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Google's Server Cooling Plan Produces 4ft Alligator

Unknown Lamer posted about a year and a half ago | from the who-doesn't-have-a-moat-dragon dept.

Google 79

concealment writes "In addition to potentially keeping Google's search and email programs from overheating, the pond also has become home to plenty of algae, which meant Google had to stock it with fish. And since this is the Lowcountry, the food chain didn't stop there. 'So we now have a 4-foot alligator that has taken up residence in our pond as well,' Kava said, clearly amused. He added that government experts have said it'll have to be removed once it grows to six feet long."

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79 comments

Gorilla won't work (3, Funny)

boristdog (133725) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980429)

Because it doesn't freeze in Berkeley during the winter.

Re:Gorilla won't work (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980649)

Fresh water shark - it will starve to death once it has eaten all the gators.

Re:Gorilla won't work (1)

capnkr (1153623) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980791)

That one is a Gooter (Beta release, natch), not a gator...

Re:Gorilla won't work (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980849)

I recommend a Kraken

Re:Gorilla won't work (2)

ciderbrew (1860166) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980951)

I recommend a Perseus. He knew that stone beats Kraken.

Re:Gorilla won't work (1)

OhSoLaMeow (2536022) | about a year and a half ago | (#41985861)

Paper wraps stone.

Deeper (4, Interesting)

kriston (7886) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980471)

Probably because deep water source cooling needs to be 217 feet deep to be effective or be a very large lake, or both.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_lake_water_cooling [wikipedia.org]

Re:Deeper (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980663)

Damn, my lake is only 216 feet.

Re:Deeper (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41987083)

      That's approximately 0.328787879 furlongs, if that helps ;D

TFA link sucks (4, Informative)

sarysa (1089739) | about a year and a half ago | (#41981149)

TFA has annoying "you won somthing but uh err really didn't" on Android devices that can't be bypassed. Here is a better TFA:

http://www.wired.com/wiredenterprise/2012/11/google_gator/ [wired.com]

Re:TFA link sucks (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41982575)

AdAway: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.adaway&hl=en
Of course, you need to be rooted. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Re:Deeper (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41981271)

Cooling ponds != deep water cooling. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooling_pond

Re:Deeper (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41981367)

The depth just determines the temperature of the water. If you don't need the water to be as cold as possible, the lake doesn't have to be that deep. If you're trying to cool from ambient to something more comfortable, you need to have colder water. If you're trying to cool a server from really hot to just above ambient, ambient water is sufficient.

dom

new lawyer (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980487)

Just take it with you to the next patent negotiation meeting, throw it on the table and walk out.

Re:new lawyer (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980877)

Or they just invite the lawyers to take a break from the negotiations and go for a refreshing "lunchtime" dip in the local pond?

Re:new lawyer (3, Funny)

tomthegeek (1145233) | about a year and a half ago | (#41981575)

Better wear some sunscreen, I've got some right here!

What? No it's not barbeque sauce, don't be ridiculous!

Re:new lawyer (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41982203)

Or they just invite the lawyers to take a break from the negotiations and go for a refreshing "lunchtime" dip in the local pond?

You're a cruel SOB, aren't you? Why would you do that to an innocent alligator?

Re:new lawyer (1)

antdude (79039) | about a year and a half ago | (#41984083)

I would 3 to watch sharks and gators fight each other. ;)

Re:new lawyer (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41984181)

Oh I see, put the sharks in with the alligator and let them fight it out?

Re:new lawyer (4, Funny)

Jeng (926980) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980965)

Ok, so live alligators for patent negotiations and dead doves for music contracts?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozzy#Controversy [wikipedia.org]

Re:new lawyer (5, Interesting)

Anubis IV (1279820) | about a year and a half ago | (#41981321)

My father tells a story of being a campus radical at his university during the late '60s. At one point, he and a few of his compatriots had taken control of a campus building from the university. Members of the university staff had come to meet with them in the building in order to negotiate terms for the return of the building. As the meeting was going on, some other folks, clearly more radical than my father (and apparently looking rather ragged and worse for wear, for reasons I'll say in just a moment), opened up the door to the meeting room and pushed in an actual, living mountain lion. To say the least, my father's group and the university staff quickly discovered that they had more in common than they had thought as they all made a scramble for an exit.

So, he can attest to the fact that dangerous animals can have a profound impact on negotiations. I'd imagine that a four-foot gator wouldn't be nearly as threatening, however. When I was growing up in south Florida, we used to visit Loxahatchee [wikipedia.org] for field trips, and we'd routinely be within a few feet of gators that were much larger than the one in this pond, with no barriers or other protection keeping them from us. Granted, as a third or fourth grader I had little sense for what sorts of danger I might be in, but the adults always seemed to be fine with it and not consider the trip an actual hazard.

Re:new lawyer (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41982329)

I kayak around 10+ foot gators all the time in SC. You can get threat displays from the bulls during mating season, but it's still pretty safe if you aren't an idiot.

Re:new lawyer (1)

T.E.D. (34228) | about a year and a half ago | (#41994953)

but it's still pretty safe if you aren't an idiot.

Nice variant of the "no true Scottsman" argument there.

As someone who spent a decade living in the drained swapland areas of central Florida, IMHO anyone who hangs around 10+ foot gators during mating season is an idiot. Some just get to live through the experience because there aren't quite enough gators to eat all y'all.

Yet.

Re:new lawyer (5, Insightful)

T.E.D. (34228) | about a year and a half ago | (#41983255)

Of course the adults would be fine with it; they are bigger than you. This is exactly why park rangers in India always take a goat with them when visiting the tigers.

Once the gator eats the kids, then the adults start to worry.

Hosting? (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980515)

Is google hosting Gator or is gator hosting google?

Re:Hosting? (1)

Krojack (575051) | about a year and a half ago | (#41981227)

Maybe Google kidnapped Host Gator's mascot...

Re:Hosting? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41982851)

Damn,gonna get double secret probation! Don't worry, though! It may seem bad, but I think that their wacky antics and campus uniting party will redeem them.

Re:Hosting? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41982801)

Customer: Hallo - is this the intergooglegator?
HG Tech support: well - it wasn't before, but it is now.
Customer: Pls sir, my websight is not indexing with pageranking und spitzensparken
HG Tech support: DOH! Stupid Google and their new Alligator!

the world's most overrated ad broker (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980537)

The past decade really hasn't been very interesting. Can we go back to building real stuff, please? Might even mean we remain a viable superpower.

My (Limited) Google Experience (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980545)

Closely guard, I'll say. I live in Goose Creek, down the road, if you will, and the place is more or less sandwiched between the forest and the Cooper River. I've seen it on maps multiple times but it's not a place you simply bump into.

Have seen a few Google employees buying stuff in my store, though. They're alright, I guess. Kinda stuck-up people, considering most were security guards. Well, okay, all of them were security guards. I don't know where the regular employees are at, but they certainly don't get out much at night.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...not a "resident" alligator (4, Funny)

crazyjj (2598719) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980551)

Look baby, I'm just visiting. I'm not *living* here. I thought we both understood that we were just having fun here. I'm a young gator, so let's not start talking commitment, okay?

Taking your gator away? (5, Funny)

GeekWithAKnife (2717871) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980623)

Fear not, you can declare it a beta and chop off its' tail when it reaches 5'11.

Problem solved.

6' long betta!??! (2)

DarthStrydre (685032) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980739)

I'm sorry, but I'd definitely be afraid of a nearly 6 foot long betta [wikipedia.org] ! Probably moreso than an equivalent sized gator.

Re:6' long betta!??! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980757)

I think you meant this betta [wikipedia.org]

Re:6' long betta!??! (2)

jythie (914043) | about a year and a half ago | (#41981027)

That would be both terrifying and probably very pretty.

Obligatory Simpsons (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980627)

Chinese needle snakes?

What about his work visa? (4, Funny)

DavidClarkeHR (2769805) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980641)

Florida, eh? I've got two questions for the alligator.

First, is it legal to work in the state. Second, does it fit any of our affirmative action categories. I know it isn't easy being green ... but it feels wrong to hire an alligator when we can get a much more ambitious and qualified crocodile.

Re:What about his work visa? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41981085)

Try SC, he's a native.

No cause for alarm here (4, Funny)

nimbius (983462) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980695)

as alligators often times take up residence in unexpected places.

the real concern is the alligator mount for an Nd:YAG laser being developed by Google Labs while the lead is on vacation.

IR or green? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41981041)

The doubling crystal would add weight, and IR is more of a heat ray...but IR is invisible and a certain theatrical quality is lost.

Oh, design conundrums!

Evil Lair (5, Funny)

MyLongNickName (822545) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980811)

I am disappointed in you Slashdot, you have all missed the point. This is clearly part of an evil scheme from Google and you've let it pass as you normally do.

Work with me here. Think evil geniuses. What do they have in common? That's right, a secret lair. Any anyone who has a secret lair needs its defenses. Clearly Google is developing their secret lair RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN. My caps lock underscores the importance and urgency of what I am saying and is cruise control for cool.

So, they have their "cooling water". Only an idiot would believe that. It is clearly a moat. Yes, a medieval moat. The alligator is just the first in their armada of beasts to protect their new evil lair. I have it ON HIGHEST AUTHORITY that they will next be buying some SHARKS and LASERS (more caps locks to convince you of my authority on the subject). You can only imagine what they will do next.

An evil plot SO OBVIOUS BUT SLASHDOT IGNORES IT. Are you outraged? You should be. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be.Once I am back from taking my meds I will tell you more about Google and the trilateral commission. That is if "THEY" don't get me first.

Re:Evil Lair (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41980969)

While you are correct, it is not a hot topic until the beast gets equipped with lasers...

Re:Evil Lair (1)

howe.chris (809831) | about a year and a half ago | (#41981479)

... I will tell you more about Google and the trilateral commission.

They are moving in their Control-anator as we speak. They will take over the TRI-STATE AREA [wikia.com] ! What? Of course it means that. What else could it mean?

Re:Evil Lair (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41981601)

My God.

Instead of the traditional building surrounded by moat they've designed a moat surrounded by buildings. Could this be the perfect defense and the rest of us were wrong all along?

It's the perfect balance of alligators vs disguised moat.

Re:Evil Lair (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41982571)

I think that, in your clearly important discussion filled with all the AUTHORITY of the caps lock key you mentioned, you failed to remember that most of us would consider it FUCKING AWESOME if Google made an actual mad scientist evil lair complete with moat and alligators. Oh, wait, my mistake, I meant COMPLETE WITH MOAT AND ALLIGATORS. Because seriously, that'd be fucking awesome.

Re:Evil Lair (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41985999)

I dunno, it sounds more like an execution pit to me. I suspect their autonomous cars figure into their defensive plan in some way.

4 foot - 6 foot (3, Funny)

charlieo88 (658362) | about a year and a half ago | (#41980863)

it'll have to be removed once it grows to six feet long."

Or translated, "It's belt length now, but we're going to wait till it's belt and a pair of shoes length"

Re:4 foot - 6 foot (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41983385)

At last, Google has a profitable side business! They will routinely cut it during the next few quarters.

Why oh why..... (1)

jythie (914043) | about a year and a half ago | (#41981047)

Did she swallow that fly?

Re:Why oh why..... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41981257)

...who swallowed a gator. When asked why, she answered, "later!"
I don't know why she swallowed a fly.

Algae needs light (2)

ehiris (214677) | about a year and a half ago | (#41981181)

Cover the pond and most algae problem disappears.

Or create Jurassic park, I guess that works too.

Re:Algae needs light (2)

cusco (717999) | about a year and a half ago | (#41982755)

Cover the pond and it doesn't cool as quickly, and you still have the mosquito problem. You additionally now have a roof to maintain. I think that their solution is probably one of the best possible in that it saves energy, creates a wetland ecosystem where none existed previously, and is very low maintenance. Personally I'd enjoy watching an alligator and some herons hunting during my lunch breaks, YMMV.

Re:Algae needs light (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41988633)

Also, employees will be able to take laptops out to the pond and go fishing while they work :)

Re:Algae needs light (1)

benjamindees (441808) | about a year and a half ago | (#41989997)

I'm curious what kind of fish they have that they think will actually remove algae. Fish with little diapers maybe.

pics or it didn't happen (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41981195)

This story severely lacks evidence proving the existence of said alligator. I see a picture of a building.

Re:pics or it didn't happen (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41982447)

Berkeley County SC has enough alligators in it that I wouldn't need pics for proof. Heck just ride a boat down any of the rivers down here during low-tide and you can see 20-30 of them in an hour.

big surprise (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41981235)

There are something like 100,000 alligators living in the coastal sections of South Carolina. If there is a large, protected, and fish-stocked pond an alligator will find it.

In other news (1)

Grayhand (2610049) | about a year and a half ago | (#41981261)

Google bans it's employees from flushing Alligators down the toilets.

Swamp People Tie in... (1)

jzarling (600712) | about a year and a half ago | (#41981465)

I hope that they hire Troy from Swamp People to catch it.

Food chain? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41981491)

Google diversifying further? Might explain the Android codenames I suppose

Wanka pond (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41982205)

Google needs to cools its data centers with a giant chocolate pond and a delicious cascading choco-falls. The whole thing operated by highly skilled Umpa-Lumpas.

How about (1)

kelemvor4 (1980226) | about a year and a half ago | (#41982313)

How about some salt, a couple solar panels, water pump and salt water chlorine generator instead of all the algae, fish, gators and other whatnots...

Obligatory (2)

funwithBSD (245349) | about a year and a half ago | (#41982355)

No, not that one.

This one:

The feedings will continue until morale improves...

Cooling pond, big deal. (1)

Animats (122034) | about a year and a half ago | (#41982593)

Many heavy industries have cooling ponds. The problems are routine and known.

I once worked for a company near Detroit which made heavy hydraulic equipment. The R&D operation had a building full of test cells in which locomotive transmissions and similar big stuff was exercised for months on end. The dummy loads for the machines dumped the energy into water [wikipedia.org] . The water went to a cooling pond in front of the plant. The pond was made to look like a large decorative fountain with water sprays. But it was really a heat sink.

(It's gone; there's a mall there now.)

Does the food chain end with gators? (1)

davydagger (2566757) | about a year and a half ago | (#41982639)

Google can now import swap people from florida to hunt the gators.

Who will sell gator meat, and gator skin products and add jobs to the economy.

Re:Does the food chain end with gators? (1)

mdm42 (244204) | about a year and a half ago | (#41982915)

Don't know about Alligator, but Crocodile is delicious!

In other news... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41983249)

30 per cent of Google developers now devoting their personal project time to breeding dwarf alligators. Because it's cool.

corporate goal (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41983391)

When asked how breeding small alligators relates to Google's corporate goals, Veedaaz Awmetth, the former Galactic Senator who now serves as head of PR, responded, "We need more reptilian brains."

It's for keeping those programmers in line (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41983299)

Wait, you don't want to work for 14 hours today. Before you make that decision let's take a walk to the lake around back.
An ex-google employee = a well fed gator.

Great comments (1)

operagost (62405) | about a year and a half ago | (#41983473)

I like the solitary comment on the article that happened to be posted the day Slashdot linked to it. Coincidence? Clearly the work of an intelligent Slashdotter:

So who put the baby gator in the pond? Are they common in the area?

A really big stork, of course. Well trolled, Mr. Sadler. He continues:

That pond might be a good spot to raise talapia as they eat all kinds of greens and taste good when cooked.

Protip for budding Guy Fieris: a headshot from a .22 rifle is sufficient to bag a gator and gator meat is healthy and delicious. You're welcome.

Google 'Gator!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41983749)

Dibs on "Google 'Gator"

Tilapia (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41983875)

Google should stock the pond with Tilapia fish - a fast growing, very tasty fish that you can
find at most asian grocery store. Tilapia is a herbivore, so it can eat all that algea

Maybe Google can enter food (fish) production business.

Government alligator experts? (1)

istartedi (132515) | about a year and a half ago | (#41983989)

To: Google.
From: Office of alligator regulations, algal pools division, eastern district office.

Please note that while currently in compliance, your alligator will have to be removed when it reaches the current standard alligator removal length of 6 feet. Attached is a copy of form 6-423-100001, alligator removal entrance authorization and indemnification application. Please review, sign, and submit in triplicate. An inspector will be out shortly. Please note that we cannot guarantee the inspector will show at the time(s) listed. For updates on your case please call 202-555-1337 between the hours of 2 and 4 PM, Eastern US time. Use extension 45. Thank-you.

Sincerely,
(name)
Field agent.

The next version (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41984253)

of the Android operating system will be named "Gatormeat"

Looks like google is finally taking data security (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41984557)

seriously. Combine this with the increased government surveillance and this could be Google's plan to ward off spies.

Feet (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41984631)

What's so special about an alligator with four feet?

Google Glasses.... Google Boots (1)

Tim12s (209786) | about a year and a half ago | (#41984777)

So we have Google Glass... Next we need Google Boots. Google Aligator Boots.

Alligator-Powered Servers Are A Thing Now (1)

TheABomb (180342) | about a year and a half ago | (#41984839)

Mr. Slate could not be reached for comment.

Engineers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#41985137)

Google's cooling engineers ought to lay off their crack pipes a bit - like the average slashdotter really...

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