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Google CEO Larry Page Says "Nothing Seriously Wrong"

timothy posted about 2 years ago | from the just-going-a-bit-tessier-ashpool dept.

Google 88

After Larry Page bowed out from some public appearances, reader Pigskin-Referee writes with the news that "Google Inc Chief Executive Larry Page has reassured employees about his health, but the company on Friday shed little additional light on an unspecified condition affecting his voice that will sideline him from two high-profile events in the coming weeks. Page told employees in an email on Thursday that there was 'nothing seriously wrong with me,' according to a source who had seen an internal staff memo. The 39-year-old Google co-founder sat out his company's annual shareholders' meeting on Thursday because he had 'lost his voice,' according to Google Executive Chairman Eric Schmidt, who informed attendees of the news at the start of the event."

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88 comments

Speaker...of the house. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421037)

"Can you hear me now! ....NO!

Page Should Take Inspiration from His Role Model (4, Funny)

RobotRunAmok (595286) | about 2 years ago | (#40421597)

Darth Vader did most of his best work after he lost his voice. I mean, c'mon, his focus is on Doing Evil, not singing friggin' madrigals, let's not make too much of this...

Re:Page Should Take Inspiration from His Role Mode (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421779)

You can take a page out of his life, but you can't take life out of Page.

I Call Nose Job! (1)

IBitOBear (410965) | about 2 years ago | (#40426713)

Let's face it, when famous rich people "publically disapear" for a few weeks because of an "unspoken medical malady" but still have their regular e-presence, they've most likely "had work done."

Just wait three weeks and then tell him "it looks so natural, and your eyes don't look permanently surprised at all dude" when you see him next. 8-)

That or the problem is "unspeakable" for being trivially "yuchy", like a ruptured hemiroid.

It's really pointless to debate it all, as both serious and trivial/embarrassing malidies are bad for stock prices.

So even if its an emergency partial orchidectomy due to a newly realized mass, or its disasterously failed hair plugs, just pretend its a nose job being hidden. That's best for the economy no matter what.

online presence (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40443081)

" when famous rich people "publically disapear" for a few weeks because of an "unspoken medical malady" but still have their regular e-presence, they've most likely "had work done ".

Not necessarily. Many famous people employ a Ghostwriter to keep up with their Twitter / Facebook / Personal web blog / etc.
50 cent is well known for doing this. Britney Spears was also, although she now has it to where when others update Her social pages, they sign their own names so fans know who wrote the tweet.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/27/technology/internet/27twitter.html
http://www.mid-day.com/entertainment/2009/apr/010409-Hollywood-Celebrities-hiring-ghost-writers-Twitter-social-networking-craze-Britney-Spears.htm
http://anamikas.hubpages.com/hub/Making-Money-Online-Celebrity-Ghost-Blogger-Writer-Corporate-Company-Blogging-Writing

So, the celeb could be in the hospital or rehab, Or jail, and not be online at all in person, but their ghostwriter could still be responding to fans via social media. just FYI.

meat glove; it gloves your meat! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421045)

"Seriously... dropped a fresh turd and a few poots into the toilet and I feel better already."

I've heard that before..... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421073)

Isn't that what Steve Jobs said in the beginning too?

Re:I've heard that before..... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421091)

Isn't that what Steve Jobs said in the beginning too?

Who cares.

Re:I've heard that before..... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421129)

I cares, you big old asshole.

Now answer the question before I get you in a headlock and see how long it takes you to get out of it, you bowl of fruit & pussies.

Butthurt. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421083)

I am butthurt that I am not a multibillionaire. I would eat my wife to be Larry Page. I would solve P=NP on a blackboard in an hour to be Larry Page.

Re:Butthurt. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421491)

But would you startup a search engine company to be Larry Page?

Thanks for all the concern (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421107)

Poor Larry Page stubs his toe and Slashdot has it as front page news.

What else 'matters' for fucks sake.

Don't tell me there isn't a serious mancrush going on here.

Re:Thanks for all the concern (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421149)

You wish you were a multibillionaire. amirite??? Don't tell me you don't have a serious man crush with loads of cash. Why the fuck don't these people just chill out until the Singularity? You can live off a million dollars a year!

Re:Thanks for all the concern (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421465)

If /. has a mancrush for anyone, it was steve jobs

now, it has become necrophilia

Re:Thanks for all the concern (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40422393)

Losing your voice for weeks with no illness is normal.

Rumor is a Growth on his larynx (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421139)

Just what's passed around the valley in the past few days.

WELL I HEARD (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421245)

some online order boy wonder twink busted the clap in his ass and got him all laid up for a few days but he's cool now

I hate shareholders (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421155)

"Oh. My. GOD. HE'S NOT IMMORTAL! He suffers minor illnesses like we do! THE COMPANY IS DOOMED! DOOMED! DOOOOOOOOOOMED! Somebody reassure us he's not dead already! HE'S BEEN DEAD ALL ALONG, HASN'T HE?!? Why do these terrible things have to happen to us? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy"

God, do I hate shareholders.

Re:I hate shareholders (4, Insightful)

ArchieBunker (132337) | about 2 years ago | (#40421371)

Honestly I'm convinced you could replace a typical CEO with either a monkey or magic 8 ball and get similar results.

Re:I hate shareholders (4, Insightful)

timeOday (582209) | about 2 years ago | (#40421413)

It's not fair to say that about Larry Page though. He invented page-rank and co-founded google. They were college students and made their own servers in pizza boxes. The worthless CEOs come in later, demanding the same pay as the founders who built the company from nothing.

Re:I hate shareholders (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421461)

Your magic 8 ball CEO (M8BCEO):

Interviewer: Is the software patent system broken?
M8BCEO: It is decidedly so.
Interviewer: I hear your company has abusive labor practices in your factories. Can you comment?
M8BCEO: My sources say no.
Interviewer: That seems evasive. Does a worker in your factories get paid more than $5 per day?
M8BCEO: Outlook good
Interviewer: Yes, and Windows bad. Sure. But the workers. Come on - do they get paid a living wage?
M8BCEO: My sources say no.

I just ran those through a software magic 8 ball - an Android app that was pulled from the market due to a C&D from Mattel, but that I still have installed. It doesn't look like the app can lie as convincingly as a real CEO.

Re:I hate shareholders (3, Insightful)

kiwimate (458274) | about 2 years ago | (#40422439)

And I'm honestly convinced that if the typical Slashdotter or man-on-the-street who makes this kind of asinine comment were given free rein to replace a typical CEO they'd decimate the company's value within a month, if they didn't have half the top executives resign first.

What do you think it actually takes to run a company? Tell me - if it's that easy, this should be trivial. Here, I'll get you started:

* Knowledge of accounting - yes, you need this no matter what industry you're in. You simply MUST understand capital versus expense, A/R and A/P, GAPP, ratios, asset depreciation, etc. Yes, you have a CFO - but you'd better know what they're talking about
* Knowledge of risk management.
* Extremely detailed and extremely broad knowledge of the industry you're in.

Drat, trackpad pressed "submit" (4, Informative)

kiwimate (458274) | about 2 years ago | (#40422465)

Okay, starting again...

* Knowledge of accounting - yes, you need this no matter what industry you're in. You simply MUST understand capital versus expense, A/R and A/P, GAPP, ratios, asset depreciation, etc. Yes, you have a CFO - but you'd better know what they're talking about
* Knowledge of risk management.
* Extremely detailed and extremely broad knowledge of the industry you're in.
* Knowledge of the *market* of your industry
* Strong analytics
* Strong skills in prioritizing
* Ability to explain very technical aspects of your industry to the layman
* Strategic wisdom
* Be a motivator
* Know where to ask for answers if you don't have them
* Ability to keep your mouth shut when necessary (talking to politicians and lobbyists, for instance)

Re:Drat, trackpad pressed "submit" (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40424241)

You can learn all that in any two year MBA program. It's really not rocket science. Can you honestly say anything on your list is challenging? Face it, executive compensation is totally out of control.

Re:Drat, trackpad pressed "submit" (1)

Areyoukiddingme (1289470) | about 2 years ago | (#40424557)

I've seen my fair share of CEOs, in both megacorporations and tiny ones. Guess how many of those bullet points even the best of them actually has? I make it... two. And I'm being optimistic. What you're listing there is a wishlist, not typical reality.

Or are you honestly going to sit there and tell me "Developers developers developers developers" was motivating?

Re:Drat, trackpad pressed "submit" (1)

Raenex (947668) | about 2 years ago | (#40426251)

Extremely detailed and extremely broad knowledge of the industry you're in.

Is that why you get these vastly overpaid "superstar" CEOs that move from industry to industry? CEOs are incredibly overpaid for the supply and demand for their position, probably for a few reasons.

One, it's a single position so the company can afford to spend a lot. Two, there's a lot of quid pro quo going on with the foxes guarding the henhouse.

And three, people aren't good judges of how valuable a person really is, along with the psychology that the CEO is an important position, so it must be worth lots and lots of money, instead of trying to do some supply and demand and picking somebody from the ranks of senior management and giving them a decent salary and not an obscene one.

If microsoft had used the 8ball (1)

IBitOBear (410965) | about 2 years ago | (#40426769)

Everything would be different, after all, the Magic 8-Ball has always known... Outlook not so good...

no voice.. (4, Funny)

TheGratefulNet (143330) | about 2 years ago | (#40421207)

no voice means Page has been reduced to ... (puts on sunglasses) ... a paragraph!

Re:no voice.. (1)

zippthorne (748122) | about 2 years ago | (#40421363)

So.. does he have to make a stupid pun whenever he toggles his shades, or does he just toggle his shades whenever a snarky pun about the victim of the week comes to mind?

The former would explain why he wears them indoors so much, but then again, so would the glass-walled police station with huge banks of yellow lamps all over the place.

Is this like when Kim Jong-il disappeared? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421209)

He had some minor health issues, rumors to the contrary were just western propaganda and tabloid journalism.

IRC (3, Funny)

K. S. Kyosuke (729550) | about 2 years ago | (#40421225)

Why can't the channel op voice him again?

Re:IRC (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421321)

What good is a voice if you are unable to... /me sets mode: +m

Re:IRC (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40422147)

Umm... that's exactly what a voice is good for, you can still speak when the channel is +m.

Re:IRC (2)

Crasoose (1621969) | about 2 years ago | (#40421411)

Maybe his fingers are broken too, that would explain why he hasn't posted any updates to his Google+ in a month.

Robot speak (5, Insightful)

WilyCoder (736280) | about 2 years ago | (#40421253)

Lost his voice? That doesn't seem to make Hawking miss any meetings...

Re:Robot speak (1)

mcavic (2007672) | about 2 years ago | (#40421431)

Yeah, but can you imagine Larry Page giving a meeting in Hawking's voice?

Re:Robot speak (2)

DrEldarion (114072) | about 2 years ago | (#40421699)

To be honest, it wouldn't be much different than his normal voice. Maybe he'd sound a little more robotic than froggy, I guess.

why (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421271)

Why do all of Microsoft's competitors get cancer? if the CIA can do it to Chavez and Castro then MS can do it to Apple and Google.

Re:why (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421589)

Microsoft Dr. Manhattan

Mere speculation (-1, Troll)

TheRealMindChild (743925) | about 2 years ago | (#40421283)

I'm guessing he was actually at a strip club in which he was writing off as a "business meeting". Eric had to come up with some ambiguous bullshit, because no one actually knew where or what the hell Larry was doing until after he got back.

Re:Mere speculation (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421311)

I'm guessing he was actually at a strip club in which he was writing off as a "business meeting".

If that had happened, him being in the club enjoying the show would be all over youtub... uhh, never mind.

How Watergate burglers got caught (1)

Latent Heat (558884) | about 2 years ago | (#40422651)

The recently retold story is that Squad 80 was supposed to respond to the call for help from the security guard dude about the break-in in progress. If Squad 80 pulled up to the Watergate with flashing lights and uniformed cops got out, the lookouts in the Ho Jo's would have tipped off the burglers. Squad 80 was nowhere to be found because the officers, OK, not in a strip club, but they were in some bar. Dispatch had to send a trio of undercover cops in place of the "uniforms." The lookouts call the burgler's on walkie-talkie radios, "Um, guys, what are you wearing?" "Business suits, why?" "Um, some guys who look like hippies are at your location with drawn guns."

The conspiratorial side of this was getting silly (2)

jo_ham (604554) | about 2 years ago | (#40421307)

The suggestions that he wasn't really sick, or that perhaps he should be willing to be tracked by his new employee GPS locating thing in a vague hint that he wasn't in the hospital reminds me of some of the more outlandish stuff about Steve Jobs in the last years of his life.

He's just a guy, and sometimes people get sick. It doesn't spell doom and gloom, or a sudden change in fortune or prophetic suggestion about the company's fortunes. It just means the local chemist will sell a few more Lemsip boxes near his house.

Re:The conspiratorial side of this was getting sil (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40422305)

Lemsip == Theraflu

  (American english translation)

He's had worse (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421333)

It's just a flesh wound.

This is news? (4, Informative)

slack_justyb (862874) | about 2 years ago | (#40421373)

Okay so he's got Laryngitis or something similar. Why the hell are people thinking this is news? I get Laryngitis from acid reflux from time to time, a couple of weeks Zantec usually clears it up, and I'm good for like the rest of the year.

I hate making Steve Jobs references, but I think news media is still hung up on mysterious health issues equaling pancreatic cancer or some similar terminal disease. Dude is unable to talk, and the company reports that it is not serious like most other health issues. For all we know the inability to speak is due to some contagious pathogen and he just wants to lay low so no one gets it, while he gets over it. I'm sure when Page was contemplating taking a leave of absence for a little spell, he didn't realize that he needed a press release to go along with it.

Of course there is the alternative theory could be that Page just had his meditation chamber [wikia.com] installed and he's taking it for a spin. You know, if you're in that camp where Google is evil and all.

Re:This is news? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421745)

Search giant CEO cant even find own voice, can you trust them to find your information?

Hear more on fox news at 11

Re:This is news? (1)

mjwx (966435) | about 2 years ago | (#40421783)

Okay so he's got Laryngitis or something similar.

This,

I've just gotten over a bout of the flu, at best I sounded like a 2 pack a day smoker, at worst you couldn't hear me properly 2 meters away. Its winter here in Oz but its entirely possible that he's just got the common cold, I've come back from the UK winter to Oz summer to get a cold 2 days after getting back.

it's probably just a common infliction that has caused his voice to be less then optimum, not like the cancerous fingers of Steve Jobs are grasping at him from beyond the grave.

Re:This is news? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421805)

What's wrong with meditation chambers? I want a meditation chamber.

Re:This is news? (1)

PCM2 (4486) | about 2 years ago | (#40422173)

There is the part where it means he won't be able to address customers, shareholders, analysts, press, or the public at the aforementioned "high-profile events." One of those events would be Google I/O, the much-ballyhooed developer event that kicks off in San Francisco next week. I, for one, expected Google's CEO to appear at the keynote to unveil whatever it is they plan to unveil there -- that would seem to be the appropriate way to do it -- but I guess he won't. Page already has something of a reputation as a reclusive, nerdy guy who doesn't like to address the public.

Re:This is news? (1)

thePowerOfGrayskull (905905) | about 2 years ago | (#40422711)

What's odd about it is that he's not showing up for these events - not simply avoiding speaking, but not showing/planning to show at all.

I don't think there's a conspiracy though - I think it's just burn-out. The dude's gotten so far from where he's started and he's really got no way back. Happens to people who find themselves shoehorned into management when what they really want to be doing is tech.

Uh Oh (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421381)

Not a major Uh Oh ... yet. We do not know the details. In that regard perhaps neither Page, Google (other than the board) nor 'the Board' know the details because the Doctor does not yet know the details.

'The Case of the Missing Voice'

Channeling Jobs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421387)

just a "Hormone imbalance"... nothing seriously wrong.

Reputation (2)

slasho81 (455509) | about 2 years ago | (#40421451)

I'd have doubts if this statement came from almost any other CEO of a major company. But I believe Page.

Re:Reputation (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421871)

Blind faith is potentially foolish. If it's a trivial condition (say, laryngitis) then why doesn't he just say so? I know that one's right to privacy in health matters should be inviolate, but... watch this space.

Don't worry about health of billionaires. (2)

leftie (667677) | about 2 years ago | (#40421527)

Billionaires get GREAT heath care

Worry about everyone else's health care.

Please mod pp anti-American. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421911)

Billionaires get GREAT heath care

Worry about everyone else's health care.

Another evil anti-God satanic "Leftie" opinion.

This is America, asshole (picture thousands of waving flags and American soldiers freedom-butchering non-Americans)!!

It's the land of the all-mighty Dollar. In America, only the rich matter (they own the politicians that gives us all are orders, after all).

You must be a ferriner, which makes you an enemy of all that is American (picture thousands more waving flags and thousands more American soldiers freedom-butchering non-American sub-humans and Dollars everywhere).

Get with the program Osama or we'll nuke ya or better yet send a buncha drone to wipe out anti-capitalist cancer like you and your sub-human country!

Freedumb(tm)! Freedumb(tm)! Freedumb(tm)!

I will not feed the trolls. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40422485)

I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls. I will not feed the trolls.

I will not.. but I really want to.

Message to whoever modded the above post down. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#40429691)

America is the land of the Chosen People (aka the Megarich) - the poor die because they are useless and God wants them to die! Only the megarich may live in America.

Killin' the poor and shootin' shit is what the gobbuernmint allows us to call do. It's called Freedumbkilling(tm) Picture millions of waving Swastika's, er, American Flags as the Freedumbkilling(tm) goes on!

Fuck off and die, anonymous evil asswipe - God will send you to hell to fry for eternity, where you belong.

Freedumbkilling(tm)! Freedumbkilling(tm)! Freedumbkilling(tm)!

FAUSTIAN DEALS COME DUE !! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421637)

And due dates always come fast !1 Ask Steve Jobs !!

the rumors confirm it (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421683)

larry page is dying

Larry has backup (2)

erice (13380) | about 2 years ago | (#40421777)

If Larry can't speak, it's not big deal to send in Sergey or Eric Schmidt. That's an advantage to rule by triumvirate. No single leader is indispensable. That is in sharp contrast to Apple where Steve Jobs was believed to be the on true voice and visionary of the company.

So what (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421877)

My neighbor has cancer and I see what chemotherapy is doing to him every time we meet. You'll make it to the news when you have something serious, goddammed spoiled kid.

--

Sundar Pichai is the utter asshole whose incompetence has resulted in the shutdown of Google's Atlanta office. Fuck you Sundar!

Re:So what (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421885)

> Sundar Pichai

that's what you get for hiring some hindu shitbag to do anything. get an ango-saxon or a jew to do if you want it done right.

Re:So what (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421991)

Yeah, well, when my neighbor had laryngitis last year he didn't go into hiding in a secret location he just had to talk softly for a week. Somethings fishy about this story.

A suggestion (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40421985)

He just needs to stop smoking those $1000 bills.

Should Not Have Swallowed (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40422199)

Always makes my throat sore.

I hope he doesn't die like Steve Jobs (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40422329)

Hopefully it's throat cancer this time.

Nothing wrong that a good ____ won't take care of? (1)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | about 2 years ago | (#40422377)

This sounds like a setup for a mediocre one liner:

"There is nothing seriously wrong with me, that a good _______ won't take care of"

Any suggestions . . . ? Google itself offered me this:

"there is nothing wrong with me that a little chocolate won't fix"

I am confident that Slashdotters are puerile enough to come up with something better.

Live fast, die young, leave an emaciated corpse (1)

Beeftopia (1846720) | about 2 years ago | (#40423615)

It's the Steve Jobs / Randy Pausch ("Last Lecture") effect. Relatively young, highly successful computing type suddenly laid low by pancreatic cancer. Folks can't help but speculate.

Larry Page! Your minions await your commands! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#40423713)

Jobs is dead! Long live the Jobs!

Enough with the CEO worship cult already (1)

musth (901919) | about 2 years ago | (#40424045)

I'm sick of these stories, proliferating everywhere these days in the tech press and the broader press, that pass off trivial bullshit about businesses' chief greedheads (and in some cases even VPs or directors) as interesting or important information. Larry can't speak and missed an appearance! Sergey was spotted on a yacht in the South Pacific!!! Did Fuckerberg have a pre-nup or not????

Get a fucking life, everyone. The billionaires surely don't give a shit about you getting ill or dying. In fact, they generally do everything they can to make the world's powerless less healthy and wealthy while making themselves more so. What happened during your development, that caused you to be sycophantically attuned to the adventures and travails of the 1%?

Get Well Soon... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#40429883)

Time for some cannabis oil Larry... :P

I'm not surprised (1)

dmesg0 (1342071) | about a year ago | (#40430353)

That's what happens to your throat when you eat Ice Cream Sandwich too much! Together with Frozen Yogurt!

It's Cancer (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#40432035)

Whenever they say it's not serious, it's cancer.

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