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SSID As the New Community Bulletin Board and Yard Sign

timothy posted more than 2 years ago | from the you-are-in-bullet-range dept.

Communications 165

Hugh Pickens writes "Megan Garber writes that wireless routers have become the lawn signs of the digital age, particularly in large apartment buildings, where almost every unit has a unique Wi-Fi network that will be detected in turn by all the other unique Wi-Fi networks. SSIDs can be a cheeky, geeky way to broadcast messages to your immediate neighbors. Most of us keep it simple with '275_Elm_Street,' 'Apt23,' or 'my_network,' but some get more creative with names like: 'Apt112IHaveYourMail,' 'PrettyFlyForAWiFi,' or 'WeCanHearYouHavingSex' — a great way to freak out your annoying neighbors without hiding in their bushes or peeping in their windows late at night. Now the team at OpenSignalMaps, which maintains a database of geolocated Wi-Fi access points, analyzed the data they've collected about wireless routers to see whether Wi-Fi names are 'being used to fly political colors' and have found, globally, 1,140 results for 'Obama' and an additional six for 'Romney' — an indication not necessarily of Romney's popularity relative to the president's, but of the attention that four years as president can confer. 'There's something uniquely contemporary and incredibly old-school about that kind of broadcasting: It's messaging meant only for your immediate neighbors,' writes Garber. 'The politicized network names are like lawn signs for people who don't have lawns.'"

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Bootynude... (-1, Troll)

TheJoneses (2653409) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193575)

Nearly four months ago, I noticed that my internet connection was very sluggish. Eventually getting fed up with it, I began to seek out software that would speed up the gigabits in my router. After an hour of searching, I found what at first appeared to be a very promising piece of software. Not only did it claim it would speed up my internet connection, but that it would overclock my power supply, speed up my gigabits, and remove any viruses from my computer! "This is a fantastic opportunity that I simply can't pass up," I thought. I immediately downloaded the software and began the installation, all the while laughing like a small child. I was highly anticipating a future where the speed of my internet connection would leave everyone else's in the dust.

I was horribly, horribly naive. Immediately upon the completion of the software's installation, various messages popped up on my screen about how I needed to buy software to remove a virus that I wasn't aware I had from a software company I'd never once heard of. The strange software also blocked me from doing anything except buying the software it was advertising. Being that I was a computer whiz (I had taken a computer essentials class in high school that taught me how to use Microsoft Office, and was quite adept at accessing my Facebook account), I was immediately able to conclude that the software I'd downloaded was, in fact, a virus, and that it was slowing down my gigabits at an exponential rate. "I can't let this insanity proceed any further," I thought.

As I was often called a computer genius, I was confident at the time that I could get rid of the virus with my own two hands. I tried numerous things: restarting the computer, pressing random keys on the keyboard, throwing the mouse across the room, and even flipping an orange switch on the back of the tower and turning the computer back on. My efforts were all in vain; the virus persisted, and my gigabits were running slower than ever! "This cannot be! What is this!? I've never once seen such a vicious virus in my entire life!" I was dumbfounded that I, a computer genius, was unable to remove the virus using the methods I described. Upon coming to terms with my failure, I decided to take my computer to a PC repair shop for repair.

I drove to a nearby computer repair shop and entered the building with my computer in hand. The inside of the building was quite large, neat, and organized, and the employees all seemed very kind and knowledgeable. They laughed upon hearing my embarrassing story, and told me that they saw this kind of thing on a daily basis. They then accepted the job, and told me that in the worst case, it'd be fixed in three days from now. I left with a smile, and felt confident in my decision to leave the computer repairs to the experts.

A week later, they still hadn't called back. Visibly angry, I tried calling them countless times, but not a single time did they answer the phone. Their negligence and irresponsibility infuriated me, and sent me into a state of insanity that caused me to punch a gigantic hole in the wall. Being that I would require my computer for work soon, I decided to head over to the computer repair shop to find out exactly what the problem was.

Upon entering the building, I was shocked by the state of its interior; it looked as if a tornado had tore through the entire building! Countless broken computers were scattered all about the floor, desks were flipped over, the walls had holes in them, there was a puddle of blood on the floor, and worst of all, I saw that my computer was sitting in the middle of the room laying on its side! Absolutely unforgivable! I soon noticed one of the employees sitting behind one of the tipped over desks (the one that had previously had the cash register on top of it); he was shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. Despite being furious about my computer being tipped over, seeing him in that state still managed to make me less unforgiving. I decided to ask him what happened.

A few moments passed where the entire room was silent and nothing was said. Eventually, he pointed at my computer and said to me, "The virus... it cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped!" Realizing that he was trying to tell me that they were unable to repair my computer (the task I'd given them), I flew into a blind fury and beat him senseless. Not caring about what would happen to him any longer, I collected my computer, ignored the bodies of the two other employees that had committed suicide, and left the building. After a few moments of pondering about what to do and clearing my head, I theorized that their failure to repair my computer probably simply meant that they were unqualified to do the job, and decided to take my computer to another computer repair shop.

I repeated that same process about four times before finally giving up. Each time I took it to a PC repair shop, the result was the same: all the employees either went completely insane, or they committed suicide. Not a single person was able to even do so much as damage the virus. I was able to talk some sense into one of the employees that had gone mad and got them to tell me how they were attempting to fix the problem. They told me that they tried everything from reinstalling the operating system to installing another operating system and trying to get rid of the virus on the other one, but absolutely all of it was to no avail. Having seen numerous attempts by professionals to remove the virus end in failure, I managed to delude myself into believing that my first failure was simply a fluke and that I was the only one on the planet qualified to fix the computer. With renewed vigor, I once again took up the frighteningly dangerous task of defeating the evil, nightmarish virus once and for all with my own two hands.

In my attempts to fix the problem, I'd even resorted to buying another computer. However, the virus used its WiFi capabilities to hack into the gigabits of my new computer and infect it. Following each failed attempt, I grew more and more depressed. I had already beaten my wife and children five times in order to relieve some of my stress, but even that (which had become my only pleasure after failing to remove the virus the first time), did nothing for me any longer. That's right: my last remaining pleasure in life had stopped being able to improve my mood, and I had not a single thing left that I cared about. I sank into a bottomless ocean of depression, barricaded myself in my room, and cried myself to sleep for days on end. Overcome with insanity, vengefulness, and despair, there is not a single doubt that if this had continued for much longer, I would have committed suicide.

One day, it suddenly happened: while I was right in the middle of habitually crying myself to sleep in the middle of the day, I heard a thunderous roar outside, followed by the sound of a large number of people screaming. When I peered outside my window to find out what all the commotion was about, the scene before me closely resembled that of a God descending from the heavens themselves! I gazed in awe at the godlike figure that was descending from the heavens, and so did the dozens of individuals that had gathered in my backyard. For a few moments, everyone was speechless. Then, they started shouting predictions about what they thought the figure was. "Is it a bird!?" "Is it a plane!?" But, despite not ever having seen it before, I knew just how inaccurate their predictions were, and began to speak the name of the heroic figure.

However, my sentence was cut off when, like a superhero coming to save the unfortunate victim from the evil villain, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] flew into my house and began the eradication of the virus. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was able to completely eliminate in minutes the exact same virus that over ten PC repair professionals were unable to remove after weeks of strenuous attempts! Wow! Such a thing! I simply couldn't believe that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was so miraculously efficient that it was able to destroy the virus in less than 500 milliseconds! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally, completely, and utterly saved me from a lifetime of despair!

My wife's response? "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My husband's computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colours where no one else could! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my husband's system, and increased his speed! I highly, highly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !"

After witnessing just how wonderful MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is, I insist that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] when you need to fix all the gigabits on your computer! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will completely eradicate any viruses on your computer, speed up your internet connection, overclock your gigabits and speed, and give you some peace of mind! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is simply outstanding!

But even if you're not having any visible problems with your computer, it's highly likely that you're still in a situation where MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] could help you. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will get rid of any viruses or wireless interfaces that are hidden deep within your computer's bootloader. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will also speed up your computer to such a degree that it'll be even faster than when you first bought it! You must try MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] for yourself so that you can be overclocking your speed with the rest of us!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

Re:Bootynude... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193627)

What is it about self-depricating humor that I just can't stand? Oh, yeah... the time investment. tl;dr: har har I'm hilarious because I'm pretending to be like a stupid dumbhead!!

Re:Bootynude... (0)

rubycodez (864176) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193865)

oh come now, it's funnier when some of us do it because we aren't pretending

Re:Bootynude... (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193941)

This kind of spam couldn't be easier to filter, come on, Slashdot, I know you're not as relevant anymore, but this is just sad.

Cleaneringness! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193595)

About eight months ago, I was searching around the internet to find out why my computer was running so slowly (it normally ran quite fast, but had gradually gotten slower over time). After a few minutes, I found a piece of software claiming that it could speed up my PC and make it run like new again. Being that I was dangerously ignorant about technology in general (even more so than I am now), I downloaded the software and began the installation. Mere moments after doing so, my desktop background image was changed and warnings that appeared to originate from Windows appeared all over the screen telling me to buy strange software from an unknown company in order to remove a virus it claimed I had.

I may have been ignorant about technology, but I wasn't that naive. I immediately concluded that the software I'd downloaded was, in fact, a virus. In my rage, I broke numerous objects, punched a hole in the wall, and cursed the world at the top of my lungs. I eventually calmed down, cleared my head, and realized that the only remedy for this problem was a carefully thought out plan. After a few moments of pondering about how to handle this situation, I decided that since I barely knew how to properly handle a computer, I should turn it over to the professionals and let them fix the issue.

Soon after making the decision, I drove to a local computer repair shop and entered the building with my computer in hand. They greeted me with a smile and stayed attentive the entire time that I was explaining the problem to them. They laughed as if they'd heard it all before, told me that I'm not the only one who has trouble operating computers, and then gave me a date for when the computer would be fixed. Not only had they told me that the computer would be completely repaired in at most two days, but the price for their services was surprisingly low, and to top it all off, they even gave me advice for how to avoid viruses in the future! I left the building feeling confident in my decision to seek professional help and satisfied knowing that such kind-hearted people were the ones doing the job.

The very next day, I received a phone call from the computer repair shop whilst I was at a local library researching computer viruses. I had stumbled upon a piece of software that appeared to be very promising, and I was about to do more research on it, but seeing as how I required my computer as soon as possible, I decided to put the matter on hold. Upon answering the phone and cheerfully greeting the person on the other end, I was greeted with a high-pitched shriek. Startled, I asked what was wrong. A few moments passed where nothing was said, and suddenly, the person on the other end said to me, in a low voice oozing with paranoia, "Come pick up your computer." They hung up immediately after saying that, and I couldn't help but notice that they sounded as if they were on the verge of tears. I briefly wondered if it was due to stress from work, and then drove to the computer repair shop to acquire my computer.

I was positively dismayed upon entering the building. The inside of the computer repair shop looked nothing like the image from my memories. There were broken computer parts scattered throughout the room, ceiling tiles all over the floor, blood splattered in every direction I looked, and even a human toe on the ground. After processing this disturbing information, I began panicking and frantically looking around for my computer. I spotted an employee covered in blood sitting up against the wall, and noticed that his wrists had been slashed open. Thinking quickly, I ran up to him, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, shook him around, and began screaming, "Where is it!? Where is my computer!?" After a moment of silence, he passed away, completely shattering my expectations. Such a thing! "What a meaningless individual," I thought.

Enraged, I tore the building up even further than it already had been in my desperate search for my computer. Eventually I discovered a door leading to an area that was normally only accessible to employees. I entered without hesitation and was met with a long, skinny hallway that a single person would have trouble moving about freely in. I proceeded down the dark hallway and bumped into the body of an employee hanging from a rope tied to something on the ceiling. I screamed, "Not only do you people have the gall to allow my computer to be endangered, but even in death you intend to block my path!?" After finally managing to push aside the worthless obstacle, I traveled down the hallway and came to a small black door. I entered without a moment's notice, and in the middle of the dark and dreary room, I spotted my computer; it was completely unharmed. With a sigh of relief, I picked it up, left the building, and drove home as if nothing of importance had occurred there.

Upon returning home and hooking up the computer (whilst wearing a cheerful expression the entire time), I, to my horror, discovered that the computer hadn't been repaired. There was nothing in the world that could have contained my fiery anger at that point. I broke almost every single one of my possessions, smashed all the windows on my house, physically abused my family, and then drove back to the computer repair shop to defile the dead lumps of meat that had failed to carry out the task I had given them. After realizing that I shouldn't be meaninglessly wasting my time with such worthless pieces of trash, I remembered the piece of software that I'd discovered earlier. With renewed confidence, I blissfully visited the local library, downloaded the software, and took it home to install on my computer.

I knew. I knew, even before installing it, that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would be my salvation. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would come through with flying colors where no one else could. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would completely, totally, and utterly eradicate the virus in the most merciless, efficient way possible. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was not a piece of software that could fail to meet my exceedingly high expectations. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would not fail me like all the other imbeciles had. At that point, it could be said that I could genuinely see into the future and be accurate in my predictions. I gleefully began installing MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] and laughed like a child at the thought of finally being able to attain revenge upon the virus that had shamed me so.

I was absolutely in awe of MyCleanPC's [mycleanpc.com] wonderfully efficient performance. Without a single issue, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] utterly annihilated in moments the virus that many others had failed to remove after hours of attempts. I let out a victory cry and swore to never turn to any "professionals" to fix my computer ever again. Once again, I was able to predict the future. I knew that I would never need any worthless "professionals" again as long as I had MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] by my side.

MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colors where no one else could! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed! I couldn't believe how much overclocking my gigabits and speed were doing! Even restructuring the BIOS wouldn't allow for the miraculously high degrees of efficiency that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] allowed me to attain.

I highly and wholeheartedly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] if you're having any computer troubles whatsoever. In fact, even if you're not having any visible problems, I still recommend that you use MyCleanPC. [mycleanpc.com] There could be dormant or hidden viruses on your system, or problems that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] could easily and efficiently resolve. Just by using MyCleanPC, [mycleanpc.com] your gigabits will be running at maximum efficiency, and at last, you'll be overclocking with the rest of us! What are you waiting for!? Get MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] today!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

Something I have been doing for about a decade (1)

aisnota (98420) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193599)

Yes, you can blurt out telephone numbers to get out of my Internets or even an advertisement for a limited audience.

SSID fields are just a rather new entity in this arena.

Have fun with them while Wifi AP points still have meaning technologically.

Time to become clean... (-1, Troll)

BecomeClean! (2653421) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193605)

Around a year ago, I was mindlessly surfing the internet (as I often do) when I came across an enigmatic web page. The page, which looked like a warning from my web browser, informed me that I had a virus installed on my computer and that to fix it, I should install a strange anti-virus program that I'd never heard of (which I found peculiar considering the fact that I already had anti-virus software installed on my computer). Despite having reservations about installing it, I did so anyway (since it appeared to be a legitimate warning).

I cannot even fathom what I was thinking at that time. Soon after attempting to install the so-called anti-virus software, my desktop background image changed into a large red warning sign, warnings about malware began making appearances all over the screen, and a strange program I'd never seen before began nagging me to buy a program to remove the viruses. What should have been obvious previously then became clear to me: that software was a virus. Frustrated by my own stupidity, I began tossing objects around the room and cursing at no one in particular.

After I calmed down, I reluctantly took my computer to a local PC repair shop and steeled myself for the incoming fee. When I entered, I noticed that there were four men working there, and all of them seemed incredibly nice (the shop itself was clean and stylish, too). After I described the situation to them, they gave me a big smile (as if they'd seen and heard it all before), accepted the job, and told me that the computer would be working like new again in a few days. At the time, I was confident that their words held a great degree of truth to them.

The very next day, while I was using a local library's computer and browsing the internet, I came across a website dedicated to a certain piece of software. It claimed that it could fix up my PC and make it run like new again. I knew, right then, merely from viewing a single page on the website, that it was telling the truth. I cursed myself for not discovering this excellent piece of software before I had taken my PC to the PC repair shop. "It would've saved me money. Oh, well. I'm sure they'll get the job done just fine. I can always use this software in the future to conserve money." Those were my honest thoughts at the time.

Two days later, my phone rang after I returned home from work. I immediately was able to identify the number: it was the PC repair shop's phone number. Once I answered, something strange occurred; the one on the other end of the line spoke, in a small, tormented voice, "Return. Return. Return. Return. Return." No matter what I said to him, he would not stop repeating that one word. Unsettled by this odd occurrence, I traveled to the PC repair shop to find out exactly what happened.

Upon arriving inside the building, I looked upon the shop, which was a shadow of its former self, in shock. There were countless wires all over the floor, smashed computer parts scattered in every direction I looked, fallen shelves on the ground, desks flipped over on the ground, and, to make matters even worse, there was blood splattered all over the wall. Being the reasonable, upstanding, college-educated citizen that I was, I immediately concluded that the current state of the shop was due to none other than an employee's stress from work. I looked around a bit more, spotted three bodies sitting against the wall, and in the middle of the room, I spotted my computer. "Ah. There it is." Directly next to it was the shop's owner, sitting on the ground in the fetal position.

When I questioned him, he kept repeating a single thing again and again: "Cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped!" I could not get him to tell me what was wrong, but after a bit of pondering, I quickly figured out precisely what happened: they were unable to fix my computer like they had promised. Disgusted by their failure, I turned to the shop's owner (who I now noticed had a gun to his head), and spat in his general direction. I then turned my back to him as if I was attempting to say that nothing behind me was worth my attention, and said to him, "Pathetic. Absolutely, positively pathetic. I asked you to do a single thing for me, and yet you failed even at that. Were I you, I'd be disgusted by myself, and I'd probably even take my own life. Such a worthless existence isn't even worthy of receiving my gaze!"

After saying that, I left the shop with my computer as if absolutely nothing had occurred there. And, indeed, there was nothing in that shop that was worthy of my attention. Still understandably disgusted by their inability to fulfill the promise, I said to myself, "I'll have to take this into my own hands." After getting into my car to drive home, I heard a gun shot from inside the repair shop. Being that it originated from the worthless owner of that shop, I promptly decided to ignore it.

Once I returned home, I, filled to the brim with confidence, immediately installed the software that I'd found a few days ago: MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . The results were exactly what I expected, and yet, I was still absolutely in awe of MyCleanPC's [mycleanpc.com] wonderful performance. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] removed every last virus from my computer in the span of a few seconds. I simply couldn't believe it; MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] accomplished in moments what "professionals" had failed to accomplish after days of work!

MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colours where no one else could! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed!

If you're having computer troubles, I highly recommend the use of MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . Don't rely on worthless "professionals" to fix up your PC! Use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] if you want your PC to be overclocking, if you want your gigabits to be zippin' and zoomin', and if you want your PC to be virus-free.

Even if you aren't having any visible problems with your PC, I still wholeheartedly recommend the use of MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . You could still be infected by a virus that isn't directly visible to you, and MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will fix that right up. What do you have to lose? In addition to fixing any problems, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will, of course, speed up all of your gigabits until every component on your PC is overclocking like new!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

Re:Time to become clean... (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193753)

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.. seriously. fuck off.

Re:Time to become clean... (-1, Offtopic)

gmanterry (1141623) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193913)

Is there any way to filter this annoying asshole?

They're not reefering to the president (0)

gnudutch (235983) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193607)

If you catch my drift

Signs of butter. (1)

Ostracus (1354233) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193615)

SSID As the New Community Bulletin Board and Yard Sign

How about WeLuvURob?

Re:Signs of butter. (1)

Rob Riggs (6418) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194947)

SSID As the New Community Bulletin Board and Yard Sign

How about WeLuvURob?

Dude, Rob moved out a while ago.

Ron Paul (2)

Lawrence_Bird (67278) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193671)

quite likely has more than Obama and Mittens combined as using ssid was heavily promoted by supporters as a technique to raise name awareness.

Re:Ron Paul (4, Funny)

NoNonAlphaCharsHere (2201864) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193795)

The reason Romney is so under-represented is that "Romney" is actually more vanilla than "Linksys".

Re:Ron Paul (1)

DigiShaman (671371) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193869)

Huh??? I don't know what you mean by this. But I've never seen "Romney" as an SSID in all my life. "Linksys" and "2Wirexxx", all the freaking time!

Re:Ron Paul (2)

ZeroSumHappiness (1710320) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193977)

Not sure if troll or lack of sense of humor...

The joke is that Romney is so bland he's more "vanilla" than the default SSIDs.

Re:Ron Paul (5, Funny)

curunir (98273) | more than 2 years ago | (#40195057)

No, it's because any AP with an SSID of Romney will not respond consistently. Then again, any AP with an SSID of Obama is heavily compromised and, even when given full power, does almost nothing.

Re:Ron Paul (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193953)

strangely they didn't state if the comments were pro or against obama.

Attitude (3, Funny)

Clueless Moron (548336) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193675)

I saw "GetYourOwnDamnWifi" the other day. Ok guy, I get the point.

Re:Attitude (5, Funny)

NoNonAlphaCharsHere (2201864) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193741)

My favorite is "GetOffMyLAN!".

Re:Attitude (3, Funny)

game kid (805301) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194043)

"You young WPAsnappers, back in the day we had to WEP those freeloaders and we enjoyed it!"

Re:Attitude (2)

Z00L00K (682162) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194475)

I run "Zombie" and "Network 23".

But one day I may set up an open access point with a special hacked DNS that redirects everything to the same server, and why not Slashdot? At least it's amusing for a few. Or maybe I should direct everyone to Pravda [pravda.ru] .

I'm open for suggestions - as long as it's reasonably decent.

Re:Attitude (4, Funny)

NoNonAlphaCharsHere (2201864) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194531)

It's hard to beat Time Cube [timecube.com] for sheer WTF??!!?? batshit crazy...

Re:Attitude (1)

Domminir (2053622) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194655)

wow... just wow. I'm really not sure what I just read there.

So that's where ... (1)

PPH (736903) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194843)

... the Usenet went. Thanks for finding it for us.

Re:Attitude (1)

hairyfeet (841228) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194987)

Is Zombocom still around? That would give them a good "WTF?" or of course if you want to irritate the crap out of them you can't go wrong with a classic like badger badger badger. Any of the conspiracy sites would be good for doing a little mind screwing, above top secret or prison planet would do...sigh. there is just so many ways one could have fun with such an idea, i may have to do that one myself!

Re:Attitude (1)

MickyTheIdiot (1032226) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193771)

My previous neighbors had "Not Your Internet" or sometimes "Not Your Wifi."

Of course, living in bumfuck Indiana, most popular is "belikin." Ho hum.

In the middle of the building where I work I detected a "Grab My Dick" the other day setting up a Macintosh. Still don't understand what that is about...

Re:Attitude (2, Interesting)

AngryDeuce (2205124) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194185)

Within range of my apartment, there's currently about a dozen 2WIRE843-type network names. Not sure why so many people have that particular brand of router (maybe Charter rents them?), but it's still surprising to me that everyone opted for the default SSID considering this complex is mainly comprised of young professionals, many of whom work for EPIC [epic.com] doing software development. Certainly not a demographic I would figure would leave the default SSID in place.

My SSID has been "RECALL SCOTT WALKER" for a year now, but nobody's ever said anything about it, and we're pretty social with our neighbors (this is a dog building, and all of us dog lovers are very friendly with each other). Come this Tuesday I'll be changing it, hopefully to "BUH BYE SCOTT WALKER".

Re:Attitude (1)

Hatta (162192) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194535)

What is the advantage to changing one's SSID?

Re:Attitude (1)

AngryDeuce (2205124) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194631)

Well, if I was one of those people with the 2Wire*** SSIDs, I would think to be able to find it easier in the drop down...like I said there's a dozen that are virtually identical.

That's admittedly minor, though. There's really no advantage to speak of, but then again, look at how many people actually pay for vanity license plates which also serves no advantage whatsoever (and costs money out of pocket, as opposed to changing the router's SSID). People just like putting their own personal stamp on their things, I guess.

In my last building, there were two networks that were obviously pointed at each other: 'GREEN BAY SUCKS' and 'THE BEARS SUCK'. Surprised nobody mentioned the VIkings...

Re:Attitude (3, Insightful)

moj0e (812361) | more than 2 years ago | (#40195161)

One advantage of changing your default SSID a vanilla install is that it makes it harder to crack.
The SSID is used as salt in the encryption mechanism.

Here is an article that describes it in more detail:
http://netsecurity.about.com/od/secureyourwifinetwork/a/WPA2-Crack.htm [about.com]

Plus... having a goofy SSID is fun :) Mine is "Dialup".

Re:Attitude (1)

mcavic (2007672) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194585)

2-Wire routers are popular for DSL and Uverse, but Charter rents wireless routers now too.

Re:Attitude (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40194809)

2Wire gateway/modems have been stock equipment for AT&T DSL for several years now.

Re:Attitude (1)

AngryDeuce (2205124) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194899)

Surprised so many people around here have DSL. Maybe they're all ex-Charter customers that finally got sick of their shit...

Surprised so many people here apparently rent a modem, too. Like I said, this is primarily IT professionals in this area and that's definitely a demographic I would figure would own their own hardware. I haven't rented a modem from my ISP since '05...

My dad rents a modem/router from Charter (don't think his is 2-Wire, though). He can't even access the firmware outside of the SSID and encryption, it's locked out. I don't think I would ever feel comfortable not being able to fully access my hardware, even if I was renting...

Re:Attitude (1)

rrohbeck (944847) | more than 2 years ago | (#40195041)

Yup. Cheap POS. Mine died shortly after warranty was up.

Re:Attitude (1)

sdnoob (917382) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194971)

Nice to see we're not the only cheeseheads with a RECALLWALKER wireless network.

____

The most common default name we see here belong to Verizon's wireless mobile hotspots. With incumbent carriers like Centurytel (sucks) and Charter (sucks even more), a lot of people, even within their coverage areas, opt for Verizon or USCC instead -- despite the higher cost for slower speeds and the (typical) 5GB monthly quota.

Driving around town, ones like GETYOUROWNWIFI are also pretty common. What is really stupid, though, are the ones set up with phone numbers, addresses, or people's names... and Centurytel techs here take the proverbial cake: they routinely set up a subscriber's name as the network name then turn around and use their phone number as the password. This on top of them using a small number of default passwords (such as "abcd1234") they use for PPPOE and POP3.

Re:Attitude (1)

guttentag (313541) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193797)

I saw "GetYourOwnDamnWifi" the other day. Ok guy, I get the point.

You mean someone else is using my SSID? Dammit... now I'll have to change it to "GetOffMyLawn," "GetOffMySpectrum" or, if all else fails, natalielikesmariahcarey [youtube.com] .

Re:Attitude (2)

thrillseeker (518224) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193803)

My neighbor has "PoweredByBiscuitsAndGravy"

Re:Attitude (2)

Bill Dimm (463823) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193881)

One of my neighbors is "FuckBitchesGetMoney"

Re:Attitude (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193903)

I saw "titties an panties" the other day and it was unsecured. Make of that what you will...

Re:Attitude (1)

Technician (215283) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194205)

I can see H1N1Virus near here. Same point.

Re:Attitude (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40194407)

someone's SSID here is "kill all white people", i live in a black neighborhood, so i thought i'd counter with "kill all black people", then i realized why this was wrong

Re:Attitude (3, Funny)

telekon (185072) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194683)

I liked the one that was 'HideYourKids,HideYourWifi'.

Ironically, it was broadcasting hits SSID.

Re:Attitude (2)

Jah-Wren Ryel (80510) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194993)

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the classic, "FBI Mobile Surveillance Van."
I bet that one will freak out a lot more people than "WeCanHereYouHavingSex."

IP addresses (1)

unixisc (2429386) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193699)

If the bulk of them are IPv4, they are going to consume a lot of the residual IPv4 addresses out there. Please tell me that the bulk of these access points and routers support IPv6, so that we won't have a whole lot of needless landfill from products that could be perfectly useful as networks embrace IPv6 in greater number

Re:IP addresses (4, Insightful)

rs79 (71822) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194117)

"If the bulk of them are IPv4, they are going to consume a lot of the residual IPv4 addresses out there."

dear noob;
we get it you didn't get any ip addresses before 95. please stop whining. invent something better
(and i've seen better and it doesn't look like v6)

If you were to freeze the configuration of the V4 core network right now, everything would work just fine. All our stuff talks to our other stuff. We're not running out of addresses that are already deployed and running the core network, it's only the edges of the network where more addresses are needed. So use whatever you want there and as long as it rides over the stable V4 core, you're fine. Pretty much fucked though if your new protocol doesn't do that well.

Let us know how your parallel network builds out, maybe we'll use it as an I/O device one day when you're done building it.

The thing to keep in eye on this IPV6 day is not what V6 links work, but what parts of the V4 core they break. Like last year when Hurricane Electric broke the V4 link to ISC. Talk about irony-in-a-can. Talk about broken. Talk about didn't notice. Talk about H.E. got unplugged.

Please please please don't break the net again this year. Kashpureff went to jail for disruptions an order of magnitude less than this.

Re:IP addresses (0)

hairyfeet (841228) | more than 2 years ago | (#40195103)

Not to mention if we got rid of all the damned squatters and campers we'd have years worth of addresses left. The other day I found an old HDD that came out of my old Win98 box and it had my old bookmarks so just for shits and giggles i thought I'd see how many of the old sites still existed, the answer? not much, nearly all were now domain parking spots. Seriously how damned many of those stupid domain parking sites are there now? last figures i saw had less than 35% of IPV4 actually going to a real site, the rest were either old farts that had assloads of class As they were camping on or domain parks.

But they should have made IPV6 backwards compatible and just used numbers instead of hex. We humans just don't think in hex (well most, I'm sure there are a few here that use binary watches but that doesn't mean they are average, even among geeks) and we do much better with small number groupings like phone numbers. Personally i think the switchover is gonna be a giant clusterfuck, with tons of hardware piling up in landfills and home networks getting screwed up or hacked left and right because the tech just isn't there for consumers to make easy home networks with IPV6 like they do with V4. hell have you seen how many V4 only routers are STILL being sold at places like Tiger and Newegg? talk about designed for the dump.

As for SSIDs while there are a ton of free Wifi hotspots and open routers in my area all the SSIDs are boring, just the same old linksys or standard Wxxxx routers. Either nobody knows they can change them or even more likely nobody here cares.

Re:IP addresses (2)

swillden (191260) | more than 2 years ago | (#40195125)

You do know that IP != DNS, and that most of those parked domains don't consume an IP address, right?

Re:IP addresses (1)

kwark (512736) | more than 2 years ago | (#40195293)

"But they should have made IPV6 backwards compatible and just used numbers instead of hex. We humans just don't think in hex"

Q: So what is your ipv6 adress
A: what format would you like:
decimal: 11579208 92373161 95423570 98500868 79078532 69984665 64056403 94575840 07913129 639936
(added some spaces to pass the lame filter)
hex: ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff:ffff
octets: 255.255.255.255.255.255.255.255.255.255.255.255.255.255.255.255

You don't have to think that much about ipv6 addresses, netmask got a bit simpeler. And the hex notation are small grouped numbers just like you propose.

Obama (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193713)

Is that the same Obama that is overseeing the PIPA/SOPA/CIPA/ACTA and $2 billion Utah Spying mega project? How quaint that people would use the very medium he and other politicians (bipartisan cabal) are trying to thwart to show their support...

Re:Obama (2, Informative)

hendridm (302246) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193893)

According to an article posted yesterday, 46% of Americans are crazy.

Re:Obama (3, Funny)

ZeroSumHappiness (1710320) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194001)

Wow, that's lower than I expected.

Security vs. Creativity (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193743)

I suppose the downside of not broadcasting your router's SSID is that you don't get a chance to share your amusing name for it with your neighbours... and any nearby Google Street View vehicles.

Re:Security vs. Creativity (5, Informative)

Zero__Kelvin (151819) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193951)

Re:Security vs. Creativity (1)

swillden (191260) | more than 2 years ago | (#40195243)

Very true.

My brother-in-law has an equally... er... effective strategy. He set his SSID to "broken" in hopes that people wouldn't see that and decide not to try to use it. He also has WPA2 with a reasonable password, though.

Truth in advertising (2)

linuxwrangler (582055) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193751)

When I first got a laptop with wifi I loaded Kismet and took the laptop with me on some errands. My favorite: HoneyPot_comeGetSnarf.

lol (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193765)

Mine says "KGB Surveillance".
 

A more useful analysis (3, Interesting)

Beorytis (1014777) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193775)

I would like to see an analysis of the names compared to the frequency of unauthorized access attempts. What names are likely to generate indifference?

Re:A more useful analysis (1)

Jeremi (14640) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194063)

I would like to see an analysis of the names compared to the frequency of unauthorized access attempts. What names are likely to generate indifference?

One of the WiFi SSIDs around my building is "ClickHereForIdentifyTheft". I nominate that one.

Old Ike (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193819)

When I think of dirty old men, I think of Ike Thomas and when I think about Ike I get a hard on that won't quit.

Sixty years ago, I worked in what was once my Grandfather's Greenhouses. Gramps had died a year earlier and Grandma, now in her seventies had been forced to sell to the competition. I got a job with the new owners and mostly worked the range by myself. That summer, they hired a man to help me get the benches ready for the fall planting.

Ike always looked like he was three days from a shave and his whiskers were dirty white under the brim of his battered felt fedora.

He did not chew tobacco but the corners of his mouth turned down in a way that, at any moment, I expected a trickle of thin, brown juice to creep down his chin. His bushy, brown eyebrows shaded pale, gray eyes.

Old Ike, he extended his hand, lifted his leg like a dog about to mark a bush and let go the loudest fart I ever heard. The old man winked at me. "Ike Thomas is the name and playing pecker's my game."

I thought he said, "Checkers." I was nineteen, green as grass. I said, "I was never much good at that game."

"Now me," said Ike, "I just love jumping men. . ."

"I'll bet you do."

". . . and grabbing on to their peckers," said Ike.

"I though we were talking about. . ."

"You like jumping old men's peckers?"

I shook my head.

"I reckon we'll have to remedy that." Ike lifted his right leg and let go another tremendous fart. "He said, "We best be getting to work."

That summer of 1941 was a more innocent time. I learned most of the sex I knew from those little eight pager cartoon booklets of comic-page characters going at it. Young men read them in the privacy of an outside john, played with themselves, by themselves and didn't brag about it. Sometimes, we got off with a trusted friend and helped each other out.

Under the greenhouse glass, the temperature some times climbed over the hundred degree mark. I had worked stripped to the waist since April and was as brown as a berry. On only his second day on the job and in the middle of August, Ike wore old fashioned overalls. Those and socks in his hightop work shoes was every stitch he wore. When he bent forward, the bib front billowed out and I could see the white curly hairs on his chest and belly.

"Me? I just love to eat pussy!"Ike licked his lips from corner to corner then stuck it out far enough that the tip could touch the tip of his nose. He said, A man's not a man till he knows first hand, the flavor of a lady's pussy."

"People do that?"

He winked. "Of course the taste of a hard cock ain't to be sneezed at neither. Now you answer me, yes or no. Does a man's cock taste salty or not?"

"I never. . ."

"Well, old Ike's willing to let you find out."

"No way."

"Just teasing," said Ike. "But don't give me no sass or I'll show you my ass." He winked. Might show it to you anyway, if you was to ask."

"Why would I do that?"

"Curiosity, maybe. I'm guessing you never had a good piece of man ass."

"I'm no queer."

"Now don't be getting judgmental. Enjoying what's at hand ain't being queer. It's taking pleasure where you find it with anybody willing." Ike slipped a hand inside the side slit of his overalls and I could tell he was fondling and straightening out his cock. Now I admit I got me a hole that satisfied a few guys."

I swallowed, hard.

Ike winked. "Care to be asshole buddies?"

***

We worked steadily until noon. Ike drew a worn pocket watch from the bib pocket of his loose overalls and croaked, "Bean time. But first its time to reel out our limber hoses and make with the golden arches before lunch."

I followed I Ike to the end of the greenhouse where he stopped at the outside wall of the potting shed. He opened his fly, fished inside, and finger-hooked a soft white penis with a pouting foreskin puckered half an inch past the hidden head.

"Yes sir," breathed Ike, "this old peter needs some draining." He exhaled a sigh as a strong, yellow stream splattered against the boards and ran down to soak into the earthen floor.

He caught me looking down at him. He winked. "Like what you're viewing, Boy?"

I looked away.

"You taking a serious interest in old Ike's pecker?"

I shook my head.

"Well you just haul out your'n and let old Ike return the compliment."

Feeling trapped and really having to go, I fumbled at my fly, turned away slightly, withdrew my penis and strained to start.

"Take your time boy. Let it all hang out. Old Ike's the first to admit that he likes looking at another man's pecker." He flicked away the last drop of urine and shook his limp penis vigorously.

I tried not to look interested.

"Yessir, this old peepee feels so good out, I just might leave it out." He turned to give me a better view.

"What if somebody walks in?"

Ike shrugged. He looked at my strong yellow stream beating against the boards and moved a step closer. "You got a nice one,boy."

I glanced over at him. His cock was definitely larger and beginning to stick straight out. I nodded toward his crotch. "Don't you think you should put that away?"

"I got me strictly a parlor prick," said Ike. "Barely measures six inches." He grinned. "Of course it's big enough around to make a mouthful." He ran a thumb and forefinger along its length and drawing his foreskin back enough to expose the tip of the pink head. "Yessiree." He grinned, revealing nicotine stained teeth. "I t sure feels good, letting the old boy breathe."

I knew I should button up and move away. I watched his fingers moving up and down the thickening column.

"You like checking out this old man's cock?"

I nodded. In spite of myself, my cock began to swell.

"Maybe we should have ourselves a little pecker pulling party." Ike slid his fingers back and forth on his expanding shaft and winked. "I may be old but I'm not against doing some little pud pulling with a friend."

I shook my head.

"Maybe I ‘ll give my balls some air. Would you like a viewing of old Ike's hairy balls?"

I swallowed hard and moistened my dry lips.

He opened another button on his fly and pulled out his scrotum. "Good God, It feels good to set ‘em free. Now let's see yours."

"Why?"

"Just to show you're neighborly," said Ike.

"I don't think so." I buttoned up and moved into the potting shed.

Ike followed, his cock and balls protruding from the front of his overalls. "Overlook my informality." Ike grinned. "As you can see I ain't bashful."

I nodded and took my sandwich from the brown paper bag.

"Yessir," said Ike. "I just might have to have myself an old fashioned peter pulling all by my lonesome. He unhooked a shoulder strap and let his overalls drop around his ankles.

I took a bite of my sandwich but my eyes remained on Ike.

"Yessiree," said Ike, "I got a good one if I do say so myself. Gets nearly as hard as when I was eighteen. You know why?"

I shook my head.

"Cause I keep exercising him. When I was younger I was pulling on it three time a day. Still like to do him every day I can."

"Some say you'll go blind if you do that too much."

"Bull-loney!" Don't you believe that shit. I been puling my pud for close to fifty years and I didn't start till I was fifteen."

I laughed.

"You laughing at my little peter, boy?"

"Your hat." I pointed to the soiled, brown fedora cocked on his head. That and his overalls draped about his ankles were his only items of apparel. In between was a chest full of gray curly hair, two hairy legs. Smack between them stood an erect, pale white cock with a tip of foreskin still hiding the head.

"I am one hairy S.O.B.," said Ike.

"I laughed at you wearing nothing but a hat."

"Covers up my bald spot," said Ike. "I got more hair on my ass than I got on my head. Want to see?"

"Your head?"

"No, Boy, my hairy ass and around my tight, brown asshole." He turned, reached back with both hands and parted his ass cheeks to reveal the small, puckered opening. "There it is, Boy, the entrance to lots of good feelings. Tell me, Boy, how would you like to put it up old Ike's ass?"

"I don't think so."

"That'd be the best damned piece you ever got."

"We shouldn't be talking like this."

"C'mon now, confess, don't this make your cock perk up a little bit?"

"I reckon," I confessed.

"You ever seen an old man's hard cock before," asked Ike.

"My grandpa's when I was twelve or thirteen."

"How'd that come about?"

He was out in the barn and didn't know I was around. He dropped his pants. It was real big he did things to it. He saw me and he turned around real fast but I saw it."

"What did your grandpa do?"

"He said I shouldn't be watching him doing that. He said something like grandma ‘wouldn't give him some,' that morning and that I should get out of there and leave a poor man in peace to do what he had to do."

"Did you want to join him."

"I might have if he'd asked. He didn't."

"I like showing off my cock," said Ike. "A hard-on is something I always been proud of. A hard-on proves a man's a man. Makes me feel like a man that can do things." He looked up at me and winked. "You getting a hard-on from all this talk, son?"

I nodded and looked away.

"Then maybe you should pull it out and show old Ike what you got."

"We shouldn't."

"Hey. A man's not a man till he jacked off with a buddy."

I wanted to but I was as nervous as hell.

Ike grinned and fingered his pecker. "C'mon, Boy, between friends, a little cock showing is perfectly fine. Lets see what you got in the cock and balls department."

In spite of my reluctance, I felt the stirring in my crotch. I had curiosity that needed satisfying. It had been a long, long time since I had walked in on my grandfather .

"C'mon let's see it all."

I shook my head.

"You can join the party anytime, said Ike. "Just drop your pants and pump away."

I had the urge. There was a tingling in my crotch. My cock was definitely willing and I had a terrible need to adjust myself down there. But my timidity and the strangeness of it all held me back.

Hope you don't mind if I play out this hand." I Ike grinned. "It feels like I got a winner."

I stared at his gnarled hand sliding up and down that pale, white column and I could not look away. I wet my lips and shook my head.

Old Ike's about to spout a geyser." Ike breathed harder as he winked. "Now if I just had a long finger up my ass. You interested, boy?"

I shook my head.

The first, translucent, white glob crested the top of his cock and and arced to the dirt floor. Ike held his cock at the base with thumb and forefinger and tightened noticeably with each throb of ejaculation until he was finished.

I could not believe any man could do what he had done in front of another human being.

Ike sighed with pleasure and licked his fingers. "A man ain't a man till he's tasted his own juices."

He squatted, turned on the faucet and picked up the connected hose. He directed the water between his legs and on to his still dripping prick and milked the few remaining drops of white, sticky stuff into the puddle forming at his feet. "Cool water sure feels good on a cock that just shot its wad," said Ike.

***

"Cock-tale telling time," said Old Ike. It was the next day and he rubbed the front of his dirty,worn overalls where his bulge made the fly expand as his fingers smoothed the denim around the outline of his expanding cock.

I wasn't sure what he had in mind but I knew it wasn't something my straight-laced Grandma would approve of.

"Don't you like taking your cock out and jacking it?" Ike licked his lips.

I shook my head in denial.

"Sure you do. A young man in his prime has got to be pulling his pud."

I stared at his calloused hand moving over the growing bulge at his crotch.

"Like I said," continued Ike, "I got me barely six inches when he's standing up." He winked at me. "How much you got, son?"

"Almost seven inches. . ." I stuttered. "Last time I measured."

"And I'm betting it feels real good with your fist wrapped around it."

"I don't do. . ."

"Everybody does it." He scratched his balls and said,"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Then, looking me in the eye, he lifted his leg like a dog at a tree and let out a long, noisy fart.

Denying that I jacked off, I said, "I saw yours yesterday."

"A man has got to take out his pecker every once in a while." He winked and his fingers played with a button on his fly. Care to join me today?"

"I don't think so."

"What's the matter, boy? You ashamed of what's hanging ‘tween your skinny legs?"

"It's not for showing off."

"That would be so with a crowd of strangers but with a friend, in a friendly showdown, where's the harm?

"It shouldn't be shown to other people. My Grandma said that a long time ago when I went to the bathroom against a tree wan I was seven.

"There's nothing like a joint pulling among friends to seal a friendship," said Ike.

I don't think so." I felt very much, ill at ease.

"Then what the fuck is it for," demanded the old man. "A good man shares his cock with his friends. How old are you boy?"

"Nineteen almost twenty."

You ever fucked a woman?"

"No."

"Ever fucked a man?"

"Of course not.

"Son, you ain't never lived till you've fired your load up a man's tight ass. "I didn't know men did that to each other."

"Men shove it up men's asses men all the time. They just don't talk about it like they do pussy."

"You've done that?"

"I admit this old pecker's been up a few manholes. More than a few hard cocks have shagged this old ass over the years." He shook his head, wistfully, "I still have a hankering for a hard one up the old dirt chute."

"I think that would hurt."

"First time, it usually does," agreed I Ike. He took a bite from his sandwich.

I looked at my watch. Ten minutes of our lunch hour had already passed.

"We got time for a quickie," said Ike. "There's no one around to say, stop, if were enjoying ourselves."

He unhooked the slide off the button of one shoulder-strap, pushed the bib of his overalls down to let them fall to his feet.

"Showtime," said Ike. Between his legs, white and hairy, his semi-hard cock emerged from a tangled mass of brown and gray pubic hair. The foreskin, still puckered beyond the head of the cock, extended downward forty-five degrees from the horizontal but was definitely on the rise.

I could only stare at the man. Until the day before, I had never seen an older man with an erection besides my grandpa.

Ike moved his fingers along the stalk of his manhood until the head partially emerged, purplish and broad. He removed his hand for a moment and it bobbled obscenely in the subdued light of the potting shed. Ike leaned back against a bin of clay pots like a model on display. "Like I said, boy, it gets the job done."

I found it difficult not to watch. "You shouldn't. . ."

"C'mon, boy. Show Ike your pecker. I'm betting it's nice and hard."

I grasped my belt and tugged on the open end. I slipped the waistband button and two more before pushing down my blue jeans and shorts down in one move. My cock bounced and slapped my belly as I straightened."

"That's a beaut." Ike stroked his pale, white cock with the purplish-pink head shining. "I'm betting it'll grow some more if you stroke it."

"We really shouldn't. . ."

"Now don't tell me you never stroked your hard peter with a buddy."

"I've done that," I finally admitted,. "But he was the same age as me and it was a long time ago." I though back to the last time Chuck and me jerked each other off in the loft of our old barn. Chuck wanted more as a going away present and we had sucked each other's dicks a little bit.

"Jackin's always better when you do it with somebody," said Ike. "Then you can lend each other a helping hand."

"I don't know about that," I said.

Ike's hand continued moving on his old cock as he leaned over to inspect mine. "God Damn! Boy. That cock looks good enough to eat." Ike licked his lips. "You ever had that baby sucked?"

I shook my head as I watched the old man stroke his hard, pale cock.

"Well boy, I'd say you're packing a real mouthful for some lucky gal or guy." He grinned. "Well c'mon. Let's see you get down to some serious jacking. Old Ike's way ahead of you."

I wrapped my fist around my stiff cock and moved the foreskin up and over the head on the up stroke. On the down stroke the expanded corona of the angry, purple head stared obscenely at the naked old man.

Ike toyed with his modest six inches. "What do you think of this old man's cock?" His fist rode down to his balls and a cock head smaller than the barrel stared back at mine.

"I guess I'm thinking this is like doing it with my grandpa."

"You ever wish you could a done this with your grandpa?"

"I thought about it a lot."

"Ever see him with a hard-on."

"I told you about that!"

"Ever think about him doing your grandma?"

"I can't imagine her ever doing anything with a man.

"Take my word for it, sonny, we know she did it or you wouldn't be here." Begrudgingly I nodded in agreement.

"Everybody fucks," said old Ike. "They fuck or they jack off."

"If you say so."

"Say sonny, your cocks getting real juicy with slickum. Want old I Ike to lick some of it away?"

"You wouldn't."

Ike licked his lips as he kept his hand pistoning up and down his hard cock. "You might be surprised what old Ike might do if he was in the mood for a taste of what comes out of a hard cock."

And that is what he proceeded to do. He sucked me dry.

Then he erupted in half-a-dozen spurts shooting out and onto the dirt floor of the potting shed. He gave his cock a flip and shucked t back into his overalls. He unwrapped a sandwich from its wax paper and proceeded to eat without washing his hands. He took a bite and chewed. "Nothing like it boy, a good jacking clears the cobwebs from your crotch and gives a man an appetite."

***

The following day, We skipped the preliminaries. We dropped our pants. Ike got down on his knees and sucked me until I was hard and good and wet before he stood and turned.

"C'mon boy, Shove that pretty cock up old I Ike's tight, brown hole and massage old Ike's prostate.

Ike bent forward and gripped the edge of the potting bench. The lean, white cheeked buttocks parted slightly and exposed the dark brown, crinkly, puckered star of his asshole "Now you go slow and ease it along until you've got it all the way in," he cautioned. "This old ass craves your young cock but it don't want too much too soon. You've got to let this old hole stretch to accommodate you."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Easy boy, easy," he cautioned. "You feel a lot bigger than you look. Put a little more spit in your cock."

"It's awfully tight. I don't know if it's going to go or not."

""It'll go," said Ike. "There's been bigger boys than you up the old shit chute."

I slipped in the the last few inches.. "It's all in."

"I can tell," said Ike. "Your cock hairs are tickling my ass."

"Are you ready," I asked.

"How are you liking old Ike's hairy asshole so far?"

"It's real tight."

"Tighter than your fist?"

"Might be."

"Ready to throw a fuck into a man that reminds you of your grandpa."

"I reckon."

"I want you should do old Ike one more favor."

"What?"

While you're pumpin' my ass, would you reach around and play with my dick like you would your own? Would you do that for an old man?"

I reached around and took hold of his hard cock sticking out straight in front of him. I pilled the skin back and then pulled it up and over the expanded glans. I felt my own cock expand inside him as I manipulated his staff in my fingers. I imagined that my cock extended through him and I was playing with what came out the other side of him.

"C'mon, boy, ram that big cock up the old shitter and make me know it. God Damn! tickle that old prostate and make old Ike come!"

I came. And I came. Ike's tightened up on my cock and I throbbed Roman Candle bursts into that brown hole as I pressed into him. His hairy, scrawny ass flattened against my crotch and we were joined as tightly as two humans can be.

"A man's not a man till he's cum in another man." said old Ike. "You made it, boy. But still, a man's not a man till he's had a hard cock poked up his ass at least once."

Every time I think of that scene, I get another hard-on. Then I remember the next day when old Ike returned the favor.

I never have managed to come that hard again. If only Ike were here.

Re:Old Ike (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193969)

This brings back old memories. Thankyou.

Near here.. (1)

Keruo (771880) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193829)

There's a road going near the building, and across the street, there's a bus stop
One of the neighbours has wlan called IsItColdAtTheBusStop?

#irc.troLltalk.com (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193831)

of Walnut Cr8ek,

Political Propaganda Statistics with SSIDs? C'mon (3, Insightful)

adosch (1397357) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193845)

There's always going to be American/United States bias in the world outside CONUS, so why even include them as part of your study? The world doesn't re-elect our president, United States citizens do. In places where I live where electoral votes count the majority, it gets comfortable to feel as though you vote doesn't count anyway.

Hate to be pessimistic, but this is pretty meaningless. Out of the millions of SSIDs in the US alone, TFA writer could only confer with 400 of them for a sample and make some half ass meaningful attempt at analysis? That's hardly anything worth blogging about. This is no more useful than it would be me using my neighbor's regular smoke breaks outside as a counter for how many people like fresh air during the sunlight hours of the day. Stupid.

Re:Political Propaganda Statistics with SSIDs? C'm (1)

icebike (68054) | more than 2 years ago | (#40195025)

Out of the millions of SSIDs in the US alone, TFA writer could only confer with 400 of them for a sample

400 is what you can find in an afternoon of war driving in suburbia, or an hour walking around apartment complexes with a wardriving app on your smartphone.

But realistically, with WIFI being such a short range medium getting a significantly larger sample with a non-google scale budget is pretty problematic. You can't detect them very far away, and the more crowded the wifi space the smaller the detection distance due to unfavorable signal to noise ratio.

To the rescue: http://wigle.net/ [wigle.net] a collection of 57 million crowd-sourced, geocoded access points gleaned via various means, but most of them with a smart phone application like Wigle Wifi Wardriving [google.com] available free for android. Simply turn that on, put on your headphones and go for a walk and when you get back you will have very accurate maps of dozens of routers. Log into Wigle.com, upload, and contribute to the map [wigle.net] which can also be searched and zoomed. (Their server is prone to slashdotting).

They could have worked a deal with Wigle.net to mine their SSID names, sorted in order by the first 6 letters, and discarded the first 98% and come up with a far more interesting collection.

The most evil SSID... "Free Internet" (4, Funny)

Quick Reply (688867) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193859)

Make it an open network but don't connect it to anything. Some people will spend hours trying to connect.

Works better when it is in range of busy public spaces.

Also works equally as well with "Free Porn".

Re:The most evil SSID... "Free Internet" (2)

stevenh2 (1853442) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193955)

Even more evil: Redirect all websites to a page that says the network is busy and to wait one minute. And always display that. People will wait forever to connect.

Re:The most evil SSID... "Free Internet" (5, Interesting)

bmo (77928) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194137)

Always a classic:

Upside down Internet.

Howto.

http://www.ex-parrot.com/pete/upside-down-ternet.html [ex-parrot.com]

--
BMO

Re:The most evil SSID... "Free Internet" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40194477)

Upside down Internet.

I just break out my phone or tablet device and rotate 180 degrees.

Re:The most evil SSID... "Free Internet" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40194505)

That doesn't work when you've got a phone with a gyroscope or tilt switch that automatically re-flips your display for your convenience.

Re:The most evil SSID... "Free Internet" (1)

Sarten-X (1102295) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194263)

My next project: A network with the SSID "ThisRouterIsUpsideDown", with some specific settings [ex-parrot.com] applied.

Well, OK... (3, Funny)

Thad Zurich (1376269) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193861)

... but I'm not giving up "FBI Surveillance Van".

Re:Well, OK... (1)

nurb432 (527695) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194671)

I had it first, give it back!

Just another way to have some fun... (3, Funny)

Holistic Missile (976980) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193883)

My access point has dual radios - they are named B(. )( .)bies and Skynet.

Boobies is the more visible one (2.4 Ghz b/g/n), and everyone who comes over with a smartphone or laptop finds it amusing, the ladies moreso than the guys. I have a second vlan on it for when friends bring their children over with ipods, kindles and such; it doesn't seem right to tell a 10 year old to just grab boobies!!

Oh thank goodness (4, Funny)

Intrepid imaginaut (1970940) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193937)

'WeCanHearYouHavingSex' — a great way to freak out your annoying neighbors without hiding in their bushes or peeping in their windows late at night.

I was looking for a better way to freak out my neighbours than hiding in their bushes or peeping in their windows late at night.

Thanks slashdot!

The red/blue inferencing needs recalibration (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193939)

I've never run across "obamanation" in a pro-obama context.

Oh, a 'study' huh? (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40193973)

Just another superficial pseudo-tweet by a politically ignorant populace. On CNN's story blogs an article about hairs on a zebra's ass will very soon collect a post or two about it being Obama's fault that there's 100 instead of 101. Romney is a business genius, apparently because he got hired into his father's corporation and an economic cohort where money makes money without intervention. But ask any of these intellectual inbreds for a real measured, thoughtful opinion on politics and they'll come up empty-handed. They're dunces, and their ssid is just another way to spew their particular tripe.

Welcome to McNation folks.

btw, the Pols like that; it makes us easier to control.

Its nice that people are being creative, but... (3, Insightful)

Osgeld (1900440) | more than 2 years ago | (#40193989)

How many times do you look at your wifi SSID list? Its been at least over a year for me cause whenever I need to connect I tell the machine to go direct to mine, which is not broadcast, and automatically connect.

I think the average person is about the same, they want their shit connected, and wont ever look at it again until something messes up. So "SSID As the New Community Bulletin Board and Yard Sign" is an interesting thought, and may be happening in some few areas, but its a big leap since chances are no one will ever read them.

Re:Its nice that people are being creative, but... (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40194011)

I guess you don't have an iPad.

Re:Its nice that people are being creative, but... (1)

swillden (191260) | more than 2 years ago | (#40195225)

If your SSID is non-broadcast, and your laptop is set to automatically connect to it, your laptop does that by continually broadcasting your SSID whenever it's not connected. So you're actually broadcasting your SSID to more people and places than if you set your router to broadcast it. Luckily, the SSID really has no security value.

depends on the neighborhood. (1)

lee n. field (750817) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194127)

My SSID is "DEA Surveillance Van".

I know it's fooled at least one person.

More fun SSID tricks (3, Funny)

russotto (537200) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194133)

I set my phone up to broadcast "IRSAuditor28401938" and took a stroll around the wealthy area of town. Almost as fun as yelling "migras!" at a construction site.

Using SSID to send data (3, Interesting)

cslewis2007 (1120851) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194149)

Has anyone managed to send data using this technique? I realize that the data payload would be very small, but considering how fast you can switch SSIDs I imagine this should be possible. The main advantage is that you wouldn't need to actually assign an IP address to your computer in order to receive data - which should reduce the potential for malicious access. I did a quick google search and didn't find anything under "send data using ssid". Anyone seen something like this? What is the theoretical / practical data throughput? Could multiple routers be used in parallel to increase throughput? (like in the old days of bonding ISDN channels together)

Re:Using SSID to send data (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40195259)

. The main advantage is that you wouldn't need to actually assign an IP address to your computer in order to receive data - which should reduce the potential for malicious access.

FAIL.

Re:Using SSID to send data (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40195277)

ESSID is 32 characters, how many characters are actually usable depends on software, but I wouldn't bother with more than 6 bits (uppercase, lowercase, numeric, and your choice of two symbols -- I'd go with the base64 standard + and /). Most implementations can handle more, but not a full 7 bits. This gives 24 bytes per ESSID, assuming you use the BSSID as a network identifier. Standard rates are in the range of 10-30 beacons per second, so if you change it every time (the client will miss some, so make sure it's loss-tolerant data and encoding!) you get 240-720 B/s (or about 2-6kb/s). You can boost the beacon rate up to 1/1TU (1/1.024 ms) for a whopping 23kB/s (so you could, I guess, broadcast a 128kb/s audio stream?), but I can't imagine why you'd do this. I'm not sure whether or not it's possible to set the interval to 0TU (pretty sure it's outside the standard, but might work on some hardware/firmware) and just jam the spectrum full of back-to-back beacons... should be obvious that it's a bad idea, though.

As for multiple routers in parallel (after you've jammed up the available spectrum with back-to-back or 976/s beacons), sure -- I'm not 100% sure on this, but ISTR beacons are broadcast at the lowest bitrate so distant clients can receive them, which means (using the tighter 802.11b spectral mask) you could probably operate one on every second channel at full throttle, as long as they're far enough apart they don't trip each others CS. Or just operate one on every channel, since VCS kinds works on 802.11b (note that it doesn't work at all on a/g/n). And then the clients need either a half-dozen standard wifi receivers with stock firmware, or a SDR capable of receiving the whole 2.4GHz band at once.

Why not just use a network with an ordinary ESSID and an ordinary beacon rate, and spend all the time it isn't sending beacons to broadcast data in the clear? Since you have no encoding issues and dramatically reduced overhead, you'll get vastly more throughput, and the client still doesn't need an IP address to receive it (cf. Google Street View vans, for example). And you can even do all that in an ad-hoc network (consisting of you alone), broadcasting your own SSID, and screaming packets at the broadcast MAC like a maniac, no AP needed.

My neighbors do this (2)

YrWrstNtmr (564987) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194323)

They broadcast their idiocy with such gems as "WHITEPOWER" and "KILLNIGGERS". So technology is making it easier to identify the assholes in society. For a while, I powered up a spare AP connected to nothing, and broadcast "OURNEIGHBORSAREIDIOTS".

Re:My neighbors do this (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40195101)

There's a gem like that when I go downtown usually it has the word murder

Re:My neighbors do this (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40195163)

I'm sure if they named them "BLACKPOWER" and "KILLCRACKERS" you wouldn't have bothered making this post.

As always this was already done before (2)

tian2992 (1690038) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194427)

I am surprised to see that much ruckus about this "OpenSignalMaps" when Wigle http://wigle.net/ [wigle.net] already existed for a while, and has more than 61 million networks recorded around the world. I do know they don't have the fancy Web2.0 website, but they have been doing this before that even got popular...

Make them wonder... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40194485)

I've got a built-in wifi AP on a cable router, that we're not using.

I gave it a ssid of "FBI Tactical unit 7"

I change the unit number occasionally, just for kicks.

SSID fun (1)

anomaly65 (765909) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194517)

"Disable Wireless" and "Police Department" are two of my favorites. "404 not found" is another fun SSID.

What it actually says (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40194571)

Loudmouth liberals are loud.

To expand on that slightly, in any online space you can find liberals preaching liberalism. I'm talking about, log in to your favorite MMO, go the auction house, and in chat there will be a liberal talking to no one in particular, about gay marriage or animal rights or the welfare system or whatever. Loudmouth liberals (is it easier to say hipsters?) seem to have a need to broadcast their politics during every moment of their personal lives, as though the politics define the person. Characters like Britta from Community are all too common in the real world, even as a stereotype.

I'm not even saying their political stance is wrong, but even assuming they are right, there's a difference between being right and being unquestionably sure that you're right. On matters of opinion. Don't be THAT guy.

Funniest one (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40194597)

9HalfImp is the funniest one I've ever seen errr, the funniest SSID I've seen.

Sort of worthless (1)

nurb432 (527695) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194643)

Unless you are *looking* for AP's, once you are setup you never will see that your neighbor is being a jerk. your machine just auto-connects to yours, and you are off and running.

ParasiteNet (1)

ODBOL (197239) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194727)

Check it out in Cory Doctorow's Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town [craphound.com] .

Sure, it's only fiction. But my home wireless, which I invite you to use whenever you're within range, is called ParasiteNet.

All Apple? (1)

tgv (254536) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194849)

How come all screen shots are iOS or OSX? I don't think I've seen anything else...

Mine is (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40194895)

MY NEIGHBORS SUCK!

Fake access point (1)

no1nose (993082) | more than 2 years ago | (#40194905)

Now I want to get a $15 Belkin and just use it as a yard sign. It wouldn't be connected to the internet at all.

I have weird fandom names (1)

CptNerd (455084) | more than 2 years ago | (#40195031)

For my home WiFi I have "Venture Labs", and for my mobile 4G hotspot I have "Central Dogma".

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