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Raunchy Dance Routine a PR Nightmare For Microsoft

samzenpus posted about 2 years ago | from the was-that-wrong? dept.

Microsoft 322

theodp writes "GeekWire reports on the techno-dance routine that preceded Microsoft's Windows Azure presentation at the Norwegian Developers Conference this week, which featured a group of women jumping around on stage to a song that included several drug references and the line: 'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.' In a strange effort to be inclusive, a monitor displaying the lyrics added, 'or vagina.' The official Windows Azure YouTube channel has posted an apology for 'a skit that involved inappropriate and offensive elements and vulgar language,' and said it's actively looking into the matter. Hey, could've been worse — at least @ASUS wasn't live-tweeting the event!"

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322 comments

Or Vagina? (5, Funny)

eldavojohn (898314) | about 2 years ago | (#40282637)

'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.' In a strange effort to be inclusive, a monitor displaying the lyrics added, 'or vagina.'

What in the hell is an "or vagina"? Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?

Re:Or Vagina? (1)

Joce640k (829181) | about 2 years ago | (#40282711)

At least they had the good sense not to Streisand it.

Revised retraction (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283191)

I hear they just revised their YouTube retraction in order to be more inclusive.

“This week’s Norwegian Developer’s Conference included a skit that involved inappropriate and offensive elements and vulgar language. We apologize to our customers and our partners and are actively looking into the matter or vagina.”

Re:Or Vagina? (5, Funny)

netwarerip (2221204) | about 2 years ago | (#40282747)

'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.' In a strange effort to be inclusive, a monitor displaying the lyrics added, 'or vagina.'

What in the hell is an "or vagina"? Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?

Well, Micro and Soft would be ideal for a vagina.

Re:Or Vagina? (0, Redundant)

Chrisq (894406) | about 2 years ago | (#40282935)

'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.' In a strange effort to be inclusive, a monitor displaying the lyrics added, 'or vagina.'

What in the hell is an "or vagina"? Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?

Well, Micro and Soft would be ideal for a vagina.

Maybe for you, would it match the size of your dick?

Re:Or Vagina? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283007)

Brogrammers in Redmond?! Oh horrors!

Re:Or Vagina? (2)

Shirogitsune (1810950) | about 2 years ago | (#40282779)

It is my understanding that it typically works that way:

if(P || V){ ... } //Works
if(P && V){ ... } //Kernel Panic

Re:Or Vagina? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283063)

shouldn't dat be XOR?

Re:Or Vagina? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283221)

God damn that needs to be on a T-shirt immediately

Re:Or Vagina? (1)

pympdaddyc (586298) | about 2 years ago | (#40282791)

What in the hell is an "or vagina"? Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?

Maybe it's Microsoft's new OR-V framework: Object Relational Vagina (ORV)

Re:Or Vagina? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282941)

What in the hell is an "or vagina"? Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?

RTFM for vagina alternatives ...

Re:Or Vagina? (1, Funny)

vlm (69642) | about 2 years ago | (#40283001)

Is that new hardware slang for an OR gate?

I read that as a Perl colloquialism for error detection, you know, like:

open blah blah blah OR croak 'could not open the Fing file sorry bout that';

No I have no idea what it means in context of the microsoft show to have that as your error detection routine.

Maybe its time for a (bad) joke about ReiserFS error handling code involving executing one? (hey no complaining, I warned you it was a bad joke first)

Official Stance (5, Funny)

EXTomar (78739) | about 2 years ago | (#40283009)

Microsoft's official stance: If you aren't sure what something is, Bing(tm) it. Go to your XBox 360 with Kinnect and shout proudly "XBOX BING OR VAGINA".

Re:Or Vagina? (1)

Dunbal (464142) | about 2 years ago | (#40283081)

This is why you should never let marketing departments write song lyrics... and then pass them through the legal department.

Re:Damage control (4, Interesting)

miknix (1047580) | about 2 years ago | (#40283217)

Microsoft already seems to be doing some kind of damage control because I cannot share this link on facebook. Facebook tells me I'm trying to share a blocked link...

What happened to the good old days? (5, Funny)

DickBreath (207180) | about 2 years ago | (#40282667)

developers, Developers, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS ?

I Love This Company!

Re:What happened to the good old days? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282683)

Which do you think said developers would prefer to look at - a group of women jumping around on stage or an extremely over-emotional man shouting DEVELOPERS repeatedly while jumping around on stage?

Re:What happened to the good old days? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282751)

Which do you think said developers would prefer to look at - a group of women jumping around on stage or an extremely over-emotional man shouting DEVELOPERS repeatedly while jumping around on stage?

Doesn't matter, eyes are fixated at the smartphone regardless. It's not like anything useful would be said during the presentation anyway.

Re:What happened to the good old days? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282811)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the whole act introduced with a loud "Developeeeers, are you ready to Paaaarty"? What's the English word for "FremdschÃmen"? Not to mention that I still find being marketed to with displays of completely gratuitous raunchiness insulting. I'm not an insurance salesman or a used car dealer and I don't want to be enticed like one.

Re:What happened to the good old days? (3, Funny)

jedidiah (1196) | about 2 years ago | (#40283087)

...at least not in public where everyone can see you.

Re:What happened to the good old days? (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283187)

No, not at all. There's nothing wrong with gratuitous raunchiness in general, but if it's used for marketing, then it's sleazy.

Re:What happened to the good old days? (5, Funny)

bitt3n (941736) | about 2 years ago | (#40282805)

developers, Developers, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS

or vagina

Re:What happened to the good old days? (0)

vlm (69642) | about 2 years ago | (#40282909)

featured a group of women jumping around on stage

You mean a redundant array of inexpensive ones. They forgot to pluralize. Assuming they're inexpensive. Most of the ones I've spent time with seem terribly expensive.

I suspect there's a strange Scala Actors joke in there too, something about inheriting the InputChannel and Serializable but I'd like one without the CanReply and OutputChannel

They Should Just Accept It and Go Full Awkward (3, Funny)

eldavojohn (898314) | about 2 years ago | (#40282873)

developers, Developers, DEVELOPERS, DEVELOPERS ?

Since all their attempts just result in complete awkwardness, I know that Tim & Eric sometimes do product skits (like this board game [youtube.com] ) and I think that Microsoft should just go full intended awkward and hire Tim & Eric. That way nobody can make fun of them for being awkward and, like, twenty years from now they will be seen as doing comedy WAY ahead of its time.

Re:What happened to the good old days? (1)

Richard_at_work (517087) | about 2 years ago | (#40282945)

As I understand it, the dance routine, music, girls and words were supplied by the NDC, not Microsoft - they were apparently quite surprised when it happened!

Re:What happened to the good old days? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282977)

On a more serious note, they were almost actually wanting to get rid of a large number of developers by locking out Visual Studio from doing certain things, if I remember correct.
It was only developer backlash that got them to change their minds.

God knows what is happening in Microsoft.
Bill certainly must be glad he got out of there. He was at the top, he could see how close it was to collapsing.

Seems the Microsoft Empire may be closer to collapse.
They have been restructuring a lot of stuff for the changing Microsoft world that will come with Windows 8.
The backlash from Vis7a has been bad enough as it is. If that happens again with Win8... they'll need all the luck in the world.
Given that every other Windows has been a bad one, and even though nobody sane would class Win7 as a new Windows version, it is an official new version nonetheless, Win8 is up on the stage for fail. 3 not-well received OSes in a row has gotta hurt.

And on that note, the ideas behind Win8 could have been so much better if they implemented it back when they added IE to the OS.
An open store for competition would have entrenched them in even more business if they had taken advantage of their position, and actually be fair as opposed to the things they actually ended up doing... now they are suffering with everyone hating the browser development for being so lax until just recently.

Re:What happened to the good old days? (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283091)

vagina, Vagina, VAGINA, VAGINA!

I love this company!

Re:What happened to the good old days? (2)

samoanbiscuit (1273176) | about 2 years ago | (#40283165)

I couldn't finish the video because it was so funny! I am still chuckling in a bad way as I type this. Embarrassment humour always makes me laugh, yet wince in sympathy at the same time, I can only take so much before I'm uncomfortable. This is so awkward, uncool and hilariously 40-year old virgin stupid I just cannot

OBLIGATORY CONSPIRACY THEORY: I think it was an epic troll by someone who doesn't like Microsoft, maybe someone from nearby Finland let go because of Nokia's "restructuring"?

HaHa! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282697)

This fits Microsoft's perennially pathetic marketing and PR to a T. They're like the clueless geek, always trying too hard to be cool, never succeeding.

Re:HaHa! (1)

sideslash (1865434) | about 2 years ago | (#40283069)

This fits Microsoft's perennially pathetic marketing and PR to a T. They're like the clueless geek, always trying too hard to be cool, never succeeding.

Wait. Are you insulting or complimenting them? This is Slashdot, you know. I flatter myself that I have more sense of geeky things than of fashion and hipness.

huh? (3, Interesting)

MickyTheIdiot (1032226) | about 2 years ago | (#40282715)

Sorry.. was that a Loiter Squad skit?

I can't see any way that as not meant as an intentional parody.

Either way, or the writer was on drugs.

Oh yeah, it's the latter. Never mind.

Childish (4, Insightful)

aepervius (535155) | about 2 years ago | (#40282717)

"'The words MICRO and SOFT don't apply to my penis.'"

And the word "maturity" and "adulthood" don't seem to apply to your brain either.

Jezus Fucking Puritans. (5, Informative)

MRe_nl (306212) | about 2 years ago | (#40282741)

But that dance routine WAS a disaster.
Also, that's not Techno.

Re:Jezus Fucking Puritans. (2)

JazzHarper (745403) | about 2 years ago | (#40283025)

TFA was written by Todd Bishop, one of the founders of GeekWire. Apparently, he thought it was all perfectly scandalous. He must not get out much.

If he has any connection to the Brownists, it would be at least ten generations back.

Well I'm glad Microsoft is finally cool. (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282759)

Now I'll finally get some use out of these condoms I've been hanging onto. For my penis. Or vagina.

OH MY GAWD !!! HE SAID PENIS (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282763)

Jesus Americans need to grow up!

Re:OH MY GAWD !!! HE SAID PENIS (4, Insightful)

MickyTheIdiot (1032226) | about 2 years ago | (#40282789)

As an American I am only offended that the girls weren't hotter and the dance wasn't more sexy.

The words to the "song.." well, I can only say this: "Non Native Speaker."

Non-Native Insight (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283043)

Actually, we speak English just fine here [in Norway], even though it's a second language for most. English is after all a close cousin of the Scandinavian languages, Dutch and German. It's closer to "native" than you would think.

I'm sorry to say we have no excuse for this silly little song, other than that we have a different culture and couldn't care less about offending "sensitive" foreigners :)

I haven't heard the song itself, but you might want to consider the fact that we also like to intentionally create songs that make a mockery of both our languages. It's called parody. Things are not always what they appear to be ;)

Re:OH MY GAWD !!! HE SAID PENIS (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283099)

Or vagina.

Re:OH MY GAWD !!! HE SAID PENIS (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282893)

Yes, grow up and laugh maturely at jokes about dicks, you childish Americans!

Anyone else remember Microsoft Mambo #5? (4, Funny)

Suzuran (163234) | about 2 years ago | (#40282767)

I remember when they rolled out the Microsoft Mambo #5, it was so bad I had to leave the room so I wouldn't laugh in front of the customers. I don't know who thought this was a good idea, but they should be dragged to death behind a truck.

Re:Anyone else remember Microsoft Mambo #5? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283157)

...or vagina.

Re:Anyone else remember Microsoft Mambo #5? (-1)

DoofusOfDeath (636671) | about 2 years ago | (#40283169)

I remember when they rolled out the Microsoft Mambo #5, it was so bad I had to leave the room so I wouldn't laugh in front of the customers. I don't know who thought this was a good idea, but they should be dragged to death behind a truck.

Too soon, man, too soon [wikipedia.org] .

Microsoft and music (4, Funny)

OzPeter (195038) | about 2 years ago | (#40282799)

I always thought that Microsoft made bad choices for music. For Windows 95 they used the Rolling Stones' Start Me Up, which contains the lyrics :

If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop

Which was fine for an adv. campaign, but then the next line always seemed weird for Microsoft to want to associate with:

You make a grown man cry

Yet in hindsight was amazingly prophetic in the context of Win95 .

Re:Microsoft and music (2)

alen (225700) | about 2 years ago | (#40283027)

i know its been almost 20 years but in those days that little circle in the bottom left of the desktop was a rectangle with the word Start on it. Windows 95 was the first time the Start button saw the light of day and was a big deal in GUI development at the time.

which is why they used that Stones song

Re:Microsoft and music (1)

MrTree (188626) | about 2 years ago | (#40283209)

Microsoft used the Stones because their first choice "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" by R.E.M. was not available, since the band did not want to whore themselves. Something the Stones had no problems with.

Re:Microsoft and music (1)

TapeCutter (624760) | about 2 years ago | (#40283207)

I grew up with the Stones, the last line in that song is "You make a dead man come". It was naughty back then, now they play it in the supermarket while I'm shopping.

Any bigger PR nightmare? (5, Interesting)

mattr (78516) | about 2 years ago | (#40282813)

It could be worse. I discovered a famous furniture company's name means "ass" in Swedish from some engineers who couldn't stop laughing whenever they would see these boxes everywhere. I couldn't find it in the dictionary so it must be colloquial.

I wonder is there a way to search whether a made up brand name matches any word colloquial or not in any of the mainstream languages?

Re:Any bigger PR nightmare? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282981)

Millions of Brits have to stifle a laugh every time they go into an electrical store and see fridges with the word SMEG written on them.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=smeg

Re:Any bigger PR nightmare? (1)

deodiaus2 (980169) | about 2 years ago | (#40283117)

I head that the Chevy Nova sold poorly in the Latio markets. Nova means "No-Go" in Spanish.
Funnier yet, in 1990, Perdue Chicken had a marketing problem in Japan. Their logo, "We sell fresh chicken" got translated by someone who had been away from the day to day culture of Japan. It came across as "It takes a strong man to make chickens fresh". Moreover, the choice of the words strong and fresh had a sexual connotation. Apparently, this commercial had the Japanse rolling around on the floor laughing in uncontrolled hysteria.

I see Microsoft's judgment about what users want.. (1)

gestalt_n_pepper (991155) | about 2 years ago | (#40282837)

extends all the way down to their presentations. What 20-something newly minted "manager" was responsible for that, I wonder?

Re:I see Microsoft's judgment about what users wan (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283005)

Microsoft had nothing to do with it.

Re:I see Microsoft's judgment about what users wan (2)

MickyTheIdiot (1032226) | about 2 years ago | (#40283173)

If your name is associated with it you have something to do with it. Or at least partially responsible.

The fact that didn't pay attention isn't an excuse. Their name will be associated with this because it was part of their event.

The harder they try (5, Insightful)

l0ungeb0y (442022) | about 2 years ago | (#40282843)

The harder Microsoft tries to look cool, the more they look like awkward social retards staring at their feet in the corner of the highschool dance. I'm hard pressed to think of a company with a worse public image -- aside from Haliburton and PG&E, who actually kill people to achieve profit.

This was offensive? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282845)

Stupid and immature maybe. And since when are vaginas supposed to be big and hard?

So... uh... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282853)

What the hell is wrong with these people.

Who in the world thought this was a good idea... You know how many meetings were involved in making this happen? It wasn't zero.. so what the hell is wrong with all those people.... nobody.... nobody with any common sense stood up and said 'no, this is stupid, we're not doing this'. really? all those millions in cash and they can't come up with ONE PERSON with a brain? What the hell...

Re:So... uh... (1)

Dunbal (464142) | about 2 years ago | (#40283159)

This is simple to explain. One idiot eager to please everyone who does the actual work. One power-tripping boss that everyone is afraid of. And several dozen yes-men/women. QED.

it's better than balmer (1)

gl4ss (559668) | about 2 years ago | (#40282855)

not very good though.

sounds like scooter, but 100x worse. why couldn't they just steal some nice chiptune.

WTF would Apple do? (1)

sidevans (66118) | about 2 years ago | (#40282867)

Seriously! I can't even begin to imagine how Apple would put on a, whatever this is... I'm sure the staff will be told they like it as well

Re:WTF would Apple do? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282953)

huhuhuh good one!

it's cool how you decided to get your apple attack on in his microsoft article.

do you cry while you masturbate alone at night, bitter internet puke?

Re:WTF would Apple do? (5, Funny)

vlm (69642) | about 2 years ago | (#40283085)

The good news is the Apple girls would be multi touch enabled, the bad news is only one "button" to play with even if the world standard has always been to ship with two. And they'd be shiny, very shiny.

The band that was "singing" (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282887)

I can't find a reference, but I believe they were Scooter.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scooter_(band)

I think that I speak for everyone when I say, (5, Insightful)

Bender Unit 22 (216955) | about 2 years ago | (#40282903)

Meh....

Lame lyrics and where's the raunchy dance?
Geekwire needs to check up on the state of music videos these days(the uncensored versions). Or maybe not, it will give them a heartattack. :D

OK, so Microsoft confirms that they're just ... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282911)

a bunch of hard pricks and a few twats.

I don't see any issue.

I click on a link for a "raunchy dance routine"... (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282913)

And I get this? Come on, that looked like routine from my junior high talent show, but not as raunchy. This is more blatant headline sensationlism by Slashdot!

But I do so love the ESL lyrics.

Blue Jeans on Fire!
Chevrolet, Elvis!
Blue jeans on fire!
New York, let's go!

Don't put the hipster in charge of presentations (4, Interesting)

crazyjj (2598719) | about 2 years ago | (#40282929)

Every incident like this I've ever been involved with usually began with a staff meeting where everyone thought it would be a great idea to be young and hip by putting the young and hip guy in charge of some presentation. And it usually ended with said young and hip guy explaining why he honestly thought that having someone sing a rendition of "Cop Killer" to a backdrop of nude dancers would be appropriate for a presentation of of the company's annual shareholders' report.

Leave the musical numbers for the Oscars and the comedy skits for SNL. They already do them bad enough without you trying too.

Re:Don't put the s/hip/young/ in charge (1)

cblack (4342) | about 2 years ago | (#40283095)

I think this could be replaced with just "Don't put the young/new person in charge of spicing things up". Hipster is a bit of a charged word, and I think there are plenty that others wouldn't think of as hipsters who would still make this sort of mistake (e.g. recently-graduated frat-bros who used to set up skits that pushed the edge of racism).

But where can I download it? (1)

drewbradford (458480) | about 2 years ago | (#40282949)

I'll admit it... that was the best new software developer techno song that I've heard all year.

Does anyone know where I can download a cut with less background noise?

Watched some (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40282959)

Didn't think it was all that bad. Sure it hurt my ears, but didn't touch my delicate sensibilities.

Looks like (0)

assertation (1255714) | about 2 years ago | (#40282975)

Looks like Microsoft is taking lessons from the General Accounting Office for The United States in regards to convention behavior.

Looks like a number of people haven't gotten the message yet that in 2012 if you behave badly, someone will see it as we live in the internet age and the age of Big Brother.

Dumbasses.

You Need Glasses (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283067)

Yeah, but we don't have your GAO or sensitive nature in Norway, so what do we care?

Re:Looks like (1)

KPU (118762) | about 2 years ago | (#40283131)

You mean the General Services Administration. Unless there's another scandal we should know about. . .

A soft and small VAGINA is okay by me (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283041)

For my hard and large COCK you see

Difference between MS and Apple (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283071)

Notice how many nerds are at the Microsoft party. True Geeks and nerds since no one was dancing, they were to scared of the pretty girls on stage. At an Apple party everyone would be dancing and going YEA!

Big deal (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283079)

Some low-level marketing functionaries pulled a good ol' boy stunt at the partner conference and got canned... similar to the Asus ad with the backside of the girl presenter.

So what.

Here to party? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40283093)

I'm a software developer and I'm here to party????

  It just hit #3 on iTunes

YesMen (1)

bickerdyke (670000) | about 2 years ago | (#40283105)

That sounds like they got caught by a trap laid out by the YesMen. They probably set up an event organizing company as a storefront and waited till someone hired them to pull of that stunt.

Either that, or Monty Python.

Tired of this (5, Insightful)

Dripdry (1062282) | about 2 years ago | (#40283185)

You know what's immature? The fact that we as a culture seem ok with glorifying violence against people, killing and maiming them, but when you use the word "penis" then OMG! horrible! It's not natural Bullshit.

The world would be a happier, healthier place if we just stood up against this nonsense and admit that sex is fine, fun, and healthy. Seriously, who made that headline? Other than a stupid song with some dumb lyrics, who cares? Sure, it doesn't really get across what MS wants, but a "PR Nightmare"? Give me a break.

It's headlines like these that keep perpetuating the controlling and immature notion that sexuality is a sin, punishable by censure or banishment from society. If MS had used a video of the paperclip smacking around then crushing an apple that oozes blood it wouldn't be appropriate but would it be a "PR Nightmare"?

Half-assed, like everything else MS does (0)

davydagger (2566757) | about 2 years ago | (#40283205)

watching the rest of this half-assed video, I was more terrified by the mouthbreather on vocals, recycled beats, and what has to be the worst synth-pop song ever performed. All and all I am not suprised it was made by microsoft. They should have branded it "windows", threatened to sue the videographer for copyright infrigement and called all their critics "communists" and "un-America".

If this is true to microsoft standards, the finnished song which is decent will show up in a bugfix with version 2, 3 years from now.

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