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New Species of Legless Lizard Discovered Near LAX Runway

timothy posted about a year ago | from the creepy-looking dept.

Earth 103

From an article at Discovery News: "A bustling airport would hardly seem the place to find a new species of reclusive animal, but a team of California biologists recently found a shy new species of legless lizard living at the end of a runway at Los Angeles International Airport. What’s more, the same team discovered three additional new species of these distinctive, snake-like lizards that are also living in some inhospitable-sounding places for wildlife: at a vacant lot in downtown Bakersfield, among oil derricks in the lower San Joaquin Valley and on the margins of the Mojave desert." Here's some more information in the form of a press release from Cal State Fullerton, home to James Parham, one of the discoverers.

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Kill them all! (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920111)

They are harbingers of the end times!!!

Re:Kill them all! (5, Insightful)

icebike (68054) | about a year ago | (#44920235)

They are harbingers of the end times!!!

Or the harbinger of planes.

Found anywhere else than beside a very busy freight airport, you might be tempted to believe they have been there all along.
But finding Four new species right next to an airport (and as yet, nowhere else), you have to allow for the possibility that they
arrived in cargo.

DAvid Icke says (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920317)

It Has begun , they have arrived!

All hail or new lizard overlords!

Re:Kill them all! (4, Interesting)

amiga3D (567632) | about a year ago | (#44920377)

Or they're freaks caused by toxic waste.

Re:Kill them all! (4, Funny)

93 Escort Wagon (326346) | about a year ago | (#44920653)

Or there are a bunch of young boys living nearby.

Re:Kill them all! (1)

nospam007 (722110) | about a year ago | (#44922289)

"Or they're freaks caused by toxic waste."

Not at all, it's all those Hollywood agents.

Re:Kill them all! (1)

michelcolman (1208008) | about a year ago | (#44922533)

Or they were hit by airplane wheels and lost their legs that way.

Re:Kill them all: Lizard-Snakes on a Plane!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920477)

They are harbingers of the end times!!!

Or the harbinger of planes.

Found anywhere else than beside a very busy freight airport, you might be tempted to believe they have been there all along. But finding Four new species right next to an airport (and as yet, nowhere else), you have to allow for the possibility that they arrived in cargo.

Lizakes? Snakards? Slizards, no wait, that's a physicist, I think. Sliz or slidz might work.

Re:Kill them all: Lizard-Snakes on a Plane!! (1)

Sique (173459) | about a year ago | (#44922519)

The physicist is Szilard. Leó Szilárd. And legless lizards are known elsewhere, for instance the slow worm [wikipedia.org] and the sheltopusik [wikipedia.org] . No need to coin a new word for them, we know them already :)

Re:Kill them all! (4, Funny)

arglebargle_xiv (2212710) | about a year ago | (#44920689)

Found anywhere else than beside a very busy freight airport, you might be tempted to believe they have been there all along. But finding Four new species right next to an airport (and as yet, nowhere else), you have to allow for the possibility that they arrived in cargo.

My GF reports encountering at least four species of legless lizard in that bar next to the airport on the left. She reckons they arrived as passengers though, not in cargo.

Re:Kill them all! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44927013)

What was she doing in the men's room?

Re:Kill them all! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921221)

They didn't find four new species right next to an airport, they found one, and the rest are in other areas of southern California. Bakersfield, for example, is over 100 miles away.

Re:Kill them all! (2)

Intrepid imaginaut (1970940) | about a year ago | (#44922715)

Might there not be some potential for migration due to the lack of aerial predators around airports?

Re:Kill them all! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921219)

Life, finds, a way.

We all know what this means ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44922863)

... Time to shut LAX down, fire thousands of employees until an environmental impact study can be completed(usually takes a year or two). In the meantime, it's best to begin finding a new location for a replacement airport for LA. Of course, that means another environmental impact study process to begin now.

Re:We all know what this means ... (1)

cusco (717999) | about a year ago | (#44924465)

That's the best possible thing that could happen for air transport in North America. I've been through airports in Peru, Colombia, Ecuador, Panama, Russia, Italy, and all across North America, and LAX is the worst clusterfuck of an airport that I have ever seen in my life. Leave it to the legless lizards and start over somewhere else, the new airport can't possibly be worse.

Re:We all know what this means ... (1)

dcw3 (649211) | about a year ago | (#44924663)

Considering that it's 85 years old, one of the busiest airports in the world, and had to put up with anti-expansion efforts from locals, it's not that bad. I recommend reading a bit of the history (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_International_Airport#History).

Re:Kill them all! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44923335)

No - just some unlocky lizard who lost his legs trying to jack a ride out of the country on a jumbo jet.

Though, legless lizards are rare at airports, we see this all the time at the railway yard. Poor fellows.

Sounds like they need a lawyer. (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920117)

Are we sure their legs weren't just run over?

Re:Sounds like they need a lawyer. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920501)

Are we sure their legs weren't just run over?

Or someone was hungry. I've heard those critters can be tasty in a pinch. After all, airports are known to harbor more than their share of homeless camps.

Re:Sounds like they need a lawyer. (1)

michelcolman (1208008) | about a year ago | (#44922547)

Homeless? Maybe they were just regular passengers who had only been served airline food and then saw a tasty-looking lizard pass by.

Re:Sounds like they need a lawyer. (1)

Optali (809880) | about a year ago | (#44927513)

Crap, you were quicker than me :P

Re:Sounds like they need a lawyer. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44928081)

Are we sure their legs weren't just run over?

"Lawyers trip over one another to represent reptilian lowlifes, news at 11."

Snakes (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920119)

They're called snakes.

Re:Snakes (5, Informative)

filthpickle (1199927) | about a year ago | (#44920165)

In case anyone else wonders and doesn't want to RTFA.

The lizards are distinguishable from their slithery relatives based on one or more of the following: eyelids, external ear openings, lack of broad belly scales and/or a very long tail. Snakes, conversely, have a long body and a short tail.

Re:Snakes (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920439)

In case anyone else wonders and doesn't want to RTFA.

The lizards are distinguishable from their slithery relatives based on one or more of the following: eyelids, external ear openings, lack of broad belly scales and/or a very long tail. Snakes, conversely, have a long body and a short tail.

If the lizard isn't a snake, then there was a snake in the wood pile.

How does the gimp get around?

Re:Snakes (4, Funny)

tepples (727027) | about a year ago | (#44920849)

How does the gimp get around?

By being cheaper than Photoshop.

OR: Video 1 [youtube.com] Video 2 [youtube.com]

Re:Snakes (1)

R3d M3rcury (871886) | about a year ago | (#44920873)

Now here's the question: Did they find a snake with eyelids or did they find a lizard with no legs?

I gotta admit, when I read the headline, I thought the same thing: "What do you call a lizard with no legs? A snake."

Of course, I also ask, "What do you call a woman with one leg? Ilene."

Thanks, I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

Re:Snakes (2)

Sique (173459) | about a year ago | (#44922539)

Grown up in Europe, where legless lizards are quite common (slow worms and sheltopusiks), I never asked myself that. I just thought: Oh, I didn't know yet that in the U.S., there were no known legless lizards until now!

Re:Snakes (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920185)

They're called snakes.

No, snakes are considerably further from lizards on the evolutionary tree than that. Legless lizards are literally a thing - consider the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anguis for example.

Re:Snakes (1)

K. S. Kyosuke (729550) | about a year ago | (#44920251)

They're called snakes.

You must be a fan of those trained sharks that jump through hoops and play with balls to entertain people.

Re:Snakes (1)

krept (697623) | about a year ago | (#44923651)

The ones with blow holes?

SLJ (4, Funny)

Flere Imsaho (786612) | about a year ago | (#44921001)

They're called snakes.

Too right. "I'm sick of these motherfucking legless lizards on this motherfucking plane" just doesn't have the same zing to it.

Re:Snakes (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921197)

Snakes? On a plane?
Shirley, you must be joking.

Re:Snakes (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44922467)

Snakes can't grow their tails back. Legless lizards can.

Re:Snakes (2)

michelcolman (1208008) | about a year ago | (#44922561)

Well, a snake without a tail is basically just a pair of eyes and a mouth.

Scientists have named the legless lizard RGIII (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920137)

NP

or a snake? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920149)

Not a wildlife specialist here, but put in the simplest form, wouldn't that be a snake?

\I know it is more complicated then this.

Re:or a snake? (5, Informative)

icebike (68054) | about a year ago | (#44920197)

Your average observer would probably call it a snake and ignore it.

But its eyelids, jaws and the fact that it can shed its tail in an emergency makes it a lizard, and not a snake.
http://science.howstuffworks.com/zoology/reptiles-amphibians/legless-lizard-vs-snake1.htm [howstuffworks.com]

Re:or a snake? (2)

SuricouRaven (1897204) | about a year ago | (#44920333)

What they describe sounds very much like a slowworm. The article itsself lists the charactistics that differentiate snakes from lizards. It's about more than just limb count.

Re:or a snake? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44922363)

Slowworm is a legless lizard.

Legless lizards? (5, Funny)

phantomfive (622387) | about a year ago | (#44920157)

And thus it begins [wikipedia.org] .

Re:Legless lizards? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44922309)

si (enne>0) { peh=peh+enne; enne--; }

Re:Legless lizards? (1)

cusco (717999) | about a year ago | (#44924495)

It's too bad that movie didn't get a wider distribution. We might have been spared much of Kevin Bacon's subsequent 'acting' career.

Re:Legless lizards? (1)

phantomfive (622387) | about a year ago | (#44924535)

Somehow it made it to four sequels and a TV show. At least with "Land Before Time 6" I can understand who was watching it, but no clue on that one.

I found it first! (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920177)

He's been hiding behind my zipper for years.

In Springfield The Fish Have 3 Eyes... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920189)

Just the beginning of a wave of new mutant creatures in all of our carcinogenic waste laden environments (cities).

All I wanna Know Is ... (4, Informative)

flyneye (84093) | about a year ago | (#44920195)

How's it taste?
I remember working pipeline as a lad and watching the Mexicans catch Anoles by the tail with their pliers. They'd fire up an Oxy/Acetelyne torch, char it and eat it like jerky on the spot.

Re:All I wanna Know Is ... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920279)

It probably tastes better than those 15 dicks you just sucked. Fucking cunt.

Re:All I wanna Know Is ... (1)

amiga3D (567632) | about a year ago | (#44920383)

It tastes like chicken.

Re:All I wanna Know Is ... (1)

flyneye (84093) | about a year ago | (#44920639)

Always figured with all the animals that taste like chicken, some would end up being "natural flavors" in food touting chicken on the label.

Re:All I wanna Know Is ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921837)

I think the americans just over spice them, so they all just taste like spices. It's just bullshit that everything tastes like chicken. Like in the Matrix, how does the machine know what a chicken tastes like, americans sure don't.

I just hate that frase so much.

Re:All I wanna Know Is ... (1)

flyneye (84093) | about a year ago | (#44922501)

Oddly enough though, pheasant, turkey, quail, and pigeon taste nothing like chicken.
When do we get a lizard that tastes like pheasant?
Science is wasting time on IT, we need better food.

Re:All I wanna Know Is ... (1)

bickerdyke (670000) | about a year ago | (#44922283)

chicken and turkey hen have the least distinctive taste among meat, so if some other meat has hardly any distinctive taste (as beef, pork or lamb have), you'd end up comparing it to - chicken!

Re:All I wanna Know Is ... (3, Funny)

radarskiy (2874255) | about a year ago | (#44920769)

Like a legless chicken.

Re:All I wanna Know Is ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44930909)

mmmmm got me thinking about legless chicks now.

Evolved to fly! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920215)

Who needs legs when they can hop on an airplane and fly away!

You mean a snake... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920249)

...cause I thought that's what a legless lizard was. :)

What the fuck? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920255)

Where's the articles about video games, movies and second rate sci-fi? I don't want any of this science bullshit.

Legless Lizard at strange location? (2)

deaf.seven (2669973) | about a year ago | (#44920297)

Next: Biologists find five legged lizards near nuclear plant.

Splut (1)

Vlijmen Fileer (120268) | about a year ago | (#44920299)

Didn't they just got their legs run off?

Re:Splut (1)

Bite The Pillow (3087109) | about a year ago | (#44921321)

The Geico spokesman finally made it out of the car park, but not without some mishaps.

yo (0)

PopeRatzo (965947) | about a year ago | (#44920311)

I gotcher legless lizard right here.

why did apple ruin ios? ios7 is fucking awful (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920337)

johnny ive is just a little bitch who copies 50 year old deiter rams design, they should have fired him, not forestall.

I, for one, welcome our new .... oh, screw it. (0)

mnemotronic (586021) | about a year ago | (#44920347)

... snake-like lizards that are also living in some inhospitable-sounding places for wildlife: at a vacant lot in downtown Bakersfield, among oil derricks in the lower San Joaquin Valley...

The Legless Lizards Were Born in the Airport Club. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920373)

They hated flying, tried to steady their nerves, had a few too many, and then couldn't make it to the terminal for their flights.

Each awoke in unfamiliar environs the next day, how they got there they did not know, with scientists poking and prodding them.

exLAX (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920389)

inhospitable-sounding places (like) downtown Bakersfield

You got that right.

And the sun isn't even over the yard arm... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920403)

They've probably been getting into all that grog that the TSA confiscates.

All They've Found..... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920435)

All they've found is the place where California politicians are growing. They're a legless, balless bunch, so this must be the place.

Not just lizards (5, Interesting)

Deadstick (535032) | about a year ago | (#44920453)

The Miami airport is a sanctuary for the burrowing owl...they poke their little heads up out of the ground and watch you taxi by.

The open areas adjoining the old Denver airport had a population of raptorial birds that fed on the local jackrabbits and prairie dogs. When the airport moved, the birds moved too -- but not until several years later. Turned out the attraction of the old airport was that the ground critters were deaf from jet noise, and easy to catch. As the next generation of un-deafened animals grew up, the birds moved to easier pickings at the new site.

Re:Not just lizards (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921525)

The Miami airport is a sanctuary for the burrowing owl

You know what Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people here
in the trailer park. Oh no, don't get me wrong, they're fine people, good
Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and
Mindy on channel 57. Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. They're
good fine people, Stuart. But they don't know what the queers are doing
to the soil.

You know that Johnny Werzner kid - the kid who delivers papers in the
neighborhood? He's a fine kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes
crack, but I don't believe it. Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he
wanted was a burrow owl, just like his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow
owl. I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live". So the guy
breaks down and buys him a burrow owl. Anyway at 10:30 the other night I
go out into my yard and there's the Werzner kid looking up in the tree. I
said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrow
owl." I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Everybody knows that a
burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they
call it a burrow owl, anyway?!" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that
is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this, about 10 years ago, the summer my oldest boy
Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival that comes to town every year?
Well this year it came with a ride called the Mixer. The man said "Keep
your head and arms inside the mixer at all times." But Bill Jr., he was a
daredevil, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying, "Hey
everybody! Look at me, look at me!" POW! He was decapitated. They found
his head over by the snowcone concession. A few days after that, I open
up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Pueblo, Colorado. And
it's addressed to Bill Jr. And it's entitled, "Do you know what the
queers are doing to our soil?"

Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big
underground homosexual population - Des Moines, Iowa, perfect example.
Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it, you
can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming.
But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers.
They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay
Martians. I swear to God.

You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here
in the trailer park.

Re:Not just lizards (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44922873)

keep er coming u homo lover

Re:Not just lizards (1)

X0563511 (793323) | about a year ago | (#44927531)

Yikes. That sounds like FOD-city to me.

I just wanna know... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920455)

...how much they'd had to drink?

New Species Of Legless Lizard Found At LAX, Los An (-1)

utube-youtube (3170345) | about a year ago | (#44920681)

A bustling airport would hardly seem the place to find a new species of reclusive animal, but a team of California biologists recently found a shy new species of legless lizard living at the end of a runway at Los Angeles International Airport. What's more, the same team discovered three additional new species of these distinctive, snake-like lizards that are also living in some inhospitable-sounding places for wildlife: at a vacant lot in downtown Bakersfield, among oil derricks in the lower San Joaquin Valley and on the margins of the Mojave desert. http://utube-youtube.com/video/bZ8ViVnQaKs/New-Species-Of-Legless-Lizard-Found-At-LAX-Los-Angeles.html [utube-youtube.com]

The technical writers would say ... (1, Informative)

sandbagger (654585) | about a year ago | (#44920847)

...it's called a snake.

Quick, send in the EPA (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44920859)

The airport must be shut down immediately to protect this new and amazing animal!

wonder if they'd be there without the airport (1)

raymorris (2726007) | about a year ago | (#44920991)

I wonder if they were there BECAUSE the airport was there.
Save wildlife - build more giant complexes of buildings and asphalt .

Re:wonder if they'd be there without the airport (1)

BlueStrat (756137) | about a year ago | (#44921199)

I wonder if they were there BECAUSE the airport was there.
Save wildlife - build more giant complexes of buildings and asphalt .

FTA: "...among oil derricks in the lower San Joaquin Valley..."

Save the Slizards!

Drill baby, drill!

What sweet irony it would be to see the likes of The Sierra Club, PETA, ELF, etc protesting because new oil rigs aren't going up fast enough!

Strat

New species or just parapalegic? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921031)

The title instantly made me laugh as the first thing I thought about lizards living around an airport is that they would get their limbs crushed off their bodies. Wait, why was I laughing about that? I think I have problems...

Right at the end of the runway. (2)

Ralph Ostrander (2846785) | about a year ago | (#44921035)

On Imperial hwy. 40 years ago were some apartments we called the great whites. at the top of the hill and more affordable ones at the bottom. Behind the big white apts I seen some of those things as a kid. I am almost certain there were icicle plants back then. So you may still find more in that area. There we no more apartments between these and the beach back then.

Of course they're legless (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921135)

That's what they get for trying to 'beat the plane'.

You'll never hear stories about newly discovered 'headless' lizards living at the end of the runway.

They came from Japan (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921257)

New Airport is safe and healthy (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921385)

Any mutant wildlife found in the surrounding area is not the responsibility of the airport.

Strip joints near airport (1)

ChrisMaple (607946) | about a year ago | (#44921477)

New species of Lounge Lizard found at Nude! Girls! Nude! near LAX.

Conservationists Demand Status Quo (4, Funny)

Boawk (525582) | about a year ago | (#44921657)

Los Angeles, August 12, 2082
On Tuesday, a public hearing on shutting down the Los Angeles International Airport was again disrupted by conservationists. This is the second public hearing the LAX Airport Authority has held to consider repurposing the airport property into a nature preserve. Decreasing numbers of passengers and reduced tarmac requirements for liftoff for vessels such as the Boeing 998 Starduster have obviated the need for a traditional airport. In an attempt to stop the meeting, several conservationists handcuffed themselves to the podium. With signs and chants, the conservationists expressed their dismay at shutting down the fragile ecosystem of the rare legless lizard found only at LAX. "Every change the [LAX Airport] Authority makes to the airfield threatens to overturn the delicate balance of nature our legless comrades rely on." inveighed Charles Slatun, the group's putative leader. "We protested quite vocally when airlines began installing sound-dampeners on engines landing at the airport. But now, LAX as a nature preserve? This disregard for extant species must stop!" For months conservationists have been seen acting as informal greeters inside LAX as well as offering free taxi rides to the airport in an effort to convince the public that preserving LAX in its current form is in their best interest.

Re:Conservationists Demand Status Quo (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44922607)

And then without the typical air traffic, the birds that normally stayed away showed up. All the legless lizards were soon eaten.

I was hoping... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921741)

...that this would be a joke about a traveling Republican.

Legless Lizards at LAX (1)

Rocketboy0 (2843233) | about a year ago | (#44921827)

If the researchers would poke around Hollywood, they would find many more.

Fess up (3, Funny)

sjames (1099) | about a year ago | (#44921899)

Who's been giving all that booze to the lizards?

I'm just waiting for the movie ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44921999)

... Legless in LA.

Re:I'm just waiting for the movie ... (1)

Eddy_D (557002) | about a year ago | (#44925989)

Well it is at the airport so...

"There are MotherF***in legless lizards on this MotherF***in plane!"

Evolution (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44922723)

reduced height keep them out of jet intake.

Lack of predation (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44922775)

Bird scarers, toxic environments.
Both will discourage raptors so any wierd reptilia will in theory have a chance for a change.

Endangered (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44923807)

These poor creatures need to be on the endangered species list so we can close down that runway! Maybe then I can get my forest back from the spotted owl.

Alternative explanation (1)

BenBoy (615230) | about a year ago | (#44923939)

Perhaps they just pissed-off God [biblehub.com] . This suggests that airport waiting-lounges are what happened to Eden, which, IMHO, puts flaming swords [biblehub.com] to shame ...

Biologists (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44924075)

What was a team of biologists doing on a runway?

Lets call them TSA (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44925511)

Lets call them TSA. Very appropriate name.

Stop (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#44928935)

Shut that airport down immediately! We MUST save that lizard.

Legless Lizards (1)

metaforest (685350) | about a year ago | (#44930753)

... share all of the typical traits of lizards with one obvious exception. ( you get three guesses and the first two don't count)

to wit:
Snakes do not have true auditory sense organs. Legless lizards have true ears, as do all lizards.

Snakes do not have eyelids. Legless lizards do, along with all other lizards.

Snakes have a forked tongue, and a special chemo-sensing organ. Only a few lizards do, IIRC legless lizards do not.

Snakes have a short neck and shoulder region, a long torso region and then a short hip and tail region (yes, Virginia, motherfucking snakes have motherfucking shoulders and hips). Legless lizards have proportionally shorter body segments and a very long tail section, similar in proportion to other lizards.

Snakes cannot drop their tail segments, and if severed, the tail will not grow back. Legless lizards, like many of their legged relatives, can voluntarily drop their tails as distraction to evade predators. The tail will grow back.

Snakes don't chew their food, they always swallow it whole. Legless lizards, like most of their relatives, will at least crunch it up a bit.

Snakes have teeth that curve toward the back of the mouth. Legless lizards and most other lizards have sharp ridges on their jaws that act to help cut and crush their prey. Larger lizards have more obvious teeth, but they are straight not curved.

Most snakes have an unhinge-able jaw that allows them to swallow prey that is several times larger than their hinged jaw.
Legless lizards like their kin have a firmly hinged jaw. They can only take prey that can be crushed to fit their jaws, or tear off bite sized chunks.

There are many other more subtle differences. Of course, the DNA evidence also confirms that legless lizards are lizards.... and not weird snakes.

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