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Valve and JJ Abrams Collaborating On Half-Life, Portal Movies

Soulskill posted about a year and a half ago | from the this-was-a-triumph dept.

Movies 208

LordStormes writes "JJ Abrams, who apparently plans to direct every movie for the rest of time, is teaming with Gabe Newell and Valve to explore films for both the Half-Life and Portal franchises. 'Abrams and Newell made the surprise, succinct announcement at the end of their keynote speech, which took the form of a carefully rehearsed discussion between the two creatives about the strengths and weaknesses of games and movies as storytelling mediums. ... "Movies let you experience moments that you might not think are the point, but really are everything,” Abrams said, pointing to the early introduction of compressed air canisters in the opening scenes of the movie Jaws, which initially seem unimportant but prove consequential to the film’s ending. Newell pointed out that the “take your child to work” scene in Portal 2 accomplished the same thing, setting up important plot points in a way that made them initially seem like humorous throwaways.' No word on Half-Life 3, sadly..."

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208 comments

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A Portal movie?!?!? (5, Insightful)

crazyjj (2598719) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812233)

First of all, that is the stupidest fucking idea I have ever heard, even by dumbass Hollywood standards. The whole point of the Portal games was for YOU to solve puzzles in creative and fun ways. Making that into a passive experience renders the whole thing absolutely pointless. I would rather watch an Adam Sandler movie while eating shards of glass, with Lindsay Lohan's week-old panties wrapped under my nose.

Secondly, does JJ Abrams have blackmail photos of every studio head in Hollywood or something? Because the guy never struck me as particularly talented, certainly not enough to warrant letting him direct EVERY GODDAMNED MOVIE MADE FROM NOW ON. Not since Keanu Reeves has a less deserving motherfucker gotten so much.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (5, Insightful)

Sebastopol (189276) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812267)

Good thing this isn't reddit, or you'd find yourself at zero karma.

I learned not to point out the relative lack of talent of J.J. (and Joss) the hard way.

I completely agree with you though.

I don't get it: we've all seen LOST, Cloverfield, Super8, Star Trek... there's no reason for people to not see how mediocre this guy is. Why do they keep giving JJ the prime scifi?

I'll answer my own question: Justin Beiber.

+10 for the Keanu Reeves. "Dangerous Liaisons" should have been enough warning.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812341)

I really liked Fringe, but I don't know how much influence JJ had with that, but yeah the rest of your list is epic fail.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (4, Informative)

YodasEvilTwin (2014446) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812345)

Fringe is the best show I've ever watched.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (4, Insightful)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812415)

John Noble made Fringe great.

Adapting to a completely new universe (and/or completely different era) in which some of the previous universe may or may not have existed every season grew tiresome. Ir provided for some interesting twists, but it became difficult to care for anything or anyone once you realized they might simply not exist next time someone powers up a mystery machine. Even deaths became meaningless. How could I feel anything for someone who'd probably just exist in another universe or timeline if they "died" on the show?

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

XxtraLarGe (551297) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812617)

Fringe is the best show I've ever watched.

My wife & I are enjoying Fringe quite a bit. We're currently watching it on Amazon Prime. We're on season 3. Guess I'll have to avoid the entire rest of this thread so I don't see any more spoilers...

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (3, Funny)

M0j0_j0j0 (1250800) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812747)

They all die in the end, its quite sad.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

XxtraLarGe (551297) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812861)

They all die in the end, its quite sad.

So just like in real life, eh?

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (4, Funny)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812897)

Actually, the mortality rate of humans is only 93%.

http://what-if.xkcd.com/27/ [xkcd.com]

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812961)

Guess I'll have to avoid the entire rest of THE INTERNET so I don't see any more spoilers...

...yeah...

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42813517)

That's because you're probably a 13 year old boy and haven't seen much.

In ten years tell me how great Fringe was.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (2)

LateArthurDent (1403947) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813559)

Fringe is the best show I've ever watched.

I'm sorry.

I don't think I've ever recommended to anyone that they should watch more TV, but in your case, I don't think there's any harm, since you obviously don't watch much. Have you, in fact, watched any other shows?

If you ignore reality TV, there's not much of anything worse than Fringe.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (-1, Troll)

turauqar (2834797) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813639)

http://www.cloud65.com/ [cloud65.com] until I saw the draft for $8765, I did not believe ...that...my friends brother woz like they say realey bringing in money parttime on there computar.. there best friend has been doing this less than twentey months and by now cleared the morgage on their house and purchased a gorgeous Lotus Esprit. this is where I went,

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (2)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812435)

The answer is simple. He's a classic home-run hitter.

Most of his hits are "Alcatraz" pop-ups caught just past the infield. But you only make hundreds of millions if you get your home run to syndication - and for all the Alcatraz pop-ups, he keeps hitting a fair amount of Person of Interest home runs.

Swing for the fences!

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (5, Insightful)

jxander (2605655) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812775)

Interesting...

I was going in the exact opposite direction with that. I would consider JJ a high percentage batter. Lots of base hits, very few strikeouts. Of the things I've seen, JJ produces perfectly serviceable works, with no colossal flops. Lost was pretty good. Started out a bit above average, imo, but suffered due to the writers strike and some making-shit-up-as-you-go. Super8 and Star Trek were both good movies. Nothing spectacular, but both enjoyable. Same thing with Mission Impossible: decent flick, while certainly not setting Hollywood ablaze. Cloverfield was a good premise, and really only suffered to due the shaky-cam...

Perhaps that's why he's so popular right now. Studios aren't willing to "swing for the fences." They want a steady hand that will ensure decent returns.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813185)

From a TV perspective, there's a lot more "Undercover," "Anatomy of Hope" and "Shelter" out there than there's Lost.

Fringe almost got caught at the wall :) and it looks like Revolution is going to get ruled a ground rule double.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812501)

I learned not to point out the relative lack of talent of J.J. (and Joss) the hard way.

Hey, hey, hey! You forgot about Felicity [wikipedia.org] ! JJ Abrams has lots of talent. Unfortunately, almost none of his talent applies to sci fi in any way whatsoever.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812895)

You shut your whore mouth. Joss writes some really great dialog. He just needs help with story arcs.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

fermion (181285) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813053)

J.J. and Joss both do certain things well. Joss is able to do some pretty interesting things on a pretty low budget, and has a good handle on story structure. When he has a budget, sometimes that is a problem. I can't believe that he did not know cows don't walk on grates. One thing that people like about Joss is he a writer that does promote strong female characters, which may or may not be of value

J.J. OTOH, does not get bogged down in continuity or story structure, which allows him to move in direction that would otherwise constrain some writers, and is not afraid of taking a plot element to extreme, and is ok leaving plot elements with no payoff. Like in alias Laura being all of the sudden a double agent, and every male character being married to a double agent. Or the black gas ghost in Lost. It is pure random crap, which many people like. I can tolerate it there are pretty people to look at. Which apparently is that basis of Star Trek now, at least much more than it was before.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42813283)

You guys are looking at it wrong. Prime sci-fi? Hardly! Tell me, when was the last time you played a game that was based on a movie that didn't suck? When did you ever see a movie made from a game that didn't suck?

"Hey, this movie's going to suck anyway, just give it to Abrams."

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (5, Insightful)

dywolf (2673597) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813323)

People disagree with me about movies!
They're all idiots to not agree with my clearly superior intelligence!

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (3, Funny)

Sebastopol (189276) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813541)

YOU understand me! /hug

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42813477)

I learned not to point out the relative lack of talent of J.J. (and Joss) the hard way.

Did you really just compare Joss Whedon to JJ Abrams? Joss Whedon's directing abilities aside, he's the best screenwriter currently alive.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (2, Insightful)

Sebastopol (189276) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813551)

FTFY:

"he's currently the best Hollywood teeniebopper action flick screenwriter currently alive."

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813595)

I'm getting trolled by an AC, but...

Joss Whedon's directing abilities aside, he's the best screenwriter currently alive.

WUT?

Cohen? Mammet? Sorkin?

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (5, Insightful)

Bieeanda (961632) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812403)

Someone's already done a short Portal movie (search Youtube for 'Portal: No Escape'; I don't want to accidentally give hits where they aren't due), but you're right. It's really difficult to pull off a film where there is only one visible, active actor. It's possible, but while I enjoy Abrams' oeuvre for its flashes of cleverness and all of its ridiculous spectacle, I don't think he could pull off a straight-up Chell vs. GlaDOS.

Of course, this is assuming that everything is based on the games and not the broader continuity they're built from. A movie about Gordon Freeman squeezing antlion bits, or Chell discovering that the cake is (twist ending!) moist, delicious, and real? No. God, no.

A movie based around the events of the Seven Hour War, or the events leading up to GlaDOS going on-line, on the other hands? Those, or something strongly resembling those, I could see.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42813375)

I've seen the Portal short and I thought it was a pretty good attempt at setting a mood that I liked, but I can't help but to think of that old two-parter Bionic Woman where she went head to eyespot against a HAL-like computer.

-B

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (5, Insightful)

El_Muerte_TDS (592157) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812431)

First of all, that is the stupidest fucking idea I have ever heard, even by dumbass Hollywood standards.

I guess you haven't heard about: Battleship [imdb.com] . It really is based on the table top game.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (5, Funny)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812511)

Best Battleship review I saw:

MISS!

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

dywolf (2673597) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813519)

you have no appreciation for explosions

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813609)

My appreciation of explosions has little to do with how funny the review was. [n.b. explosions are wicked awesome.]

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

squiggleslash (241428) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812709)

Maybe they could go totally meta and do "Steam", with a rival studio releasing "Google Play Store" just to pre-empt them.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

Adam Gignac (2834761) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812873)

My "favorite" part about the Battleship movie is the video game. How is the game based on a movie based on a game NOT just the original game?

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42813343)

Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

Kenja (541830) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812497)

First of all, that is the stupidest fucking idea I have ever heard, even by dumbass Hollywood standards.

Really? Worse then Mall Cop 2?

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (-1, Troll)

sammojohn (2834771) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812557)

Very disappointed with they way people comment nowadays. So immature and childish. Grow up or keep quiet. Simple. You will find out that the majority of people do admire J.J. Abrams and believe that he is indeed talented. Your contrary belief is your own and there is nothing wrong with that. Just don't go out shouting about it, making it seem that your are right and everyone else is just stupid. Cause you look foolish.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812797)

I have to agree with you. Abrams isn't going to make another Metropolis or 2001 or Casablanca or you name it. Abrams isn't even good at doing science fiction. I refuse to recognize the new Star Trek film as science fiction, because it isn't. There are already comments here and there are surely comments to come that need to pull back and get some perspective.

What he's good at doing are action movies that are based in geek culture. Star Wars is probably the most relevant franchise in that vein for him to do, but once you get some perspective, Star Trek (the new one) was actually a good movie. It wasn't a good sci-fi. It was a good action movie. There's definitely enough in Half Life that's aliens-esque for him to be successful. What it's not going to be is a resonance cascade followed by two hours of a man in an HEV suit running around with a crowbar. What it could be is a resonance cascade followed by two hours depicting, as another poster pointed out, the events of the seven hours' war.

For that matter, there are other games that take place after the resonance cascade from different viewpoints. Why would an Abrams Half Life movie even need to be from the Freeman's (*ducks*) perspective anyway? What about the Xen? Where does the nihilanth fit in with all this? What about the G Man, his "employers," and why are the Xen trying to steal our crowbar wielding hero away from him?

I guess what I'm saying is there's tons of stuff to work with in the Half Life universe (not to mention the Borealis for the Portal tie-in, which appears to have teleported the same place that HL2 ep 3 went: nowhere). I think he'd make it a fantastic action thriller about an extra-dimensional invasion.

It's not going to be hardcore sci-fi, though. Once you stop expecting it to be, you can have some fun and enjoy the ride.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

crazyjj (2598719) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812801)

You will find out that the majority of people do admire J.J. Abrams and believe that he is indeed talented

Irrespective of his talent (or lack thereof), Orson Welles wouldn't have deserved the slovenly ass-kissing that Hollywood has been bestowing on JJ Abrams of late.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (4, Insightful)

AK Marc (707885) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813003)

If youtube has taught us anything, it's that you must be direct and over the top, or nobody will care. JJ is like that. The summary implies that he only recently discovered foreshadowing and thinks it's a really cool thing. All his stuff strikes me as if he's a 12 year old. It works because so many adults are 12 year olds, but it's almost to the point of intelligence insulting (why so many here don't like him). I wish people would stop pointing him out. Now, when I see a JJ movie, I picture him smoking weed, drinking Mountain Dew and muching cheetos repeating "then we'll have an even bigger ice monster come out and eat the one chasing Kirk" "but sir, on an ice planet, the largest creatures wouldbe smaller because there wouldn't be enough biomass to support them." "But it'd be fucking cool. He he he he."

There was never a lamer example of his subtilty (and lack of logic) to have the larger creature kill and discard the one chasing Kirk, only to go after the smaller creature it was chasing. That's like a lion abandoning a recent gazelle kill to chase a mouse. It'd never happen. But he breaks all laws of physics and nature if he thinks it will cause a thrill. That's why people don't like him. That, and he's stuck in camera trick heaven. Lens flair, shakey cam, and all that. It breaks the 4th wall for many of us, not drawing us in as he asserts it does.

But it's simpler and more likely to be read if I just say "JJ is a hack who huts that which he touches." Immature and childish, but more likely to be read and understood.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (4, Interesting)

Antipater (2053064) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813407)

He was making a movie based on a TV show where characters would routinely say things like "Sir, the surface of the planet is negative four hundred degrees Celsius." Please don't look for scientific realism in anything Star Trek related.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (2)

N0Man74 (1620447) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812643)

Eh, I agree that a Portal movie seems rather weak. Portal is brilliant, and is a great game experience, but I just don't think a movie, novelization, comic book series, cartoon, would be an appropriate medium for it.

However, if you think that this is anyway the stupidest idea that Hollywood has ever come up with, then I envy your sheltered life.

The Half-Life series might could work as a movie... maybe. It would be a cheesy film horror action/adventure/horror movie, but I could see it working.

I'm reluctant to comment on Abrams, since I've only seen a fraction of his work. I loved Fringe and Super 8, never saw Lost, and I thought Star Trek was very uneven (a few great traits buried in over-the-top fan-service to the point that it was nearly a parody of itself).

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

operagost (62405) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812823)

I would rather watch an Adam Sandler movie while eating shards of glass, with Lindsay Lohan's week-old panties wrapped under my nose.

Rule 34 invoked.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

Capt.DrumkenBum (1173011) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812899)

First of all, that is the stupidest fucking idea I have ever heard

One word: Battleship

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

Dr_Barnowl (709838) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813091)

It was entertaining, mostly because you were keenly anticipating the moment that Liam Neeson kicks Taylor Kitsch so hard in the balls that they form a coherent plasma burst that destroys the alien invasion.

"Total Complete Douche Saves the World" is probably a reasonable summary of the plot.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

i_ate_god (899684) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812963)

Cube was a good movie.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

jgtg32a (1173373) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813163)

Haven't seen it yet, in my Netflix queue, but this was my first thought on how it could be done.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

Hatta (162192) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812993)

Because the guy never struck me as particularly talented

So he's a better than average Hollywood director.

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813359)

I would rather watch an Adam Sandler movie while eating shards of glass, with Lindsay Lohan's week-old panties wrapped under my nose.

Now, that's a bit harsh. Things could always be worse [youtube.com] .

Re:A Portal movie?!?!? (1)

cout (4249) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813463)

At least it's not Michael Bay.

first post (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812235)

yay?

Re:first post (0)

eksith (2776419) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812377)

Due to the way Slashdot works, I'll hijack this inane post's thread to get a foothold somewhere close to the top. Thanks, AC!

This will likely go down the road Doom did, unless Abrams can pull something similar to the movie Moon (2009), which I thougth was a very good one examining existential themes and maybe blend it with Pandorum which showed what happens after long-term isolation after, apparently, everyone else is either gone or mad (though, hopefully, it won't become lame horror).

Thanks for the spoiler (2)

XxtraLarGe (551297) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812265)

I haven't played Portal 2 yet, you insensitive clod!

Re:Thanks for the spoiler (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812399)

Shit, I haven't even played the first one.

Re:Thanks for the spoiler (2)

crazyjj (2598719) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812445)

At the end, it turns out that GlaDOS was actually a ghost the entire time.

Re:Thanks for the spoiler (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812593)

In the first Portal it's already mentioned that Chell arrived at Aperture Science thanks to "take your child to work day", so it's not much of a spoiler. Likewise, the article didn't say what it was about the subject in Portal 2 that made it relevant to anything later. Not much of a spoiler either.

People can now complain that they hadn't yet played the first Portal and are upset that I've spoiled it for them :-)

Re:Thanks for the spoiler (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812699)

Plus, the cake is a lie.

Gordon Freeman (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812283)

Is it going to be a silent film?

Re:Gordon Freeman (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812601)

Nah, the idiot will probably give Freeman lines and fuck it all up.

Re:Gordon Freeman (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812719)

I was a scientist, but something told me I needed to bring a crowbar to work that day...

Re:Gordon Freeman (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812729)

Is it going to be a silent film?

Nah, it'll probably be from the perspective of someone else in the Half-Life universe...

"Dear Dr. Breen: Why have the Combine seen fit to suppress our reproductive urges? Signed, a Concerned citizen."

Less Movie, More Game (1)

elzurawka (671029) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812369)

Valve needs to concentrade on releasing the next edition of the game, and stop working on a 1000 other projects on the sidelines.

Re:Less Movie, More Game (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812503)

And when they do finally bother to make a game, don't whine for three of the "developer comentary" marks about pronoun use in english.

If I turn on commentary mode, I want to learn about the game design, not about some petty argument with a Grammar Nazi about ungenderred pronouns!

Re:Less Movie, More Game (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812583)

I disagree. I think it's nice for them to have developped a culture where they can do what they want. They probably sleep better at night and enjoy life much better. Quite frankly, I envy the work environment that they have. With that said, yes, I would love to play Half Life 3 last year. I just hope they release it on Linux at the same time as they release it on Windows.

Closure (2)

az26er (1179135) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812389)

Now we'll finally know how Episode 3 ends.

Re:Closure (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812715)

Now we'll finally know how Episode 3 ends.

Luke is his own father.

Gordon Freeman played by (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812407)

Bryan Cranston (Walter White from Breaking Bad), I'll totally watch that movie

Bryan Cranston (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812439)

This should dovetail nicely with Bryan Cranston's "Breaking Bad" time commitment wrapping up.

I nominate Bryan Cranston to play Gordon Freeman.

Re:Bryan Cranston is too old (1)

BenJeremy (181303) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813307)

Too Old.

Besides, he's not in the Abrams 'posse'

Gordon Freeman will be played by Zachary Quinto, obviously.

Re:Bryan Cranston is too old (1)

dywolf (2673597) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813565)

actually not a bad choice

Time Travel (1)

BenJeremy (181303) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812447)

It will have to involve time travel in the plot, right?

The portal gun will end up malfunctioning at the end, delivering Chell to the Black Mesa laboratories, just before Gordon Freeman arrives?

Portal? (3, Interesting)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812463)

The Dan Trachtenberg short film "Portal: No Escape" already proved (to a lot of people) that Portal would be a fun movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4drucg1A6Xk [youtube.com]

Re:Portal? (1)

leonardluen (211265) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812973)

it is good in a short little clip, almost like a movie trailer, but i don't know if it would scale up well to a full length film.

and i think the short is missing an ominous eye watching at the end.

Re:Portal? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42813523)

Between this and "Portal: Terminal Velocity", I can definitely see a compilation of short films a la Animatrix, but I think a feature film would have a hard time containing lots of 'aha' and 'whoa' moments while also being coherent.

How about Gabe Newell and Valve Collaborate.... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812465)

How about Gabe Newell and Valve Collaborate on releasing Half Life 3?

Because... (2)

Darkness404 (1287218) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812529)

Because movies based off of games have been awesome! You know like the Super Mario Bros movie...

Re:Because... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812771)

There's so many absolutely horrid video game moves out there.
Why does everyone always point out the only one I enjoyed? >:

Re:Because... (1)

AK Marc (707885) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813111)

Because you are the only one that would admit it. Though it was John Leguizamo's best roll, and Dennis Hopper's best movie. And Samantha Mathis was cute when we were both younger.

Re:Because... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812803)

Don't forget DOOM.

There was one good movie based on a game, and that was the FF7 movie. Not in theaters. :(

Re:Because... (1)

interkin3tic (1469267) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813349)

What was wrong with DOOM? If you went into a movie based on DOOM and expected more of a plot than "Evil aliens! Shoot em!!!" then that was really on you.

The FPS sequence was pretty much perfect. Again, for what it was. The best way to ensure you made a terrible DOOM movie would be trying to make it not be simple dumb violent action, since that was exactly what DOOM is.

Re:Because... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812829)

Please stop, my heart can only take so much. I don't think I could handle it if what happened to Doom happened to portal and half life.

Re:Because... (1)

i kan reed (749298) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812939)

Can't you draw a more recent example of awfulness than 20 years ago? All the recent video game movies I can think of come off as the kind of action shlock that doesn't interest me but makes tons of money on typical US audiences.

Re:Because... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42813061)

how about doom... "staring" the rock

Re:Because... (2)

infinite.intimation (1648461) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813471)

Ok. I don't understand your comment, is it supposed to be sarcastic? Or are you being serious; because Super Mario Bros was excellent as a film related to the "super mario bros" franchise, a mix of funny, and a little dark and a little just plain bizarre.
--
Taxation is how individually poor people pool resources under a common banner to do, build and invent new things. Taxation helped buy the baseline for the communications network you are using to complain about taxation*, among other things. Taxation and equalization of states is how the US was founded, and is able to exist at all, preventing the absolutely likely potential for interstate conflict (that the founders rightly saw as a hallmark of the history of Europe, which led to Great wars, which the founders helped us avoid reproducing [not sure where yr' coming from, U.S is context I know about]) (*and Super Mario Bros, incorrectly)

Production shots have already been leaked... (5, Funny)

sidragon.net (1238654) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812689)

Re:Production shots have already been leaked... (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812815)

Add some more lens flare
I'm making a note here: needs more punch!
It's hard to overcompensate bad lighting

Specular highlights
We use them a lot
Because we can

Hollywood out of ideas - ASCII PORTAL - THE MOVIE (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812749)

In all its 2D glory.

Could Be Worse - (1)

CanHasDIY (1672858) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812767)

They could have hired Micheal Bay to direct.

But why abrahms? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812809)

Ive seen everything he has worked on both as a producer, writer and director and to be honest he is mediocre at best. He has never done anything really good or even above average. He is just a very mediocre film maker.

Personally he ruined the new star trek movie. He didnt make it a real star trek movie. He made a safe and dumbed down action flick for the family that had the star trek name on it and had people that looked similliar to the original cast. Im not a huge star trek fan but I have seen just about everything star trek and I enjoy it, but that movie was pathetic in comparrison. Even as a movie itself it was just a boring, generic and sterile summer block buster film.

Super8 was another failure. It had this really cool 80's adventure film with some kids kind of like goonies or whatnot but man it turned out to be boring as hell. Lost was interesting for a bit till I realized there was no mystery, it was just a load of nonsense that never had any intention of going anywhere. His writing credits include armageddeon and mission impossible 3 which were some of the worst movies of their time and again just mindless summer blockbusters that bored me to tears.

Im not one to really bash something I havent seen yet (or in this case even official) but I have absolutely no interested in the new star wars movie, the new star trek movie or this stuff. I wish he would hurry up and get this over with and he isnt the golden boy anymore so we can get someone in the hot seat that is maybe talented.

Movie? (1)

goblinspy (2738809) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812903)

Half Life was one of my favourite games that I played but a movie out of it would probably not work.

Why not Uwe Boll? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42812989)

Oh, I forgot. I'm still waiting for the cuts on my wrist to heal after having watched In the Name of the King

Uwe Bol 2.0 (1)

TheSkepticalOptimist (898384) | about a year and a half ago | (#42812997)

period.

Re:Uwe Bol 2.0 (3, Funny)

wonkey_monkey (2592601) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813627)

period.

More of an abortion.

A fine combination! (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42813001)

JJ Abrams can't write plot endings worth a damn, and Valve can't finish Half-Life 2 (at all). :-)

new sidekick: Jar Jar Binks instead of Alyx :) (1)

zugedneb (601299) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813057)

So, when did the first game come? 1998? Is that 15 years ago, or what? Will we see the end of the story in this movie, or will there bee great followers to the first? With Jar Jar Binks instead of Alyx in the later episodes?

There are many really great beginnings, but few great ends... so, some say, really good writers begin with the end... And valve just don't seem like a good writer to me :)

Good (1)

PopeRatzo (965947) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813191)

I'm in favor of this, not because I'd ever spend a dime to see a J. J. Abrams movie, but because it raises the possibility that I'll see a Half-Life 3 game in my lifetime.

Of course, having J. J. Abrams involved in the franchise increases the possibility that Half-Life 3 will suck, but that's a chance I'm willing to take at this point.

trollkorFe (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42813237)

anothe8 cunting [goat.cx]

The next Portal gun... (1)

MetricT (128876) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813251)

...will shoot lens flares instead.

Half Life Movie =/= Gordan Freeman.... (4, Interesting)

LoRdTAW (99712) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813265)

and same goes for a portal movie. And for good reason, the lack of the character talking or making sounds makes the player feel as if they are Chell or Gordon. Games that feature character dialog make you feel more like a puppeteer. A movie cant capture that first person experience so they would have to avoid casting Gordon or Chell. My guess would be that any Valve based movie plot would be set in the HL or Portal universe and tell another heroes story.

A HL movie could be based on the Combine invasion of Earth bridging HL1 to HL2 (though it wouldn't have a happy ending) or telling another story set in another City 17 like Combine ruled dystopian city, maybe in the USA or another location. They can still take full advantage of the HL story, Combine enemy's and aliens while tying it in with events from the game. You will probably hear references to Black Mesa, Gordon Freeman Alyx and Dr Eli Vance, Kleiner etc. Maybe their actions of stirring up trouble in city 17 inspires other rebel groups to do the same in their respective prison cities. Plenty of opportunity.

Portal would be a bit more difficult as the game universe is limited to one lone character trapped in a high tech prison maze ran by a murderous AI. Basically a one-on-one story line. So the story would be a bit more tricky unless the plot is based on the period of time when GLaDOS went rouge and murdered the entire facility staff. Maybe a lone scientist or janitor escapes and they story is based on them. Portal 2 showed the final release of Chell, set far after the events of portal and HL2 so they could make a stereotypical "group of playing kids stumble upon danger" type plot. Maybe chronicle the rat man (I think that's the name), the person who wrote all the "cake is a lie" graffiti. Either way a Portal story would be tough.

Wha? (1)

Taylor123456789 (1354177) | about a year and a half ago | (#42813329)

I thought I read Half Life 3 for a second!

3? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42813577)

DOTA 2, Half life 2, Portal 2, Team Fortress 2...... 3, The one game to rule them all.

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