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80,000lbs of Walnuts Purloined In Northern California

samzenpus posted about a year and a half ago | from the that's-a-lot-of-baklava dept.

Crime 127

Penurious Penguin writes "While not quite as epic or bitter as losing 600 barrels of maple syrup — in two separate heists, 80,000lbs of walnuts have been stolen in Northern California since last week. The heist was discovered after the walnuts failed to reach their destinations in Miami, FL and Dallas, TX. If you happen to see a large man (approximately 6' 2") driving a white semi-trailer and munching on $300,000 worth of walnuts, it may be the villain. Officers with highly trained squirrels have yet to be posted at interstate weigh-stations."

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127 comments

That's nutty! (3, Funny)

java_dev (894898) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849793)

Thank you, I'll be here all week!

Re:That's nutty! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849889)

That's too bad because that joke was just lame, dude. Here's one that's lame but not as much:

What kind of man with a thick Russian accent and stands 6'2 would steal 80,000 pounds of walnuts?

A real nutjob!

Paulie Walnuts (3, Interesting)

dsavitsk (178019) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850067)

From Wikipedia [wikipedia.org] ; "Paulie got his nickname 'Paulie Walnuts' due to hijacking a truck in the early 1990s which he believed to be filled with television-sets, but only contained walnuts."

Re:Paulie Walnuts (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41850125)

Sopranos, nuts, it's beginning to make sense.

Re:Paulie Walnuts (5, Informative)

thej1nx (763573) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850455)

I know the next big heist that is going to happen. Tonnes of salt is about to go missing next!

How do I know this, you ask? That is because, I have deciphered the nefarious plans of this master-villain!

He is making a lifetime-supply of maple glazed walnuts!!!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ellie-krieger/maple-glazed-walnuts-recipe/index.html [foodnetwork.com]

Re:Paulie Walnuts (1)

BrentRBrian (582948) | about a year and a half ago | (#41851355)

Bravo

THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS! (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41850393)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7W3gd7gJUw

Re:That's nutty! (3, Funny)

roc97007 (608802) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850489)

...and I will be somewhere else...

Re:That's nutty! (1)

crazyjj (2598719) | about a year and a half ago | (#41852065)

Let's just say there is a group of very clever squirrels who are definitely not going to be hungry this winter.

Squirrels EVOLVING!

Sometimes you feel like a nut.... (0)

starcraftsicko (647070) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849805)

Crackers.

Ok.. Seriously!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849809)

Who would you go to to fence something like that?

Local farmer's market ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849899)

The load has been subdivided, subdivided again, ... and eventually small quantities show up at local farmer's markets across California.

Re:Ok.. Seriously!! (1)

ozmanjusri (601766) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849951)

Apple.

Re:Ok.. Seriously!! (1)

Pseudonym (62607) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850161)

Waldorf iSalad. You heard it here first.

Re:Ok.. Seriously!! (2)

hutsell (1228828) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849995)

Who would you go to to fence something like that?

No fencing required; obviously this a conspiracy. Here's a quote from The Straightdope:

"Authorities believe the culprit is the same person who also picked up another load of walnuts days earlier from Los Molinos. Those walnuts were intended for Texas, but also disappeared."

Is it an agent working for China, the largest producer of walnuts, next being the U,.S., wanting to control the Great Paper Tiger?
Could it be someone trying to beat the commodities market pricing for walnuts, to cover a loss or to make a profit?

If it turns out to be either one of those, I will ... laugh-out-loud.

Re:Ok.. Seriously!! (2)

jd2112 (1535857) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850021)

"Authorities believe the culprit is the same person who also picked up another load of walnuts days earlier from Los Molinos. Those walnuts were intended for Texas, but also disappeared."

Good. There's enough nuts in Texas already. At least they weren't headed to California.

Re:Ok.. Seriously!! (3, Funny)

Penurious Penguin (2687307) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850051)

I find it suspicious that your UID ( hutsell ) is merely an "n" away from a permuted nutshell. Who are you working for?

Re:Ok.. Seriously!! (1)

jkflying (2190798) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850751)

No, even worse. nutsell obviously means he is the one who stole them and is now trying to sell the walnuts!

Re:Ok.. Seriously!! (1)

peragrin (659227) | about a year and a half ago | (#41851205)

The same group that stole hundreds of thousands of gallons of maple syrup from the Canadian strategic reserve?

Folks I believe there is a new supervillian out there. and he is after our food.

knock, knock (4, Funny)

badford (874035) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849813)

who's there?

Walnut.

Walnut Who?

Walnut too strong, don't lean on t.

(hahahahaha. I crack myself up. get it? walnut? *crack* myself up? come on! )

I smell onions? (2)

drcheap (1897540) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849837)

What is this place, The Onion?

Okay, so maybe it really did happen...why the F is it on ./?

Nerds could care less about a truckload of nuts.

Re:I smell onions? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849853)

How about you suck on these nuts then, faggot.

Re:I smell onions? (1)

mrclisdue (1321513) | about a year and a half ago | (#41851053)

...why the F is it on ./?

...meanwhile, in a cheetosbag-strewn basement...

How about you suck on these nuts then, faggot.

Understand now?

cheers,

Re:I smell onions? (2)

drcheap (1897540) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849863)

./

lol
oops

Might as well be called that anyway ;)

"Dotslash, news about nuts, not that it matters."

Re:I smell onions? (1)

Penurious Penguin (2687307) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849959)

./

You have to type ./ in the nut directory to execute the script ;)

Re:I smell onions? (1)

Penurious Penguin (2687307) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849927)

Nerds could care less about a truckload of nuts.

Alright, I understand. If not for the two maple syrup stories recently posted on /., I probably would have let this one go. But I'm a sucker for humor and enjoyed the commentary from the syrup stories, so I thought I'd submit it.

Re:I smell onions? (2)

ThatsMyNick (2004126) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849987)

It is a good article to submit to slashdot. Everyone can use a good laugh. I would have expected the editors to have posted it in idle, rather than YRO though.

Re:I smell onions? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41850493)

Yeah, seriously. YRO? Do I have a right to walnuts? Or these walnuts were online? It just makes no sense at all.

One might even say putting it in YRO is nuts, and then the horrible metajoke reveals itself.

I felt a great disturbance in the force, as though millions of voices groaned aloud in pun-agony and were suddenly silenced.

Re:I smell onions? (1)

uvajed_ekil (914487) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850313)

Alright, I understand. If not for the two maple syrup stories recently posted on /., I probably would have let this one go. But I'm a sucker for humor and enjoyed the commentary from the syrup stories, so I thought I'd submit it.

That's not all: fuck walnuts. Maple syrup is AWESOME, and walnuts suck. Maple trees are also some of the most beautiful and varied, while walnut trees (especially black walnuts, no racism or parallels to humans intended) are a bunch of fucking parasites that grow damn near everywhere you don't want them to, shit rocks all over your property, and will sprout up right next to desirable trees and attempt to choke them out.

More maple syrup stories are a-okay, but the next time I see a story about walnuts on /. I'm switching to reddit. Please, don't make me do it.

Re:I smell onions? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41850607)

Fuck & You

Black Walnut ice cream is awesome.

Walnuts on brownies? Proof of divinity.

Can anybody hate Walnut Honey Shrimp? Improssibru!

Don't even get me started on the Walnut-chocolate combinations out there... and OOOHHH! Pumpkin Walnut Cheesecake..... delicious.

Maple is pretty good, and pairs well with bacon, but seriously... walnuts FTW.

Re:I smell onions? (1)

Ol Biscuitbarrel (1859702) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850847)

Black walnut trees are so valuable thieves sometimes steal them with helicopters, believe it or not.

Walnuts are nice in ice cream, too.

Re:I smell onions? (5, Funny)

king neckbeard (1801738) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850079)

Between this and the maple syrup theft, there is obviously a comic book supervillain on the loose. Thus, it's comic book news, which is news for nerds.

Re:I smell onions? (2)

AK Marc (707885) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850463)

When 100,000 gallons of pancake mix is stolen, we know he's trying to take over the world with walnut pancake robots.

Re:I smell onions? (1)

chrismcb (983081) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850675)

I'm guessing someone is trying to set a world record with the largest walnut waffle

Re:I smell onions? (1)

Pseudonym Authority (1591027) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850729)

This is clearly a copy cat. This is simply too much like the time Lex Luthor stole 40 cakes [google.com] for it to be someone with an original idea.

Re:I smell onions? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41850085)

Yep. News about this sort of NUT would be OK on Slashdot: http://www.networkupstools.org/ [networkupstools.org]

Stolen walnuts no, unless it's done in a very very interesting or spectacular manner, or in an epic scale.

The maple syrup one is somewhat interesting because it was a huge amount (in absolute quantity and also relative to the market supply), so in theory us nerd types could have more interesting discussions on how to steal such large amounts (and get away with it).

Whereas this stupid nut job is just two truck loads.

  It's news if he does 100 truck loads (then it approaches the scale of the maple syrup heist - with the difference that the theft already got detected).

Re:I smell onions? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41850153)

Let me connect it for you.

Walnuts are found at Walnut Creek.

Walnut Creek is where CDROM.com was located.

CDROM.com was the number one source of Linux distros when Slashdot.org was founded.

Ergo...the crime was committed by none other than Linus Torvalds.

Stinks of tree fruit. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41850169)

You didn't know? For some reason nerds [wikipedia.org] really [wordpress.com] like [yelp.com] walnuts. [merchantcircle.com]

Re:I smell onions? (1)

stephanruby (542433) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850235)

Okay, so maybe it really did happen...why the F is it on ./?
Nerds could care less about a truckload of nuts.

What are you talking about? A Russian man-in-the-middle attack on Nothern California's broken super highways? This has Slashdot written all over it.

Plus, this happened twice in the space of two days. This is either an inside job, or the correct purchase numbers were obtained through social engineering. Of course, the inside job theory is probably the most likely scenario, but to us Slashdoters, the possible Social engineering aspect of the theft will be the only interesting part (even if that's not what really happened).

Re:I smell onions? (1)

sumdumass (711423) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850811)

Perhaps inside job means infected computer giving remote access via bot net which got the PO numbers and this is a test run for more expensive items? It would be interesting if some of these infections with no apparent payload was for this purpose.

Re:I smell onions? (2)

Artifakt (700173) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850331)

You put this together with the theft from Canada's Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve and it starts forming a pattern, a pattern that says, to the trained eye, that these are steps in some mad scheme, some mad scheme which will eventually show itself to the general public in the form of gigantic robotic myrmidons armed with razor edged walnut waffle of death dispensers on every street corner as some spurious "Doctor" or "Professor" hijacks the media to present his ultimatum to the good people of Apple-Pie-ville and the rest of the world. That's news for nerds in a nutshell, baby!

Recipe's third ingredient exposes dastardly plan (4, Informative)

girlinatrainingbra (2738457) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850587)

There are too many possible recipes that use maple syrup and walnuts. It may, however, be possible, to infer what the evil villain's dastardly plan once we learn what the third batch ingredient heist is.

If it had involved eight large tankers of oil (one each of lime, cassia oil, lemon oil, nutmeg oil, coriander oil, neroli oil, and lavendar oil, plus 3 tankers of food grade gum arabic , then there plans would be obvious:

They're planning on making industrial quantities of Open Cola [wikipedia.org] , and they know all of the ingredients of the GPL'ed recipe for open cola from [wikipedia.org] OpenCola. Next they'll be stealing a large tanker of vinegar and a large truck with calcium-carbonate in order to create the vast quantities of fizzy water to reconstitute with the syrup.

Re:Recipe's third ingredient exposes dastardly pla (1)

Another, completely (812244) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850645)

Sugar and cream. The goal is clearly maple walnut ice cream. I just can't work out why. Where is Adam West when we need him?

The cream will be last because it spoils, so watch out for a massive sugar heist next.

Ice Cream (1)

JakartaDean (834076) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850845)

Maybe not the walnuts themselves, but the pattern is emerging... Maple Syrup, Walnuts, next we'll see sugar missing, then cream. Look for a back-of-the-woods monster ice cream maker and someone's gonna corner the market on maple walnut ice cream, one of my favorites. Won't someone think of the children...

Re:I smell onions? (3, Informative)

wonkey_monkey (2592601) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850885)

Nerds could care less about a truckload of nuts.

So they do care, then?

Re:I smell onions? (1)

antifoidulus (807088) | about a year and a half ago | (#41852219)

Meh, they are just too lazy to care less.

Re:I smell onions? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41851483)

my snackbox on the desk begs to differ

Re:I smell onions? (1)

dywolf (2673597) | about a year and a half ago | (#41851805)

I care. Walnuts are one of the bigger crops of northern california. Now it maybe should be posted under the "idle" category, but still. It doesnt have to be all circuits all day. erally imo I care more about this than the constant posts about google/samsung/motorloa all suing each other (oh look, another lawsuit...and in other non-news, humans breathe air"). that stuff is barely relevant to me and imo is more suitable for a lawyer site.

Hey i know the guy who did this! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849839)

His wife is a real nutcracker.

Keep this shit off of slashdot (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849841)

Please?

Re:Keep this shit off of slashdot (1)

Impy the Impiuos Imp (442658) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850025)

Eh, many nerds do consider nuts after years of no GF.

Where in the world... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849845)

...is Carmen Sandiago?

Seized in the name of (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849867)

Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the talking Walnut!

This is modern terrorism. (4, Funny)

Lord_of_the_nerf (895604) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849875)

Hitting America where it hurts....the nuts.

Re:This is modern terrorism. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849925)

haha, If only I had mod points.

Rocky and Bullwinkle will save us! (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41850011)

We need to appeal to their talent for finding what was once lost. They can team up with Department of Homeland Security, from their new insane asylum headquarters (St. Elizabeth's Hospital [wikipedia.org] ), to locate the missing Freedom Walnuts, and save Democracy in time for the election. Please Rocky and Bullwinkle, save us!

Re:This is modern terrorism. (2)

jaymzter (452402) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850053)

Sounds like a hard nut to crack. Especially since there seems to be a wave of sorts going on:

Eight people were arrested Friday morning for attempting to steal 700 pounds of walnuts from an orchard west of Porterville, the Tulare County Sheriff's Department said.

About 10 a.m. the sheriff's department received a call about a theft in progress at the corner of Avenue 152 and Road 208 and arrived in time to stop the would-be walnut robbers. The walnuts were recovered at the orchard. Some were already loaded in three vehicles, the sheriff's department said.

The owner said he did not give anyone permission to remove walnuts from his orchard. They were valued at $1,020.

Re:This is modern terrorism. (2)

sconeu (64226) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850193)

Damn, all these jokes just write themselves, don't they.

Unfortunately, they were written by slashdotters instead.

not stolen (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849913)

These nuts weren't stolen... north California? These nuts HATCHED.

Answer: Al Gore! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849921)

Since ditching his wife and kids he is now attempting to corner the Walnut Market ... he has already cornered and usurped the 'Fruit Cake Nut' Market.

8D

Squirrels... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849937)

"...Officers with highly trained nut sniffing squirrels have yet to be posted at interstate weigh-stations."
HTH
FTFY!

c is for cookie (1)

xpatch (1188047) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849943)

it's gotta be a large maple walnut cookie in the works, stake out farms they are sure to hit them next

Re:c is for cookie (1)

jamstar7 (694492) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850113)

it's gotta be a large maple walnut cookie in the works, stake out farms they are sure to hit them next

Or, walnut pancakes [about.com] . Goes perfectly with that missing maple syrup.

Can't find a conspiracy there? Seriously, you're just not trying hard enough!!

Re:c is for cookie (1)

uvajed_ekil (914487) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850267)

Goes perfectly with that missing maple syrup.

BLASPHEMER! You just may burn in hell for wasting perfectly good maple ambrosia on food contaminated with walnuts. But I guess you have to add a little bit of heaven to anything containing walnuts if you are to choke it down, so I hope you don't in fact burn in hell.

Don't be fooled (1)

paiute (550198) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849961)

They just look like walnuts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkcOsuV_gmc [youtube.com]

Re:Don't be fooled (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41849979)

She doesn't look 6' 2", but she might drive a white truck.

Re:Don't be fooled (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41851691)

That was my first thought as well. But then again, I _live_ in Walnut Creek, where men have no thumbs, and women have eyes in the back of their heads.
    BTW, I've been here since 1966; I remember when there were still walnuts and a creek.

Not gonna happen... (1)

aurashift (2037038) | about a year and a half ago | (#41849977)

As the only owner of highly trained squirrels in the country I've had bad experiences working with Californian law enforcement and refuse to do business with them again.

They can try to get some squirrel worker visas from India or the Philippines, but the paperwork is absolutely atrocious and the squirrels only speak broken english. I wish them the best though.

Oh NUTS! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41850069)

How many nuts can this put in his mouth at once?

I get da nuts... (1)

JohnPerkins (243021) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850127)

I get da nuts! I just need a little more time, Squeezle.

Fruit Thieves (4, Interesting)

ShakaUVM (157947) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850145)

A friend of mine owns 50 acres in the Central Valley. He used to grow citrus on it to pay the property tax on it.

Then one morning he gets a call, heads out to the farm, finds all 50 acres had been harvested in the middle of the night.

Across the street, there were some pretty ballsy guys selling what were very likely his oranges. The cops didn't do anything ("Can you prove they're your oranges?"). He just wanted to hire them to harvest his farm for next year - it took his normal contract labor something like a week to do the same job.

Sell them? (1)

Billly Gates (198444) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850219)

... and where exactly are you going to sell them? Craigslist?

A good start (3, Funny)

uvajed_ekil (914487) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850225)

Man, I hate me some walnuts. They don't add anything to the food they are used in, they get stuck in my teeth, and they taste bitter. I wish somebody would steal ALL of them, and get into a huge fireball of a wreck on the highway (with no one hurt, of course). Now, if this were about pecans I might actually give a shit. Pecan pie season is upon us!

BTW, I saw a couple of pretty shady looking squirrels apparently making some sort of deal this morning.

Re:A good start (1)

Type44Q (1233630) | about a year and a half ago | (#41851679)

Man, I hate me some walnuts. They don't add anything to the food they are used in, they get stuck in my teeth, and they taste bitter. I wish somebody would steal ALL of them, and get into a huge fireball of a wreck on the highway (with no one hurt, of course).

You know, if you detest them that much, you don't have to keep eating them... :)

Re:A good start (1)

dywolf (2673597) | about a year and a half ago | (#41851819)

if they're bitter they're not ripe and were picked too soon. a good ripe one is almost buttery. mmmm

It's obvious... (3, Funny)

SeaFox (739806) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850237)

Someone must be planning to get on Santa's good side with a reeaally big plate of cookies.

Be on the lookout for future heists of butter, sugar, flour, raisins, rolled oats in the next few weeks.

Meh! (1)

Vinegar Joe (998110) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850269)

80,000 lbs is peanuts.

Sounds silly but an increasing problem (5, Informative)

caseih (160668) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850315)

The theft of bulk food commodities is becoming more and more of a problem with commodity prices climbing. Even in more traditional areas like grains such as wheat. Most farms, if they don't sell or ship off the combine store their grain in bins or silos sometimes for months, and sell it and ship it slowly. Right now I am looking out my window at a row of shiny bins that hold a crop worth between $100k and $200k per bin depending on how much is in the bin (worth that to me; worth ten times that to the company that I grew under contract for). We actually put padlocks on the bottoms of our more expensive crop bins. Won't keep out a very determined thief, but it will hopefully provide a bit of a pause.

Recently a trucker told me he was hauling out of a remote bin for a farmer. Because it was quite hassle to put the auger in the bin to unload, once he was set up he just left it set up, and would come about twice a day for loads. During that time someone came along with a truck and helped themselves to a load. The bin was about 15 tonnes short; exactly one small truck load. So after that he started taking the belts with him, and disabling the auger's engine. Not a lot of money was lost (this was wheat after all... only between $3k and $4k), but not a happy thing for the trucker who had to make up the difference.

So yes, theft happens in bulk, and it can be a lot of money. Sounds funny, or nutty, but still a serious concern.

Re:Sounds silly but an increasing problem (2)

jimicus (737525) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850963)

How does a thief get rid of 15 tonnes of grain? Can you just show up at a processor and say "Will you buy this truckload of wheat off me?"?

Re:Sounds silly but an increasing problem (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41851093)

easy, you just add it to a larger, legit wheat load that you were about to sell anyway

teh dude just wants to get LAID !!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41850381)

http://www.tribune.com.ng/index.php/your-health/46441-daily-intake-of-walnut-improves-sperm-quality

but but but... (1)

roc97007 (608802) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850481)

WHY?

Warluses (1)

antdude (79039) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850495)

I thought that said walruses, not walnuts. I should go to sleep. :P

Re:Warluses (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41851037)

Walri?

Re:Warluses (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41851325)

Walrus'

It's very clear what is going on. (1)

Mike Van Pelt (32582) | about a year and a half ago | (#41850633)

They Have Arrived from the planet Twilo.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/30476 [hulu.com]

Police Said... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41851185)

The heist was delicious

Those are some high tech nuts! (1)

hubang (692671) | about a year and a half ago | (#41851619)

Wow! While I am amused by the theft of 80,000 lbs of nuts, I wonder what it has to do with Slashdot's mandate. Is there some secret walnut sniffing device being deployed? Are they using formerly secret walnut scanners?

Or am I missing something?

Master Plan (1)

MatrixCubed (583402) | about a year and a half ago | (#41851741)

1. Steal 600 barrels of maple syrup.
2. Abscond with 36,287.4 kg of walnuts. (Yes, kg. I'm Canadian, you insensitive clod!)
3. ???
4. Profit!

Where to sell? (2)

Arakageeta (671142) | about a year and a half ago | (#41852009)

The thief will have to sell the goods on the black walnut market.

lbs? (1)

jaavaaguru (261551) | about a year and a half ago | (#41852011)

As a 32 year old, I was never taught what lbs are in relation to kilograms or metric tonnes. According to Google, it's about 36 metric tonnes, for anyone who cares.

Re:lbs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41852153)

thanks, it's weird not having taugh you the unit that most of the world uses except 3 countries.

Purloined?! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41852047)

Very good. I haven't heard that verb in a while. Do you mean they absconded with them? Pilfered them all! They better scram and take a powder fast, or they'll end up in the hoosegow.

Easy to find the stash. (1)

140Mandak262Jamuna (970587) | about a year and a half ago | (#41852107)

The last item widely reported as "purloined" was stashed in a cubby hole of the only women who has out smarted the companion of the famous chronicler. So just find the smartest woman in Northern California and shout "fire" within her earshot and look for the place she is running it save it from the fire.

It is elementary. Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, is the solution.

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