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Charles Carreon Finally Surrenders To the Oatmeal

timothy posted about 10 months ago | from the getting-off-easy dept.

The Courts 173

First time accepted submitter Guy From V writes "Charles Carreon, zany lawyer and poster-child for the Streisand Effect (sorry Babs) for his lawsuit against The Oatmeal creator Mattew Innman last year in his original role as legal counsel for Funnyjunk, as reported by ArsTechnica, seems to have finally called it quits. In other news, the River Styx has reportedly dropped below 32 degrees Fahrenheit."

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173 comments

Warning! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44894777)

I will sue anyone who mocks me in this thread! - CC

Re:Warning! (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44894879)

Oh Charlie Chaplin, why would anyone mock your hilarious antics?

Re:Warning! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895401)

Dear Chaplin Stop.

Re:Warning! (4, Funny)

K. S. Kyosuke (729550) | about 10 months ago | (#44894919)

I will sue anyone who mocks me in this thread! - CC

Don't worry, you're not the guy with the funny junk. (Or are you?)

Can't wait to read the Oatmeal's take on this (5, Funny)

Xaedalus (1192463) | about 10 months ago | (#44894787)

Hopefully it involves Sriracha, bears, and blasphemous sexual positions.

Re:Can't wait to read the Oatmeal's take on this (2)

CCarrot (1562079) | about 10 months ago | (#44894831)

Hopefully it involves Sriracha, bears, and blasphemous sexual positions.

Not to mention yo' mamma...well, Carreon's mamma, at any rate :)

Re:Can't wait to read the Oatmeal's take on this (2)

Hognoxious (631665) | about 10 months ago | (#44894987)

Carreon's mamma, at any rate

Now now, there's no need to crow...

Re:Can't wait to read the Oatmeal's take on this (2)

Guy From V (1453391) | about 10 months ago | (#44895089)

Hawk that pun somewhere else, pal...I'm reporting you for attempted murder.

Re:Can't wait to read the Oatmeal's take on this (1)

game kid (805301) | about 10 months ago | (#44895459)

Well you haven't exactly avoided being a humor cheepskate.

Re:Can't wait to read the Oatmeal's take on this (1)

Xaedalus (1192463) | about 10 months ago | (#44895509)

And you're not helping any with that snipe.

Re:Can't wait to read the Oatmeal's take on this (2)

gstoddart (321705) | about 10 months ago | (#44894849)

Hopefully it involves Sriracha, bears, and blasphemous sexual positions.

LOL ... pics, or it didn't happen.

Too bad (5, Funny)

SoupGuru (723634) | about 10 months ago | (#44894841)

That's too bad. It was very entertaining to watch Mr. Carreon find new and innovative ways to dig his hole deeper and deeper.

Re:Too bad (3, Informative)

khasim (1285) | about 10 months ago | (#44895011)

It's still going on. From TFA:

I never thought that people would say things about me that they did.

Mean people say mean things about him.

If you'd like to see a picture of Carreon's criticsâ"including an Ars Technica writerâ"spewing fecal matter out of their mouths, that too can be accommodated.

But that's okay because ... because ...

My goal is to help people to realize that youâ(TM)re not the only person who gets rapeutated.

... because I'm the victim.

Rapeutated. Heh heh heh. Get it?

I bet that he'll be digging that hole for years to come. Just not as expensively as before. Yet.

Re:Too bad (3, Insightful)

PopeRatzo (965947) | about 10 months ago | (#44895537)

Rapeutated

I just registered "rapeutated.com".

Impressive... (5, Informative)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about 10 months ago | (#44894853)

Despite being the one who got the ball rolling with the vexatious litigation and absurd threats in the first place, he appears to have learned absolutely nothing from the experience, blaming his failure on the fact that he doesn't have sufficient 'legal remedy' against people calling his idiocy idiotic online, and even manages to drop in a self-pitying line about how lawsuits are just occupying too much of his time.

Guy is so dense and immutable that he could probably be sliced into thin layers and used as armor plate.

(And, since he is a master of good taste and his wife is even crazier, they've given the world http://rapeutation.com/ [rapeutation.com] complete with caricatures (and the guy complains that there aren't enough laws against saying mean things on the internet?) of their enemies. Class act guys, class act.)

Re:Impressive... (5, Funny)

Vanderhoth (1582661) | about 10 months ago | (#44894947)

Guy is so dense and immutable that he could probably be sliced into thin layers and used as armor plate.

I don't think there's a laser, or any other tool, powerful enough to slice material that dense. Your best bet would be to tie him to the front of a tank and use him to ram things.

Re:Impressive... (5, Funny)

gstoddart (321705) | about 10 months ago | (#44894997)

Your best bet would be to tie him to the front of a tank and use him to ram things.

Hmmm ... I like your ideas, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

We could use lawyers for car bumpers, that would save them having to chase the ambulances.

You may be onto something here.

Re:Impressive... (1)

I'm New Around Here (1154723) | about 10 months ago | (#44895905)

How about the spare tire in a truck? You know, the type that are bolted underneath the bed. Just leave them there until needed, still full of hot air of course.

Re:Impressive... (2)

91degrees (207121) | about 10 months ago | (#44895067)

Bear in mind, he's a lawyer. His job involves selling an argument and he's rarely concerned with who's actually in the right. This is just rhetoric.

Re:Impressive... (3, Insightful)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about 10 months ago | (#44895235)

Bear in mind, he's a lawyer. His job involves selling an argument and he's rarely concerned with who's actually in the right. This is just rhetoric.

I'm hesitant to dismiss him as insincere just because of the sheer, utter, insanity (from the perspective of, say, a value-rational human being who wants to make money by being a lawyer) of his behavior in pretty much all aspects of the case beyond the first opening shot or two (where he might actually have been writing demand letters for a client, just a day on the job).

A good con-man knows when to skip town(which was a hell of a long time ago in this case, there were plenty of situations where he could have just backed down and let the internet's almost-nonexistent attention span solve the problem for him; but instead he doubled down on the crazy). It's possible that Carreon is just a bad con-man; but that level of not knowing when to skip town reeks of a true believer.

Re:Impressive... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895757)

"Bear in mind"

heh heh

Re:Impressive... (1)

cream wobbly (1102689) | about 10 months ago | (#44895821)

Dammit you beat me to it.

Re:Impressive... (1)

cream wobbly (1102689) | about 10 months ago | (#44895815)

"Bear" in mind. Haha. I think.

Re:Impressive... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895207)

If you make a habit of taking of all your clothes and yelling "Fuck me!Fuck me!Fuck me!" and then do so on stage in a packed auditorium, it doesn't retroactively become rape when everyone calls you a slut.

Rapeutation is a term as idiotic as he is.

Re:Impressive... (2)

imidan (559239) | about 10 months ago | (#44895807)

Yeah, the poor guy. He dedicates considerable text to repeatedly pointing out his "Buddhism" and how enlightened he is. But over the course of the whole year-long experience, he never gives any indication of actually learning anything about either himself or the world around him. He tells an anecdote about getting into a physical fight with some road-rager, and he seems to completely miss the fact that the altercation was utterly pointless, and that his enlightened self should have been able to eventually figure that out.

He seems to spend all of this time trying to come up with justifications for attacking a guy for making a stupid comic featuring his "mom", without it ever occurring to him that this fight is completely pointless--that if he just ignores the thing, it will all go away, and nobody will care about it anymore.

He also bloviates profoundly about Sun Tzu and how his whole revenge-litigation personality is actually based on wise and ancient strategies of war, and how the lyrics to some songs are just like his life, man.

There's nothing wrong with being a lawyer, but if you're going to be an aggressively nasty, sleazy one, just own up to it. This ugly episode was not a poetic trial sent by ancient gods. It was just him being a jerk.

Re:Impressive... (0, Troll)

Talderas (1212466) | about 10 months ago | (#44896215)

it is suggested that Buddhism attracts the mentally unstable.

Re:Impressive... (1)

interkin3tic (1469267) | about 10 months ago | (#44895879)

What confounds me is why the PR effort to save face? Why not openly admit what you greedily tried to do and that you failed? It's not like that's going to change anything. The court isn't going to say "Oh, well given your graceful press statement after the ruling, we're going to reconsider somethings. Case REOPENED!"

If he had said "Yeah, we tried to steal and then sue when we got called out for it," would the courts have disbarred him? (Honest question, that).

Come on Slashdot (0, Flamebait)

alexborges (313924) | about 10 months ago | (#44894865)

Enough with this farenheit crap. Nobody in the world uses that dumb scale.

Re:Come on Slashdot (1)

MightyYar (622222) | about 10 months ago | (#44894913)

We do!

Re:Come on Slashdot (2)

NoNonAlphaCharsHere (2201864) | about 10 months ago | (#44894969)

OK, that's 273.15 Kelvin. Feel better?

Re:Come on Slashdot (1)

HornWumpus (783565) | about 10 months ago | (#44895187)

Use Rankine you dolt. Kelvin is almost Celsius.

Re:Come on Slashdot (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895507)

23.538 meV. Boltzmann's constant should be unity.

Re:Come on Slashdot (1)

I'm New Around Here (1154723) | about 10 months ago | (#44895935)

That's my problem with Kelvin. Why not make it its own scale, tied to something other than the phase-change of water?

Re:Come on Slashdot (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895695)

Kelvin is just as arbitrary as Fahrenheit.

He's at about 1.927 * 10^-30 Planck temperature.

Re:Come on Slashdot (5, Funny)

sexconker (1179573) | about 10 months ago | (#44895771)

OK, that's 273.15 Kelvin. Feel better?

My home town nearly went to zero Kevins back in 1978.

It was a particularly cold winter, and we were already down to 3 Kevins (due to their low popularity at the time).

Kevin Thomas had flown out to be with his son's family for a wedding and got stuck in Boston for a whole week due to the weather. 2 Kevins left.

Kevin Lemmer was rushed to the hospital during my shift. I still remember the call from the EMTs as the ambulance was rushing toward us. "It's Lemmer. He's in bad shape. Drove right into the fucking ditch." We called the time of death at 6:15 PM.

At 6:16, all eyes turned to room 2217. Kevin Spencer was 82 and on his death bed with leukemia. His family being Catholic, he had already been given his last rites. If he couldn't hold out until Kevin Thomas returned, we would be at zero Kevins. Sure, we had 4 perfectly healthy Calvins, but they're just not the same.

It was 7:15 when Carla Brooks and her husband James burst through the main entrance. "She's not due for 2 weeks!", James exclaimed. As the staff bustled around getting the Brookses settled, they exchanged darting glances with each other. This was their first child, and they wanted to keep the baby's sex a secret. Of course, in a small town, secrets don't get kept. Nearly all of the hospital staff new that the child about to rip open Mrs. Brooks was indeed a boy.

The delivery was routine, and Kevin Brooks was born healthy, if a tad underweight, at 10:52 PM. Kevin Spencer was pronounced dead at 10:54.

It was, as they say, a close one. Kevin Thomas arrived two days later, the weather having finally cleared up. To this day, we still rib him about it.

Cedar Falls is currently at 5 Kevins.

Re:Come on Slashdot (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895999)

Cool story bro

Re:Come on Slashdot (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895321)

You realize it's there simply to allow you to make this same point over and over and over and over and over, and you fall for it again and again and again and again . . .

But if you insist: 491.67 Kelvinheit.

Re:Come on Slashdot (1)

AK Marc (707885) | about 10 months ago | (#44896321)

But what's that in Rankine?

Quite the Buddhist there... (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44894881)

The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself!"

Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked 'em up.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (0, Flamebait)

NoNonAlphaCharsHere (2201864) | about 10 months ago | (#44895047)

No, that's Republicanism.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895255)

No, that's Republicanism.

Better than "Gimmee GIMMEE GIMMEE!!! Mo' free money from the govmint" Democrats.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (3, Insightful)

Jeff Flanagan (2981883) | about 10 months ago | (#44895395)

You know that's not true, and is just another Republican malfunction. It's actually really good that the Republicans live in a fantasy world made of straw-men though, it means they'll be on the scrap-heap of history very soon outside of the deep south.

We need a second party to counter the Democrats, but the Republicans are too far gone for that role.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (2)

DMiax (915735) | about 10 months ago | (#44895847)

In the unlikely case this happens, may I respectfully suggest that you get a left party for a change?

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (1)

HornWumpus (783565) | about 10 months ago | (#44896029)

We have left parties. Nobody votes for them. We study history in the USA. You should try it.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (2)

HornWumpus (783565) | about 10 months ago | (#44895209)

You can't bring someone else's soul to enlightenment. Sounds like 'Every man for himself' to me.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (4, Informative)

gstoddart (321705) | about 10 months ago | (#44895417)

You can't bring someone else's soul to enlightenment. Sounds like 'Every man for himself' to me.

Well, we're getting pretty far off topic, but two things:

1) Buddhism doesn't have a concept of the 'soul' in the same way as Western religions. The thing which would get reincarnated/lasts after you die isn't "you", but you're a subset of "it" and much more transient. The concept of self and what survives human life is a little different.

2) There's two major schools of Buddhism (and this is a very huge over-simplification): Therevada and Mahayana Buddism; with Theravada being more focused on your own enlightenment (for the reasons you cite), and Mahayana (literally 'the greater oxcart') which has an emphasis on enlightenment of everyone and helping them get there.

So, talking about bringing someone's 'soul' to enlightenment doesn't quite match up with the concepts in Buddhism.

Working to bring other people to enlightenment and benefit all, however, is a feature of all the Mahayana schools (Chan Buddhism in China, Zen in Japan, and all of the Tibetan schools). The Theravada stuff tends to be in and around Thailand/Vietnam.

But it is important to remember Buddhism isn't monolithic, and while they'll agree on some core stuff, there's probably some esoteric places where they differ by quite a bit.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (2)

HornWumpus (783565) | about 10 months ago | (#44895491)

Fair enough.

'Every man for himself' is the central message of Therevada Buddhism!

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (1)

gstoddart (321705) | about 10 months ago | (#44895567)

'Every man for himself' is the central message of Therevada Buddhism!

LOL ... not really.

This [urbandharma.org] might help:

Some people imagine that Theravada is selfish because it teaches that people should seek their own salvation. But how can a selfish person gain Enlightenment? Both schools accept the three Yanas or Bodhis but consider the Bodhisattva ideal as the highest. The Mahayana has created many mystical Bodhisattvas while the Theravada considers a Bodhisattva as a man amongst us who devotes his entire life for the attainment of perfection, ultimately becoming a fully Enlightened Buddha for the welfare of the world, for the happiness of the world.

It makes for a good joke, but it's a little more nuanced than that.

I believe what you're essentially debating is a Simpson's quote.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (1)

HornWumpus (783565) | about 10 months ago | (#44895691)

It's a quote directed at Otto in 'A Fish Called Wanda'.

Note my sig. Another Otto quote.

Otto was cool.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (1)

UnknownSoldier (67820) | about 10 months ago | (#44895657)

How are you supposed to help others free themselves if you still aren't free ?

The greatest good is to first help yourself then you will be free to help others. Plus you know _exactly_ what they are going through having overcome it yourself. You will be in a much better position to relate and empathize with people.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (4, Insightful)

narcc (412956) | about 10 months ago | (#44896057)

Sorry for the horrible analogy:

Oxygen and the air pressure are always being monitored. In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally. Although the bag does not inflate, oxygen is flowing to the mask.If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your own mask first, and then assist the other person. Keep your mask on until a uniformed crew member advises you to remove it.

Now for some Teutonic ponderings (1)

zooblethorpe (686757) | about 10 months ago | (#44895723)

Fair enough.

' Every man for himself ' is the central message of Therevada Buddhism!

... and God against all!

(See Werner Herzog's film, Jeder für sich und Gott gegen alle [imdb.com] . More details at Wikipedia: 1 [wikipedia.org] , 2 [wikipedia.org] . Ah, the boisterous joy of German cinema...)

Cheers,

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (1)

DexterIsADog (2954149) | about 10 months ago | (#44895617)

Thanks for the lucid, detailed explanation. That was quite thoughtful.

So, what have we learned? That Buddhism has schisms just like every other religion, and that it's just as batshit crazy as the others.

It's my impression that they don't wantonly kill people with opposing viewpoints as casually as those of other religions (I'm looking at you, Abraham-derived subsets, you know who you are), but I could be wrong.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (1)

HiThere (15173) | about 10 months ago | (#44895733)

Not as often...but IIRC there was a period in China when the various monastic orders had their own private armies and acted like warlords. Eventually the central government put that down, and forbid the monks to carry arms. That's when the various schools of bare handed martial arts began to evolve.

Re:Quite the Buddhist there... (1)

gstoddart (321705) | about 10 months ago | (#44895743)

So, what have we learned? That Buddhism has schisms just like every other religion, and that it's just as batshit crazy as the others.

That's an interpretation, and you're entitled to it. At its core, Buddhism mostly boils down to "play nice with others, and don't saddle yourself with extra baggage by being an asshole". Nothing inherently crazy about that.

It's my impression that they don't wantonly kill people with opposing viewpoints as casually as those of other religions (I'm looking at you, Abraham-derived subsets, you know who you are), but I could be wrong.

I've certainly never seen anything in favor of it, and we certainly have seen examples of competing groups of monks in Thailand basically fighting over who controls temples (and the corresponding revenues). What's happening in Burma is another example of that, where it's become a "Buddhist v Muslim" thing.

There are certainly prohibitions against killing and the like, and I have no idea how people justify some things in the name of being Buddhists (or anything really).

The problem with humans, is you could take literally almost anything, and have it divide you up into "us and them", and then the human inclination to say "well, fuck them" comes into play.

To be perfectly honest, I've seen discussions about emacs vs vi almost devolve into fist fights because the emacs guys can't see they're wrong. ;-) So, over time, any group is entirely capable of giving themselves such a narrow interpretation of the things they claim to believe in, to the point that they'd be willing to basically violate all of their supposed beliefs.

My conclusion from this is humans are idiots.

Re: Quite the Buddhist there... (1)

tinkerghost (944862) | about 10 months ago | (#44895499)

You are supposed to help those on the path to enlightenment. Just because you can't lead them to enlightenment, doesn't mean you abandon them to their own devices.

Odd words (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44894921)

Anyone else notice his odd use of language and use of unusual words?

Re:Odd words (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895127)

Racist.

Re:Odd words (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895369)

Lawyer is not a race. -.-

Re:Odd words (1)

Rob the Bold (788862) | about 10 months ago | (#44895239)

Anyone else notice his odd use of language and use of unusual words?

Reminded me of Homer Simpson when he got the subliminal vocab-builder instead of weight loss tape.

Had to start googling a little on those. "Soluable," I thought only meant capable of being dissolved, but apparently is a real synonym for "solvable," and not a malaprop, dating back to the 15th century. But "rapeutated"? First page of google hits are stories about Carreon himself. The second was TFA, and the fifth was this very story!. Does it mean his reputation was raped? I guess so, but I don't really want to read his feculent drivel to find out.

"Remediable? Erudite, Aplomb" Okay, whatever. They're real, but why? He seems to be in love with^B^B^B^B^B^B^B^B^B^B^B^B enamored of fifty-cent words.

Re:Odd words (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895299)

Makes more sense if you can mentally impose a bass and bongo line in the background while he's reading.it.out loud to...the court. The guy is just a closeted Beat poet.

Re:Odd words (2)

Titus Groan (2834723) | about 10 months ago | (#44895739)

it is not unwonted for a nabob such as he to attempt to appear erudite and loquacious by using obnubilative and superannuated terminology. That darned popinjay!.

Re:Odd words (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895971)

it is not unwonted for a nabob such as he to attempt to appear erudite and loquacious by using obnubilative and superannuated terminology. That darned popinjay!.

How long have you had that cached just waiting for an opportunity to use it?

A word to the wise (1)

91degrees (207121) | about 10 months ago | (#44894927)

Just because it looks kinda dumb on the surface doesn't mean it's not a hugely successful enterprise run by a millionaire businessman who doesn't like being pushed around.

Re:A word to the wise (2)

h4rr4r (612664) | about 10 months ago | (#44895049)

And just because you are a lawyer does not mean you are not also a complete and total moron.

Re:A word to the wise (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895511)

It doesn't matter. He'll be living in a luxury 6000 sqr-ft house, have two holiday homes and travels around the world for vacations with his family. What do you have in comparison.

Re:A word to the wise (1)

HornWumpus (783565) | about 10 months ago | (#44896261)

Start you law education immediately, mortgage your parents house to pay for it. Because there is no glut of lawyers and they are all millionaires. You will never regret studying law.

This is more of what Slashdot needs! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44894951)

Forget the science and technology crap. Let's give ourselves over to inane bickering and political dickery. Slashdot has finally found the right subject matter for its audience!

Forbes (4, Insightful)

Hognoxious (631665) | about 10 months ago | (#44894955)

The Forbes site linked to in TFS is quite funny. There's a hilarious article on why insider trading is a good thing. In some ways it out-onions the onion.

I agree that he's stupid, but he's also horrible. (4, Informative)

mosb1000 (710161) | about 10 months ago | (#44895053)

“So when you take a situation in which the legal rules don’t impose any effective sanctions on people for that kind of behavior, mob behavior on the Internet, then a legal analyst like myself should look at that situation and say: ‘You can’t fix everything that’s broken,’” he said. “There is not a proper legal remedy for it. I attempted to do something and I made it worse.”

So the problem is not that he was attempting to bring a lawsuit that was clearly without merit in order to harass an innocent comedian, but that the internet mob can't be reasoned with or controlled?

I agree it can't be controlled, and he's a pretty stupid guy for not realizing that going in. But maybe he should also admit (at least to himself) that he's a horrible piece of shit that hates free speech.

Re:I agree that he's stupid, but he's also horribl (2)

khasim (1285) | about 10 months ago | (#44895133)

But maybe he should also admit (at least to himself) that he's a horrible piece of shit that hates free speech.

Read a bit of his website. That is not going to happen. Here's a chunk of it.

I decide to include a screencap of the pterodactyl in the source code of Inmanâ(TM)s webpage and its weird, coded-in threat to "ptero you a new asshole." That sort of defines weird, hidden aggression, and has overtones of conjuration and magic that are rather sinister.

Pay particular attention to that last sentence. And he put that up on his own web page. He thinks that that is reasonable.

Re:I agree that he's stupid, but he's also horribl (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895201)

I agree, he was a dork for what he did. If you mess with the bull expect to get the horns.

HOWEVER, two wrongs do not make a right. Some people seem to think it is ok to join the mob because this guy is a jerk. I disagree with this sort of mentality. In fact I would almost say it is almost worse than what he did. The guy running the oatmeal probably is feeling pretty good. However, what he did was wrong too.

There is enough wrong here to go around. It was funny to watch. But sad in the number of people willing to act like a jerk.

Unanswered questions in your post. (2)

mosb1000 (710161) | about 10 months ago | (#44895265)

Some people seem to think it is ok to join the mob because this guy is a jerk.

And they're wrong to think that? Care to explain why?

The guy running the oatmeal probably is feeling pretty good. However, what he did was wrong too.

Really? Are you serious?

Re:Unanswered questions in your post. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895465)

No, he's likely to be the dude himself, attempting to astroturf. Ditto for the 'me too' reply below it. They contain the same sort of obstinate redefinitions of reality that such sociopaths use to try and alter the framework of the argument such that any discussion favors their side.

I can't tell if he's Shatnerish (possibly aware of his own role, but playing it to the hilt anyway) or more like a certain litigation-favoring self-'help' organization that also hates the Internet.

(Posting anon to avoid the pestering that often comes with outing this tactic.)

Re:Unanswered questions in your post. (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44896101)

And they're wrong to think that? Care to explain why?

You know what you convinced me mob justice is always the way to go. Sane and cool heads always win there right? /sarcasm

What the lawyer dude did was top shelf dickery, no doubt about it. However, the 'internet' also joined in, *and* the guy from the oatmeal did as well as the leader.

Show me at what point dickery was not used? Show me at what point someone 'did the right thing' and did not act like a dick? Yes I am serious. What he did was no better than the dude in a mob who shouts 'get him' and the mob runs him over with a truck. He may have done it in a humorous way (I laughed). But it was still wrong. Even the nice things such as donating money was not a way of doing the right thing. It was just a way of being a bigger dick.

Think on this. What if you somehow pissed off the dude from the oatmeal? Would you be up for a good round of his mob justice? Who would be able to do anything else in their life without that blot showing up? Remember the internet has a LONG memory...

I use this as an example
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_JonBen%C3%A9t_Ramsey

That family was convicted and tried in the world of the mob. Yet that family is owed 1 big freeking apology. Mob justice is usually not a good way to do things. It has a heavy price. I only use this as an example of bad mob justice. In this case the dude played with the bull. When you do that you get the horns. What he did was 100% wrong. But what happened afterwards was not exactly a bed of roses and everyone being all happy and doing the right thing. It was a basketfull of dickery all around.

Make no mistake about it. This was a dick waving contest. The lawyer lost to the forest of them.

Also as SD will not let me reply too often as AC I am not the same dude. I am someone who thinks mob justice is not a way we should run our society. I sat back at watched it with humor and horror at the same time.

I know what I am saying is not exactly popular. It just seemed wrong on all counts to me. It reminds me of two kids fighting over a toy then wanting me to take sides. When all I want them to do is not fight at all...

This isn't mom justice, what are you thinking? (2)

mosb1000 (710161) | about 10 months ago | (#44896347)

This isn't mob justice, this is just the equivalent of getting a bunch of bad reviews on yelp. What a bunch of hyperbolic nonsense!

What this man did wasn't just stupid, it was also immoral. He's apologized for being stupid, and promised to learn from his mistakes, but he makes no apology for is immoral actions. That being the case, the bad reviews should stand.

It's not mob justice, it's just the truth coming out about this asshole. I have no sympathy for him, since he has not seen the error of his ways, nor should anyone else defend his antisocial behavior or claim that the treatment he has received as a result of it has been inappropriate or unfair.

Re:I agree that he's stupid, but he's also horribl (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895271)

The guy running the oatmeal probably is feeling pretty good.

Given how big of a tool he is, there's no question about that.

Re:I agree that he's stupid, but he's also horribl (1)

mosb1000 (710161) | about 10 months ago | (#44895513)

This doesn't make any sense. Why shouldn't he feel good about overcoming this bullshit legal challenge? And how does that make him a tool?

Re:I agree that he's stupid, but he's also horribl (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895603)

Saying "Johnny did it too" is not an excuse. To me, Carreon is the type of lawyer who gives lawyers a bad name (there are good lawyers out there -- and I mean good -- not effective). His response to a legal request that had merit was not to resolve the dispute. Instead he attacked back. He isn't interested in the truth. He is only interested in winning and sees the law as the rules by which he wins. Most people see the law as a way to keep society functioning smoothly. There is always some asshole who wants to game the rules and in doing so screws up the game. I have no doubt Carreon is a sociopath. I doubt he feels any guilt for what he has done -- only regret that he didn't win. Honestly, if I were engaged in unethical but borderline legal business, I'd want him on my side if he didn't seem so dumb.

Worst Summary Ever (2)

Virtucon (127420) | about 10 months ago | (#44895117)

Shit, talk about a run-on, convoluted sentence..

Charles Carreon, zany lawyer and poster-child for the Streisand Effect (sorry Babs) for his lawsuit against The Oatmeal creator Mattew Innman last year in his original role as legal counsel for Funnyjunk, as reported by ArsTechnica, seems to have finally called it quits.

Re:Worst Summary Ever (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895339)

It's called journalistic prose numbnuts, this isn't an academic paper, nobody gives a shit about run-on sentences in the real world.

Re:Worst Summary Ever (4, Funny)

Rob the Bold (788862) | about 10 months ago | (#44895519)

It's called journalistic prose numbnuts, this isn't an academic paper, nobody gives a shit about run-on sentences in the real world.

Because they either get bored or irritated trying to make sense of them and eventually -- but not before getting a headache and taking some aspirin and having a bit of a lie-down in order to give the aspirin time to work and to soothe the aforementioned head -- quit trying to mentally diagram it and just skip it and plow on in the hopes that the rest of the document, unlikely as it sounds, will be more readable, and perhaps the prosaic period will be understood in learning the larger context in which it appeared, or, alternatively, just stop reading entirely based on the assumption that the whole piece will be just like it, resulting in even greater frustration that can only be relieved by tying an onion to one's belt and taking the ferry to Morgantown?

Re:Worst Summary Ever (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895775)

They do when it turns it into an unreadable shitstring.

Re:Worst Summary Ever (0)

sexconker (1179573) | about 10 months ago | (#44895913)

It's called journalistic prose numbnuts, this isn't an academic paper, nobody gives a shit about run-on sentences in the real world.

Fuck off, journalistic prose is universally terrible.

Here's some horseshit from a random story on CNN.com:

They live at the end of a runway at one of the nation's busiest airports, and only now has anyone cared to identify them and even give them a name.

They are yellow-bellied legless lizards, and their species name is A. stebbinsi, after 98-year-old herpetologist Robert C. Stebbins. Their home is in the dunes west of Los Angeles International Airport.

Stebbins' namesakes, which look like snakes, were discovered and identified by Theodore Papenfuss, a herpetologist with the Museum of Vertebrate Zoology at the University of California, Berkeley, and James Parham of California State University, Fullerton.

Here's how to convey all that information without being retarded:

A new species of lizard has been formally identified by herpetologist Theodore Papenfuss and James Parham. The lizards resemble snakes because they have yellow bellies and no legs. They are found in the dunes west of Los Angeles International Airport.

The official name, "A. stebbinsi", is a tribute to 98-year-old herpetologist Robert C. Stebbins. Papenfuss works at the Museum of Vertebrate Zoology at the University of California, Berkeley, and Parham works at California State University, Fullerton.
 

good lord... (1)

meta-monkey (321000) | about 10 months ago | (#44895129)

“So when you take a situation in which the legal rules don’t impose any effective sanctions on people for that kind of behavior, mob behavior on the Internet, then a legal analyst like myself should look at that situation and say: ‘You can’t fix everything that’s broken,’” he said. “There is not a proper legal remedy for it. I attempted to do something and I made it worse.”

Well, when the man's right, the man's right. You truly can't fix everything that's broken.

Re:good lord... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44895581)

Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?
The Dude: No you're not wrong.
Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?
The Dude: You're not wrong Walter. You're just an asshole.
Walter Sobchak: Okay then.

Not that Charles Carreon was right about anything else

Re:good lord... (1)

Zero__Kelvin (151819) | about 10 months ago | (#44895967)

Well, if there is one thing Carreon proves by way of example over and over again, it is that you can't fix stupid [youtube.com] .

Charles Carreon (5, Insightful)

wiredlogic (135348) | about 10 months ago | (#44895341)

Charles Carreon. You're a fucking asshole.

Re:Charles Carreon (1)

stox (131684) | about 10 months ago | (#44895623)

I am afraid I am going to have to sue you for besmirching the reputation of fucking assholes.

Re:Charles Carreon (1)

wonkey_monkey (2592601) | about 10 months ago | (#44895813)

Too generous. Assholes perform a vital, if unglamorous, function. This guy's more of a puss-spewing boil.

Re:Charles Carreon (1)

HornWumpus (783565) | about 10 months ago | (#44896299)

He's an Anal fistula.

I RTFA... (1)

oldhack (1037484) | about 10 months ago | (#44895391)

I read it, and I can't tell if the guys's a clown, an idiot, or both.

Re:I RTFA... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44896281)

I can't tell if the guy thinks he is Hunter S. Thompson, Joey Ramone, or both.

And death is not an option (4, Funny)

regular_gonzalez (926606) | about 10 months ago | (#44895469)

You need legal representation. You can not represent yourself. Your two options are Charles Carreon and Jack Thompson. Who do you choose?

Re:And death is not an option (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44896315)

Both. With any luck when lose the case they will both sue each other for incompetence and take themselves out fo the the lawyer pool.

translation (3, Funny)

sjames (1099) | about 10 months ago | (#44895621)

I believe I can translate and make for a shorter read at the same time:

Haw HEhawwwwwwwwww, He HAWWWwwwwwwww.

Translation: (1)

The Cat (19816) | about 10 months ago | (#44895819)

They ran out of free web traffic.

Of course, if the story submitter were educated, (1)

Legal.Troll (2002574) | about 10 months ago | (#44895907)

he wouldn't go nuts trying to construct an oh-so-clever metaphor while remaining stupidly ignorant of the fact that Hades is, by design, already a very cold place -- thereby utterly ruining what was supposed to be the force of the metaphor, for anyone who actually knows the underlying subject matter.

Surrenders to the oatmeal (3, Funny)

Chris Mattern (191822) | about 10 months ago | (#44895993)

Wilford Brimley is pleased, and hopes he won't get diabeetus.

Why is the 't' not capitalized in 'the' (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#44896027)

Why is the 't' not capitalized in 'the'? It doesn't match the rest of the subject title.
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