boxes full of chainmaille
  heavy suicases.

By wearing/carrying the above items in different combination my weight can vary by a hundred pounds.

Dog (1)

mbstone (457308) | more than 2 years ago | (#39626097)

How is this better than a dog? My dog 1) is 100% effective at detecting intruders; and 2) if I were to fall, he would come and lick me in the face.

Re:Dog (1)

mcgrew (92797) | more than 2 years ago | (#39635647)

How is this better than a dog?

It won't chew up your slippers and you don't have to take it for a walk. You don't have to take it outside to piss when it's raining. And it doesn't eat much. And it doesn't keep your neighbors up all night with its goddamned barking.

but but but (1)

slashmydots (2189826) | more than 2 years ago | (#39627593)

But...how would it detect Dance Dance Revolution? My guess would be as an intruder having a heart attack.

Similar systems already exist (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39628083)

For example Elsi ElderlyCare (http://www.elsitechnologies.com/en.php?k=16419) is a product tested in Finnish nursing homes, that detects falling patients.

And when it is given the ability to speak? (1)

RivenAleem (1590553) | more than 2 years ago | (#39628655)

"You know RivenAleem, you could afford to lose a few pounds"

Not the real reason (1)

ThatsNotPudding (1045640) | more than 2 years ago | (#39628987)

The real lucrative market is of course home-confinement monitoring - a refinement of the ankle bracelet.

IBM still does cool things, but just like certain Holerith cards, they don't seem too troubled about how the tech is used after the sale.

Gives A Whole New Meaning To The Term (1)

sfhock (1308629) | more than 2 years ago | (#39631827)

being Floored...

If.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39634053)

If I ever bought a home with this installed the cables would all, miraculously, be gnawed through by rodents. Same as how if I ever bought a car with OnSTAR, the GPS/Mobile cables would be mysteriously severed.

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