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Following FEMA's Zombie Preparedness Plan Could Land You On Terrorist List

samzenpus posted more than 2 years ago | from the fund-and-games dept.

The Military 527

colinneagle writes "As if warning a zombie apocalypse is imminent, FEMA hosted a webinar for its Citizen Corps encouraging emergency planners 'to use the threat of zombies — the flesh-hungry, walking dead — to encourage citizens to prepare for disasters.' The problem is many of those recommendations would have you do things that would flag you as a possible terrorist according to The DOJ's controversial 'Potential Indicators of Terrorist Activities' guidelines. From the article: 'Don't be silly by thinking you must actually break the law before cops deem you a potential threat and report you. Paying with cash comes under numerous "you might be a terrorist if" lists. Whatever you do, stocking up on non-perishable food as the feds advise should not include buying "meals ready to eat" since that, too, is potentially suspicious and means you might be a terrorist. "Suspicious activity" at military surplus stores includes making "bulk purchases" of "weatherproofed ammunition or match containers and meals ready to eat, as does suspicious purchasing of "night vision devices include night flashlights and gas masks."'"

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Are you a human being? (5, Insightful)

magsol (1406749) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288369)

So are terrorists. How convenient.

Re:Are you a human being? (5, Interesting)

History's Coming To (1059484) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288623)

FEMA produced the zombie plan campaign because people weren't taking the real risks (disease, natural disaster etc) seriously.

Terrorism works by making people overestimate the risks to get the desired behaviour.

Much as I admire their sense of humour and proactive stance, FEMA appear to be the terrorists here, according to current government definitions of "terrorist" at least.

Re:Are you a human being? (4, Insightful)

MickyTheIdiot (1032226) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288867)

An eye opening moment on this subject was when CNN was doing some story and was talking to a single mother of two or three who wasn't well educated and living around Atlanta. This was two or three years after 911 and her life's biggest fear was terrorism. She lived in the outskirts of Atlanta and didn't work near any real target but thought the suicide bomber was coming at any minute.

Re:Are you a human being? (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288987)

An eye opening moment on this subject was when CNN was ... talking to a [person] who wasn't well educated...

I think I spotted the problem. These people are already zombies in my book.

Re:Are you a human being? (5, Insightful)

History's Coming To (1059484) | more than 2 years ago | (#41289029)

Indeed. Things that (statistically) are more likely to kill an American than a terrorist attack:
  • Obesity
  • Cancer
  • Car accident
  • Non-terrorism based plane crash
  • Dogs
  • Cats
  • Somebody elses gun
  • Their own gun
  • Lack of healthcare
  • Peanuts
  • Alcohol
  • Stress

What's more likely to kill you than a terrorist? Worrying about a terrorist.

Re:Are you a human being? (0, Offtopic)

Razgorov Prikazka (1699498) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288675)

This is a kind of a reductio ad Hitlerum. The problem is that some people are just to serious about themselves.
Imagine that you truly believe that Muhammed was the greatest, biggest et ceterea, in the world. You and your friends believe in the *proper* imaginary bearded friend in the clouds. You and your little bearded friends are the only ones who really, fully and totally understand the truth, and everyone should obey you. Now keep that thought...
You also see that you and your country didn't contribute to anything at all for the last say 300 years, on any terrain except some pious womenbeatings.
Third you see the big Satan and his little helper (the west + Israel) getting people into space, inventing combustion engines, tv's, electric tin openers, microwaves, electricity, [expand the list as you like] and some of those inventions are used to kick your butt.

This is why there are Mohammedan-terrorists: they feel that the time is NOW or NEVER, and by all means should it be worthwhile to convert (or kill) the infidels.
Just wait it out, after a bit they will have their own renaissance and we'll all live peacefully here. Same goes for all of the mentalist by the way (ecomentalists, pro-life/choise-mentalists left/rightwing-mentalists, gun-nutters, and so on) and clearly even comic-book-mentalists believing that a zombie-apocalypse is on our hands... So it is not about being human, it is about being human & mental...

But I wont kill anyone for this believe, it is a mere opinion... :-)

Re:Are you a human being? (-1, Flamebait)

History's Coming To (1059484) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288765)

"Western Civilization" had their own rennaissance about three hundred years ago (much aided by Islamic/arabic texts from the previous few hundred years), and we still seem to have managed to produce a substantial culture which truly believes the Son Of God will return, the True Believers will be bodily raised up to heaven and the rest will experience Armageddon. Many of them believe it is their religious duty to bring the apocalypse about ASAP. Some of them hold high political positions.

Not sure why you used Islam to illustrate your point, Christianity seems to work better to me.

Re:Are you a human being? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288729)

It's a good thing I only by daytime flashlights.

Re:Are you a human being? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41289055)

It's a good thing I only by daytime flashlights.

You beat me to it.

Re:Are you a human being? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288743)

hahahaha americans are so fcking dumb, and they really think people are jealous of their "freedom" ??? hahaha omg.

Re:Are you a human being? (2)

X0563511 (793323) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288981)

Fancy that, the one who believes "The West" means "America" is calling people names.

Re:Are you a human being? (2)

ByOhTek (1181381) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288841)

I don't think it's quite that extreme. However, I pay cash as much as possible because many companies that handle credit card transactions are a bunch of assholes (admittedly, they've gotten better in the past few years). I just don't want to give them money. Oh, I see, not paying the corporate overlord tax. I see how that makes me a terrorist. Nevermind. I'll make sure to wear a ski mask next time I pay in cash, so nobody is confused.

A Muslim guy should make this a stand up routine. (3, Funny)

trout007 (975317) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288389)

Just rip off Foxworthy's act and replace redneck with terrorist.

You might be a terrorist if... (2)

cultiv8 (1660093) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288517)

Whatever you do, stocking up on non-perishable food as the feds advise should not include buying "meals ready to eat" since that, too, is potentially suspicious and means you might be a terrorist.

You shop at Costco!

Re:A Muslim guy should make this a stand up routin (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288561)

Just rip off Foxworthy's act and replace redneck with terrorist.

And if the Muslim comedian asked for permission from Jeff Foxworthy to use the "You Know You're a Redneck if..." he would probably get a chuckle and agree.

You know you're a terrorist if you stock up on MREs at the local military surplus store. Who else would eat that stuff?
You know you're a terrorist if you buy night-vision goggles from your neighbour at the flee market.
You know you're a terrorist if you USE CASH!

Thank you, I'll be here until #$#%#%$#%#$

Re:A Muslim guy should make this a stand up routin (3, Informative)

trout007 (975317) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288705)

You are messing up the delivery. It has to follow the format.

If you (insert joke here) , you might be a terrorist.

Re:A Muslim guy should make this a stand up routin (1)

CanHasDIY (1672858) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288931)

If you (insert joke here) , you might be a terrorist.

I don't get it...

Re:A Muslim guy should make this a stand up routin (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288983)

I've noticed this is actually really common. Just about anytime I hear people say "you might be a redneck" jokes they say it in the format "You might be a X if you Y" whereas I've only ever heard Foxworthy deliver them "If you ever Y, then you might be a redneck".

Funny, I was starting to think I was the only one who noticed other people were screwing up the format.

Re:A Muslim guy should make this a stand up routin (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288925)

Between the parent and the replies, you guys don't watch SNL? They did this years ago, in an opening where they had GW and someone else doing them back and forth.

Not suspicious (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288391)

Buying MREs doesn't mean you're a terrorist; it means you're a moron with no clue about food storage.
Or maybe a zombie. (BREs?)

Re:Not suspicious (2, Insightful)

MickyTheIdiot (1032226) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288431)

I have some MREs in my car and a few in my basement that get replaced periodically for emergencies.

I guess I am both a moron and a terrorist then. I can tell you I know nothing about food storage. I am not also stocking up for a siege. I live in an area with snow and I might get caught without food on accident.

Re:Not suspicious (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288573)

I think he meant you're a moron if you're buying them in bulk. Living off of them for a couple days to a couple weeks sure, but there are much better options out there for long term survival than MREs.

Re:Not suspicious (5, Interesting)

RevDisk (740008) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288657)


I plan on buying a few cases myself. I live in PA. We get snowstorms. I now live in an area with very large trees, with some hills. It might take a few days with a chainsaw to get my driveway open again if two very large trees fell across. I roll my eyes at the current zombie fad. I want to be warm, comfy and well fed for a couple weeks even if three feet of snow is dumped on me, like the Blizzard of 1996.

If that lands me on some list, you know what. Good. At this point, those lists should be seen as a challenge and not a behavior inhibitor. If you're not on at least three watchlists, your life is not particularly interesting. Take up a couple hobbies.

Re:Not suspicious (1)

houstonbofh (602064) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288991)

If that lands me on some list, you know what. Good. At this point, those lists should be seen as a challenge and not a behavior inhibitor. If you're not on at least three watchlists, your life is not particularly interesting. Take up a couple hobbies.

I like this... And if I get stuck on the never to be fixed no-fly list, so be it. Air travel has gotten so bad I drove from Houston to Orlando for vacation... Pay cash everywhere! Get "Cash Customer" on all the watch lists!

Re:Not suspicious (4, Insightful)

rtb61 (674572) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288669)

No, you are just gullible. MREs are basically tinned food in a bag. The reason the military want them in a bag is because they are lighter and take up marginally less space. For civilians where lightness nor space are a consideration, buy tinned food, you will save a lot of money and not be scammed by inflated profit margins just because you bought your food in bags rather than tins. Note you will also get greater variety.

Re:Not suspicious (4, Interesting)

jedidiah (1196) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288777)

Space and weight are always relevant, even if you are a civilian. This is why civilian canneries have started using the MRE approach with civilian food products.

Re:Not suspicious (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288793)

Canned food only has a 2 year shelf life, if you're lucky. Cheap MREs come with 5 years. The later is also a complete meal, not just the one item on the label.

Re:Not suspicious (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288837)

Like astronaut food, MREs have a longer shelf life than tinned food because they have been irradiated.

They also stand up much better to travel (don't dent), so they make a better choice for keeping in the car.

Re:Not suspicious (4, Informative)

cptdondo (59460) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288839)

They're also very calorie dense; each MRE is about 2,000 calories. They're made for rangers toting 80# rucks 12 hours a day, not wannabes sitting in the living room.

MREs are OK for a few days, but after that they will mess with your internal plumbing too they are so loaded with preservatives.

You're much better off buying the semi-instant rice, noodles, and potatos at the grocery store, and paying attention to the nutrition information.

Re:Not suspicious (1)

X0563511 (793323) | more than 2 years ago | (#41289017)

Lets not forget those exothermic MRE heaters.

Wake me up when a can of beans can cook itself...

Re:Not suspicious (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41289113)

Let's see how your can of pears holds up versus MREs in you leave them in your trunk in the range of -10 to 120 degrees.

Re:Not suspicious (2)

jellomizer (103300) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288609)

The difference between MRE and non-parishables is the idea that an MRE is something you will be eating in an expected warfare condition. (Where you don't have the opportunity to make a camp fire, and live in an area and move out quickly) vs. Canned foods, where you have supplies where you would have a camp fire to cook, and setup a place to either reuse the cans or have a place to leave your garbage.

Re:Not suspicious (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288721)

MRE is convinent for a quick meal that takes up a small space if you have the ability to heat or cook it if required. For longer term survivability, they are not a good choice. I have a kit similar to this [costco.com] . You can still prepare for an emergency with standard off the shelf stuff from your grocery store without looking like a paranoid terrorist. Cans of meat like SPAM and DAK/hormel canned hams, canned and dried soups, tuna in oil, fruits, vegtables, all have shelf lives in the 2-4 year range. All of them are fully cooked and can be eaten by themselves straight out of the cold can or can be mixed in various quanities and heated for a "supper". Dry boxs and bags of things like Mac and Cheese, powered milk, flour, pasta, rice have a 1-3 year shelf life and can last longer if needed. Keep some of this stuff on hand and rotate through the stuff as you use them and you will have a good start without looking suspicious.

Easy (3, Funny)

Sparticus789 (2625955) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288403)

I buy all of my MREs at the Commissary on military bases. Nobody gives you a second look, just like nobody looks twice if you are wearing camouflage, carrying a gun and large rucksack, or running at 6 am on a Saturday.

Re:Easy (5, Insightful)

Entropius (188861) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288463)

Thing is these are all things that civilians ought to be able to do without arousing suspicion, too.

Re:Easy (5, Funny)

TheRaven64 (641858) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288537)

I, for one, don't want to live in a society where being awake at 6am on a Saturday is not regarded as suspicious...

Re:Easy (4, Funny)

tom17 (659054) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288633)

I thought it was called 'being a parent'.

Ugh...

Re:Easy (5, Insightful)

MetalliQaZ (539913) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288959)

Being a parent requires you to have sex at least once. This is Slashdot.

Re:Easy (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288989)

WHAT?! You're a parent?
Did you know there is a chance you have already raped your child and not even realized it?! You could be doing it right now!

I find that mighty suspicious of you.
Being up at 6am and now I find out you are a parent?
Gonna have to ask you some questions tom17. It is a case of national security. Please come with me.
Where were you on 9/11?

Re:Easy (1, Interesting)

jellomizer (103300) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288719)

We have the right to bare arms, not the right to bare food.

We can get guns without arousing suspicion, but food, that you are opening up a new can of worms

Re:Easy (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288783)

... I wouldn't eat those worms if I were you....

Re:Easy (3, Funny)

maroberts (15852) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288831)

We have the right to bare arms, not the right to bare food.

We can get guns without arousing suspicion, but food, that you are opening up a new can of worms

As long as the rest of you isn't bare, I won't complain if you wear short sleeved shirts,
Bare food is dangerous and should be cooked thoroughly
I just hope that the tin I open isn't full of worms.

Re:Easy (1)

oldmac31310 (1845668) | more than 2 years ago | (#41289101)

So t-shirts are OK? I'm so relieved.

Re:Easy (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288523)

Running at 6 am they know you aren't a terrorist, if you were you'd be praying on a rug.

Re:Easy (3, Insightful)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288625)

According to TFA, the Military are terrorists -

- Purchasing large quantities of ammunition, hydrogen peroxide (check the infirmaries), model aircraft fuel, compressed fuels.
- Unusually large quantities of fertilizer (well, not so sure about that one, but maybe they are teaming up with the Department of Agriculture).
- Large quantities of watches, electronic items - have you seen all the electronic gizmos that the DOD orders?
- A combination of unusual items - describes every military base I've ever seen
- Firearms and ammunition out of season - ditto.
- Night vision and camouflage equipment - double ditto; they have the very best night vision stuff, totally jealous.
- Pipe - I'll bet that the average military base orders thousands of feet of pipe (and pipe nipples) every year; do they tell you what they are going to use it for?

We'd better alert the Department of Homeland Security!

Please add me to the list. (1, Interesting)

Hazel Bergeron (2015538) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288413)

I suggest everyone ask to be added to the list.

Re:Please add me to the list. (3, Insightful)

cpghost (719344) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288601)

Even though it was a myth [wikipedia.org] , the idea is great. Once everyone ends on this list, it becomes meaningless.

Re:Please add me to the list. (3, Insightful)

XxtraLarGe (551297) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288789)

Once everyone ends on this list, it becomes meaningless.

That sounds like a good idea, but there's always selective enforcement.

Re:Please add me to the list. (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288681)

What makes you think we aren't, citizen?

Um, yeah (5, Insightful)

Quiet_Desperation (858215) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288451)

*Actually* preparing for a zombie apocalypse should get you placed an some other lists as well.

Re:Um, yeah (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288555)

Yea, screw that, prepare for another LA riots incident. Zombies are far less scary than actual people.

Re:Um, yeah (3, Interesting)

OverlordQ (264228) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288663)

*Actually* preparing for a zombie apocalypse should get you placed an some other lists as well.

Out of the Zombie Preparedness groups, you *might* have a handful of people who are actually preparing for that. Zombies is to keep it humorous.

From What is Zombie Squad? [zombiehunters.org]

Our goal is to educate the public about the importance of personal preparedness and self reliance, to increase its readiness to respond to disasters such as Earthquakes, Floods, Terrorism or Zombie Outbreaks. We want to make sure you are prepared for any crisis situation that might come along in your daily life which may include having your face eaten by the formerly deceased.

Re:Um, yeah (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41289079)

Leonard is praying Sheldon never finds out about this group...

Re:Um, yeah (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288715)

Insurance for your car, check.
Insurance for your house, check.
Health insurance, check.
Short term disability, check.
Food, nah, I'm good..

Re:Um, yeah (3, Funny)

Reasonable Facsimile (2478544) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288769)

*Actually* preparing for a zombie apocalypse should get you placed an some other lists as well.

I'm not insane. My mother had me tested.

Re:Um, yeah (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288801)

*Actually* preparing for a zombie apocalypse should get you placed an some other lists as well.

Preparing for the zombie apocalypse, while fake, also prepares you for most any other disaster (natural or man-made) that you could have. It just adds a someone humorous element to the idea.

Re:Um, yeah (1)

mark-t (151149) | more than 2 years ago | (#41289049)

By its very nature, however, this humorous element is something that is not practical to take remotely seriously by somebody who has any grounding in reality.

While yes, it's entirely technically true that adequately preparing for a hypothetical zombie apocalypse would, in fact, prepare you for just about any sort of disaster or emergency where you might need to survive without outside aid for some time, if such an apocalypse is actually your motivation behind such preparations, then either you may not be taking the issue of being prepared for a genuinely possible disaster as seriously as you might need to, or else you have a psychosis that prevents you from distinguishing between reality and fiction.

Preparing for disaster is fine. Joking about it afterward and saying you're prepared for the zombie apocalypse is fine. Actually using such an apocalypse as motivation to do such preparing is not, and by extension, neither is recommending such a motivation to others.

YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288465)

Home of the scared (3, Interesting)

Alioth (221270) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288471)

A while back something mildly Kafkaesque happened to a friend of mine, who owned a light aircraft (a rather old tatty one).

He bought a few items from Aircraft Spruce and Specialty - some paints for fabric-covered light planes, and a few items of hardware, to perform some general maintenance and tidy-up. They duly arrive by courier, and he picked them up from his apartment complex's management office. A couple of days later the FBI turn up at his apartment to check whether he's a terrorist! Apparently, the apartment manager saw a box from Aircraft Spruce & Specialty, saw my friend pick it up (who's skin colour is not perfectly white, somewhere between white and hispanic) and called the FBI who came out and investigated him.

Did he disappear? Was he tortured? (2, Insightful)

SmallFurryCreature (593017) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288577)

No? Then the system of checks and balances still works.

People who talk about the gestapo never know what this truly means.

The Gestapo doesn't ask if you are guilty. They decide, then torture you for information or just kill you. And if a second after they decided, they get proof from god that your innocent? No difference. THAT IS DICTATORSHIP.

Everything else is freedom with a legal system. And if you thought your legal system doesn't mean things can happen like being arrested on a mere suspicion and questioned for hours. Then you have just lived a very sheltered life. Any normal country with a legal system gives the police the duty and the powers to investigate, arrest and question to follow leads. Just hope you are never a subject of a investigation or will you will learn just what it means to live in a system with a working legal system.

Then again, since the line for emigration to places like Somalia where there is no police who can question you just for receiving a package, is non-existent, I get the feeling that either Somalia government is high efficient at processing immigration requests, or people prefer a country with a working legal system even if it sucks if you ever get caught in its gears.

Re:Did he disappear? Was he tortured? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288871)

Way to go off on a rant. Can't you read or didn't you bother? The OP says nothing about gestapo or dictators. He merely gave an example of his friend being subject to an FBI investigation (and probably now on a watch list) for several years because he wasn't white.

Here's a fact for you: people aren't interested in moving to war zones, durrrr!

Re:Home of the scared (3, Interesting)

Pieroxy (222434) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288615)

The DOJ came knocking to my door one morning because 3 weeks earlier (11-sept-2003) my dad rented a car and was in northern California taking pics of a landscape at a major tourist location. In the landscape, there was a dam. My father is perfectly white-skinned but doesn't speak much English.

My wife answered the door (I was at work) and they kept her busy for a good 1h15m playing bad cop good cop and not telling her what it was all about. Only in the end did they reveal the purpose of their visit and we were able to piece it all together.

Re:Home of the scared (5, Informative)

CanHasDIY (1672858) | more than 2 years ago | (#41289099)

Best advice I can give: Never talk to cops. [youtube.com] Sounds like your wife got first hand experience on why.

For future reference, if you ever have anyone claiming to be with law enforcement come to your door claiming they want to talk/look around, you tell them you want to see a warrant first. If they fail to produce a warrant, you can be assured that either A) they have no case and are on a phishing expedition, of which you are not required to hold the net, or B) they aren't really LEO's, but rather con artists trying to work you over.

Either way, if they fail to produce a warrant ("we just want to talk" is a popular diversionary tactic to trick you into volunteering information you have no legal obligation to give), politely inform them they are trespassing and request they remove themselves from the property before you call the real cops.

Oh, and this should all be done through a mail slot or chain-locked door - many LEO's are under the impression that if their entry into your home isn't physically barricaded, they can just waltz right in without explicit permission (they can't, unless you've got some blatantly illegal shit sitting out where they can see it).

Better safe than sodomized.

zee vhat ztupid crap happens when you let hollywoo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288487)

nuff said

You're suspicious (4, Funny)

JustAnotherIdiot (1980292) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288491)

By reading this article you're suspicious.
By reading this comment you're even more suspicious.
Want to admit something, terrorist?

To be fair, the night flashlight (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288495)

is obviously a piece of highly specialized hardware. Civilians should only have access to standard flashlights.

Eh, seen it before (4, Interesting)

TWX (665546) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288497)

Back in the nineties there was a group that called themselves "Viper Team". They were firearms enthusiasts, and among the things they did were to make a video on how to blow up buildings. They had no explosives, they and no intent, but they used public and government buildings in their video as to what parts of the buildings were structural and how those areas support the building.

There was, of course, an infiltration investigation. The infiltrator apparently tried to incite the members into criminal acts, specifically, robbing a bank. By the end of the investigation, only one person spent time in prison, and that was because he had modified an AR-15 to full-auto. But, people who were friends with this man and others in the group probably had their phones tapped and all of the various groups around these people were nervous.

Oh, by the way, did I mention that the convicted man and the others were also heavily involved in Fandom, so basically all Fandom around here was somewhat investigated? That's basically why I know about it, because there are still a lot of bitter people in local Fandom because of this.

The media referred to the group as, "The Viper Militia". Having been acquainted with some of these people that's a bit of a stretch. Even using "Team" in their name was a stretch, they were about as organized as a clowder of cats, as most Fandom is.

So, in my opinion, it's all a big friggin' joke.

Night Flashlight?? (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288505)

So that has been my problem all along. I always have used my day flashlights at night, now I know what I was doing wrong.

Re:Night Flashlight?? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288659)

Wouldn't a day flashlight actually have to be more powerful to compete with the sun?

Buying bulk purchases of food (2)

cpu6502 (1960974) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288513)

There have been numerous reports of the Homeland inSecurity demanding customer lists from bulk supply stores/online merchants. Some stores say "no" but some other stores happily hand it over. Then the customers on the list get visits from the DHS officers requesting permission to search those homes.

Re:Buying bulk purchases of food (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288621)

I heard somebody say that they knew somebody that said Homeland inSecurity demanding customer lists from bulk supply stores/online merchants. Some stores say "no" but some other stores happily hand it over. Then the customers on the list get visits from the DHS officers requesting permission to search those homes.

FTFY

citation needed

The whole fucking world is a terrorist. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288521)

Just in case there is one.

Why would a terrorist need ready to eat meals???? (2)

brunes69 (86786) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288527)

Seriously? I can't think of a reason.

Terrorism is usually something done in a very short time window. I don't think the hijackers on 9/11 took a coffee break to cook up some ramen in the middle of the flight.

Re:Why would a terrorist need ready to eat meals?? (1)

Cinder6 (894572) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288741)

Not to mention the fact that many of the acts of terrorism these days involve suicide bombers. Maybe the assumption is that terrorists all live in secluded bunkers in the middle of nowhere and don't have ready access to McDonald's?

What I like is "buying firearms outside of season". Okay, hunting rifles, I can sort of see--except for the fact that many gun stores hold sales in the off season in order to keep customers coming in. But what about handguns? Is there a "handgun season" I don't know about? Some high-caliber revolvers are used in boar hunting, but that's all I know. I guess the take-away is, "Legally own a firearm, which the Constitution lets you do? You might be a terrorist."

One thing that should be mentioned, though, is the key phrase: "large quantities". The list mentions propane gas. Just buying one tank for your family BBQ isn't going to arouse suspicion. Buying 50 canisters, though, might--and, honestly, even I would raise my eyebrows at that. My favorite part, though: "Shoplifting or purchasing [...] several large aircraft, engines, or transmitters". If a guy manages to fit several large aircraft under his coat, he deserves to keep them.

Mormon's are Terrorists (5, Funny)

Nemesisghost (1720424) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288589)

Our church leaders have continually told us that we should have both a 72 hr kit and a year's food storage. Its not uncommon for a food storage order make its rounds at church every few months or for there to be classes taught during the week on canning and food storage meal prep. Tack on the fact that besides organizations like Walmart & the Red Cross, we have the largest food production & distribution network, all in house and mostly staffed by volunteers.

I guess all of that make us one of the largest terrorist networks in the world. And here you thought that our missionaries were just there to annoy you with offers of Mormon Videos & a copy of the Book of Mormon. Never underestimate the clean white shirt, pressed dark pants, tie and the infamous black & white name tag.

Re:Mormon's are Terrorists (0)

stevegee58 (1179505) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288703)

Well I'd be suspicious of any cult that perpetrated a massacre of unarmed settlers and attemped an armed uprising against the federal government too.

Re:Mormon's are Terrorists (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288999)

attemped an armed uprising against the federal government too

The Utah War? [wikipedia.org] Biggest embarrassment of the Buchanan administration.
Armed uprising? Oh, please. The Mormons ran away to be left alone. They armed themselves when they heard the army was coming to attack them.

Re:Mormon's are Terrorists (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41289093)

and attemped an armed uprising against the federal government

Yesh, you try to overthrow the federal government once and they never let you forget it.

***grumble, grumble, grumble***

Re:Mormon's are Terrorists (1)

silas_moeckel (234313) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288771)

A 72 hour kit is a fairly basic safety precaution. A years food storage is fairly reasonably especially for people that are growing a significant portion of there own food.

Re:Mormon's are Terrorists (0)

HornWumpus (783565) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288947)

I have long believed that anti-gang laws should be applied to Mormon missionaries.

They wear colors (white shirt and tie, dark pants, name tag), hang around in groups and while they aren't very loud in their threats I've heard of the 'outer darkness', which sounds intimidating to me.

That said they've left me alone for the last couple of years, even though I live across the street from a meeting hall. Apparently I know too many uncomfortable facts about 'Joseph Smith' (laudanum addict, tarred and feathered and run out of the town on a rail for what he suggested to the 15 year old daughter of the town banker, 10 years AFTER receiving the revelation. Translation errors in the BOM that correspond to Smiths copy of the bible.)

It must be tough to believe in a religion which is so recent secular records remain. Look on the bright side, at least you aren't a clam.

Re:Mormon's are Terrorists (1)

MickyTheIdiot (1032226) | more than 2 years ago | (#41289041)

Oddly, you left out the magic underwear.

Potential Indicators of Terrorist Activities=PITA (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288605)

You would think there would be some sort of acronym checker to prevent things like this...

Re:Potential Indicators of Terrorist Activities=PI (1)

mooingyak (720677) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288969)

Dunno, I think that one fits pretty well... "Hey guys, we've got another PITA to investigate."

Paying cash (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288613)

If paying cash for lots of items lands a person on a watch list, then every person I know must be on the list. Likewise, lots of people stock up on food and ready to eat meals, either in case of emergency or just to avoid cooking from time to time. So I guess we are all dangerous.

Re:Paying cash (1)

stevegee58 (1179505) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288813)

How can you end up on a watchlist paying cash? You pay cash and you walk out with your stuff.

At this point... (2)

Scutter (18425) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288637)

Wouldn't it be easier to just add EVERYONE to the terror list? I was about to say "and drop off those who have been cleared", but I couldn't stop laughing long enough to add it.

Night Flashlights (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41288651)

"night vision devices include night flashlights and gas masks."'

Instead of those highly specialized day flashlights...

Re:Night Flashlights (1)

HornWumpus (783565) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288963)

You won't believe how hard it was to invent the 'flashdark'.

Re:Night Flashlights (2)

Dr_Barnowl (709838) | more than 2 years ago | (#41289027)

I think they mean infrared flashlights that will show up on IR goggles but not to the unaided eye.

Paying cash is a problem? (1)

cpghost (719344) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288661)

Paying with cash comes under numerous "you might be a terrorist if" lists.

Glad that cash is still widely used in Europe and in the rest of the world. It would be a sad day when you can't buy something without giving up your privacy or when you can't buy something with cash and immediately being flagged as a terrorist suspect. Frankly, wtf?

Re:Paying cash is a problem? (1)

HornWumpus (783565) | more than 2 years ago | (#41289009)

30 years now. Europe too. Try and buy a new car with cash. If the dealer is smart they will have you break it into payments (under the trigger limit) just to avoid hassle. If they do, both the dealer and the buyer are guilt of money laundering.

Kinda interested. (5, Funny)

Chatsubo (807023) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288685)

TFA's 2 points about over/under - interest in radio controlled aircraft, I can see it now: "Good morning sir, I'm somewhat interested in radio controlled aircraft and would like to purchase one. Now, don't get me wrong, I do have a interest that sits above just a casual interest, however I'm also not overly interested in them, in fact, I'd say I'm about just the right amount of interested in radio controlled aircraft to buy one, but not so interested that it'd be suspicious.... say, who are you calling?"

Self fulfilling (1)

CQDX (2720013) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288691)

The suspicious activity list is just another sign of the decline of our society. Time to stock up...

If I'm walking dead (1, Insightful)

Lucas123 (935744) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288697)

Why would I care if they think I'm a terrorist?

So, here's a question... (4, Interesting)

91degrees (207121) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288869)

What should the DOJ do to prevent possible future terror attacks? Should they just be accepted as a cost of freedom? Rejected as a highly improbably occurrence? If not, what sort of indicators should they look for before investigating further?

Pretty general terrorist criteria (1)

realisticradical (969181) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288873)

With a list like that I'm surprised that the noise level isn't so high it makes the data pretty much useless.

You might be a terrorist if you're buying freeze dried meals, survival equipment, ammo (especially out of season), camouflage gear and night vision equipment, etc (all from the list). Then again you might be preparing for a backpacking trip, a cost conscious hunter, prepping for unlikely events, or any number of things normal people are extremely likely to do.

PITA? (3, Insightful)

clemdoc (624639) | more than 2 years ago | (#41288957)

'Potential Indicators of Terrorist Activities' guidelines? PITA guidelines? Well done!

Way to go L.A.! (3, Funny)

sootman (158191) | more than 2 years ago | (#41289051)

"... the LAPD adopted 15 of the DOJ's ridiculous lists regarding 'Potential Indicators of Terrorist Activities.' "

Yeah, because nothing ever goes wrong in L.A. that citizens would need to be prepared for.

Except for riots. And earthquakes. And the whole place burning down every year. But other than that, it's just like you see on TV.

Alex Jones screwed the pooch (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#41289103)

Comparing a network world blog response to the infowars response network world cleaned house pointing out state sponsored terrorism scare mongering, highlighting a program aimed at conditioning the public to accept more intrusion and overreach to combat the terrorism boogieman.

All of this while Alex and crew pissed away their opportunity on the phrase "real survivors" (soundex "real men") followed by a list of sponsors and reciprocating friends.

http://www.infowars.com/cdcs-zombie-apocalypse-propaganda/ [infowars.com]

Sad... really quite sad.

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