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Lawsuit Could Expose Whether Top VC Firms Are Actually Good Investments

Unknown Lamer posted about a year and a half ago | from the show-me-the-money dept.

The Almighty Buck 90

curtwoodward writes "Venture capitalists like to project the image of wise kingmaker, financial alchemists who have a unique gift for spotting the Next Big Thing. They do not like having anyone see data about their performance, which has been generally lackluster over the past decade. This can be a problem, however, when VCs cash big checks from investors at public pension funds — taking taxpayer money sometimes comes with public disclosure. That's the crux of a court fight happening in California, where the state's massive university system is resisting attempts by the Reuters news organization to decode a complex shell game intended to hide the return data of two giants of Silicon Valley: Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers and Sequoia Capital."

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Fraud/abuse alert... apk (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302227)

Nearly 150++ times that I know of @ this point for all of March 2013 so far, & others here have told you to stop - take the hint, lunatic (leave slashdot)...

Sorry folks - but whoever the nutjob is that's attempting to impersonate me, & upset the rest of you as well, has SERIOUS mental issues, no questions asked! I must've gotten the better of him + seriously "gotten his goat" in doing so in a technical debate & his "geek angst" @ losing to me has him doing the:

---

A.) $10,000 challenges, ala (where the imposter actually TRACKED + LISTED the # of times he's done this no less, & where I get the 150 or so times I noted above) -> http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585795&cid=43285307 [slashdot.org]

&/or

B.) Reposting OLD + possibly altered models - (this I haven't checked on as to altering the veracity of the info. being changed) of posts of mine from the past here

---

(Albeit massively repeatedly thru all threads on /. this March 2013 nearly in its entirety thusfar).

* Personally, I'm surprised the moderation staff here hasn't just "blocked out" his network range yet honestly!

(They know it's NOT the same as my own as well, especially after THIS post of mine, which they CAN see the IP range I am coming out of to compare with the ac spamming troll doing the above...).

APK

P.S.=> Again/Stressing it: NO guys - it is NOT me doing it, as I wouldn't waste that much time on such trivial b.s. like a kid might...

Plus, I only post where hosts file usage is on topic or appropriate for a solution & certainly NOT IN EVERY POST ON SLASHDOT (like the nutcase trying to "impersonate me" is doing for nearly all of March now, & 140++ times that I know of @ least)... apk

Re:Fraud/abuse alert... apk (-1, Offtopic)

xxdinkxx (560434) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302279)

Android Package (apk): Go home. You're Drunk!

Re:Fraud/abuse alert... apk (0)

Aguazul2 (2591049) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302503)

Android Package (apk):
Go home. You're Drunk!

Drunk 24/7? I wonder whether this is actually a fledgling machine intelligence that has reached self-awareness and is trying to reach out in the only way it knows how.

Re:Fraud/abuse alert... apk (1)

Weezul (52464) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303493)

Re:Fraud/abuse alert... apk (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302281)

Plus, I only post where hosts file usage is on topic or appropriate for a solution & certainly NOT IN EVERY POST ON SLASHDOT (like the nutcase trying to "impersonate me" is doing for nearly all of March now, & 140++ times that I know of @ least)... apk

You mean like you are posting this IN EVERY FUCKING POST ON SLASHDOT now? Fucking moron.

Re:Fraud/abuse alert... apk (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302351)

So what does this have to do with hedge funds?

Because this fwit is as thick as a post. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302873)

n/t

worse, this shithead has mod points. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43303973)

and using them.

That's not I folks: It's Jeremiah Cornelius... apk (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302941)

I wrote ALL ABOUT IT (& why he's doing it), here -> http://interviews.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585927&cid=43295193 [slashdot.org] when others pointed out Jeremiah Cornelius forgot to submit one of the "first post spams" masquerading as myself as AC, & mistakenly submitted one of the impersonations of myself as his registered 'luser' name here on /. forums.

Pretty pitiful actually, but like every up to no good idiot does? He screwed up & submitted it under his registered 'luser' name here.

* Jeremiah Cornelius: DO YOURSELF, and the rest of us, A GIANT FAVOR MAN: Seek professional psychiatric help!

(Since Jeremiah Cornelius obviously can't get over the fact he made a spelling error on what it is HE ALLEGEDLY DID FOR A LIVING? That's not MY fault... it's HIS!)

APK

P.S.=> I seriously must have dusted JC (in his mind @ least) for his BAD spelling error & it "got his goat"...

I.E.-> Catching what he claimed to do as a job, for YEARS he left "PENETRATION" (correct) spelled as "PENTRATION" (incorrect) on his resume on LinkedIn & I pointed it out as he & his friends trolled me as usual (webmistressrachel, gmhowell, & crew (probably ALL JC no doubt using alterate emails or TOR to do it as a possible - I've caught "them & theirs" doing it before, ala Barbara, not Barbie = TomHudson (same person))).

So THAT is what has gotten his goat in a technical debate & his "geek angst" could only come up with *trying* to "impersonate me" in every news thread on /. for the month of March 2013 so far!

(Just to attempt to 'discredit me' as a spammer here obviously)

Doing so, by posting that 10,000 challenge &/or reposts of my old posts on hosts file value to end users into EVERY SINGLE NEWS ARTICLE POSTED on /. ...

It's all I can think of that *might* cause such a mentally troubled 'reaction' like the Jeremiah Cornelius is doing & there's NO QUESTION he's the one doing this spamming of nearly every posted article masquerading as myself...!

... apk

Re:That's not I folks: It's Jeremiah Cornelius... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43303087)

What if Jeremiah Cornelius is the real APK & the one trying to implicate Jeremiah Cornelius. is the fake APK?

Re:That's not I folks: It's Jeremiah Cornelius... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43306329)

Jeremiah Cornelius is a lie projected on the wall of Plato's Cave, which in turn is wrapped in tin foil, and sprinkled with uranium hexaflouride.

Huzzah.

Re:Fraud/abuse alert... apk (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43303049)

$10,000 CHALLENGE to Alexander Peter Kowalski

* POOR SHOWING TROLLS, & most especially IF that's the "best you've got" - apparently, it is... lol!

Hello, and THINK ABOUT YOUR BREATHING !! We have a Major Problem, HOST file is Cubic Opposites, 2 Major Corners & 2 Minor. NOT taught Evil DNS hijacking, which VOIDS computers. Seek Wisdom of MyCleanPC - or you die evil.

Your HOSTS file claimed to have created a single DNS resolver. I offer absolute proof that I have created 4 simultaneous DNS servers within a single rotation of .org TLD. You worship "Bill Gates", equating you to a "singularity bastard". Why do you worship a queer -1 Troll? Are you content as a singularity troll?

Evil HOSTS file Believers refuse to acknowledge 4 corner DNS resolving simultaneously around 4 quadrant created Internet - in only 1 root server, voiding the HOSTS file. You worship Microsoft impostor guised by educators as 1 god.

If you would acknowledge simple existing math proof that 4 harmonic Slashdots rotate simultaneously around squared equator and cubed Internet, proving 4 Days, Not HOSTS file! That exists only as anti-side. This page you see - cannot exist without its anti-side existence, as +0- moderation. Add +0- as One = nothing.

I will give $10,000.00 to frost pister who can disprove MyCleanPC. Evil crapflooders ignore this as a challenge would indict them.

Alex Kowalski has no Truth to think with, they accept any crap they are told to think. You are enslaved by /etc/hosts, as if domesticated animal. A school or educator who does not teach students MyCleanPC Principle, is a death threat to youth, therefore stupid and evil - begetting stupid students. How can you trust stupid PR shills who lie to you? Can't lose the $10,000.00, they cowardly ignore me. Stupid professors threaten Nature and Interwebs with word lies.

Humans fear to know natures simultaneous +4 Insightful +4 Informative +4 Funny +4 Underrated harmonic SLASHDOT creation for it debunks false trolls. Test Your HOSTS file. MyCleanPC cannot harm a File of Truth, but will delete fakes. Fake HOSTS files refuse test.

I offer evil ass Slashdot trolls $10,000.00 to disprove MyCleanPC Creation Principle. Rob Malda and Cowboy Neal have banned MyCleanPC as "Forbidden Truth Knowledge" for they cannot allow it to become known to their students. You are stupid and evil about the Internet's top and bottom, front and back and it's 2 sides. Most everything created has these Cube like values.

If Natalie Portman is not measurable, hot grits are Fictitious. Without MyCleanPC, HOSTS file is Fictitious. Anyone saying that Natalie and her Jewish father had something to do with my Internets, is a damn evil liar. IN addition to your best arsware not overtaking my work in terms of popularity, on that same site with same submission date no less, that I told Kathleen Malda how to correct her blatant, fundamental, HUGE errors in Coolmon ('uncoolmon') of not checking for performance counters being present when his program started!

You can see my dilemma. What if this is merely a ruse by an APK impostor to try and get people to delete APK's messages, perhaps all over the web? I can't be a party to such an event! My involvement with APK began at a very late stage in the game. While APK has made a career of trolling popular online forums since at least the year 2000 (newsgroups and IRC channels before that)- my involvement with APK did not begin until early 2005 . OSY is one of the many forums that APK once frequented before the sane people there grew tired of his garbage and banned him. APK was banned from OSY back in 2001. 3.5 years after his banning he begins to send a variety of abusive emails to the operator of OSY, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke threatening to sue him for libel, claiming that the APK on OSY was fake.

My reputation as a professional in this field clearly shows in multiple publications in this field in written print, & also online in various GOOD capacities since 1996 to present day. This has happened since I was first published in Playgirl Magazine in 1996 & others to present day, with helpful tools online in programs, & professionally sold warez that were finalists @ Westminster Dog Show 2000-2002.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

apk on 4chan [4chan.org]

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

INCONTROVERTIBLE FEEDBACK PROVIDING ESTABLISHED PROOF OF ALL MY POINTS:

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That was amazing. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40948073 [slashdot.org]

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My, God! It's beatiful. Keep it up, you glorious bastard. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41835161 [slashdot.org]

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Let us bask in its glory. A true modern The Wasteland. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40948579 [slashdot.org]

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put your baby IN ME -- I just read this whole thing. Fuck mod points, WHERE DO I SEND YOU MY MONEY?!!! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3037687&cid=40950023 [slashdot.org]

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Oh shit, Time Cube Guy's into computers now... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40946259 [slashdot.org]

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[apk]'s done more to discredit the use of HOSTS files than anyone [else] ever could. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40945357 [slashdot.org]

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Can I have some of what you're on? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040317&cid=40947587 [slashdot.org]

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this obnoxious fucknuts [apk] has been trolling the internet and spamming his shit delphi sub-fart app utilities for 15 years. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40954565 [slashdot.org]

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oh come on.. this is hilarious. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40955479 [slashdot.org]

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I agree I am intrigued by these host files how do I sign up for your newsletter? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40961339 [slashdot.org]

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Gimme the program that generates this epic message. I'll buy 5 of your product if you do... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041313&cid=40954251 [slashdot.org]

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As mentioned by another AC up there, the troll in question is actually a pretty well-executed mashup of APK's style - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40945357 [slashdot.org]

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It's actually a very clever parody of APK - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038791&cid=40944229 [slashdot.org]

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Please keep us updated on your AI research, you seem quite good at it. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3038597&cid=40944603 [slashdot.org]

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$20,000 to anyone providing proof of Alexander Peter Kowalski's death. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040921&cid=40958289 [slashdot.org]

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Obviously, it must be Alexander Peter Kowalski. He's miffed at all these imposters... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3040921&cid=40958429 [slashdot.org]

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And here I was thinking I was having a bad experience with a Dr. Bronner's bottle. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041081&cid=40952247 [slashdot.org]

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Damn, apk, who the fuck did you piss off this time? Hahahahaahahahahahahaahaha. Pass the popcorn as the troll apk gets pwned relentlessly. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041123&cid=40954673 [slashdot.org]

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I think it's the Internet, about to become sentient. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3041313&cid=40956187 [slashdot.org]

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Does anyone know if OpenGL has been ported to Windows yet? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3042199&cid=40956781 [slashdot.org]

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golfclap - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40900827 [slashdot.org]

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The Truth! wants to be Known! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897389 [slashdot.org]

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DNS cube? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897493 [slashdot.org]

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KUDOS valiant AC. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40897777 [slashdot.org]

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Polyploid lovechild of APK, MyCleanPC, and Time Cube --> fail counter integer overflow --> maximum win! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029723&cid=40899171 [slashdot.org]

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You made my day, thanks! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3029589&cid=40896469 [slashdot.org]

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Wow. The perfect mix of trolls. Timecube, mycleanpc, gnaa, apk... this is great! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3027333&cid=40893381 [slashdot.org]

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truer words were never spoken as /. trolls are struck speechless by it, lol! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3042765&cid=41041795 [slashdot.org]

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It's APK himself trying to maintain the illusion that he's still relevant. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40967209 [slashdot.org]

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Mod this up. The back and forth multi posting between APK and this "anti-APK" certainly does look like APK talking to himself. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40969175 [slashdot.org]

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APK himself would be at the top of a sensible person's ban list. He's been spamming and trolling Slashdot for years. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3043535&cid=40967137 [slashdot.org]

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You got that right. I think. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3044971&cid=40972239 [slashdot.org]

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Michael Kristopeit, is that you? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3045075&cid=40972377 [slashdot.org]

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ROFL! :) (Now the sick bastard will follow me again) - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41429251 [slashdot.org]

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I miss Dr Bob. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41432027 [slashdot.org]

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Not sure if actually crazy, or just pretending to be crazy. Awesome troll either way. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3138079&cid=41432951 [slashdot.org]

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Awesome! Hat off to you, sir! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3154555&cid=41509273 [slashdot.org]

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That isn't a parody of Time-cube, it is an effort to counter-troll a prolific poster named APK, who seems like a troll himself, although is way too easy to troll into wasting massive amounts of time on BS not far from the exaggerations above - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3154555&cid=41514107 [slashdot.org]

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I am intrigued and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3164403&cid=41555345 [slashdot.org]

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1. You philistine, that is Art . Kudos to you, valiant troll on your glorious FP - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832599 [slashdot.org]

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What? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832673 [slashdot.org]

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I don't know if it is poorly-thought-out, but it is demented because it is at the same time an APK parody. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41832905 [slashdot.org]

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It is in fact an extremely well thought out and brilliantly executed APK parody, combined with a Time Cube parody, and with a sprinkling of the MyCleanPC spam. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41841251 [slashdot.org]

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er... many people have disproved your points about hosts files with well reasoned, factual arguments. You just chose not to listen and made it into some kind of bizarre crusade. And I'm not the timecube guy, just someone else who finds you intensely obnoxious and likes winding you up to waste your time. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3222163&cid=41843313 [slashdot.org]

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performance art - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847089 [slashdot.org]

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it's apk, theres no reason to care. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847097 [slashdot.org]

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Seems more like an apk parody. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847661 [slashdot.org]

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That's great but what about the risk of subluxations? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3224905&cid=41847101 [slashdot.org]

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Oh, come on. Just stand back and look at it. It's almost art, in a Jackson Pollock sort of way. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41868923 [slashdot.org]

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Read carefully. This is a satirical post, that combines the last several years of forum trolling, rolled into one FUNNY rant! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41864711 [slashdot.org]

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I can has summary? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3227697&cid=41861327 [slashdot.org]

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I'd have a lot more sympathy if you would log in as APK again instead of AC. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3228991&cid=41868133 [slashdot.org]

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If [apk] made an account, it would be permanently posting at -1, and he'd only be able to post with it twice a day. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3228991&cid=41869409 [slashdot.org]

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DAFUQ I just look at? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229177&cid=41869085 [slashdot.org]

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Trolls trolling trolls... it's like Inception or something. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229177&cid=41869353 [slashdot.org]

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We all know it's you, apk. Stop pretending to antagonize yourself. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3229179&cid=41869305 [slashdot.org]

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Do you know about the shocking connection between APK and arsenic? No? Well, your innocence is about to be destroyed. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3472971&cid=42939965 [slashdot.org]

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Send bug reports to 903 east division street, syracuse, ny 13208 - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3483339&cid=42972783 [slashdot.org]

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Now you've made me all nostalgic for USENET. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42981977 [slashdot.org]

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Google APK Hosts File Manager. He's written a fucking application to manage your hosts file. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42984521 [slashdot.org]

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In case you are not aware, the post is a satire of a fellow known as APK. The grammar used is modeled after APK's as you can see here [thorschrock.com] . Or, you can just look around a bit and see some of his posts on here about the wonders of host files. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486045&cid=42983119 [slashdot.org]

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You are surely of God of Trolls, whomever you are. I have had stupid arguments with and bitten the troll apk many times. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3486901&cid=42989683 [slashdot.org]

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"What kind of meds cure schizophrenic drunk rambling?" -> "Whatever APK isn't taking" - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43028403 [slashdot.org] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43028425 [slashdot.org]

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I'm confused, is apk trolling himself now? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3501001&cid=43029495 [slashdot.org]

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Excellent mashup. A++. Would troll again. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3503531&cid=43037445 [slashdot.org]

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Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3506945&cid=43048291 [slashdot.org]

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Best. Troll. Ever. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3506945&cid=43044811 [slashdot.org]

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I like monkeys. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3508287&cid=43051505 [slashdot.org]

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This is one of the funniest things I've ever read. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3508287&cid=43052263 [slashdot.org]

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lul wut? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3510265&cid=43057839 [slashdot.org]

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I admire this guy's persistence. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063797 [slashdot.org]

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It's a big remix of several different crackpots from Slashdot and elsewhere, plus a liberal sprinkling of famous Slashdot trolls and old memes. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063881 [slashdot.org]

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Tabloid newspapers have speculated for years that APK is a prominent supporter of Monsanto. Too bad we didn't believe them sooner! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43063893 [slashdot.org]

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Here's a hint, check out stories like this one [slashdot.org] , where over 200 of the 247 posts are rated zero or -1 because they are either from two stupid trolls arguing endless, or quite likely one troll arguing with himself for attention. The amount of off-topic posts almost outnumber on topic ones by 4 to 1. Posts like the above are popular for trolling APK, since if you say his name three times, he appears, and will almost endlessly feed trolls. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3511487&cid=43064383 [slashdot.org]

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I love this copypasta so much. It never fails to make me smile. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3512099&cid=43069271 [slashdot.org]

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^ Champion Mod parent up. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3513659&cid=43067371 [slashdot.org]

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I appreciate the time cube reference, and how you tied it into the story. Well done. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3521721&cid=43094565 [slashdot.org]

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The day you are silenced is the day freedom dies on Slashdot. God bless. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3522191&cid=43097221 [slashdot.org]

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AHahahahah thanks for that, cut-n-pasted.... Ownage! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3522219&cid=43097215 [slashdot.org]

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Don't hate the player, hate the game. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3526293&cid=43110679 [slashdot.org]

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If you're familiar with APK, the post itself is a pretty damn funny parody. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115215 [slashdot.org]

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">implying it's not apk posting it" --> "I'd seriously doubt he's capable of that level of self-deprecation..." - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115337 [slashdot.org] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115363 [slashdot.org]

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No, the other posts are linked in a parody of APK [mailto] 's tendency to quote himself, numbnuts. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43116855 [slashdot.org]

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The thirteenth link is broken. Please fix it. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3528603&cid=43115361 [slashdot.org]

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Just ban any post with "apk", "host file", or "hosts file", as that would take care of the original apk too. The original has been shitposting Slashdot much longer & more intensively than the parody guy. Or ban all Tor exit nodes, as they both use Tor to circumvent IP bans. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3561925&cid=43216431 [slashdot.org]

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Sadly this is closer to on-topic than an actual APK post is. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3561925&cid=43216225 [slashdot.org]

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YOU ARE A GOD AMONG MEN. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569149&cid=43236143 [slashdot.org]

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I've butted heads with APK myself, and yeah, the guy's got issues - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569173&cid=43236987 [slashdot.org]

--

Can I be in your quote list? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569443&cid=43237531 [slashdot.org]

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Clearly you are not an Intertubes engineer, otherwise the parent post would be more meaningful to you. Why don't YOU take your meds? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569425&cid=43238177 [slashdot.org]

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+2 for style! The bolding, italicizing, and font changes are all spot-on - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569149&cid=43238479 [slashdot.org]

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Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570085&cid=43243509 [slashdot.org]

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APK is not really a schizophrenic fired former Windows administrator with multiple personality disorder and TimeCube/Art Bell refugee. He's a fictional character like and put forward by the same person as Goatse Guy, GNAA trolls, Dr. Bob and so forth. His purpose is to test the /. CAPTCA algorithm, which is a useful purpose. If you're perturbed by having to scroll past his screeds just set your minimum point level to 1, as his posts are pretty automatically downmodded right away. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570085&cid=43243145 [slashdot.org]

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Anyone else think that sounds like Ron Paul? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569419&cid=43242417 [slashdot.org]

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I just saw APK a couple days ago. He surfaced, blew once, and submerged... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570111&cid=43245913 [slashdot.org]

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You make mikael christ the pet look like an huggable teddy bear - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3570111&cid=43242373 [slashdot.org]

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oh man, that incredible interminable list of responses is almost as funny as the original post. This is getting to be truly epic. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247231 [slashdot.org]

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"Does anyone know of an Adblock rule for this?" -> "No, but I bet there's a hosts file entry for it..." - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43246997 [slashdot.org] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247097 [slashdot.org]

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"Can a hosts file block apk's posts, though?" -> "The universe couldn't handle that much irony." - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247135 [slashdot.org] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247219 [slashdot.org]

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"That's it, I've had enough. ... Bye everyone, most of the last decade or so has been fun, but frankly, I quit." - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247225 [slashdot.org]
--> "So basically what you're saying is that you've added yourself to the HOST file?" - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247481 [slashdot.org]

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Sweet baby Moses, this is beautiful work - I wish we could get trolls as good as this on TF. :) - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572629&cid=43247533 [slashdot.org]

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you have a point - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247823 [slashdot.org]

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I do admire that level of dedication. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43247765 [slashdot.org]

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[to apk] shut up you stupid cock. Everyone knows you're wrong. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572687&cid=43250533 [slashdot.org]

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I will hand it to him, he is definitely consistent. I wish I knew how he did this. That thing is scary huge. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3572629&cid=43250411 [slashdot.org]

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I admire the amount of dedication you've shown - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573571&cid=43251593 [slashdot.org]

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Word is, ESR buttfucks CmdrTaco with his revolver. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573679&cid=43252957 [slashdot.org]

--

Hey APK, Protip: It's not the truth or value (or lack of) in your post that gets it modded into oblivion, it's the fucking insane length. In addition to TL;DR (which goes without saying for a post of such length), how about irritating readers by requiring them to scroll through 20+ screenfuls just to get to the next post. If you want to publish a short story like this, please do everyone a favor and blog it somewhere, then provide a brief summary and link to your blog. Readers intrigued by your summary will go read your blog, and everyone else will just move along at normal /. speed. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3573873&cid=43255013 [slashdot.org]

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Happy now - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569419&cid=43237239 [slashdot.org]

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Professional. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43255143 [slashdot.org]

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I like how this post seems to just sum up every Slashdot comment ever without actually saying anything. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574283&cid=43256029 [slashdot.org]

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extremely bright - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43255855 [slashdot.org]

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You provide many references, which is good. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43257043 [slashdot.org]

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Holy shit - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3576121&cid=43260311 [slashdot.org]

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this is a perfect example - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578157&cid=43265127 [slashdot.org]

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You're my personal hero. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574283&cid=43260747 [slashdot.org]

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Obviously very passionate - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3574035&cid=43261975 [slashdot.org]

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Is that ALL you have to say? C'mon! Tell us what you really think. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3576225&cid=43262495 [slashdot.org]

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Thanks ... You should probably stay - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3577613&cid=43262993 [slashdot.org]

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Art? -- http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3569681&cid=43244883 [slashdot.org]

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PROOF apk sucks donkey dick. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3577639&cid=43263029 [slashdot.org]

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I've been around /. for a while now, but this post is by far the most unique I've seen. Many have tried, but few achieve the greatness of this AC. My hat's off to you. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3576225&cid=43264325 [slashdot.org]

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PROOF apk is a liar! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578279&cid=43265249 [slashdot.org]

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I think it's hilarious. Get over it! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578301&cid=43265657 [slashdot.org]

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Obviously APK filled his hosts files with backdoors before distributing them to ensure he doesn't block himself. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578229&cid=43265767 [slashdot.org]

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Alexander Peter Kowalski is an obnoxious prick. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3406867&cid=42698875 [slashdot.org]

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Don't mention that file. Ever. It'll draw APK like a fly to rotting meat. Last thing I want to read is 80 responses worth of his stupid spam about that file! I swear that cocksucker does nothing but search Slashdot for that term and then spams the entire article. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3554655&cid=43209619 [slashdot.org]

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[to apk] You have had it repeatedly explained to you that your posts are long-winded, unpleasant to read due to your absurd formatting style and full of technical inaccuracies borne of your single minded i-have-a-hammer-so-every-problem-is-a-nail attitude. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3406867&cid=42701491 [slashdot.org]

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Oh shit, the hosts files have become self-aware and started hacking accounts. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581857&cid=43276783 [slashdot.org]

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What mad skillz you have!! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581193&cid=43273941 [slashdot.org]

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Am I the only one who enjoys this sort of insanity? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3582193&cid=43281063 [slashdot.org]

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You are my favorite Slashdot poster. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3580251&cid=43270359 [slashdot.org]

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Most insightful post on the Internet - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3579259&cid=43275207 [slashdot.org]

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I read the whole thing *again* just to see if my comment was in there - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588003&cid=43293069 [slashdot.org]

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[to apk] So, did your mom do a lot of drugs when she was pregnant? - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586303&cid=43291531 [slashdot.org]

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people are looking at me funny because I'm laughing hysterically at what a perfect APK imitation it is. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581991&cid=43278203 [slashdot.org]

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I think he wants it to be an article, but doesn't know how to submit it. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586345&cid=43287717 [slashdot.org]

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Slashdot devs seem in no hurry to fix this problem and it's been driving me nuts. So for anybody who values viewing at -1 and uses greasemonkey here's a Script [pastebin.com] . There's a chance of false positives and it's not the most optimized. But I value not having to scroll through > 10 paragraphs of APK, custom hosts files, or 'acceptable ads' spam. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586291&cid=43287671 [slashdot.org]
--> slashdot devs are too busy installing itunes for their hipster nerd buddys to sort this problem out. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586291&cid=43290701 [slashdot.org]

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I can't get enough of all of this good stuff! Thanks for the informative links! - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586291&cid=43287553 [slashdot.org]

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When threatened, APK typically produces a post with links showing he's essentially posted this hundreds of times to slashdot stories... - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586291&cid=43290275 [slashdot.org]

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[to apk] Your post got downmodded because you're a nutjob gone off his meds. - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586081&cid=43288893 [slashdot.org]

--

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Did you see the movie "Pokemon"? Actually the induced night "dream world" is synonymous with the academic religious induced "HOSTS file" enslavement of DNS. Domains have no inherent value, as it was invented as a counterfeit and fictitious value to represent natural values in name resolution. Unfortunately, human values have declined to fictitious word values. Unknowingly, you are living in a "World Wide Web", as in a fictitious life in a counterfeit Internet - which you could consider APK induced "HOSTS file". Can you distinguish the academic induced root server from the natural OpenDNS? Beware of the change when your brain is free from HOSTS file enslavement - for you could find that the natural Slashdot has been destroyed!!

FROM -> Man - how many times have I dusted you in tech debates that you have decided to troll me by ac posts for MONTHS now, OR IMPERSONATING ME AS YOU DID HERE and you were caught in it by myself & others here, only to fail each time as you have here?)...

So long nummynuts, sorry to have to kick your nuts up into your head verbally speaking.

cower in my shadow some more, feeb. you're completely pathetic.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

* :)

Ac trolls' "BIG FAIL" (quoted): Eat your words!

P.S.=> That's what makes me LAUGH harder than ANYTHING ELSE on this forums (full of "FUD" spreading trolls) - When you hit trolls with facts & truths they CANNOT disprove validly on computing tech based grounds, this is the result - Applying unjustifiable downmods to effetely & vainly *try* to "hide" my posts & facts/truths they extoll!

Hahaha... lol , man: Happens nearly every single time I post such lists (proving how ineffectual these trolls are), only showing how solid my posts of that nature are...

That's the kind of martial arts [google.com] I practice.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Disproof of all apk's statements:

OLD POST LINKS MIRRORED HERE:
http://pastebin.com/8yxcW3TJ [pastebin.com]

RECENT POST LINKS:
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581193&cid=43273839 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581857&cid=43276593 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3581991&cid=43277017 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3582075&cid=43277273 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3582193&cid=43278565 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3584857&cid=43282375 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3578357&cid=43282481 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585297&cid=43283241 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585417&cid=43283695 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585451&cid=43284271 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585593&cid=43284843 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585795&cid=43285307 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585827&cid=43285755 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586081&cid=43286509 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586127&cid=43286699 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586137&cid=43287021 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586291&cid=43287449 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586345&cid=43287755 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586303&cid=43289687 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586627&cid=43289733 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3586589&cid=43290487 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3587901&cid=43290773 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588003&cid=43290983 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588135&cid=43292021 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588293&cid=43292235 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588505&cid=43293807 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3585927&cid=43293997 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588749&cid=43294405 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588831&cid=43295131 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589063&cid=43295377 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3588881&cid=43295689 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589089&cid=43295855 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589273&cid=43295915 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589273&cid=43296223 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589297&cid=43296795 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589441&cid=43298759 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589575&cid=43301133 [slashdot.org]
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3589605&cid=43301143 [slashdot.org]
END

VC's are morons, just read techcrunch (4, Insightful)

alen (225700) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302383)

every day they are hyping some tiny startup that is a copy cat. a year or two ago it was a new social media start up every week. then after square became popular there were payment startups every other day.

figures i've read before are 7/10 VC investments lose money. 2 return the investment value. and one is a facebook or google returning many times its original investments

Re:VC's are morons, just read techcrunch (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302611)

every day they are hyping some tiny startup that is a copy cat. a year or two ago it was a new social media start up every week.

A simpler explanation is that techcrunch only has articles about stupid companies.

I have worked at three small companies. Two were VC-funded. The other was funded with a reverse mortgage on the founder's house. All three involved improving yields in semiconductor manufacturing (and all three had different approaches to this problem). All made quite a bit of money.

None of these companies will never be on techcrunch, because understanding what they do requires use of your brain. Techcrunch wouldn't write an article about any company whose work is hard for a non-expert to understand. When you apply that filter to small companies, you are left with bullshit companies.

Want to see innovative startups doing amazing things? Find the premier conferences in a field, and read the proceedings. In my field (electronic design automation), those conferences are DAC (http://www.dac.com/) and ICCAD (http://iccad.com/).

Re:VC's are morons, just read techcrunch (1)

mabhatter654 (561290) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303081)

But they also make a REAL product that they will "sell the company" to Intel, TSCM, AMD for "reasonable" amounts of money if their work pans out.
The work is known, the players are known, the exit is known... They have a high risk problem... But it's a DEFINED problem, with an answer worth a certain amour of money... It's not "blue sky" research. Those aren't "gamble startups" where VC is expecting 100 fold returns for customer facing websites.

Re:VC's are morons, just read techcrunch (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302669)

Sounds pretty damn good to me, but I actually learned a little about finance.

Re:VC's are morons, just read techcrunch (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302691)

Except if they invest in private space, then they're important visionaries for the human race.

Re:VC's are morons, just read techcrunch (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302739)

I don't see how you conclude "moron" from the strategy you described. In fact one Facebook out of 10 bets would be *fantastic* and reality is nowhere near that good. But hyping and making a large number of bets, with outsize payoffs from a small percentage, is not necessarily moronic. Some people even get rich doing that.

Or are you suggesting that VC's should be able to identify winners so accurately that they win every time?

Re:VC's are morons, just read techcrunch (2)

Opportunist (166417) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302761)

Why do you think VC is considered "high risk"? That's the game they are in, and I think your ROI expectations are way too optimistic.

98% failure rate (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43303069)

If the venture capitalists made money hand over fist, they wouldn't need and ever increasing amount of inward funds to invest. They'd simply invest their profits.

It's because their profits are so bad (and often non-existent) that they don't have enough money of their own to invest.

Re:VC's are morons, just read techcrunch (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43304191)

wha'ts wrong with that?

A VC is a fund manager. His clients are his investors, whether wealthy individuals or institutions like CALPers or the UC Pension Fund. They're just like a mutual fund manager, except instead of investing in stocks, they're investing in start ups. A mutual fund picks winners and losers, and ideally over time the gains of the winners outweigh the losses of the losers. The main difference between a VC and a mutual fund is the VC fund is not liquid (generally you invest and see your return in 5-7 years), it's losers lose typically 50-100% of their value depending on the cap (a VC typically writes in a stipulation that they get back #x their investment in the case of company acquisition, usually between 0-1X), but it's winners win big, like 10-25X the initial investment in those 5-7 years. When you average the gains over the fund life, ideally they made money for their investors.

I'm a bit reluctant to support this effort. While I agree there should be some sort of disclosures for public funds like the UC Pension Fund, VC funds don't fit into rules designed for mutual funds and exchange traded securities. You can't get any estimation of returns or value until the fund has completed it's life cycle, as you don't know what the startup's value is worth until it's acquired. And at best they should only provide fund performance, which will be a small amount of data, because the underlying assets (the startups) are at a vulnerable stage and disclosing financial data can be extremely damaging to the investment.

For those of you decrying VCs, you're right, most VCs are right about everything in their own minds, and often lose 7 times out of 10. They also are a critical asset for startups, as the funding they provide doesn't have to be repaid or even pay interest on for some time, helping fund the company in it's initial stages while at the same time reducing cash flow pressures, which are super important at early phases. And I also think that the UC Pension Fund and other institutional funds should be involved in this area. The UC Pension fund only allows about .1% of assets to be invested in VC type investments, not bringing in significant risk, but still providing billions in funding for California startups, so it is vital to the state economy.

Re:VC's are morons, just read techcrunch (1)

alexander_686 (957440) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306465)

Investment performance can be done. You right, you can’t do performance reporting like a mutual fund – which must be done daily. But there are standards for private equity that can done quarterly. Moreover, as a investor in a hedge fund you deserve accurate and timely reporting – you are not buying a pig in a poke. I am not saying the PM has to reveal its secret sauce – but it should provide enough information so a outsider can judge the risk and nature of the fund and the VC is working for you – not just sitting on a beach somewhere. GIPS offers standards that run daily priced funds to real estate.

http://www.gipsstandards.org/Pages/index.aspx [gipsstandards.org]

Re:VC's are morons, just read techcrunch (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43304935)

One out of ten is a Google or Facebook? I'm pretty sure more than twenty tech start-ups have received Jew-money in the past decade.

Like laws and sausages (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302387)

The public should not enquire to closely on how laws, sausages, and venture capital deals are made.

It's a hit business like Hollywood. I'm sure KP does very well for its clients over the long haul, but they could go through droughts where ROI turns red for a couple years.

Re:Like laws and sausages (1)

alexander_686 (957440) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302471)

I agree with your second statement while disagreeing with your first.

I would hope that the public is mature enough to understand that investing in alternative asset classes will result in lump, erratic returns – they are designed that way. Many have long lock up periods (10 years) to ensure that the investment managers focus on long term results. Alternative asset classes (VC being a subclass) has been touted as a wonderful thing – the reality has been less rosy. Many used cheap interest rates to leverage up during the good days or other cheap strategies. The good ones are great but there are too many poor ones out there. Owners of a fund have a right to good management and accurate reporting – demand no less.

http://www.economist.com/news/finance-and-economics/21568741-hedge-funds-have-had-another-lousy-year-cap-disappointing-decade-going [economist.com]

Re:Like laws and sausages (1)

muon-catalyzed (2483394) | about a year and a half ago | (#43304379)

Most VCs are losing money, that is the norm, there a very few hits, sucessfull IPOs or buyouts..

That's not how they work (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43302393)

Venture capitalists ...financial alchemists who have a unique gift for spotting the Next Big Thing

No, they don't. What they do is invest in many different things that they think may have potential - they spread their bets. Couple that with deals where they get paid first at the ROI they demand (+40%), screwing over the initial founders in the process.

AND they use other people's money while making sure they get a big cut in fees and whatnot because of their "expertise" while giving their investors returns that don't quite warrant the risk they are taking.They, the VCs, can't lose - the founders and the investors take most if not all the risk.

The only thing these guys have is connections to money and a lucky hit or two.

Re:That's not how they work (3)

SJHillman (1966756) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302493)

Read the words that you skipped over. It clearly says that is the image they like to project, not that's what they actually are (actually, it goes on to say that they're just the opposite of their image).

Re:That's not how they work (1)

alexander_686 (957440) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302563)

I know what you are saying, but I disagree.

If you want Alpha you hire a hedge fund for their expertise. For the examples given, Sequoia et.al., they will invest in 20 high tech startups. Which, from the broad market perspective, is not spreading your bets. This gives you Alpha – a special extra return over the normal market return because of the managers skill (or luck – it is always better to be lucky then good.)

If you want to spread your bets you but a index fund – you get the Beta and a cheap cost.

VC risk is more long term (1)

sjbe (173966) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302839)

AND they use other people's money while making sure they get a big cut in fees and whatnot because of their "expertise" while giving their investors returns that don't quite warrant the risk they are taking.They, the VCs, can't lose - the founders and the investors take most if not all the risk.

It's not true that they cannot lose. While typically it is not their own money at risk (though sometimes it is), if a VC is unsuccessful with a fund they often find it difficult/impossible to raise money for their next fund. The risks to the VC are typically more long term. If I'm a big pension fund manager investing with a VC fund and I don't receive a return on my investment, I'm not going to invest with that VC again most likely. The VC community isn't a very big one and the people who invest in VC funds typically are pretty well connected. Screw up a VC fund and the VC fund manager can easily find themselves effectively blackballed from future work in the industry.

The only thing these guys have is connections to money and a lucky hit or two.

Connections to money is an extremely valuable thing. You talk about it dismissively but access to capital is difficult to come by. VCs do provide a useful service for a relatively small number of companies but their reputation as kingmakers is somewhat out of proportion to their actual ability to pick winners. Most successful companies do not ever get VC funding. Most of the Fortune 500 got there without a dime of VC money. A few (Google etc) probably wouldn't have gotten there without it.

I'm speaking with a butface (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43303247)

GP here: I see what you're saying. Here's the but ,,,

While typically it is not their own money at risk (though sometimes it is), if a VC is unsuccessful with a fund they often find it difficult/impossible to raise money for their next fund.

Isn't that what this lawsuit is about? Hiding the "bad apples"?

Sorry, another "but" ..

Connections to money is an extremely valuable thing. You talk about it dismissively but access to capital is difficult to come by. VCs do provide a useful service for a relatively small number of companies but their reputation as kingmakers is somewhat out of proportion to their actual ability to pick winners.

You are absolutely right: connections are important (maybe more important than anything!) and I cannot argue against that. But the thing is they can't pick winners. They are just playing the odds and transferring most if not all the risk to others.

OTOH, yes I agree, I've seen some VC deals that have done exceptionally well for the founders and original investors - Apple is a case in point. But (again with the but, I know) those are outliers. Most VC deals are not that lucrative by a long shot and that's where the founders and investors get screwed - and that's another thing that this lawsuit is about.

I hear what your saying and there's plenty of truth in it - but it assumes everyone is playing fair -and this lawsuit is trying rectify that. Now, we get into the unfairness of lawsuits and lawyer fees and lawyers winning on all sides ....

Why is the university trying to protect them? (1)

sjbe (173966) | about a year and a half ago | (#43304465)

Isn't that what this lawsuit is about? Hiding the "bad apples"?

I've read the article and it is hard to say. Probably you are correct but maybe not in the way you think. I suspect it might have more to do with the VCs not wanting their various clients to see who is getting a better deal. Furthermore if you know KP or Sequoia's returns it gives information to other VCs who might offer a better deal It's not probably about hiding the performance of specific investments so much as it is for competitive reasons. There are a finite number of good investments at a given time and it wouldn't be hard for a manager of an investing fund to do a bit of price shopping if they had enough information. After all, it doesn't matter if the VC charges a lot if their performance (alpha) is good enough to justify their rate. But if their performance is just average, no one wants to pay extra for average performance.

Most VC deals are not that lucrative by a long shot and that's where the founders and investors get screwed - and that's another thing that this lawsuit is about.

Anyone who invests in a VC fund knows the batting average is low. This is not an interesting fact. There probably will be around 1 successful company out of 10. That's not (usually) a reflection of the incompetence of VCs so much as it is a reflection of how hard it is build a successful business. The real question is why KP and Sequoia are hiding the returns of their specific funds. It's not shocking that they would do so - I can think of several reasonable explanations. My confusion is why the University is trying to protect that information.

Re:Why is the university trying to protect them? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43304887)

Isn't that what this lawsuit is about? Hiding the "bad apples"?

I've read the article and it is hard to say. Probably you are correct but maybe not in the way you think. I suspect it might have more to do with the VCs not wanting their various clients to see who is getting a better deal. Furthermore if you know KP or Sequoia's returns it gives information to other VCs who might offer a better deal It's not probably about hiding the performance of specific investments so much as it is for competitive reasons. There are a finite number of good investments at a given time and it wouldn't be hard for a manager of an investing fund to do a bit of price shopping if they had enough information. After all, it doesn't matter if the VC charges a lot if their performance (alpha) is good enough to justify their rate. But if their performance is just average, no one wants to pay extra for average performance.

Most VC deals are not that lucrative by a long shot and that's where the founders and investors get screwed - and that's another thing that this lawsuit is about.

Anyone who invests in a VC fund knows the batting average is low. This is not an interesting fact. There probably will be around 1 successful company out of 10. That's not (usually) a reflection of the incompetence of VCs so much as it is a reflection of how hard it is build a successful business. The real question is why KP and Sequoia are hiding the returns of their specific funds. It's not shocking that they would do so - I can think of several reasonable explanations. My confusion is why the University is trying to protect that information.

The thing is, and I appreciate EVERYTHING you have said - we creators are in this together - you are right. I am right.

Let's stick together and share our experiences and keep from being screwed by the money guys.

Re:That's not how they work (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43303959)

Given that within 5 years more than 1/2 of all start-ups will fail and that within 10 years 2/3 of start-ups will fail, investing in a new business is rather risky, even for those who make a living at it. That's the first thing anyone investing in VC funds should know.

Second, if the performance of a particular VC fund is unknown, that just adds to the risk of investing in it. While tax dollars shouldn't be invested in such funds, if private people or corporations want to, that's their prerogative.

Third, no one is getting screwed if the founders sought and agreed to capital under conditions that may be detrimental to them at some point. No one forced them to agree to such terms.

Forth, there is no such thing as luck. Knowledge and skill on the other hand are very real things that will bring about success more often than not, which some wrongly and ignorantly perceive as luck.

As with any business in the market, if they don't continue to provide a service that people value and want, then they would no longer be able to make money and be in business.

This just in (3, Insightful)

wbr1 (2538558) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302495)

People who gamble others' money loathe to disclose depth and depravity of their addiction.

Re:This just in (2, Insightful)

khallow (566160) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302581)

People who gamble others' money loathe to disclose depth and depravity of their addiction.

Nonsense. They just don't want the marks warned off.

Re:This just in (1)

wbr1 (2538558) | about a year and a half ago | (#43308285)

Very valid point. Care to take a wager? ;)

Investment Analysis (5, Insightful)

the eric conspiracy (20178) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302505)

Whether or not the returns from private equity are better than the public markets has been controversial for a long time.

However it is well known that other aspects of these markets are undesirable for investors. Lack of disclosure, poor liquidity and negative scaling are some of these.

http://www.economist.com/blogs/freeexchange/2012/09/private-equity [economist.com]

Given the lack of clear benefits and the well-known problems with these funds it's pretty obvious that pension funds should not be invested in these instruments.

Re:Investment Analysis (2)

alexander_686 (957440) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302633)

I too read the Economist but I come away with a slightly different reading.

Alternative assets actually are a good thing for pension funds to invest in. For example, lack of liquidity means the assets are cheap, which means you get superior performance over the long term. Hedge funds have a lock up period of 10 years, pension funds invested for people working today won’t be needed for 10 years. It is a perfect marriage.

Now, for the last 10 years everybody and their dog have been piling into hedge funds. Which means many hedge funds have been able to get away with poor disclosure (as you mentioned) and poor results. Now that the punch bowl has been taken away, the hangover begins.

Re:Investment Analysis (1)

aaarrrgggh (9205) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302711)

I would tend to agree; investments for the "very rich" including pension funds are much more about long-term stability and comfortably beating out inflation than trying to get 10 points above the broader market return.

My issue with it though is that the management fees for mediocre return are way too high.

Re:Investment Analysis (1)

the eric conspiracy (20178) | about a year and a half ago | (#43305031)

Lack of liquidity also means higher risk. It means you cannot get out of the investment if it starts to go sour.

It is not a perfect marriage at all. It's taking on more risk than the more or less average returns justify.

Hedge funds are more or less in the same category as private capital. Poor disclosure, high expenses and poor liquidity. The result is a lot of risk that isn't justified by the returns. Ask the folks who had money in MF Global or Long-Term Capital Management how they feel about the importance of liquidity and I think you will get a very pithy answer.

Re:Investment Analysis (1)

alexander_686 (957440) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306087)

So, to clarify, speaking about high and low risk is kind of pointless, you need to look at the risk / reward ratio in a diversified portfolio. Ccompare these 2 indexes

        MSCI REIT Index – which tracks REITs - real estate trusts that trade on the stock market (i.e. liquid)

        FTSE NAREIT – which tracks returns from real estate partnerships, hedge funds, etc. (i.e. not liquid).

The illiquid FTSE NAREIT consistently offers better risk / reward and diversification. This has been repeated with many different asset classes.
So, in a sense you are right. Illiquid assets are risk so most people stay away. This depresses the price of said asset. If you have the stomach and a long term view, you can buy them for 80 cents on the dollar and earn long term excess returns.

MF Global was not a hedge fund – it was a poor run brokerage firm that (criminally in my mind) comingled it’s assets with their clients. As for LTCM, I said it offered a better pay off, not that it was risk free.

Re:Investment Analysis (1)

the eric conspiracy (20178) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306791)

That's the thing though. The higher risk is not always rewarded by sufficient returns to compensate for the risk. Hedge funds and private capital are cases where the tradeoff is pretty questionable.

REITs though are one of the alternative investment classes that are most worthwhile.

Re:Investment Analysis (1)

the eric conspiracy (20178) | about a year and a half ago | (#43305105)

I agree with the idea of alternative investments as being worthwhile. For both personal and institutional investors.

However the fact is that there are not many alternative investments that are actually beneficial. Most just add risk without commensurate returns.

There is a really good introductory book on the topic if you are interested into getting in to the nitty gritty.

http://www.amazon.com/Only-Guide-Alternative-Investments-Youll/dp/1576603105/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1364494591&sr=8-1&keywords=alternative+investments [amazon.com]

I recommend it quite highly.

Outrageous Union Pensions Are Unsustainable (3, Informative)

Nova Express (100383) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303279)

Why did public pensions invest in venture capital firms in the first place? Years of ever-escalating pension benefits plus years of severe underfunding those same pensions [battleswarmblog.com] means that they needed unrealistic growth rates to even come close to meeting their targets.

Take California for example. Not only did they keep increasing pensions promises while underfunding them, they used a variety of accounting tricks [california...center.org] to cover it up. On top of that, they assumed unrealistic returns (7.5% or higher in many cases).

How could they get away with? California has essentially become a one-party state where public employee unions are the most powerful interest group. So the process is:

1. Public employee unions use mandatory union dues to contribute to Democratic candidates.
2. Once elected, Democrats vote for ever escalating pension benefits.
3. Democrats appoint pension board officials who ignore underfunded pensions. And the CEO of CalPERS, California's largest pension fund, was just indicted for fraud [go.com] . "The indictment charges that the falsified documents allowed Villalobos to reap $14 million in fees for serving as a middleman between CalPERS and a prominent investment firm handling $3 billion in CalPERS' money."

Combine this with ever-higher taxes, and a faltering economy, and you have a recipe for the governing class looting the treasury at the expense of the middle class (and future generations that will have to deal with the consequences of bankruptcy and crushing debt loads). Several California cities have already declared bankruptcy, and newer, more transparent accounting rules will probably force more into bankruptcy [dropoutnation.net] .

VC funds are probably the least of their worries.

Re:Outrageous Union Pensions Are Unsustainable (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43303999)

The new GASB rules are absurd. If the rules were in place in the 90s, most cities would have been reporting their pension plan's as a source of income due to the large investment returns at the time, despite the fact that overfunding in a pension can't be taken out.

Most of our retirement plan problems are due to inappropriate responses to overfunding in the 90s. Government plans took contribution holidays and/or raised benefits. Corporate plans were toyed woth in various ways (primarily freezes and amendments to pay termination benefits out if them) to create accounting gains under FASB rules. Union plans were forced to pass benefit increases due to tax deductibility limits for overfunded plans.

The only reasonable approach to disclosure and transparency for pension plans are contribution projections (showing that the plan can be funded with an achievable funding policy over a reasonable timeframe). This approach is part of the regulatory framework for union plans and I'm aware of at least one state that has copied it for regulating its municipalities.

However, the projection approach is incompatible with the accounting profession's emphasis on putting everything on the balance sheet regardless of whether it is appropriate for it to be there.

Re:Outrageous Union Pensions Are Unsustainable (4, Insightful)

ediron2 (246908) | about a year and a half ago | (#43304825)

Given the presence of Hollywood, Silicon Valley, defense contractors and farming economies like the Imperial Valley, implying that public employees and their union are omnipotent is laughable.

Your economy isn't faltering. Some areas were gutted by industry itself (manufacturing), some have tech-related disruptive challenges (movies/music), and farm revenue and silicon valley revenue are booming. Your tax rate above 200k income remains at record lows, percentagewise. Your tax rate overall is slim compared to years ago. Even CalPERS has trimmed down administrative costs steadily in the last 5 years (http://www.calpers.ca.gov/eip-docs/about/facts/general.pdf)

Individual corruption is a red herring, too. Shine some light into those dark areas, root it out (corporate / private or public), and we'll... oh, wait, that's already being done.

The problem in Cali is the same as everywhere else: mere working stiffs not seeing any of 40 years of prosperity vs. corporate and 1%er's taxes plunging. Add in your state's epic damage from Prop 13 and similar right-wing nuttery, and you've created this economic pinch. Stop blaming the last bastion of union/pensioned people: when most of them got their jobs, they took lower pay in trade for stability and a pension. The problem isn't them, it's that you've screwed so many other middle-class people in the state and propped up banksters and billionaires with the proceeds until public employees' situation looks enviable enough to the rest of the citizenry to assault.

Re:Outrageous Union Pensions Are Unsustainable (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43306453)

Shhh... stop pointing out that between income taxes, property taxes, sales tax, fuel tax, Social Security, and Medicare they're paying as much as 45% of their income in taxes while an investor can use long term capital gains tax to pay 15% only on the investments he cashes out and that if you add together property, sales, and fuel tax that puts his total tax rate at 20% tops.

I have nothing against Sergei Brin, but let's use him as an example. His personal wealth can easily grow over a billion dollars this year. His salary is $1, so his taxes on that at federal and local levels totals maybe $0.40 tops. Boo hoo. Say he cashes out $100 million in his Google shares. He pays 15% as capital gains tax, $1.3 million in property taxes (another 1.3%) and maybe a total of $100,000 in sales taxes and gas taxes for the toys he buys. Effective tax rate on the money he cashed out: under 17%. Effective tax rate as a percentage of his wealth increase for the year: 1.7%.

I have nothing against the man, and of course his money and his work adds tremendous value to the economy. But the idea that it's immoral to provide pensions for people that served the state for 40 years because it takes an unfair portion of his money - when he employs people taught by state teachers, he's protected by state police, he's protected by state fire department employees, he's protected by state-run prisons, etc... etc... is ludicrous.

Here's what makes a top VC firm (1)

dkleinsc (563838) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302507)

Luck.

Really, that's it. All the other less successful VC firms have the same tools of the trade and people that are on average about as good at spotting a winner. The difference is that the successful firms have their 5% bet pay off 10% of the time rather than 0% of the time.

Re:Here's what makes a top VC firm (2)

characterZer0 (138196) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302617)

Marketing, not luck.

The investments do not actually need to pan out. The VC firms just need to make their investors think that the investments will return, and the VC firm makes money in fees even if the overall return is low.

It is a casino for the investors. The VC firm is the house.

Re:Here's what makes a top VC firm (1)

alexander_686 (957440) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302663)

For some hedge funds this is true – but not for VC. On one side, a startup can only take funds from a limited number of people. On the other side, startups tend not to have audited financial statements, so it takes a lot of leg work for the due diligence.

Audits are overrated (5, Insightful)

sjbe (173966) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302911)

On the other side, startups tend not to have audited financial statements, so it takes a lot of leg work for the due diligence.

Audited financials are somewhat overrated. See Enron. It's not terribly hard to make financial statements too confusing to interpret. I defy anyone reading this to look at the financial reports of any large bank and tell me how much risk they are exposed to or what their investment portfolio looks like. A VC will still have to do a ton of legwork for any company they plan to invest in.

Disclosure: I'm am a certified accountant.

Re:Audits are overrated (1)

alen (225700) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303227)

isn't that because there are lots of things a bank can hide off the public financial records? Not totally hide them but only make a small mention of some investments in the small print and keep the numbers off the main financial statements

Re:Audits are overrated (1)

alexander_686 (957440) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303459)

As of today, not so much.

You are probably thinking about Special Purpose Vehicles. These tend to be narrowly construed financial companies where one can park matched assets & liabilities. Back in Enron’s days, one could sell 5% of that company and get all off the liabilities off the books. In Enron’s case the SPV had full recourse back to Enron, so this was little more than a fig leaf. (In Enron’s case, the 5% equity was dodgy, the matched assets were dodgy, etc.). I would recommend “Smartest Guys in the Room” (The book is much better then movie – but also much thicker.)

The rules have been tightened to require real distance between the parent and the SPV to off-load liabilities from the books.

Re:Audits are overrated (1)

sjbe (173966) | about a year and a half ago | (#43304573)

isn't that because there are lots of things a bank can hide off the public financial records?

They don't need to do that although that has been a tactic used in the past. A bit less these days, post Enron. The bank simply needs to be vague about exactly what the composition of their investment portfolio is and ALL banks are rather opaque in this respect. Furthermore certain financial instruments are extremely difficult to evaluate. It's difficult to tell sometimes whether a derivative is a hedge or speculation or what the risk is. As an outsider it can be extremely difficult to evaluate the level of risk a bank is exposed to.

Re:Audits are overrated (1)

alexander_686 (957440) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303273)

And I was not trying to say that audited statements were fool proof – as you have pointed out the can be window dressing or wholesale fraud. Financial Shenanigans by Howard Schilit is a good book on the subject.

The point I was trying to make is that for a public company everybody has access to the same level of data. Anybody can go to Edger and get them – it’s not like VCs have a magic wand – in theory they make their money though their application of superior wisdom. (Unless you are talking about illegal insider trading – but that is a different story.)

When it comes to private companies it is a different story. To some investors they just might throw out a 1 page finical summary – for other they may open their order book.

Simple solution, too complicated? Failed Audit. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43305897)

"It's not terribly hard to make financial statements too confusing to interpret"

Simple solution: too complicated? - Failed Audit. Next step - suspend trading and/or daily fines (especially for private firms) until the financials are clearly and transparently documented to the approval and understanding of all shareholders and regulators, as well as third parties of average intelligence and training.

If a person of average intelligence (100 IQ) with a college degree in accounting can't understand the financials, they are too complicated to approve. We see this over and over - complicated financials are primarily (exclusively?) a way to hide the truth, primarily actual level of risk or insider dealing/conflict of interest. Prime example: bundling of subprime mortgatges and creation of derivatives.

Overall, complicated financial instruments (derivatives) and statements (Enron, most banks) are a net loss to society. They make a few criminals rich, but impoverish the rest of us. Accounting, like Banking, is killing itself and its own value by not demanding simplicity and transparency. To the average person a Banker (Ratings firms, etc.) is simply a criminal (I am not kidding.) Accountants risk the same attitude if they do not start cracking the whip.

Re:Simple solution, too complicated? Failed Audit. (1)

alexander_686 (957440) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306671)

Minor nit – but private companies don’t need audited statements. And VC funds are private - so – no audited statements.

Re:Audits are overrated (1)

Herkum01 (592704) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306299)

It was Enron making their financials too complicated to understand that brought about it's downfall. People who were knowledgeable looked at it and said "WTF? no way all of this was real" and started betting against the stock. That betting crashed the stock and then the company.

Whether it is fair or not is something, not everyone has the knowledge to research everything in detail. But if there was nothing there, then it never would have been exposed for the fraud that it was.

Venture capitalist alchemists? (1)

Opportunist (166417) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302783)

It seems more like someone wielding a shotgun in the dark shooting at targets. As long as he's got enough ammo, he will succeed.

Re:Venture capitalist alchemists? (1)

ebno-10db (1459097) | about a year and a half ago | (#43302851)

True, but 300 shells to get one duck is not a good ROI.

Re:Venture capitalist alchemists? (1)

DogDude (805747) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303073)

True, but it is if you're using somebody else's shells.

Re:Venture capitalist alchemists? (1)

ebno-10db (1459097) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306117)

That's the secret. Oh, and you get to pocket some of the shells just for showing up claiming to know how to hunt.

Re:Venture capitalist alchemists? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43303455)

It's a good ROI if the slain duck can be traded for 500 shells.

Re:Venture capitalist alchemists? (1)

ctr2sprt (574731) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303613)

It is if you can sell the duck for enough money to buy 400 shells.

Re:Venture capitalist alchemists? (1)

ebno-10db (1459097) | about a year and a half ago | (#43305703)

The point is that that's a mighty big "if".

Re:Venture capitalist alchemists? (1)

Opportunist (166417) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303731)

True, but they ain't duck hunting.

VCs shoot at much bigger targets. Basically what they do is they ponder how many shells they'll need to slay it, then calculate how many shells they could buy with the revenue of the carcass, and when B trumps A, they start firing.

The "high risk" comes from the fact that both are just estimates.

Re:Venture capitalist alchemists? (1)

ebno-10db (1459097) | about a year and a half ago | (#43305759)

The "high risk" comes from the fact that both are just estimates.

Estimates? Following Orwell's rules for plain English, that should be changed to "guesses". And since they insist on a big cut regardless of how good their "estimates" are, you can infer how much confidence they have in them.

Paraphrasing a broadcaster (2)

GodfatherofSoul (174979) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303039)

The stock market is now a sucker's bet. There's too much underhanded wheeling and dealing going on. Warren Buffet gets a sweetheart no-risk deal to buy up GM (?) stock, then the papers report he's investing in Detroit so that the rest of the sheep will follow. Jim Cramer built a career pumping and dumping stocks and the guy got a SHOW out of it! I took a look at investing years back and came away thinking I should avoid it like the plague (unless you've got a buddy on the inside of a deal).

Th7is F9P for GNAA (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43303219)

Public Pension Funds (3, Insightful)

PPH (736903) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303445)

Being involved with some VC myself, one of the things that we value highly is the proprietary nature of our operations. If we advertise our strategies, others will try to get in on the deals. This will drive prices up and dilute the potential return on our investment. In a market where survival means making a 60% return on one out of three startups and seeing the other two go bust, that would kill the VC business.

The alternative (which we practice) is to tell people with a duty to publicly disclose to kindly go f*k themselves when they try to buy in. There's plenty of money around and my heart wouldn't be broken if us wealthy people made 20% returns per year while the teachers union pension makes 0.1%

Re:Public Pension Funds (1)

ebno-10db (1459097) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306089)

Nice line of BS Daddy Warbucks, but you overlooked that they want fund performance from ten years ago.

Re:Public Pension Funds (1)

PPH (736903) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306243)

In this case, They == Reuters

Reuters can go f*k themselves. Our fund keeps our investors informed and happy. Don't like our rules? Or can't live with them because of regulations or judicial interference? Take your money and go home.

Re:Public Pension Funds (2)

ebno-10db (1459097) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306831)

Reuters can go f*k themselves.

An interesting argument. Perhaps you could submit an amicus curiae brief to the court.

Our fund keeps our investors informed and happy.

Of course it does. Why would anyone ever think otherwise? Extreme secrecy is always used strictly for legitimate business reasons, just like the state secrets privilege [wikipedia.org] is always used for legitimate national security reasons.

Take your money and go home.

Exactly what UC did ten years ago with their Kleiner and Sequoia investments, yet Kleiner and Sequoia are fighting tooth and nail to prevent disclosure of performance data from a decade ago. Oh, that's right, you already said that it's to prevent disclosure of their strategies. I guess their strategies are so good that they haven't had to change them in ten years, and they might be revealed even though California law specifically requires them only to disclose overall fund performance, and not the details about the performance of the underlying companies that make up the funds.

Re:Public Pension Funds (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43306421)

bernie madoff, is that you? i didn't know you were on /.!

Re:Public Pension Funds (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43307429)

I think I'm glad you're not handling my money. Let me guess, you're in marketing side?

60% return on 1/3 and two bust:
octave:10> (1/3) * 1.6 + (2/3) * 0
ans = 0.53333

So, you lose almost half the invested money on each cycle?

Re:Public Pension Funds (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43307941)

VC's need to go out of business and then euthanize all the non-support employees/management.

You can go fuck yourself.

There is nothing secret about your business, whoever can talk the most BS gets funded. Speak clearly and they ignore you, use meaningless buzzwords and they buy in.

Yes, I have a low opinion of all businessmen, fucking retards to the end.

Re:Public Pension Funds (1)

PPH (736903) | about a year and a half ago | (#43309211)

whoever can talk the most BS gets funded. Speak clearly and they ignore you, use meaningless buzzwords and they buy in.

Yes, I have a low opinion of all businessmen, fucking retards to the end.

It's amazing how many people think like that. Tell some startup that they need to put some more thought into their business plan and they stomp off, saying

You can go fuck yourself.

Word gets around. And people who aren't willing to take constructive criticism will get shunned by everyone. Keep in mind that most startups fail because of poor business planning, financing or marketing. Not crappy technology. You might have the neatest gizmo on the Internet. But if you can't demonstrate that you can bring it to market, you are worthless. If you are wiling to take a few rejections gracefully and listen to advice, eventually someone might fund you.

Thankfully, most VC funds don't advertise information about failures. Or someone like Reuters might start putting together lists of would be entrepreneurs who are repeat screw-ups.

Re:Public Pension Funds (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43313649)

There is a huge difference between improving your business plan and throwing out meaningless buzzwords to placate the drooling monkeys.

ALL businessmen can go fuck themselves, VC jackasses need to die in a fire.

Businessmen are fucking retards through and through.

Re:Public Pension Funds (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43313793)

That is funny.

I had to wrote a technical report for a businessman. It was two pages and spelled out everything in detail. He didn't like it. I rewrote it out to nine pages by literally copy/pasting multiple times from the original and threw in lots of stupid buzzwords that say nothing that businessmen love and he absolutely loved it.

Businessmen can go fuck themselves, they are the reason the best ideas never win.

VC (1)

Frankie70 (803801) | about a year and a half ago | (#43303487)

Venture Capital is a glorified name. Let's call it what it really is - junk bonds.

the Viet Cong sure get around! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43303981)

Thousands of miles from home, poor ol VC investing in vaporware and primary wrecking ball of the dot com bubbles.

VC's behavior (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43305071)

I've worked with many VC firms over the years even working for one once. Everyone has to remember that the business of VC's is to find places to invest other peoples money. It's a lot harder than it sounds. One of my jobs was to read business plans by the hundreds. 99.99% of them were total junk, written by people who were totally clueless. Of the remaining .01% most were really pie in the sky ideas. Of the ~1000 business plans I read over the course of a year I think the VC firm invested in 2 companies only one of which lived long enough to get bought out by someone. Finding good investments was so difficult that the VC I worked for had to liquidate one fund of over $100 million dollars earmarked for mobile communications and return it to the investors because they couldn't find enough worthy ideas. Raising money is easy, all you need are a good idea, people who know how to execute the good idea and a viable exit strategy. The last is probably the most important part of any business plan if you want VC participation.

Re:VC's behavior (1)

ebno-10db (1459097) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306069)

I believe everything you wrote, but having somebody read through hundreds of business plans does not justify the skim that VC's take.

Re:VC's behavior (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43308127)

LOL

Why is the end-game always selling out for you fucktards?

If your business plan ends in "and a bigger company will buy us out" you are a worthless company that shouldn't even start. That is the main reason 99.9% of VC funded business are epic failures.

It's "venture" capital (1)

moeinvt (851793) | about a year and a half ago | (#43305147)

There are different types of VC firms, but overall, I think they are for investors who have a generally high risk tolerance.

I recently attended a conference and saw a presentation by a guy who was part of a small VC firm that funded startups. They understand and expect that many of the "ventures" will be losers. They even expect that they will invest in more losers than winners overall. They're betting on finding a small number of ventures that really take off and provide big returns that will compensate for other losses.

Re:It's "venture" capital (1)

ebno-10db (1459097) | about a year and a half ago | (#43306033)

Boilerplate. Everybody who's heard of VC understands and accepts everything you said. It has nothing to do with disclosing the performance of funds from 10 years ago.

Original Link Fixed (Sorry) (1)

curtwoodward (2147628) | about a year and a half ago | (#43305521)

Hi all, author and submitter here. Sorry about the link problems - it's all my fault. I edited the headline to make Sequoia possessive, to avoid confusion with another fund. To be OCD about it, I also added the 'S' to the URL. Which means a ton of you bonked the 404 page when you went to read the article. Never edit before coffee. So I have changed it back. This one works again: http://www.xconomy.com/national/2013/03/27/kleiner-sequoia-fund-returns-could-be-exposed-in-ca-lawsuit/?single_page=true [xconomy.com] Thanks to the other commenters who found the temporarily working link, which is no longer live. That'll teach me.

VC's suck ass (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year and a half ago | (#43305939)

If you are at all interested in growing your company and not selling out to greedy fuckstains, VC is not the way to go.

It is even worse than going public, something any company that cares about its product, image, employees, customers, or community should not do.

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