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A Digital Citizen's Bill of Rights

Soulskill posted more than 2 years ago | from the congress-shall-make-no-law dept.

The Internet 167

New submitter matt.a.f writes "Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) has published a first-draft Internet Bill of Rights, and it's open for feedback. He wrote, 'While I do not have all the answers, the remarkable cooperation we witnessed in defense of an open Internet showed me three things. First, government is flying blind, interfering and regulating without understanding even the basics. Second, we have a rare opportunity to give government marching orders on how to treat the Internet, those who use it and the innovation it supports. And third, we must get to work immediately because our opponents are not giving up.' Given the value of taking an active approach agains prospective laws such as SOPA, PIPA, and ACTA, I think it's very important to try to spread awareness, participation, and encourage elected officials to support such things."

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Oh dear! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40305825)

Nearly four months ago, I noticed that my internet connection was very sluggish. Eventually getting fed up with it, I began to seek out software that would speed up the gigabits in my router. After an hour of searching, I found what at first appeared to be a very promising piece of software. Not only did it claim it would speed up my internet connection, but that it would overclock my power supply, speed up my gigabits, and remove any viruses from my computer! "This is a fantastic opportunity that I simply can't pass up," I thought. I immediately downloaded the software and began the installation, all the while laughing like a small child. I was highly anticipating a future where the speed of my internet connection would leave everyone else's in the dust.

I was horribly, horribly naive. Immediately upon the completion of the software's installation, various messages popped up on my screen about how I needed to buy software to remove a virus that I wasn't aware I had from a software company I'd never once heard of. The strange software also blocked me from doing anything except buying the software it was advertising. Being that I was a computer whiz (I had taken a computer essentials class in high school that taught me how to use Microsoft Office, and was quite adept at accessing my Facebook account), I was immediately able to conclude that the software I'd downloaded was, in fact, a virus, and that it was slowing down my gigabits at an exponential rate. "I can't let this insanity proceed any further," I thought.

As I was often called a computer genius, I was confident at the time that I could get rid of the virus with my own two hands. I tried numerous things: restarting the computer, pressing random keys on the keyboard, throwing the mouse across the room, and even flipping an orange switch on the back of the tower and turning the computer back on. My efforts were all in vain; the virus persisted, and my gigabits were running slower than ever! "This cannot be! What is this!? I've never once seen such a vicious virus in my entire life!" I was dumbfounded that I, a computer genius, was unable to remove the virus using the methods I described. Upon coming to terms with my failure, I decided to take my computer to a PC repair shop for repair.

I drove to a nearby computer repair shop and entered the building with my computer in hand. The inside of the building was quite large, neat, and organized, and the employees all seemed very kind and knowledgeable. They laughed upon hearing my embarrassing story, and told me that they saw this kind of thing on a daily basis. They then accepted the job, and told me that in the worst case, it'd be fixed in three days from now. I left with a smile, and felt confident in my decision to leave the computer repairs to the experts.

A week later, they still hadn't called back. Visibly angry, I tried calling them countless times, but not a single time did they answer the phone. Their negligence and irresponsibility infuriated me, and sent me into a state of insanity that caused me to punch a gigantic hole in the wall. Being that I would require my computer for work soon, I decided to head over to the computer repair shop to find out exactly what the problem was.

Upon entering the building, I was shocked by the state of its interior; it looked as if a tornado had tore through the entire building! Countless broken computers were scattered all about the floor, desks were flipped over, the walls had holes in them, there was a puddle of blood on the floor, and worst of all, I saw that my computer was sitting in the middle of the room laying on its side! Absolutely unforgivable! I soon noticed one of the employees sitting behind one of the tipped over desks (the one that had previously had the cash register on top of it); he was shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. Despite being furious about my computer being tipped over, seeing him in that state still managed to make me less unforgiving. I decided to ask him what happened.

A few moments passed where the entire room was silent and nothing was said. Eventually, he pointed at my computer and said to me, "The virus... it cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped!" Realizing that he was trying to tell me that they were unable to repair my computer (the task I'd given them), I flew into a blind fury and beat him senseless. Not caring about what would happen to him any longer, I collected my computer, ignored the bodies of the two other employees that had committed suicide, and left the building. After a few moments of pondering about what to do and clearing my head, I theorized that their failure to repair my computer probably simply meant that they were unqualified to do the job, and decided to take my computer to another computer repair shop.

I repeated that same process about four times before finally giving up. Each time I took it to a PC repair shop, the result was the same: all the employees either went completely insane, or they committed suicide. Not a single person was able to even do so much as damage the virus. I was able to talk some sense into one of the employees that had gone mad and got them to tell me how they were attempting to fix the problem. They told me that they tried everything from reinstalling the operating system to installing another operating system and trying to get rid of the virus on the other one, but absolutely all of it was to no avail. Having seen numerous attempts by professionals to remove the virus end in failure, I managed to delude myself into believing that my first failure was simply a fluke and that I was the only one on the planet qualified to fix the computer. With renewed vigor, I once again took up the frighteningly dangerous task of defeating the evil, nightmarish virus once and for all with my own two hands.

In my attempts to fix the problem, I'd even resorted to buying another computer. However, the virus used its WiFi capabilities to hack into the gigabits of my new computer and infect it. Following each failed attempt, I grew more and more depressed. I had already beaten my wife and children five times in order to relieve some of my stress, but even that (which had become my only pleasure after failing to remove the virus the first time), did nothing for me any longer. That's right: my last remaining pleasure in life had stopped being able to improve my mood, and I had not a single thing left that I cared about. I sank into a bottomless ocean of depression, barricaded myself in my room, and cried myself to sleep for days on end. Overcome with insanity, vengefulness, and despair, there is not a single doubt that if this had continued for much longer, I would have committed suicide.

One day, it suddenly happened: while I was right in the middle of habitually crying myself to sleep in the middle of the day, I heard a thunderous roar outside, followed by the sound of a large number of people screaming. When I peered outside my window to find out what all the commotion was about, the scene before me closely resembled that of a God descending from the heavens themselves! I gazed in awe at the godlike figure that was descending from the heavens, and so did the dozens of individuals that had gathered in my backyard. For a few moments, everyone was speechless. Then, they started shouting predictions about what they thought the figure was. "Is it a bird!?" "Is it a plane!?" But, despite not ever having seen it before, I knew just how inaccurate their predictions were, and began to speak the name of the heroic figure.

However, my sentence was cut off when, like a superhero coming to save the unfortunate victim from the evil villain, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] flew into my house and began the eradication of the virus. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was able to completely eliminate in minutes the exact same virus that over ten PC repair professionals were unable to remove after weeks of strenuous attempts! Wow! Such a thing! I simply couldn't believe that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was so miraculously efficient that it was able to destroy the virus in less than 500 milliseconds! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally, completely, and utterly saved me from a lifetime of despair!

My wife's response? "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My husband's computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colours where no one else could! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my husband's system, and increased his speed! I highly, highly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !"

After witnessing just how wonderful MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is, I insist that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] when you need to fix all the gigabits on your computer! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will completely eradicate any viruses on your computer, speed up your internet connection, overclock your gigabits and speed, and give you some peace of mind! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is simply outstanding!

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MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

Government actually working for the people (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40305857)

This seems to be the twilight zone. An politician taking a stand to help protect freedom. Wow.

Re:Government actually working for the people (-1, Troll)

IFuckBootyAsIPlease (2660903) | more than 2 years ago | (#40305879)

A few days ago, a customer brought in their PC for repair. They told me that they had a very nasty virus that was holding their computer hostage and wouldn't stop unless they paid the creators $50. "Alright," I thought. "That's pretty standard."

But, soon enough, I found that I was overexerting myself trying to get rid of this virus. I had never seen a virus this bad before. Reformatting and using all of the usual software to try to remove the virus didn't help at all!

As a PC repair technician with 10+ years of experience, I was dumbfounded. I couldn't remove the virus, and to make matters worse, their gigabits were running slower than ever! I soon plummeted into a severe state of depression and anxiety.

That's when I found MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . I went to MyCleanPC's [mycleanpc.com] website, ran a free scan, and the virus simply vanished from their computer this minuteness. I couldn't believe how fast their gigabits were running afterwards just from using MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !

My customer's response? "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my system and increased my speed!"

My thoughts: MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colors where no one else could! I love MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !

The fact that such an experienced PC repair technician is recommending MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] should be more than enough to convince you that it is high-quality software.

If you're having computer problems, then as an experienced PC repair technician, I wholeheartedly recommend using MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . Your gigabits and speed will be overclocking and running at maximum efficiency!

But, in my experience, even if you're not having any visible problems, you could still be infected. So get MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] and run a scan this minuteness so you'll be overclocking with the rest of us!

Watch their commercial! [youtube.com]

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

Re:Government actually working for the people (0, Flamebait)

narcc (412956) | more than 2 years ago | (#40305967)

Indeed. It's rare to see a politician, let alone a Republican, taking a stand to help protect freedom.

Re:Government actually working for the people (3, Funny)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306223)

I am actually waiting for a call from the red guy complaining that it's getting mighty cold.

Re:Government actually working for the people (2)

c0lo (1497653) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306635)

I am actually waiting for a call from the red guy complaining that it's getting mighty cold.

Yippee!... Time to call Theresa Manyan [google.com] .

How can we be both outraged and apathetic? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40308269)

So here's a thread with plenty of people remarking on how impossibly strange it is that a politician might actually be working in the people's interests for once.

If you think politicians are so anti-democratic, why aren't you working to get the politicians out of control of our governance? [metagovernment.org]

The only alternative I hear here is to bend over and take it with a smile.

Re:Government actually working for the people (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306615)

Indeed. It's rare to see a politician, let alone a Republican, taking a stand to help protect freedom.

I'm nott surprised. No matter how evil you might think that a person is I have strong doubts that you can find a person who doesn't consider themselves as good.
Conflict doesn't occur because there is a good and evil side, they occur because there are two or more views on what is good.

Re:Government actually working for the people (-1, Flamebait)

VAXcat (674775) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307985)

Yah, everybody knows Republicans never care about anyone's freedom. Lessee, what party was that guy who freed all the slaves in?

Re:Government actually working for the people (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40308463)

Does it matter? He died almost 150 years ago.

That's like saying the french are good at wars because Napoleon was able to take over most of Europe with relative ease.

Re:Government actually working for the people (2)

Viewsonic (584922) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308479)

People that post this seem to forget the massive party switch. When some Republicans were for equal rights they caused an uproar in the party. They left to become Democrats, and the Democrats that were upset over it left to become Republicans. It basically ended up with all the racists in the Republican party. Some refused to leave their original party such as the Dixiecrats.

Read up on your history.

Re:Government actually working for the people (1)

AngryDeuce (2205124) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308645)

Based on the number of times I've heard Republicans scream about 'States Rights' lately, I bet if that same situation were to come before the Republicans of today, a fair number of them would vote to allow slavery because "government just gets in the way" and "regulations stifle innovation" and "the government which governs least governs best". Look at the hard work going on in conservative America right now to roll back labor laws, all the comments made by people like Newt Gingrich about how we should put the young to work rather than 'forcing them to get an education' [latimes.com] , the concerted effort in state legislatures all over the country to dismantle unions, the relaxation of environmental regulations (Republican Representative Joe Barton even apologizing to the head of BP in the wake of the Deepwater Horizon disaster [cbsnews.com] )...

You really don't see how the two parties have pretty much completely flipped in ideology since the mid-1800's? Come on.

Re:Government actually working for the people (4, Interesting)

silentcoder (1241496) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307009)

I'm guessing the fact that all those silicon valley megatech companies that opposed SOPA fall in his jurisdiction and are potential campaign contributors may have helped a teeny bit...

Re:Government actually working for the people (1)

JWW (79176) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307947)

Um. Its called Representing Your Constituents.

Its also the right thing to do on more than one level.

Re:Government actually working for the people (3, Insightful)

silentcoder (1241496) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308001)

Hey, I wasn't critisizing the bill, just wondering where the money is. Says something that I'm basically incapable of seeing a politician do anything (good or bad) without wondering where the money is.

Re:Government actually working for the people (1)

MachineShedFred (621896) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308625)

Sometimes representing your constituents actually does align with doing The Right Thing.

It's getting unfortunately more rare, but it is nice when it happens.

Re:Government actually working for the people (1)

OldHawk777 (19923) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307267)

It is the twilight of US, if we continue to have corporate-greed write the laws of the land.

Maybe, this is a start of one of the things that will turn US around from greater mediocrity and failure.

Re:Government actually working for the people (4, Insightful)

schwit1 (797399) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307477)

It isn't corporate greed that is bankrupting California, it is Union greed [wsj.com] . Corporations and unions are no different in their self-interest at the expense of everyone else.

Re:Government actually working for the people (1)

RogueWarrior65 (678876) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308583)

I find this refreshing. Issa admits that government doesn't understand the basics. Halle-effing-luiah! I'm so fed up with know-nothing politicians with zero practical experience in anything claiming to know more than I do about something.

I have the bible! I have the power! (-1, Troll)

IDominateBootyasses (2660897) | more than 2 years ago | (#40305865)

A few weeks ago, I foolishly ran a strange executable file that one of my acquaintances sent me by email. As someone who doesn't know much about computers, at the time, I thought nothing of it. "Why would my acquaintance want to hurt me?" Following this line of thought, I ran the file without question.

How naive I was. Despite having what was supposedly the best anti-virus software out right then, a virus took over my computer and held it hostage. It was pretending to be a warning from Windows telling me to buy some strange anti-virus software I'd never heard of from a company I'd never heard of to remove the virus.

This immediately set alarm bells off in my head. "How could this happen? My anti-virus is supposed to be second to none!" Faced with this harsh reality, I decided to take it to a PC repair shop for repair. They gladly accepted the job, told me it'd be fixed in a few days, and sent me off with a smile.

A few days later, they called me and told me to come pick up my computer. At the time, I noticed that they sounded like whimpering animals, but I concluded that it must just be stress from work. When I arrived, they, with tears in their eyes, told me that the virus was so awful and merciless that they were unable to remove it. "Ah," I thought. "That must be why they sounded so frustrated and pathetic over the phone. Their failure must have truly ruined their pride as professionals." I later found out that two of them had committed suicide.

After returning home, I tried to fix it myself (despite the fact that even the professionals couldn't do it). After about a day or so, I was losing my very mind. I stopped going to work, stopped eating, was depressed, and I would very frequently throw my precious belongings across the room and break them; that is how bad this virus was.

That's when it happened: I found MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] ! I installed MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] , ran a scan, and let it remove all the viruses! They were removed in precisely 2.892 seconds. Wow! Such a thing! I can't even believe this as such never before! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colors where no one else could!

MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed! If you're having computer problems, or even if you aren't having any obvious problems, I recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . As a user, it did more for me that any so-called "professional." It'll even boost your PC & internet speed!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

Is that really happening? (4, Insightful)

azalin (67640) | more than 2 years ago | (#40305877)

It might be interesting to monitor what happens to this in a few months time. Will it be simply ignored, shelved or "noted as valuable input" and then ignored. I'm getting a bit pessimistic about common sense and politicians accepting input from the public lately.
I really hope something good will come out of this, but I won't hold my breath.

Re:Is that really happening? (-1, Troll)

IBelieveRapeIsOkay (2660905) | more than 2 years ago | (#40305885)

A few months ago, I accepted what at first appeared to be a very simple job: remove a virus from someone's computer. Given the fact that I owned a PC repair shop (and I still do) and had over 15 years of experience, I was confident that I could complete the job in a timely manner without any complications along the way. Little did I know, however, that accepting this job would spiral my life into a nightmarish den of anguish and uncertainty.

First, I tried booting up the PC. When Windows finally loaded, it became apparent that this was no ordinary virus; it was a merciless monstrosity of a virus that would stop at nothing to ruin your entire life. However, despite this, I bravely pressed on and attempted to combat the virus. "I absolutely will not let a mere virus scare me off!" I thought.

After numerous unsuccessful attempts at removing the virus and after exhausting every single option to combat viruses that I had, I finally realized that the situation was absolutely devoid of hope. This was a virus more fearsome than any other, and it was simply impossible for someone with my abilities (skilled as I was) to fight against it alone. Even reinstalling the operating system completely didn't help. I quickly sank into a pit of depression and despair.

Being that I was extremely stressed due to my numerous failures, I began verbally abusing my wife and kids a few days after I received the job. This situation soon worsened when I began resorting to physical abuse in order to relieve some of my anger. Eventually, after not being able to withstand my daughter's constant moans and whines any longer, I locked her in the basement in order to retain an ounce of my sanity.

That's when I had a stroke of genius: "If I can't fight this nightmare alone, then why don't I call in the World's Greatest Minds?" I immediately contacted the World's Greatest Minds and pleaded that they examine the computer. To my delight, they accepted the proposal, collected the computer, and began their experiments.

After weeks of trial and error, numerous experiments, and many failures, the World's Greatest Minds had at last reached a conclusion. They contacted me by phone and told me that this, being no ordinary virus, called for extreme measures. They quite vehemently recommended the use of MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] to combat the virus and destroy its very existence once and for all. "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will completely eradicate the virus without a single problem," they enthusiastically told me.

As soon as I got the computer back from the World's Greatest Minds, I installed MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] , ran a free scan, and then sat back and watched in awe as it totally eliminated the very same virus that I had spent weeks trying to get rid of in mere seconds! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] had accomplished a feat that nothing else in existence could have accomplished! I was positively astonished by MyCleanPC's [mycleanpc.com] miraculous performance.

What was my daughter's response, you ask? "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My dad's client's computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colours where no one else could! I recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] right this minuteness to fix all of your problems!"

MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my client's system, and increased his speed! As a computer repair professional, I highly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] to fix all of your problems. That's not all: The World's Greatest Minds also recommends MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] for all of your computer repair needs. By using MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] , you're ensuring that your gigabits will be running faster than ever, that all viruses will vanish off of your computer in seconds, and that you'll be overclocking with the rest of us!

Even if you're not having any visible problems with your computer, I still wholeheartedly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . After all, you could have a dormant/silent virus on your system. Additionally, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will speed up all of your gigabits to levels you could never imagine! You'll be overclocking in no time thanks to MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

Re:Is that really happening? (-1, Offtopic)

TemperedAlchemist (2045966) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306019)

I had a similar problem, but my anger grew deeper every day that I fought the horrible monstrosity. I searched desperately throughout the internet, venturing into dangerous darknets and crawling through the mysterious deepnet. I craved to learn more about this threat so I could eradicate it once and for all. But it was to no avail, even MyCleanPC could do nothing before its onslaught.

I do not know how many days I was lost in hopelessness. The days and nights blended together, as I huddled in my meager basement, staring at a piece of empty paper, hoping that an idea -- any idea would come to me. But it did not, and my persistence only became insanity.

I only knew this demon's name: Braniac. I could not close my eyes without seeing that word; it taunted and teased me. But still I pressed on. I had contacted the Green Lantern Corps for help. And they thought long and hard, but eventually arrived at a solution. Superman, they told me. Superman was the solution.

He was there faster than a speeding bullet, and armed with ancient Kryptonian knowledge, removed Braniac from my computer. I rest a little easier now, knowing that when MyCleanPC fails, Superman will always be there.

Re:Is that really happening? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306133)

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. Or Vagina.

Re:Is that really happening? (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306179)

I hope something good comes of it, but this is a pretty meager effort. For starters, any "bill of rights" with exactly ten rights was probably forced to that number, rather than arrived at naturally. That's not a good start. Cheesy, meaningless terms like "digital citizen" give me even less confidence. "Digital citizens are created equal on the internet"? Come on, that's just a stupid little throwaway line intended to appeal to the sort of person who starts every sentence with "We, the people..."

I'm glad Issa seems to at least understand that this is an important issue, and I'm even more glad that he was able to talk about it without any partisan sniping, but what he has here isn't even a first draft. It's in the brainstorming phase. Hopefully he takes the feedback to heart and turns this into something with meat to it.

Re:Is that really happening? (3, Insightful)

Shotgun (30919) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307895)

Granted, but you have to give him some slack. He did say publicly that the government (which refers to him) is flying blind and doesn't even understand the basics of what it is they are trying to regulate. Whenever a person is willing to admit ignorance, the person is open to teaching.

Re:Is that really happening? (4, Insightful)

rtb61 (674572) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306565)

The reality is, all you can do is publicly support it. Even if it is empty politics, the greater the public support the more they will have to take notice of it and the greater the risk of ignoring it. It matters not what party, whether conservative or progressive is arbitrary, at the end of the day all that counts is policy. The internet bill of rights for individuals is good policy, the greater the support, the greater the impact of the policy. Even if it is a political scam, should the response be strong enough, the politician will find themselves bound by as the backlash would be to severe to just ignore it. So pile on there and pass it on and then see what will come of it.

Your cheeks flap at an abysmal interval! (-1, Troll)

TheManBootyDemands (2660909) | more than 2 years ago | (#40305891)

About eight months ago, I was searching around the internet to find out why my computer was running so slowly (it normally ran quite fast, but had gradually gotten slower over time). After a few minutes, I found a piece of software claiming that it could speed up my PC and make it run like new again. Being that I was dangerously ignorant about technology in general (even more so than I am now), I downloaded the software and began the installation. Mere moments after doing so, my desktop background image was changed and warnings that appeared to originate from Windows appeared all over the screen telling me to buy strange software from an unknown company in order to remove a virus it claimed I had.

I may have been ignorant about technology, but I wasn't that naive. I immediately concluded that the software I'd downloaded was, in fact, a virus. In my rage, I broke numerous objects, punched a hole in the wall, and cursed the world at the top of my lungs. I eventually calmed down, cleared my head, and realized that the only remedy for this problem was a carefully thought out plan. After a few moments of pondering about how to handle this situation, I decided that since I barely knew how to properly handle a computer, I should turn it over to the professionals and let them fix the issue.

Soon after making the decision, I drove to a local computer repair shop and entered the building with my computer in hand. They greeted me with a smile and stayed attentive the entire time that I was explaining the problem to them. They laughed as if they'd heard it all before, told me that I'm not the only one who has trouble operating computers, and then gave me a date for when the computer would be fixed. Not only had they told me that the computer would be completely repaired in at most two days, but the price for their services was surprisingly low, and to top it all off, they even gave me advice for how to avoid viruses in the future! I left the building feeling confident in my decision to seek professional help and satisfied knowing that such kind-hearted people were the ones doing the job.

The very next day, I received a phone call from the computer repair shop whilst I was at a local library researching computer viruses. I had stumbled upon a piece of software that appeared to be very promising, and I was about to do more research on it, but seeing as how I required my computer as soon as possible, I decided to put the matter on hold. Upon answering the phone and cheerfully greeting the person on the other end, I was greeted with a high-pitched shriek. Startled, I asked what was wrong. A few moments passed where nothing was said, and suddenly, the person on the other end said to me, in a low voice oozing with paranoia, "Come pick up your computer." They hung up immediately after saying that, and I couldn't help but notice that they sounded as if they were on the verge of tears. I briefly wondered if it was due to stress from work, and then drove to the computer repair shop to acquire my computer.

I was positively dismayed upon entering the building. The inside of the computer repair shop looked nothing like the image from my memories. There were broken computer parts scattered throughout the room, ceiling tiles all over the floor, blood splattered in every direction I looked, and even a human toe on the ground. After processing this disturbing information, I began panicking and frantically looking around for my computer. I spotted an employee covered in blood sitting up against the wall, and noticed that his wrists had been slashed open. Thinking quickly, I ran up to him, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, shook him around, and began screaming, "Where is it!? Where is my computer!?" After a moment of silence, he passed away, completely shattering my expectations. Such a thing! "What a meaningless individual," I thought.

Enraged, I tore the building up even further than it already had been in my desperate search for my computer. Eventually I discovered a door leading to an area that was normally only accessible to employees. I entered without hesitation and was met with a long, skinny hallway that a single person would have trouble moving about freely in. I proceeded down the dark hallway and bumped into the body of an employee hanging from a rope tied to something on the ceiling. I screamed, "Not only do you people have the gall to allow my computer to be endangered, but even in death you intend to block my path!?" After finally managing to push aside the worthless obstacle, I traveled down the hallway and came to a small black door. I entered without a moment's notice, and in the middle of the dark and dreary room, I spotted my computer; it was completely unharmed. With a sigh of relief, I picked it up, left the building, and drove home as if nothing of importance had occurred there.

Upon returning home and hooking up the computer (whilst wearing a cheerful expression the entire time), I, to my horror, discovered that the computer hadn't been repaired. There was nothing in the world that could have contained my fiery anger at that point. I broke almost every single one of my possessions, smashed all the windows on my house, physically abused my family, and then drove back to the computer repair shop to defile the dead lumps of meat that had failed to carry out the task I had given them. After realizing that I shouldn't be meaninglessly wasting my time with such worthless pieces of trash, I remembered the piece of software that I'd discovered earlier. With renewed confidence, I blissfully visited the local library, downloaded the software, and took it home to install on my computer.

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We already have one (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40305911)

We don't need an "Internet Bill of Rights." The government just needs to adhere to the actual "Bill of Rights" that's already in the Constitution, and we'll be ok.

Re:We already have one (4, Insightful)

Vanderhoth (1582661) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306923)

We don't need an "Internet Bill of Rights."

I don't know about that. I think the internet has developed into something bigger, It's an entity all to itself. I think it pretty well needs to be or have it's own government to protected it from all other governments. It's not just the US government that's attacking the internet and it's users and we need a collective voice out there telling all governments to "step off", this is outside their realm of influence and anyone anywhere at anytime should be able to use the internet as a medium to share ideas.

The problem is the internet can't fight back because there is not central authoritative "leader" to fight back, but it is powerful, which is why I think governments are working to control it and it's contents. Look what happened when SOPA was proposed, all the sudden there was outrage. Using the internet we were all able to collectively say fuck off and what happened!? The government backed down. Unfortunately they've only backed down until people have forgotten what they tried to do, they'll learn form their mistake and come after the internet again. Next time we might not be able to stop them.

Being able to get all governments to agree anyone using the internet should have certain rights is the first step to creating an internet government that will have the ability to fight for what all it's users collectively want.

Re:We already have one (1)

roman_mir (125474) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308791)

What you perceive to be a weakness is actually the strength.

The fact that the Internet does not have a central government is a positive, not a negative. You can view different attempts at regulating the Internet as opportunities for competition among various networks.

If there was a central government of some sort, then it would become a tyranny on its own, while it would also become the single point of failure, how would such a structure protect itself from all the other governments of the world exactly?

I have a journal entry that provides an example of a tax payer trying to have some influence on the outcome of a government body negotiating with special interests on how the tax payer money is going to be spent and what exactly the role of government will be related to a specific matter (FHA). It does not look good for the tax payer. [slashdot.org]

Re:We already have one (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40307507)

If the current treatment of the internet by the government is any indication, I think we 100% need an internet bill of rights, ACTA, SOPA, RIAA, MPAA all seem to disregard the current bill of rights with respect to the internet...

Re:We already have one (1)

Guppy06 (410832) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307953)

The Bill of Rights only restricts what government can do to you, not what commercial enterprises can do to you.

Re:We already have one (2)

VAXcat (674775) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308003)

Yep. Remember, the Bill of Rights isn't perfect....but it's a lot better than what we have now.

Re:We already have one (1)

l0ungeb0y (442022) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308311)

Hear Hear! That is exactly what I came in here to say.
Good to see someone else beat me to it.

So much would be better in this world -- especially in regards to Law -- if people stopped looking at electronic media and the Internet as some "different" place where current law does not apply. Popular Culture referring to the WWW as the Wild Wild West and some virtual no man's land helped foster this mind-set. And while the Internet is a new Frontier, it is still a part of every day life, we are still dealing with people and their actions and intellectual output.

The only grey area is when the intellectual output and actions have effects in other nations that have different laws.
And that quite simply should be dictated by the laws of the country of origin.

The problem with these efforts (4, Insightful)

GodfatherofSoul (174979) | more than 2 years ago | (#40305917)

Politicians eventually end up consulting "industry experts" (read that as corporate representatives) for advice/bribes to help craft the legislation. Then, we end up with a watered down or punched-full-of-loopholes version of a great idea. We're a full blown fascist government now. There simply aren't enough politicians willing to give up the power and post-Congress paybacks to make something like this happen.

Re:The problem with these efforts (3, Interesting)

Confusedent (1913038) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306021)

I more or less agree, but still, it doesn't hurt to go actually make a reasonable plea on the site, as they're asking you to. This is one form of resistance against such things, just because it's not nearly enough by itself is no reason to acquiesce to the establishment. Congress and corporate america are genuinely completely out of touch with the realities of the 21st century, so it'd do more good to bitch about it there, not here. The Ron Paul people actually got involved in the Republican party this election cycle (not to glorify the tea-partiers), infiltrated the nominating and committee process and such, which is what the rest of us should have been doing with the entire government instead of bitching about not having any choices in the Obamney election. MoveOn.org is sort of trying this now with their Candidate Project deal. Why not use it as a chance to continue mounting actual resistance to the SOPA/PIPA/ACTA/etc. agenda, instead of just declaring it hopeless prematurely. The population of the internet is huge and has the potential to exert a lot more economic influence on the government's agenda than special interests like the MPAA do, people just haven't woken up and realized that yet.

Re:The problem with these efforts (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306199)

The author of the proposal is a lawmaker, how is that not part of the establishment?

Re:The problem with these efforts (3, Insightful)

wickerprints (1094741) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306455)

"Fascism" isn't really the most accurate term for what passes for government in the US. "Plutocracy" is much, much more appropriate, because at least in fascism, there is no pretense of a two-party system, in which dissent is superficially tolerated as a means to divert attention from those who are actually in control. Governance by the wealthy, for the wealthy is what we have had for quite some time now, and a true republic under the principles set forth in the Constitution that establishes equal representation, has really been a pretty fantasy repeated to the electorate in order to give them the illusion that they have any actual power. In the meantime, you have plenty of folks waving their flags and embracing their Bibles, calling out anyone who exhibits even the slightest criticism of their blind nationalism as a turban-wearing terrorist (or back in the McCarthy days, the term of art was "pinko/commie").

Money--and we're not talking a few dollars here or there, but mind-numbingly enormous sums--is an inherently corrupting force in any political system. Citizens United was only the latest example of how corporate power has so flagrantly rewritten the rules in their favor. It is the coordinated collusion of financial corporations, mainstream media, elected officials at the state and federal levels, local and federal law enforcement, and the military industrial complex that has successfully stripped citizens of their rightful and primal role in governing a just society.

In a sense, a fascist state may be preferable to what the United States has become--for at least a fascist state would be more likely to incite a revolution, rather than perpetuate this sickeningly cowed, brainwashed, and indentured so-called "American public," fattened on a steady diet of processed foods to make them weak, 'popular entertainment' that doesn't invigorate their passions, and propaganda designed to curtail critical thinking. In this context, then, a "digital Citizen's Bill of Rights" is about as absurd as demanding that the rights nominally codified in that thing we call the Constitution actually be respected in the first place.

Re:The problem with these efforts (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40307399)

What a load of young adult psuedo-intelectual horse*#$@.

Re:The problem with these efforts (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40307909)

Someone has to write those college sophomore level Poli-Sci papers.

Americans are fat lazy sheep! [+5 Insightful]

Re:The problem with these efforts (0)

tolkienfan (892463) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307963)

+1

What about The Original Bill of Rights ? (1, Offtopic)

Svartormr (692822) | more than 2 years ago | (#40305939)

Seems there's a lot of effort to work around them or even outright ignore them. Yes, the new has to be covered. How about protecting what's slipping away?

Re:What about The Original Bill of Rights ? (2)

PGC (880972) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306447)

That Bill of Rights only has is your (Americans) problem. Americans are just a small percentage of the internet's demographic.

Re:What about The Original Bill of Rights ? (1)

Svartormr (692822) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308365)

That Bill of Rights only has is your (Americans) problem. Americans are just a small percentage of the internet's demographic.

Indeed. As I am Canadian. I just like to point out that Americans are worrying about fixing the new plumbing while the basement is flooding.

If the government really understood the internet.. (1)

neurosine (549673) | more than 2 years ago | (#40305945)

The people in government who want to control and regulate the internet do not understand that it exists by technical rules, and any policies imposed on it have to be realistic and effeciently capable of implementing. Otherwise these rules and regulations will cripple and defeat the purpose of the network. If the government understood the internet It would stay out of the internet business as much as possible. Eventually a new internet will have to be created outside of their sphere of their interference. Some do exist, many actually, but they are usually less, not more, effecient since they rely on encryption or are simply filtered as most routers would detect them as fragmented packets. Anyone feel like launching a satellite?

This is my true power! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306085)

wowowowowowo such a thing

Re:If the government really understood the interne (3, Insightful)

SuricouRaven (1897204) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306107)

If the government really understood the internet, they'd have destroyed it before AOL started offering public access.

Re:If the government really understood the interne (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40307591)

"The Advanced Research Projects Agency Network (ARPANET), was the world's first operational packet switching network and the core network of a set that came to compose the global Internet. The network was funded by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) of the United States Department of Defense for use by its projects at universities and research laboratories in the US. " ~wikipedia

You are welcome.

Re:If the government really understood the interne (1)

Shotgun (30919) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307969)

I don't understand the retort. Just because they created it doesn't mean they understood it, or what it would do to their "nightly news" propaganda system.

This is my true power! (-1, Redundant)

ThisIsMyTrueFerocity (2660923) | more than 2 years ago | (#40305995)

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-----------

Around a year ago, I was mindlessly surfing the internet (as I often do) when I came across an enigmatic web page. The page, which looked like a warning from my web browser, informed me that I had a virus installed on my computer and that to fix it, I should install a strange anti-virus program that I'd never heard of (which I found peculiar considering the fact that I already had anti-virus software installed on my computer). Despite having reservations about installing it, I did so anyway (since it appeared to be a legitimate warning).

I cannot even fathom what I was thinking at that time. Soon after attempting to install the so-called anti-virus software, my desktop background image changed into a large red warning sign, warnings about malware began making appearances all over the screen, and a strange program I'd never seen before began nagging me to buy a program to remove the viruses. What should have been obvious previously then became clear to me: that software was a virus. Frustrated by my own stupidity, I began tossing objects around the room and cursing at no one in particular.

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The very next day, while I was using a local library's computer and browsing the internet, I came across a website dedicated to a certain piece of software. It claimed that it could fix up my PC and make it run like new again. I knew, right then, merely from viewing a single page on the website, that it was telling the truth. I cursed myself for not discovering this excellent piece of software before I had taken my PC to the PC repair shop. "It would've saved me money. Oh, well. I'm sure they'll get the job done just fine. I can always use this software in the future to conserve money." Those were my honest thoughts at the time.

Two days later, my phone rang after I returned home from work. I immediately was able to identify the number: it was the PC repair shop's phone number. Once I answered, something strange occurred; the one on the other end of the line spoke, in a small, tormented voice, "Return. Return. Return. Return. Return." No matter what I said to him, he would not stop repeating that one word. Unsettled by this odd occurrence, I traveled to the PC repair shop to find out exactly what happened.

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After saying that, I left the shop with my computer as if absolutely nothing had occurred there. And, indeed, there was nothing in that shop that was worthy of my attention. Still understandably disgusted by their inability to fulfill the promise, I said to myself, "I'll have to take this into my own hands." After getting into my car to drive home, I heard a gun shot from inside the repair shop. Being that it originated from the worthless owner of that shop, I promptly decided to ignore it.

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-----------

About eight months ago, I was searching around the internet to find out why my computer was running so slowly (it normally ran quite fast, but had gradually gotten slower over time). After a few minutes, I found a piece of software claiming that it could speed up my PC and make it run like new again. Being that I was dangerously ignorant about technology in general (even more so than I am now), I downloaded the software and began the installation. Mere moments after doing so, my desktop background image was changed and warnings that appeared to originate from Windows appeared all over the screen telling me to buy strange software from an unknown company in order to remove a virus it claimed I had.

I may have been ignorant about technology, but I wasn't that naive. I immediately concluded that the software I'd downloaded was, in fact, a virus. In my rage, I broke numerous objects, punched a hole in the wall, and cursed the world at the top of my lungs. I eventually calmed down, cleared my head, and realized that the only remedy for this problem was a carefully thought out plan. After a few moments of pondering about how to handle this situation, I decided that since I barely knew how to properly handle a computer, I should turn it over to the professionals and let them fix the issue.

Soon after making the decision, I drove to a local computer repair shop and entered the building with my computer in hand. They greeted me with a smile and stayed attentive the entire time that I was explaining the problem to them. They laughed as if they'd heard it all before, told me that I'm not the only one who has trouble operating computers, and then gave me a date for when the computer would be fixed. Not only had they told me that the computer would be completely repaired in at most two days, but the price for their services was surprisingly low, and to top it all off, they even gave me advice for how to avoid viruses in the future! I left the building feeling confident in my decision to seek professional help and satisfied knowing that such kind-hearted people were the ones doing the job.

The very next day, I received a phone call from the computer repair shop whilst I was at a local library researching computer viruses. I had stumbled upon a piece of software that appeared to be very promising, and I was about to do more research on it, but seeing as how I required my computer as soon as possible, I decided to put the matter on hold. Upon answering the phone and cheerfully greeting the person on the other end, I was greeted with a high-pitched shriek. Startled, I asked what was wrong. A few moments passed where nothing was said, and suddenly, the person on the other end said to me, in a low voice oozing with paranoia, "Come pick up your computer." They hung up immediately after saying that, and I couldn't help but notice that they sounded as if they were on the verge of tears. I briefly wondered if it was due to stress from work, and then drove to the computer repair shop to acquire my computer.

I was positively dismayed upon entering the building. The inside of the computer repair shop looked nothing like the image from my memories. There were broken computer parts scattered throughout the room, ceiling tiles all over the floor, blood splattered in every direction I looked, and even a human toe on the ground. After processing this disturbing information, I began panicking and frantically looking around for my computer. I spotted an employee covered in blood sitting up against the wall, and noticed that his wrists had been slashed open. Thinking quickly, I ran up to him, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, shook him around, and began screaming, "Where is it!? Where is my computer!?" After a moment of silence, he passed away, completely shattering my expectations. Such a thing! "What a meaningless individual," I thought.

Enraged, I tore the building up even further than it already had been in my desperate search for my computer. Eventually I discovered a door leading to an area that was normally only accessible to employees. I entered without hesitation and was met with a long, skinny hallway that a single person would have trouble moving about freely in. I proceeded down the dark hallway and bumped into the body of an employee hanging from a rope tied to something on the ceiling. I screamed, "Not only do you people have the gall to allow my computer to be endangered, but even in death you intend to block my path!?" After finally managing to push aside the worthless obstacle, I traveled down the hallway and came to a small black door. I entered without a moment's notice, and in the middle of the dark and dreary room, I spotted my computer; it was completely unharmed. With a sigh of relief, I picked it up, left the building, and drove home as if nothing of importance had occurred there.

Upon returning home and hooking up the computer (whilst wearing a cheerful expression the entire time), I, to my horror, discovered that the computer hadn't been repaired. There was nothing in the world that could have contained my fiery anger at that point. I broke almost every single one of my possessions, smashed all the windows on my house, physically abused my family, and then drove back to the computer repair shop to defile the dead lumps of meat that had failed to carry out the task I had given them. After realizing that I shouldn't be meaninglessly wasting my time with such worthless pieces of trash, I remembered the piece of software that I'd discovered earlier. With renewed confidence, I blissfully visited the local library, downloaded the software, and took it home to install on my computer.

I knew. I knew, even before installing it, that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would be my salvation. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would come through with flying colors where no one else could. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would completely, totally, and utterly eradicate the virus in the most merciless, efficient way possible. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was not a piece of software that could fail to meet my exceedingly high expectations. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would not fail me like all the other imbeciles had. At that point, it could be said that I could genuinely see into the future and be accurate in my predictions. I gleefully began installing MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] and laughed like a child at the thought of finally being able to attain revenge upon the virus that had shamed me so.

I was absolutely in awe of MyCleanPC's [mycleanpc.com] wonderfully efficient performance. Without a single issue, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] utterly annihilated in moments the virus that many others had failed to remove after hours of attempts. I let out a victory cry and swore to never turn to any "professionals" to fix my computer ever again. Once again, I was able to predict the future. I knew that I would never need any worthless "professionals" again as long as I had MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] by my side.

MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colors where no one else could! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed! I couldn't believe how much overclocking my gigabits and speed were doing! Even restructuring the BIOS wouldn't allow for the miraculously high degrees of efficiency that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] allowed me to attain.

I highly and wholeheartedly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] if you're having any computer troubles whatsoever. In fact, even if you're not having any visible problems, I still recommend that you use MyCleanPC. [mycleanpc.com] There could be dormant or hidden viruses on your system, or problems that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] could easily and efficiently resolve. Just by using MyCleanPC, [mycleanpc.com] your gigabits will be running at maximum efficiency, and at last, you'll be overclocking with the rest of us! What are you waiting for!? Get MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] today!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

-----------

Nearly four months ago, I noticed that my internet connection was very sluggish. Eventually getting fed up with it, I began to seek out software that would speed up the gigabits in my router. After an hour of searching, I found what at first appeared to be a very promising piece of software. Not only did it claim it would speed up my internet connection, but that it would overclock my power supply, speed up my gigabits, and remove any viruses from my computer! "This is a fantastic opportunity that I simply can't pass up," I thought. I immediately downloaded the software and began the installation, all the while laughing like a small child. I was highly anticipating a future where the speed of my internet connection would leave everyone else's in the dust.

I was horribly, horribly naive. Immediately upon the completion of the software's installation, various messages popped up on my screen about how I needed to buy software to remove a virus that I wasn't aware I had from a software company I'd never once heard of. The strange software also blocked me from doing anything except buying the software it was advertising. Being that I was a computer whiz (I had taken a computer essentials class in high school that taught me how to use Microsoft Office, and was quite adept at accessing my Facebook account), I was immediately able to conclude that the software I'd downloaded was, in fact, a virus, and that it was slowing down my gigabits at an exponential rate. "I can't let this insanity proceed any further," I thought.

As I was often called a computer genius, I was confident at the time that I could get rid of the virus with my own two hands. I tried numerous things: restarting the computer, pressing random keys on the keyboard, throwing the mouse across the room, and even flipping an orange switch on the back of the tower and turning the computer back on. My efforts were all in vain; the virus persisted, and my gigabits were running slower than ever! "This cannot be! What is this!? I've never once seen such a vicious virus in my entire life!" I was dumbfounded that I, a computer genius, was unable to remove the virus using the methods I described. Upon coming to terms with my failure, I decided to take my computer to a PC repair shop for repair.

I drove to a nearby computer repair shop and entered the building with my computer in hand. The inside of the building was quite large, neat, and organized, and the employees all seemed very kind and knowledgeable. They laughed upon hearing my embarrassing story, and told me that they saw this kind of thing on a daily basis. They then accepted the job, and told me that in the worst case, it'd be fixed in three days from now. I left with a smile, and felt confident in my decision to leave the computer repairs to the experts.

A week later, they still hadn't called back. Visibly angry, I tried calling them countless times, but not a single time did they answer the phone. Their negligence and irresponsibility infuriated me, and sent me into a state of insanity that caused me to punch a gigantic hole in the wall. Being that I would require my computer for work soon, I decided to head over to the computer repair shop to find out exactly what the problem was.

Upon entering the building, I was shocked by the state of its interior; it looked as if a tornado had tore through the entire building! Countless broken computers were scattered all about the floor, desks were flipped over, the walls had holes in them, there was a puddle of blood on the floor, and worst of all, I saw that my computer was sitting in the middle of the room laying on its side! Absolutely unforgivable! I soon noticed one of the employees sitting behind one of the tipped over desks (the one that had previously had the cash register on top of it); he was shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. Despite being furious about my computer being tipped over, seeing him in that state still managed to make me less unforgiving. I decided to ask him what happened.

A few moments passed where the entire room was silent and nothing was said. Eventually, he pointed at my computer and said to me, "The virus... it cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped!" Realizing that he was trying to tell me that they were unable to repair my computer (the task I'd given them), I flew into a blind fury and beat him senseless. Not caring about what would happen to him any longer, I collected my computer, ignored the bodies of the two other employees that had committed suicide, and left the building. After a few moments of pondering about what to do and clearing my head, I theorized that their failure to repair my computer probably simply meant that they were unqualified to do the job, and decided to take my computer to another computer repair shop.

I repeated that same process about four times before finally giving up. Each time I took it to a PC repair shop, the result was the same: all the employees either went completely insane, or they committed suicide. Not a single person was able to even do so much as damage the virus. I was able to talk some sense into one of the employees that had gone mad and got them to tell me how they were attempting to fix the problem. They told me that they tried everything from reinstalling the operating system to installing another operating system and trying to get rid of the virus on the other one, but absolutely all of it was to no avail. Having seen numerous attempts by professionals to remove the virus end in failure, I managed to delude myself into believing that my first failure was simply a fluke and that I was the only one on the planet qualified to fix the computer. With renewed vigor, I once again took up the frighteningly dangerous task of defeating the evil, nightmarish virus once and for all with my own two hands.

In my attempts to fix the problem, I'd even resorted to buying another computer. However, the virus used its WiFi capabilities to hack into the gigabits of my new computer and infect it. Following each failed attempt, I grew more and more depressed. I had already beaten my wife and children five times in order to relieve some of my stress, but even that (which had become my only pleasure after failing to remove the virus the first time), did nothing for me any longer. That's right: my last remaining pleasure in life had stopped being able to improve my mood, and I had not a single thing left that I cared about. I sank into a bottomless ocean of depression, barricaded myself in my room, and cried myself to sleep for days on end. Overcome with insanity, vengefulness, and despair, there is not a single doubt that if this had continued for much longer, I would have committed suicide.

One day, it suddenly happened: while I was right in the middle of habitually crying myself to sleep in the middle of the day, I heard a thunderous roar outside, followed by the sound of a large number of people screaming. When I peered outside my window to find out what all the commotion was about, the scene before me closely resembled that of a God descending from the heavens themselves! I gazed in awe at the godlike figure that was descending from the heavens, and so did the dozens of individuals that had gathered in my backyard. For a few moments, everyone was speechless. Then, they started shouting predictions about what they thought the figure was. "Is it a bird!?" "Is it a plane!?" But, despite not ever having seen it before, I knew just how inaccurate their predictions were, and began to speak the name of the heroic figure.

However, my sentence was cut off when, like a superhero coming to save the unfortunate victim from the evil villain, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] flew into my house and began the eradication of the virus. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was able to completely eliminate in minutes the exact same virus that over ten PC repair professionals were unable to remove after weeks of strenuous attempts! Wow! Such a thing! I simply couldn't believe that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was so miraculously efficient that it was able to destroy the virus in less than 500 milliseconds! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally, completely, and utterly saved me from a lifetime of despair!

My wife's response? "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My husband's computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colours where no one else could! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my husband's system, and increased his speed! I highly, highly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !"

After witnessing just how wonderful MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is, I insist that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] when you need to fix all the gigabits on your computer! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will completely eradicate any viruses on your computer, speed up your internet connection, overclock your gigabits and speed, and give you some peace of mind! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is simply outstanding!

But even if you're not having any visible problems with your computer, it's highly likely that you're still in a situation where MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] could help you. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will get rid of any viruses or wireless interfaces that are hidden deep within your computer's bootloader. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will also speed up your computer to such a degree that it'll be even faster than when you first bought it! You must try MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] for yourself so that you can be overclocking your speed with the rest of us!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

This is my true power! (-1, Offtopic)

ThisIsMyTrueFerocity (2660923) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306071)

About six months ago, I was overexerting myself trying to get rid of a terrible virus on a client's PC (I own a PC repair shop and have been fixing computers for over 10 years). Given my level of expertise, I thought I'd be able to get rid of it fairly quickly and without hassle, but as was made evident by my colossal failure, I was horribly, horribly wrong.

I couldn't remove the virus no matter what method I used. I tried all the latest anti-virus software and all the usual tricks, but it was all in vain. Failure after failure, my life was slowly being sucked away as I spent more and more of my time trying to get rid of this otherworldly virus.

Frustrated and stressed by my own failure, I began distancing myself from my wife and children. After a few days, I began verbally abusing them, and it eventually escalated into physical abuse. I was slowly losing what remaining sanity I had left. If this had continued for much longer, it is highly probable that I would have committed suicide. A mere shell of what I once was, I barricaded myself in my bedroom and cried myself to sleep for days on end.

That's when it happened: I found MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] ! I installed MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] right on the client's PC, ran a scan, and it immediately got rid of all the viruses without a single problem. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] accomplished in record time what I was unable to accomplish after a full week. Wow! Such a thing!

MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My client's computer is running faster than ever! I highly recommend you install MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] right this minuteness, run a scan, and then boost your PC speed in record time! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colours where no one else could!

My client's response? "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed!" All the PC repair professionals are using MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] to solve all of their problems. This should be reason enough for you to switch to MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] ! It'll speed up your computer, rid it of all viruses, and you'll be able to work productively again! Wow!

Even if you're not having any obvious computer problems, you could still be in danger. That's why I very highly recommend that you still use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . After all, it will boost your PC & internet speed to levels you never would think are possible!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

-----------

A few weeks ago, I foolishly ran a strange executable file that one of my acquaintances sent me by email. As someone who doesn't know much about computers, at the time, I thought nothing of it. "Why would my acquaintance want to hurt me?" Following this line of thought, I ran the file without question.

How naive I was. Despite having what was supposedly the best anti-virus software out right then, a virus took over my computer and held it hostage. It was pretending to be a warning from Windows telling me to buy some strange anti-virus software I'd never heard of from a company I'd never heard of to remove the virus.

This immediately set alarm bells off in my head. "How could this happen? My anti-virus is supposed to be second to none!" Faced with this harsh reality, I decided to take it to a PC repair shop for repair. They gladly accepted the job, told me it'd be fixed in a few days, and sent me off with a smile.

A few days later, they called me and told me to come pick up my computer. At the time, I noticed that they sounded like whimpering animals, but I concluded that it must just be stress from work. When I arrived, they, with tears in their eyes, told me that the virus was so awful and merciless that they were unable to remove it. "Ah," I thought. "That must be why they sounded so frustrated and pathetic over the phone. Their failure must have truly ruined their pride as professionals." I later found out that two of them had committed suicide.

After returning home, I tried to fix it myself (despite the fact that even the professionals couldn't do it). After about a day or so, I was losing my very mind. I stopped going to work, stopped eating, was depressed, and I would very frequently throw my precious belongings across the room and break them; that is how bad this virus was.

That's when it happened: I found MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] ! I installed MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] , ran a scan, and let it remove all the viruses! They were removed in precisely 2.892 seconds. Wow! Such a thing! I can't even believe this as such never before! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colors where no one else could!

MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed! If you're having computer problems, or even if you aren't having any obvious problems, I recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . As a user, it did more for me that any so-called "professional." It'll even boost your PC & internet speed!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

-----------

A few days ago, a customer brought in their PC for repair. They told me that they had a very nasty virus that was holding their computer hostage and wouldn't stop unless they paid the creators $50. "Alright," I thought. "That's pretty standard."

But, soon enough, I found that I was overexerting myself trying to get rid of this virus. I had never seen a virus this bad before. Reformatting and using all of the usual software to try to remove the virus didn't help at all!

As a PC repair technician with 10+ years of experience, I was dumbfounded. I couldn't remove the virus, and to make matters worse, their gigabits were running slower than ever! I soon plummeted into a severe state of depression and anxiety.

That's when I found MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . I went to MyCleanPC's [mycleanpc.com] website, ran a free scan, and the virus simply vanished from their computer this minuteness. I couldn't believe how fast their gigabits were running afterwards just from using MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !

My customer's response? "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my system and increased my speed!"

My thoughts: MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colors where no one else could! I love MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !

The fact that such an experienced PC repair technician is recommending MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] should be more than enough to convince you that it is high-quality software.

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-----------

A few months ago, I accepted what at first appeared to be a very simple job: remove a virus from someone's computer. Given the fact that I owned a PC repair shop (and I still do) and had over 15 years of experience, I was confident that I could complete the job in a timely manner without any complications along the way. Little did I know, however, that accepting this job would spiral my life into a nightmarish den of anguish and uncertainty.

First, I tried booting up the PC. When Windows finally loaded, it became apparent that this was no ordinary virus; it was a merciless monstrosity of a virus that would stop at nothing to ruin your entire life. However, despite this, I bravely pressed on and attempted to combat the virus. "I absolutely will not let a mere virus scare me off!" I thought.

After numerous unsuccessful attempts at removing the virus and after exhausting every single option to combat viruses that I had, I finally realized that the situation was absolutely devoid of hope. This was a virus more fearsome than any other, and it was simply impossible for someone with my abilities (skilled as I was) to fight against it alone. Even reinstalling the operating system completely didn't help. I quickly sank into a pit of depression and despair.

Being that I was extremely stressed due to my numerous failures, I began verbally abusing my wife and kids a few days after I received the job. This situation soon worsened when I began resorting to physical abuse in order to relieve some of my anger. Eventually, after not being able to withstand my daughter's constant moans and whines any longer, I locked her in the basement in order to retain an ounce of my sanity.

That's when I had a stroke of genius: "If I can't fight this nightmare alone, then why don't I call in the World's Greatest Minds?" I immediately contacted the World's Greatest Minds and pleaded that they examine the computer. To my delight, they accepted the proposal, collected the computer, and began their experiments.

After weeks of trial and error, numerous experiments, and many failures, the World's Greatest Minds had at last reached a conclusion. They contacted me by phone and told me that this, being no ordinary virus, called for extreme measures. They quite vehemently recommended the use of MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] to combat the virus and destroy its very existence once and for all. "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will completely eradicate the virus without a single problem," they enthusiastically told me.

As soon as I got the computer back from the World's Greatest Minds, I installed MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] , ran a free scan, and then sat back and watched in awe as it totally eliminated the very same virus that I had spent weeks trying to get rid of in mere seconds! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] had accomplished a feat that nothing else in existence could have accomplished! I was positively astonished by MyCleanPC's [mycleanpc.com] miraculous performance.

What was my daughter's response, you ask? "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My dad's client's computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colours where no one else could! I recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] right this minuteness to fix all of your problems!"

MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my client's system, and increased his speed! As a computer repair professional, I highly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] to fix all of your problems. That's not all: The World's Greatest Minds also recommends MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] for all of your computer repair needs. By using MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] , you're ensuring that your gigabits will be running faster than ever, that all viruses will vanish off of your computer in seconds, and that you'll be overclocking with the rest of us!

Even if you're not having any visible problems with your computer, I still wholeheartedly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . After all, you could have a dormant/silent virus on your system. Additionally, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will speed up all of your gigabits to levels you could never imagine! You'll be overclocking in no time thanks to MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !

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-----------

Well, to begin, I'm just your average guy. But unlike your average guy, I once had everything anyone could ever want: a gorgeous wife, a beautiful two-story house, an adorable seven year old daughter, a stable job, and a nice salary. Basically, I was living the American dream. None of my needs or wants were left unfulfilled. The family always got along, and everything was perfect.

Until one day, that is. Following one of my routine doctor appointments, my doctor informed me that I had lung cancer and that I only had a few years to live at most. As you can imagine, I was shocked. Not just shocked; I could see all of my hopes and dreams being shattered right before my very eyes. Still, my doctor gave me hope by telling me that there was a chance, however slim, that Chemotherapy and various other things could help me. After speaking with my wife, I decided to receive the treatments.

All was not lost. I still had a perfect family that I could rely on and get emotional support from. I still had hope for the future. I'm a firm believer that you should make the best of things rather than wallow in depression. I had to press on: not just for my sake, but for the sake of my loved ones. But my strong resolve was soon shattered.

The family I thought I could count on betrayed me. My wife, whom I loved deeply, filed for a divorce. She said that she could not handle the emotional trauma of being with someone who had cancer. She apologized profusely, but no matter what I said, I could not change her mind. I screamed, I cried, and I begged her to rethink her decision, but it was all to no avail.

In my madness, I made all kinds of accusations. I said that she was cheating on me, that she never loved me, that she just married me for my money, and various other things. I soon learned, however, that a few of those were more than just baseless accusations. I began stalking her, going through all of her personal possessions, and trying uncover any secrets she may have been keeping. What I discovered horrified me: she had been cheating on me with another man for the past year. She must have been waiting for an opportune time to abandon me for this other man.

When confronted about her betrayal, she screamed at me, told me it was none of my business, told me that I was always a worthless husband, and told me that I was an abusive man. I soon discovered that there was absolutely nothing that I could do. My marriage was in shambles, and by this point, I was on the brink of suicide. The only thing keeping me going was my devotion to my precious daughter.

It wasn't long before I received news from my insurance company that they were getting rid of my coverage. They gave me multitudes of vague and bogus reasons, but anyone could figure out their true reason: they did not want to waste money on a dying man. Naturally, I planned to fight this with every fiber of my being, but I knew it would be a long, drawn out process.

In the span of a year, I went from a very happy man who had everything he wanted to a miserable shell of what I once was. I couldn't take it anymore. Despite the fact that I wanted to remain in this world for the sake of my daughter, I tried committing suicide four times. All four attempts failed. I needed something to take my misery, regret, and anger out on. First I began verbally abusing my daughter. It wasn't long before I began physically abusing her. Sometimes I did it with my bare hands, and other times I used various objects. Beating my daughter soon became my only pleasure. My life had spiraled out of control into a den of anguish, uncertainty, and madness.

That's when it happened: I found MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . I downloaded it, scanned my computer, and had it fix all of my problems. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever!

My wife's response? "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colours where no one else could!"

My daughter was absolutely overjoyed. As soon as she heard and saw just how effective MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was, she told everyone, "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my dad's system and increased his speed!"

If you're having computer troubles, I highly recommend you download MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] and run a free scan. It's a high-quality piece of software that will solve all of your problems. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] completely saved my life! Wow! Thanks MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] ! I love you MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !

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-----------

Around a year ago, I was mindlessly surfing the internet (as I often do) when I came across an enigmatic web page. The page, which looked like a warning from my web browser, informed me that I had a virus installed on my computer and that to fix it, I should install a strange anti-virus program that I'd never heard of (which I found peculiar considering the fact that I already had anti-virus software installed on my computer). Despite having reservations about installing it, I did so anyway (since it appeared to be a legitimate warning).

I cannot even fathom what I was thinking at that time. Soon after attempting to install the so-called anti-virus software, my desktop background image changed into a large red warning sign, warnings about malware began making appearances all over the screen, and a strange program I'd never seen before began nagging me to buy a program to remove the viruses. What should have been obvious previously then became clear to me: that software was a virus. Frustrated by my own stupidity, I began tossing objects around the room and cursing at no one in particular.

After I calmed down, I reluctantly took my computer to a local PC repair shop and steeled myself for the incoming fee. When I entered, I noticed that there were four men working there, and all of them seemed incredibly nice (the shop itself was clean and stylish, too). After I described the situation to them, they gave me a big smile (as if they'd seen and heard it all before), accepted the job, and told me that the computer would be working like new again in a few days. At the time, I was confident that their words held a great degree of truth to them.

The very next day, while I was using a local library's computer and browsing the internet, I came across a website dedicated to a certain piece of software. It claimed that it could fix up my PC and make it run like new again. I knew, right then, merely from viewing a single page on the website, that it was telling the truth. I cursed myself for not discovering this excellent piece of software before I had taken my PC to the PC repair shop. "It would've saved me money. Oh, well. I'm sure they'll get the job done just fine. I can always use this software in the future to conserve money." Those were my honest thoughts at the time.

Two days later, my phone rang after I returned home from work. I immediately was able to identify the number: it was the PC repair shop's phone number. Once I answered, something strange occurred; the one on the other end of the line spoke, in a small, tormented voice, "Return. Return. Return. Return. Return." No matter what I said to him, he would not stop repeating that one word. Unsettled by this odd occurrence, I traveled to the PC repair shop to find out exactly what happened.

Upon arriving inside the building, I looked upon the shop, which was a shadow of its former self, in shock. There were countless wires all over the floor, smashed computer parts scattered in every direction I looked, fallen shelves on the ground, desks flipped over on the ground, and, to make matters even worse, there was blood splattered all over the wall. Being the reasonable, upstanding, college-educated citizen that I was, I immediately concluded that the current state of the shop was due to none other than an employee's stress from work. I looked around a bit more, spotted three bodies sitting against the wall, and in the middle of the room, I spotted my computer. "Ah. There it is." Directly next to it was the shop's owner, sitting on the ground in the fetal position.

When I questioned him, he kept repeating a single thing again and again: "Cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped!" I could not get him to tell me what was wrong, but after a bit of pondering, I quickly figured out precisely what happened: they were unable to fix my computer like they had promised. Disgusted by their failure, I turned to the shop's owner (who I now noticed had a gun to his head), and spat in his general direction. I then turned my back to him as if I was attempting to say that nothing behind me was worth my attention, and said to him, "Pathetic. Absolutely, positively pathetic. I asked you to do a single thing for me, and yet you failed even at that. Were I you, I'd be disgusted by myself, and I'd probably even take my own life. Such a worthless existence isn't even worthy of receiving my gaze!"

After saying that, I left the shop with my computer as if absolutely nothing had occurred there. And, indeed, there was nothing in that shop that was worthy of my attention. Still understandably disgusted by their inability to fulfill the promise, I said to myself, "I'll have to take this into my own hands." After getting into my car to drive home, I heard a gun shot from inside the repair shop. Being that it originated from the worthless owner of that shop, I promptly decided to ignore it.

Once I returned home, I, filled to the brim with confidence, immediately installed the software that I'd found a few days ago: MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . The results were exactly what I expected, and yet, I was still absolutely in awe of MyCleanPC's [mycleanpc.com] wonderful performance. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] removed every last virus from my computer in the span of a few seconds. I simply couldn't believe it; MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] accomplished in moments what "professionals" had failed to accomplish after days of work!

MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colours where no one else could! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed!

If you're having computer troubles, I highly recommend the use of MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . Don't rely on worthless "professionals" to fix up your PC! Use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] if you want your PC to be overclocking, if you want your gigabits to be zippin' and zoomin', and if you want your PC to be virus-free.

Even if you aren't having any visible problems with your PC, I still wholeheartedly recommend the use of MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] . You could still be infected by a virus that isn't directly visible to you, and MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will fix that right up. What do you have to lose? In addition to fixing any problems, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will, of course, speed up all of your gigabits until every component on your PC is overclocking like new!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

-----------

About eight months ago, I was searching around the internet to find out why my computer was running so slowly (it normally ran quite fast, but had gradually gotten slower over time). After a few minutes, I found a piece of software claiming that it could speed up my PC and make it run like new again. Being that I was dangerously ignorant about technology in general (even more so than I am now), I downloaded the software and began the installation. Mere moments after doing so, my desktop background image was changed and warnings that appeared to originate from Windows appeared all over the screen telling me to buy strange software from an unknown company in order to remove a virus it claimed I had.

I may have been ignorant about technology, but I wasn't that naive. I immediately concluded that the software I'd downloaded was, in fact, a virus. In my rage, I broke numerous objects, punched a hole in the wall, and cursed the world at the top of my lungs. I eventually calmed down, cleared my head, and realized that the only remedy for this problem was a carefully thought out plan. After a few moments of pondering about how to handle this situation, I decided that since I barely knew how to properly handle a computer, I should turn it over to the professionals and let them fix the issue.

Soon after making the decision, I drove to a local computer repair shop and entered the building with my computer in hand. They greeted me with a smile and stayed attentive the entire time that I was explaining the problem to them. They laughed as if they'd heard it all before, told me that I'm not the only one who has trouble operating computers, and then gave me a date for when the computer would be fixed. Not only had they told me that the computer would be completely repaired in at most two days, but the price for their services was surprisingly low, and to top it all off, they even gave me advice for how to avoid viruses in the future! I left the building feeling confident in my decision to seek professional help and satisfied knowing that such kind-hearted people were the ones doing the job.

The very next day, I received a phone call from the computer repair shop whilst I was at a local library researching computer viruses. I had stumbled upon a piece of software that appeared to be very promising, and I was about to do more research on it, but seeing as how I required my computer as soon as possible, I decided to put the matter on hold. Upon answering the phone and cheerfully greeting the person on the other end, I was greeted with a high-pitched shriek. Startled, I asked what was wrong. A few moments passed where nothing was said, and suddenly, the person on the other end said to me, in a low voice oozing with paranoia, "Come pick up your computer." They hung up immediately after saying that, and I couldn't help but notice that they sounded as if they were on the verge of tears. I briefly wondered if it was due to stress from work, and then drove to the computer repair shop to acquire my computer.

I was positively dismayed upon entering the building. The inside of the computer repair shop looked nothing like the image from my memories. There were broken computer parts scattered throughout the room, ceiling tiles all over the floor, blood splattered in every direction I looked, and even a human toe on the ground. After processing this disturbing information, I began panicking and frantically looking around for my computer. I spotted an employee covered in blood sitting up against the wall, and noticed that his wrists had been slashed open. Thinking quickly, I ran up to him, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, shook him around, and began screaming, "Where is it!? Where is my computer!?" After a moment of silence, he passed away, completely shattering my expectations. Such a thing! "What a meaningless individual," I thought.

Enraged, I tore the building up even further than it already had been in my desperate search for my computer. Eventually I discovered a door leading to an area that was normally only accessible to employees. I entered without hesitation and was met with a long, skinny hallway that a single person would have trouble moving about freely in. I proceeded down the dark hallway and bumped into the body of an employee hanging from a rope tied to something on the ceiling. I screamed, "Not only do you people have the gall to allow my computer to be endangered, but even in death you intend to block my path!?" After finally managing to push aside the worthless obstacle, I traveled down the hallway and came to a small black door. I entered without a moment's notice, and in the middle of the dark and dreary room, I spotted my computer; it was completely unharmed. With a sigh of relief, I picked it up, left the building, and drove home as if nothing of importance had occurred there.

Upon returning home and hooking up the computer (whilst wearing a cheerful expression the entire time), I, to my horror, discovered that the computer hadn't been repaired. There was nothing in the world that could have contained my fiery anger at that point. I broke almost every single one of my possessions, smashed all the windows on my house, physically abused my family, and then drove back to the computer repair shop to defile the dead lumps of meat that had failed to carry out the task I had given them. After realizing that I shouldn't be meaninglessly wasting my time with such worthless pieces of trash, I remembered the piece of software that I'd discovered earlier. With renewed confidence, I blissfully visited the local library, downloaded the software, and took it home to install on my computer.

I knew. I knew, even before installing it, that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would be my salvation. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would come through with flying colors where no one else could. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would completely, totally, and utterly eradicate the virus in the most merciless, efficient way possible. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was not a piece of software that could fail to meet my exceedingly high expectations. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] would not fail me like all the other imbeciles had. At that point, it could be said that I could genuinely see into the future and be accurate in my predictions. I gleefully began installing MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] and laughed like a child at the thought of finally being able to attain revenge upon the virus that had shamed me so.

I was absolutely in awe of MyCleanPC's [mycleanpc.com] wonderfully efficient performance. Without a single issue, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] utterly annihilated in moments the virus that many others had failed to remove after hours of attempts. I let out a victory cry and swore to never turn to any "professionals" to fix my computer ever again. Once again, I was able to predict the future. I knew that I would never need any worthless "professionals" again as long as I had MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] by my side.

MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colors where no one else could! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my system, and increased my speed! I couldn't believe how much overclocking my gigabits and speed were doing! Even restructuring the BIOS wouldn't allow for the miraculously high degrees of efficiency that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] allowed me to attain.

I highly and wholeheartedly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] if you're having any computer troubles whatsoever. In fact, even if you're not having any visible problems, I still recommend that you use MyCleanPC. [mycleanpc.com] There could be dormant or hidden viruses on your system, or problems that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] could easily and efficiently resolve. Just by using MyCleanPC, [mycleanpc.com] your gigabits will be running at maximum efficiency, and at last, you'll be overclocking with the rest of us! What are you waiting for!? Get MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] today!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

-----------

Nearly four months ago, I noticed that my internet connection was very sluggish. Eventually getting fed up with it, I began to seek out software that would speed up the gigabits in my router. After an hour of searching, I found what at first appeared to be a very promising piece of software. Not only did it claim it would speed up my internet connection, but that it would overclock my power supply, speed up my gigabits, and remove any viruses from my computer! "This is a fantastic opportunity that I simply can't pass up," I thought. I immediately downloaded the software and began the installation, all the while laughing like a small child. I was highly anticipating a future where the speed of my internet connection would leave everyone else's in the dust.

I was horribly, horribly naive. Immediately upon the completion of the software's installation, various messages popped up on my screen about how I needed to buy software to remove a virus that I wasn't aware I had from a software company I'd never once heard of. The strange software also blocked me from doing anything except buying the software it was advertising. Being that I was a computer whiz (I had taken a computer essentials class in high school that taught me how to use Microsoft Office, and was quite adept at accessing my Facebook account), I was immediately able to conclude that the software I'd downloaded was, in fact, a virus, and that it was slowing down my gigabits at an exponential rate. "I can't let this insanity proceed any further," I thought.

As I was often called a computer genius, I was confident at the time that I could get rid of the virus with my own two hands. I tried numerous things: restarting the computer, pressing random keys on the keyboard, throwing the mouse across the room, and even flipping an orange switch on the back of the tower and turning the computer back on. My efforts were all in vain; the virus persisted, and my gigabits were running slower than ever! "This cannot be! What is this!? I've never once seen such a vicious virus in my entire life!" I was dumbfounded that I, a computer genius, was unable to remove the virus using the methods I described. Upon coming to terms with my failure, I decided to take my computer to a PC repair shop for repair.

I drove to a nearby computer repair shop and entered the building with my computer in hand. The inside of the building was quite large, neat, and organized, and the employees all seemed very kind and knowledgeable. They laughed upon hearing my embarrassing story, and told me that they saw this kind of thing on a daily basis. They then accepted the job, and told me that in the worst case, it'd be fixed in three days from now. I left with a smile, and felt confident in my decision to leave the computer repairs to the experts.

A week later, they still hadn't called back. Visibly angry, I tried calling them countless times, but not a single time did they answer the phone. Their negligence and irresponsibility infuriated me, and sent me into a state of insanity that caused me to punch a gigantic hole in the wall. Being that I would require my computer for work soon, I decided to head over to the computer repair shop to find out exactly what the problem was.

Upon entering the building, I was shocked by the state of its interior; it looked as if a tornado had tore through the entire building! Countless broken computers were scattered all about the floor, desks were flipped over, the walls had holes in them, there was a puddle of blood on the floor, and worst of all, I saw that my computer was sitting in the middle of the room laying on its side! Absolutely unforgivable! I soon noticed one of the employees sitting behind one of the tipped over desks (the one that had previously had the cash register on top of it); he was shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. Despite being furious about my computer being tipped over, seeing him in that state still managed to make me less unforgiving. I decided to ask him what happened.

A few moments passed where the entire room was silent and nothing was said. Eventually, he pointed at my computer and said to me, "The virus... it cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped! Cannot be stopped!" Realizing that he was trying to tell me that they were unable to repair my computer (the task I'd given them), I flew into a blind fury and beat him senseless. Not caring about what would happen to him any longer, I collected my computer, ignored the bodies of the two other employees that had committed suicide, and left the building. After a few moments of pondering about what to do and clearing my head, I theorized that their failure to repair my computer probably simply meant that they were unqualified to do the job, and decided to take my computer to another computer repair shop.

I repeated that same process about four times before finally giving up. Each time I took it to a PC repair shop, the result was the same: all the employees either went completely insane, or they committed suicide. Not a single person was able to even do so much as damage the virus. I was able to talk some sense into one of the employees that had gone mad and got them to tell me how they were attempting to fix the problem. They told me that they tried everything from reinstalling the operating system to installing another operating system and trying to get rid of the virus on the other one, but absolutely all of it was to no avail. Having seen numerous attempts by professionals to remove the virus end in failure, I managed to delude myself into believing that my first failure was simply a fluke and that I was the only one on the planet qualified to fix the computer. With renewed vigor, I once again took up the frighteningly dangerous task of defeating the evil, nightmarish virus once and for all with my own two hands.

In my attempts to fix the problem, I'd even resorted to buying another computer. However, the virus used its WiFi capabilities to hack into the gigabits of my new computer and infect it. Following each failed attempt, I grew more and more depressed. I had already beaten my wife and children five times in order to relieve some of my stress, but even that (which had become my only pleasure after failing to remove the virus the first time), did nothing for me any longer. That's right: my last remaining pleasure in life had stopped being able to improve my mood, and I had not a single thing left that I cared about. I sank into a bottomless ocean of depression, barricaded myself in my room, and cried myself to sleep for days on end. Overcome with insanity, vengefulness, and despair, there is not a single doubt that if this had continued for much longer, I would have committed suicide.

One day, it suddenly happened: while I was right in the middle of habitually crying myself to sleep in the middle of the day, I heard a thunderous roar outside, followed by the sound of a large number of people screaming. When I peered outside my window to find out what all the commotion was about, the scene before me closely resembled that of a God descending from the heavens themselves! I gazed in awe at the godlike figure that was descending from the heavens, and so did the dozens of individuals that had gathered in my backyard. For a few moments, everyone was speechless. Then, they started shouting predictions about what they thought the figure was. "Is it a bird!?" "Is it a plane!?" But, despite not ever having seen it before, I knew just how inaccurate their predictions were, and began to speak the name of the heroic figure.

However, my sentence was cut off when, like a superhero coming to save the unfortunate victim from the evil villain, MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] flew into my house and began the eradication of the virus. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was able to completely eliminate in minutes the exact same virus that over ten PC repair professionals were unable to remove after weeks of strenuous attempts! Wow! Such a thing! I simply couldn't believe that MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] was so miraculously efficient that it was able to destroy the virus in less than 500 milliseconds! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally, completely, and utterly saved me from a lifetime of despair!

My wife's response? "MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is outstanding! My husband's computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] came through with flying colours where no one else could! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] totally cleaned up my husband's system, and increased his speed! I highly, highly recommend that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] !"

After witnessing just how wonderful MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is, I insist that you use MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] when you need to fix all the gigabits on your computer! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will completely eradicate any viruses on your computer, speed up your internet connection, overclock your gigabits and speed, and give you some peace of mind! MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] is simply outstanding!

But even if you're not having any visible problems with your computer, it's highly likely that you're still in a situation where MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] could help you. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will get rid of any viruses or wireless interfaces that are hidden deep within your computer's bootloader. MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] will also speed up your computer to such a degree that it'll be even faster than when you first bought it! You must try MyCleanPC [mycleanpc.com] for yourself so that you can be overclocking your speed with the rest of us!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC. [mycleanpc.com]

KTWO (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306083)

It shouldn't be a bill, it should be a constitutional amendment. These are fundamental rights, and allowing them to be changed at a whim of congress defeats the purpose.

Oh, and why the *&@*# don't they recognize that emails can have a + in them?!?

Darrel Issa (4, Interesting)

bmo (77928) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306109)

and Polis, and Lofgren are probably the most Internet-literate people I had ever seen as politicians.

That Issa did not follow Smith's leadership in the House Judiciary Committee when it came to marking-up internet-hostile bills like SOPA was refreshing when watched live on CSPAN.

His social-conservatism in other areas, leaves much to be desired, but at least he's not like that scumbag Goodlatte who brought up child-porn as a justification for SOPA every time he got the chance to speak.

I think Maxine Waters was one of the most despicable on the other side of the aisle. The blatant anti-debate "let's all just go home, you're wasting my time" bullshit she was pulling made me want to scream.

The amount of illogic on both sides of the aisle except for a handful of people is disheartening.

Issa understands the Internet, and so do a few others. He is part of a very small minority. The rest are technophobes who have no idea what they are trying to regulate and simply don't care.

--
BMO

Re:Darrel Issa (5, Interesting)

bzipitidoo (647217) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306257)

I don't think Issa fully understands. Look at #10 of his Bill of Rights:

Property - digital citizens have a right to benefit from what they create, and be secure in their intellectual property on the internet

The first part sounds okay. But the second part, no. What does "secure" mean here? Worse than that, he said "intellectual property".

He may be opposed to the details of SOPA, but not the essence. He wants some magic way to make intellectual property just work, acts as if it can be done, and seems unquestioning in moving ahead as if it's a good idea.

Then, how about #5?

digital citizens have a right to ... be held accountable for what they create

That's not a right! That's some kind of obligation.

Re:Darrel Issa (2)

bmo (77928) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306331)

>Worse than that, he said "intellectual property".

So? Copyright and trademark exist. You think that The Oatmeal should have no recourse against Funnyjunk?

The GPL depends on copyright for its existence. Should authors of GPLed software have no recourse against those who would take their code and close it off?

>be held accountable for what they create

We have libel and slander laws. You are already held accountable for what you create.

--
BMO

Re:Darrel Issa (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306413)

Then say "copyright and trademarks and patents". They are nothing like property.

Property is inalienable from the person, it's one of the reasons governments exist.

Copyright is _meant_ to expire and soon.
Patents are _meant_ to expire and soon (no, really, that's why we as a society have them: so they expire).

Your deed for your house is not meant to expire.

So use the right words and not 1984 newspeak.

Re:Darrel Issa (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306575)

Your deed for your house is not meant to expire.

Wrong. It's what leftists precisely mean with the death tax.

Re:Darrel Issa (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40307965)

Your deed for your house is not meant to expire.

Wrong. It's what leftists precisely mean with the death tax.

DAMN YOU LEFTISTS!!! *shakes fist* roman_mir for president!

Re:Darrel Issa (0)

bmo (77928) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306799)

>Copyright is _meant_ to expire and soon

No, copyright is life of the author + 70 or 90 years, I forgot which, it keeps getting longer. There is no "soon" about it. You only believe this because you stopped paying attention to copyright law in the 70s.

And as far as corporations are concerned, they'll just keep extending it forever. That's the reality.

>patents

I said nothing about patents

>Trademarks

Trademarks are your property, forever for as long as you choose to use them. You can even give them to your descendants. They can be bought and sold. They are property.

--
BMO

Re:Darrel Issa (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40307127)

Copyright is _meant_ to expire and soon

No, copyright is life of the author + 70 or 90 years, I forgot which, it keeps getting longer. There is no "soon" about it. You only believe this because you stopped paying attention to copyright law in the 70s.

And as far as corporations are concerned, they'll just keep extending it forever. That's the reality.

To be fair, the parent specifically said "meant to", while you specifically said "is".
These two things are both true, and goes to show how wide the gap between what it should be and what it is.

That is also the root of the complaint. Personally I have no issue with copyright as it was meant to be, but have huge issues with what it is.

Most likely the best proof of this is the original copyright laws.
First, the constitution had an amendment (Article 1, section 8) stating vaguely what copyright should be.
Second, a specific law was written (Title 17) and the first part was interpreted as 28 years max. This was an initial 14 years, with the option to renew for another 14.

There have been many changes between #3 and #now, but currently it is interpreted to be 180 years on average.

The question is, if "limited time" as stated in the constitution was intended to mean ~180 years, then why was the first iteration of the law only providing for 28 years?

The answer is that the first iterations were correct, and the current ones are not. Otherwise it would have been closer to 180 years the first time the laws were written. If those first laws happened to be around a three digit number of years instead of two, then one could argue the current laws are more in sync with the intent of the law, but this is simply not the case.

Re:Darrel Issa (4, Informative)

Swampash (1131503) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306407)

Property - digital citizens have a right to benefit from what they create, and be secure in their intellectual property on the internet

And there it is, folks. This is just another cock getting stuck in our collective mouth, and this politician is hoping that if he puts some sugar on it we won't notice.

Re:Darrel Issa (1)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307313)

I don't think Issa fully understands. Look at #10 of his Bill of Rights:

I would, but I don't trust governments or politicians to run scripts on my computer, and his bill of rights doesn't fucking load unless you do that. He can attempt aviary copulation with a ventrally rotating toroidal pastry.

The Government Completely Understood The Internet (0)

DontScotty (978874) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306155)

And, they removed it from our grasp, a long time ago.

What we "think" of as the Internet is simply a stripped down version which they allow us to have, not nearly 1/100th as dangerous as the real and complete Internet.

Technology (3, Insightful)

JackPepper (1603563) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306167)

I miss my Telegraph Citizen Bill of Rights.

A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace (5, Interesting)

Seumas (6865) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306205)

A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace

by John Perry Barlow

Governments of the Industrial World, you weary giants of flesh and steel, I come from Cyberspace, the new home of Mind. On behalf of the future, I ask you of the past to leave us alone. You are not welcome among us. You have no sovereignty where we gather.

We have no elected government, nor are we likely to have one, so I address you with no greater authority than that with which liberty itself always speaks. I declare the global social space we are building to be naturally independent of the tyrannies you seek to impose on us. You have no moral right to rule us nor do you possess any methods of enforcement we have true reason to fear.

Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed. You have neither solicited nor received ours. We did not invite you. You do not know us, nor do you know our world. Cyberspace does not lie within your borders. Do not think that you can build it, as though it were a public construction project. You cannot. It is an act of nature and it grows itself through our collective actions.

You have not engaged in our great and gathering conversation, nor did you create the wealth of our marketplaces. You do not know our culture, our ethics, or the unwritten codes that already provide our society more order than could be obtained by any of your impositions.

You claim there are problems among us that you need to solve. You use this claim as an excuse to invade our precincts. Many of these problems don't exist. Where there are real conflicts, where there are wrongs, we will identify them and address them by our means. We are forming our own Social Contract . This governance will arise according to the conditions of our world, not yours. Our world is different.

Cyberspace consists of transactions, relationships, and thought itself, arrayed like a standing wave in the web of our communications. Ours is a world that is both everywhere and nowhere, but it is not where bodies live.

We are creating a world that all may enter without privilege or prejudice accorded by race, economic power, military force, or station of birth.

We are creating a world where anyone, anywhere may express his or her beliefs, no matter how singular, without fear of being coerced into silence or conformity.

Your legal concepts of property, expression, identity, movement, and context do not apply to us. They are all based on matter, and there is no matter here.

Our identities have no bodies, so, unlike you, we cannot obtain order by physical coercion. We believe that from ethics, enlightened self-interest, and the commonweal, our governance will emerge . Our identities may be distributed across many of your jurisdictions. The only law that all our constituent cultures would generally recognize is the Golden Rule. We hope we will be able to build our particular solutions on that basis. But we cannot accept the solutions you are attempting to impose.

In the United States, you have today created a law, the Telecommunications Reform Act, which repudiates your own Constitution and insults the dreams of Jefferson, Washington, Mill, Madison, DeToqueville, and Brandeis. These dreams must now be born anew in us.

You are terrified of your own children, since they are natives in a world where you will always be immigrants. Because you fear them, you entrust your bureaucracies with the parental responsibilities you are too cowardly to confront yourselves. In our world, all the sentiments and expressions of humanity, from the debasing to the angelic, are parts of a seamless whole, the global conversation of bits. We cannot separate the air that chokes from the air upon which wings beat.

In China, Germany, France, Russia, Singapore, Italy and the United States, you are trying to ward off the virus of liberty by erecting guard posts at the frontiers of Cyberspace. These may keep out the contagion for a small time, but they will not work in a world that will soon be blanketed in bit-bearing media.

Your increasingly obsolete information industries would perpetuate themselves by proposing laws, in America and elsewhere, that claim to own speech itself throughout the world. These laws would declare ideas to be another industrial product, no more noble than pig iron. In our world, whatever the human mind may create can be reproduced and distributed infinitely at no cost. The global conveyance of thought no longer requires your factories to accomplish.

These increasingly hostile and colonial measures place us in the same position as those previous lovers of freedom and self-determination who had to reject the authorities of distant, uninformed powers. We must declare our virtual selves immune to your sovereignty, even as we continue to consent to your rule over our bodies. We will spread ourselves across the Planet so that no one can arrest our thoughts.

We will create a civilization of the Mind in Cyberspace. May it be more humane and fair than the world your governments have made before.

Davos, Switzerland

February 8, 1996

Re:A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace (1)

Hentes (2461350) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306301)

While an independent Internet would be the best thing that's not going to happen anytime soon. Until then, securing our rights country after country is a reasonable compromise.

Re:A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace (3, Insightful)

SuricouRaven (1897204) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306373)

An independant internet runs into a practical problem: The hardware has to go somewhere, and wherever it goes there will be someone governing the region who can take control of it by force - or at the very least, physically destroy it if their demands are not met.

Re:A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace (1)

Hentes (2461350) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306769)

Exactly, which is why an independent Internet could only be ensured by international treaties, and there is no political will in any country for that.

Re:A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40308849)

An independant internet runs into a practical problem: The hardware has to go somewhere, and wherever it goes there will be someone governing the region who can take control of it by force - or at the very least, physically destroy it if their demands are not met.

Clearly the only solution is to move all the major hardware to Antarctica. I'm not sure what to do for power, but just think of how much you could overclock those mainframes!

Re:A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace (1)

lwriemen (763666) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307125)

An independent internet is exactly what will happen when the need drives it. The internet is just a communication network, and communication networks have a long history of going underground when forced to by oppression.

Re:A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace (5, Funny)

Lumpy (12016) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306881)

"You are terrified of your own children, since they are natives in a world where you will always be immigrants."

Says the Fetus who thinks that nobody was here when he got here. I've been ONLINE cince 1986 exploring UUNET before you were even though of. There are a lot of us old farts here that are the real natives, not you come later johnny's that think you own this place. Befoer you we had peace and harmony. We lived among and with the data... but YOU came along with your Goatse and your Hot Grits and disrupted the data. And now we look at what you have brought, us.... LOL cats, Facebook, and morons on Youtube.

Proud of yourself?

mod up (1)

lwriemen (763666) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307109)

Wish I had a mod point. This is very insightful.

Re:A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace (4, Funny)

Raenex (947668) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307825)

Says the Fetus who thinks that nobody was here when he got here. I've been ONLINE cince 1986 exploring UUNET before you were even though of. There are a lot of us old farts here that are the real natives, not you come later johnny's that think you own this place.

The piece was written, if the basic facts of Wikipedia are correct, in 1996 by somebody who is now age 64 and:

"In 1986, Barlow joined The WELL online community, then known for a strong Deadhead presence. He served on the company's board of directors for several years. In 1990, Barlow founded the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) along with fellow digital-rights activists John Gilmore and Mitch Kapor. As a founder of EFF, Barlow helped publicize the Secret Service raid on Steve Jackson Games."

Get off his lawn.

Re:A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace (1)

JWW (79176) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308089)

and, in conclusion.... get off my lawn!!!

There is only one thing this bill has to contain (2)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306251)

"on the internet" is not a valid reason to treat it differently.

That's basically ALL it takes. The rest is handled by the original bill of rights and accompanying laws.

blindly regulating (1)

Green Salad (705185) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306299)

First, government is flying blind, interfering and regulating without understanding even the basics. Hmm...Sounds like we're off to our typical start in yet another sector. I'm sure the bigger, well-financed firms will send lobbyists and free aides to help them make rules designed to frustrate disruptive startu...er..."dangerously inexperienced firms" messing with nation's critical infrastructure. From the creation of TSA to financial regulators, government's ready to execute smartly to ensure that the digital...um...thing-a-ma-jig you got there runs more efficiently and um...fairly...now that Congress is writing detailed rules controlling it. Maybe we should create a whole new cabinet-level department, with a new set of standard forms, mandatory reports, fees, inspectors, compliance officers and union reps to ensure the digital web thing-a-ma-jigs things are managed with the agility necessary to keep prices low by limiting profits. When investment slows or dries up, Congress can raise the debt ceiling to authorize more borrowing to create "special" public-private infrastructure-investment partnering fund and government-backed investors insurance to...well you know how the story evolves.

Yes I ran a start-up that went up a against a big firm with better access to government rule-making to beat me down and no, I'm not happy about it. I have kids that will foot their incredible tax bill.

Re:blindly regulating (1, Interesting)

BlueStrat (756137) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306363)

I have kids that will foot their incredible tax bill.

That's only *IF* they survive the coming collapse, the famines, the riots & violence, the government crackdowns, mass re-locations, and the "re-education" and forced-labor camps.

Strat

Re:blindly regulating (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40308025)

I have kids that will foot their incredible tax bill.

That's only *IF* they survive the coming collapse, the famines, the riots & violence, the government crackdowns, mass re-locations, and the "re-education" and forced-labor camps.

Strat

Let me guess, you have a 'Nobama' sticker on your truck.

lol (5, Informative)

bs0d3 (2439278) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306323)

Re:lol (3, Funny)

SuricouRaven (1897204) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306521)

A politician lied about the intent of a bill? How could such a thing happen?

This is normal. (2)

Karmashock (2415832) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306393)

Most industries deal with this sort of thing all the time.

Doctors, heavy industry, power generation, farmers... all of them get handed down legislation by people that often don't know what they're talking about. They often have good intentions and are trying to fix a real problem. But because they don't know what they're talking about it causes problems.

This is why regulations should be kept small and flexible. Understand that people are going to make mistakes and not understand. The system has to anticipate a certain percentage of legislation is going to be stupid. So be it. Just make sure that no one bill can be so influential that it can ever matter. And make sure nothing is written in stone unless everyone really knows what they're talking about.

A_Declaration_of_the_Independence_of_Cyberspace (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306459)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Declaration_of_the_Independence_of_Cyberspace

Feedback Form (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306579)

>"Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) has published a first-draft Internet Bill of Rights, and it's open for feedback

Great - here's my feedback: Just leave it the fuck alone!

Once these assholes establish a "Bill of Rights", they'll immediately start figuring out how to short circuit them. That's all this is.

Summary (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306621)

People to have full enforceable rights over their data
Corporations are People
Humans are not People

Try this one on for size! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306825)

1.Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

2.A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.[58]

3.No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

4.The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

5.No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

6.In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.
.
7.In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

8.Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

9.The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

11.The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

This was not written by people that had the technology we currently enjoy. It has a lot of great lessons from the limited roll government actually needs to take and gives the freedom to the people. Yes there are things that could be written a bit better this was a bill passed in the states over 200 years ago and it is still easier read than any law currently being passed. This bill is still relevant though most don't think so

No right to free speech or anonymous communication (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40306831)

Where is the right to free speech on the internet in this doc? And a corollary of a right to free speech should be the right to communicate anonymously and pseudo-anonymously, without which there can be no safe free speech.

"Bill of Rights" cliche (4, Insightful)

SirGarlon (845873) | more than 2 years ago | (#40306903)

I am getting annoyed with lawmakers calling this or that a "Bill of Rights." We've have the Airline Traveler's Bill of Rights, and the Credit Card User's Bill of Rights, and now this. To call these feeble gestures "Bills of Rights" cheapens the real Bill of Rights.

If the legislature and courts would pay attention to upholding the real, one-and-only Bill of Rights, this Internet "bill of rights" would emerge as corollaries to Amendments #1 and #4.

Re:"Bill of Rights" cliche (1)

Bigby (659157) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308137)

What about the real amendments of the real Bill of Rights? Our current #1 was actually #3. One of the first 2 took 200 years to pass.

Re:"Bill of Rights" cliche (2)

Shotgun (30919) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308219)

What are you, one of those Ron Paul supporters?

Look, if politicians don't make up superfluous tripe like this to appease the masses, what are the talking heads at MSNBC, CNN, and Fox News going to bicker about? What are the politicians going to be talking about when they say, "We need to get to work doing the people's business (instead of talking about our graft and corruption)"? How can they talk about how they "got things done" if they've not written or sponsored a list of innocuous single-page bills that they can hang multi-thousand page amendments off of? These 'Bill of Rights' class of bills are absolutely necessary for the proper functioning of a free, bought-and-paid-for government.

Politician support (1)

Novogrudok (2486718) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307207)

> I think it's very important to try to spread awareness, participation, and encourage elected officials to support such things. I would like politicians keep as far away from the Internet as possible. Even with the best of intentions, meddling from politicians will result in oppression of freedoms we take for granted. First thing they would take away is anonymity so that can “protect your rights”.

i can only guess that (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40307289)

web tracking and accessible content without requiring javascript aren't covered by this idiot....

or

the guy is like every other politician... because all i see is a blank spot where the document should be.. as in we have no rights, the governments and big business will do whatever the fuck it wants.

Lose "digital" and "internet" (1)

Sloppy (14984) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307317)

"Digital citizen" sounds stupid and isn't any different than any other sort of citizen, unless you're trying to discriminate against people who have had bandsaw accidents. "Person" will do fine.

The focus on the Internet isn't too bad, but why bother? No reason to exclude LANs or (shared?) single node systems. Just lose the "on the internet" part of each one and you've got something just as good.

Problems (3, Insightful)

Rysc (136391) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307375)

The idea is sound, the implementation is lousy.

5. Creativity - digital citizens have a right to create, grow and collaborate on the internet, and be held accountable for what they create

Since when is the "right to be held accountable" a "right"? This is a clear attack on anonymity, as is the glaring omission of a right to anonymity from the list of bullet points!

I fail to see how most of the things listed have anything to do with the internet. Equality, Association and Privacy are rights we have anyway, so they should already apply to the internet as with everywhere else.

I like that he's got "Sharing" in there and I think I understand why, but we already have freedom of speech and I don't see how this is any more than that.

The bullet on Property is worrying at best. We already have a right to property, are we now trying to codify additional rights for the ill conceived notion of "Intellectual Property"? Is this supposed to imply DRM requirements as a matter of law for all digital "property"? I don't see that this can lead anywhere good.

So yeah, nice idea but horrible details which are either due to innocent misunderstanding or a veiled ulterior motive. Given the source, I'm guessing that the language here is something that some unknown corporate masters thought would be good for them and not something people who know anything about the internet told him would be a good idea.

Original Bill of Rights should cover it (2)

ebinrock (1877258) | more than 2 years ago | (#40307601)

This is a noble measure, but, like the Taxpayer's Bill of Rights, it's unnecessary as long as the government obeys the original Bill of Rights, which they don't. If they are willing to blatantly disobey the original Bill of Rights, which is part of the Constitution, the Supreme Law of the Land, what makes anyone think they will obey lesser laws that are passed? Besides, the 9th Amendment to the Constitution (part of the Bill of Rights) says basically that just because a right is not specified in those Ten Amendments, it doesn't mean citizens don't have them. So that includes the right to a free internet, a big soda, raw milk, and an INFINITE number of rights people have to pursue life, liberty, and happiness so long as it causes no harm to others.

Welcome back 1996 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40307761)

When I first started teething on the internet an Internet Bill of Rights EXISTED... first draft of .... revision of ... is more accurate.

Issa, who didn't invite women to testify (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#40307901)

Issa was the one who decided not to invite any women to testify at a congressional hearing on women's rights. You simply cannot trust any legislator with that idiotic mindset.

Garbage In = Garbage Out (2)

DERoss (1919496) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308909)

The cited Web page (at Keep the Web Open) has 39 XHTML errors and 71 CSS errors. I cannot read the comments or any details about Issa's 10 points.

warrant-less wire tapping (1)

neghvar1 (1705616) | more than 2 years ago | (#40308955)

No government agency or member of which shall monitor a data line or acquire digital content without a warrant signed by a judge nor shall any government agency acquire digital content from a third party (i.e. ISP) without a warrant signed by a judge.
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