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White House Must Answer Petition To 'Build Death Star'

Soulskill posted about 2 years ago | from the fully-operational-boondoggle dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 384

EdIII writes "The White House petition to secure funding for building the Death Star has garnered over 25,000 signatures, which means the White House must officially respond. I can't wait to see it. My question to Slashdot readers: what modifications would you add to the proposed Death Star? Obviously, as one journalist put it, 'guardrails around any of the facility's seemingly endless number of bridges, spans, shafts and pits.' What other changes would you ask your representatives to make?"

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Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (5, Funny)

DaemonDan (2773445) | about 2 years ago | (#42295593)

No more shafts leading directly to the core, please.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (5, Interesting)

TFAFalcon (1839122) | about 2 years ago | (#42295757)

They already fixed that on the Endor variant (they just had a lousy slow contractor building it).

My vote is that they add an exterminator or two to the crew. I hear the first Death Star had quite a pest problem in it's garbage compactors.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (5, Funny)

tonywong (96839) | about 2 years ago | (#42296269)

iFixit will give the new Death Star a repairability rating lower than the new iMac, then.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295775)

No more shafts leading directly to the core, please.

And while your at it, make the force field a bit more difficult for Jedi infiltrators to turn off.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (2)

MichaelSmith (789609) | about 2 years ago | (#42296113)

No more shafts leading directly to the core, please.

And while your at it, make the force field a bit more difficult for Jedi infiltrators to turn off.

Yeah no single points of failure and build a UPS directly into the machinery while you are at it.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295789)

No more shafts leading directly to the core, please.

I disagree. Why would you want to remove the failsafe in case the Death Star falls into the wrong hands?

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (5, Funny)

bondsbw (888959) | about 2 years ago | (#42295871)

Such as the White House?

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (5, Insightful)

hectorh (113198) | about 2 years ago | (#42295843)

For the same reason smoke stacks and ventilation ducts have the least number of turns and bends: any obstruction creates back-pressure ... and back pressure is something you don't want when you are trying to dissipate excess heat during a SCRAM.

Then again ... whoever thought they could hit a 1.5 meter target while travelling at 250+ meters / second ....

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295931)

Only with the force...

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (4, Funny)

hawguy (1600213) | about 2 years ago | (#42296475)

For the same reason smoke stacks and ventilation ducts have the least number of turns and bends: any obstruction creates back-pressure ... and back pressure is something you don't want when you are trying to dissipate excess heat during a SCRAM.

Then again ... whoever thought they could hit a 1.5 meter target while travelling at 250+ meters / second ....

Childs play - I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (2)

forrestt (267374) | about 2 years ago | (#42296585)

Oh come on, it isn't any harder than hitting a womp rat from a T-16. That should have been totally planned for.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (0)

bobdehnhardt (18286) | about 2 years ago | (#42296757)

Aw, that's not so hard. I used to bulls-eye womprats in my T-38 back home, and they're not much bigger than 1.5 meters.

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295891)

Too expensive, Just move the hole to the other side - Outa site ;-)

Re:Remove the obvious structural weaknesses (2)

Bradmont (513167) | about 2 years ago | (#42296423)

eeuh get estimates, yeah heh heh...

HALOPERIDOL (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295617)

That would be my answer, massive amounts of anti-psychotic medication, followed by years of science and engineering education so people finally realize that all the space fantasies they grew up with are simply not possible. All this "space exploration" BS. It's an empty vacuum. What's to explore?

Re:HALOPERIDOL (2)

partyguerrilla (1597357) | about 2 years ago | (#42295665)

so people finally realize that all the space fantasies they grew up with are simply not possible

People do realize that, idiot, it's just that most people aren't autistic like you and don't take this kind of thing seriously.

Re:HALOPERIDOL (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295829)

No, I think many people DO take this kind of stuff seriously and honestly believe, with a fervor usually only seen in a church, the only possible future for the human race is in space. That no such exodus is possible doesn't matter; like religion, all that matters is the belief, and the shared experience of the common sci-fi stories with other people.

Space Nuttery is a religion.

Re:HALOPERIDOL (3, Insightful)

SomePgmr (2021234) | about 2 years ago | (#42296059)

Right. People like Stephen Hawking and Elon Musk. They're just dummies that haven't thought about it enough, or maybe they're just not good with numbers or technology. Why would we even consider the possibility of leaving this rock if we can't manage more than a year or so off-planet right now? Obviously you're right, it's impossible, and everyone else is wrong.

Or just maybe petitioning for a Death Star has absolutely nothing to do with seriously considering the possibility of living somewhere other than earth, and it might be possible. If you listen to some people much smarter than you or me, possibly even in our lifetime.

Beyond that, why so angry about people having dreams of space? Take a deep breath.

Re:HALOPERIDOL (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296211)

Correct. Putting aside your fallacy of "appeal to authority", you wouldn't ask your plumber if your electrical system is OK. One the one hand, you have a theoretical physicist with absolutely no track record of any practical engineering, and on the other hand you have a lucky huckster with a flair for PR. And?

"Beyond that, why so angry about people having dreams of space? Take a deep breath."

Wouldn't you be angry if you had people with dreams of living in the center of the Earth despite constant reminders that the center of the Earth is a deadly area and impossible to attain with any combination of known technologies, and the only answers you ever get are appeals to emotion and "but on Star Trek"-type arguments?

Re:HALOPERIDOL (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296545)

Take your own advice on the HALOPERIDOL.

Re:HALOPERIDOL (1)

r1348 (2567295) | about 2 years ago | (#42296589)

Exactly like my grand-grandmother, who died convinced that we never went to the moon because "that's just impossible".

Re:HALOPERIDOL (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296623)

You would have abandoned the hope of flight too, huh?
I'm glad the Wrights had more vision than you do.

Re:HALOPERIDOL (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296081)

Indeed, this seriously needs to stop. Before you know it, some idiot is going to sail west believing that his ship will land in India.

Re:HALOPERIDOL (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296459)

How many boats existed in the world when Columbus started sailing?

Re:HALOPERIDOL (1)

santathehutt (1172249) | about 2 years ago | (#42296103)

QuantumApostrophe, is that you?

Re:HALOPERIDOL (1)

Dishevel (1105119) | about 2 years ago | (#42296221)

the only possible future for the human race is in space.

Ok then. What possible future for the human race is there.
There is a short one for sure. Stay here until life can no longer be supported on this planet. After that it is either be many places of extinction.

Re:HALOPERIDOL (2)

vistapwns (1103935) | about 2 years ago | (#42295925)

Jokes going to be on you, and probably the people who thought they were kidding by making this request, if the white house pulls out a real death star made from nanorobotics and AGI they developed in secret. While it can be argued this stuff is far off, it really can't be argued that it's impossible. Short version of nanorobotics is this: You make one nanobot (atomically precise robot the size of a blood cell with manipulator arms for moving atoms), it can then make a second, those two can make four, those four can make eight and so on. Being a million times smaller than human scale machines, they would move a million times faster, so you'd end up with trillions or more in a day, more than enough. Nanobots could make vast structures of atomic precision, controlled by massive amounts of nanocomputer based AI. Building a death star would be as easy as ordering a happy meal. Along with things like eternal life spans (heat death, big crunch, etc. permitting), no diseases, no aging, omnipresent crime prevention, etc. I doubt anyone would actually build a death star if they could, except to say 'gee, look at this cool thing I built' but certainly not impossible.

Re:HALOPERIDOL (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296675)

No, the short version of nanorobotics is that nanorobot power supplies are constrained by the laws of physics, like power supplies (ever notice how many bacteria thrive by eating metal and rocks for their primary energy source? yeah, me neither. i can't even get my laptop to last all day on one battery) or communications problems (how can a nanorobot know where it is relative to what it's building? deduced reckoning? how can it talk to its controller and accomplish its task without getting drowned out by trillions of other nanorobots in the communications cross-talk?) or basic materials science (what materials can have atoms gingerly placed next to each other by robots for assembly and still hold up even under the stresses of a death star's own gravity field, to say nothing of travel) or any one of a number of obstacles. Not that these problems can't be ameliorated or worked around in a variety of contexts to achieve a variety of interesting goals eventually (e.g. arbitrary lifespans for carbon-based lifeforms such as ourselves), but "ordering a Death Star as easily as ordering a happy meal" being permanently impossible *is* something I can comfortably argue.

Besides, "omnipresent crime prevention" is pretty dystopian when you get down to it.

Thermal Exhaust Ports (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295633)

Clearly, we should make sure there is adequate shielding around all thermal exhaust ports. They may only be 1.5m wide, but you never know when some womp-rat bulls-eyeing farm kid in a snub fighter will show up.

This (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295657)

is why we have the Electoral College.

Re:This (1)

Nethemas the Great (909900) | about 2 years ago | (#42295805)

And a senate.

Re:This (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296231)

This is why we have the Electoral College.

And a senate.

Because there's no way around those 2 annoyances [wikipedia.org]

Re:This (2)

Nkwe (604125) | about 2 years ago | (#42296151)

is why we have the Electoral College.

No, it is why we have a representative system which is balanced two ways (House - weighted by population / Senate - balanced by state). The Electoral College system can go.

Re:This (5, Insightful)

Xebikr (591462) | about 2 years ago | (#42296193)

No. It just shows that Americans are taking Obama's online petitions just as seriously as he does.

"Must respond?" Hardly (4, Informative)

Huntr (951770) | about 2 years ago | (#42295659)

They don't actually *have* to respond, just because there are the required number of signatures. They've ignored many of these petitions, most recently those petitions regarding state secession following the November elections.

Re:"Must respond?" Hardly (5, Informative)

Mitreya (579078) | about 2 years ago | (#42296127)

They don't actually *have* to respond, just because there are the required number of signatures. They've ignored many of these petitions, most recently those petitions regarding state secession following the November elections.

Petition for "please dismantle TSA" got a response written by the director of the TSA. Surprisingly, he wrote how awesome and useful TSA is.

I know!
Let's start a petition asking to take our petitions seriously and not in the most condescending and patronizing manner possible.

Re:"Must respond?" Hardly (4, Informative)

amicusNYCL (1538833) | about 2 years ago | (#42296519)

Let's start a petition asking to take our petitions seriously and not in the most condescending and patronizing manner possible.

There already is one, no duplicates allowed. Here [whitehouse.gov] is their response.

Make sure... (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295673)

...it is ADA compliant.

Re:Make sure... (3, Funny)

MichaelSmith (789609) | about 2 years ago | (#42296153)

...it is ADA compliant.

You mean coding it in all UPPERCASE?

Done (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295679)

We already have one. Where did you think all the money went?

-Obama

Thermal exhaust port grates (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295681)

Some metal grating over the thermal exhaust ports would probably be a pretty cheap add to the project budget.

Re:Thermal exhaust port grates (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296389)

Oh, but the specifications and design is complete, so this is a variation to the contract. We can fit additional gratings at $17,000,000,000 ea.

Re:Thermal exhaust port grates (1)

SternisheFan (2529412) | about 2 years ago | (#42296573)

Oh, just hire a roofer to nail a piece of plywood over it! Better yet, "space-plywood"!

Don't outsource any of the labor! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295683)

I think I speak for everybody when I say I don't want any Wookies or Ewoks anywhere near my Death Star!

Sad; (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295699)

It just helps the White House trivialize other petitions. We are fast becoming a nation of idiots, who don't value our rights. There are so many good petitions and then we have this. Should it even be on Slashdot? It should get a curt, "No Comment" from the White House. 25,000 idiots.

Re:Sad; (3, Insightful)

TFAFalcon (1839122) | about 2 years ago | (#42296053)

Why shouldn't the people show the government what they think of them? If our government insists on treating the electorate like they were a bunch of morons, why bother asking questions that you know will just be answered by a bunch of political platitudes. At least in this case the answer might be funny.

Re:Sad; (4, Insightful)

Hatta (162192) | about 2 years ago | (#42296313)

The white house needs no help trivializing those petitions. The entire site provides nothing but an illusion of having a voice. They were completely ignoring petitions with 75,000 signatures long before the jokes began.

Additions to make (2)

Kreegalor (2751567) | about 2 years ago | (#42295713)

Access shafts smaller than 2 meters No straight runs on access shafts that are for core ventilation Tractor Beam generator disables requiring multi-person authorization Cameras on the prison levels Better training of security staff A 5 fold increase in garbage compactor speed and no main airlock opening until the garbage has been vented into space. Defense turrets around the power core Decentralized power generators

Re:Additions to make (3, Insightful)

Anaerin (905998) | about 2 years ago | (#42296783)

Let's take these in order.

Access shafts smaller than 2 meters

Given that the average person is 2 meters tall (give or take), and adding the bulk of hard-vacuum capable work gear, making maintenance access shafts smaller than 2 meters would cause a lot more problems. I'd recommend, instead, putting a locking/securable cover or grate over entrances and exits of access shafts.

No straight runs on access shafts that are for core ventilation

I presume you're talking about the "Thermal exhaust port" here. Twists and turns in shafts like that can cause backpressure, causing problems and leading to overheating and thermal runaway (read: big explosion).

Tractor Beam generator disables requiring multi-person authorization

I'd say multi-person and multi-point authorization.

Cameras on the prison levels

Actually, there were multiple cameras on the detention level - they were the second thing shot (after the stormtroopers) when Han and co. arrived there. Hence, also, the "Weapons malfunction" call.

Better training of security staff

Unfortunately, they were stormtrooper clones with only a genetic imprint for education and no actual field experience.

A 5 fold increase in garbage compactor speed and no main airlock opening until the garbage has been vented into space.

The speed of the garbage compactor wasn't the issue, it was the ease with which the system could be disabled from a single point. The main access door was locked while the compactor was cycling, but the locks were lifted (and the door opened) when the compactor was overridden. This is an entirely sensible system to have in place - if something goes wrong with the compactor, you will need to get access to it, and having the only access door permanently sealed mid-cycle (which is where 99% of problems will occur) makes a maintenance access door like the one in the movie pointless.

Defense turrets around the power core

Given the rebels' ability to easily hack into and alter computer systems at will (with the cost of a only simple, easily replaceable astromech in the case of doing massive damage and causing an overload), would it really be a good idea to have computer-controlled autocannons around the power core? Then all the rebels would need to do is send in an rogue astromech, which would interface with the ship's computer and direct the "defense turrets" to open fire on the core. Oh, and given the history of accuracy of those turrets, would you really want them in a place where a miss would do the rebel's job for you?

Decentralized power generators

Yay! Lots of targets to hit! In lots of places, which makes it exceedingly difficult to guard and protect them all, and even with the system decentralized, you would still have the issue of a massive power surge from one generator (from, say, it's destruction) feeding back into another generator and causing a chain-reaction. And if you don't have the generators linked you still have the issue of maintenance and lack of redundancy. Oh, and that huge weapon that destroys planets requires a HUGE amount of power - chances are it's difficult (if not impossible) to co-ordinate that much power production with a group of parallel power plants, hence the huge single core.

I have a suggestion for the White House (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295717)

"Come back from out space"

You need to ask? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295743)

What other changes would you ask your representatives to make?

Lots of Princess Leia look-alikes dressed by Jabba the Hutt, of course.

Horizontal Travel (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295753)

Sure, they have elevators, but given the size, moving walkways would be nice.

shielding (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295759)

I would recommend some sort of shielding around the main reactor ventilation shaft. Wouldn't want a stray torpedo destroying the entire thing.

Somebody... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295783)

OPEN THE DAMN Blast doors..... and take out the trash.

Sanitation. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295797)

Make it easier to shut down the garbage disposal units. Particularly on the detention level.

The White House should be all: (5, Funny)

smitty_one_each (243267) | about 2 years ago | (#42295799)

"What, our Debt Star isn't enough? Don't try to out-greed us, peasants."

Think of the jobs it would create! (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295801)

Following the logic of many of today's politicians... It would be the end of our recession! Everyone would be employed!
Ouch. I hurt my sarcasm bone.

The only appropriate white house response (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295827)

A drone.

Death Star + Gun Control mere Coincidence? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295851)

Just now while gun-control heads to the front of topic of conversation, we wanna talk death-star? What universe am I in?

Just add more death (2)

damn_registrars (1103043) | about 2 years ago | (#42295865)

... and maybe more star while we're at it. Really, the previous death stars haven't caused enough of either.

Your tax dollar at work (1)

ELCouz (1338259) | about 2 years ago | (#42295883)

n/t

Re:Your tax dollar at work (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296319)

The whole website has been a monumental fucking waste of tax payers money. Petition the White House! Honest, we'll take it super cereal! Tell me one petition that has resulted in fuck all. It's the biggest piece of proof that what the people want doesn't actually mean jack shit. If those petitions actually resulted in anything maybe people wouldn't be asking for death stars today.

Money PIT (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295927)

It will be a big moon size money pit!

Internal Trash Compactor Safety Kill-Switches (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295951)

Gotta put safety kill-switches on the inside that don't actually get compacted or pressed by the compactors itself or any of the trash. Something that requires intervention by a human who accidentally finds himself trapped inside during compaction-time.

Re:Internal Trash Compactor Safety Kill-Switches (1)

hawguy (1600213) | about 2 years ago | (#42296551)

Gotta put safety kill-switches on the inside that don't actually get compacted or pressed by the compactors itself or any of the trash. Something that requires intervention by a human who accidentally finds himself trapped inside during compaction-time.

They already have covers on the chutes that lead to the trash compactors to prevent humans from entering. Presumably if the service door inside the compactor is open for legitimate maintenance, there's a lockout to prevent the compactors from activating. If criminals wouldn't blast open the covers to illicitly gain entry, then there wouldn't be humans caught in the compactors.

Safety switches inside aren't going to add much real safety, but will be a source of maintenance headaches.

How about a better targeting system (3, Interesting)

BLToday (1777712) | about 2 years ago | (#42295953)

Those X-Wings weren't flying very fast and the targeting couldn't hit them with lasers! Lasers travel at the speed of light and you couldn't hit a target moving less than the speed of light? Definitely gov't contractors that built the targeting system.

While you're at it, some ID requirement and checkpoints into vital area like the shield and tractor beam controls. Maybe put at guard or an alarm whenever some vital system like the shield is disabled.

And DirecTV for UFC fights. When your entire company of troops gets distracted by a light saber fight, they're just saying they need better entertainment. A firing range would help the troops relax and maybe just maybe help them hit targets with their laser rifle.

Re:How about a better targeting system (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296729)

I don't think they were really lasers, because they pretty obviously didn't travel at the speed of light. It's probably just an inappropriate marketing term based on other superficial similarities.

Tamper alarms (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42295997)

on the tractor beam controls.

Artificial Gravity (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296021)

No gravity is gonna make it difficult for all the light-saber battles to take place.

An override switch? (1)

Okian Warrior (537106) | about 2 years ago | (#42296031)

We need the ability to take control if the vessel is somehow taken over by terrorists. Or at least disable it.

How about an override switch [youtube.com] ?

petition rules (1)

Xicor (2738029) | about 2 years ago | (#42296085)

as far as the petition goes... if it gets 25k signatures, it requires a response... it does not however require that they say yes... they could respond "in your dreams" and it would be valid.

Disney funding (2)

yephick (2792777) | about 2 years ago | (#42296105)

I think Disney should (t least partially) fund such a project ;-)

No credibility (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296133)

They have no credibility when it comes to these petitions:

White House Pulls Down TSA Petition [slashdot.org]

The entire Death Star transforms.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296143)

...into a housemaid-shaped robot known as "Mega Maid" with a giant atmosphere-sucking vacuum cleaner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VptOUWC-Itc

Holodeck (2)

tatman (1076111) | about 2 years ago | (#42296147)

I know the holodeck is from Star Trek but hey, if we are going to do this right, a holodeck is necessary.

Re:Holodeck (1)

oodaloop (1229816) | about 2 years ago | (#42296509)

Hell, why don't we add some magic wands and Harry fucking Potter while we're at it? And timelords? And hookers and blackjack!

Grates, shields, better security? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296189)

People want better shielding around the thermal vents?

And better security around the tractor beam power couplings?

And cameras in the detention block?

But if you had all those things then Luke, Han, and Obiwan wouldn't be able to save Princess Leia.

What are you thinking?

Something just didn't sit right with me... (4, Funny)

Onuma (947856) | about 2 years ago | (#42296245)

Randal: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
Dante: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.
Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
Dante: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?
Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. (notices Dante's confusion) All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.

Re:Something just didn't sit right with me... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296731)

Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?

Re:Something just didn't sit right with me... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296745)

This is crap, construction is done by droids.

The moral of the story: (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296777)

Don't work for douchebags, and you won't die horribly.

Thankfully, in a vacuum, no one can hear you scream. Or boil...

No Guard Rails (1)

jd.schmidt (919212) | about 2 years ago | (#42296305)

Do you have any idea the tons of additional weight guard rails would add to ship of that size? Even the death ray has to be in an unshielded corridor to save weight and cost. Look, when you do the math you can't even afford armored grills over exhaust ports.

Re:No Guard Rails (1)

Beardo the Bearded (321478) | about 2 years ago | (#42296535)

No kidding, the sheer fucking mind-boggling amount of conduit required for the EMI segregation...

Oh by all the stars in the sky, the sheer paperwork involved. All the arisings during construction, everything.

Skywalker (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296317)

Given the implication that a "Skywalker" from one of the U.S.'s geopolitical foes will inevitably destroy the "Death Star", I don't see how this could go well for them. =)

We should stipulate that it be destroyed when done (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296325)

We should stipulate that it be destroyed as soon as it's completed, then rebuilt. It will be good for the economy. In fact we should just keep doing that until the economy recovers.

True Democracy would be a disaster (2, Insightful)

bartoku (922448) | about 2 years ago | (#42296335)

Imagine if we had a true democracy where everyone had a vote on everything.

We would not have universal healthcare, we would have universal Lamborghini Aventadors.

Of course we would have no roads to drive them on since that funding would go towards universal ice cream.

Good thing corporations and rich people set our policies and not Occupy Wall Street dead beats.

A little help with this one? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296339)

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/ban-inhumane-use-and-killing-beagles-medical-scientific-and-consumer-product-research/Pxjp6pyj

Sure, we all want a Death Star. But how about we move for something that will help some small creatures gain some freedom?

Yes, I know this is off topic. Sort of.

Re:A little help with this one? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296711)

Same AC here, before you mod this down, please watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTc2RgdV2s0 (Beagles Rescued from Certain Death)

The Alderaan government refused to negotiate... (1)

gestalt_n_pepper (991155) | about 2 years ago | (#42296383)

And so we must construct the Death Star as a purely defensive weapon to protect the good people of the USA. Given the expense of of this operation, in the next few days, I will sent to congress a proposal, raising the debt ceiling limit to 20 gazillion dollars and that we finance the construction of our American Death Star with the sale of the new "Homeland Security Bonds." Rest assured, all contracts will go to American defense contractors that employ American workers.

With your help and support, YES WE CAN defend ourselves from this latest Alderaanian threat. Thank you, good night and God bless America.

Obvious vunerability (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296433)

Fix the vulnerability where Luke flew down shot it and the whole thing blew up.

LOL (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296455)

Instead of wasting precious time of dumb arse things like make-believe and fairy tales, why not start a petition about stronger gun control.

I can see it now. (2)

icannotthinkofaname (1480543) | about 2 years ago | (#42296485)

The official response should look something like this, I imagine:

No.

The rules say that the White House has to respond, not that they have to do it.

Is this really true? (1)

UltraZelda64 (2309504) | about 2 years ago | (#42296507)

This has to be one of the most retarded excuses for a petition I've ever heard of, and yet, it received enough votes that someone in the white house has to waste time finding some way to give a serious answer? What... the... fuck... this is so incredibly dumb I don't even know what to say.

truck-nuts (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296549)

or maybe just a gigantic "back off" mudflap.

well first of all.... (1)

GrimShady (2714901) | about 2 years ago | (#42296555)

I would insist on a system of gravity credits to offset the damage its presence does to all of the planets in the solar system when it moves about. Then we can feel good about all of the earthquakes and floods since we have a warm fuzzy pocket full of empire responsibility that we can trade amongst ourselves.

No (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296569)

"No" is a response.

Waste of ressource (1)

Dunge (922521) | about 2 years ago | (#42296577)

They should add a button on their website "I don't approve this petition".

Official Response (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296637)

No.

It's all sweet and nice but... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 2 years ago | (#42296747)

What happens when they turn it ON and it doesn't turn ON...

Which state will win the contracts to build it? (3, Insightful)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | about 2 years ago | (#42296779)

That will be the real exciting fight to see in Congress. I propose that the Congress folks duke it out in a no-rules laser sword iron death cage rumble, to decide which state can add to their license plate, "The Death Star State!"

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