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Dean Kamen Invents Stomach Pump For Dieters

samzenpus posted about a year and a half ago | from the I've-been-sweating-like-a-sucker dept.

Science 483

You may soon have another option to lose weight other than dieting and exercise thanks to Dean Kamen. The inventor has designed a pump that can suck the cheeseburgers out of your stomach and replace it with water. From the article: "The pump was invented by Dean Kamen, the same man who brought you the Segway, and perhaps more fittingly, a breakthrough dialysis machine. This pump works by routing a tube directly into the user's stomach and then sucking out some of the gooey, masticated goodness. The user then squeezes a little plastic bag to replace that volume of stomach-stew with water. Sounds great, right? There are some catches though. It hasn't been approved by the FDA yet, and some of the users in the tests had problems with certain foods like 'cauliflower, broccoli, Chinese food, stir fry, snow peas, pretzels, chips, and steak.' Oh, also there's a tube going into your stomach that you use to pump unpuked vomit into the toilet. Participants in trial studies did manage to lose about half of their excess weight this way, around 45 pounds on average, so apparently it works."

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Isn't this just bulimia? (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42578999)

Or at least a marketable, respectable form of bulimia.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (5, Insightful)

19thNervousBreakdown (768619) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579035)

Yes, it is. At least, it's bulimia. I don't see anything respectable at all about surgically altering yourself so you can gorge and still lose weight, and I guess time will tell if it's marketable (although I doubt it'll be even as successful as lap band surgery), but yeah, it's definitely mechanical barfing.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (5, Funny)

jamesh (87723) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579141)

Yes, it is. At least, it's bulimia. I don't see anything respectable at all about surgically altering yourself so you can gorge and still lose weight, and I guess time will tell if it's marketable (although I doubt it'll be even as successful as lap band surgery), but yeah, it's definitely mechanical barfing.

Depends on the size of the target market. How many people are there in the US who love eating but don't want to be fat? Probably not many I guess.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (5, Insightful)

AuMatar (183847) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579303)

Wrong question. How many people love eating, don't want to be fat, and think that this could possibly be a good or healthy idea? And want to deal with the disposal and cleanup of the pumped material? I love eating and it would be great to lose 100 pounds, but I know that this isn't safe and is actually counter-productive.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579357)

How many people are there in the US who love eating but don't want to be fat? Probably not many I guess.

Not many? More like just about everyone.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579197)

I don't see anything respectable at all about surgically altering yourself so you can gorge and still lose weight,

I also don't see..

wait, is that a cheeseburger?

Re:Immaculate bulimia (3, Interesting)

retroworks (652802) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579073)

There should be some way to preserve and reuse the pumpings, perhaps compost or soylent green or something.

renewable bulimia (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579267)

Yes, and energy should somehow be extracted from it and fed back into the grid

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (5, Insightful)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579101)

The tube should ameliorate some of the dangerous effects of repeated exposure to gastric acids by the sensitive tissues and teeth of the mouth and throat, so there is that...

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (2)

psithurism (1642461) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579415)

The tube should ameliorate some of the dangerous effects of repeated exposure to gastric acids by the sensitive tissues and teeth of the mouth and throat, so there is that...

I figured that was a good reason until I got to this part:

The user then squeezes a little plastic bag to replace that volume of stomach-stew with water.

...wait, what's wrong with the original tube they've been cramming cheeseburgers down before hand? Going number four is OK for these people as they try to lose weight, but drinking water is still too hard a road towards health?

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (3, Interesting)

cffrost (885375) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579433)

The tube should ameliorate some of the dangerous effects of repeated exposure to gastric acids by the sensitive tissues and teeth of the mouth and throat, so there is that...

Sure, but the same benefits can be achieved via do-it-yourself nasogastric intubation, using a length of latex tubing and a hand-pump from the hardware store. No surgery, no inter-abdominal infection vector, no awkward situations in the bedroom or airport, and a total investment equivalent to a plateful of cheeseburgers.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (3, Informative)

Nemyst (1383049) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579143)

The difference is that bulimia is a mental disorder first and foremost. People go in cycles of bulimia and anorexia, they often aren't actually fat, and they'll usually have binges of eating before vomiting. On top of that, they'll rarely actually say anything to anyone.

I can't see this not being supervised by a doctor, considering the tubes going in your body and all that. It's not the kind of thing you can do in your kitchen. It'll come with restrictions attached and a strict diet, if anything, so that people can get the tubes removed as soon as possible.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (1)

LordLucless (582312) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579165)

Depends what you mean by "bulimia", I guess. Like anorexia, I thought the disease was characterised by its psychological components (ie: binging, guilt, desire for an unattainable ideal, etc) more than the physical means used in response to those drives. For instance, binging followed by taking laxatives, or binging followed by an extreme diet are considered examples of bulimia - but not all people who go an an extreme diet or take laxatives are bulimic.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579247)

Depends what you mean by "bulimia", I guess. Like anorexia, I thought the disease was characterised by its psychological components

Such as being a drama queen?

I am the high priest of the church of the painful truth.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (2)

mug funky (910186) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579171)

you don't get acid-etched teeth and terrible breath either.

but a tube in the stomach seems like an unnecessary infection vector, and the whole contraption is just a dangerous, painful and expensive replacement for just eating less and drinking more water.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (1)

kiddygrinder (605598) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579373)

the problem is it takes will power out of the equation

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (1)

flayzernax (1060680) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579367)

It wont work for the vast majority of people who have problems eating too much. Its because of a lack of satiation. Emptying the stomach does not fix that issue.

Re:Isn't this just bulimia? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579443)

Yeah, I don't really see this as a useful alternative to a healthy diet and regular exercise.

However, even for healthy individuals I suspect there are times some might not object to having access to this stomach pump. Just last week I made the mistake of overeating, just one meal. I'm not overweight and I do exercise regularly, this was at a dinner at a friend's place and they decided to be all fancy with a three course dinner with big servings, the food was good and I didn't want to be rude by declining dessert. By the time I left I felt absolutely stuffed, uncomfortably so. I'll admit that had I had this machine available it would've been tempting to alleviate some of that discomfort with it.

p>But once again, regular use to combat obesity? Nah, that doesn't seem right.

The Roman Way (1)

Frosty Piss (770223) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579013)

I'd rather do it the Roman way - stuff myself silly and drink until dawn, than just vomit it all up...

Re:The Roman Way (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579071)

Join a college fraternity.

Re:The Roman Way (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579163)

That only happened once, because they would be killed if they didn't finish eating.

Re:The Roman Way (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579279)

That's a common myth based on the existence of a "vomitorium". But the "vomitorium" was actually just the exit from a sports stadium.

You can't vomit regularly; you get ulcers, it becomes extremely painful, and it destroys your esophagus and your teeth.

Re:The Roman Way (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579305)

You can't vomit regularly; you get ulcers, it becomes extremely painful, and it destroys your esophagus and your teeth.

It's as if nature were trying to tell us something...

Or you could just eat less (1)

Osgeld (1900440) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579015)

maybe drink more water so you feel full?

Well, this is lovely. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579017)

Let the great global in-home vomitoriums commence!

Name: (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579019)

BULI - O-MATIC

Did You Think, Maybe... (4, Insightful)

Greyfox (87712) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579021)

Just not eat all those cheeseburgers in the first place? Hah! Crazy talk, I know!

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579117)

I'm not sure that actually occurs to people.

I've seen many folks 100+ pounds overweight who complain about their weight and all the health problems they have resultingly, but cant seem to understand that eating the massive number of calories they do is WHY they are fat. It's like in their minds there's some magic farie who adds fat to their body, and it's nothing at all to do with their caloric intake.

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (0, Troll)

Jmc23 (2353706) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579153)

Well, there are those fat people who it does occur to but are two stupid to understand that you need a certain amount of fat and calories, so their bodies go into starvation mode and they stay fat living like a bird.

Then again, it takes all kinds of stupid people, like stupid people like you who don't realize there is more than one reason people are fat.

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (1)

mug funky (910186) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579185)

starvation mode is remarkably efficient if you stop eating completely.

of course, this wont guarantee the weight stays off.

so... how about seeing a doctor, nutritionist and figuring out just what diet (and exercise regimen) is likely to work?

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (4, Informative)

SternisheFan (2529412) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579245)

When you are in 'starvation mode', your body saves every calorie it gets so that it can be burned later. This is an evolutionay trait from when humans went for long periods between meals. You might not get to chase down and successfully kill another deer for months.

When your body has consistent meals for about thirty days or so, your body 'learns' that it is now 'okay' to begin burning extra calories again.

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579265)

if starvation mode is as efficient as fat fucks claim then no one would starve to death. ever seen how fast someone on a hunger strike shrivels up? fat fucks who claim they are fat because of starvation mode are just gorging themselves when no one's looking. they can lie to themselves all they want but don't expect anyone else to buy it.

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (1)

russotto (537200) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579295)

so... how about seeing a doctor, nutritionist and figuring out just what diet (and exercise regimen) is likely to work?

Because they have no clue either? And further when you're fooling yourself, you can fool your doctor or nutritionist just as easily. (Well, they might not believe you, but contradicting you won't help).

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579217)

Oh, so that's why everyone in Auschwitz was so plump and chunky! They were all in "starvation mode" and eating like birds! Now it makes sense! I thought maybe they were just big boned!

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579249)

There's pretty much just one reason people get fat: calories in through all sources exceed calories burned through all sinks (including internal metabolic ones).

There's no magic involved. The laws of thermodynamics apply: human bodies do not create mass from nothing.

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579401)

There's pretty much just one reason people get fat: calories in through all sources exceed calories burned through all sinks (including internal metabolic ones).

Thyroid disease.

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (1)

pepty (1976012) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579413)

It turns out that if you've lost more than about 10% of your body weight that you've had for a long time your body goes into starvation mode even if you do eat that certain amount of fat and calories. Starvation mode (i.e., appetite related hormonal changes normally associated with starvation) kicks in with weight loss and stays around for a year or more even if you are eating normally.

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (2)

0111 1110 (518466) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579451)

And then there are people too stupid to realize that there is a limit to how efficient your body can be and that the idea of "starvation mode" is a myth. The body can make use of calories with some greater efficiency, but not to any sort of order of magnitude. Starvation diets do work. At least for a while. They don't stop working because the body has become more efficient at deriving energy from food. They stop working because the people on them just can't take them anymore. The most weight I've ever lost in a short period of time was by only eating with a skinny friend of mine and only eating exactly the same amount that he ate. The night time cravings for snacking on things like cookies was immense, but if he didn't eat I didn't eat and it worked very very well.

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579167)

Yeah fat people always act like they have some "slow metabolism" or "big bones" but if you see them they are just always eating! there was some dude at my gym trying to lose weight and as soon as he finished working out he sit down and gobble a carton of yogurt and he's all "yeah, but yogurt is healthy for you!" it's like dude, yeah, but that doesn't mean the laws of physics don't apply...sheesh. and then when he doesn't lose weight he decide it's because skinny people are just all lucky pricks who magically stay thin.

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579263)

This. Fat people are kings of the American victim complex.

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (0)

MightyMartian (840721) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579275)

Brought to you by "Tales From The Bathroom Mirror"

Re:Did You Think, Maybe... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579327)

Brought to you by "Tales From The Bathroom Mirror"

And with that, MightyMartian self-identifies himself as a fattie. Aww, look isn't that just so CUTE! He has fat rage! I know dear, how DARE anybody suggest that you bear any responsibility whatsoever for the life you have chosen. The nerve!

You better get back at them by suggesting they have the same problem, even though they just demonstrated knowledge that people who overeat don't actually have. Oh, I see you already did that.

So... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579023)

You just waste the food...

Why not just chew it and then spit it out and drink a glass of water?

Re:So... (2)

rnswebx (473058) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579125)

Yea, because that way you totally don't waste the food......

Re:So... (1)

LordLucless (582312) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579179)

Given that without using this device, you'll put on fat you'll likely never need, and excrete the rest, the food was probably being wasted anyhow.

Hey it works! (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579029)

My stomach just pumped itself, all over my keyboard, whilst reading about it.

so apparently it works (1)

pbjones (315127) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579037)

so do tapeworms, and not eating so much crap food!!

Re:so apparently it works (1)

c0lo (1497653) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579065)

so do tapeworms,

Careful [wikipedia.org] with those.

Re:so apparently it works (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579307)

Not that I'm endorsing it, but there are many different tapeworms, and some don't usually form cysts in humans.

And it's likely still less risky than having a hole in your stomach or a tube down your throat.

Re:so apparently it works (1)

kiddygrinder (605598) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579393)

are pork tapeworms the only unsafe ones?

revolutionary! (5, Funny)

terec (2797475) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579039)

This is going to revolutionize nutrition and eating, just like the Ginger/Segway has revolutionized transportation in our cities.

Re:revolutionary! (2)

Frosty Piss (770223) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579241)

This is going to revolutionize nutrition and eating, just like the Ginger/Segway has revolutionized transportation in our cities.

If the Segway was not so damn expensive, more people might use them.

Re:revolutionary! (0, Troll)

cffrost (885375) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579323)

If the Segway was not so damn expensive, more people might use them.

Yup. I wanna look like a fucking jackass, but it costs too much money.

Re:revolutionary! (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579341)

It's not enough for an invention to be clever, it needs to be better than the alternatives. And a bike still beats a Segway hands down, both in terms of functionality and in terms of price.

Re:revolutionary! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579439)

This is going to revolutionize nutrition and eating, just like the Ginger/Segway has revolutionized transportation in our cities.

If the Segway was not so damn expensive, more people might use them.

And stomach discharge tubes are going to cost more than segways!

what a waste (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579047)

so I will spend $60 in a glorious dinner. then this tube will puke it for me. sounds stupid

Re:what a waste (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579099)

Why? You already got to taste it. This sounds better than pooping it out while putting on a couple of another 5 lbs.

Re:what a waste (1, Interesting)

jamesh (87723) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579123)

so I will spend $60 in a glorious dinner. then this tube will puke it for me. sounds stupid

Sure. If you needed the nutrition provided by your $60 dinner then puking through a tube would indeed be stupid. Obviously you haven't taken a few seconds to consider the target market for this product.

For fatties who don't need the food but love eating this is the perfect solution. I imagine version 2 will attach directly into your stomach through your chest and do away with all that hassle of sticking a tube down your throat. Then restaurants will be able to have an all-you-can-eat icecream bar that never needs refilling... from external sources. You pay a cover change plus whatever the difference is in your weight between when you arrive and when you leave.

And don't listen to anyone who tells you you don't need this machine and to just eat less. Why deny yourself the orally fixated pleasure of eating? Screw the starving kids in Africa. It's your right to eat that $60 meal and then pour it down the toilet when you're done. Your _RIGHT_ goddammit.

Re:what a waste (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579231)

May I perhaps recommend adopting oral fixations that aren't fattening? They'll improve your marriage and your body.

Re:what a waste (1)

retchdog (1319261) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579299)

smoking?

Re:what a waste (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579291)

For fatties who don't need the food but love eating this is the perfect solution.

If this ever catches on I'm literally done with western society and its disgusting waste.

How it works: (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579059)

Using that thing would definitely put me off food.

Broccoli? Really? (5, Insightful)

GenieGenieGenie (942725) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579061)

Why on earth would you want to suck out the broccoli? This gadget needs a fiberscopic camera that will allow you to view the semi-digested morsels and suck out the ones you don't want to keep.

Re:Broccoli? Really? (1)

Austerity Empowers (669817) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579115)

Yeah I don't think we're getting fat on Broccoli. Maybe if it can suck the ranch dressing or cheese off the broccoli we can call it a deal.

Re:Broccoli? Really? (1)

kiddygrinder (605598) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579399)

somehow i don't think the people eating broccoli really are the target market

Soylent orange... (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579097)

... It's made of what eventually would have been people!

now all he has to do is get the government to pay! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579107)

i mean just think of the whole five people you've actually seen in real life on a Segway...where any of them NOT government employees? Only people I've seen using those things are fatass NYPD beatcops giving directions to tourist in Times Square. I'm sure this guy will find a way for medicare or medicaid or obamacare or some kind of government cash funnel to buy a bunch of these fucking things.

Re:now all he has to do is get the government to p (1)

mug funky (910186) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579205)

fuck are you talking about, fool?

only segways i've seen are for hire in touristy cities for walking tours (or, rather, segway tours), or at big convention centres.

cops on segways? i should take up petty theft, though i wouldn't want to get run over by a fat cop on a segway.

Ewww (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579109)

Just ewww.

Congrats again to Mr. Kamen (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579129)

Though anyone else feel a little queasy reading the summary?

Actually I can see how this makes sense. Kind of like how e-cigs have gotten me off of smoking regular cigs for the last three years. It's an effective middle ground that satisfies the overwhelming urge, but takes away the worst side effect.

How lazy do you have to be (1)

Nyder (754090) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579131)

to get this installed?

You could eat it twice (1)

ozduo (2043408) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579159)

and much easier to digest a second time, well camels do it!

My Reaction (4, Insightful)

jIyajbe (662197) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579173)

Eeewww.

Seriously, EEEWWW.

Re:My Reaction (1)

rewarp (1736742) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579455)

Actually makes bullimia appealing.

Hard To Prepare Foods = The Win (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579213)

Several studies have show obese people prefer easily accessible food.

Stock up on hard-to-prepare food: eggs, flour, potatoes, etc.

These foods also happen to be inexpensive. And cuts down on all types of "impulse eating" as you ask yourself "Do I really want to spend 15 minutes on a snack or can I wait?" Of course, this practical advice doesn't make a guy on TV any money and doesn't make a mega-corp any money and doesn't sell books on a talk show ...

Re:Hard To Prepare Foods = The Win (1)

retchdog (1319261) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579311)

i'm almost convinced that eating whole grains works for weight loss simply because it doesn't taste as good as white flour.

the fiber has other benefits, of course.

Re:Hard To Prepare Foods = The Win (2)

LordLucless (582312) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579319)

Of course, this practical advice doesn't make a guy on TV any money and doesn't make a mega-corp any money and doesn't sell books on a talk show

Sure it does. Jamie Oliver for one has about three different shows running on the free view channels here, and a squizillion books.

Re:Hard To Prepare Foods = The Win (1)

kiddygrinder (605598) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579447)

i love that guy, he's all about good tastes and how just fucking learning to cook can give your mouth a better time than jamming it full of lard

Re:Hard To Prepare Foods = The Win (1)

kiddygrinder (605598) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579435)

that's pretty true, i eat worse at work because i can simply give someone a couple bucks who's going on a food run or eat from those stupid charity junk food boxes... even though i don't eat very "diety" (i had a mad cheesy pasta with bacon for lunch today) i still lose weight at home, after 2 weeks holiday i couldn't finish a footlong from subways.

Reminds me of food waste statistics (1, Insightful)

Burz (138833) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579251)

"Recent estimates suggest that 16 per cent of the energy consumed in the US is used to produce food. Yet at least 25 per cent of food is wasted each year..." [newscientist.com]

"There are nearly a billion malnourished people in the world, but all of them could be lifted out of hunger with less than a quarter of the food wasted in Europe and North America. In a globalised food system, where we are all buying food in the same international market place, that means we're taking food out of the mouths of the poor." [guardian.co.uk]

In this context, a food evacuator for pampered fat people seems like the height of absurdity as if were something taken directly off the page of a Monty Python or Yes Men script.

Re:Reminds me of food waste statistics (5, Insightful)

LordLucless (582312) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579361)

"There are nearly a billion malnourished people in the world, but all of them could be lifted out of hunger with less than a quarter of the food wasted in Europe and North America"

No, they couldn't, not unless that food could be transported to them and distributed before it became inedible. In countries with good infrastructure, that's not a problem, but those billion malnourished generally don't live in a place with good air freight service, well-maintained highways, and refrigerated trucking.

Any solution to global poverty is going to have to largely rely on bootstrapping local production. Despite importing a lot of food, most western nations export a whole lot more - they have sufficient capacity to feed themselves, and trade for variety/seasonality. Getting developing nations to the point of self sufficiency is key - anything else leaves them dependant on the developed world, which will screw them over when a drought/famine/whatever hits, and we have less excess to give.

Re:Reminds me of food waste statistics (0)

kiddygrinder (605598) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579453)

upvote this guy, i already posted

DO CRANK !! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579271)

And let your demons eat for you !!

Pumping your own stomach, hmmm? (1)

mark-t (151149) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579273)

Everything will be just fine, I'm sure. There's nothing that can go wrong with this. Nope. Not a thing. No sir-ee Bob.

Medical Device Testing illegally??? (1, Informative)

girlinatrainingbra (2738457) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579277)

So has this guy effectively created a medical device?? And is he testing it out on human subjects illegally??
:>(
And I agree with those who wrote earlier that this is a "mechanical barf-o-matic" without sticking your finger down your throat. So what is he claiming for the benefits??
.
bene 1: no acid reflux uppa your egophagus?
bene 2: no acid stains on your teeth and palate?
bene 3: barf yourself without the unpleasant taste coming through your mouth?
bene 4: no need to stick a finger down your throat
.
But what about the fucking risks?
risk 1: take a chance of sticking the tube down your lungs! Die from asphyxiation! (what, you think you're going to do this with assistance and people around, or shamefully hidden away like those girls barfing in the girls' room at school after lunch... You know that we can hear you barfing in there, right?)
risk 2: while you pull the tube back out, couldn't the acidic vomitola in the tube keep dripping down and fall into your trachea and lungs? Voila! Acid burns in the trachea and lungs! Aspiration pneumonia!!
risk 3: you're replacing all the good stuff in your stomach with water!! Do you want to know what happens when you fuck around with your precious bodily fluids?? Look at Bulimia [wikipedia.org] and water intoxication [wikipedia.org] : you get arrhtythmias, hypokalemia, comas and a slow painful death: Terri Schiavo [wikipedia.org] . risk 4: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypokalemia [wikipedia.org]
risk 5: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication [wikipedia.org]
risk 6: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electrolyte_disturbance [wikipedia.org]
risk 7: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_arrhythmia_death_syndrome [wikipedia.org]
.
Fuck the inventor of this stupidity and fuck this craziness of trying to make binge-purge socially acceptable. Fuck this madness of making purging socialy necessary or acceptable. Wasn't Dean Kamen the genius behind "Ginger"? : A code name for the Segway PT used before its release on December 3, 2001 (see last entry at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginger_(disambiguation) [wikipedia.org] ). Madness of the morons gone wild.

Re:Medical Device Testing illegally??? (1)

19thNervousBreakdown (768619) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579445)

How did you miss the part where the tube is surgically connected to a port on the abdomen?

Clearly dieting and exercise are passe. (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579315)

Dieting and exercise? For suckers. Bring on the pump.

Handy to have around if your kid gets poisoned (1)

sobolwolf (1084585) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579321)

If your kid swallows something nasty it would be good to have this handy. There are certain things that should not be vomited up and this could be a useful application for the device (more useful than what they are marketing it for anyway).

Whoa... (1)

davesque (1911272) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579329)

...how does this man's mind dart around like that? Or am I missing the obvious connection between self-balancing scooters and stomach pumps?

Re:Whoa... (1)

sobolwolf (1084585) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579335)

The "obvious connection" is that he is targeting lazy people!

Some obvious health risks (1)

NitWit005 (1717412) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579337)

Any opening into the human body is going to substantially increase risk of infection. It sounds like the tubes on this thing can get clogged easily and I'm not sure what you're expected to do when that happens. It doesn't sound like a great risk/reward trade off.

Dean Kamen inventions (1, Interesting)

Sussurros (2457406) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579343)

Some of Dean Kamen's inventions, and they are far too many to list, are serious and lifesaving or serious and useful. Some are astonishing like the whhelchair that lifts the person in it to standing height when they need to. Other inventions of his are kind of fun but rather silly. My personal favourite is an analog clock with oval gears that slows down during work hours and speeds up during lunch break.

Let's go (1)

lahvak (69490) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579347)

...dancing in a dioxin dump...

Back in the old days... (1)

CODiNE (27417) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579355)

Word of the day: vomitorium [archive.org] .

Soon to lose it's myth status?

Regurgitation feeding (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579359)

Now struggling mothers can cut down on their food costs and still feed their children.
"Are you going to eat that.. again?"

From the 22nd century... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579363)

this will be the moment historians will point to.

You could ... (1)

PPH (736903) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579375)

... just not stuff that cheeseburger in your pie-hole to begin with.

I think I'll apply for a patent on that.

This doesn't change behaviour... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42579425)

So basically, they don't change what they eat, or how much of it they eat...they just remove the effects of eating it...and when they stop using the device they will gain the weight right back...in fact, if the body thinks it needs to eat _more_ to get the same nutrition, the patient may end up heavier.

I'm sorry, but this is beyond stupid...it's only effective as a permanent implant, which would totally compromise quality of life.

Another failure, or smart marketing? (1)

manu0601 (2221348) | about a year and a half ago | (#42579463)

We have a standard form for spam solution failures [craphound.com] , we should really have the same for tricks to loose weight.

That solution is likely to help loosing weight, but as soon as the user will stop using that tube, (s)he will regain weight, thanks to the negative feedback [wikipedia.org] the body maintains on its adipose stocks. But perhaps this is not a bug, but a feature : once someone use it and gets satisfied by the results, this is a product that will be hard to put down.

Good solutions to loose weight on the long term are to modify the diet forever (eat less carb if you want to give your body a chance to burn fat), or to modify exercise habits forever (building muscle is especially interesting as it burns fat even when one is not exercising)

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