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Mastermind of 9/11 Attacks Designs a Secret Vacuum Cleaner

timothy posted 1 year,17 days | from the your-snide-response-must-include-the-word-sucks dept.

The Military 284

HonorPoncaCityDotCom writes "AP reports that while confined to the basement of a CIA secret prison in Romania about a decade ago, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the admitted mastermind of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, asked his jailers whether he could design a vacuum cleaner. After all KSM earned his bachelor's in mechanical engineering, the agency had no long-term plan for him, but might thought he might someday prove useful and might even stand trial one day and for that, he'd need to be sane. They were concerned that his long imprisonment might do so much psychological damage that he would no longer be useful as source for information. "We didn't want them to go nuts," said a former senior CIA official. So, using schematics from the Internet as his guide, Mohammed began re-engineering one of the most mundane of household appliances. It remains a mystery how far Mohammed got with his designs or whether the plans still exist and even Mohammed's military lawyer, Jason Wright, says he is prohibited from discussing his client's interest in vacuums. 'It sounds ridiculous, but answering this question, or confirming or denying the very existence of a vacuum cleaner design, a Swiffer design, or even a design for a better hand towel would apparently expose the U.S. government and its citizens to exceptionally grave danger,' says Wright. So now, says Doug Mataconis, if you happen to start seeing ads for the CIA's revolutionary new home cleaning device, you'll know where it came from." Sounds perfect for In-Q-Tel.

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284 comments

I wont pretend to be impressed for this salesman (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,17 days | (#44267329)

I don't care how many marbles it can grab up from the floor

admitted? (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,17 days | (#44267351)

He was tortured in order to obtain the confession, I don't know what good it is.

Re:admitted? (3, Funny)

Zemran (3101) | 1 year,17 days | (#44267363)

He was tortured to get a confession and when they read it, it was the plan for a vacuum cleaner...

Re:admitted? (2)

the_other_one (178565) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267501)

I vaguley recall that this was the plot of an episode of Hogan's Heros.
The Norton project was not a bombsight.

Re:admitted? (4, Informative)

artor3 (1344997) | 1 year,17 days | (#44267435)

He admitted to his role in 9/11 several months before being captured, in an interview with Al Jazeera.

That in no way excuses torture, nor does it mean he's guilty of the dozens of other crimes that they tortured him into confessing to, but he was responsible for 9/11.

Re:admitted? (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267565)

This is why you don't torture people who you think are criminals -- it does nothing but contribute doubt to your case. Society learned long ago that a torture-free imprisonment, followed by a fair and impartial trial, was the most effective way to ensure that an admission of guilt (or conviction) was credible and final.

Re:admitted? (3, Insightful)

Raenex (947668) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267659)

To play devil's advocate, if you're looking for information, torture with cross-checking will probably gain you some. It will cost you in other ways, though.

Re:admitted? (1)

kthreadd (1558445) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268029)

Unless you torture the cross checker I guess.

Re:admitted? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268381)

No wonder the checker is cross.

Re:admitted? (-1, Troll)

flyingfsck (986395) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268153)

Yup, the sad fact is that torture actually works and it can save lives when executed properly. That is why militaries the world over still does it and will continue to do so, despite what any pussyfooting public apologists may say, or want everyone to believe.

Re:admitted? (4, Insightful)

erikkemperman (252014) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268309)

Really? Care to give examples? Because I thought that torture will only get people to tell you what they think you want to hear. Truth doesn't figure into it.

Unless the aim of torture of one guy is actually to frighten and discourage a bunch of other guys not yet residing in your secret lair dungeons. Maybe that would work. But that would be, you know, terrorism.

Re:admitted? (5, Insightful)

Omestes (471991) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268455)

Yup, the sad fact is that torture actually works and it can save lives when executed properly.

I doubt the truthfulness of this statement, on the basis of numerous studies, history, and a basic understanding of human psychology. But even if it was true, it is irrelevant, since it switches the argument against torture into and ethical and humanitarian one, which is also pretty solid. There also is the matter of hypocracy, since we can never actually condemn torture (of the so-called "good-guys"), as long as we advocate it.

The fact that there is a debate about the merits of torture is absolutely astounding to to me. Astounding and abhorrent.

Re:admitted? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267679)

Noble words.

Regardless of that lesson, society still prefers the immediate gratification of punishment for known offenses over any service to the greater good that might be bought by actual, civilized justice.

We do not torture to extract credible confessions. We torture to feel the pleasure of discharging our power. It is disgusting, and it is human nature.

Re:admitted? (2)

pwizard2 (920421) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267893)

This is why I wish at times it were possible to rewrite human nature--essentially strip out the greed, petty cruelty, and shortsighted stupidity and distribute the fix like a software patch. Society would work a lot better if we didn't have these flaws.

Re:admitted? (1)

jamstar7 (694492) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267947)

This is why I wish at times it were possible to rewrite human nature--essentially strip out the greed, petty cruelty, and shortsighted stupidity and distribute the fix like a software patch. Society would work a lot better if we didn't have these flaws.

That'll take some serious genetic engineering followed by some serious behavior modification therapy starting from birth. And keep in mind that some people will fight to the death to hold onto their greed, petty cruelty, and shortsighted stupidity, basically, anybody in power at the moment anywhere on the planet. The rest of us? We're trying to make a living, raise the kids to be somewhat sane in an insane world, and maybe find a few fleeting moments of happiness before the hammer falls.

Re:admitted? (1)

SuricouRaven (1897204) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268245)

Until some mutant is born losing the patch and, in a world completly unprepared to handle such a person, swiftly amasses a vast fortune by reinventing the 419 scam and a bit of old-fashioned burglery.

Re:admitted? (1)

maxwell demon (590494) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268331)

That reminds me of the scene in Demolition Man where the policemen desperately try to stop Simon Phoenix by just ordering him to stop ...

Re:admitted? (4, Insightful)

mysidia (191772) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268377)

followed by a fair and impartial trial, was the most effective way to ensure that an admission of guilt (or conviction) was credible and final.

And then they went and screwed it up, by letting interrogators lie -- imply that they had enough evidence to put 'em away for life, and coax the prisoner into confessing under a false pretense that they'll get off with less prison time, than they'd be certain to have if they insisted upon exercising their right to a trial.

Re:admitted? (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267845)

He admitted to his role in 9/11 several months before being captured, in an interview with Al Jazeera.

9/11 and that interview were clearly an amazing publicity stunt to generate hype for his vacuum cleaner design. Slashvertisement was just the next step in his plan. Next week, he'll open up the kickstarter project and the money will start rolling in like an avalanche.

Call me pessimistic, but I expect delays in any delivery date he sets.

All in all, it seems like the ???????????? before PROFIT was "get waterboarded". Who knew?

captcha: gigawatt

Re:admitted? (1)

mysidia (191772) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268393)

9/11 and that interview were clearly an amazing publicity stunt to generate hype for his vacuum cleaner design. Slashvertisement was just the next step in his plan.

Prisoners in general are held to be in the service to the government, while in prison --- so, as if they were an employee, the government gets the rights to their creation, invention, or business.

So if there was a publicity stunt involved, the guy should have designed it first.

Re:admitted? (4, Interesting)

Jah-Wren Ryel (80510) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267923)

nor does it mean he's guilty of the dozens of other crimes that they tortured him into confessing to

To the best of my knowledge he didn't give them jack shit despite being waterboarded around 180 times. For a while there was this pro-torture narrative going around that he "broke" after ~30 seconds of waterboarding when later it turned out that the real story was closer to the CIA gave up waterboarding him after ~30 days of doing it to him 5 times a day and getting nothing.

Our man in havana (4, Funny)

goombah99 (560566) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268017)

Graham Greene rolls over in his grave.

a vacuum? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,17 days | (#44267357)

a terrorist vacuum? i bet that shit sucks...

Re:a vacuum? (1)

maliqua (1316471) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267983)

I grantee that you wont be allowed one of those in your carry on

He Should Be Executed (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,17 days | (#44267369)

Seriously, how is this piece of shit KSM still alive? Why have we not put him to death by firing squad or hung him by now?

This man does not deserve to breath the same air as us. He is an evildoer and a bad bad man.

Re:He Should Be Executed (4, Insightful)

Grave (8234) | 1 year,17 days | (#44267421)

How is he still alive?

Simple. We threw him in Gitmo instead of treating him like the a criminal, and trying him by jury. He'd already have been executed if we would've done that. But since due process was not afforded, we are now paying the bills for keeping him alive. Funny how that worked out for us..

Re:He Should Be Executed (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267467)

He'd already have been executed if we would've done that.

So Gitmo has a use after all. Honestly, the US should become a civilized country and just get rid of the death penalty (which costs more in the long run anyway because they want to make sure that the people they're going to execute are actually guilty, and even then innocent people get executed).

The US is one of the few civilized countries (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268407)

"US should become a civilized country and just get rid of the death penalty..."

Why? so we can be as morally bankrupt as most of Europe and declare that a murderer's life is worth much more than the lives of his innocent victims? That's the statement you make when you have no death penalty; you are saying a few years of a murderer's life spent in confinement balances the scales with the totality of the life removed from the victims.... no thanks. No the "morally superior" Europeans can go back to the business they do best: attempting genocide, building empires, and starting world wars that wipe-out innocent people by the millions.

"... (which costs more in the long run anyway because they want to make sure that the people they're going to execute are actually guilty,..."

Actually, it's very cheap to kill somebody (a few chemicals in an IV drip, a bullet, or a length of rope and a chair, etc.) what's expensive is many years of legal wrangling with expensive lawyers, courts, police, etc and providing meals, healthcare, entertainment, etc to the imprisoned. If we permanently eliminated the death penalty in the US, our army of lawyers (the US has one of the highest ratios of lawyers to non-lawyers in the world) would shift to ending the "evil" of life-without-parole... which would then be called "too expensive" and we'd be treated to tales of the wrongly-convicted rotting-away in prison

"...and even then innocent people get executed)."

Please provide documentation for the thousands of dead wrongly-convicted people in the US. On the other hand, there are documented tens of thousands of innocent murder victims in the US who were killed by convicts who were out on parole. NO system is perfect, but the American justice system has been remarkably good (the bad convictions so rare that they are known by name rather than simply logged by the thousands as the victims of the parolees are) and for all the fear that you might be [a] wrongly arrested, [b] wrongly convicted, and then [c] wrongly lose your court-mandated appeals leading up to a wrong execution, the truth is that you are more likely to be struck by lightning, twice, while wearing a clown costume. You are far more-likely to be murdered by a repeat offender who has been let out of prison (in California approx 70% of all crimes are committed by people who have previously been convicted and have been let out

Wanna not be wrongly imprisoned? Knock the odds down to lower than being killed by a meteor.... it's easy... [1] don't get involved in the drug trade, [2] don't get involved in criminal gangs/mobs, [3] don't try to rob, murder, or rape anybody, [4] if you're gonna drink yourself under the table, do it at home and without any weapon handy... those are some pretty easy guidelines and they're guaranteed to work

Re:He Should Be Executed (1)

interkin3tic (1469267) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267479)

Because he hasn't gone to trial yet. Presumably the powers that be figure that detaining someone forever without trial, but it's another thing to execute a person without trial. In terms of PR if not in terms of ethics.

Re:He Should Be Executed (2, Insightful)

Blaskowicz (634489) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267555)

You sound like he should be burned at the stake, even. Why not. But death penalty is useless, and insanely expensive in the US (which doesn't even prevent innocent niggers from being executed regularly)

I don't know why it still exists in a handful of first world countries. Just abolish it : if anything this tends to prevent backwards comment like yours that call to murder in a legal way.
I'd also rather have war criminals, dictators etc. not face execution when tried. E.g. the likes of Dick Cheney, Tony Blair, Richard Perle et al. should face trial by a international court and imprisonment in my book, but I don't want to kill them. ICC doesn't do it for instance. Killing prime ministers etc. is hairy, this can even give them an exit way like Goering who managed to commit suicide before getting executed.
Life imprisonment is a good enough sentence and even then the maximum sentence could be life imprisonment with no possibility to be freed before 30 years.

Re:He Should Be Executed (3, Insightful)

swiftdr (1713300) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267743)

But death penalty is useless, and insanely expensive in the US (which doesn't even prevent innocent niggers from being executed regularly

innocent niggers? really? was that necessary?

Re:He Should Be Executed (1)

OakDragon (885217) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268163)

This is friggin' hilarious. Racist, but against Dick Cheney and capital punishment, so Slashdot lets him off with a single -1 mod. :)

Re:He Should Be Executed (1)

Blaskowicz (634489) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268225)

I fucked up I guess.

Re:He Should Be Executed (2)

SuricouRaven (1897204) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268255)

The term may usually be considered racist, but his use of it was sarcastic: He was refering to the well-known but somewhat embarassing fact that minorities conficted of crimes in the US tend to recieve much harsher sentences than would a white person convicted of the same crime under the same circumstances.

The country still hasn't entirely gotten over the old racist ways. They are much diminished now, but not eliminated.

Okaaayyy (1)

deburg (838010) | 1 year,17 days | (#44267375)

Now we know who sent the bomb

U.S. nuclear submarine fire linked to vacuum cleaner - http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/06/06/us-usa-submarine-fire-cause-idUSBRE8551DT20120606 [reuters.com]

Re:Okaaayyy (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267803)

Its set us up the bomb. You loose. Turn in you're geek card.

Re:Okaaayyy (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267853)

Uh... I'm not sure if it's some form of intentional humor, but there are at least four errors in your post, including one in your correction:

It's set up us the bomb. You lose. Turn in your geek card.

This is what happens... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,17 days | (#44267383)

When you trust a black man (AKA President Baquack Obamailure) to run the United States of America. If President Bush II was still in office, he would have NEVER let a filthy raghead terrorist design "vacuum cleaners" in prison, and he would have NEVER said that Trayvon Martin was his son. Now we have to worry about this sand nigger profiting from not only the 9/11 attacks, but also from his vacuum cleaner designs, AND we have to worry about all the blacks chimping out in Florida if Zimmerman gets acquitted. Did any white people riot because OJ was acquitted? I don't think so. Black people have brains that are smaller and less efficient than even a human female's brain, and it is no surprise that whenever something doesn't go their way, their ability to function like human beings just disappears, and they start acting like animals. If they were smart, they would've attempted to get some sort of legislation passed that would have altered the Stand Your Ground law so that things like the Trayvon incident would not happen to other people. But nooooo! All the darkies want to do is riot! They want to burn down their own homes and businesses, steal from stores, rape white men (because that is the only way they can be dominant over them), kill white babies, and murder innocent white women in cold blood. http://www.infowars.com/twitter-flooded-with-new-wave-of-riot-threats/

Re:This is what happens... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,17 days | (#44267441)

Thank you, we really needed all of your intellectual commentary.

Re:This is what happens... (1)

khallow (566160) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267745)

My brain swelled three sizes when I read that.

Re:This is what happens... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267489)

What does "chimping out in Florida" mean?

Re:This is what happens... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267707)

...AND we have to worry about all the blacks chimping out in Florida if Zimmerman gets acquitted. Did any white people riot because OJ was acquitted? I don't think so. Black people have brains that are smaller and less efficient than even a human female's brain, and it is no surprise that whenever something doesn't go their way, their ability to function like human beings just disappears, and they start acting like animals.

There is a lot of truth in the above statement. It is not pleasant nor is it politically correct, but
many of us who have lived in the REAL world ( not our mother's basement, which leaves
most of the twits who comment here out ) know this. Ask pretty much any cop when he is off
duty and free to speak his mind without someone overhearing and he or she will corroborate.

The sad truth is that some segments of society are much more likely to be the perpetrators
of violent crime. Statistics bear this out and the government knows this.

The prosecutor in the Zimmerman trial knows that there is no hope of a win with the charge of
second degree murder and that is why the jury has been instructed to consider manslaughter.
Of course no verdict will leave all parties involved satisfied.

I'm convinced that Zimmerman is an idiot who had no business playing cop, and that Martin
was probably an unpleasant street punk in reality. The situation was handled in an idiotic manner
by Zimmerman, and now he is facing the music for his actions. But none of that will bring Martin
back from the dead, and personally I think that is a good thing.

Re: This is what happens... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268047)

This was discussed at length on Slashdot: being jumped and having head hit against the pavement justifies using firearms in self-defense. Being stupid is not a crime, while jumping someone who did not even touch you is.

Re:This is what happens... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268089)

The sad truth is that some segments of society are much more likely to be the perpetrators of violent crime. Statistics bear this out and the government knows this.

It's not true. When you correct for SES (and history and all that), you end up with the numbers that show that commission of crime is the same across all races. But Blacks are punished more harshly for the same act. So they are more likely to re-offend (as is anyone else with the same history). The statistics indicate that the lower the punishment, the lower the crime rate. That breaks most people's common sense, so no politician wants to address the facts. The people won't believe them.

Re:This is what happens... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268161)

OK, so explain how the "lower punishments" that Jerry Sandusky received lowered his crime rate?

Oh, it didn't?

Point made.

Also, what's your opinion on the threats of black people "chimping out" if Zimmerman gets acquitted? How would you feel if they actually did chimp out? Would you think it was appropriate? What if innocent people were injured or killed as a result of the blacks chimping out? Do you think not punishing the blacks guilty of chimping out after the fact would reduce the likelihood of them chimping out in the future? Should we just give them watermelons, bananas, a few cases of Olde English 800, and call it a day?

Wrong date (1)

ChrisMaple (607946) | 1 year,17 days | (#44267389)

4/1

In the course of events - (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,17 days | (#44267399)

The CIA gave the design to the NSA - they would have got it anyway. The NSA realized what they had, how efficient a weapon it really was, and built it.
Now they are using it on everyone and everything.

Obama and KSM, A Love Affair Made In Heaven (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,17 days | (#44267415)

Obama covets KSM above all as his next sexual conquest.

Re:Obama and KSM, A Love Affair Made In Heaven (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267535)

He should. Michelle is boring in bed and reminds you of having sex with a man. I think of her as a black olive oil and popeye is eat;n some spinach.

Mk 1 (5, Funny)

Coditor (2849497) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267445)

If the vacuum starts looking like a giant metal guy with a glowing center light maybe they should rethink this idea.

Internet access? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267485)

Perhaps it was just a ruse for Internet access, or maybe I have just been watching too much Prison Break.

Al-Roomba (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267493)

Al-Roomba, from the creators of Al-Qaida.

Because it takes a scumbag to know dirt!

Re:Al-Roomba (1)

corychristison (951993) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267625)

You know what a scumbag is, right? Its not just a derogatory term.

I've heard... (5, Funny)

Guano_Jim (157555) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267505)

...his design sucked.

Thank you! I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

Re:I've heard... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267653)

...his design sucked.

How do you come up with this stuff?

Thank you!

You're welcome?

I'll be here all week.

That's a damn shame.

Try the veal.

I just had some sushi; I don't want the veal. If I want anything else, I'll look at the deserts menu.

Re:I've heard... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267825)

The deserts menu is rather dry and crunchy ... would not recommend

Re:I've heard... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268263)

Maybe he will stop having dirty little secrets...

Many terrorists are engineers (4, Interesting)

ebno-10db (1459097) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267509)

It's interesting how many terrorists are trained as engineers.

Re:Many terrorists are engineers (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267553)

We ought to require rigorous background checks on all prospective engineering students. It is dangerous to give knowledge of engineering to those who may be terrorists.

Re:Many terrorists are engineers (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267615)

A lot of engineers just have anger issues. Myself and some of my classmates/work friends included, but we've learned the joys of drinking. Islamic rules don't really allow for that if you follow them strictly, so you need other outlets :)

And evil geniuses (4, Funny)

Okian Warrior (537106) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267619)

Doctor Octopus
Doctor Doom
Doctor Evil
Doctor No
Doctor Horrible

It's interesting how many evil geniuses have an advanced degree.

Re:Many terrorists are engineers (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267623)

Know who else are disproportionately engineers? Climate-change deniers.

Re: Many terrorists are engineers (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268401)

And creationists!

I'm fairly sure engineering appeals to that sort of mind, it's not engineering's fault. All the engineers I know are just alcoholics.

Re:Many terrorists are engineers (4, Insightful)

rasmusbr (2186518) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267733)

It's interesting how many successful terrorists are trained as engineers.

Fixed that for you. It is interesting, but it is also unsurprising if you think about it.

Re:Many terrorists are engineers (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267791)

You just blew my mind.

Also, you could replace engineers with "middle-class", or whatever profile the analysts are using these days.

Re:Many terrorists are engineers (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268085)

Probably because the terrorists trained as beauticians didn't get very far.

ha! (1)

sgt scrub (869860) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267515)

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Making things that suck since 1987.

I'd buy one (1)

Tasha26 (1613349) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267523)

I could do with a decent Vacuum cleaner. My old Henry is losing suction and I read horrible reviews about that new Dyson's cyclone blabla, it sucks everything but dust. So what's out there and doesn't suck?

Re:I'd buy one (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267557)

>So what's out there and doesn't suck?
Well.. there's your problem.. You've been asking the wrong question!

Re:I'd buy one (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267819)

Worbs in the Ingliss language can have multiple uses/ meanings. Muppet!

Re:I'd buy one (1)

jd2112 (1535857) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267579)

I read horrible reviews about that new Dyson's cyclone blabla, it sucks everything but dust.

Apparently Microsoft secretly bought out Dyson.

Re:I'd buy one (2)

jamstar7 (694492) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267965)

I read horrible reviews about that new Dyson's cyclone blabla, it sucks everything but dust.

Apparently Microsoft secretly bought out Dyson.

Obviously, they hardcoded DRM into the vacuum cleaner's BIOS then, cause it's borderline useless as a vacuum cleaner. If it indeed did suck, it would be a good design.

Re:I'd buy one (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267631)

Mom, I told you not to interrupt me while I'm cleaning my room!

Re:I'd buy one (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267673)

My old Henry is losing suction [...]

Try fondling his balls, and he might put more effort into it.

Why vacuums keep failing to explode (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267525)

He think vacuum cleaners out to be able to blow up properly.

Obama Sexual Conquest Aborted (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267537)

Mr. Obama is FAIL again.

From RT:
“Snowden, by sincere conviction or for some other reason, considers himself to be a human rights activist, a fighter for the ideals of democracy and human freedom. Russian human rights activists and organizations, as well as their colleagues abroad acknowledge this. For this reason, extraditing Snowden to a country like the US where capital punishment is enforced is impossible,” Peskov explained to press.

I hope to one day live in a democratic country: the USA is NOT a democratic country.

Slow news day I take it? (1)

Oyjord (810904) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267577)

Surely there's something more worthy of our nerdly attention at the moment....

Re:Slow news day I take it? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267831)

And it requires such low comprehension skills, that mostly trolls come comment on it! Sad news day!

Wormold!!!! (1)

MarkvW (1037596) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267607)

Graham Greene LIVES!

YAY!!

Mastermind of 911 is Lying on Beach in Tel Aviv (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267637)

Google "Dancing Israelis"

YOU aFAIL IT (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267657)

use the slin6. Contact to see if the resignation [anti-slash.org] juggernaut either

Life Imitates Art ? (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267675)

Remember the Grahame Greene novel "Our Man in Havana"? The protagonist is a CIA agent who gets tired of his job trying to uncover missile silos and communist plots in Cuba and starts microfilming close-ups of vacuum cleaner schematics and sending those back to Washington.

So now we have a Guantanamo detainee drawing vacuum cleaner schematics? Which are no doubt being photographed and pored over by CIA agents for evidence of terrorist plots.....

Got me.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267677)

I thought Dick Cheney had designed a secret vacuum cleaner

It must mean something... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267689)

It's a message to his accomplices! Quick, rally our forces to the Hoover dam! We may yet make it in time!

grave danger (5, Insightful)

thereitis (2355426) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267701)

It sounds ridiculous, but answering this question, or confirming or denying the very existence of a vacuum cleaner design, a Swiffer design, or even a design for a better hand towel would apparently expose the U.S. government and its citizens to exceptionally grave danger

This kind of hyperbole is what makes people ignore warnings.

Vacuum man. (4, Funny)

Seiken (1315183) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267709)

I think that if you were to overlap all of the schematics, you would find that they are in fact for a mechanized suit designed to break out of jail and also prevent shrapnel from entering his heart, via a magnetic push.

Obviously, (1)

Black Parrot (19622) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267789)

his handlers never watched the first Iron Man movie.

Maybe they're secretive about it because ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267829)

... it was designed to clean up the mess left by 9/11. Could you imagine the fuss that would cause? Some people would treat it as an admission of guilt (seeking redemption through sucking up). To others, it would prove innocence (it was the only way he could show his compassion while behind bars).

Almost all comments so far have failed... (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44267913)

"from the your-snide-response-must-include-the-word-sucks dept."

His contribution to society (1)

mendax (114116) | 1 year,16 days | (#44267931)

Well, there are worse things he can do in his spare time (something he has a lot of in a prison cell) than design a vacuum cleaner. While the world does not need another terrorist since the so-called Third World and American fringe element nut jobs are very good at making those, the world can always use another good vacuum cleaner. My Dyson vacuum cleaner is good but I need one that is powered by a tame black hole for better sucking qualities. Also, with a tame black hole, I won't need to empty the dust container. Perhaps he can design one, even build it, make a mistake and suck himself out of existence!

Wait.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268003)

I thought bin laden was the mastermind? Right? He "admitted" to it? After all, he's the guy that everyone aimed for. When did this change?

I still remember the day I saw on the news where the reporter said he said he didn't do it. Then it changed to him saying it was his idea or whatever.

Need a bit of clarification here.

Can't be worse than a Dyson (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268005)

Strange as it may be sound, after earning a B.S. in Chemical Engineering and a M.S. in Physics, I worked for eleven years as a senior scientist growing synthetic crystals for use primarily in military and medical laser applications. As I worked during the early and mid-90s, I set up a website retailing parts for various household machines including vacuum cleaners (all OSS-based.of course). Because this happened at just the right time during the infancy of the internet, the business took off. By the late 90s I was earning more online than at my "real" job, so I quit and went full-time working for myself. I miss blowing stuff up in the lab, but you go where the money is. Now I have 13 employees, but I still enjoy getting out from behind the computer 50% of the time to do warranty and general repairs on all manner of machines including vacuum cleaners. My dream is to pulverize a Dyson vacuum with a sledge hammer. They're made of the cheapest possible plastic. Parts cost in insane amount of money, and they're a nightmare to repair. Special tools are sold to simply change a belt (http://c.shld.net/rpx/i/s/pi/mp/23438/3117083808?src=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.reversede.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F51NsDuXnccL.jpg&d=7d638a9264fa02aea1c34b59f85f8316ae81342f). No matter how bad you think this guy's vacuum design might be, I can promise that it's mo worse than a Dyson.

His real plan (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,16 days | (#44268007)

Operated in reverse, the vacuum cleaner was an efficient anthrax delivery device.

Danger, my ass (2)

FuzzNugget (2840687) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268115)

Have any number of qualified and competent engineers (good ol' America-loving ones, of course) pick it apart and analyze it. Boom, problem solved.

There's no danger, it's a chickenshit excuse to avoid the negative PR of a "terrorist vacuum cleaner."

Why waste that time... (1)

Martin Spamer (244245) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268425)

Just mark it classified and file it.

In other news... (1)

Fuzzy Viking (1140767) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268305)

CIA is launching the new GuantanaMoBrands Home Appliances

Re:In other news... (1)

mysidia (191772) | 1 year,16 days | (#44268409)

CIA is launching the new GuantanaMoBrands Home Appliances

Well... the prisoners might as well be doing something useful, for all the money being spent to house them. Spending all 8 am to 6pm every day working at a Vacuum cleaner factory in GuantanaMo sounds great to me.

Why should these prisoners get to play all day, when the rest of the population has to work?

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