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Stolen Laptop Owner Outwits Mugger, Police, and the Media

timothy posted about a year ago | from the dirty-deeds-dragged-into-view dept.

Crime 272

An anonymous reader writes "What do you get mugged in Central London and the local police are too incompetent to find a mugger even with his address and photograph? You may not be able to get to the laptop, but you still own the photos and data on it, so you set up the NSFW Plumpergeddon blog which gives details of the subsequent 'owner's' 'Brick House Butts' fetishes. Now of course later the IT media might get interested and offer an interview with a promise to let him review the article and keep his name secret. luckily our hero is not so innocent and demonstrates the value of using a false name on the internet as well as planting your own monitoring software on your laptop."

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272 comments

Huh? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511351)

What do you post articles that are unintelligible?

Re:Huh? (3, Funny)

pieisgood (841871) | about a year ago | (#43511365)

I'd mod this ironic and funny if I could.

Re:Huh? (3, Funny)

Jeremiah Cornelius (137) | about a year ago | (#43511441)

My attention was completely diverted at "Brick House".

LA face and an Oakland booty...

Re:Huh? (0)

GenieGenieGenie (942725) | about a year ago | (#43511467)

Oh, get on with it. Can't you play connect the grammar dots? I pick my nose at you.

Re:Huh? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511509)

My 12yr old Daughter writes articles...

Re:Huh? (5, Funny)

ArsonSmith (13997) | about a year ago | (#43511575)

Run it back and forth a couple times in google translate, it improves some:

"What do you want to be incompetent in the center of London and the local police to want to attack an attacker? Find images with name and address of company, you may not be able to get the laptop, but you do not have your own photos and Configure the data on it, if you are using the Plumpergeddon NSFW blog that details the following fetish "owner" Brick House Butts. Well, of course the media later it Join in and have an interview with a promise to investigate them could the item and keep his name secret. Luckily, our hero is not as innocent and shows the advantage of using a false name on the Internet and planting monitoring software on your laptop. "

Re:Huh? (4, Funny)

mspohr (589790) | about a year ago | (#43511843)

This is much better than the original summary (or even the original article).
I think /. should as a matter of policy run all submissions through Google translate to get to the core of their meaning.

Oh dear! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511621)

What do you a new Slashdot meme has been created.

Re:Oh dear! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511793)

What do you mod this back up. I for one welcome what do you have a new meme overlords.

Re:Huh? (1)

4partee (1012473) | about a year ago | (#43511625)

He write like he talk!

Re:Huh? (3, Funny)

fibonacci8 (260615) | about a year ago | (#43511893)

Thank you Miss Swan for your thorough description.

Re:Huh? (1)

Goodyob (2445598) | about a year ago | (#43512099)

I'm dying XD

Re:Huh? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43512163)

Yeah OK.

Re:Huh? (2)

cyberchondriac (456626) | about a year ago | (#43511809)

May as well put it all together now,

What do all your base are belong to us

(I'm waiting on someone else to modify the "In soviet russia" and "I welcome our new overlords" memes..)

Re:Huh? (2)

crossmr (957846) | about a year ago | (#43512343)

This is timothy we're talking about. He was trained by Kdawson, or they're one in the same. In his mind, this makes perfect sense.

What do you get mugged? (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511363)

Editing is a lost art.

Re:What do you get mugged? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511373)

What do you a lost art.

FTFY.

Regards,
timothy

Re:What do you get mugged? (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511611)

Impersonation on the internet is serious criminal the act. You should ashamed.

Re:What do you get mugged? (5, Interesting)

ArchieBunker (132337) | about a year ago | (#43511397)

I'd give this site less than a year before its finally pawned off to another owner and the domain recycled. The "news" here is days or even weeks old and the owners can't figure out how to ban one persistent comment spammer.

Re:What do you get mugged? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511429)

You must be new here.

Re:What do you get mugged? (1)

ArchieBunker (132337) | about a year ago | (#43511495)

Nope, loyal visitor since the late 90s. I witnessed the rise and fall of comments, moderation system, hot grits and Natalie Portman, the daily Turd Report and much much more.

Re:What do you get mugged? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511743)

You tell him.
The site is gonna be mediocre and you're gonna like and even defend it!

Re:What do you get mugged? (4, Insightful)

colinrichardday (768814) | about a year ago | (#43512167)

Not with that ID.

Speak English, dickless. (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511393)

Based on the content of the summary, I have no fucking idea what this story is about.

Re:Speak English, dickless. (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511639)

Guy got his laptop stolen.

Police wouldn't pull ATM video or follow-up with the 11 other locations his (also stolen) card were used. This pissed off the victim.

He hasn't tracked the thief, but his laptop regularly sends photos and screenshots while the laptop is in use. This is old news, from a tech perspective.

He posts them on a blog. Much of it is the thief masturbating to porn of grossly overweight women, on sites where he used the victims stolen card to buy memberships.

The thief, unsurprisingly, sucks at life in a number of other ways. He keeps getting banned from eBay. His pathetic dating profile has been posted, etc.

The Register wrote an article full of incorrect information, because the victim declined to reveal his identity and do a real interview. As such, nobody knows his real info. He can continue to operate the shame site.

He has not made any real money running the blog, even with the ads. Less than 100 gbp. This summary stinks of an advertisement to build the viewership and ad revenue generation. I suspect as much because the blog operator isn't vury guud wath tha englishes, either.

I think that covers it.

Re:Speak English, dickless. (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511741)

I might have botched the line on the Register article. It's (obviously) a little difficult to suss out.

It sounds like they did get a lot wrong, but they also published the name he gave them, despite having promised not to. The good news is he BS'd that part anyway.

But, in any case, it's not a terribly interesting tech story.

Re:Speak English, dickless. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511971)

The Register wrote an article full of incorrect information, because the victim declined to reveal his identity and do a real interview. As such, nobody knows his real info. He can continue to operate the shame site.

The Register's article contains incorrect information, because it's The Register. It's a tabloid full of lies and exaggeration. I personally have never read an article on The Register that didn't sound fishy and they all contain lots of obvious exaggeration. It's not a site worth reading.

Re:Speak English, dickless. (3, Informative)

Jah-Wren Ryel (80510) | about a year ago | (#43511975)

> This summary stinks of an advertisement to build the viewership and ad revenue generation.

The guy's goal is public shaming, but that doesn't work unless a lot of the public sees the website. So he probably did submit the story here, but it is doubtful that a few banner ads are going to make him any significant amount of money.

Re:Speak English, dickless. (5, Interesting)

Sarius64 (880298) | about a year ago | (#43512263)

Are these cops from San Diego? My wife had a bank call her and the cops that they were HOLDING the thief trying to cash one of her checks he washed. The police said $500 (the amount being fraudulently submitted) wasn't enough to roll a car on a thief the bank guard had handcuffed. In the end, the bank had to threaten to sue the cops to get a response.

Are you kidding me? (5, Insightful)

mpoulton (689851) | about a year ago | (#43511399)

Just delete this and start over. Really. How does this word-salad get approved for publication to millions of people?

Re:Are you kidding me? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511427)

What do you kidding? This illustrates value of false name internet.

Re:Are you kidding me? (4, Insightful)

Grashnak (1003791) | about a year ago | (#43511505)

And why would any site accept submissions from ACs anyway? Comments? Fine. Submissions? Not so much.

Re:Are you kidding me? (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511537)

Why not? The quality of the summary wouldn't be any different if this had been a known user. No one is hurt if an anonymous coward submits a well written summary that points to an interesting article. The real issue here is the lack of editing prior to posting this entry.

Re:Are you kidding me? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511701)

ACs have submitted many great stories to slashdot, along with even more terrible ones.

Of course, the same goes for registered users.

What the What? (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511407)

I've read this twice and I'm still confused.

I'll try to translate what I think the article says:
1. Man was mugged and lost his laptop.
2. Police won't do anything about it.
3. He has hidden software on his old laptop that was sending images and data back to him.
4. He posted it on the Internet under a fake name
5. ...
6. Profit?

Re:What the What? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511497)

You forgot the one where he was so stupid he let the idiot mugger log on to the machine as himself. So he either had no password (or autologon) setup or he didn't encrypt his drive. Either is pretty stupid. If the drive is encrypted, the thief can't just use a live distro to reset the password list. If the software the original owner had on there is still active then he was not so bright. If my notebook was stolen, they could certainly reformat the thing and install whatever they wanted. But they sure wouldn't be booting it up and logging on as me and looking at my data. They would also have to erase any software I had on there with the reformat. So this guy wasn't the best computer user out there.

What do you get big butt fetish? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511409)

Incompetent editing can't write good but maybe give interview in IT media if keep name secret yesno?

Sense making this summary very much doesn't however is okay because Slashdot's really been going downhill these past 15 years.

Re:What do you get big butt fetish? (1)

TangoMargarine (1617195) | about a year ago | (#43511779)

Whoa whoa whoa! That last clause actually makes perfect sense! I think what you meant was:

because Slashdot downhill going has 15 past these years.

What do you get in the butt faget? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511463)

Haha fucken fagets can't edit for shit. What do you get mugged? You get fucken mugged in the butt, fucken fagets.

None. (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511489)

I...I have no idea what is happening. I think I knew more before I read the summary.

ermahgerd! (5, Insightful)

Grashnak (1003791) | about a year ago | (#43511499)

I are unintelligible and I are endorse this message.

Re:ermahgerd! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511617)

me fail inglish?

thats unpossible!

Re:ermahgerd! (2)

libtek (902569) | about a year ago | (#43511695)

I is forget, what get forgives? U who Anonymous. Expedite we.

The era of computer generated news has arrived (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511501)

The article consists of English words stringed after one another, and it looks like they form valid English sentences at first glance, but they really don't.

How to be retarded. Step one: Buy a Mac (-1, Troll)

VortexCortex (1117377) | about a year ago | (#43511507)

This is the stupidest shit ever.

All our informant remembers is waking up on Oxford Street when the sun came up to find his Macbook Pro had gone, along with his credit cards, which were subsequently to used to run up a £7,000 bill.

A fucking Mac was stolen from a game designer: "He's f*cked with the wrong nerd", so now this moronic game designer is spying on some clueless fellow who likes chubby girls (which need love like anyone else, I might add).

So, imagine your friend of a friend's acquaintance doesn't want his laptop anymore, and sells it to you for a really reasonable price. Now you're having your character assasinated by some hipster indie game dev fuck who thinks he's the digital version of Super Man. Oh, and even if that guy is the actual mugger, he can say he's the one who got it from a friend and now he gets off free: It's his word against yours -- "Are you sure this man mugged you, or did you just SPY ON HIM so many times that you think he's the one?"

Stupidest. Shit. Ever. You call the cops. If they tell you to piss off because bigger shit than stolen laptops is going on in the world, then you fucking piss right off, dork. It's called "insurance", if you care about shit you get it insured. The police report is a formality to make it less likely you're trying to defraud the insurance company... Not because the cops are breaking out the drag-net to hunt down the dude that YOU HAVE NO EVIDENCE stole your laptop. Hell, for all we know you got drunk and gave it to him.

Despite the uncertainty as to exactly how "Plumpy" might have come into possession of the laptop, the author is unapologetic about the blog, which he now plans to expand with video content of the unwitting subject.

“My plan was always to go public with this if the police failed to act. I don't feel a connection with him as such but I am at last feeling some closure. And it's a lot of fun.

That's right. It's a fucking excuse to fuck with some other sad fucker -- Hey, guess what? I feel sorry for the fucking guy now. He clearly needed a laptop or else he would have sold it for smack by now, right? The owner was being a careless self entitled prick with it anyway. Hey, here's a fucking Idea. You've got the guy's address then why not send him a letter or ring 'em up and ask for your shit back, like a fucking HUMAN would.

Re:How to be retarded. Step one: Buy a Mac (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511557)

Priceless. If every Brit was like you, you fuckers would rule the world again. In a less colonialist way though. More sheer awesomeness.

Re:How to be retarded. Step one: Buy a Mac (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511749)

Aww, I was hoping for every comment here to be about the mangled language in TFS, and you blew it.

Re:How to be retarded. Step one: Buy a Mac (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43512123)

If every Brit was like him, dentists across Europe would each own a Bentley.

Re:How to be retarded. Step one: Buy a Mac (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43512341)

If every Brit was like him, dentists across Europe would each own a Bentley.

Compare the wealth of American dentists to that of English ones. Now tell me who's the schmuck.

Re:How to be retarded. Step one: Buy a Mac (1)

RichardJenkins (1362463) | about a year ago | (#43511757)

Calm down polemics aren't much use if you don't address the facts.

Seems to have strong evidence this chap new the laptop was stolen, even if he didn't steal it himself.

Laptop belongs to the insurance company now. It was insured.

Re:How to be retarded. Step one: Buy a Mac (1)

GumphMaster (772693) | about a year ago | (#43512255)

So now the erstwhile owner of the laptop is committing the crime of unauthorised access to the insurance company's computer.

Re:How to be retarded. Step one: Buy a Mac (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43512323)

It's the UK, so the solution is to file a libel suit against the dude posting the pictures. If he's just receiving stolen goods, especially if he didn't know they were stolen, it would be a profitable venture.

hoax? (1)

neuralstatic (2671867) | about a year ago | (#43511511)

the "mugged" victim somehow gave his PIN number without remembering it? after reading the whole site, it seems very hoaxy.

Re:hoax? (1)

Time_Ngler (564671) | about a year ago | (#43511745)

According to him, his drink was spiked.

Re:hoax? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511773)

"PIN number"

Would you please take a look at this universal URL location to chek for yourself to find out what PIN stand for:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_identification_number [wikipedia.org]

Re:hoax? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511801)

"PIN number"

Would you please take a look at this universal URL location to chek for yourself to find out what PIN stand for: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_identification_number [wikipedia.org]

Would you please take a look outside and see how normal people really talk? "PIN number" is in the vernacular and it's best for you to just accept that.

Re:hoax? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511913)

So if enough people commit a wrong, it simply becomes a wright (not a typo)! I'd rather take the couple of seconds to point them at their mistake, unless they are total idiots they will not make the same mistakes after about 3 corrections.

Re:hoax? (2)

Slick_W1lly (778565) | about a year ago | (#43512145)

Exactly this. yes.

He lives in England where they practice common law y'know.
Where - if I want to change my name - all I have to do is say : My name is now 'Humpert Merrywinkle'. If enough people know me as 'Humpert Merrrywinkle' then I am that person.

And I should know - My passport and my birth certificate contain different names. I never 'legally' changed my name anywhere. Ie: I never submitted a 'name change form'. It just works like that. 'merikans can't seem to figure this out.

So - yeah. PIN Number is right, On account of an imperial arseload of people say it. And that's a whole lot bigger than a metric buttload.

This story is in quite really really old (2, Informative)

Cito (1725214) | about a year ago | (#43511519)

Here's the video from DefCon 18

Uploaded Dec 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4oB28ksiIo [youtube.com]

Enjoy the photos and story :)

Re:This story is in quite really really old (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511569)

Different guy.

Re:This story is in quite really really old (1)

Cito (1725214) | about a year ago | (#43511655)

ah ok it sounds exactly alike

also the guy from Defcon 18 shows that the perp liked "Fatties" visiting BBW sites and showing screenshots of his "work"

Hero..maybe to you. (0, Troll)

tuppe666 (904118) | about a year ago | (#43511579)

Having read the article, there is no bones about it, most of us would be devastated , by the loss of our computers...and its not about the hardware which can include memories, videos or life changing moments (births deaths marriages), months or years of work...a whole host of personal information. If this story would have helped bring a little justice...or helped recover the laptop, It would have been a nice story.

...but its not it is voyeuristic piece about spying into someone deeply personal life's, This is appalling behavioural , compounded by publishing this on the web. This is disturbing, especially for an individual clearly unwilling to reveal themselves and recognises a person should have privacy and dignity behind their own walls....and no stealing someone else's property.

I would be astonished if this is legal (its ethically wrong), as notices normally have to be shown...although are often small; hidden in reality. This opens the doors for people leaving usb pen drives in the street, lending computers to friends...or hell just buying someone a usb camera.

Most here service other peoples machines at one time or other, and have the opportunity to be invasive, but do not do so because we simply recognise it as morally wrong, even if I think "fucked with the wrong nerd", and all here are pretty careful of "not finding" anything we find, because we *understand*.

I won't talk about the whole waking up in central London with a laptop missing. His house was not even broken into. He should take some responsibility for his own actions.

I'm struggling to identify the hero of this story...everyone is a victim.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (4, Interesting)

Jah-Wren Ryel (80510) | about a year ago | (#43511677)

I would be astonished if this is legal (its ethically wrong), as notices normally have to be shown...although are often small; hidden in reality. This opens the doors for people leaving usb pen drives in the street, lending computers to friends...or hell just buying someone a usb camera.

I don't really think we should be taking ethical advice from someone who conflates stealing a computer with being lent a computer, much less being gifted a computer.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (2)

Cammi (1956130) | about a year ago | (#43511685)

Obviously, there's nothing illegal with what he did. The laptop is his property.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511739)

I'm not so sure a judge would agree without, the laptop could have been resold through a legitimate intermediary...

That said the police should have acted, and I truly understand why the guy is pissed.

However, it would probably have been more efficient to keylog the laptop, hack plumpers facebook account and use to write dirty messages to childen.
That would most certainly get the police' attention :)

(okay, just joking, though if someone steals my laptop, all bets are off)

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511715)

Sympathy for a robber? What are you?

This is revenge. The mugger can stop it anytime by turning himself in. But he keeps using the stolen computer. No sympathy, to hell with him. Go on exposing his personal life and ebay failures. Someday he might reveal his whereabouts - go visit him and bring a baseball bat. With nails in it - rusty ones. Recover the computer (and monetary losses) in as bloody a way as possible.

The robber has no right to "date" using a stolen machine - hence no moral right to privacy . . .

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511819)

Guess what, thieves have rights too. Welcome to post-medieval times. What this twat is doing is considered a far worse crime than stealing a laptop, and for good reasons.
This is going to come back to bite him so hard - "But he stole my computer" isn't a good defence for criminal behaviour.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43512187)

If you're going to take the time to post on slashdot, you should at least think before you type. You look like an idiot.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (4, Informative)

93 Escort Wagon (326346) | about a year ago | (#43511733)

And I guess the submitter missed the other story that came out of England a few weeks ago [theregister.co.uk] where the theft victim similarly posted the "thieves" photos all over, only to discover the people he was harassing were innocent.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511781)

This is crap. Where I come from, possession of (i.e. buying) stolen goods is a crime. It is almost always obvious that what you are buying is stolen. Laptop with just the power supply on eBay? STOLEN! You deserve the consequences. Owner contacts you? RETURN THE ITEM!

The case of the Iranian family was something of an exception. They are still a bunch of stolen-laptop-buying dirtbags; they just don't deserve the Iranian consequences for that (torture, loss of hands), which is why the guy decided to relent.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (1)

KZigurs (638781) | about a year ago | (#43511855)

Case with Iranian family was not an exception. They bought stolen goods. Period.

The fact that the owner was playing to be a nice guy in particular instance has nothing to do with facts.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511869)

> This is crap. Where I come from, possession of (i.e. buying) stolen goods is a crime.

Possession is 9/10 of the law.

Where I come from, if you buy something with a good faith belief that it's not stolen, you become the rightful owner of the item. This was put in place to protect pawn shops, and pawn shop patrons. It's even been extended to people who buy stolen *houses* through fraudulent title transactions.

http://www.aaron.ca/columns/2006-10-07.htm

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43512125)

Cool! I'm listing all my stolen goods in Canada from now on.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (1)

Sarius64 (880298) | about a year ago | (#43512283)

Where you come from that may work. Try that in any state of the USA and you'll receive a minimum of 11/29 in jail, mate.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (5, Insightful)

Jah-Wren Ryel (80510) | about a year ago | (#43511957)

And I guess the submitter missed the other story that came out of England a few weeks ago where the theft victim similarly posted the "thieves" photos all over, only to discover the people he was harassing were innocent.

That's not really relevant because in this case the mugger also used the victim's debit card to buy a subscription to the fat chick porn website he's been caught wanking over. There is no question that he's 100% culpable here.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (1)

mjwalshe (1680392) | about a year ago | (#43511993)

Well yes that laptop just flew on its own to iran - Just like all those Mercs and Beemers just arrived in Albania all on their own.

Reviving stolen goods is a crime just ask any Gawker hack.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (-1, Troll)

redmid17 (1217076) | about a year ago | (#43511761)

You have completely lost your grip on reality or have to be a completely moronic troll. Those are the only two things I can think of.

Re:Hero..maybe to you. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511799)

The mugger is not a victim. He willingly and knowingly decided to break the law. The victim, having no legal recourse, may be striking out in anger but he has every right to -- he's the victim of a crime.

Don't feel sorry for the criminal having his personal life put online. He's a worthless. He has no value to society, and he doesn't matter to anyone. If he didn't exist, not only would nobody know, or care, but the world would be a better place.

Consider he's spent most of his adult life victimizing people. Is it really so bad that for once, the tables are turned?

Crime in Jolly Ol' England (-1, Offtopic)

tmosley (996283) | about a year ago | (#43511615)

I thought the English were safe from crime, given their disarmed society and their Orwellian surveillance society?

Whoops, there I go again, letting my doublethink slip and allowing reality to intrude on my thought process. I'd best be off to the two minute hate (Chechnya is our enemy. Chechnya has always been our enemy.) Wouldn't want to get into trouble with the thought police.

He should start a private prosecution (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511683)

This is _exactly_ why we still have the possibility of starting private prosecutions.

All he has to do is start the procedures at his local Magistrates court, starting proceeding for theft; where _he_ will act as the prosecutor.

It seems as if he should have all of the necessary evidence.

Re:Crime in Jolly Ol' England (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511735)

I thought the English were safe from crime, given their disarmed society and their Orwellian surveillance society?

A disarmed society is not a crime-free society. Crime happens, you just don't get killed, that's all. Getting mugged merely means you loose some stuff. No burial. Surprising a burglar merely means you get pushed aside as he runs for it. Mindlessly walking into a bad part of town might mean that you walk out without your wallet - but you still walk out.

Re:Crime in Jolly Ol' England (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511899)

Have you moved to Chile [slashdot.org] yet?

No, you haven't. You're not going to, and you never were going to. You lied, because you're a liar.

Re:Crime in Jolly Ol' England (1)

tmosley (996283) | about a year ago | (#43512149)

Boy are you butthurt.

Also wrong.

Re:Crime in Jolly Ol' England (0)

tmosley (996283) | about a year ago | (#43512211)

Also, that's creepy as hell. What are you, a fucking stalker? Jesus Christ, I'm one popular fucking internet poster.

the summary... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511643)

looks like it was generated by a markov chain :(

Dusking dawns (0)

roman_mir (125474) | about a year ago | (#43511693)

What open now reading blogosphere panopticum O'Hara.

Special /. edition

You guys just can't read british English (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511707)

You need subtitles and translation like in east Enders over here, I know most of the American shows consist or grunting an yelling

He likes big butts (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511717)

and he cannot hide

Question for the Editors (4, Funny)

FuzzNugget (2840687) | about a year ago | (#43511769)

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? Because I think you have.

Re:Question for the Editors (1)

fibonacci8 (260615) | about a year ago | (#43511951)

Originally Posted by nyquist.
has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Originally Posted by gahnand.
You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.

From EQ2Flames.com

Re:Question for the Editors (1)

Goodyob (2445598) | about a year ago | (#43512117)

Evangelion black and white and blue and white and the other hand I am not sure if you can see the light of the most part of my favorite things.

Call me skeptical (3, Interesting)

rueger (210566) | about a year ago | (#43511823)

Aside from his just "waking up" to find his laptop and wallet gone.... yeah - he was probably at church at the time, and the sermon was dull... I seriously doubt that anyone at The Reg would "offer an interview with a promise to let him review the article and keep his name secret."

Keep his name secret? Possibly, and not that uncommon. Let him review the article? I really, really, really doubt that. No journalist - hell, no J-school student - would be that dumb.

Once you've been interviewed the deed is done. Unless it involves highly technical information - say interviewing a top scientist in specialized field, where there really is a need for detailed discussion - there's no way you'll be asked to "review" anything.

Re:Call me skeptical (1)

KZigurs (638781) | about a year ago | (#43511863)

Reviewing the article is the default expectation and offer in anything that resembles an interview for publication.

Yes, those 'shocking slip-of-the-tongue' interviews in Daily Mail have been reviewed and approved for publication by the person being interviewed. 100% (if they actually happened, Daily Mail is a tricky example).

Re:Call me skeptical (1)

rueger (210566) | about a year ago | (#43512203)

Reviewing the article is the default expectation and offer in anything that resembles an interview for publication.

Really? I've never had a reporter offer that, and wouldn't expect it. What publications were you interviewed by?

Re:Call me skeptical (1)

mjwalshe (1680392) | about a year ago | (#43511997)

Any Journalist will know what off the record means.

Completely incomprehensible (3, Insightful)

mark_reh (2015546) | about a year ago | (#43511851)

moving on...

Hoax? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43511905)

The whole thing seems like a hoax to me. It doesn't ring true in the slightest.

Only for less competent muggers and thieves (1)

damn_registrars (1103043) | about a year ago | (#43512055)

Most reasonably sharp thieves will quickly wipe your HD and install a "fresh" OS on your laptop after they take it from you. Your monitoring software will be gone quickly; though fortunately your data will go with it.

These Prey/Hidden apps are misguided (2)

hodet (620484) | about a year ago | (#43512131)

I don't think it makes sense to put more value on the hardware than on your personal information. Full system encryption and full system backups are the best approach. If you really want to be a hero, at the very least install your everyday OS to a hidden partition and have a decoy OS on the main partition that the perp will use so you can have your "hilarious blog material". But overall, get over it man, because your laptop is gone. At least the most valuable thing (your information) will not be accessed.

NSFW (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#43512249)

Thanks for listing that dude's blog as NSFW. If you don't read The Register article first then you can end up with some problems.

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