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Peter Capaldi Unveiled As the New Star of Doctor Who

samzenpus posted about a year ago | from the warming-the-sonic-screwdriver dept.

Sci-Fi 242

Dave Knott writes "After months of speculation since Matt Smith announced that he was exiting the long-running British SF show Doctor Who, the BBC has announced the latest actor who will be taking on the titular role. In a live television announcement, with several previous stars on hand, it was revealed that Peter Capaldi will be portraying the newest incarnation of The Doctor. Capaldi is 55 years old, ending a recent trend towards younger Doctors, and had been flagged by bookmakers as the odd-on favourite in recent days, to the extent that they had suspended betting on the issue. He is best known for his role as the foul-mouthed government bureaucrat Malcolm Tucker on the The Thick Of It and has in fact showed up on Doctor Who previously as a guest star. But now Capaldi is set to take his place in the iconic lead role. To help celebrate the 50th anniversary, and the naming of the next Dr. Who, an ice cream shop put up a 35ft straw Dalek sculpture."

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GET READY.... (0)

MickyTheIdiot (1032226) | about a year ago | (#44471049)

Let the Bitching.......

commence!

Re:GET READY.... (4, Insightful)

lgw (121541) | about a year ago | (#44471075)

No bitching here. I have no idea who this actor is but he has some gray hair in publicity shots so I'm sold. The ever-younger Doctor was moving ever farther from the role I liked - but then, I'm a big fan of the 3rd Doctor, even if his character was a bit of a jerk from time to time. A 55 year old actor get my benefit of the doubt.

Re:GET READY.... (4, Informative)

BeerCat (685972) | about a year ago | (#44471111)

A 55 year old actor get my benefit of the doubt

Strangely enough, Capaldi is about the same age as William Hartnell was when he was the first Doctor. But Hartnell looked a lot older.

Re:GET READY.... (4, Funny)

rtkluttz (244325) | about a year ago | (#44471121)

I don't mind younger or older, either is fine with me. The only gripe I can see in my now 15 second old research of the man I have never previously heard of before is that IMDB has some really unflattering photos of him where he looks positively frail. Shortest lived Doctor ever.... regenerates walk to the first set of stairs falls and breaks a hip and 2 days later regenerates because pneumonia is killing him.

Re:GET READY.... (5, Informative)

erikkemperman (252014) | about a year ago | (#44471207)

Frail? Wait until you hear the man curse. "The thick of it" is essentially the original bbc show that has since branched out to the US as Veep. It is pretty hilarious and Capaldi's Malcolm Tucker is unforgettable in every sense.

Check out this compilation [youtube.com] but be warned of strong language. My favorite quote at 5:20.

Re:GET READY.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471269)

Little pigs... LOL

Re:GET READY.... (1)

egamma (572162) | about a year ago | (#44471953)

I don't mind younger or older, either is fine with me. The only gripe I can see in my now 15 second old research of the man I have never previously heard of before is that IMDB has some really unflattering photos of him where he looks positively frail. Shortest lived Doctor ever.... regenerates walk to the first set of stairs falls and breaks a hip and 2 days later regenerates because pneumonia is killing him.

I'd say he's perfect for the role of the 13th Doctor...the final Doctor [wikipedia.org] .

Re:GET READY.... (1)

David Betz (2845597) | about a year ago | (#44471141)

The 3rd Doctor is my second favorite for sure, mainly because of the age (the 1st Doctor being my favorite, since I'm most like him)..

Re:GET READY.... (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471203)

If you watched Torchwood he was the government official negotiating with the 456 in Children of Earth (Torchwood Series 3).

Re:GET READY.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471563)

He was one of the leads in the funniest show here in years, The Thick Of It.

British political comedy at it's best. Watch it immediately.

Re: GET READY.... (1)

AvitarX (172628) | about a year ago | (#44471643)

He was pretty prominent in a season of torchwood (season three, children of men, on netflix and worth watching that season alone ). Same fake universe as doctor who even.

E-fucking-nough (2)

PopeRatzo (965947) | about a year ago | (#44471757)

"We've fucking time-travelled, yes?"

http://youtu.be/JjAyazqtQj8 [youtu.be]

"We are through the looking glass now, folks. Fuck me."

I might actually start watching Doctor Who if Peter Capaldi's going to be the new Doctor.

Re:GET READY.... (1)

oracleofbargth (16602) | about a year ago | (#44471083)

Don't forget the whining!

I'll bitch... I wanted a bitch. (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471215)

Let the Bitching.......

commence!

I was hoping for a woman Dr. (Yes, "Dr." Yes, I'm abbreviating it! So there!) along the lines of Dr. Donna - maybe even have Catherine Tate some how turn into the Dr. (:-P).

Or This guy - Yeah, the Operative from Serenity [imdb.com] .

Re:I'll bitch... I wanted a bitch. (1)

JustOK (667959) | about a year ago | (#44471301)

It's "Doctor"

Re:I'll bitch... I wanted a bitch. (3, Informative)

SuricouRaven (1897204) | about a year ago | (#44471407)

To clarify: 'Doctor' is indeed his name. Time lords, by their custom, may adopt a new title of their choosing to serve as their name, and from that point on no longer use their old name - though the exact circumstances in which this happens are unclear, it seems to apply predominantly to those who have left Gallifrey or who hold a high rank. The Doctor, the Master, the Rani, the Valeyard, the Corsair.

But he also has a doctorate that would be recognised on earth - honorary, but sufficient to get the title. Thus he may be addressed as 'Dr Doctor.'

He may also be assumed to have graduated from the Academy on Gallifrey with something equal to or greater than a doctorate, as this is a requirement to be a licensed (Since revoked) TARDIS traveler. The time lords don't let just any meddler screw around with time - there's a training course.

Re:I'll bitch... I wanted a bitch. (1)

93 Escort Wagon (326346) | about a year ago | (#44471645)

I'm guessing you'd have kittens if I refer to him as "Doc Who".

Re:I'll bitch... I wanted a bitch. (1)

EvilSS (557649) | about a year ago | (#44471907)

He may also be assumed to have graduated from the Academy on Gallifrey with something equal to or greater than a doctorate, as this is a requirement to be a licensed (Since revoked) TARDIS traveler. The time lords don't let just any meddler screw around with time - there's a training course.

It's actually just a certification: Gallifrey Certified TARDIS Administrator (GCTA).

Re:GET READY.... (4, Interesting)

Seumas (6865) | about a year ago | (#44471359)

I think people have come to respect that choices for the role of the Doctor are pretty much always excellent and second-guessing and pre-judging is useless. I say this as someone that loved Christopher Eccleston and didn't want to like Tennant. Then absolutely adored Tennant's portrayal and was definitely not going to accept the young goofy looking Matt Smith character... and then find myself sad to see Matt Smith go.

Doctor Who is all about the doctor and his companions. They have to be likeable, interesting, compelling. They're the entire point of the show and they realize this - they always choose pretty damn well, even if all of us watching approach every change with skepticism and distrust.

Personally, I'm really excited about Capaldi, even though I have no idea who he is. He looks like someone I won't mind seeing on screen for dozens of hours and I appreciate that they aren't just constantly skewing young. They didn't need to go older for older's sake, but I am really glad they are making a choice other than "twelve year old girls won't watch if we don't make it a semi-cute barely pubescent actor". Variety is the spice of the Doctor. I think I'm going to enjoy this incarnation. Good on them.

Re:GET READY.... (1)

sconeu (64226) | about a year ago | (#44471785)

Smith was probably the most Troughton-like of all the Doctors since Troughton.

Re:GET READY.... (1)

Nov8tr (2007392) | about a year ago | (#44471505)

I am very familiar with him. No bitching at all. I think they made a excellent choice. He has a very long illustrious career going many, many years. TV, movies, series, hell even Dr Who before. Yes I think we are in for a chance in the Doctor's style once again. It will be a interesting ride to see how he handles the series. I will be awaiting his appearance with anticipation. :)

Re:GET READY.... (3, Interesting)

runeghost (2509522) | about a year ago | (#44471557)

I'm glad to see an older Doctor. Matt Smith and David Tennant did brilliant work, but the next Doctor needed to be a step in a different direction.(Personally, I was hoping for a female Doctor, but I'm more than happy with the choice of Peter Capaldi.

Re:GET READY.... (0)

winphreak (915766) | about a year ago | (#44471601)

I was also hoping for a female doctor, but this is a good shift from the past two Doctors. (Please note, this is coming from a new-ish fan, so I have no room to judge with merit.)

Re:GET READY.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471627)

My only bitch is that I've been trying to avoid discovering this news until tomorrow when my kid is back home and it's been impossible.

Re:GET READY.... (1, Insightful)

bloodhawk (813939) | about a year ago | (#44471703)

No bitching from me. He actually seems a good choice after they hit rock bottom with the last doctor and definitely fits in well with what I think the doctor should be.

A new Doctor (1)

Jerry Smith (806480) | about a year ago | (#44471069)

Hopefully it will get a bit more sinister, less shouting and running, better arcs. Can't wait till the Christmas Special :)

Re:A new Doctor (5, Funny)

Alranor (472986) | about a year ago | (#44471101)

Yes, because if there's one thing that Peter Capaldi is known for, it's his habit of never, ever, shouting

Re:A new Doctor (5, Interesting)

wonkey_monkey (2592601) | about a year ago | (#44471171)

He's an extraordinarily versatile actor. I think he might actually be able to pull off not shouting as well.

Mods UP (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471335)

I never have mods point when I need the, l)

Re:A new Doctor (1)

ArchieBunker (132337) | about a year ago | (#44471539)

I loathe all those Christmas specials. They are all basically the same story.

Re:A new Doctor (1)

Denogh (2024280) | about a year ago | (#44471659)

Hopefully it will get a bit more sinister, less shouting and running, better arcs. Can't wait till the Christmas Special :)

They're only replacing the (really good) actor that portrays the Doctor. Moffat is still in control.

Who is this guy? (1)

fustakrakich (1673220) | about a year ago | (#44471077)

I can't find a mug shot or his rap sheet...

Re:Who is this guy? (1)

omz13 (882548) | about a year ago | (#44471113)

I can't find a mug shot or his rap sheet...

Its not that difficult to find him... for starters he's on Wikipedia. Why don't you go lookup "The Thick of It" too, as he played Malcolm Tucker, a most memorable character.

Re:Who is this guy? (1)

sa1lnr (669048) | about a year ago | (#44471143)

You could try clicking on his name in the summary. :)

Re:Who is this guy? (0)

fustakrakich (1673220) | about a year ago | (#44471313)

It was a rhetorical [reference.com] question...

Re:Who is this guy? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471199)

Here's a great sample of some of his best work!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjAyazqtQj8

Re:Who is this guy? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471241)

He looks a bit like a thinner, more angular-faced, evil version of Craig Ferguson. I would have preferred Craig Ferguson.

Re:Who is this guy? (2)

Logger (9214) | about a year ago | (#44471345)

The thought had crossed my mind that I would love Craig Ferguson as the Doctor. "I know!"

Re:Who is this guy? (2)

Grumpinuts (1272216) | about a year ago | (#44471409)

Funnily enough, as a callow youth in Glasgow, he played in a punk band with Craig Ferguson.

Re:Who is this guy? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471615)

That's amusing. Maybe there'll be an arc where they get the band back together.

Re: Who is this guy? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471429)

He is the WHO Doctor in world war z

Re: Who is this guy? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471467)

He is he WHO Doctor on World War Z

Coincidence? (5, Interesting)

meekg (30651) | about a year ago | (#44471079)

IMDB says that in War World Z, he played the character of a Dr. from the W.H.O.
Coincidence?

Re:Coincidence? (1)

meekg (30651) | about a year ago | (#44471085)

Also, he played the same role in World War Z. Yeeesh.

Re:Coincidence? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471183)

You suck dick AND take it the ass. Coincidence?

Re:Coincidence? (1)

hackula (2596247) | about a year ago | (#44471197)

...he played the character of a Dr...

Dr who? (Could not resist)

Re:Coincidence? (1)

TeknoHog (164938) | about a year ago | (#44471677)

Dr. Hu, I presume?

Re:Coincidence? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471795)

Dr. Hu, I presume?

You mean the villain from King Kong Escapes/Kong vs MechaKong?

Re:Coincidence? (2)

wertarbyte (811674) | about a year ago | (#44471665)

Well, did you notice where the WHO research facility is located? It's - of course - based in Cardiff, Wales! The zombie plague probably just swept in through the rift.

Doctor Tucker or Malcolm Who (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471087)

Good morning, my little chicks and cocks.

It's going to be so much fun imagining that its Malcolm Tucker reciting Doctor Who lines.

Re:Doctor Tucker or Malcolm Who (1)

omz13 (882548) | about a year ago | (#44471127)

Indeed. Whenever I watch The Thick of It, Tucker's character always has me in stitches when he goes off on a sweary rant.

Re:Doctor Tucker or Malcolm Who (1)

omz13 (882548) | about a year ago | (#44471149)

And somebody mod parent up... that is actually a quote from the Malcolm Tucker character... as played by Peter Capaldi... and in that role he's infamous for his swearing. Viewers of a gentle-persuasion should not watch it.

Re:Doctor Tucker or Malcolm Who (2)

captain_dope_pants (842414) | about a year ago | (#44471233)

Aye, he'll be a great Doctor...

" D'ye fucking ken who ye're dealing with here? Nae ? Well I'm the fucking Doctor ye alien shite, now get the fuck outta mah sight or I'll beat ye like a red-headed step-bairn ! "

( With apologies to Irvine Welsh )

Oh, and maybe move the time slot for the show to 11pm ;)

Re:Doctor Tucker or Malcolm Who (4, Funny)

nojayuk (567177) | about a year ago | (#44471441)

Capaldi's Glaswegian, not Boston Irish. Don't know why you went with an American dialect rather than something fae Glesca.

Rough translation into Barras Glaswegian -- "Haw, d'ye fuckin' ken who yer fuckin' dealin' way here? Well Ah'm th'fuckin' Doaktur ye bastardin' wee alien ba'heid, noo get fuckin' oota my fuckin' sight afore ah fuckin' stick th' fuckin' heid in ye!"

Doctor Who XII (1)

MacTechnic (40042) | about a year ago | (#44471093)

Now we have a Doctor Who, who has been a real Doctor Fan for a long time! Best Wishes to all Whovians!

Re:Doctor Who XII (3, Interesting)

wonkey_monkey (2592601) | about a year ago | (#44471181)

Now we have a Doctor Who, who has been a real Doctor Fan for a long time!

What, David Tennant doesn't count? Getting into acting was practically an accidental by-product of his life-long quest to be the Doctor.

And... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471271)

Not to mention he married a former's doctor's daughter [dailyrecord.co.uk] (who happened to play his daughter on screen).

Re:And... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471315)

Not to mention he married a former's doctor's daughter [dailyrecord.co.uk] (who happened to play his daughter on screen).

Sigmund Freud would have a field day with that.

Maybe... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471139)

Maybe all the fan girls will stop dry humping the TV set while they pretend they like the series for the story lines.

Re:Maybe... (1)

Jeremy Erwin (2054) | about a year ago | (#44471379)

The Doctor is still going to be the Doctor. He'll just have the appearance of a dirty old man.

Justice is served! (1)

David Betz (2845597) | about a year ago | (#44471155)

Well, for the actor at least. Remember what happened to his character and his entire family in Torchwood? This helps to redeem that injustice in my mind. I do hope they have an episode where this 12th goes meets with that PM in that Torchwood and gives him some poetic justice.

Re:Justice is served! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471185)

He was the best thing on Children of Earth. What a performance!

Re:Justice is served! (1)

Swampash (1131503) | about a year ago | (#44471945)

He was the best thing on Children of Earth. What a performance!

THIS.

Re:Justice is served! (1)

spike1 (675478) | about a year ago | (#44471341)

Alhhh, but karma bites both ways.... Balance out the death of him and his family in torchwood...
With the doctor and donna noble saving him and his family from the volcano at pompeii

Perfect (1)

Shemmie (909181) | about a year ago | (#44471161)

Could easily go on to become one of the best Dr Who's ever.

The best of Malcolm Tucker [youtube.com]

Re:Perfect (1)

Z00L00K (682162) | about a year ago | (#44471275)

Even though I really liked the eccentric doctor played by Tom Baker.

Re:Perfect (2, Insightful)

Shemmie (909181) | about a year ago | (#44471387)

Same here - I loved Tom Baker, and in my head, I'm thinking a Tom Baker-ish, slightly darker Doctor. With a touch more gravitas than Matt Smith.

Re:Perfect (1)

CanadianMacFan (1900244) | about a year ago | (#44471777)

Not a chance the way the writing and stories have been going the past couple of seasons.

W.H.O. Doctor... (1)

flogger (524072) | about a year ago | (#44471179)

Kinda funny that looking at IMDB, he has credits in World War Z as W.H.O Doctor. As long as he talks slower than Matt Smith, I'll be happy.

Meh.... (2)

nine-times (778537) | about a year ago | (#44471205)

I don't love it, but I'll reserve judgment until I see it. I think I mostly don't like the fact that he's already appeared in the series as another character. Sure, Karen Gillan also appeared in a previous episode before becoming Amy Pond, but she was so heavily made up you wouldn't recognize her. They had Eve Myles play different characters, but at least they had a fun little nod to that fact. So maybe it's fine.

I guess I do like the fact that they're going with someone who will probably be darker and less goofy than Smith.

Re:Meh.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471365)

Don't worry.... Colin Baker already took care of the 'appearing in Dr. Who before becoming the Doctor' problem for you

Re:Meh.... (1)

Denogh (2024280) | about a year ago | (#44471701)

I don't love it, but I'll reserve judgment until I see it. I think I mostly don't like the fact that he's already appeared in the series as another character. Sure, Karen Gillan also appeared in a previous episode before becoming Amy Pond, but she was so heavily made up you wouldn't recognize her. They had Eve Myles play different characters, but at least they had a fun little nod to that fact. So maybe it's fine.

I guess I do like the fact that they're going with someone who will probably be darker and less goofy than Smith.

And let's not forget Freema Agyeman playing Martha's cousin a couple of episodes before coming on as Martha Jones.

Damnit! (2)

RussR42 (779993) | about a year ago | (#44471217)

Spoilers!

Was hoping for a woman... (1, Interesting)

Myria (562655) | about a year ago | (#44471219)

I was hoping for a woman this time. Would make for some great antics.

Re:Was hoping for a woman... (1, Troll)

loufoque (1400831) | about a year ago | (#44471253)

You're in the minority.
People want a male doctor.

Re:Was hoping for a woman... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471497)

This is a typical case of equal rights movement gone horribly wrong and so far past the original intention, it has put it on its head.

In other words: That suggestion itself is sexism.

The doctor's whole character is that of a man. Risk over harmony and all that.
The problem is sexist feminists that think those female values and preferences are inferior somehow. *Excuse me, but if you think being a nurse / daycare worker / teacher and wiping people's shit off while staying nice, loving and caring, is an easy job, go fuck yourself*. Or raising children... Undoubtedly the most important job in the history of mankind.

By the way, this is the kind of woman I admire:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m0Vq9pPblE [youtube.com]
Just so you can check your prejudices.

Re:Was hoping for a woman... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471975)

That's quite a brain fart. Did one sentence even follow the next?

Existing Doctor Who actors have said they'd be curious about a woman playing the role. If the people working on the program have no problem with the Doctor being a woman, why should anyone else?

(And Lisa Hannigan is an indie folk singer, not an actress....)

Re:Was hoping for a woman... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471503)

Game Over Man, Game Over!

Interrogative (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471231)

What??

More than just Tucker (4, Interesting)

Coisiche (2000870) | about a year ago | (#44471235)

Okay, he is, now, best known for the Malcolm Tucker role but I remember him better in other roles; the Angel Islington in a BBC adaption of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere (although that show was really stolen by Paterson Joseph's Marquis De Carabas) and as Uncle Rory in the TV adaption of Iain Bank's Crow Road.

And it's kind of nice that the Doctor is portrayed by an actor older than me again. That hasn't happened for a while.

Re:More than just Tucker (1)

Pop69 (700500) | about a year ago | (#44471259)

I still remember him from Local Hero....

Re:More than just Tucker (1)

Tapewolf (1639955) | about a year ago | (#44471427)

Okay, he is, now, best known for the Malcolm Tucker role but I remember him better in other roles; the Angel Islington in a BBC adaption of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere (although that show was really stolen by Paterson Joseph's Marquis De Carabas) and as Uncle Rory in the TV adaption of Iain Bank's Crow Road.

And it's kind of nice that the Doctor is portrayed by an actor older than me again. That hasn't happened for a while.

So, does that make Rory his only non-psychopathic role so far?

Re:More than just Tucker (1)

Titus Groan (2834723) | about a year ago | (#44471657)

also a non-living role. Uncle Rory was dead (except in flashbacks)

Re: More than just Tucker (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471843)

The mini-series Neverwhere came before the book. The book was a novelization of the series.

Dammit (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471279)

Was hoping it would be Idris Elba.

Paradox (1)

Threni (635302) | about a year ago | (#44471323)

He was already in an episode of Doctor Who!

Re:Paradox (1)

wssddc (450574) | about a year ago | (#44471393)

There is precedent. Colin Baker played Commander Maxil in Arc of Infinity a year before becoming the 6th Doctor.

Re:Paradox (1)

Necronomicode (859935) | about a year ago | (#44471413)

And a whole series of Torchwood!

Re:Paradox (1)

Tolkienfanatic (1111661) | about a year ago | (#44471495)

That's the reason I'm not a big fan of this but... oh well, still gonna watch.

Re:Paradox (1)

Swampash (1131503) | about a year ago | (#44471991)

Karen Gillan was in the same episode, later picked to play Smith's companion.

Eve Myles starred in DW S01E03 before playing a role in Torchwood.

Freema Agyeman was in S02E12-13 before playing Tennant's companion.

Sexual Tension (5, Insightful)

gimmeataco (2769727) | about a year ago | (#44471453)

I'm rather excited to see an "older" Doctor. I've grown weary of the "sexual tension" between the Doctor and his recent assistants. Donna Noble was glorious as she/the Doctor so violently opposed to it..

Re:Sexual Tension (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44472001)

So, older people don't have sex?

Clever coincidence (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471513)

Doctor Who, just after his role in World War Z, where he was the W.H.O. Doctor

I am AMAZED that he's white... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471571)

...since the left wing suicidal scum at the BBC are doing their best to make everything 'brown' on their channels. How sickening, the U.K. is being destroyed by millions of third world scum who HATE THEIR OWN PEOPLE and want to live around 'racist' white people more, apparently, and the scum who run the BBC are doing everything they can to help this genocide...

Any chance.... (1)

CanadianMacFan (1900244) | about a year ago | (#44471805)

that this is just a hoax to get the heat off from revealing who the new Doctor is so they created this program to announce the favourite? Then at Christmas the new Doctor is someone that we haven't heard of?

Can someone clarify for me (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44471869)

I thought the Doctor could not regenerate again (I have not seen the latest series). I thought River gave up all of her regenerations to save the Doctor, but the Doctor wouldn't be able to regenerate.

let's hope... (1)

Pax681 (1002592) | about a year ago | (#44471903)

he brings a bit of Malcom Tucker from The Thick of it to the role.... imagine the potential lines such as....

"What the fuck is this omnishambles? a defensive line? IT'S A CLUSTERFUCK OF GARGANTUAN PROPORTIONS!.. now sort it out before i stretch out your fuckign scrotum and use it as a trampoline you dog wanking fuck stick!"

i know it won't happen* but it's a lovely thought!

*he said as much in an interview
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