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Reasons You're Not Getting Interviews; Plus Some Crazy Real Resume Mistakes

Slashdot Staff posted about a year and a half ago | from the don't-sign-your-cover-letter-in-blood dept.

Businesses 246

Yvonne Lee, Community Manager at Dice.com writes, "Not using standard job titles, not tying your work to real business results and not using the right keywords can mean never getting called for an interview, even if you have the right skills to do the job. I once heard advice to use the exact wording found in the ad when placing your keywords. I think you're even more unlikely to get a job if you do some of the things on this list."

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246 comments

LMFTFY (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888525)

Yvonne Lee, Toolbag Mouthpiece at Dice.com writes, "Using a thinly veiled facade to make yourself appear to be a PR authority figure, not tying your true intent to forced Slashdot stories and not letting the site continue on as it was can mean the systematic destruction of the very asset you paid good money for, even if you thought you have the right skills to do the job. I once heard advice to let the editors decide what is newsworthy and what is not. I think you're even more unlikely to get a return on your investment if you do exactly what I'm doing right now."

Re:LMFTFY (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888675)

What she really thinks she's doing [linkedin.com] : "Using job and industry news to increase user stickiness, SEO performance and conversion into jobs database". I wonder how that's working out?

Re:LMFTFY (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888901)

User stickiness? You're still here, ain'tcha?

Re:LMFTFY (5, Insightful)

mindwhip (894744) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889177)

Not for very much longer if this spam continues. I've been reading /. for much longer than my userid would indicate (just never got around to registering) but I'm seriously considering removing it from my home tabs and looking elsewhere for news for nerds that is actually news and stuff that actually matters and not this crap.

Re:LMFTFY (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889279)

You'll continue to open a new tab and type in "slashdot.org" when you're bored, completely out of muscle memory. I swore this site off back when Geeknet was screwing it up and it didn't work; now that Dice is screwing it up and I'm still here, I'm not going to bother with "I'll never come here again if you don't stop being terrible" threats that, realistically, I'm just not going to follow through on.

Re:LMFTFY (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889661)

What else is there to go to? Reddit?

Re:LMFTFY (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888939)

What she really thinks she's doing [linkedin.com] : "Using job and industry news to increase user stickiness, SEO performance and conversion into jobs database". I wonder how that's working out?

Not going to touch "increase user stickiness" with a ten foot pole.

What's depressing is that she's been at this shit for 10 years, and her top accomplishments are things like, "simultaneously managed two magazine sections and a web publication."

The problem with all these stories on how to write your resume is that they're written by people who are fundamentally useless and are stuck writing puff pieces and managing someone's twitter account.

Re:LMFTFY (3, Funny)

Ol Biscuitbarrel (1859702) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889071)

Not going to touch "increase user stickiness" with a ten foot pole.

I see what you did there.

She works for dice but uses LinkedIn? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889113)

Dice should fire her.

Re:LMFTFY (4)

SomePgmr (2021234) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888801)

The best part was the tag, "nodice". I got a laugh out of that... can we make it a recurring thing if we keep getting these?

Re:LMFTFY (4, Interesting)

cod3r_ (2031620) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888819)

what exactly is a community manager?

Re:LMFTFY (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889023)

I hate to piggyback off a first post just to get my post near the top, but is there a way to revert to the old continuous layout (where you just click a button at the bottom for more stories) instead of this paginated layout?

Re:LMFTFY (4, Informative)

richlv (778496) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889109)

wahaha. i only opened this article to comment that it's an annoying amount of non-geek advertisement-like stories from dice - thanks for putting it first in a more humourous way :)

my search for previous adverts revealed lower right corner text "Slashdot is a Dice Holdings, Inc. company"

bad website, bad. sit, no bone for you.

Re:LMFTFY (1)

jythie (914043) | about a year and a half ago | (#42890113)

At this point I am skeptical to take advice from people at Dice. When they start posting actual jobs maybe I will listen... but for the moment I do not think they really have the needs of job hunters in mind.

HWGA (5, Insightful)

drcheap (1897540) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888575)

Yup...here we go again.

F U dice.com, F U.

Re:HWGA (5, Funny)

erikkemperman (252014) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888697)

Seconded.

Still, may as well try to make the best of it. Joey Coumeau wrote some pretty funny job applications:

http://www.asofterworld.com/oqarchive.php [asofterworld.com]

Re:HWGA (1)

blind biker (1066130) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888923)

Still, may as well try to make the best of it. Joey Coumeau wrote some pretty funny job applications:

http://www.asofterworld.com/oqarchive.php [asofterworld.com]

Thanks a lot for that link. It's making my evening.

BTW, I need to insert this string in the thread:
fuck you dice.com
Also:
fuck dice.com

(because F U sometimes just isn't enough).

Re:HWGA (5, Funny)

SomePgmr (2021234) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888701)

Right now there's a slashdot editor yelling across the office, "See? I tried to tell you this was a bad idea."

Re:HWGA (4, Interesting)

_anomaly_ (127254) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888953)

What? Posting a summary on slashdot of a Dice.com fluff piece from June 2011 isn't a good idea?!

Re:HWGA (5, Insightful)

dubbreak (623656) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889223)

That actually made me laugh out loud. The sad thing is that most likely reflects reality.

You have got to be pretty out of touch to think doing that is a good idea. It's not one of those things that "looks good on paper" then takes a nose dive. It was a bad call from the get go.

Of course it could be worse. Every front page story could be a shoddy summary and link to a Dice.com "article". Personally I'm still reeling over the How to use a Linux Virtual Private Server [slashdot.org] "article". What's worse is they moved the "article" from Dice.com to slashdot itself [slashdot.org] to, I dunno, give it more credibility?

"Hey, this old fluff piece we wrote has something about Linux! We should post a story about it!"

"Shoot, they didn't like that it's a Dice.com article"

"I KNOW.. we'll move it to the slashdot domain.. that way it'll be credible!!!"
"Awesome idea!!!"
*back pats all around*

Re:HWGA (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889409)

Years-late articles and paid slashvertizements are a time-honored tradition that dates way back before the Dice acquisition. The only thing that would make this even more "Classic Slashdot" is if they posted a duplicate of this summary in another three hours. Oh, and several obvious typos in the summary that the "editors" didn't catch.

Re:HWGA (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888975)

I'm here for the jokes as much as anything else, so this policy is fine with me. The comments so far are cracking me up. More assbaggery and soon dice douches!

Re:HWGA (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889285)

Yes, but when the people who care about news for nerds and stuff that matters move on to a more interesting news site, all that we'll be left with is 4chan without the pictures.

Yvonne Lee is bad and she should feel bad.

Re:HWGA (1)

thetoadwarrior (1268702) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888709)

You could always offer to pay for the site instead of the advertisements. That and you don't have to click the dice link. I appreciated the forbes link even if it wasn't the best thing I've read today.

Re:HWGA (2)

islisis (589694) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889155)

As a paying member, I can assure you this advertisement is still well and truly in my face.

Re:HWGA (1)

DarwinSurvivor (1752106) | about a year and a half ago | (#42890085)

Funny, the "paying member" icon seems to be missing from your name. Might want to file a bug report. But point taken.

Again? (5, Funny)

olip85 (1770514) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888577)

Another link to dice.com? That must be a great site! No time to comment! I'm heading over there RIGHT NOW!!

Re:Again? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888687)

I know what you're thinking, and they don't sell actual dice.

Re:Again? (3, Funny)

Obfuscant (592200) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888833)

Isn't that the official website of celebrated comedian and all-round nice guy Andrew "Dice" Clay? I mean, they can't have the domain name for a trademarked person and not be the official site, can they?

Someone who is a libertarian ought to complain to the UN/WIPO/ICANN/whatever and try to get it taken away.

Re:Again? (1)

Pieroxy (222434) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888725)

Actually the summary says "I think you're even more unlikely to get a job if you do some of the things on this list." pointing to Forbes, where the list on Forbes is of people that were all hired. Quite the opposite of the summary in fact...

Re:Again? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889441)

Unfortunately, I doubt search engines are capable of picking up on sarcasm, so I'd just like to point out that dice.com is terrible, and Yvonne Lee produces nothing but drivel.

Re:Again? (1)

Beerdood (1451859) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889873)

See this is your problem right here, slashdot users. Instead of just reading the summary/header and commenting - you've decided to first RTFA. Maybe you even clicked on all the links the summary.

If you dumb asses would have read the comments first, you would instantly known it was a fluff piece / disguised advertising. But NOOO, you have to try to be knowledgeable about the subject before deciding you're qualified to comment. Well that'll learn ya for next time - *always* read the comments first!

It All Started Last Year ... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888629)

CEO of Dice: How can we make ourselves appear to be an authority figure on hiring.
Yvonne Lee: Well, really all you need is eyeballs that people will automatically use to read whatever you put in front of them.
CEO of Dice: Yes, but how do we do that?
Yvonne Lee: Um, you could purchase a tech blog site like Slashdot.org.
CEO of Dice: "Slashdot"? Sounds violent ... would that work?
Yvonne Lee: Yes, everything that goes up on there is widely regarded as fact by millions of idiots every day.
CEO of Dice: Very well, one slash dot dot org, please! *holds up $137 in small bills and drops some change on the table*

Dice.com (5, Funny)

Swampash (1131503) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888645)

After study a couple of of the weblog posts on your internet site now, and I genuinely like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site list and will probably be checking back soon. I certainly will be recommend dice.com to all friends and good family.

News for nerds, stuff that matters.

Can someone point me in the right direction? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888655)

I need to know where /. moved to. I didn't realize this url was now the Dice.com blog.

Re:Can someone point me in the right direction? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888761)

Try here [google.com] .

Reasons you're not getting good candidates (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888677)

"I once heard advice to use the exact wording found in the ad when placing your keywords."

Okay, an anecdote "I once heard" posted anonymously on /. is not exactly a scientific survey, but the intent is quite clear: candidates should be carefully tailoring their resumes to HR's total "I don't give a fuck" attitude.

But. If that's how a company is hiring, that company is going to be fucked before too long. If HR doesn't give a fuck and there's not enough leadership from the people who count to get HR to give a fuck, the company is fucked.

And, yeah, if you've been unemployed for a while, at some point a paycheck is a paycheck until you're stable. But you don't want to *start* your job search thinking that way.

Re:Reasons you're not getting good candidates (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888915)

got top 10% viewed profile on linkedin just being honest, once in a while, putting myself a job title of the line
'.Net Fanatic'

Re:Reasons you're not getting good candidates (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889075)

Dude, pretty much everyone I know got one of those top %10 viewed linkedin profile thingies. It doesnt mean dick.

Why the Dice.com hate? (1)

TomR teh Pirate (1554037) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888681)

Not that I'm in the job market or even looking, but it didn't take long to figure out people hate these guys. Just wondering why.

Re:Why the Dice.com hate? (5, Insightful)

CanHasDIY (1672858) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888735)

Not that I'm in the job market or even looking, but it didn't take long to figure out people hate these guys. Just wondering why.

Because we come here to read the news, not to have some parent-company advertisement misrepresented to us as if it were news.

CmdrTaco knew his audience; /.'s new masters at Dice.com don't seem to have figured it out quite yet.

Re:Why the Dice.com hate? (2)

niado (1650369) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888737)

Not that I'm in the job market or even looking, but it didn't take long to figure out people hate these guys. Just wondering why.

In short, Dice is currently the Slashdot corporate overlord. Hatred is obligatory.

Re:Why the Dice.com hate? (4, Insightful)

swanzilla (1458281) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888751)

They bought /. from Geeknet and drivel like this now shows up here.

Re:Why the Dice.com hate? (4, Insightful)

Tarsir (1175373) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889619)

To be fair, drivel like this has been showing up for Slashdot for years. I didn't notice it was a paid piece until I read the comments complaining about it. The problem is two--fold. First is a matter of principal--rather than get their drivel on Slashdot through users submissions, like all the other drivel, they're using their position as parent company to do so.

Second is the very real possibility that paid Dice.com drivel will increase in volume until there is nothing left but Dice.com drivel pieces. Then the few genuinely good stories will be gone.

Re:Why the Dice.com hate? (3, Insightful)

admdrew (782761) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888775)

They (now) own Slashdot, so submissions like these are more ad than substance (see: slashvertisement). This is also a bullshit article, which is kind of indicative of the rest of the stuff coming from dice.com - it's specifically tailored to recruiter-based interviews only, something (in my experience) that are actually very rare. This is essentially SEO for recruiters, and isn't really that constructive.

Re:Why the Dice.com hate? (1)

Jah-Wren Ryel (80510) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889147)

This is essentially SEO for recruiters, and isn't really that constructive.

Makes me wonder if they only bought Slashdot for its pagerank.

Re:Why the Dice.com hate? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888929)

Yeah, to me it's like the ad in the top right corner of the page. So what? They've gotta make money.

People detest change.

Re:Why the Dice.com hate? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889785)

They've gotta make money? So what?

People have no respect for Slashdot users.

Re:Why the Dice.com hate? (1)

FranklinWebber (1307427) | about a year and a half ago | (#42890067)

> it's like the ad in the top right corner of the page

I agree.

> So what? They've gotta make money.

I already paid them money, by subscribing, so that I'm not shown ads.
Now they're showing me an "article" that, as you said, is like an ad.

> People detest change.

I detest not getting what I believe I paid for.

Reasons boil down to (2)

Alopex (1973486) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888691)

HR drones not having the slightest clue

Re:Reasons boil down to (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888791)

We try but tech managers give crap documentation to work from...
Garbage in...

i for one (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888699)

I for one welcome our new dice overlords

To: slashdot-domo (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888711)

unsubscribe dl-slashdot-dice-bullshite /me

Any way to filter out these ads? (4, Insightful)

SlappyMcInty (688145) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888719)

Is there a way to filter out 'stories' based on their tags? I.e. "ad" ?

Sadly Enough (4, Interesting)

Whorhay (1319089) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888721)

From experience I know that one of the largest employers in the USA actually gives you a much better shot at a job if you do include the same key phrases in your resume. The mass crush of resumes that come in for any job opening requires that the HR drones put everything through an automated filter or three. If your resume doesn't pass those filters nothing else matters because no one is going to read it.

Re:Sadly Enough (2)

strength_of_10_men (967050) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888951)

Or, you can be bluntly honest [gawker.com] .

Creativity? (1)

jones_supa (887896) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888749)

The main point of the article seems to be that you should deliver your resume in some fancy shape or form.

No Pink Bunnies?!?! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888753)

No wonder I can't get an interview...

Slashdot is collapsing! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888763)

RUN!

Please just stop. (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888777)

I wish they'd just stick to maintaining the side bar with the job listings. "herp derp shameless plug shameless plug [dice.com] herp derp jobs jobs resume herp derp" isn't really interesting to any of us. If I wanted resume writing tips I'd just do a Google search for it on my own time. Here's hoping there's a way to set filters on the story submissions ... I haven't heard about people doing that since the Jon Katz days...

This is anti-productive. (5, Insightful)

digitalvengeance (722523) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888789)

Prior to the recent rash of Dice.com slashvertisements, I held a very positive opinion of both Dice.com and Slashdot. With each new thinly veiled attempt to drive traffic to Dice, I lose a little bit of respect for each.

If Dice wants to put ads on slashdot, just put ads on slashdot. Stop running fake stories that just diminish a site that has spent a long time earning a loyal following.

Re:This is anti-productive. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889557)

>I held a very positive opinion of ... Slashdot

De gustibus non est disputandum [wikipedia.org]

So, basically... (2)

eksith (2776419) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888793)

Don't be Florida on your resume. Next...

"some of the things on the list" (4, Insightful)

blind biker (1066130) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888795)

This is one of the reason I despise the industry and the lore that surrounds it: the ostensible "professionalism", the bullshitting, the going to the job interview in suit and tie (what the fuck for, nobody knows), the total lack of colour and creativity, the need to use boilerplate and keywords...

And the fact that "some of the things on the list" are considered outlandish and not conducive to getting a job. I found humorous every single item on that list, and would considered the candidate to have an advantage, exactly for having a sense of humor, rather than a disadvantage in getting a job.

In academia, where I work now, things are somewhat similar but not as bad as in the industry, and there's a measure of nuttiness and humor you can get away with.

Re:"some of the things on the list" (1)

Anrego (830717) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888903)

My experience has been that the HR experience of large companies seldom matches the actual working environment. Getting through the bullshit sucks, but once you do you might find a great working atmosphere.

Smaller shops where you get interviewed by the owner are usually (but not always) lighter on the BS. A suit/tie is usually still a good idea though! Its a silly custom but why fight it (unless you are ready to really fight it/make some kind of point).

Re:"some of the things on the list" (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889131)

Wearing a suit and tie to an interview for a tech role is definitely not a good idea (here in silicon valley at least). Maybe for a management role yeah, but otherwise its often taken as an indication that the candidate is inclined towards form over function. Or that they just got out of university and got bad advice as to how to dress to an interview.

Re:"some of the things on the list" (1)

blind biker (1066130) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889823)

A suit/tie is usually still a good idea though! Its a silly custom but why fight it

I just cannot stand bullshit. It's a fortuitous coincidence that I don't have to take that much anymore, now that I'm in academia.

I just cannot fathom going to a job interview in a suit anymore - I couldn't live with me anymore after that. To me it's throwing all my dignity down the wazoo.

Re:"some of the things on the list" (2)

Kittenman (971447) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888955)

This is one of the reason I despise the industry and the lore that surrounds it: the ostensible "professionalism", the bullshitting, the going to the job interview in suit and tie (what the fuck for, nobody knows), the total lack of colour and creativity, the need to use boilerplate and keywords...

And the fact that "some of the things on the list" are considered outlandish and not conducive to getting a job. I found humorous every single item on that list, and would considered the candidate to have an advantage, exactly for having a sense of humor, rather than a disadvantage in getting a job.

In academia, where I work now, things are somewhat similar but not as bad as in the industry, and there's a measure of nuttiness and humor you can get away with.

Of course you realize that you lost some street cred here by going to the link and reading the list?

Re:"some of the things on the list" (4, Insightful)

JaredOfEuropa (526365) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889757)

Sadly I've seen plenty of HR types who look at resumés through that lens. I've done some resumé selecting (and subsequent interviewing) as well; my last employer put great store in letting their consultants rather than HR do the better part of selecting potential hires. What I looked for: creativity (if applicable to the job, which it almost always was), relevant work experience (yes we actually call your references, and bring your diplomas too), outstanding achievements in and outside the job (be prepared to be thoroughly questioned on those), or obvious turn-offs (inappropriate comments, excessive spelling/grammatical errors). What I overlooked: the occasional spelling error, not conforming to the standard typography or format for resumés, not showing up in a suit (though one should look at least somewhat presentable), mentioning odd activities or hobbies. Wearing a suit, communicating in a professional manner, speaking the lingo... those are things we can teach you if you're an otherwise clever, competent and motivated person.

By the way, if I am ever asked to interview someone for an HR position, I'd give them a nice mix of resumes of people I've interviewed before, asking them to make a motivated selection. I seriously doubt miss Lee would pass muster...

"Standard Job Title"? (4, Interesting)

CptNerd (455084) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888821)

What the heck is a "standard job title" anyway? I've worked at 12 different companies in my nearly 30 years in software development, and never have I had the same "job title." I'm pretty sure my current job title is meaningless to anyone else looking to hire me, as would the dozen other job titles I've had be.

Get back to me when the "industry" publishes a list of "standard job titles" and makes every company comply with it.

Re:"Standard Job Title"? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889783)

A 'standard' job title is beneficial for exactly this reason; "my current job title is meaningless to anyone else looking to hire me".

If you are a 'Software Developer' that should be your title. If you are something that isn't comprehensible to anyone outside of your current company, it is USELESS for getting you a job. Even if you're the Senior Software Super-Dooper Management Developer Admin, 'Software Developer' or 'C Programmer' or 'Python Developer' seem like they would be more 'marketable' without being horse shit.

PLEASE (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888825)

Please stop posting this wank.

Thank you.

Article Suggestion (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888845)

Fire Yvonne Lee and then periodically let us know what crazy real resume mistakes she is making and the reasons she is not getting a new job. Ruining Slashdot comes to mind...

To Yvonne Lee from all slashdot readers, (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42888847)

Since you didn't read my post from yesterday, here it is again: Please go fuck yourself. Seriously. Everybody here means it. That's all. Thank you.

Re:To Yvonne Lee from all slashdot readers, (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889067)

Dear Anonymous Coward. Thanks for your comment. I read it and enjoyed it. In fact, I did follow your advice. After work I went home and got out the 15" DilBlastastic and did fuck myself. It was very enjoyable. I will be repeating the experience again this evening. Thanks for the comment and I'm glad you enjoy my work.

Yours,

Yvonne.

Read an interesting tip... (5, Interesting)

Nexzus (673421) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888875)

...on another forum:

Copy and paste the entire job description into a 1 pixel by 1 pixel box on your resume. Invisible to the naked eye, but parsers easily pick it up.

Just make sure to watch the sites that parse and reformat for you (Monster, eg) when uploading.

in summary... (1)

logicassasin (318009) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888885)

Recruiters are too lazy to determine whether a person who's last position as "Enterprise Data Architect" where listed skills are scoping, implementing, and managing DB2, MS SQL, and Oracle instances requested by internal clients has the skills necessary for their company's "Database Administrator" position.

I read this as "Do the work for HR/Recruiters, they're not intelligent enough to do it themselves".

Re:in summary... (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889105)

It's a bit worse than that, really. It's more like:

HR people are not intelligent enough to parse your resume. Try to guess the wrong way they'll use to parse it and modify your resume accordingly.

This effectively selects for candidates who are able to think like an idiot: a critical skill for dealing with customers and management after landing the job!

My resume is my only marketing material (2)

lgordon (103004) | about a year and a half ago | (#42888933)

As a software consultant and occasional contract employee, in all cases, the resume is what gets me hired, and the phone interview is just a safeguard to make sure I'm a real person. Often the interview turns into a technology bull session with the developers making sure that I have the correct industry understanding and not whether I have done the things I stated I could do. I clearly communicated that fact to them already. In my resume.

See ya, Slashdot. (4, Interesting)

1729 (581437) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889005)

We're getting this every day? And Dice is apparently deleting comments [slashdot.org] ? Fuck that. Slashdot is done. Nice work, Dice.

PS: I'm on my way over to delete my Dice profile too, since the company is clearly incompetent and unethical.

Re:See ya, Slashdot. (1)

lesincompetent (2836253) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889479)

I'll say it again here: let's go STREISAND on their asses.

Re:See ya, Slashdot. (1)

stafil (1220982) | about a year and a half ago | (#42890099)

Just playing the Devil's advocate here.

Why is everybody so upset with the Dice stories? Is it that hard to just ignore them the same way we ignore the rest of ads on the internet?

After all it's not like it's difficult to distinguish them..

Just a thought...

Goodbye Dice (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889107)

I have used Dice, both as a candidate and as a manager looking for candidates.

Never again.

Anyone else "trying" to quit? (5, Funny)

ponds (728911) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889123)

Every time I read one of these, it confirms that there's no purpose in Slashdot anymore, but my muscle memory for the last ~12 years or so keeps navigating me to slashdot subconciously. Then when I figure out what I'm doing, I get all sad. Anyone else in this situation? This is not intended to be modded Funny :/

Re:Anyone else "trying" to quit? (1)

TheTerseOne (2447418) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889803)

Yep. I open up my lunch and it just doesn't taste as good without a green and white screen in front of me. I want to quit. I can't. I've got nowhere else to go.....

Re:Anyone else "trying" to quit? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889839)

Yes I do and I don't even bother to sign in anymore hence the AC Post.

Re:Anyone else "trying" to quit? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889907)

100% yes.

I've been a regular reader since late 1998 or so, had 6 digit uid and then just got too busy to post for a few years during a business startup. Forgot my username AND password. Since then, about 2001, I've been a daily reader and post AC under "-s" or "-Si".

I'm saddened a little more each day. Slashdot is a very special place as far as web forums go. I've seen many flamewars and hot gritz comments, but mostly a surprisingly amount of good info or insight on the topics at hand.

I come for the comments. I can get rss feeds of shite stories anywhere,

As the reader base slowly shifts from real uber geek to "emo geek (because it's chic)", it's turning into a plain old shit-hole web forum. So sad.

Fuck you younger generation, only send us your true geeks and nerds.
Fuck you astroturfers
Fuck you slashvertisements
Fuck you Dice holdings. don't taint the special thing that is here.

-S

That article's title (1)

lesincompetent (2836253) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889265)

Sounds very much like "An accidental discovery has exposed a loophole in female psychology!" So fscking fishy...

One piece of valuable advice (1)

rjstanford (69735) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889277)

“Hiring managers have a big pile of résumés to review, and they are always looking for a reason to put you in the ‘no’ pile.”

If you're going through the resume stage, the only goal is to get yourself into the "call" stack rather than the trash pile. When hundreds of resumes come in for a position, its far more important for HR to not let crap through then it is for them to try to find the perfect candidate - the reality is probably that there are several differently (but equally) qualified candidates for the position, and if any one of them is hired then HR and management have done their jobs.

If one of those candidates makes it easy to validate and hire them, and one doesn't, then the first one gets the job.

Ugh. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889353)

I'm done slashdot...it's been great lurking for all these years, but your time has passed.

This "Dice" shit is easy to avoid... (1)

shoes58 (1203522) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889443)

Never open an article submitted by "Slashdot Staff". Problem solved! Now, die in a fire, Dice...

lax hiring standards (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889511)

My issue with finding employment mostly has to do with who I am competing with in my field. Computer science has become a field like doctors and lawyers where people get involved with it for the high salaries. People who are motivated by monetary gain for employment are more willing to make concessions just to have the job that pays $200,000.

In order to get that salary they will embellish their work experience, their skills or whatever it takes to get that position. Once employed, they generally don't mind 'doing it all', resulting in one employee handling the network, databases and systems administration, for one salary. This is appealing to businesses, because it means they have to hire fewer people, but it leads to mediocrity.

The crux of the problem seems to me to be that there are just too many unskilled people applying for skilled work. If 100 skilled employees apply to Google, there are probably 10,000 unskilled idiots sending in resumes, for the same position. The signal to noise ratio for HR and recruiting is ridiculous, and they have to resort to automating the filtering process down to some reasonable level. This means a LOT of good candidates get pushed into the trash. It's similar to the problem of spam; most people get lots of spam, occasionally an email gets mis-identified as spam, and you never see it.

I don't know what it is like in other regions and other fields, but Silicon Valley's hiring practices need a serious overhaul. I've long thought that a 'guild' type system for technical employees would be useful, where there is a clear path from apprentice to master, and people's professional reputations are paid closer attention to. Industry accepted certifications could also help, but that doesn't prevent 'paper tigers.' Having a guild or even an agent, like talent in Hollywood, would help a skilled employee break out from the background noise that all the unskilled idiots are making.

Finding work, networking with people and schmoozing requires social ability, and technical people are often not that social. Having an agent make connections for you, and get you in front of the right people would be incredibly beneficial, and smooth the hiring process for employers and candidates. That only works, however, if the people doing the networking are 'good' and they are representing their clients properly. Recruitment is a booming field full of talentless jerks that are only interested in making their commission and don't seem to care about their reputations.

Sites like LinkedIn are handy for connecting people, but I don't know about everyone else, but none of the recruiters that contact me seem to read ANYTHING in my profile. They just blast out email to whoever has particular keywords in their profile, and hope to hear back from a small percentage of them. Sounds kind of like spam, no? There's no investment from the recruiter and they're more than likely working under quotas, where they need to contact/call at least 20 people a day, or some bullshit like that. The recruiter doesn't care if you get the job, because they'll get someone the job, and make their money, regardless of the candidate's talent.

Job titles are also problematic. People don't understand what 'senior' means, especially in many small/new companies. Someone fresh out of college is NOT a Senior Linux Administrator, regardless of what theory you may know. Even after 5 years of solid work, I would disagree with someone being considered 'senior', but that isn't how job titles work here. There isn't some agreed upon or 'industry standard' for junior, mid-level, senior, etc.

Then you have the creative 'impressive' job titles, like Server Operations Engineer (Linux Admin), Site Reliability Engineer (Linux Admin), etc. I realize there are different skills needed for various areas of a company, and it is tempting to distinguish employees by title, rather than skillset, but that's what departments are for. You have Linux Admins working in the Site Reliability Department, or whatever.

It needs more apprenticeships / tech schools not (1)

Joe_Dragon (2206452) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889985)

It needs more apprenticeships / tech schools not just college.

4 years pure college classroom is way to much for IT and has lot's of skill gaps. I say max 2-3 years classroom and more tech / trades schools with apprenticeships.

College put out paper tigers at a much higher cost then certifications.

Position re-opened for hire! (2)

CaptainNerdCave (982411) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889603)

This is why we keep seeing positions that are re-listed. HR people can't or won't do their jobs, and they get crap. Recruiters do even worse by telling the applicants what to say on resumes and in interviews, and they bring in crap.

And so it has come to this (4, Insightful)

6031769 (829845) | about a year and a half ago | (#42889789)

It's been fun, it really has. Over the years as a lurker, as AC and then eventually as a lowly 6-digiter I have seen tons of insight, reasoned debate and out-and-out flame wars. There's been +5 Funny and -1 Troll and everything in between. And despite all of the bitching, there really was quite a bit of news for nerds and stuff that mattered.

Up until the last couple of months, when it all seems to have gone down the pan at warp factor nine. On this wonderful internet of ours things come and things go. Now is clearly the time for the venerable /. to go and I will help it on its way, albeit with a heavy heart.

So long, slashdot!

Obligatory XKCD (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#42889959)

An applicant created a marketing brochure promoting herself as the best candidate and was hired.

Reminded me of this [xkcd.com] .

University of Nix (4, Funny)

VAXcat (674775) | about a year and a half ago | (#42890069)

This reminds me of an application bought here at MegaBigCompany years back that promised to automatically scan, sort, classify, grade and determine what resumes where good for what job openings. HR was thrilled at the work it would save. We lost a lot of faith in it when we noticed that it reported many of applicants whose resumes it had scanned had gone to the University of Nix....we wondered, did they all go to a strangely named college? Then it occurred to me that the app was parsing UNIX on the resumes of people looking for IT jobs, as the University of Nix....

Yvonnee Lee's resume is awful! (2)

Midnight_Falcon (2432802) | about a year and a half ago | (#42890083)

Check her out on LinkedIn. Her resume is rambling, confused, filled with recommendations from junior-level staff, and uses a lot of buzz words without describing what she actually does. Plus, check out her picture. Who beat her with the ugly stick?
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