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Linux 3.12 Codenamed "Suicidal Squirrel"

timothy posted about a year ago | from the ssd-drive-just-couldn't-live-with-itself dept.

Linux 102

First time accepted submitter noahfecks writes "After the Linux 3.11 kernel was codenamed 'Linux for Workgroups' in memory of Microsoft Windows for Workgroups 3.11, Linus Torvalds is using 'Suicidal Squirrel' as the Linux 3.12 kernel codename." Seems only fitting. (The list of kernel names should reflect this soon.)

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trigger warning! (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44828663)

Oh gosh, we need to call it TRIGGER WARNING suicidal squirrel, because if there is one thing I've learned in technology the last three years, it's that you have to say TRIGGER WARNING every time you talk about almost anything.

Re:trigger warning! (2)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about a year ago | (#44828769)

Bah, why 'say' "trigger warning" when we could just have an XML-based, machine readable, semantic tagging mechanism for trigger warnings? Clearly a superior solution.

Re:trigger warning! (1)

Chrisq (894406) | about a year ago | (#44828795)

Oh gosh, we need to call it TRIGGER WARNING suicidal squirrel, because if there is one thing I've learned in technology the last three years, it's that you have to say TRIGGER WARNING every time you talk about almost anything.

You eventually learn to ignore anything with TRIGGER and WARNING with it. I took up shooting as a hobby and the guy down at the gun range did the soma thing - witering on about triggers and warnings but fortunately I am conditioned to ignore the whole thing.

Re:trigger warning! (2)

glavenoid (636808) | about a year ago | (#44829005)

I agree. Now I'm annoyed after having to read yet another corny "alliterative animal" codename and will probably remain in a bad mood all day. Would've been nice to have a warning.

Re:trigger warning! (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829861)

I had a bad experience with Masturbating Monkey.

Re:trigger warning! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829037)

Let us know how that bitter persecution complex works out for you.

Or not.

Re:trigger warning! (1)

KingMotley (944240) | about a year ago | (#44833517)

"SSD Killer" would have been a better codename.

Remember him from an Army incedent (5, Funny)

jfdavis668 (1414919) | about a year ago | (#44828673)

I was driving my tank off a range, when a squirrel ran out in front of us. We weren't going fast, so it took us a while to catch it. It zigzagged back and forth, and finally ran off the trail. At the last second, it dove back under our track. We then warned everyone to watch out for suicidal squirrels.

Barely related question (2)

DoofusOfDeath (636671) | about a year ago | (#44828773)

Is driving a tank as fun as it looks?

Re:Barely related question (5, Interesting)

jfdavis668 (1414919) | about a year ago | (#44828871)

Depends on what you are doing. Driving a tank in a sleet storm at 2 am on a track that can barely be called a road is not fun. Tanks churn up mud and dust, and you get covered with it. Everything on the tank ends up like sandpaper. You constantly bang into hard metal objects. It wears you out. Very dangerous too. My driver drove under a tree we didn't see one night. My only warning was the .50 cal hitting the branches. I ducked, but lost my goggles. Went by there the next day, the goggles were on a branch that would have taken my head off. Overall, when the weather is nice, and you are cruising over open terrain, yes it is fun.

Re:Barely related question (4, Funny)

Xest (935314) | about a year ago | (#44829035)

You were doing it wrong. If I've learn anything from Call of Duty it's that when you're manning the machine gun you just keep your finger down on the trigger and the branch would've just been blown to pieces. It all works okay because as everyone knows you get infinite ammo when you just use the machine gun.

Re:Barely related question (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44844731)

If there's anything I've learned from playing Grand Theft Auto it's that trees are absolutely indestructible, as are telephone poles, and as such no amount of tank fire, rockets, nuclear bombs, or supernova explosions would clear a path. Sorry, but you're just screwed, that tree isn't going anywhere and you can crash into it with the force of a million Saturn V liftoffs, you'll just blow yourself up.

Re:Barely related question (1)

advocate_one (662832) | about a year ago | (#44829311)

could do with a steel bar to be placed vertically to protect the exposed crewman's position when driving at night un-buttoned in areas where there are treess...

Re:Barely related question (1)

jfdavis668 (1414919) | about a year ago | (#44829361)

It would get in the way of the machine guns. You don't want to shoot something that is right in front of you.

Re:Barely related question (1)

jfdavis668 (1414919) | about a year ago | (#44829431)

Also, the turret turns. It doesn't always face the same direction you are driving.

Re:Barely related question (1)

Hoi Polloi (522990) | about a year ago | (#44829845)

What was the worry? You would've just respawned in a few anyway.

Re:Barely related question (1)

perpenso (1613749) | about a year ago | (#44831933)

Depends on what you are doing. Driving a tank in a sleet storm at 2 am on a track that can barely be called a road is not fun. Tanks churn up mud and dust, and you get covered with it. Everything on the tank ends up like sandpaper. You constantly bang into hard metal objects. It wears you out. Very dangerous too. My driver drove under a tree we didn't see one night. My only warning was the .50 cal hitting the branches. I ducked, but lost my goggles. Went by there the next day, the goggles were on a branch that would have taken my head off. Overall, when the weather is nice, and you are cruising over open terrain, yes it is fun.

My Dad was Cavalry in the 1960s. Firepower may have improved but it seems that comfort hasn't changed too much. :-)

Re:Barely related question (1)

animpaul (865113) | about a year ago | (#44829177)

Fun question! It's just like your own roller coaster but without the rails. Thanks to the suspension systems on these babies, plus the fact that you're destined to run cross country, the bobbing and tilting is great. You'll get to know all the sounds: clinking of tracks, engine, the cuss of your fellow occupants as you hit a bump and they drop something into an inaccessible corner of the vehicle. Davis668 is right though, inclement weather sucks. All in all it's a very cool ride. Like bikes are to little kids... in their own heads they're flying.

Re:Barely related question (1)

Ralph Ostrander (2846785) | about a year ago | (#44834675)

Only when your not humping shells.

Re:Barely related question (1)

jfdavis668 (1414919) | about a year ago | (#44836221)

Range walk!

What did the mother squirrel say? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44828895)

Q: What did the mother squirrel say to the little squirrels?

A: Be sure to run both ways when you cross the street.

Re:Remember him from an Army incedent (5, Interesting)

SJHillman (1966756) | about a year ago | (#44828907)

I'm more used to suicidal chipmunks. Had one charge both of my dogs. They were on leashes and wouldn't have caught him if he had gone any other direction but at us. My half-pit bull scooped it up in his mouth, but also being half moron, he didn't know what the hell to do with the damned chipmunk that was now just a tail sticking out out of his mouth. I just gave him a disapproving look and he set the (now slobber covered) chipmunk on the ground gently, where it apparently reconsidered its suicidal tendencies and ran off into the bushes.

Set loose the squirrel! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829545)

Mississippi Squirrel Revival [youtube.com]

US Government = Ms. Bertha Better-Than-You

Re:Remember him from an Army incedent (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44832077)

All he wanted was a Pepsi, but you wouldn't give it to him.

So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44828781)

Hey, it's just this scandinavian guy's 'quirky sense of humour'

No, really, this is a mature platform that will run all our stuff really well with a big saving for the business.

Doesn't sound so mature to me......

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44828983)

This. Take a hint from Microsoft. It would be a lot easier to sell "Windows XP Professional" to my military clients then "Suicidal Squirrel" or "Obnoxious Orangutan".

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (5, Informative)

SJHillman (1966756) | about a year ago | (#44829179)

If you're going to compare codename to codename, then you should have been trying to sell them "Microsoft Whistler", not "Windows XP Professional".

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44828991)

Linux 3.12 sounds professional enough for me.

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829171)

Why on earth would you be telling your boss the CODENAME of the KERNEL of the distro you would be pitching, are you brain damaged or something?

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (4, Insightful)

eu_virtual (994133) | about a year ago | (#44829201)

It's just a code name. Is something like windows longhorn that much better?
Also, no enterprise distro is going to announce they are using suicidal squirrel, so I doubt the boss will see it.

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (1)

idontgno (624372) | about a year ago | (#44829341)

Is something like windows longhorn that much better?

The longhorn [wikipedia.org] is a sacred totem animal [wikipedia.org] to many [utexas.edu] . The longhorn is srs bzns.

In contrast, no one could take a suicidal squirrel seriously. Squirrels, regardless of their sense of self-preservation, and not srs bzns.

Re: So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829425)

"It's just a code name. Is something like windows longhorn that much better?"
Do you seriously need to ask? (The answer is yes.)

Re: So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (1)

SJHillman (1966756) | about a year ago | (#44829493)

It's not even like Longhorn, because Longhorn was at least the codename for the final, complete product consumers would be looking at, the equivalent of which would be the codename for a distro (as opposed to the kernel). It's for developers, not for users or customers. If your customer just needs the Linux kernel and not a distro, odds are they're familiar enough with it to not care.

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (1)

ChrisMaple (607946) | about a year ago | (#44831243)

It's OK, it'll be running on Klamaths and Piledrivers.

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (1)

You're All Wrong (573825) | about a year ago | (#44837913)

Cairo! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cwyq3XWeHE

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (4, Funny)

M. Baranczak (726671) | about a year ago | (#44829977)

Dear AC: Would you be interested in beta-testing our latest enterprise-grade cloud-based fault-tolerant software framework? It's called Broomstick Up The Ass. It sounds like you have experience with similar products, so we'd be delighted to get your input.

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44830349)

Hey, it's just this scandinavian guy's 'quirky sense of humour'

Finland [wikipedia.org] is not part of Scandinavia [wikipedia.org] .

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44832301)

We need to remedy that.

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (1)

ThreeKelvin (2024342) | about a year ago | (#44833479)

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44833659)

Check again.

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (1)

Molochi (555357) | about a year ago | (#44834289)

Somebody must have fixed it.

"While the term Scandinavia is commonly used for Denmark, Norway and Sweden, the term the Nordic countries is used unambiguously for Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Iceland, including their associated territories (Greenland, the Faroe Islands, and the Åland Islands).[18] Scandinavia can thus be considered a subset of the Nordic countries. Furthermore, the term Fennoscandia refers to Scandinavia, Finland and Karelia, excluding Denmark and overseas territories; however, the usage of this term is restricted to geology, when speaking of the Fennoscandian Shield (Baltic Shield)."

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (1)

marcello_dl (667940) | about a year ago | (#44831027)

If the internal codename is a crucial parameter your boss uses to take decisions, I wonder how you are still in business. Unless you're laundering mafia money, that is.

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (1)

Ultracrepidarian (576183) | about a year ago | (#44834145)

I'm certain the car the computer sales guy drove was a major factor in our CEO's choice of a new system.

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (1)

SnarfQuest (469614) | about a year ago | (#44831555)

Don't you recognoze movie titles? Or maybe you just avoid THOSE kind of movies.

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44832001)

Hey, it's just this scandinavian guy's 'quirky sense of humour'

It might be more of a lifestyle choice. ;-)
"The sudden death of a solid-state drive in Linus Torvalds' main workstation has led to the work on the 3.12 Linux kernel being temporarily suspended."
http://hardware.slashdot.org/story/13/09/11/1912225/ssd-failure-temporarily-halts-linux-312-kernel-work [slashdot.org]

Re:So try to tell your boss he should adopt this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44866463)

Why is it that everytime /. posts the new code name for Linux we get this sort of inane reply? Is there an entry for it in the MS Guide for Shills? No kernel, once released is known by its code name, it is known by its version number.

Dead SSD (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44828805)

After yesterday's story about how 3.12 had to stop accepting patches (temporarily) because Linus' SSD died, we should name this one "the dead SSD" instead of secret squirrel or some silly thing.

Re:Dead SSD (1)

jones_supa (887896) | about a year ago | (#44831529)

I guess we can think of the SSD being the "suicidal squirrel".

Isn't that redundant? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44828815)

There are other kinds of squirrels?

See amateurs all the time (1)

coinreturn (617535) | about a year ago | (#44828905)

Around our area, there are squirrels running across the street all the time. We call them suicidal squirrels. But those that survive, we call amateurs. When we see a carcass, we say it's the mark of a professional. I'm happy to say, all the ones that make an attempt in front of my car have been amateurs.

Candy Bar (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44828909)

Thank God they didn't name it after a candy bar. That would be something sleazy and commercial....something Steve Ballmer would do.

Re:Candy Bar (1)

SJHillman (1966756) | about a year ago | (#44828957)

Suicidal Snickers?
Killin' Kitkat?
Manslaughter Mars?
Arson Almond Joy?
Homicidal Heath Bar?
Regicidal Reese's Pieces?
Patricidal PayDay?
Matricidal Milky Way?

Re:Candy Bar (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44830329)

Suicidal Snickers?
Killin' Kitkat?
Manslaughter Mars?
Arson Almond Joy?
Homicidal Heath Bar?
Regicidal Reese's Pieces?
Patricidal PayDay?
Matricidal Milky Way?

Asphyxiating Aero?
Rapid-fire Rolo?
Withering Whatchamacallit?
Toxic Tolberone?
Burning Butterfinger?
Carnivorous Chunky!?
Massacring Mounds?

3.14 (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44828971)

So Linux 3.14 will be codenamed... Pi. amiright?

Re:3.14 (4, Funny)

rgbatduke (1231380) | about a year ago | (#44829033)

No, that would be Linux 3.14.15926535897... oh, did I exhaust the length of the minor version number register?

Re:3.14 (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829257)

Wonder how many just gave you the Raspberry on that?

Kernels have Codenames? (1)

bradgoodman (964302) | about a year ago | (#44829025)

I never knew until I heard about the 3.11 "Linux for Workgroups" thing...

Re:Kernels have Codenames? (5, Informative)

SJHillman (1966756) | about a year ago | (#44829097)

It mostly started with 2.6.x (there were only a couple prior to that with names). A few highlights:

2.6.17-rc6–2.6.17– Crazed Snow-Weasel
2.6.18–2.6.19– Avast! A bilge rat!
2.6.20-rc2–2.6.20– Homicidal Dwarf Hamster
2.6.22-rc3–2.6.22-rc4 Jeff Thinks I Should Change This, But To What?
2.6.23-rc7–2.6.23–2.6.24– Arr Matey! A Hairy Bilge Rat!
stable: 2.6.24.1– Err Metey! A Heury Beelge-a Ret!
2.6.25-rc2–2.6.25– Funky Weasel is Jiggy wit it
2.6.34-rc5-2.6.34–2.6.35 Sheep on Meth
stable: 3.9.6– Black Squirrel Wakeup Call

Full List: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Linux_kernel_names [wikipedia.org]

Re:Kernels have Codenames? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829375)

They're trying to attract more millennials.

Re:Kernels have Codenames? (2)

NatasRevol (731260) | about a year ago | (#44829497)

Or sheep on meth.

Oh, same thing.

Re:Kernels have Codenames? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44830095)

How can you POSSIBLY forget mentioning the best of the bunch?:

2.6.28-rc7–2.6.28–2.6.29-rc8 Erotic Pickled Herring

Now that's a name worthy of praise.

Re:Kernels have Codenames? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44830929)

I vaguely remember a 2.4 kernel version being called greased-turkey.

Re:Kernels have Codenames? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44832633)

Correct. Precisely, it was 2.4.15.

next one (1)

slashmydots (2189826) | about a year ago | (#44829073)

Rumor is, they're breaking off from the animals after S for the next one and just going with Linux: Tonka Tough!

choose your own adventure (1)

Gravis Zero (934156) | about a year ago | (#44829193)

You, Squirrel, are walking across the suspension bridge when you realize a Crazed Snow-Weasel, Homicidal Dwarf Hamster, Nocturnal Monster Puppy, Killer Bat of Doom, Man-Eating Seals of Antiquity, Sheep on Meth, Flesh-Eating Bats with Fangs and a Saber-toothed Squirrel [wikipedia.org] are behind you.

To stand and fight, turn to Page 87 of DOOM!
To squeal like a little school girl, turn to Page 91 of PAIN!
To jump off the bridge and hope for the best, close book and cry.

Squirrel has had a rough life, no wonder he wants to end it.

Anti-marketing names (1)

BitZtream (692029) | about a year ago | (#44829231)

Good job, at least marketing isn't going to pick up these code names and use them for crap they shouldn't.

How out of character (1)

eyenot (102141) | about a year ago | (#44829313)

You'd think the guy would call it Piece of Shit Jackoff Suicidal Squirrel or Suicidal Squirrels in Your Sorry Excuse For a Programmer's Mother's Anus or something similar.

I ran over the Linux Kernel the other day... (1)

intermodal (534361) | about a year ago | (#44829469)

and had no idea I hadn't escaped the tech world for my commute home!

Re:I ran over the Linux Kernel the other day... (2)

Ioldanach (88584) | about a year ago | (#44830081)

Next time be sure to add a backslash at the beginning of your commute.

Offensive name (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829485)

The name is offensive to anybody who's lost someone from suicide or has dealt with suicidal thoughts.

Torvalds might have used "Rapey Rat", "Stillborn Salmon", "Molested Meerkat", "Down-syndrome Duck". They are all as offensive.

No wonder people can't take Linux seriously. I thought the animal based names were childish, and now they are childish and offensive.

Re:Offensive name (1)

clarkn0va (807617) | about a year ago | (#44832089)

This name is offensive to anybody who takes offense to it. My brother drowned, and should Linus choose to call a future release "Drowned Rat", I don't think I will lose a single minute of sleep over it, or think any differently of the product.

Re: Offensive name (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44836241)

Speaking as somebody who has lost family to suicide, while I won't be "losing sleep" over the codename, it is definitely insensitive and childish and having a release with that codename isn't going to do Linux any favors in terms of publicity.

Re: Offensive name (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44839113)

What's insensitive about small animals apparently lacking in self-preservation department and darting across the road right in front of cars, climbing in the powerlines, diving in the chimneys et cetera?

Somehow I don't think you, or anyone else, lost your family to a senseless battle with lawnmower. Get off your high horse.

Next up - people like you showing up in comments about Nokia's (say) suicidal behaviour and demanding to retract the s-word.

Re: Offensive name (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44840543)

What's insensitive about small animals apparently lacking in self-preservation department and darting across the road right in front of cars, climbing in the powerlines, diving in the chimneys et cetera?

Nothing. On the other hand, calling your kernel release "suicidal squirrel" is definitely insensitive.

Re: Offensive name (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44841229)

"Definitely"? You are unable to discern between squirrels not being sticklers to traffic laws and people who couldn't bear it anymore, so you try to project it on others?

I'll ask again, how far are you going to stretch you willingness to get offended on some unknown people's behalf? You sure as hell aren't voicing my opinion, and I did lose cousin to that.

The name is dedicated to... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829499)

people who don't back up their ssd drives

Smell the Onion (2)

Sponge Bath (413667) | about a year ago | (#44829655)

Onion Headline from 2002: "Road-Kill Squirrel Remembered as Frantic, Indecisive"

Reminds me of this (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829659)

Evil Mutant Attack Squirrel of Death

I never dreamed that slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did I suspect....

I was on Brice Street- a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it- it was that close.

I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.

Animal lovers never fear- squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves! Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his beady little eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leaped! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, “ BANZAI!” or maybe, “Die, you gravy-sucking heathen scum!” The leap was nothing short of spectacular...

He shot straight up, flew over my windshield and impacted me squarely on the chest. Instantly, the set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have sworn he had brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in alight t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street, and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing... I grabbed at him with my left hand. After a few misses, I finally managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off to the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristine kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. But, this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary angry squirrel.

This was an EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH!!

Somehow, he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands and, with the force of the throw, swung around and with a resounding thump and considerable impact landed squarely on my back. There he resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him! The situation had not improved. Not improved at all.

His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled, to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result: TORQUE. This is what the Valkyrie is made form and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared and the front wheel left the pavement.

The squirrel screamed in anger.
The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy.
I just plain screamed.

Now picture a large man on an huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, and roaring at maybe 50 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street on one wheel, with a demonic squirrel of death on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder. With the sudden acceleration, I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars to try to get control of the bike.

This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody’s tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle... My brain was simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little effect gainst the massive power of the big cruiser.

About this time the squirrel decided I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he was an evil mutant NAZI attack squirrel of death) and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my full-face helmet with me.

As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite sure my screaming changed in intensity. It had little effect on the squirrel, however. The RPM’s on the Valkyrie maxed out since I was not bothering with shifting at the moment, so her front wheel began to drop.

Now, picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged worn t-shirt, one leather glove, roaring at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel’s tail sticking out of a mostly closed full-face helmet. By now, the screams are probably getting a little hoarse..

Finally I got the upper hand- I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked- sort of. Spectacularly sort-of.. So to speak.

Picture a new scene: You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork.

Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing only one leather glove, moving at probably 80 mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by, and with all his strength, throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.

I heard screams.

They weren’t mine.

I managed to get the big motorcycle under control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at a stop sign at a busy cross street.

I would have returned to ‘fess up, and to get my glove back. I really would have. Really... Except for two things. First, the cops didn’t seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. When I looked back, the doors on both sides of the patrol car were flung wide open. The cop from the passenger side was on his back, doing a crab walk into somebody’s front yard, quickly moving away from the car. The cop who had been driving was standing in the street aiming a riot shotgun at his own police car. So, the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to “Let the professionals handle it” anyway.

That was one thing.

The other?

Well, I could clearly see shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery from the back seat. But I could also swear I saw the squirrel in the back window, shaking his little fist at me.

That is one dangerous squirrel.
And now he has a patrol car.
A somewhat shredded patrol car, but it was all his.

I took a deep breath, switched on my turn signal, and made a gentle right turn off of Brice Street, and sedately left the neighborhood. I decided it was best just to buy myself a new pair of gloves. And a box of band-aids.

Favorite one. (1)

Dishevel (1105119) | about a year ago | (#44829817)

My Favorite is

2.6.21 Nocturnal Monster Puppy.

Linus is losing it (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829835)

Random outbursts, excess 'Finnish humor', violent threats, lackadaisical backup management, and now this - putting the word 'suicidal' right in the name of Linux.

Dude needs to take a few years off.

Re:Linus is losing it (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44835629)

This keeps coming up, I don't get it, the Finns don't HAVE a sense of humour, they're like the Swiss in that.

Bavarians, now THEY have a sense of humour, why else would they call their capital city Munchen?????

Any CNE's out there? (2)

Snospar (638389) | about a year ago | (#44829841)

I was hoping for a Novell Netware reference. No one else remember 3.12? None of your remote server support in those days!

Re:Any CNE's out there? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44832323)

DEADBEEF?

Re:Any CNE's out there? (1)

Snospar (638389) | about a year ago | (#44832395)

FEEDFACE

Re:Any CNE's out there? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44832879)

That was a great OS for its time.

Phoronix-warning (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44829895)

Nice to see that a Phoronix-link is now submitted non-anonymously and it this trend continues, one can filter these if so pleases. On a tablet one can not see if the link clicked was to a goats..phoronix before clicking.

Long press to see target URL (1)

tepples (727027) | about a year ago | (#44835767)

On my tablet I can long press to see the target URL.

Relatively Common entanglements with power lines (1)

cant_get_a_good_nick (172131) | about a year ago | (#44831011)

About once a year a kamikaze squirrel takes out a transformer here and takes out power to a few blocks. It hit us when we moved in. The power failure ruined a new fridge worth of food for our neighbors

Linux 3.14 (1, Funny)

cbreak (1575875) | about a year ago | (#44831043)

Linux 3.14 should be Codenamed "Pi"

There goes an Ubuntu name... (1)

tlhIngan (30335) | about a year ago | (#44831163)

Great, now what are they going to call it? It's only a few letters away now.

Unless for kicks Ubuntu is going to bundle 3.12 with their S version...

Re:There goes an Ubuntu name... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44833913)

It's already call Saucy Salamander.

Electrifying Squirrel (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44831637)

We had a squirrel take out a transformer next to our building, thus taking the power to the server room. It was a glorious time to perform an impromptu UPS test!

Lemming? (1)

mindwanderer (1169521) | about a year ago | (#44832283)

I take it 'Lemming' was deemed to not have enough dramatic flair. Leaping Lemming?

Sony owns Lemmings (1)

tepples (727027) | about a year ago | (#44835783)

That or Sony owns the name "Lemmings" (and other names that are similar enough) for software.

Odd? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44833051)

Was it named "Suicide Squirrel" in memory of his insistence that hard drives are the devil and from satan and SSD drives are all the rage only to have his SSD die a couple days ago taking most of his kernel work with it? Karma can be a bitch especially if you don't have a RAID setup or some other method of backing up your work.

The accompanying picture (1)

Mister Liberty (769145) | about a year ago | (#44834225)

Here's the accompanying picture of a suicidal squirral on
an obstacle course.

Note this the extremely shy European red squirrel, not your
average USA chipmunk.

Enjoy.

http://bjdouma.home.xs4all.nl/eekhoorntje.png [xs4all.nl]

who cares (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44834265)

is this even news????? who cares about linux codename?

Am I the only one to find it a tad strange? (0)

Derec01 (1668942) | about a year ago | (#44834341)

I'm not usually a big proponent of what might be called 'political correctness' but I am a proponent of not being a cad.

In small circulation, you know everyone and they can tell you upfront if a name like this bothers them. But for wide circulation, it seems in slightly bad taste to name it after a pretty tragic act. I guess I would see the names Genocidal Giraffe, Raping Raccoon, or Junkie Jellyfish in a similar light.

Yes, I had fun coming up with those names, but I'm not naming a kernel version!

Ah well. Controversy brings attention I suppose.

Ugh, more Torvalds cultism (1)

musth (901919) | about a year ago | (#44835111)

The cutesy names don't erase the abusive personality.

Suicidal Squirrel?? (1)

davetv (897037) | about a year ago | (#44838003)

It should have been named "Suicidal SSD"
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