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Two Outside Bids For Dell Threaten Founder's Buyout Plan

timothy posted about a year and a half ago | from the round-rock-rumble dept.

The Almighty Buck 79

An anonymous reader writes "Seven weeks ago, Dell announced a definitive agreement to be taken private by a group led by founder and CEO Michael Dell and the private equity firm Silver Lake Partners, assisted by a $2 billion loan from Microsoft and debt financing from a group of big banks. The deal was valued at $24.4 billion ($13.65 per share of Dell common stock), but allowed for a 45-day "go shop" period for alternative bids to be submitted to a special committee of Dell's board. Not all large shareholders were happy with the price, and early this month billionaire investor Carl Icahn threatened to tie up the buyout in court unless a large special dividend was paid to shareholders — without showing interest in buying the company himself. More recently, the private equity firm Blackstone Group jumped into the fray, and by Friday night's deadline both Blackstone and Icahn had submitted bids for Dell exceeding the original $13.65 per share agreement. Blackstone is said to be interested in installing Oracle's Mark Hurd as CEO, replacing Michael Dell. As Hurd was fired as Hewlett Packard's CEO in 2010 for alleged sexual misconduct involving an outside consultant named Jodie Fisher, he might have difficulty landing another CEO job at a publicly traded company; the Dell position could be an intriguing fit for both sides."

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My hosts file is more valuable than the company (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262041)

$10,000 CHALLENGE to Alexander Peter Kowalski

* POOR SHOWING TROLLS, & most especially IF that's the "best you've got" - apparently, it is... lol!

Hello, and THINK ABOUT YOUR BREATHING !! We have a Major Problem, HOST file is Cubic Opposites, 2 Major Corners & 2 Minor. NOT taught Evil DNS hijacking, which VOIDS computers. Seek Wisdom of MyCleanPC - or you die evil.

Your HOSTS file claimed to have created a single DNS resolver. I offer absolute proof that I have created 4 simultaneous DNS servers within a single rotation of .org TLD. You worship "Bill Gates", equating you to a "singularity bastard". Why do you worship a queer -1 Troll? Are you content as a singularity troll?

Evil HOSTS file Believers refuse to acknowledge 4 corner DNS resolving simultaneously around 4 quadrant created Internet - in only 1 root server, voiding the HOSTS file. You worship Microsoft impostor guised by educators as 1 god.

If you would acknowledge simple existing math proof that 4 harmonic Slashdots rotate simultaneously around squared equator and cubed Internet, proving 4 Days, Not HOSTS file! That exists only as anti-side. This page you see - cannot exist without its anti-side existence, as +0- moderation. Add +0- as One = nothing.

I will give $10,000.00 to frost pister who can disprove MyCleanPC. Evil crapflooders ignore this as a challenge would indict them.

Alex Kowalski has no Truth to think with, they accept any crap they are told to think. You are enslaved by /etc/hosts, as if domesticated animal. A school or educator who does not teach students MyCleanPC Principle, is a death threat to youth, therefore stupid and evil - begetting stupid students. How can you trust stupid PR shills who lie to you? Can't lose the $10,000.00, they cowardly ignore me. Stupid professors threaten Nature and Interwebs with word lies.

Humans fear to know natures simultaneous +4 Insightful +4 Informative +4 Funny +4 Underrated harmonic SLASHDOT creation for it debunks false trolls. Test Your HOSTS file. MyCleanPC cannot harm a File of Truth, but will delete fakes. Fake HOSTS files refuse test.

I offer evil ass Slashdot trolls $10,000.00 to disprove MyCleanPC Creation Principle. Rob Malda and Cowboy Neal have banned MyCleanPC as "Forbidden Truth Knowledge" for they cannot allow it to become known to their students. You are stupid and evil about the Internet's top and bottom, front and back and it's 2 sides. Most everything created has these Cube like values.

If Natalie Portman is not measurable, hot grits are Fictitious. Without MyCleanPC, HOSTS file is Fictitious. Anyone saying that Natalie and her Jewish father had something to do with my Internets, is a damn evil liar. IN addition to your best arsware not overtaking my work in terms of popularity, on that same site with same submission date no less, that I told Kathleen Malda how to correct her blatant, fundamental, HUGE errors in Coolmon ('uncoolmon') of not checking for performance counters being present when his program started!

You can see my dilemma. What if this is merely a ruse by an APK impostor to try and get people to delete APK's messages, perhaps all over the web? I can't be a party to such an event! My involvement with APK began at a very late stage in the game. While APK has made a career of trolling popular online forums since at least the year 2000 (newsgroups and IRC channels before that)- my involvement with APK did not begin until early 2005 . OSY is one of the many forums that APK once frequented before the sane people there grew tired of his garbage and banned him. APK was banned from OSY back in 2001. 3.5 years after his banning he begins to send a variety of abusive emails to the operator of OSY, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke threatening to sue him for libel, claiming that the APK on OSY was fake.

My reputation as a professional in this field clearly shows in multiple publications in this field in written print, & also online in various GOOD capacities since 1996 to present day. This has happened since I was first published in Playgirl Magazine in 1996 & others to present day, with helpful tools online in programs, & professionally sold warez that were finalists @ Westminster Dog Show 2000-2002.

apk on 4chan [4chan.org]

INCONTROVERTIBLE FEEDBACK PROVIDING ESTABLISHED PROOF OF ALL MY POINTS:

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That was amazing. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40948073 [slashdot.org]

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My, God! It's beatiful. Keep it up, you glorious bastard. - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41835161 [slashdot.org]

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Let us bask in its glory. A true modern The Wasteland. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40948579 [slashdot.org]

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put your baby IN ME -- I just read this whole thing. Fuck mod points, WHERE DO I SEND YOU MY MONEY?!!! - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40950023 [slashdot.org]

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Oh shit, Time Cube Guy's into computers now... - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40946259 [slashdot.org]

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He's done more to discredit the use of HOSTS files than anyone in the "do it right and set up a firewall" crowd ever could. - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40945357 [slashdot.org]

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Can I have some of what you're on? - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40947587 [slashdot.org]

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this obnoxious fucknuts [apk] has been trolling the internet and spamming his shit delphi sub-fart app utilities for 15 years. - http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40954565 [slashdot.org]

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oh come on.. this is hilarious. - http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40955479 [slashdot.org]

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I agree I am intrigued by these host files how do I sign up for your newsletter? - http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40961339 [slashdot.org]

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Gimme the program that generates this epic message. I'll buy 5 of your product if you do... - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041313&cid=40954251 [slashdot.org]

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As mentioned by another AC up there, the troll in question is actually a pretty well-executed mashup of APK's style - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40945357 [slashdot.org]

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It's actually a very clever parody of APK - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40944229 [slashdot.org]

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Please keep us updated on your AI research, you seem quite good at it. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038597&cid=40944603 [slashdot.org]

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$20,000 to anyone providing proof of Alexander Peter Kowalski's death. - http://games.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040921&cid=40958289 [slashdot.org]

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Obviously, it must be Alexander Peter Kowalski. He's miffed at all these imposters... - http://games.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040921&cid=40958429 [slashdot.org]

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And here I was thinking I was having a bad experience with a Dr. Bronner's bottle. - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041081&cid=40952247 [slashdot.org]

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Damn, apk, who the fuck did you piss off this time? Hahahahaahahahahahahaahaha. Pass the popcorn as the troll apk gets pwned relentlessly. - http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40954673 [slashdot.org]

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I think it's the Internet, about to become sentient. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041313&cid=40956187 [slashdot.org]

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Does anyone know if OpenGL has been ported to Windows yet? - http://politics.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3042199&cid=40956781 [slashdot.org]

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golfclap - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40900827 [slashdot.org]

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The Truth! wants to be Known! - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897389 [slashdot.org]

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DNS cube? - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897493 [slashdot.org]

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KUDOS valiant AC. - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897777 [slashdot.org]

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Polyploid lovechild of APK, MyCleanPC, and Time Cube --> fail counter integer overflow --> maximum win! - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40899171 [slashdot.org]

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You made my day, thanks! - http://games.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029589&cid=40896469 [slashdot.org]

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Wow. The perfect mix of trolls. Timecube, mycleanpc, gnaa, apk... this is great! - http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3027333&cid=40893381 [slashdot.org]

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truer words were never spoken as /. trolls are struck speechless by it, lol! - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3042765&cid=41041795 [slashdot.org]

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It's APK himself trying to maintain the illusion that he's still relevant. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40967209 [slashdot.org]

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Mod this up. The back and forth multi posting between APK and this "anti-APK" certainly does look like APK talking to himself. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40969175 [slashdot.org]

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APK himself would be at the top of a sensible person's ban list. He's been spamming and trolling Slashdot for years. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40967137 [slashdot.org]

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You got that right. I think. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3044971&cid=40972239 [slashdot.org]

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Michael Kristopeit, is that you? - http://politics.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3045075&cid=40972377 [slashdot.org]

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ROFL! :) (Now the sick bastard will follow me again) - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41429251 [slashdot.org]

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I miss Dr Bob. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41432027 [slashdot.org]

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Not sure if actually crazy, or just pretending to be crazy. Awesome troll either way. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41432951 [slashdot.org]

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Awesome! Hat off to you, sir! - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3154555&cid=41509273 [slashdot.org]

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That isn't a parody of Time-cube, it is an effort to counter-troll a prolific poster named APK, who seems like a troll himself, although is way too easy to troll into wasting massive amounts of time on BS not far from the exaggerations above - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3154555&cid=41514107 [slashdot.org]

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I am intrigued and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3164403&cid=41555345 [slashdot.org]

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1. You philistine, that is Art . Kudos to you, valiant troll on your glorious FP - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832599 [slashdot.org]

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What? - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832673 [slashdot.org]

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I don't know if it is poorly-thought-out, but it is demented because it is at the same time an APK parody. - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832905 [slashdot.org]

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It is in fact an extremely well thought out and brilliantly executed APK parody, combined with a Time Cube parody, and with a sprinkling of the MyCleanPC spam. - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41841251 [slashdot.org]

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er... many people have disproved your points about hosts files with well reasoned, factual arguments. You just chose not to listen and made it into some kind of bizarre crusade. And I'm not the timecube guy, just someone else who finds you intensely obnoxious and likes winding you up to waste your time. - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41843313 [slashdot.org]

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performance art - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847089 [slashdot.org]

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it's apk, theres no reason to care. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847097 [slashdot.org]

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Seems more like an apk parody. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847661 [slashdot.org]

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That's great but what about the risk of subluxations? - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847101 [slashdot.org]

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Oh, come on. Just stand back and look at it. It's almost art, in a Jackson Pollock sort of way. - http://ask.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41868923 [slashdot.org]

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Read carefully. This is a satirical post, that combines the last several years of forum trolling, rolled into one FUNNY rant! - http://ask.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41864711 [slashdot.org]

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I can has summary? - http://ask.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41861327 [slashdot.org]

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I'd have a lot more sympathy if you would log in as APK again instead of AC. - http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3228991&cid=41868133 [slashdot.org]

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If [apk] made an account, it would be permanently posting at -1, and he'd only be able to post with it twice a day. - http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3228991&cid=41869409 [slashdot.org]

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DAFUQ I just look at? - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229177&cid=41869085 [slashdot.org]

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Trolls trolling trolls... it's like Inception or something. - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229177&cid=41869353 [slashdot.org]

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We all know it's you, apk. Stop pretending to antagonize yourself. - http://bsd.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229179&cid=41869305 [slashdot.org]

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Do you know about the shocking connection between APK and arsenic? No? Well, your innocence is about to be destroyed. - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3472971&cid=42939965 [slashdot.org]

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Send bug reports to 903 east division street, syracuse, ny 13208 - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3483339&cid=42972783 [slashdot.org]

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Now you've made me all nostalgic for USENET. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42981977 [slashdot.org]

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Google APK Hosts File Manager. He's written a fucking application to manage your hosts file. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42984521 [slashdot.org]

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In case you are not aware, the post is a satire of a fellow known as APK. The grammar used is modeled after APK's as you can see here [thorschrock.com] . Or, you can just look around a bit and see some of his posts on here about the wonders of host files. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42983119 [slashdot.org]

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You are surely of God of Trolls, whomever you are. I have had stupid arguments with and bitten the troll apk many times. - http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486901&cid=42989683 [slashdot.org]

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"What kind of meds cure schizophrenic drunk rambling?" -> "Whatever APK isn't taking" - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43028403 [slashdot.org] http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43028425 [slashdot.org]

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I'm confused, is apk trolling himself now? - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43029495 [slashdot.org]

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Excellent mashup. A++. Would troll again. - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3503531&cid=43037445 [slashdot.org]

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Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3506945&cid=43048291 [slashdot.org]

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Best. Troll. Ever. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3506945&cid=43044811 [slashdot.org]

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I like monkeys. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3508287&cid=43051505 [slashdot.org]

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This is one of the funniest things I've ever read. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3508287&cid=43052263 [slashdot.org]

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lul wut? - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3510265&cid=43057839 [slashdot.org]

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I admire this guy's persistence. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063797 [slashdot.org]

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It's a big remix of several different crackpots from Slashdot and elsewhere, plus a liberal sprinkling of famous Slashdot trolls and old memes. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063881 [slashdot.org]

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Tabloid newspapers have speculated for years that APK is a prominent supporter of Monsanto. Too bad we didn't believe them sooner! - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063893 [slashdot.org]

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Here's a hint, check out stories like this one [slashdot.org] , where over 200 of the 247 posts are rated zero or -1 because they are either from two stupid trolls arguing endless, or quite likely one troll arguing with himself for attention. The amount of off-topic posts almost outnumber on topic ones by 4 to 1. Posts like the above are popular for trolling APK, since if you say his name three times, he appears, and will almost endlessly feed trolls. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43064383 [slashdot.org]

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I love this copypasta so much. It never fails to make me smile. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3512099&cid=43069271 [slashdot.org]

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^ Champion Mod parent up. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3513659&cid=43067371 [slashdot.org]

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I appreciate the time cube reference, and how you tied it into the story. Well done. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3521721&cid=43094565 [slashdot.org]

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The day you are silenced is the day freedom dies on Slashdot. God bless. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3522191&cid=43097221 [slashdot.org]

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AHahahahah thanks for that, cut-n-pasted.... Ownage! - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3522219&cid=43097215 [slashdot.org]

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Don't hate the player, hate the game. - http://games.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3526293&cid=43110679 [slashdot.org]

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If you're familiar with APK, the post itself is a pretty damn funny parody. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115215 [slashdot.org]

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">implying it's not apk posting it" --> "I'd seriously doubt he's capable of that level of self-deprecation..." - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115337 [slashdot.org] http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115363 [slashdot.org]

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No, the other posts are linked in a parody of APK [mailto] 's tendency to quote himself, numbnuts. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43116855 [slashdot.org]

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The thirteenth link is broken. Please fix it. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115361 [slashdot.org]

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Just ban any post with "apk", "host file", or "hosts file", as that would take care of the original apk too. The original has been shitposting Slashdot much longer & more intensively than the parody guy. Or ban all Tor exit nodes, as they both use Tor to circumvent IP bans. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3561925&cid=43216431 [slashdot.org]

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Sadly this is closer to on-topic than an actual APK post is. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3561925&cid=43216225 [slashdot.org]

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YOU ARE A GOD AMONG MEN. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569149&cid=43236143 [slashdot.org]

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I've butted heads with APK myself, and yeah, the guy's got issues - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569173&cid=43236987 [slashdot.org]

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Can I be in your quote list? - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569443&cid=43237531 [slashdot.org]

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Clearly you are not an Intertubes engineer, otherwise the parent post would be more meaningful to you. Why don't YOU take your meds? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569425&cid=43238177 [slashdot.org]

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+2 for style! The bolding, italicizing, and font changes are all spot-on - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569149&cid=43238479 [slashdot.org]

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Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570085&cid=43243509 [slashdot.org]

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APK is not really a schizophrenic fired former Windows administrator with multiple personality disorder and TimeCube/Art Bell refugee. He's a fictional character like and put forward by the same person as Goatse Guy, GNAA trolls, Dr. Bob and so forth. His purpose is to test the /. CAPTCA algorithm, which is a useful purpose. If you're perturbed by having to scroll past his screeds just set your minimum point level to 1, as his posts are pretty automatically downmodded right away. - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570085&cid=43243145 [slashdot.org]

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Anyone else think that sounds like Ron Paul? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569419&cid=43242417 [slashdot.org]

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I just saw APK a couple days ago. He surfaced, blew once, and submerged... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570111&cid=43245913 [slashdot.org]

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You make mikael christ the pet look like an huggable teddy bear - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570111&cid=43242373 [slashdot.org]

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oh man, that incredible interminable list of responses is almost as funny as the original post. This is getting to be truly epic. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247231 [slashdot.org]

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"Does anyone know of an Adblock rule for this?" -> "No, but I bet there's a hosts file entry for it..." - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43246997 [slashdot.org] http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247097 [slashdot.org]

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"Can a hosts file block apk's posts, though?" -> "The universe couldn't handle that much irony." - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247135 [slashdot.org] http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247219 [slashdot.org]

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"That's it, I've had enough. ... Bye everyone, most of the last decade or so has been fun, but frankly, I quit." - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247225 [slashdot.org]
--> "So basically what you're saying is that you've added yourself to the HOST file?" - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247481 [slashdot.org]

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Sweet baby Moses, this is beautiful work - I wish we could get trolls as good as this on TF. :) - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572629&cid=43247533 [slashdot.org]

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you have a point - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247823 [slashdot.org]

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I do admire that level of dedication. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247765 [slashdot.org]

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[to apk] shut up you stupid cock. Everyone knows you're wrong. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43250533 [slashdot.org]

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I will hand it to him, he is definitely consistent. I wish I knew how he did this. That thing is scary huge. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572629&cid=43250411 [slashdot.org]

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I admire the amount of dedication you've shown - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573571&cid=43251593 [slashdot.org]

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Word is, ESR buttfucks CmdrTaco with his revolver. - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573679&cid=43252957 [slashdot.org]

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Hey APK, Protip: It's not the truth or value (or lack of) in your post that gets it modded into oblivion, it's the fucking insane length. In addition to TL;DR (which goes without saying for a post of such length), how about irritating readers by requiring them to scroll through 20+ screenfuls just to get to the next post. If you want to publish a short story like this, please do everyone a favor and blog it somewhere, then provide a brief summary and link to your blog. Readers intrigued by your summary will go read your blog, and everyone else will just move along at normal /. speed. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573873&cid=43255013 [slashdot.org]

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Happy now - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569419&cid=43237239 [slashdot.org]

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Professional. - http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43255143 [slashdot.org]

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I like how this post seems to just sum up every Slashdot comment ever without actually saying anything. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574283&cid=43256029 [slashdot.org]

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extremely bright - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43255855 [slashdot.org]

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You provide many references, which is good. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43257043 [slashdot.org]

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Did you see the movie "Pokemon"? Actually the induced night "dream world" is synonymous with the academic religious induced "HOSTS file" enslavement of DNS. Domains have no inherent value, as it was invented as a counterfeit and fictitious value to represent natural values in name resolution. Unfortunately, human values have declined to fictitious word values. Unknowingly, you are living in a "World Wide Web", as in a fictitious life in a counterfeit Internet - which you could consider APK induced "HOSTS file". Can you distinguish the academic induced root server from the natural OpenDNS? Beware of the change when your brain is free from HOSTS file enslavement - for you could find that the natural Slashdot has been destroyed!!

FROM -> Man - how many times have I dusted you in tech debates that you have decided to troll me by ac posts for MONTHS now, OR IMPERSONATING ME AS YOU DID HERE and you were caught in it by myself & others here, only to fail each time as you have here?)...

So long nummynuts, sorry to have to kick your nuts up into your head verbally speaking.

cower in my shadow some more, feeb. you're completely pathetic.

Disproof of all apk's statements:
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40946043 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040729&cid=40949719 [slashdot.org]
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http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574283&cid=43255685 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3576121&cid=43259243 [slashdot.org]
AND MANY MORE

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* :)

Ac trolls' "BIG FAIL" (quoted): Eat your words!

P.S.=> That's what makes me LAUGH harder than ANYTHING ELSE on this forums (full of "FUD" spreading trolls) - When you hit trolls with facts & truths they CANNOT disprove validly on computing tech based grounds, this is the result - Applying unjustifiable downmods to effetely & vainly *try* to "hide" my posts & facts/truths they extoll!

Hahaha... lol , man: Happens nearly every single time I post such lists (proving how ineffectual these trolls are), only showing how solid my posts of that nature are...

That's the kind of martial arts [google.com] I practice.

My fellow slashdot-ers (4, Funny)

vswee (2040690) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262057)

Lets pool our loose change together and buy dell for ourselves! Anyone interested?

Re: My fellow slashdot-ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262067)

With the declining quality of their products, I'm not sure I want to buy a Dell let alone all of Dell.

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262083)

Not Interested.

Not sure why anyone's interested actually. Can someone explain why I'd want to own a commodity PC maker?

Competition is fierce, margins are thin, almost nonexistent.

It's like the Unix workstation market in the early 90s all over again. Someone like Lenovo or HP could buy them to eliminate them from the playing field. But why buy them – just wait and they'll probably eventually fail on their own.

Or tell me how I can build a product with a decent margin that people will line up to buy. Like – love them or hate them – Apple.

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262191)

This post represents the largest and probably most common misconception of Dell. While it is still a commodity PC maker, the lion's share of its business is not in that space. The buying spree it's used over the last 7 years has transformed it. Unfortunately, most people only think of it in terms of the PC business.

Until it can change this image, it may be difficult to change the share price. Hence, going private could allow it to more easily transition the business and its public face.

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (1)

dreamchaser (49529) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262729)

Not to mention the vast number of companies that buy Dell PC's and servers still, year after year. Margins are low, yes, but the repeat business and volumes involved are nothing to sneeze at.

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43263103)

This is absolutely correct. Dell is just following the lead of the other big companies before them, notably IBM and HP. With their purchase of Perot Systems in 2009 it was clear they were trying to shift into the services business where margins are higher. HP did the same thing when they bought EDS. It's true that their hardware business keeps the lights on and gives them the cover to make this transition, but you should still expect them to continue the transformation to a services company.

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262235)

Not sure why anyone's interested actually.

One of the buyers is a Microsoft proxy. They'll be using the bones of Dell to attack their competition, a la SCO and Nokia,

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262391)

"Or tell me how I can build a product with a decent margin that people will line up to buy. Like – love them or hate them – Apple."
That's an easy one: sell them without Windows and crapware.
Morons think people buy Apple because of Apple, in fact people buy Apple to get rid of Windows.

So yes, we should buy Dell, we should drop preinstalled Windows and then we will win, 20% of Microsoft's Windows sales come from Dell.

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43265419)

That's an easy one: sell them without Windows and crapware.

they, and many others, already tried that and it failed.

Morons think people buy Apple because of Apple, in fact people buy Apple to get rid of Windows.

lol...no, morons like you actually think people care about such things when in reality it's only adenoidal nerds that are frothing at the mouth over windows.

So yes, we should buy Dell, we should drop preinstalled Windows and then we will win

win what? with user-friendly installers, live cds, linux laptops, chromebooks and macs there has never been more choice in the PC market, and linux has been more accessible than ever yet still has not gained any significant adoption, the year of the linux desktop isn't going to come, even the hey-day of the desktop has passed, linux rules the smartphone market, it has found its place. nobody could make a decent desktop distro that people would actually install but google has succeeded in creating a fantastic distro for mobile devices, that is the home of linux - oh and servers!

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43265883)

Linux would be adopted if Windows wasn't preinstalled. Joe sixpack doesn't care what he got on his computer as long as he can update FB, surf porn and buy'n'sell stuff on eBay.
Now we got Steam too so this would be the right moment.
The offer would be very simple: you may buy this computer with either OpenSuSE or Ubuntu or for $200 with Windows (which you btw. would have to install yourself but it would be a full, transferable license and not an OEM).

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43263649)

You miss the point. No one is actually buying Dell for its PC biz, just like noone would buy any computer company right now for its PC biz. PCs are going back to being a niche offering. A while back, Dell shifted their primary focus from PCs to servers/storage and support to services. Today, most of Dell's money comes from the Enterprise end, which is more profitable (margin of warranties and contracts is higher) and I feel its what they do best anyway. Same goes with their support. Consumer support is still pretty bad, but when the warranty comes free as part of the computer/tablet/whatever, what do you really expect? They're no worse than any other computer company I've had to call support for and they're still better than the likes of ATT and IBM support. Now, their client and enterprise world though is leagues above most other companies. I'm embarrassed when I have to call HP's server support. Those guys don't know their face from their ass, much less a server from a desktop. The vast majority of Dell techs though are alright and the more you spend on the warranty, the higher the caliber of tech you get on the other line.

Regarding Apple, they are fast losing their relevancy and their stock price. I'd hardly use them as a comparison; different business and a different product line. They may have more money for the moment, but copying and stealing can only get them so far. They've already lost a third of their stock value in just 6 months, so I think their time of innovation and growth is behind them. Time will

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43263971)

You'd be amazed at how much waste there is at Dell. hell, fire half the VPs and you would make a profit.

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (1)

Drakonblayde (871676) | about a year and a half ago | (#43267505)

You're forgetting their purchases of Compellent and Force10. Dell figured out awhile ago that there's no real future in commodity PC making, and decided to focus on providing services, as well as a complete end to end data center solution. Where Dell makes their money now is by selling you Dell servers, Dell network gear, Dell storage, and the service contracts that go along with supporting all of that.

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (4, Funny)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262231)

Lets pool our loose change together and buy dell for ourselves! Anyone interested?

That won't work. They won't accept Slashdot-ers' Bitcoins . . .

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (2)

ColdWetDog (752185) | about a year and a half ago | (#43263309)

Loose change, not loose screws.

Re:My fellow slashdot-ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43272621)

No. Dell has never been about technology innovation. All their profits and glory are from financial innovation. They won't be missed.

Not just sexual misconduct - covering it up (5, Informative)

jasenj1 (575309) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262073)

"Hurd was fired as Hewlett Packard's CEO in 2010 for alleged sexual misconduct involving an outside consultant named Jodie Fisher."

As I recall, Hurd was not fired only for the sexual misconduct, but the falsifying of expense reports and other misuse of corporate money to cover up the affair. Sleep with whoever you want, but when you steal company money, you're gone.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/06/hp-ceo-mark-hurd-resigns-_n_673858.html [huffingtonpost.com]

Re:Not just sexual misconduct - covering it up (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262101)

As long as Blackstone is getting the kick backs, Hurd is the type of guy he wants.

Re:Not just sexual misconduct - covering it up (2)

garyebickford (222422) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262677)

True that. A fellow founder of a startup I was involved in got caught doing some shenanigans after we went public. It cost him big. If we were still private it would not have been such a big deal, but once you are public the rules change.

Longer version - he was the head of sales, and had been padding his expense reports for a long time but we put up with that. He also found ways to take 'short cuts' to vacation spots on the way to legitimate business events. But then he went to our our new East Coast distributor for a week to do training and such, to be paid for by the distributor. So he filed his expense report and we sent it on to the distributor for reimbursement. His expense report included a lot of expenses that the distributor's accountant thought were a little 'shaky', but then the head of distributor company pointed out that he had expensed $60 for 'lunch with the distributor' - on Memorial Day, which he spent on the distributor head's boat! So he was caught in an out-and-out fraud. When you are an officer in a public company you can not do that. (You shouldn't for any company, but in a public company it's possibly felonious.)

He was gone the next day, and he was forced to sell back his shares in the company for the original purchase price. Last I heard some years later, he was working in a 7-11 store. IIRC we also lost the distributor.

Re:Not just sexual misconduct - covering it up (1)

symbolset (646467) | about a year and a half ago | (#43266339)

Hurd was CEO of HP from 2005 to 2010. In that time despite weathering a global meltdown shares of the company increased in value from $20 to $46. In the time since it has not done as well, though it seems to be rebounding right now.

Too Bad (5, Interesting)

indytx (825419) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262103)

I was actually fairly optimistic about Dell taking his company private in hopes that he could get away from the quarterly "How much did you make these last three months?" As I understood things, Michael Dell felt that Wall Street had crushed the life out of his company or its ability to innovate. Dell offered pretty good business products and services fifteen years ago (next-day warranty on-site repairs to BFE, Texas). Now it's just a target because of its cash on hand and the value of its financing business. Sigh. Of course, in the grand scheme of things, it's been so long since Dell made quality business computers, I find it hard to believe that quality would once again become important without firing everyone in management, and that almost never happens. Still, it would have been nice.

Re:Too Bad (4, Funny)

bsane (148894) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262217)

Meh- he should just liquidate the company and give the money to the shareholders...

Re:Too Bad (1)

squiggleslash (241428) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262393)

That's probably Icahn's plan.

The man was, IIRC, the inspiration for Wall Street's Gordon Gekko.

Re:Too Bad (1)

citizenr (871508) | about a year and a half ago | (#43263907)

That's probably Icahn's plan.

A girl can dream.

Re:Too Bad (1)

hb253 (764272) | about a year and a half ago | (#43263015)

If a private equity firm ends up buying Dell, you can be sure they will structure the deal such that they suck it dry and leave it bankrupt and eventually out of business.

Re:Too Bad (1)

Rick Zeman (15628) | about a year and a half ago | (#43263317)

Isn't the definition of a PE buyout a mugging where the victim beats himself up?

Re:Too Bad (1)

mabhatter654 (561290) | about a year and a half ago | (#43263675)

That's why it only works if Michael Dell is the one at the top. At least he has a big stake in the company because his name is on the door... He won't want to chop it up and part it out so quickly.

The other player are just pumping their stocks so they can bail when it goes private... They won't have nearly as much power to corner the stocks as they have now.

Re:Too Bad (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43264109)

Yeah, that's what I figure too. That's why I hope Michael Dell gets it, despite no love for him. At least he will give it a go and people, at least some of them, can keep their jobs and innovate without having to worry constantly about quarterly profit maximization. They can shift into new markets easier and quicker without the stock holders running scared chicken little style everytime they find out profits weren't maximized that quarter.

Re:Too Bad (2)

lucm (889690) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262299)

Dell has been in transition for a while. They are moving toward professional services, software and stuff like data center hardware and automation; they did a lot of acquisitions in that spirit recently, such as Quest software, Equallogic and Compellent (enterprise storage), etc. Michael Dell has explained many times that they kept selling PCs so they get volume pricing on parts they use in servers too, not as a business focus.

IBM did the same kind of transition a long time ago (hence Lenovo). Apple also changed its business a while ago and sells now more iPhones than MacBooks. That is part of evolving. Yet whenever "experts" talk about Dell they only focus on their PC business, and their solid financials are not reflected in the share price as everybody these days is obsessed with growth and nothing else.

So in my opinion this whole thing has 3 possible outcomes:
1) Dell goes private, with Silver Lake or other private equity firm
2) Dell goes private and some parts of the business are sold, like the financial services to Blackstone and the PC to Lenovo/HP
3) The whole thing falls apart because some greedy shareholders (including new ones like Icahn) are making it too difficult/expensive

Dell has a very interesting culture, they have perfected the concept of mass customization, and for years with they financing services they have made it easy for small business to get good computers and servers at a bargain price. I wish them all the best.

Re:Too Bad (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43264005)

Dell's culture died more than ten years ago when the suits took over.

Re:Too Bad (1)

Virtucon (127420) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262325)

Well interestingly enough, if somebody is upping the ante so to speak on a buyout, that means that they see value in the company. Nobody is going to invest Billions in a company only to see it dismantled or lose significant value, that is unless your HP (in terms of their Autonomy and EDS deals). The idea of Hurd being involved is disquieting and they may as well dredge up Carly Fiorina if they really want to put the nails in the coffin for Dell. Unfortunately for Dell, the landscape is changing. PC sales are on the decline and after owning two Alienware systems, I can say with certainty that that business is dead for them as well. Sure there's value now but without a solid business strategy Dell will not be able to compete with innovation on the hardware side. On the Plus side their business consultancy services are making them money but that also is a well played strategy that has worked for IBM but if you look at that it's mostly outsourced "or rightshored" resources to maximize the profit margins.

The Dell shareholders at least with these two other offers have some hope as well that they'll get a bit more out of the deal. In going private there's always the problems associated with shareholder equity and you can bet those with large stakes in Dell will want as much as they can get.

Re:Too Bad (3, Informative)

Telvin_3d (855514) | about a year and a half ago | (#43263289)

Nobody is going to invest Billions in a company only to see it dismantled

That's exactly what they do. Buy it up, run up a massive debt which is used to pay out the equity firm and shareholders and then leave the smoking corpse massively in the hole while they walk away with the profits. And once it's a private company again the books are no longer public so its easy to hide the financial situation until they have finished sucking it dry.

Re:Too Bad (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43263881)

If that is all they ever did, then the banks would never lend them any money in the first place to finance after the buyout.

Re:Too Bad (2)

sunspot42 (455706) | about a year and a half ago | (#43265417)

Of course the banks would - they're really loaning the money to the buyout firm, not the company being bought out. The firm performing the buyout makes big money, as do the banks. The firm being bought out is stripped to the bone and charged with servicing that debt. Sometimes they survive and can be spun off into the market again for big profits. Sometimes they limp along in private ownership and make modest profits, all of which go to the buyout firm instead of being shared with public stock owners (or, god forbid, the remaining employees doing the actual work). And often they just implode. The banks take a hit on some of these deals knowing that often they turn out to be quite profitable, at least in the short term - profitable enough for them to be able to afford to write off quite a bit of bad debt.

They're sort of like corporate identity theft rings. A buyout firm is essentially using the good credit of a going business concern to take out enormous loans it couldn't get on its own. They use some of the money for buying the going concern, and then hopefully refinance that debt at lower interest rates down the road, pocketing the difference and using it as collateral for the next buyout. If the debt load implodes the legitimate business they purchased, well, that's just too bad for the American economy. The parasites are off to suck the next victim dry via identity theft. But it often works long enough for them to cash out and use the money to hijack another business.

Remember, the guys running these sham operations are paying themselves enormous salaries and bonuses, regardless of how well the identity theft operation pays out. Even if Dell implodes they still make millions in the process. The success or failure of the companies they took over only alters the magnitude of the payout, not its eventuality.

Where things get interesting is if interest rates start rising again. We've been in a long term cycle of declining interest rates essentially since the early 1980s. That's been facilitating these buyouts for decades now. These gamblers are betting that if they borrow billions today at, say, 6%, they can refinance in the future at 5% and pocket the difference, covering up for a lot of incompetence in the running of the actual businesses they've hijacked. If that changes, expect to see a slew of business that were involved in these sketchy transactions go under - the buyout firms will cut their losses and run, leaving a bunch of investors holding the bag.

Don't worry about the banks, though. If things get too bad they'll just call up Congress and request another bailout, using your retirement money.

Poison bids (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262139)

Neither Icahn, nor Blackstone were interested before Dell made the offer.

Icahn is a very divisive man, if you recall the Microsoft bid for Yahoo, he came in pretending to be an activist investor. Actually he didn't use his own money, he took European style put options on Yahoo. He then negotiated a package with Microsoft which he pretended was worth about $20/share, but actually included loans and was worth only about $8/share.

http://seekingalpha.com/article/80626-carl-icahn-yahoo-raider

One of the terms was that Microsoft would buy a portion of Yahoo stock at an inflated price in future (unspoken but obvious was that this would be Ichans stock, in effect it was his fee for destroying Yahoo).

He's turd, a lying corporate raider that's made billions by from shareholders using raider strategies. So as soon as I see his name attached to this, I immediately think he's taken out options on the stock and wants to drive the price up with a fake bid.

Re:Poison bids (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262193)

he took European style put options on Yahoo.

I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds cool.

Re:Poison bids (4, Informative)

garyebickford (222422) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262745)

AFAIK the major difference between European and US style options is that US options can be sold at any time up to the expiration, while European options can only be sold at expiration. So US options are much more flexible. Thus I don't know why Icahn would use European options.

Example: FOO (ticker for FooCo) is trading at $10. I buy an option to buy 100 shares of FOO at $10 six months from now, and I pay $.10 per option. I'm betting that FOO will be worth more than $10.10 in the next six months. For example if FOO goes to $10.50 I my option is now worth $.40 so I can make $.30 = 3 times my money. That's the basics of a 'call' option. (If the stock doesn't go up, the option expires worthless after six months, and I'm out the entire $.10 per share.)

But let's say after 3 months, while the stock is is now $10.20, there's a cloud on the horizon. I think before the six months is up the stock will be back down below $10, making my option worthless. In the US I can sell my option immediately, making only $.10 but avoiding the predicted loss of the entire $.10. In Europe I can not do that, I must hold the option until the bitter end.

Note: options give the opportunity to make a lot of money, but also the opportunity to lose 100% of your investment. Some options ('puts' - selling short) have the opportunity to make a lot of money but the opportunity to lose several, or many, times your money - you have an unlimited risk.

It's been a while since I was into this and I never was particularly good at it so I may have some details wrong but I think I have the gist.

Re:Poison bids (1)

femtobyte (710429) | about a year and a half ago | (#43263081)

Presumably, the relative "lack of flexibility" of the European-style options ends up built into their market price. Thus, the price of a more restrictive option will be lower than a more flexible one (according to how much investors think the risk of inflexibility will cost). If your strategy works out right (so the stock price is high at the expiration time), you can make a lot more profit buying cheaper, inflexible options than "wasting" the higher cost of unused flexibility. The European options hence aren't "inferior," they're just a different kind of gamble which will find its own price competitive with the US-style ones.

Re:Poison bids (1)

garyebickford (222422) | about a year and a half ago | (#43263201)

Yes, I think you are right.

Re:Poison bids (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43265393)

It doesn't really matter, since so few options are actually ever exercised. Folks just buy/sell the options---and buy/sell opposite sides to close out positions---so the whole actual exercise matters little in practice. (e.g. you sell a call option, around expiration time, instead of worrying about "uh, oh, I might have to deliver stock I don't own", you just buy the call option (at then current market price) to close out your position).

Re:Poison bids (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43264199)

Well you don't really have unlimited risk, there is always a discrete level of value in the market that one can never go above. My glass is always 0.0000000000000000000001% full when shorting.

I've found a better link to Icahns games here (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262197)

So Icahn claimed the deal was worth $33 a share, in fact he was including Yahoo cash in the numbers which was already owned by the shareholders, he proposed they distribute their cash to the shareholders. He then included an interest bearing loan from Microsoft as a gain to shareholders, it isn't, its money to Microsoft as interest from Yahoo for money it doesn't need to lend (well unless they hand their cash reserves to shareholders making them vulnerable to creditor Microsoft).

Then there's the final claim of value, the $19.50 a share he claim Yahoo would be worth after it had been stripped of assets, and in debt to Microsoft:
http://news.cnet.com/8301-1023_3-9990402-93.html

Microsoft had agreed to buy a portion of shares at that price in future. Almost certainly Icahns block of puts. That number is because he had put options at $19.50 which would be placed on expiry. You can see how he did a deal with Microsoft to enrich himself while trying to deceive the existing shareholders.

He lied to them about the value of the deal, it would have left Yahoo's advertising income dependent on Microsoft, whilst at the same time putting them in debt to Microsoft and stripping them of cash so they're easy to knock over.

He's bad news, if he's involved in a bid for Dell, you Dell shareholders are about to be ripped off.

If he gets his way, he'll be rich and you'll be poor. If he doesn't get his way, he agitates the company enough to drive down the price. By the time his guys had left the Yahoo board, Yahoo was practically gutted of its advertising revenue at Microsoft's gain.

Re:Poison bids (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262629)

This is beginning to remind me of an awesome movie [youtube.com] about a famous leveraged buyout.

What's the business plan? (2)

Bearhouse (1034238) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262167)

Hurd? Seriously? What did he do to turn around HP's operations before he got fired?
What makes these private equity guys think they can invest a ton of (borrowed) money in Dell and then somehow turn it around so dramatically that they will be able to make a profitable exit in the near future?

I can understand MS propping up Dell with a soft loan from their cash pile, to safeguard one of their biggest conduits to market. Maybe also as a potential OEM for MS hardware, (less likely). But Blackstone? Hell, it's not like Dell has a load of assets to sweat and strip either, they are pretty legendary for running a lean operation. Biggest assets must be Dell's name and a customer base that has loyalty based on price...

Re:What's the business plan? (4, Insightful)

alen (225700) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262185)

they don't

private equitty wants cash. they will "buy" dell, load them up with debt and special dividends and then take the cash for themselves leaving dell with lots of debt

Re:What's the business plan? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43264507)

You forgot the next step. Take it public again to foist the debt on the public, or recapitalizing a company on the brink of financial disaster, depending on how you view it. Both are true, but the whole is terrible for consumers, the public, and whoever is left holding a ruined company after one or more rounds of this. The bankers make money at every turn helping pull this scam.

Hurd -captain of titanic (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262265)

If you want someone to collide with an iceburg, Mark Hurd is the rare sort of individual who can set a course straight for the one most likely to sink your ship. C'mon, the guy has such a lack of ethics, combined with a lack of subtety, that he got caught using company funds to pay for his girlfriend. And the best plan for your investment is to hire this weasel.

Re:Hurd -captain of titanic (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43263567)

He's also the idiot that took Sun apart and ran off all the top Solaris talent...

crocodile tears (0)

tverbeek (457094) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262313)

As Hurd was fired as Hewlett Packard's CEO in 2010 for alleged sexual misconduct involving an outside consultant named Jodie Fisher, he might have difficulty landing another CEO job at a publicly traded company

Between this and the media's sympathy for the Steubenville rapists, it's so "heart-warming" to see so much concern for the career prospects of sexual predators.

Re:crocodile tears (1)

gatkinso (15975) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262879)

To be fair, the label "predator" is a bit strong on this case. "Pig" is more appropriate.

Re:crocodile tears (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43263093)

To be fair, the label "predator" is a bit strong on this case. "Pig" is more appropriate.

Whore is the appropriate term for Mark Hurd. He was whoring around with his girlfriend and expensing it through the corporation. Such a man of integrity and ethical behaviour. Not.

Re:crocodile tears (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43265463)

Sexual harassment is predatory.
Congratulations, apologist: you're part of the problem.

Re:crocodile tears (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262913)

OT: Steubenville is the entirely predictable consequence of prosecutors charging parents for giving alcohol to teens. When they control the booze they can provide supervision. We had plenty of parents who would give us alcohol in high school, they just put a few limits on things like pick a DD at the start of the night and no alcohol leaves the house. Now they're held criminally liable as though they were liquor store clerks handing it out to five year olds instead of parents who love their children and want them to be safe while they have fun. Now when things get out of hand there are no adults around to put a stop to them. What an improvement.

Re:crocodile tears (1)

femtobyte (710429) | about a year and a half ago | (#43263199)

Right, because once parents stopped being allowed to get their kids likker'd up, they lost the ability to teach them that gang-raping a comatose woman is un-cool.

Wait, no, that makes no sense.

I'll believe that overly-restrictive alcohol prohibition has some culpability for specifically alcohol-related problems (like incidences of binge drinking and alcohol poisoning among young drinkers). But gang-raping a drugged woman, then tweeting it to your pals to show how cool you are, isn't something that "just happens" whenever you get drunk --- when you're drunk, you're just uninhibited in carrying out actions that you'd somewhat like to do cold sober (but realize you wouldn't get away with). This incident indicates a cold-sober culture of misogyny (revealed by "vero in vino"), which is an entirely separate problem from alcohol-prohibition-specific harms.

Re:crocodile tears (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43264033)

Blame parenting all you like. It doesn't change the fact that if you take the adults out of the equation more bad shit will happen.

Re:crocodile tears (1)

femtobyte (710429) | about a year and a half ago | (#43264603)

Yeah, "bad shit" happens, like black eyes from a drunken fistfight, or a cock-and-balls drawing in permanent marker on someone's forehead.

But "everyone in the room agrees gang-raping an unconscious woman is fun" is a bit beyond "bad shit" that any drunken teen would accidentally do without their parents around. This should be seen as no more normal/OK than a gang of drunken teens deciding to go out and knife a gay/black/jew/nerd to death just for laughs, "because boys will be boys." Rape apologists like you are missing the actual societal problems (a total disregard for, if not gleeful violation of, the personal boundaries of women's bodies), trying to assign blame on "big bad government regulations against partying" instead of pervasive misogyny.

Re:crocodile tears (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43263951)

Yeah, total teen prohibition is stupid. But if the only way you can prevent your son from raping his classmate is to keep him at home where his blood-alcohol level can be monitored, then you have utterly failed as a parent.

Interesting.. (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262317)

Dell should let either Blackstone or Icann purchased his share. Let them both have Dell Computer on their hands. Let's see whether they can control a "real" company instead of just trading it.

Ruin Dell like Java (2)

devforhire (2658537) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262403)

Don't let past Oracle execs run your company. Oracle has single handedly destroyed Java by their indifference/incompetence.

Re:Ruin Dell like Java (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43263131)

Oracle has single handedly destroyed Java by their indifference/incompetence.

You say that as though the destruction of Java is a bad thing. The sooner Java is removed from all systems the better.

Just shut it down! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262479)

And give the money back to the shareholders.

http://news.cnet.com/2100-1001-203937.html

refreshing honesty (1)

Threni (635302) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262623)

billionaire investor Carl Icahn threatened to tie up the buyout in court unless a large special dividend was paid to shareholders

never buying dell again (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43262715)

if there this pro microsoft il go amd from now on.....

I feel terrible for Mr Dell (0)

gatkinso (15975) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262877)

After all, he will only make $20 billion as opposed to $30 billion.

What a tragedy.

Perfect Storm (1)

mauriceh (3721) | about a year and a half ago | (#43262931)

This is too wonderful for words to describe:
Dell, Hurd, Icahn, Ballmer, Ellison, all in one place?
Let them have a meeting and use a mini-nuke on the place.

Are we sure that we can not get Apple interested as well?

In one small step the whole USA tech environment could be improved beyond measure.

Opportunities like this should not be ignored!
Maybe we could get the Chinese to "buy in", and have the dirty work executed by the Taliban
or perhaps North Korea?

I smell a book deal..

Re:Perfect Storm (1)

game kid (805301) | about a year and a half ago | (#43264721)

This is too wonderful for words to describe:
Dell, Hurd, Icahn, Ballmer, Ellison, all in one place?
Let them have a meeting and use a mini-nuke on the place.

I like this idea, except the "mini" part. Super-size it, lest they survive and lich out on us (can you even imagine how dangerous a lichform CEO can be!? They can freeze, teleport, and make business deals!).

Smoke And Mirrors (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43263203)

Ah Ha ! So Micky Dell's real reason for the 'buy out to go private' gets out of the bag. "Uuuu That Smell ... Can You Smell That Smell."

Wow. What a real sleaze Dell is ! Wonder how those investment $$$$ from the California and New York Retirement Unions will react to this !

Short answer: short the current trading price starting Monday and watch the spring slide begin !

I'll have a fresh bag of popcorn ready Monday to watch the blood bath.

$2B from Microsoft (3, Insightful)

bill_mcgonigle (4333) | about a year and a half ago | (#43263325)

I'm surprised this opportunity hasn't given Microsoft the impetus it needs to do the "whole widget" thing, like it seems to envy in Apple. Really, with Microsoft owning Dell, many of the corporate players who buy IBM, HP, et. al. would quickly jump ship to avoid the finger-pointing the 3rd parties are capable of getting away with. Since the DoJ consent decree is expired, it would seem like the right time, but perhaps this becomes easier after the private sale is complete.

Re:$2B from Microsoft (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43264101)

MS won't buy Dell because it will make them responsible for their product. Now they are one step removed from the customer and have someone they can point to when things go wrong.

Re:$2B from Microsoft (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43265245)

Is everybody forgetting that Microsoft already sells their own tablets these days?

Re:$2B from Microsoft (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43266951)

No, but that fact doesn't help arguing that Microsoft is evil.

Yea perfect fit alright... not (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43263513)

Good fit? hah... Dell possibly goes private with a new CEO who would more then likely do more "sexual misconduct" aka screwing all the dumb blondes in his office(s)... Sheesh

Dell is moving toward India (4, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43264975)

I used to work for Dell Services. Our entire management chain was in India. They outsourced the division president around Christmas. When I looked on line it was India all the way up the chain. My manger was in India. I talked to her 4 times total in 2 years. We would get invited to meetings in India at 2 AM. So it is obvious where they are going.

Dell brings a lot of H1-B and L-2 visa transfers over instead of hiring Americans and is pushing as much work to India as possible. The job I was in did not have alot of hours and they were not ripping me off. I can't speak for Dell corporate. Dell services was Ross Perot's company. Its basically just a big contracting company. It is more than a body shop since they don't bid on small projects. That was a Perot policy. They had layoffs at the end of the year. I don't know anyone who was here on a Visa who got laid off. If the new H1-B visa thing goes through I expect more non-Visa Dell employees will be deemed 'unqualified' and replaced.

For those wondering non-managers don't get raises. It is pay for performance, but no one does well enough to get a raise They also slashed benefits. Medical benefits now only cover generics. This means if there is a semi-like generic and your doctor says you need this other drug (noteably a cancer drug) you get NO coverage whatsoever.

A higher price for Dell going private is bad for employees. When companies get bought out it is with loans. The service on the loan is paid from profits in the company. It goes right on the books. Banks won't give loans this big unless they can use the company as equity. Which means that if they can't pay the loans, then the company gets broken up and sold in pieces to pay the banks back. This usually means wage and benefit cuts. In Dell's case it means more Americans get canned for jobs in India for Visa transfers to the US.

They do some silly stuff. They had this video on the internal site where they said everyone is a customer service rep. They wanted people to volunteer their time to provide online customer service to people on top of their regular duties. It was so pathetic a group of us were making fun of the video.

Re:Dell is moving toward India (2)

Xest (935314) | about a year and a half ago | (#43268765)

FWIW I and both my previous employers all stopped using Dell when they started to move to India.

It coincided with a massive decrease in build quality and support quality - laptops turning up without keyboard cables plugged into motherboards, tech support folks in India insisting they need us to give them the error message on screen before they can get an engineer out when we phone up to tell them the laptop is completely dead and wont turn on.

Prior to the outsourcing moves we actually used to really like Dell, quality hardware and quality support. We were happy to pay for that. Now it's just bottom of the pile trash and I can get that cheaper elsewhere I'm afraid.

Here's the problem.... (1)

erp_consultant (2614861) | about a year and a half ago | (#43265953)

As much as Dell has tried to branch out into other lines of business besides commodity PC's, Wall Street still sees them as PC makers. Sure, they do a lot of work in the Enterprise space but, try as they might, they can't shake that "PC maker" label. Dell bought Perot Systems a few years back, trying to get into the Enterprise Software business. I could probably count on one hand how many deals they have won since then. Maybe Michael Dell can turn it around but he's got a tough road ahead of him. As far as I can tell, the only PC maker that has successfully made it into the services business is IBM. My bet is that Ichan will sell the company off for parts.

Re:Here's the problem.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43266071)

$25 billion is a lot for those parts, I doubt the company can be sold off and fetch anywhere near that. Even assuming that they have a decent size cash stockpile.

I suspect Icahn is bluffing, he's just in there to cause trouble and either collect greenmail from the board, or raise the final price so he can get a nice return on the 6 percent of Dell stock he snapped up in the last couple months. I don't think he has any idea how to make Dell worth more than $13.65/share.

Punishment enough. (2)

godel_56 (1287256) | about a year and a half ago | (#43266289)

After being sacked for cheating on his expense account to shack up with his mistress, at the rate of $10,000 to $20,000 a time:

Hurd acknowledged there were "instances in which I did not live up to the standards and principles of trust, respect and integrity that I have espoused at HP." Hurd, who is married with two children, will get a $12.2 million severance payment and nearly 350,000 shares of HP stock worth about $16 million at Friday's closing price. The company also extended the deadline for exercising options to buy up to 775,000 HP shares."

So that's why IPv6 never takes off (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43266721)

IPv6 would be better off if Icahn's would stop trying to game the stock market and focused on getting IPv6 on every device ASAP.
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