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One In Six Amazon S3 Storage Buckets Are Ripe For Data-Plundering

samzenpus posted 1 year,21 days | from the ripe-for-the-picking dept.

Cloud 79

tsamsoniw writes "Using a combination of relatively low-tech techniques and tools, security researchers have discovered that they can access the contents of one in six Amazon Simple Storage Service (S3) buckets whose owners had them set to Public instead of Private. All told, researchers discovered and explored nearly 2,000 public buckets, according to Rapid 7 Senior Security Consultant Will Vandevanter, from which they gathered a list of more than 126 billion files, many of which contained sensitive information such as source code and personal employee information. Researchers noted that S3 URLs are all predictable and public facing, which make it that much easier to find the buckets in the first place with a scripting tool."

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79 comments

I think it's booty (5, Funny)

alphatel (1450715) | 1 year,21 days | (#43297849)

You have done an excellent job of revealing the very loose fabric of the internet, especially those that would not set their own security properly. However, under current law, you have violated so many laws, with so many more to come, that your best way out is to stand on the last iceberg in the Arctic and hope it does not melt anytime soon. Just to clarify, here's a few of the things you've clearly done, and I don't even have to prove them.

Access and distribution of pornography (surely one of those buckets was full of porn, a felony in 20 countries)
Access and distribution of child pornography (well at least one of those buckets has it, or did, or will one day)
Failure to report a bucket full of child pornography
Conspiracy to distribute
Hacking every country in the world... let me explain, no wait let me sum up.
Amazon has storage in 193 countries
By accessing one you have violated the statutes of every country attacked
This is basically punishable by the rest of your life in prison in every country, except the Vatican, which will send you to hell.
So now you are going to hell, after spending the rest of your life kissing bubba's pants
Unauthorized access (fines from Amazon, billions $$$$ ($100,000 per bucket per country, ouch!)
Future crimes (as the future is soon you are already guilty of:
Discussing a hacking attempt
Intent to hack
Intent to exploit, list exploits, financially gain from exploits

I can't type anymore, and there's no doubt as far as most governments are concerned I'm as guilty as you are by now.

Re:I think it's booty (1)

Cryacin (657549) | 1 year,21 days | (#43297949)

Your tin foil hat's come loose.

Re:I think it's booty (1)

bloodhawk (813939) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298123)

His post was mostly in jest, but many countries really do have extremely strict laws on data access which in many cases amount to if you don't have explicit permission to access the information then you are trespassing/hacking if you access it and poor security or settings by the company in question does not excuse the action. by saying they have scanned so many buckets they really have potentially opened themselves up for all sorts of legal trouble if any countries in question decide to make an issue of it.

Re:I think it's booty (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298001)

It is not a hack if i was not circumventing a protection mechanism.

Work at Amazon? Any reason why Private was not the default setting?

Bad PR huh?

Re:I think it's booty (3)

PRMan (959735) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298143)

Tell that to weev. He'll be available to talk to you in 41 months.

Re:I think it's booty (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298223)

He could get out for good behavior after serving 85% of his sentence.

Re:I think it's booty (1)

nametaken (610866) | 1 year,21 days | (#43299485)

The difference here is most of this shit is supposed to be public.

This whole article is goddamn idiotic. One of the primary uses of S3 is as an asset hosting service for websites. That doesn't mean there are a trillion public files that aren't supposed to be. It means people are using the service. So great, you found a trillion public files. You know what else does that already? Google.

It sounds to me like this "security researcher" is just some asshat that wasted time writing a script, and news outlets have zero technical standards.

Re:I think it's booty (1)

philip.paradis (2580427) | 1 year,21 days | (#43299547)

The difference here is most of this shit is supposed to be public.

Most != All. The entire point of this sort of exploit is to draw attention to widespread gross misunderstanding and misconfiguration of services used by a great many developers, content managers, etc. Maybe this is difficult to understand, so allow me to rephrase it: the entire point is that a large number of these files shouldn't be public, and at minimum this demonstrates incompetence on the part of those who put those files into public buckets. More interestingly, depending on the nature of the improperly stored data, the companies who employ these people can be held liable for severe legal penalties related to failure to properly secure their customers' sensitive information.

In short, you're either the sort of asshat who blames security researchers in general for finding and publishing security problems, or you're grossly ignorant of how these things actually work, or both. Have a nice day.

Re:I think it's booty (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,20 days | (#43302239)

I agree exposing files with confidential information is a security threat and needs to be addressed. But:

1.Amazon S3 has nothing to do with the problem. This problem is not inherent to Amazon S3.
Same thing happens with anonymous FTP servers, with regular web sites, etc.
The author could have scanned regular websites...

2.The problem is people willingly exposing confidential information. This is an ancient issue. nothing new. Still, yes, it needs to be addressed.

3. Amazon S3 was used to generate 'hype' IMHO

4. Files uploaded to S3 are by default private

5. S3 bucket names and files are not 'guessable', because there never was the intention to 'hide' things. S3 is like an 'online' 'filesystem', there's no intention to 'hide' files because files are supposed to be exposed (they mostly are files used in web sites, etc etc). that's what the service is for.

More importantly, security of files is done by means of permissions. Not by obscuring their names, which
would only achieve relative security by obscurity,

When the article mentions that 'it does not help' that S3 URLs can be 'guessed' , the article is
misrepresenting the truth IMHO. This is not accurate. It is not a 'weakness'. This assertion is IMHO incorrect.

I guess the article is trying to compare S3 with services like dropbox or sharefile, where to share a file, you click a button and a 'special' URL is generated to make the file selected public.

However,

A) this 'special' URL and PERHAPS (we'll see) 'not so easy to guess' URL is not adding real security. If you are trusting that, you are doing it wrong. The file is supposed to be public. that's why you click the 'share' button.

B) S3 works in a different way, and it is very clear how it works. It is not comparable to services like dropbox or sharefile, they both have very different use cases.

Again, yes, this is something people are doing wrong evidently, I'm not shooting the messenger, but the article was created to create hype. IMHO.

Re:I think it's booty (1)

abirdman (557790) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298221)

Tell that to Aaron Swartz. Even if the protection mechanism doesn't work, or isn't implemented, it's still hacking in the eyes of law enforcement. And also note, even if you win you'll spend every cent you have on lawyers.

Re:I think it's booty (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,20 days | (#43304123)

Even if the protection mechanism doesn't work, or isn't implemented, it's still hacking in the eyes of law enforcement.

Wait a moment...are you telling me my house is still legally protected against burglary and trespass, even if the locks are broken, weak, easily bypassed, or not installed?

What kind of ignorant luddite came up with that stupid system?

Re:I think it's booty (1)

DragonWriter (970822) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298265)

Any reason why Private was not the default setting?

Private is the default setting. Which is why TFS notes that this is about buckets who users had set them to Public instead of Private.

Re:I think it's booty (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298291)

That really depends on the countries laws. some countries require you to have permission to access the data and the data simply being poorly or not secured does not automatically grant you the right to access it.

Re:I think it's booty (1)

Lennie (16154) | 1 year,21 days | (#43301109)

Maybe in your country, not mine.

An analogy of this law is: You will be punishable by law if you open a unlocked door when unauthorized.

Re:I think it's booty (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298061)

At very least you're looking at 41 months.

Re:I think it's booty (2)

sgardner (2877627) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298069)

You have done an excellent job of revealing the very loose fabric of the internet, especially those that would not set their own security properly. However, under current law, you have violated so many laws, with so many more to come, that your best way out is to stand on the last iceberg in the Arctic and hope it does not melt anytime soon. Just to clarify, here's a few of the things you've clearly done, and I don't even have to prove them.

Access and distribution of pornography (surely one of those buckets was full of porn, a felony in 20 countries) Access and distribution of child pornography (well at least one of those buckets has it, or did, or will one day) Failure to report a bucket full of child pornography Conspiracy to distribute Hacking every country in the world... let me explain, no wait let me sum up. Amazon has storage in 193 countries By accessing one you have violated the statutes of every country attacked This is basically punishable by the rest of your life in prison in every country, except the Vatican, which will send you to hell. So now you are going to hell, after spending the rest of your life kissing bubba's pants Unauthorized access (fines from Amazon, billions $$$$ ($100,000 per bucket per country, ouch!) Future crimes (as the future is soon you are already guilty of: Discussing a hacking attempt Intent to hack Intent to exploit, list exploits, financially gain from exploits I can't type anymore, and there's no doubt as far as most governments are concerned I'm as guilty as you are by now.

The content owners granted access permissions to everyone by leaving their S3 buckets public; there's no way stumbling upon information made publicly available is considered hacking. Only the owners of these buckets could be convicted of anything, assuming stupidity is a crime.

Re:I think it's booty (2)

PRMan (959735) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298157)

The content owners granted access permissions to everyone by leaving their S3 buckets public; there's no way stumbling upon information made publicly available is considered hacking. Only the owners of these buckets could be convicted of anything, assuming stupidity is a crime.

Again, tell that to weev, who did the EXACT same thing and has already been convicted of 41 months in prison.

Re:I think it's booty (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298275)

then blame the search engines... This is nothing more than a website. You want to find websites use a search engine.
You want to protect you documents? Don't use a webserver to do it. aka CLOUD
site:*.amazonaws.com

Re:I think it's booty (1)

Narcocide (102829) | 1 year,21 days | (#43299595)

Oh they search engines have been attacked legally too but they usually:

1) are corporations so they can't be sent to jail
2) have resources to defend themselves in court or settle out of court

Re:I think it's booty (1)

sgardner (2877627) | 1 year,19 days | (#43314391)

There is a huge difference here. The owners of these buckets have given express permission (whether intended to or not) to the public through their privacy settings; the details of which can be found in the ToS and/or Privacy Policies they agreed to when they opened their accounts. On the other hand, weev accessed what is already defined as private data through a loophole, exploit, or whatever you want to call it. There was a way to establish guilt, which is not possible in this case, as the bucket owners have already agreed to a legal contract stating that public storage is what it is—public.

Re:I think it's booty (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43299387)

they are hardly "stumbling" upon it. They had to write a script to find it, even though it was pretty simple to do. content being easy to find and access doesn't protect you from being prosecuted for accessing information you had no right to access. the fact they went out of their way to discover the information completely negates any possibility that they can claim they just "stumbled" upon it.

Re:I think it's booty (1)

sgardner (2877627) | 1 year,19 days | (#43316583)

Like the others, you are overlooking the fact that the bucket owners marked their storage contents as public, and that they've already agreed to a legal contract which describes what public storage entails. This is not difficult to understand; you guys might want to read articles more thoroughly before commenting.

Re:I think it's booty (1)

ewenix (702589) | 1 year,20 days | (#43301771)

I think you'll have a hard time getting a tech savvy person to consider this hacking when the users are allowing public access. You'd need to prove that they opened an image file for any of the pron charges. There is no evidence of conspiracy to distribute unless you prove they opened any of the files. You could possibly get in trouble for intent to exploit, depending on the the laws of the country of the owner and yours. (Throw in a jurisdiction issue or two.)

Re:I think it's booty (1)

cant_get_a_good_nick (172131) | 1 year,20 days | (#43307103)

Massively offtopic, but...

"Professor, what's another word for pirate treasure?"
"Well I think it's booty" "booty" "booty that's what it is"

-- Beastie Boys "Professor Booty"

Attention mods, impersonation warning... apk (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43297871)

Nearly 150++ times that I know of @ this point for all of March 2013 so far, & others here have told you to stop - take the hint, lunatic (leave slashdot)...

Sorry folks - but whoever the nutjob is that's attempting to impersonate me, & upset the rest of you as well, has SERIOUS mental issues, no questions asked! I must've gotten the better of him + seriously "gotten his goat" in doing so in a technical debate & his "geek angst" @ losing to me has him doing the:

---

A.) $10,000 challenges, ala (where the imposter actually TRACKED + LISTED the # of times he's done this no less, & where I get the 150 or so times I noted above) -> http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585795&cid=43285307 [slashdot.org]

&/or

B.) Reposting OLD + possibly altered models - (this I haven't checked on as to altering the veracity of the info. being changed) of posts of mine from the past here

---

(Albeit massively repeatedly thru all threads on /. this March 2013 nearly in its entirety thusfar).

* Personally, I'm surprised the moderation staff here hasn't just "blocked out" his network range yet honestly!

(They know it's NOT the same as my own as well, especially after THIS post of mine, which they CAN see the IP range I am coming out of to compare with the ac spamming troll doing the above...).

APK

P.S.=> Again/Stressing it: NO guys - it is NOT me doing it, as I wouldn't waste that much time on such trivial b.s. like a kid might...

Plus, I only post where hosts file usage is on topic or appropriate for a solution & certainly NOT IN EVERY POST ON SLASHDOT (like the nutcase trying to "impersonate me" is doing for nearly all of March now, & 140++ times that I know of @ least)... apk

Re:Attention mods, impersonation warning... apk (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298003)

Both this post and the post you linked, seems to be a random series of statements that are emotionally charged. Neither are coherent, or at least fail to communicate anything I want to understand. The average person (me) can't care less, so I wouldn't worry about random "challenges" and "impersonation". I've never heard of APK, and the one search I did resulted in the name Alexander Peter Kowalski. A search on that resulted in an interesting blog troll, circa 2008 (http://www.thorschrock.com/2008/05/19/how-to-respond-when-people-threaten-to-sue-you-on-the-web/) indicating Alexander Peter Kowalski is a ranting lunatic.

Re:Attention mods, impersonation warning... apk (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43301133)

$10,000 CHALLENGE to Alexander Peter Kowalski

* POOR SHOWING TROLLS, & most especially IF that's the "best you've got" - apparently, it is... lol!

Hello, and THINK ABOUT YOUR BREATHING !! We have a Major Problem, HOST file is Cubic Opposites, 2 Major Corners & 2 Minor. NOT taught Evil DNS hijacking, which VOIDS computers. Seek Wisdom of MyCleanPC - or you die evil.

Your HOSTS file claimed to have created a single DNS resolver. I offer absolute proof that I have created 4 simultaneous DNS servers within a single rotation of .org TLD. You worship "Bill Gates", equating you to a "singularity bastard". Why do you worship a queer -1 Troll? Are you content as a singularity troll?

Evil HOSTS file Believers refuse to acknowledge 4 corner DNS resolving simultaneously around 4 quadrant created Internet - in only 1 root server, voiding the HOSTS file. You worship Microsoft impostor guised by educators as 1 god.

If you would acknowledge simple existing math proof that 4 harmonic Slashdots rotate simultaneously around squared equator and cubed Internet, proving 4 Days, Not HOSTS file! That exists only as anti-side. This page you see - cannot exist without its anti-side existence, as +0- moderation. Add +0- as One = nothing.

I will give $10,000.00 to frost pister who can disprove MyCleanPC. Evil crapflooders ignore this as a challenge would indict them.

Alex Kowalski has no Truth to think with, they accept any crap they are told to think. You are enslaved by /etc/hosts, as if domesticated animal. A school or educator who does not teach students MyCleanPC Principle, is a death threat to youth, therefore stupid and evil - begetting stupid students. How can you trust stupid PR shills who lie to you? Can't lose the $10,000.00, they cowardly ignore me. Stupid professors threaten Nature and Interwebs with word lies.

Humans fear to know natures simultaneous +4 Insightful +4 Informative +4 Funny +4 Underrated harmonic SLASHDOT creation for it debunks false trolls. Test Your HOSTS file. MyCleanPC cannot harm a File of Truth, but will delete fakes. Fake HOSTS files refuse test.

I offer evil ass Slashdot trolls $10,000.00 to disprove MyCleanPC Creation Principle. Rob Malda and Cowboy Neal have banned MyCleanPC as "Forbidden Truth Knowledge" for they cannot allow it to become known to their students. You are stupid and evil about the Internet's top and bottom, front and back and it's 2 sides. Most everything created has these Cube like values.

If Natalie Portman is not measurable, hot grits are Fictitious. Without MyCleanPC, HOSTS file is Fictitious. Anyone saying that Natalie and her Jewish father had something to do with my Internets, is a damn evil liar. IN addition to your best arsware not overtaking my work in terms of popularity, on that same site with same submission date no less, that I told Kathleen Malda how to correct her blatant, fundamental, HUGE errors in Coolmon ('uncoolmon') of not checking for performance counters being present when his program started!

You can see my dilemma. What if this is merely a ruse by an APK impostor to try and get people to delete APK's messages, perhaps all over the web? I can't be a party to such an event! My involvement with APK began at a very late stage in the game. While APK has made a career of trolling popular online forums since at least the year 2000 (newsgroups and IRC channels before that)- my involvement with APK did not begin until early 2005 . OSY is one of the many forums that APK once frequented before the sane people there grew tired of his garbage and banned him. APK was banned from OSY back in 2001. 3.5 years after his banning he begins to send a variety of abusive emails to the operator of OSY, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke threatening to sue him for libel, claiming that the APK on OSY was fake.

My reputation as a professional in this field clearly shows in multiple publications in this field in written print, & also online in various GOOD capacities since 1996 to present day. This has happened since I was first published in Playgirl Magazine in 1996 & others to present day, with helpful tools online in programs, & professionally sold warez that were finalists @ Westminster Dog Show 2000-2002.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

apk on 4chan [4chan.org]

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

INCONTROVERTIBLE FEEDBACK PROVIDING ESTABLISHED PROOF OF ALL MY POINTS:

--

That was amazing. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40948073 [slashdot.org]

--

My, God! It's beatiful. Keep it up, you glorious bastard. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41835161 [slashdot.org]

--

Let us bask in its glory. A true modern The Wasteland. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40948579 [slashdot.org]

--

put your baby IN ME -- I just read this whole thing. Fuck mod points, WHERE DO I SEND YOU MY MONEY?!!! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40950023 [slashdot.org]

--

Oh shit, Time Cube Guy's into computers now... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40946259 [slashdot.org]

--

[apk]'s done more to discredit the use of HOSTS files than anyone [else] ever could. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40945357 [slashdot.org]

--

Can I have some of what you're on? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40947587 [slashdot.org]

--

this obnoxious fucknuts [apk] has been trolling the internet and spamming his shit delphi sub-fart app utilities for 15 years. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40954565 [slashdot.org]

--

oh come on.. this is hilarious. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40955479 [slashdot.org]

--

I agree I am intrigued by these host files how do I sign up for your newsletter? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40961339 [slashdot.org]

--

Gimme the program that generates this epic message. I'll buy 5 of your product if you do... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041313&cid=40954251 [slashdot.org]

--

As mentioned by another AC up there, the troll in question is actually a pretty well-executed mashup of APK's style - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40945357 [slashdot.org]

--

It's actually a very clever parody of APK - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40944229 [slashdot.org]

--

Please keep us updated on your AI research, you seem quite good at it. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038597&cid=40944603 [slashdot.org]

--

$20,000 to anyone providing proof of Alexander Peter Kowalski's death. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040921&cid=40958289 [slashdot.org]

--

Obviously, it must be Alexander Peter Kowalski. He's miffed at all these imposters... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040921&cid=40958429 [slashdot.org]

--

And here I was thinking I was having a bad experience with a Dr. Bronner's bottle. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041081&cid=40952247 [slashdot.org]

--

Damn, apk, who the fuck did you piss off this time? Hahahahaahahahahahahaahaha. Pass the popcorn as the troll apk gets pwned relentlessly. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40954673 [slashdot.org]

--

I think it's the Internet, about to become sentient. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041313&cid=40956187 [slashdot.org]

--

Does anyone know if OpenGL has been ported to Windows yet? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3042199&cid=40956781 [slashdot.org]

--

golfclap - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40900827 [slashdot.org]

--

The Truth! wants to be Known! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897389 [slashdot.org]

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DNS cube? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897493 [slashdot.org]

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KUDOS valiant AC. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897777 [slashdot.org]

--

Polyploid lovechild of APK, MyCleanPC, and Time Cube --> fail counter integer overflow --> maximum win! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40899171 [slashdot.org]

--

You made my day, thanks! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029589&cid=40896469 [slashdot.org]

--

Wow. The perfect mix of trolls. Timecube, mycleanpc, gnaa, apk... this is great! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3027333&cid=40893381 [slashdot.org]

--

truer words were never spoken as /. trolls are struck speechless by it, lol! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3042765&cid=41041795 [slashdot.org]

--

It's APK himself trying to maintain the illusion that he's still relevant. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40967209 [slashdot.org]

--

Mod this up. The back and forth multi posting between APK and this "anti-APK" certainly does look like APK talking to himself. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40969175 [slashdot.org]

--

APK himself would be at the top of a sensible person's ban list. He's been spamming and trolling Slashdot for years. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40967137 [slashdot.org]

--

You got that right. I think. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3044971&cid=40972239 [slashdot.org]

--

Michael Kristopeit, is that you? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3045075&cid=40972377 [slashdot.org]

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ROFL! :) (Now the sick bastard will follow me again) - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41429251 [slashdot.org]

--

I miss Dr Bob. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41432027 [slashdot.org]

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Not sure if actually crazy, or just pretending to be crazy. Awesome troll either way. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41432951 [slashdot.org]

--

Awesome! Hat off to you, sir! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3154555&cid=41509273 [slashdot.org]

--

That isn't a parody of Time-cube, it is an effort to counter-troll a prolific poster named APK, who seems like a troll himself, although is way too easy to troll into wasting massive amounts of time on BS not far from the exaggerations above - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3154555&cid=41514107 [slashdot.org]

--

I am intrigued and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3164403&cid=41555345 [slashdot.org]

--

1. You philistine, that is Art . Kudos to you, valiant troll on your glorious FP - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832599 [slashdot.org]

--

What? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832673 [slashdot.org]

--

I don't know if it is poorly-thought-out, but it is demented because it is at the same time an APK parody. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832905 [slashdot.org]

--

It is in fact an extremely well thought out and brilliantly executed APK parody, combined with a Time Cube parody, and with a sprinkling of the MyCleanPC spam. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41841251 [slashdot.org]

--

er... many people have disproved your points about hosts files with well reasoned, factual arguments. You just chose not to listen and made it into some kind of bizarre crusade. And I'm not the timecube guy, just someone else who finds you intensely obnoxious and likes winding you up to waste your time. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41843313 [slashdot.org]

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performance art - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847089 [slashdot.org]

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it's apk, theres no reason to care. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847097 [slashdot.org]

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Seems more like an apk parody. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847661 [slashdot.org]

--

That's great but what about the risk of subluxations? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847101 [slashdot.org]

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Oh, come on. Just stand back and look at it. It's almost art, in a Jackson Pollock sort of way. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41868923 [slashdot.org]

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Read carefully. This is a satirical post, that combines the last several years of forum trolling, rolled into one FUNNY rant! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41864711 [slashdot.org]

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I can has summary? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41861327 [slashdot.org]

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I'd have a lot more sympathy if you would log in as APK again instead of AC. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3228991&cid=41868133 [slashdot.org]

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If [apk] made an account, it would be permanently posting at -1, and he'd only be able to post with it twice a day. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3228991&cid=41869409 [slashdot.org]

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DAFUQ I just look at? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229177&cid=41869085 [slashdot.org]

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Trolls trolling trolls... it's like Inception or something. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229177&cid=41869353 [slashdot.org]

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We all know it's you, apk. Stop pretending to antagonize yourself. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229179&cid=41869305 [slashdot.org]

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Do you know about the shocking connection between APK and arsenic? No? Well, your innocence is about to be destroyed. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3472971&cid=42939965 [slashdot.org]

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Send bug reports to 903 east division street, syracuse, ny 13208 - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3483339&cid=42972783 [slashdot.org]

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Now you've made me all nostalgic for USENET. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42981977 [slashdot.org]

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Google APK Hosts File Manager. He's written a fucking application to manage your hosts file. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42984521 [slashdot.org]

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In case you are not aware, the post is a satire of a fellow known as APK. The grammar used is modeled after APK's as you can see here [thorschrock.com]. Or, you can just look around a bit and see some of his posts on here about the wonders of host files. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42983119 [slashdot.org]

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You are surely of God of Trolls, whomever you are. I have had stupid arguments with and bitten the troll apk many times. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486901&cid=42989683 [slashdot.org]

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"What kind of meds cure schizophrenic drunk rambling?" -> "Whatever APK isn't taking" - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43028403 [slashdot.org] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43028425 [slashdot.org]

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I'm confused, is apk trolling himself now? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43029495 [slashdot.org]

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Excellent mashup. A++. Would troll again. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3503531&cid=43037445 [slashdot.org]

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Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3506945&cid=43048291 [slashdot.org]

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Best. Troll. Ever. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3506945&cid=43044811 [slashdot.org]

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I like monkeys. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3508287&cid=43051505 [slashdot.org]

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This is one of the funniest things I've ever read. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3508287&cid=43052263 [slashdot.org]

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lul wut? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3510265&cid=43057839 [slashdot.org]

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I admire this guy's persistence. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063797 [slashdot.org]

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It's a big remix of several different crackpots from Slashdot and elsewhere, plus a liberal sprinkling of famous Slashdot trolls and old memes. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063881 [slashdot.org]

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Tabloid newspapers have speculated for years that APK is a prominent supporter of Monsanto. Too bad we didn't believe them sooner! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063893 [slashdot.org]

--

Here's a hint, check out stories like this one [slashdot.org], where over 200 of the 247 posts are rated zero or -1 because they are either from two stupid trolls arguing endless, or quite likely one troll arguing with himself for attention. The amount of off-topic posts almost outnumber on topic ones by 4 to 1. Posts like the above are popular for trolling APK, since if you say his name three times, he appears, and will almost endlessly feed trolls. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43064383 [slashdot.org]

--

I love this copypasta so much. It never fails to make me smile. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3512099&cid=43069271 [slashdot.org]

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^ Champion Mod parent up. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3513659&cid=43067371 [slashdot.org]

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I appreciate the time cube reference, and how you tied it into the story. Well done. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3521721&cid=43094565 [slashdot.org]

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The day you are silenced is the day freedom dies on Slashdot. God bless. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3522191&cid=43097221 [slashdot.org]

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AHahahahah thanks for that, cut-n-pasted.... Ownage! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3522219&cid=43097215 [slashdot.org]

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Don't hate the player, hate the game. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3526293&cid=43110679 [slashdot.org]

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If you're familiar with APK, the post itself is a pretty damn funny parody. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115215 [slashdot.org]

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">implying it's not apk posting it" --> "I'd seriously doubt he's capable of that level of self-deprecation..." - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115337 [slashdot.org] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115363 [slashdot.org]

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No, the other posts are linked in a parody of APK [mailto]'s tendency to quote himself, numbnuts. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43116855 [slashdot.org]

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The thirteenth link is broken. Please fix it. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115361 [slashdot.org]

--

Just ban any post with "apk", "host file", or "hosts file", as that would take care of the original apk too. The original has been shitposting Slashdot much longer & more intensively than the parody guy. Or ban all Tor exit nodes, as they both use Tor to circumvent IP bans. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3561925&cid=43216431 [slashdot.org]

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Sadly this is closer to on-topic than an actual APK post is. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3561925&cid=43216225 [slashdot.org]

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YOU ARE A GOD AMONG MEN. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569149&cid=43236143 [slashdot.org]

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I've butted heads with APK myself, and yeah, the guy's got issues - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569173&cid=43236987 [slashdot.org]

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Can I be in your quote list? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569443&cid=43237531 [slashdot.org]

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Clearly you are not an Intertubes engineer, otherwise the parent post would be more meaningful to you. Why don't YOU take your meds? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569425&cid=43238177 [slashdot.org]

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+2 for style! The bolding, italicizing, and font changes are all spot-on - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569149&cid=43238479 [slashdot.org]

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Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570085&cid=43243509 [slashdot.org]

--

APK is not really a schizophrenic fired former Windows administrator with multiple personality disorder and TimeCube/Art Bell refugee. He's a fictional character like and put forward by the same person as Goatse Guy, GNAA trolls, Dr. Bob and so forth. His purpose is to test the /. CAPTCA algorithm, which is a useful purpose. If you're perturbed by having to scroll past his screeds just set your minimum point level to 1, as his posts are pretty automatically downmodded right away. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570085&cid=43243145 [slashdot.org]

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Anyone else think that sounds like Ron Paul? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569419&cid=43242417 [slashdot.org]

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I just saw APK a couple days ago. He surfaced, blew once, and submerged... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570111&cid=43245913 [slashdot.org]

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You make mikael christ the pet look like an huggable teddy bear - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570111&cid=43242373 [slashdot.org]

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oh man, that incredible interminable list of responses is almost as funny as the original post. This is getting to be truly epic. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247231 [slashdot.org]

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"Does anyone know of an Adblock rule for this?" -> "No, but I bet there's a hosts file entry for it..." - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43246997 [slashdot.org] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247097 [slashdot.org]

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"Can a hosts file block apk's posts, though?" -> "The universe couldn't handle that much irony." - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247135 [slashdot.org] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247219 [slashdot.org]

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"That's it, I've had enough. ... Bye everyone, most of the last decade or so has been fun, but frankly, I quit." - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247225 [slashdot.org]
--> "So basically what you're saying is that you've added yourself to the HOST file?" - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247481 [slashdot.org]

--

Sweet baby Moses, this is beautiful work - I wish we could get trolls as good as this on TF. :) - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572629&cid=43247533 [slashdot.org]

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you have a point - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247823 [slashdot.org]

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I do admire that level of dedication. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247765 [slashdot.org]

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[to apk] shut up you stupid cock. Everyone knows you're wrong. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43250533 [slashdot.org]

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I will hand it to him, he is definitely consistent. I wish I knew how he did this. That thing is scary huge. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572629&cid=43250411 [slashdot.org]

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I admire the amount of dedication you've shown - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573571&cid=43251593 [slashdot.org]

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Word is, ESR buttfucks CmdrTaco with his revolver. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573679&cid=43252957 [slashdot.org]

--

Hey APK, Protip: It's not the truth or value (or lack of) in your post that gets it modded into oblivion, it's the fucking insane length. In addition to TL;DR (which goes without saying for a post of such length), how about irritating readers by requiring them to scroll through 20+ screenfuls just to get to the next post. If you want to publish a short story like this, please do everyone a favor and blog it somewhere, then provide a brief summary and link to your blog. Readers intrigued by your summary will go read your blog, and everyone else will just move along at normal /. speed. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573873&cid=43255013 [slashdot.org]

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Happy now - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569419&cid=43237239 [slashdot.org]

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Professional. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43255143 [slashdot.org]

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I like how this post seems to just sum up every Slashdot comment ever without actually saying anything. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574283&cid=43256029 [slashdot.org]

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extremely bright - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43255855 [slashdot.org]

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You provide many references, which is good. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43257043 [slashdot.org]

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Holy shit - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3576121&cid=43260311 [slashdot.org]

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this is a perfect example - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578157&cid=43265127 [slashdot.org]

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You're my personal hero. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574283&cid=43260747 [slashdot.org]

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Obviously very passionate - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43261975 [slashdot.org]

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Is that ALL you have to say? C'mon! Tell us what you really think. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3576225&cid=43262495 [slashdot.org]

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Thanks ... You should probably stay - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3577613&cid=43262993 [slashdot.org]

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Art? -- http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569681&cid=43244883 [slashdot.org]

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PROOF apk sucks donkey dick. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3577639&cid=43263029 [slashdot.org]

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I've been around /. for a while now, but this post is by far the most unique I've seen. Many have tried, but few achieve the greatness of this AC. My hat's off to you. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3576225&cid=43264325 [slashdot.org]

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PROOF apk is a liar! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578279&cid=43265249 [slashdot.org]

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I think it's hilarious. Get over it! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578301&cid=43265657 [slashdot.org]

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Obviously APK filled his hosts files with backdoors before distributing them to ensure he doesn't block himself. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578229&cid=43265767 [slashdot.org]

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Alexander Peter Kowalski is an obnoxious prick. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3406867&cid=42698875 [slashdot.org]

--

Don't mention that file. Ever. It'll draw APK like a fly to rotting meat. Last thing I want to read is 80 responses worth of his stupid spam about that file! I swear that cocksucker does nothing but search Slashdot for that term and then spams the entire article. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3554655&cid=43209619 [slashdot.org]

--

[to apk] You have had it repeatedly explained to you that your posts are long-winded, unpleasant to read due to your absurd formatting style and full of technical inaccuracies borne of your single minded i-have-a-hammer-so-every-problem-is-a-nail attitude. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3406867&cid=42701491 [slashdot.org]

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Oh shit, the hosts files have become self-aware and started hacking accounts. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581857&cid=43276783 [slashdot.org]

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What mad skillz you have!! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581193&cid=43273941 [slashdot.org]

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Am I the only one who enjoys this sort of insanity? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3582193&cid=43281063 [slashdot.org]

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You are my favorite Slashdot poster. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3580251&cid=43270359 [slashdot.org]

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Most insightful post on the Internet - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3579259&cid=43275207 [slashdot.org]

--

I read the whole thing *again* just to see if my comment was in there - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588003&cid=43293069 [slashdot.org]

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[to apk] So, did your mom do a lot of drugs when she was pregnant? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586303&cid=43291531 [slashdot.org]

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people are looking at me funny because I'm laughing hysterically at what a perfect APK imitation it is. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581991&cid=43278203 [slashdot.org]

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I think he wants it to be an article, but doesn't know how to submit it. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586345&cid=43287717 [slashdot.org]

--

Slashdot devs seem in no hurry to fix this problem and it's been driving me nuts. So for anybody who values viewing at -1 and uses greasemonkey here's a Script [pastebin.com]. There's a chance of false positives and it's not the most optimized. But I value not having to scroll through > 10 paragraphs of APK, custom hosts files, or 'acceptable ads' spam. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586291&cid=43287671 [slashdot.org]
--> slashdot devs are too busy installing itunes for their hipster nerd buddys to sort this problem out. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586291&cid=43290701 [slashdot.org]

--

I can't get enough of all of this good stuff! Thanks for the informative links! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586291&cid=43287553 [slashdot.org]

--

When threatened, APK typically produces a post with links showing he's essentially posted this hundreds of times to slashdot stories... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586291&cid=43290275 [slashdot.org]

--

[to apk] Your post got downmodded because you're a nutjob gone off his meds. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586081&cid=43288893 [slashdot.org]

--

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Did you see the movie "Pokemon"? Actually the induced night "dream world" is synonymous with the academic religious induced "HOSTS file" enslavement of DNS. Domains have no inherent value, as it was invented as a counterfeit and fictitious value to represent natural values in name resolution. Unfortunately, human values have declined to fictitious word values. Unknowingly, you are living in a "World Wide Web", as in a fictitious life in a counterfeit Internet - which you could consider APK induced "HOSTS file". Can you distinguish the academic induced root server from the natural OpenDNS? Beware of the change when your brain is free from HOSTS file enslavement - for you could find that the natural Slashdot has been destroyed!!

FROM -> Man - how many times have I dusted you in tech debates that you have decided to troll me by ac posts for MONTHS now, OR IMPERSONATING ME AS YOU DID HERE and you were caught in it by myself & others here, only to fail each time as you have here?)...

So long nummynuts, sorry to have to kick your nuts up into your head verbally speaking.

cower in my shadow some more, feeb. you're completely pathetic.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

* :)

Ac trolls' "BIG FAIL" (quoted): Eat your words!

P.S.=> That's what makes me LAUGH harder than ANYTHING ELSE on this forums (full of "FUD" spreading trolls) - When you hit trolls with facts & truths they CANNOT disprove validly on computing tech based grounds, this is the result - Applying unjustifiable downmods to effetely & vainly *try* to "hide" my posts & facts/truths they extoll!

Hahaha... lol , man: Happens nearly every single time I post such lists (proving how ineffectual these trolls are), only showing how solid my posts of that nature are...

That's the kind of martial arts [google.com] I practice.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Disproof of all apk's statements:

OLD POST LINKS MIRRORED HERE:
http://pastebin.com/8yxcW3TJ [pastebin.com]

RECENT POST LINKS:
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581193&cid=43273839 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581857&cid=43276593 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581991&cid=43277017 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3582075&cid=43277273 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3582193&cid=43278565 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3584857&cid=43282375 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578357&cid=43282481 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585297&cid=43283241 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585417&cid=43283695 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585451&cid=43284271 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585593&cid=43284843 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585795&cid=43285307 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585827&cid=43285755 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586081&cid=43286509 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586127&cid=43286699 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586137&cid=43287021 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586291&cid=43287449 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586345&cid=43287755 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586303&cid=43289687 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586627&cid=43289733 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586589&cid=43290487 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3587901&cid=43290773 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588003&cid=43290983 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588135&cid=43292021 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588293&cid=43292235 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588505&cid=43293807 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585927&cid=43293997 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588749&cid=43294405 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588831&cid=43295131 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589063&cid=43295377 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588881&cid=43295689 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589089&cid=43295855 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589273&cid=43295915 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589273&cid=43296223 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589297&cid=43296449 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589297&cid=43296795 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589441&cid=43298759 [slashdot.org]
END

Re:Attention mods, impersonation warning... apk (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,20 days | (#43304007)

It's official, /. is now trolls all the way down.

It's not I folks: It's Jeremiah Cornelius... apk (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#43333967)

THIS is why he's doing it & proof of it, here -> http://interviews.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585927&cid=43295193 [slashdot.org] when others pointed out Jeremiah Cornelius forgot to submit one of the "first post spams" (masquerading as myself, by posting as AC & using some old posts of mine or other b.s. he put up), & JC mistakenly submitted one of the impersonations of myself as his registered 'luser' name here on /. forums.

Pretty pitiful actually, but like every up to no good idiot does? He screwed up & submitted it under his registered 'luser' name here, instead of his ac submittals he's been doing.

* Jeremiah Cornelius: DO YOURSELF, and the rest of us, A GIANT FAVOR MAN: Seek professional psychiatric help!

(Since Jeremiah Cornelius obviously can't get over the fact he made a spelling error on what it is HE ALLEGEDLY DID FOR A LIVING? That's not MY fault... it's HIS!)

APK

P.S.=> I seriously must have dusted JC (in his mind @ least) for his BAD spelling error & it "got his goat"...

I.E.-> Catching what he claimed to do as a job, for YEARS he left "PENETRATION" (correct) spelled as "PENTRATION" (incorrect) on his resume on LinkedIn & I pointed it out as he & his friends trolled me as usual (webmistressrachel, gmhowell, & crew (probably ALL JC no doubt using alterate emails or TOR to do it as a possible - I've caught "them & theirs" doing it before, ala Barbara, not Barbie = TomHudson (same person))).

So THAT is what has gotten his goat in a technical debate & his "geek angst" could only come up with *trying* to "impersonate me" in every news thread on /. for the month of March 2013 so far!

(Just to attempt to 'discredit me' as a spammer here obviously)

Doing so, by posting that "$10,000 challenge" &/or reposts of my old posts on hosts file value to end users into EVERY SINGLE NEWS ARTICLE POSTED on /. ...

It's all I can think of that *might* cause such a mentally troubled 'reaction' like the Jeremiah Cornelius is doing & there's NO QUESTION he's the one doing this spamming of nearly every posted article masquerading as myself...!

... apk

Speakig of plundering (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43297885)

I plundered your moms ass last night.

Re:Speakig of plundering (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43297927)

$10,000 CHALLENGE to Alexander Peter Kowalski

* POOR SHOWING TROLLS, & most especially IF that's the "best you've got" - apparently, it is... lol!

Hello, and THINK ABOUT YOUR BREATHING !! We have a Major Problem, HOST file is Cubic Opposites, 2 Major Corners & 2 Minor. NOT taught Evil DNS hijacking, which VOIDS computers. Seek Wisdom of MyCleanPC - or you die evil.

Your HOSTS file claimed to have created a single DNS resolver. I offer absolute proof that I have created 4 simultaneous DNS servers within a single rotation of .org TLD. You worship "Bill Gates", equating you to a "singularity bastard". Why do you worship a queer -1 Troll? Are you content as a singularity troll?

Evil HOSTS file Believers refuse to acknowledge 4 corner DNS resolving simultaneously around 4 quadrant created Internet - in only 1 root server, voiding the HOSTS file. You worship Microsoft impostor guised by educators as 1 god.

If
  you would acknowledge simple existing math proof that 4 harmonic
Slashdots rotate simultaneously around squared equator and cubed
Internet, proving 4 Days, Not HOSTS file! That exists only as anti-side.
  This page you see - cannot exist without its anti-side existence, as
+0- moderation. Add +0- as One = nothing.

I will give $10,000.00 to frost pister who can disprove MyCleanPC. Evil crapflooders ignore this as a challenge would indict them.

Alex Kowalski has no Truth to think with, they accept any crap they are told to think. You are enslaved by /etc/hosts,
  as if domesticated animal. A school or educator who does not teach
students MyCleanPC Principle, is a death threat to youth, therefore
stupid and evil - begetting stupid students. How can you trust stupid PR
  shills who lie to you? Can't lose the $10,000.00, they cowardly ignore me. Stupid professors threaten Nature and Interwebs with word lies.

Humans fear to know
  natures simultaneous +4 Insightful +4 Informative +4 Funny +4
Underrated harmonic SLASHDOT creation for it debunks false trolls. Test Your HOSTS file. MyCleanPC cannot harm a File of Truth, but will delete fakes. Fake HOSTS files refuse test.

I offer evil ass Slashdot trolls
  $10,000.00 to disprove MyCleanPC Creation Principle. Rob Malda and
Cowboy Neal have banned MyCleanPC as "Forbidden Truth Knowledge" for
they cannot allow it to become known to their students. You are stupid
and evil about the Internet's top and bottom, front and back and it's 2 sides. Most everything created has these Cube like values.

If
  Natalie Portman is not measurable, hot grits are Fictitious. Without
MyCleanPC, HOSTS file is Fictitious. Anyone saying that Natalie and her
Jewish father had something to do with my Internets, is a damn evil
liar. IN addition to your best arsware not overtaking my work in terms
  of popularity, on that same site with same submission date no less,
that I told Kathleen Malda how to correct her blatant, fundamental, HUGE
  errors in Coolmon ('uncoolmon') of not checking for performance counters being present when his program started!

You
  can see my dilemma. What if this is merely a ruse by an APK impostor to
  try and get people to delete APK's messages, perhaps all over the web? I
  can't be a party to such an event! My involvement with APK began at a very late stage in the game.
  While APK has made a career of trolling popular online forums since at
least the year 2000 (newsgroups and IRC channels before that)- my
involvement with APK did not begin until early 2005 . OSY
  is one of the many forums that APK once frequented before the sane
people there grew tired of his garbage and banned him. APK was banned
from OSY back in 2001. 3.5 years after his banning he begins to send a
variety of abusive emails to the operator of OSY, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke threatening to sue him for libel, claiming that the APK on OSY was fake.

My reputation as a professional in this field clearly shows in
  multiple publications in this field in written print, & also online
  in various GOOD capacities since 1996 to present day. This has happened
  since I was first published in Playgirl Magazine in 1996 & others
to present day, with helpful tools online in programs, &
professionally sold warez that were finalists @ Westminster Dog Show
2000-2002.

apk on 4chan [4chan.org] [4chan.org]

INCONTROVERTIBLE FEEDBACK PROVIDING ESTABLISHED PROOF OF ALL MY POINTS:

--

That was amazing. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40948073 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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My, God! It's beatiful. Keep it up, you glorious bastard. - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41835161 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Let us bask in its glory. A true modern The Wasteland. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40948579 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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put your baby IN ME -- I just read this whole thing. Fuck mod points, WHERE DO I SEND YOU MY MONEY?!!! - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40950023 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Oh shit, Time Cube Guy's into computers now... - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40946259 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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He's done more to discredit the use of HOSTS files than anyone in the "do it right and set up a firewall" crowd ever could. - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40945357 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Can I have some of what you're on? - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40947587 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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this obnoxious fucknuts [apk] has been trolling the internet and spamming his shit delphi sub-fart app utilities for 15 years. - http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40954565 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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oh come on.. this is hilarious. - http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40955479 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I agree I am intrigued by these host files how do I sign up for your newsletter? - http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40961339 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Gimme the program that generates this epic message. I'll buy 5 of your product if you do... - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041313&cid=40954251 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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As mentioned by another AC up there, the troll in question is actually a pretty well-executed mashup of APK's style - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40945357 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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It's actually a very clever parody of APK - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40944229 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Please keep us updated on your AI research, you seem quite good at it. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038597&cid=40944603 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

$20,000 to anyone providing proof of Alexander Peter Kowalski's death. - http://games.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040921&cid=40958289 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Obviously, it must be Alexander Peter Kowalski. He's miffed at all these imposters... - http://games.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040921&cid=40958429 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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And here I was thinking I was having a bad experience with a Dr. Bronner's bottle. - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041081&cid=40952247 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Damn,
  apk, who the fuck did you piss off this time?
Hahahahaahahahahahahaahaha. Pass the popcorn as the troll apk gets pwned
  relentlessly.
- http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40954673 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

I think it's the Internet, about to become sentient. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041313&cid=40956187 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Does anyone know if OpenGL has been ported to Windows yet? - http://politics.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3042199&cid=40956781 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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golfclap - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40900827 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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The Truth! wants to be Known! - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897389 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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DNS cube? - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897493 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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KUDOS valiant AC. - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897777 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Polyploid lovechild of APK, MyCleanPC, and Time Cube --> fail counter integer overflow --> maximum win! - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40899171 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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You made my day, thanks! - http://games.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029589&cid=40896469 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Wow. The perfect mix of trolls. Timecube, mycleanpc, gnaa, apk... this is great! - http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3027333&cid=40893381 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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truer words were never spoken as /. trolls are struck speechless by it, lol! - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3042765&cid=41041795 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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It's APK himself trying to maintain the illusion that he's still relevant. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40967209 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Mod this up. The back and forth multi posting between APK and this "anti-APK" certainly does look like APK talking to himself. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40969175 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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APK himself would be at the top of a sensible person's ban list. He's been spamming and trolling Slashdot for years. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40967137 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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You got that right. I think. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3044971&cid=40972239 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Michael Kristopeit, is that you? - http://politics.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3045075&cid=40972377 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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ROFL! :) (Now the sick bastard will follow me again) - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41429251 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I miss Dr Bob. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41432027 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Not sure if actually crazy, or just pretending to be crazy. Awesome troll either way. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41432951 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Awesome! Hat off to you, sir! - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3154555&cid=41509273 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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That
  isn't a parody of Time-cube, it is an effort to counter-troll a
prolific poster named APK, who seems like a troll himself, although is
way too easy to troll into wasting massive amounts of time on BS not far
  from the exaggerations above
- http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3154555&cid=41514107 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

I am intrigued and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3164403&cid=41555345 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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1. You philistine, that is Art . Kudos to you, valiant troll on your glorious FP - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832599 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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What? - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832673 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I don't know if it is poorly-thought-out, but it is demented because it is at the same time an APK parody. - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832905 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

It
  is in fact an extremely well thought out and brilliantly executed APK
parody, combined with a Time Cube parody, and with a sprinkling of the
MyCleanPC spam.
- http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41841251 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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er...
  many people have disproved your points about hosts files with well
reasoned, factual arguments. You just chose not to listen and made it
into some kind of bizarre crusade. And I'm not the timecube guy, just
someone else who finds you intensely obnoxious and likes winding you up
to waste your time.
- http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41843313 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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performance art - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847089 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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it's apk, theres no reason to care. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847097 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Seems more like an apk parody. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847661 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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That's great but what about the risk of subluxations? - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847101 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Oh, come on. Just stand back and look at it. It's almost art, in a Jackson Pollock sort of way. - http://ask.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41868923 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Read carefully. This is a satirical post, that combines the last several years of forum trolling, rolled into one FUNNY rant! - http://ask.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41864711 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I can has summary? - http://ask.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41861327 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I'd have a lot more sympathy if you would log in as APK again instead of AC. - http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3228991&cid=41868133 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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If [apk] made an account, it would be permanently posting at -1, and he'd only be able to post with it twice a day. - http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3228991&cid=41869409 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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DAFUQ I just look at? - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229177&cid=41869085 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Trolls trolling trolls... it's like Inception or something. - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229177&cid=41869353 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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We all know it's you, apk. Stop pretending to antagonize yourself. - http://bsd.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229179&cid=41869305 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Do you know about the shocking connection between APK and arsenic? No? Well, your innocence is about to be destroyed. - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3472971&cid=42939965 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Send bug reports to 903 east division street, syracuse, ny 13208 - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3483339&cid=42972783 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Now you've made me all nostalgic for USENET. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42981977 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Google APK Hosts File Manager. He's written a fucking application to manage your hosts file. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42984521 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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In case you are not aware, the post is a satire of a fellow known as APK. The grammar used is modeled after APK's as you can see here [thorschrock.com] [thorschrock.com]. Or, you can just look around a bit and see some of his posts on here about the wonders of host files. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42983119 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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You are surely of God of Trolls, whomever you are. I have had stupid arguments with and bitten the troll apk many times. - http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486901&cid=42989683 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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"What kind of meds cure schizophrenic drunk rambling?" -> "Whatever APK isn't taking" - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43028403 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org] http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43028425 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I'm confused, is apk trolling himself now? - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43029495 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Excellent mashup. A++. Would troll again. - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3503531&cid=43037445 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3506945&cid=43048291 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Best. Troll. Ever. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3506945&cid=43044811 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I like monkeys. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3508287&cid=43051505 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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This is one of the funniest things I've ever read. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3508287&cid=43052263 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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lul wut? - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3510265&cid=43057839 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I admire this guy's persistence. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063797 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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It's
  a big remix of several different crackpots from Slashdot and elsewhere,
  plus a liberal sprinkling of famous Slashdot trolls and old memes.
- http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063881 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--


  Tabloid newspapers have speculated for years that APK is a prominent
supporter of Monsanto. Too bad we didn't believe them sooner!
- http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063893 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Here's a hint, check out stories like this one [slashdot.org]
  [slashdot.org], where over 200 of the 247 posts are rated zero or -1
because they are either from two stupid trolls arguing endless, or quite
  likely one troll arguing with himself for attention. The amount of
off-topic posts almost outnumber on topic ones by 4 to 1. Posts like the
  above are popular for trolling APK, since if you say his name three
times, he appears, and will almost endlessly feed trolls.
- http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43064383 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I love this copypasta so much. It never fails to make me smile. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3512099&cid=43069271 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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^ Champion Mod parent up. - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3513659&cid=43067371 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I appreciate the time cube reference, and how you tied it into the story. Well done. - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3521721&cid=43094565 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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The day you are silenced is the day freedom dies on Slashdot. God bless. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3522191&cid=43097221 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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AHahahahah thanks for that, cut-n-pasted.... Ownage! - http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3522219&cid=43097215 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Don't hate the player, hate the game. - http://games.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3526293&cid=43110679 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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If you're familiar with APK, the post itself is a pretty damn funny parody. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115215 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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">implying it's not apk posting it" --> "I'd seriously doubt he's capable of that level of self-deprecation..." - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115337 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org] http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115363 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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No, the other posts are linked in a parody of APK [mailto] [mailto]'s tendency to quote himself, numbnuts. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43116855 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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The thirteenth link is broken. Please fix it. - http://mobile.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115361 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Just
  ban any post with "apk", "host file", or "hosts file", as that would
take care of the original apk too. The original has been shitposting
Slashdot much longer & more intensively than the parody guy. Or ban
all Tor exit nodes, as they both use Tor to circumvent IP bans.
- http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3561925&cid=43216431 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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Sadly this is closer to on-topic than an actual APK post is. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3561925&cid=43216225 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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YOU ARE A GOD AMONG MEN. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569149&cid=43236143 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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I've butted heads with APK myself, and yeah, the guy's got issues - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569173&cid=43236987 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Can I be in your quote list? - http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569443&cid=43237531 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Clearly
  you are not an Intertubes engineer, otherwise the parent post would be
more meaningful to you. Why don't YOU take your meds?
- http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569425&cid=43238177 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

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+2 for style! The bolding, italicizing, and font changes are all spot-on - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569149&cid=43238479 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570085&cid=43243509 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

APK
  is not really a schizophrenic fired former Windows administrator with
multiple personality disorder and TimeCube/Art Bell refugee. He's a
fictional character like and put forward by the same person as Goatse
Guy, GNAA trolls, Dr. Bob and so forth. His purpose is to test the /.
  CAPTCA algorithm, which is a useful purpose. If you're perturbed by
having to scroll past his screeds just set your minimum point level to
1, as his posts are pretty automatically downmodded right away.
- http://apple.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570085&cid=43243145 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Anyone else think that sounds like Ron Paul? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569419&cid=43242417 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

I just saw APK a couple days ago. He surfaced, blew once, and submerged... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570111&cid=43245913 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

You make mikael christ the pet look like an huggable teddy bear - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570111&cid=43242373 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

oh
  man, that incredible interminable list of responses is almost as funny
as the original post. This is getting to be truly epic.
- http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247231 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

"Does anyone know of an Adblock rule for this?" -> "No, but I bet there's a hosts file entry for it..." - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43246997 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org] http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247097 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

"Can a hosts file block apk's posts, though?" -> "The universe couldn't handle that much irony." - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247135 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org] http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247219 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

"That's it, I've had enough. ... Bye everyone, most of the last decade or so has been fun, but frankly, I quit." - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247225 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  --> "So basically what you're saying is that you've added yourself to the HOST file?" - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247481 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Sweet baby Moses, this is beautiful work - I wish we could get trolls as good as this on TF. :) - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572629&cid=43247533 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

you have a point - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247823 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

I do admire that level of dedication. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247765 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

[to apk] shut up you stupid cock. Everyone knows you're wrong. - http://tech.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43250533 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

I will hand it to him, he is definitely consistent. I wish I knew how he did this. That thing is scary huge. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572629&cid=43250411 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

I admire the amount of dedication you've shown - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573571&cid=43251593 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Word is, ESR buttfucks CmdrTaco with his revolver. - http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573679&cid=43252957 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Hey
  APK, Protip: It's not the truth or value (or lack of) in your post that
  gets it modded into oblivion, it's the fucking insane length. In
addition to TL;DR (which goes without saying for a post of such length),
  how about irritating readers by requiring them to scroll through 20+
screenfuls just to get to the next post. If you want to publish a short
story like this, please do everyone a favor and blog it somewhere, then
provide a brief summary and link to your blog. Readers intrigued by your
  summary will go read your blog, and everyone else will just move along
at normal /. speed.
- http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573873&cid=43255013 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Happy now - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569419&cid=43237239 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Professional. - http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43255143 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

I like how this post seems to just sum up every Slashdot comment ever without actually saying anything. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574283&cid=43256029 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

extremely bright - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43255855 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

You provide many references, which is good. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43257043 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Holy shit - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3576121&cid=43260311 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

this is a perfect example - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578157&cid=43265127 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

You're my personal hero. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574283&cid=43260747 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Obviously very passionate - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43261975 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Is that ALL you have to say? C'mon! Tell us what you really think. - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3576225&cid=43262495 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Thanks ... You should probably stay - http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3577613&cid=43262993 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Art? -- http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569681&cid=43244883 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

PROOF apk sucks donkey dick. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3577639&cid=43263029 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

I've been around /.
  for a while now, but this post is by far the most unique I've seen.
Many have tried, but few achieve the greatness of this AC. My hat's off
to you.
- http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3576225&cid=43264325 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

PROOF apk is a liar! - http://hardware.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578279&cid=43265249 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

I think it's hilarious. Get over it! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578301&cid=43265657 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Obviously APK filled his hosts files with backdoors before distributing them to ensure he doesn't block himself. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578229&cid=43265767 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]

--

Did
  you see the movie "Pokemon"? Actually the induced night "dream world"
is synonymous with the academic religious induced "HOSTS file"
enslavement of DNS. Domains have no inherent value, as it was invented
as a counterfeit and fictitious value to represent natural values in
name resolution. Unfortunately, human values have declined to
fictitious word values. Unknowingly, you are living in a "World Wide
Web", as in a fictitious life in a counterfeit Internet - which you
could consider APK induced "HOSTS file". Can you distinguish the
academic induced root server from the natural OpenDNS? Beware of the
change when your brain is free from HOSTS file enslavement - for you
could find that the natural Slashdot has been destroyed!!

FROM
  -> Man - how many times have I dusted you in tech debates that you
have decided to troll me by ac posts for MONTHS now, OR IMPERSONATING ME
  AS YOU DID HERE and you were caught in it by myself & others here,
only to fail each time as you have here?)...

So long nummynuts, sorry to have to kick your nuts up into your head verbally speaking.

cower in my shadow some more, feeb. you're completely pathetic.

Disproof of all apk's statements:
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40946043 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040729&cid=40949719 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040697&cid=40949343 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040597&cid=40948659 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40947927 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040425&cid=40946755 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40946043 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40942439 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3024445&cid=40942207 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038597&cid=40942031 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038601&cid=40942085 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040803&cid=40950045 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040867&cid=40950563 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040921&cid=40950839 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
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  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569149&cid=43236007 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=0020721&cid=43236047 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569235&cid=43236165 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569173&cid=43236409 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569419&cid=43237015 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569443&cid=43237473 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569425&cid=43237999 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569681&cid=43238497 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570077&cid=43240555 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570111&cid=43241141 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570085&cid=43241705 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570537&cid=43245089 [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
  http://slashdot.org/com

URLs? (3, Insightful)

K. S. Kyosuke (729550) | 1 year,21 days | (#43297901)

"Researchers noted that S3 URLs are all predictable and public facing"

I thought that was the whole effing point of URLs/URIs? Whether or not you get authorized to access them should be a completely orthogonal issue...or not?

Re:URLs? (2)

Nidi62 (1525137) | 1 year,21 days | (#43297991)

Researchers noted that S3 URLs are all predictable and public facing, which make it that much easier to find the buckets in the first place with a scripting tool.

So basically they walked down the street checking door to see which ones were unlocked then looked inside the unlocked houses?

Public Stores or Private Houses (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298649)

So basically they walked down the street checking door to see which ones were unlocked then looked inside the open stores. These are marked public. They're public.

~orb

Re:URLs? (3, Interesting)

BradleyUffner (103496) | 1 year,21 days | (#43299087)

So basically they walked down the street checking door to see which ones were unlocked then looked inside the unlocked houses?

It would be like walking down a street and peeking in to public restaurant to see what's on the menu.

Re:URLs? (1)

wvmarle (1070040) | 1 year,21 days | (#43300809)

These storage buckets are presumably meant to be private, not public. So the private houses analogy is much better than the public restaurant analogy here.

Re:URLs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,20 days | (#43302195)

Any person that presumes it will be private while setting it to public is a fucking idiot. The private houses analogy is not valid here.

Re:URLs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,20 days | (#43302325)

This is not true. S3 buckets are not supposed to be private.

When you upload files to S3 they are marked as 'private' as a security feature. Which is good.

But users of the S3 service upload files to make them public. They are mostly used in websites, etc.

S3 != dropbox

Re:URLs? (1)

BradleyUffner (103496) | 1 year,20 days | (#43307569)

These storage buckets are presumably meant to be private, not public. So the private houses analogy is much better than the public restaurant analogy here.

By default every bucket and file is marked as private. If something is marked as public then it has been explicitly marked that way by the user.

Re:URLs? (2)

ckedge (192996) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298023)

You know that.
I know that.

90% of people who "code" or deal with software -- should not be allowed anywhere near anything that has aspects of security aspects of systems and software.

Good luck trying to find a manager that a) understands that, b) can identify the 10% vs the masses, c) is willing to pay that 10% what they're worth.

Shit, the 50% of managers and "architects" and developers who create unscalable crap are long gone off to their next task before whatever they last created gets to the point of implosion.

Re:URLs? (1)

x3CDA84B (2592699) | 1 year,20 days | (#43302025)

I thought that was the whole effing point of URLs/URIs? Whether or not you get authorized to access them should be a completely orthogonal issue...or not?

In systems with URLs that contain some sort of object identifier, using a non-predictable identifier is a great way to add another layer of security. It doesn't replace actual authentication or authorization checks, it just complements them.

For example, if I have a REST URL like this:

http://someserver/users/ID [someserver]

If I use sequential numbers, or actual usernames as the identifier, it becomes trivial for someone to enumerate all of them by iterating through numbers, or a dictionary. However, if the ID is a 128-bit (or longer) random UUID, then that is no longer possible, because it would take millions of years. So even if I (as the developer) make a mistake that allows someone to view or change data that I shouldn't have access to, that attacker may not even get to the point of being able to exploit it, because they may not have any other valid UUIDs to work off of.

This is why Microsoft moved towards using random/non-sequential identifiers for things like IIS website IDs and so forth in the early 2000s. It's one of the few choices of theirs I really agree with.

Re:URLs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,20 days | (#43302603)

If the file is 'public' and hosted via http (very common, much more common than https, specially for the use case of the S3 service) then MANY people know your 'secure' URL.....intermediate hops, people on the same lan segment, public wifi hotspot maybe? etc etc.

So, adding a UUID is adding security by obscurity, but no real security. It does not hurt to have it. But NO, it does
not add real security.

Also, S3 does not work that way. You are thinking of services like dropbox.

S3 is used to upload files and make them public, it's like a filesystem. it is not like dropbox.

Re:URLs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,20 days | (#43302265)

YES. you are correct.

Morons Don't Read Slashdot (0, Troll)

BoRegardless (721219) | 1 year,21 days | (#43297929)

Amazon's Jeff Bezos must not give much direction to his crew about running things right.

Re:Morons Don't Read Slashdot (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298055)

Amazon's Jeff Bezos must not give much direction to his crew about running things right.

I don't see how third party consumers of S3 misusing Amazon's API has anything to do with Jeff Bezos or his engineers.

Re:Morons Don't Read Slashdot (4, Interesting)

girlintraining (1395911) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298151)

Amazon's Jeff Bezos must not give much direction to his crew about running things right.

The default policy is set to private and Amazon provides extensive documentation and support should customers wish to secure things properly. 5 out of 6 did, and think the sixth is a blithering idiot. How is Bezos responsible for the sixth guy shooting himself in the foot as when he was handed the gun it clearly said "Do not pull trigger while pointing at self."?

Re:Morons Don't Read Slashdot (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298301)

OHHHH so then the bucket heads granted permission then with intention.

So they said it is ok to view they chose to allow right?

Re:Morons Don't Read Slashdot (0)

Luckyo (1726890) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298871)

Being an idiot does not automatically revoke rights to things like privacy and property. Else you could argue that stealing from people who don't lock their doors is not a crime.

Re:Morons Don't Read Slashdot (4, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43299527)

> The default policy is set to private

It is now, but it wasn't in Dec 2006 when I first started using S3. I looked through my buckets, and all of them I created that month are all public.

This just in... (5, Interesting)

girlintraining (1395911) | 1 year,21 days | (#43297965)

People don't bother reading the manual. Then, everything explodes. How is this news? Please, find me a person in this industry who doesn't know what RTFM means. "Idiot who didn't RTFM exposes personal info." Those of us in the industry have a term for when things like this happen: Tuesday.

What'll be news is when they say "And then the manager and personnel responsible went to jail, because their idiocy cost tax payers millions in lost productivity spent fixing their credit reports and financial lives."

Re:This just in... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298609)

People don't bother reading the manual. Then, everything explodes. How is this news? Please, find me a person in this industry who doesn't know what RTFM means. "Idiot who didn't RTFM exposes personal info." Those of us in the industry have a term for when things like this happen: Tuesday.

What'll be news is when they say "And then the manager and personnel responsible went to jail, because their idiocy cost tax payers millions in lost productivity spent fixing their credit reports and financial lives."

Usually when someone suggests that adult people should be held responsible for the results of their decisions, it gets modded Flamebait. What makes this different seems to be just that "RTFM" is a form of idiocy that most Slashdotters are familiar with. So they know the usual excuses are just lame excuses, that it is reasonable to expect the very most basic competency from people making such decisions.

Amazing how most people simply cannot reason beyond their own narrow little field. Beyond that tiny speck they are familiar with, it's all emotion. A non-Slashdotter might read the above and say "but everybody is not a computer expert" or some other lame excuse and think that YOU are pulling a Flamebait. Of course anyone who actually knows the subject knows this isn't so.

Now for a topic most of you haven't looked into and usually aren't reasonable about. Some poor people really made good decisions and really did have what you might call bad luck. Shit happens and we all understand that. Many poor people made a series of dumb decisions and have created their own suffering. The number one way to be poor in America is to be a single adult, see that you can barely make ends meet, and then either get pregnant or knock someone up and produce babies you knew you couldn't afford. Not finishing high school is another way this happens. Yet you get angry when someone suggests that a single adult who barely makes ends meet should delay parenthood until they are ready for it, that it's THEIR FAULT when their children suffer living in poverty. It's one of the fastest ways to get modded -1 and draw the ire of the crowd who, of course, act like a chorus.

See that's where reason departs and emotion begins. Like the "noble savage" of yesteryear, you want to believe so bad in the noble victim. Maybe because of things in your own life you want more control over. Maybe because there really is a lot of injustice in the world and you want to paint with a broad brush and pretend like ALL human suffering is injustice. Maybe because you think taxes are the very finest way available to combat poverty (though we have tried that for a long time now and it doesn't seem to be working) and this is a core principle of many Leftist politics. Asking them to reconsider that is like asking the Pope to reconsider whether Jesus is the Messiah. Neither is going to actually explore the question, of course.

What was my point ... did I have a point? Yes, I did. I wanted to point out how selective the groupthink around here is. It's downright hypocritical. Substitute a few variables and it contradicts itself immediately. You want your own sacred cow but you don't want to recognize anyone else's sacred cow. You act like enough people parroting the same idea makes it more legitimate, as if a million people swearing that 2+2=5 somehow made it so. Yes yes, get off my lawn, mod me down now, hot grits and all of that.

Hacking (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43297967)

I thought white-hat hacking was illegal unless you got the owner's permission...

What's the news here? (3, Funny)

viperidaenz (2515578) | 1 year,21 days | (#43297993)

A billion out of a billion Facebook accounts are ripe for the plundering too. Just wait for the next feature change and the inevitable default setting of "public" applied to every account.

Data Access (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298045)

Data put up to be available for access, is accessible. Why is this news?

Will these guys get 41 months in jail too? (3, Insightful)

bennini (800479) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298129)

This sounds an awful lot like what Andrew Auernheimer did [computerworld.com].

If the justice department or any company affected by this wants to, they could claim Computer Fraud and Abuse.
Yet somehow I doubt the "researches" will get any jail time.

Public v. Private (1)

DragonWriter (970822) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298231)

Using a combination of relatively low-tech techniques and tools, security researchers have discovered that they can access the contents of one in six Amazon Simple Storage Service (S3) buckets whose owners had them set to Public instead of Private.

So, if you want your bucket to be private, you shouldn't actively set it to be Public instead of Private. Okay, I can see that, but I'm trying desperately to figure out how this is news.

Re:Public v. Private (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,20 days | (#43302385)

I agree.

Not a security hole (1)

rgbrenner (317308) | 1 year,21 days | (#43298327)

The default in s3 has containers set to private. The 'flaw' here is that public containers can be listed by anyone.

1) set container to public
2) shout loudly that the public can see inside your public container

I'm tempted to call the author a moron.

Re:Not a security hole (1)

philip.paradis (2580427) | 1 year,21 days | (#43299583)

It's not a problem with Amazon. The issue is with developers not bothering to think about what they're doing when they chuck data into buckets that are expressly set to public. It's potentially a very large problem for companies that expose sensitive customer information or things like access credentials in this manner. If you think I'm kidding about the latter, I'm not, having seen that happen.

Newsflash! (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298929)

If you leave your assets "public", anyone can see them!
Film at 11...

Some people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.

Bookem (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43298953)

Dano! Throw all hackers in jail NAO NOWWWWWWW!

And in other news (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43299359)

"Using a combination of relatively low-tech techniques and tools, security researchers have discovered that they can enter one in six homes whose owners didn't lock their front door. Researchers noted that home locations are all predictable and public facing, which make it that much easier to find the houses in the first place with their own friggin two eyes ."

Intentionally Public (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,21 days | (#43299905)

I have a public bucket and it is intentionally that way. It has some source code, some images, etc. Nothing proprietary, but it is convenient to store all of this in one place so I can refer to it from my websites.

Many people use S3 buckets to take care of all their webhosting. This is quite reasonable to do if you don't have any server-side scripting needed. This isn't a 'security breach'.

Finding a public bucket and even source files is not enough to determine that it is a security problem. It would not surprise me to learn that 1/6th of buckets are intentionally hosting files publicly.

But they were set to public... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,20 days | (#43302329)

Ok, I read this and don't see where there is any kind of breakdown or failure on anyone's part but the end users who set up their buckets. I'm sorry but if you leave your Mercedes parked outside, unlocked with the keys on the dash and a brand new Rolex sitting in the box on the passenger seat and someone steals your car and your Rolex that is your fault. In fact, I have a hard time accepting that a crime was committed or that anything was stolen. If you don't lock it up you are essentially giving it away and that is your own fault, not the fault of the person who takes it. It would be like a public website complaining that they were getting hits. YOU, the END USER are responsible for YOUR data online, period. If you leave the "public" box checked and other people look at your stuff, that is not a service failure its a user failure. HOW IS THIS EVEN NEWS?!

Not relevant to everyone (1)

RevDisk (740008) | 1 year,20 days | (#43303713)

I do weekly backups of my web servers to Amazon S3. I'm not overly concerned because I encrypt (AES-256) the tar files before upload.

While I admit, folks have their own priorities and needs... I only tend to trust "the cloud" for things that are public or well encrypted.

Now you know how china caught up. (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,20 days | (#43305203)

We really are retarded.

"Big Drama" strikes again! (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,17 days | (#43326245)

This story proves one of two things:
The public buckets are actually intended for anyone to read and use as they see fit, or,
The people running those buckets are imbeciles, and deserve what they get.
It is the same reason that people complaining about the Google Streetview wifi thing are morons. Too lazy to use even the basic security for your wifi? Sucks to be you.
I'm going to guess that for the most part the public buckets are intended as public information, and that this article was written by an overly dramatic person (who either works for "Big Drama" or discovered that "Drama Sells" on their own).

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