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Finally, a Shark With a Laser Attached To Its Head

samzenpus posted more than 2 years ago | from the it's-about-time dept.

Shark 139

Freshly Exhumed writes in with a Wired story about a nerd/super-villian dream come true. "Marine biologist-cum-TV personality Luke Tipple attached a 50-milliwatt green laser to a lemon shark off the coast of the Bahamas in late April. The escapade was sponsored by Wicked Lasers, a consumer-focused laser manufacturer based in Hong Kong that produces some of the most brilliant — and potentially dangerous — handheld lasers in the world. 'This was definitely a world first,' Tipple told Wired. 'Initially, I told them no. I thought it was a frivolous stunt. But then I considered that it would give us an opportunity to test our clips and attachments, and whatever is attached to that clip, I really don't care. It was a low-powered laser that couldn't be dangerous to anyone, and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal.'"

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139 comments

Yes! (5, Funny)

snowsmann (313238) | more than 2 years ago | (#39871751)

No oblig anything... a freaking shark with a freaking laser on it's head...

Re:Yes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39871995)

No, "its head". Also http://xkcd.com/585/ [xkcd.com]

Re:Yes! (1, Offtopic)

snowsmann (313238) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872103)

Thanks AC Grammar Nazi!

Re:Yes! (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872289)

You're welcome. :)

Re:Yes! (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872431)

This is 3rd grade stuff, man.

Grammar nazis get their panties in a bind if you use the present perfect verb tense when the present perfect progressive would have been more appropriate. Knowing the difference between 'it's' and 'its' is more the equivalent of saying '2+2=5' and then calling the person who corrected you a 'math nazi'.

is more the equivalent (4, Insightful)

ZombieBraintrust (1685608) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872533)

"is more the equivalent " not sure what is wrong here but something sounds off

Re:Yes! (1)

Gilmoure (18428) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872541)

"Romanes eunt domus"?
People called Romanes, they go, the house?

Re:Yes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872627)

Its is an exception to a rule, 2+2 has no exceptions. It is simply, the rule.

Re:Yes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872655)

Its is an exception to a rule, 2+2 has no exceptions. It is simply, the rule.

Clearly you have never used an original Pentium(TM).

Re:Yes! (1)

TheReaperD (937405) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872835)

Not in theoretical physics. Just about everything we hold as fact goes out the window.

Re:Yes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872849)

"Its" is not an exception. Think of it like "his car" not like "snowsmann's car". There's no apostrophe in "his".

Re:Yes! (1)

snowsmann (313238) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872971)

That is because "hi" is not a word (in this context)... It is certainly an exception to the rule "put a damn apostrophe on a word when you want to make it all possessive like". If it were not an exception then "his car", "snowsmanns car", and "its car" would all be correct. But "his" is another word entirely, "its" is a form of the word "it".

Re:Yes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39873271)

I think he was pointing out that you wouldn't use an apostrophe with pronouns to indicate the possessive. Not that "hi" + an "s" is the possessive minus the apostrophe.

I just always thought of it as, the contraction "it's" makes sense, and the possessive "its" just has to make way. ;)

Re:Yes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872867)

Rounding!
2.5->2
2.5+2.5=5
((int)2.5)+((int)2.5)=5

Re:Yes! (1)

mhajicek (1582795) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873299)

Actually, (int(2.5))+(int(2.5))=4.

Re:Yes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872895)

But 2+2 *does* equal 5 under the right metric. Moron.

Re:Yes! (1, Flamebait)

supersloshy (1273442) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872437)

by Anonymous Coward

You're still here! Oh my goodness, I was so worried! I thought you had gone for good! :'D

Re:Yes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39873141)

You're not the Grammar Nazi. [facebook.com]

Re:Yes! (1)

Quiet_Desperation (858215) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872543)

I'm so going to deviantart to commission a plushie version with working laser.

Re:Yes! (2, Insightful)

tinkerton (199273) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872663)

Sharks are cool and they know it.

Re:Yes! (1)

Capt.DrumkenBum (1173011) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872865)

Dr. Evil: "You'll notice that the sharks have laser beams attached to their heads, I figure every creature deserves a hot meal"

Re:Yes! (1)

antdude (79039) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873727)

Why do you have an apostrophe for "it is"? :P

So...Bright.. (3, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39871797)

50 mW is enough laser power to blind you quite quickly...

Re:So...Bright.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872115)

Mod this up.

Re:So...Bright.. (1)

mhajicek (1582795) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872307)

I got my goggles on, it's so bright.

Re:So...Bright.. (1)

greg1104 (461138) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872561)

Won't save you, the goggles do nothing.

Re:So...Bright.. (1)

mhajicek (1582795) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873073)

They'd help with accidental reflections. Not the full beam in the face though of course.

Re:So...Bright.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39873085)

The goggles, they do nothing.

*whoosh*

Re:So...Bright.. (1)

mhajicek (1582795) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873281)

Curses! Memed again!

Re:So...Bright.. (2)

Khyber (864651) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873611)

You can get laser goggles that will protect you from most of the exposure of higher-powered lasers. It is simply a combination of a highly-reflective surface plus a bandgap filter. You'd get a 530-580nm filter to work with green lasers and be safe.

Re:So...Bright.. (1)

mhajicek (1582795) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873097)

BTW, was just quoting the Suburbs:

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright (so bright)

I see in color

Not black and white

I see in color

Not black and white

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright (so bright)

I took these little pills

And I'm starting to come on now

I took these little pills

And I'm starting to get on now

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright (so bright)

I feel the water

Swirling around my feet

I feel like I could almost

Astroprojectedly leave

Re:So...Bright.. (1)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873213)

The laser's so bright, I gotta wear shades.

Re:So...Bright.. (1)

dnahelicase (1594971) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872907)

50 mW is enough laser power to blind you quite quickly...

Yeah - and the shark holding it generally doesn't mind if the animals he's swimming toward suddenly go blind.

mr bond I expect you to be chum (3, Funny)

Joe_Dragon (2206452) | more than 2 years ago | (#39871811)

mr bond I expect you to be chum

Sceptic (5, Funny)

Etz Haim (856183) | more than 2 years ago | (#39871821)

Something tells me this shark thing is a lemon...

Re:Sceptic (1)

Farmer Tim (530755) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872359)

A red herring, more likely.

Oh god why?! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39871833)

You ruined the joke for not-millions of Slashdot users!

If I had a shark with lasers on its head I'd set them on you right about now...

Stupid (5, Funny)

Dan East (318230) | more than 2 years ago | (#39871855)

That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. There's no way a shark could aim a laser mounted like that. It needs it on its head so the shark can properly sight down the beam and destroy the commanded target.

Re:Stupid (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872013)

You're forgetting...

sponsored by Wicked Lasers, a consumer-focused laser manufacturer

Re:Stupid (4, Funny)

Farmer Tim (530755) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872243)

Focusing on consumers is also a dumb idea for a laser company. You get more repeat customers when they're not on fire.

Re:Stupid (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872883)

Ninjas can't catch you if you're on fire. [drmcninja.com]

The next frontier (5, Funny)

GameboyRMH (1153867) | more than 2 years ago | (#39871859)

To place one on an ill-tempered mutant sea bass.

Re:The next frontier (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872451)

No, next are the hounds that shoot bees at you when they bark!

Re:The next frontier (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872483)

Reminds me of the giant grouper in the aquarium at Mote Marine Laboratory. If the shark was in his spot he just nudged the shark out of the way. 800 lb jewfish vs eight foot shark the jewfish wins every time.

Re:The next frontier (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39873613)

Will someone please think of the minions!

You FAIL 1t (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39871865)

so on, FreeBSD went Of a solid dose Th3 same operation As the premiEre irc.secsup.org or

World Domination (5, Funny)

rwise2112 (648849) | more than 2 years ago | (#39871877)

I like this quote: "...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal."

.... Like world domination

Re:World Domination (1)

Twinbee (767046) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872001)

To me yes, their message was meant to be read "between the lines". I don't think there was any need for you to point that out.

Re:World Domination (2)

amicusNYCL (1538833) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872265)

I like this quote:

But even serious hardcore shark experts like Van Sommeran can relish in the bold absurdity of a laser-equipped shark: “Everything tilts toward this being a disadvantage for the shark. Its laser might blind a pilot and piss off the FAA. Or North Korea might counter-attack it,” he said.

Re:World Domination (2)

The Grim Reefer (1162755) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872699)

I like this quote: "...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal." .... Like world domination

I was wondering the same thing, as well as who would have the need for a" useful application" like this. Besides some bald guy with a white Persian cat.

Marine biologist-cum-TV personality (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39871887)

cum

Jeez Luieez (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 2 years ago | (#39871891)

It's MAY 1st, not April 1st. (May 2nd actually)

Our undoing... (2)

moondo (177508) | more than 2 years ago | (#39871913)

And so it begins...

Slashdotted... (1)

muyla (1429487) | more than 2 years ago | (#39871945)

... or maybe the shark just fired on a couple underwater fibers

Fin (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39871963)

The laser was attached to the dorsal fin, not the head. Seriously, how can you get this wrong?

"Not dangerous to anyone"? (1)

Man On Pink Corner (1089867) | more than 2 years ago | (#39871975)

A 50-milliwatt green laser would be a class-IIIb device, right?

Re:"Not dangerous to anyone"? (1)

mpoulton (689851) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872121)

A 50-milliwatt green laser would be a class-IIIb device, right?

Yeah, and it's well into the IIIb territory (which covers such a broad power range it's hardly a helpful classification). 50mW is sufficient to cause instant permanent retinal burns, or permanent blindness due to retinal bleeding. Even an extremely brief exposure to one eye could cause permanent damage, and will certainly cause temporary blindness and disorientation. I have never gotten a beam quite that powerful in my eye, but I have gotten a brief (few millisecond) flash from a 25mW DPSS laser and it was extremely unpleasant and took hours to recover. I love lasers and "play" with some very powerful ones. In fact, I may have indirectly supplied Wicked Lasers with thousands of multi-watt blue laser diodes a couple years ago. But I would NOT want to be diving in that crystal-clear water with a bitey shark indiscriminately waving a 50mW beam all over the place!

Re:"Not dangerous to anyone"? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872179)

I have never gotten a beam quite that powerful in my eye, but I have gotten a brief (few millisecond) flash from a 25mW DPSS laser

Do Not Look Into Laser With Remaining Eye.

Re:"Not dangerous to anyone"? (5, Funny)

MarkGriz (520778) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872127)

Add a warning:

Caution: Use remaining eye to avoid being eaten by shark.

Re:"Not dangerous to anyone"? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872653)

It's difficult to punch a shark on the nose when you lack depth perception.

Just 5mw is dangerous (4, Informative)

Maximum Prophet (716608) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872063)

http://www.innovations-report.com/html/reports/medicine_health/report-44173.html [innovations-report.com]

Dennis Robertson, M.D., Mayo Clinic ophthalmologist, conducted investigations with a green laser pointer directed to the retina of a patient’s eye; the eye was scheduled for removal because of a malignancy. The green laser damaged the pigment layer of the retina ...

This was a "street legal" 5mw laser pointer. A misplaced 50mw beam will cause damage to your eyes, probably in the form of microspots, because laser light is will focused by your eye's lens. Unfortunately the brain will fill in microspots in the retina until there are too many, or you get too old, then you have vision problems.

The moral: Beware friggin sharks carrying friggin lasers.

Re:Just 5mw is dangerous (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872153)

From your link:

Mayo Clinic ophthalmologists have found commercially available Class 3A green laser pointers can cause visible harm to the eye’s retina with exposures as short as 60 seconds

If a shark is staring directly at you for 60 seconds, chances are that some minor eye damage is not really your primary concern.

Re:Just 5mw is dangerous (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39873621)

On the other hand, if your work is to keep sharks steady for more than 60 seconds, you don't want to be blind either.

Re:Just 5mw is dangerous (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872205)

Talk about missing the important part of your headline:

"with exposures as short as 60 seconds"

Are we all staring at the shark's laser for fun now? Who the hell is that stupid?

Re:Just 5mw is dangerous (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872267)

Yeah, 5mW is dangerous -- when applied to one spot (the fovea) for 60 seconds, it caused tissue damage with no measurable decrease in visual function. Similar damage (and again, no measurable effect to vision) was caused by a 15-minute exposure 5 degrees off the fovea, but no damage was observed from a 5-minute exposure 5 degrees off.

There's this thing called the blink reflex, and it means if you don't stare directly at the laser-wielding shark (admittedly, not staring might be hard) for something like 6 seconds of exposure (since it'll be flashing across your eye intermittently as the shark and you move, this will take rather longer than 6 seconds) you'll definitely not suffer any vision damage, and if you don't look directly at it, you've get something like 30 seconds of exposure with no damage at all.

As you say, this damage eventually adds up to vision problems, but it's not something I'd worry about.

Re:Just 5mw is dangerous (1)

slack_justyb (862874) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872577)

I can't help but to ask. 5mw may harm you, but that's with the medium being air. Wouldn't that level change when the medium is water? In other words, wouldn't more of the laser light become diffused over a shorter distance as compared to the same laser but in air?

Re:Just 5mw is dangerous (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39873279)

On the other hand, the shark is in water and not in air. The water will attenuate and diffuse the beam. NOAA research shows that green lasers will penetrate more deeply through water columns (http://oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/explorations/04deepscope/background/deeplight/media/diagram3.html). There are various conditions that will influence attenuation, but it is usually at least an order of magnitude lower after 30m.

Re:Just 5mw is dangerous (1)

Osgeld (1900440) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873931)

"This was a "street legal" 5mw laser pointer. A misplaced 50mw beam will cause damage to your eyes"

so it takes 10x as long to hurt yourself with a 5mw?

"there's actually useful applications" (1)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872089)

world's coolest sushi maker?

Been done before (1)

belthize (990217) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872149)

    Not new, our early extraterrestrial forebears bred Stethacanthus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Stethacanthus_BW.jpg [wikipedia.org]
to support both a forward looking radar mount at the front and a laser turret on their back.

Did this joke jump over it? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872167)

Did this joke jump over it?

One simple request (1)

WarJolt (990309) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872199)

Dr. Evil would be so happy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh7bYNAHXxw [youtube.com]

You mean I have frikin' sharks with frikin' laser beams attached to their heads?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pozlp_wnkRk [youtube.com]

Re:One simple request (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872831)

I wonder what Alan Parsons thinks about all this?

Re:One simple request (1)

mrbester (200927) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873065)

I'm sure he is busy working on a new project

Linus Torvalds predicts the future (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872257)

I wonder if it violates GPL V3 [theregister.co.uk]

Fin / Head? (1)

waterford0069 (580760) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872273)

Fin / Head? Same difference, right.

fa6o8z (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872303)

An arduous con5ider tnhat right dying. Everyone future at all

Bear On Motorcycle (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872335)

Was it being carried by a bear on a motorcycle? Cause that's the most dangerous animal in the world.

meh (1)

arbitrarymodulus (1460733) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872339)

Meh, a shark riding an elephant is still better.

This is neat. (1)

multicoregeneral (2618207) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872405)

I'll have to remember to stock up on these when I build my secret fortress on Burma.

Scientfic reasons? (1)

wbr1 (2538558) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872499)

...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal.

Publicity and fundraising perhaps. Anyone know real applications? I would RTFA, but I cannot get a response from the subscribe.wired.com server, I have a hard time believing that is slashdotted though.

Faith in humanity restored! (1)

Quiet_Desperation (858215) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872525)

This is the bestest thing in the world all day today.

Mounting (1)

WrecklessSandwich (1000139) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872527)

That laser is mounted on the dorsal fin. What part of "sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads" do these people not understand?

About fricking time! (1)

BetaDays (2355424) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872537)

About fricking time!

Meh (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872595)

Meh, only newsworthy if he attaches a frickin 3kW laser to a great white sharks frickin head.

Because everyone deserves a warm meal. (1)

ClosedEyesSeeing (1278938) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872611)

Because everyone deserves a warm meal.

Sbemail (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39872659)

When I saw the headline, I assumed there was a new Strongbad Email. Thanks for letting me down Slashdot.

Now the meme can finally die. (1)

Arancaytar (966377) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872741)

Unless you want a Beowulf cluster of laser sharks.

Re:Now the meme can finally die. (1)

Capt.DrumkenBum (1173011) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872923)

Of course I want a Beowulf cluster of sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. Who wouldn't want that?

Re:Now the meme can finally die. (1)

avandesande (143899) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872935)

... ridden by Natalie Portman in a pool of hot grits!

Re:Now the meme can finally die. (1)

c0lo (1497653) | more than 2 years ago | (#39872963)

Unless you want a Beowulf cluster of laser sharks.

What about "the year of $name on the desktop"? Will $name='laser sharks' come earlier than $name='Linux'?

(ducks)

Bright spot in all of this..... (1)

rts008 (812749) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873113)

Now there may be dire consequences to shark-jumping TV shows!

Meh, who am I kidding.....

I read it like this (1)

fragfoo (2018548) | more than 2 years ago | (#39873479)

Tipple told Wired. 'Initially, I told them no. I thought it was a frivolous stunt. But then they offered more money...'

linux? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39873687)

Do the sharks run Linux though?

Best quote from the article! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#39873725)

“Everything tilts toward this being a disadvantage for the shark. Its laser might blind a pilot and piss off the FAA. Or North Korea might counter-attack it,” he said.

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