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NSA Posts Opening For "Civil Liberties & Privacy Officer"

samzenpus posted about 9 months ago | from the I-think-I'll-pass dept.

Government 177

cold fjord writes "The Hill reports, 'The National Security Agency has posted a job opening for a privacy and civil liberties officer. The position was first mentioned last month, when President Obama outlined his plans to bring more transparency to the NSA surveillance programs. A White House press release said the agency was "taking steps to put in place a full time Civil Liberties and Privacy Officer."' — From the NSA job posting: 'The NSA Civil Liberties & Privacy Officer (CLPO) is conceived as a completely new role, combining the separate responsibilities of NSA's existing Civil Liberties and Privacy (CL/P) protection programs under a single official. The CLPO will serve as the primary advisor to the Director of NSA for ensuring that privacy is protected and civil liberties are maintained by all of NSA's missions, programs, policies and technologies. This new position is focused on the future, designed to directly enhance decision making and to ensure that CL/P protections continue to be baked into NSA's future operations, technologies, tradecraft, and policies. The NSA CLPO will consult regularly with the Office of the Director of National Intelligence CLPO, privacy and civil liberties officials from the Department of Defense and the Department of Justice, as well as other U.S. government, private sector, public advocacy groups and foreign partners. '"

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177 comments

Newspeak? (5, Insightful)

jonr (1130) | about 9 months ago | (#44923025)

Is it just me, or does anybody have the feeling that this job is probably the opposite of the title?

Re: Newspeak? (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923053)

I was thinking that rather than being the opposite that it would be a cube in the basement of a file room and given zero assistance from anyone, just "let us know if you see anything sketchy while you do whatever it is you feel like doing."

Re: Newspeak? (5, Funny)

Cornwallis (1188489) | about 9 months ago | (#44923079)

And I've got the red stapler to go with the position.

Re: Newspeak? (5, Funny)

jonr (1130) | about 9 months ago | (#44923157)

Don't forget the sign on the door: "Beware of the Leopard".

Re: Newspeak? (5, Insightful)

phrostie (121428) | about 9 months ago | (#44923407)

wasn't that what the "judges" job was?

Re: Newspeak? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923671)

Totally agree, this is the job of judges and journalists. But since the patriot act is a terrible law the judges cannot do their job. And since any information on prism is kept secret, the journalists cannot do their job.

Obama is just digging himself furter into the matra: "Trust the allknowing government". So America remains what used to be bad: A police state.

PATRIOT act (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923069)

Most unpatriotic act ever. So, yes, all Govt names are EXACTLY opposite of what they say.
Going by that, this guy is going to be tasked with infringing MORE, without even trying to hide it.

Re:PATRIOT act (1)

Salgak1 (20136) | about 9 months ago | (#44923815)

True. But his/her official role (as opposed to the real role. . . ) is to provide a semblance of top-cover.

"But our Civil Liberties and Privacy Officer is investigating, and will report their findings when the investigation is complete. . ."

Which will appease all but the loudest sheeple. . .

Re:Newspeak? (2)

moteyalpha (1228680) | about 9 months ago | (#44923071)

Is it just me, or does anybody have the feeling that this job is probably the opposite of the title?

I am sure the fox will hire a chicken to guard the hen house.

Re:Newspeak? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923089)

His job description entails standing around telling the NSA to stop doing all of the things the NSA does. It's not going to matter whether he performs this duty faithfully or not.

Re:Newspeak? (1)

Rob the Bold (788862) | about 9 months ago | (#44923355)

His job description entails standing around telling the NSA to stop doing all of the things the NSA does. It's not going to matter whether he performs this duty faithfully or not.

If he doesn't get the authority to make anyone do what he says -- or even listen to him -- then he can perform his job as faithfully as he wishes while the NSA can carry on with its own. Everybody wins!

Re:Newspeak? (1)

ae1294 (1547521) | about 9 months ago | (#44923611)

His job description entails standing around telling the NSA to stop doing all of the things the NSA does. It's not going to matter whether he performs this duty faithfully or not.

If he doesn't get the authority to make anyone do what he says -- or even listen to him -- then he can perform his job as faithfully as he wishes while the NSA can carry on with its own. Everybody wins!

Just like in Soviet Union... Everyone WINS all expense paid vacation!!!!

Let me be the first to nominate... (2)

Geoffrey.landis (926948) | about 9 months ago | (#44923421)

His job description entails standing around telling the NSA to stop doing all of the things the NSA does....

Let me be the first to nominate Bruce Schneier for the position.
http://www.technologyreview.com/news/519336/bruce-schneier-nsa-spying-is-making-us-less-safe/ [technologyreview.com]

Re:Newspeak? (2)

The Grim Reefer (1162755) | about 9 months ago | (#44923153)

Is it just me, or does anybody have the feeling that this job is probably the opposite of the title?

Not at all. In fact it's exactly what it sounds like...

On the internal memos where this fantastic new position is code-named "Token Civil Liberties & Privacy Officer". Or just "Token" for short. It's also referred to using the acronym, "LOL".

Re:Newspeak? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923163)

Well, to be fair, titles can be misleading. I'd imagine the NSA has a sexual harassment officer too, but it isn't like that person's job is to defend sexual harassment.

Re:Newspeak? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923269)

The NSA doesn't have such a position. You are thinking of the TSA. A sexual harassment officer's job there is to sexually harass.

Re:Newspeak? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923563)

Well, to be fair, titles can be misleading. I'd imagine the NSA has a sexual harassment officer too, but it isn't like that person's job is to defend sexual harassment.

No, that's the sexual harassment defense officer's job. The sexual harassment officer doesn't defend it; he/she just does it.

Re:Newspeak? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923195)

May be it is to let the rest of the guys know how much more Civil Liberties & Privacy can be taken away from everyone.

Re:Newspeak? (4, Insightful)

AHuxley (892839) | about 9 months ago | (#44923219)

Interesting how US rights are now just "maintained".

Re:Newspeak? (4, Insightful)

GameboyRMH (1153867) | about 9 months ago | (#44923235)

Either that or it's a job where you're given nothing to do until the next big leak comes out, then you become the sacrificial lamb and they hire a replacement, rinse and repeat.

Re:Newspeak? (1)

interkin3tic (1469267) | about 9 months ago | (#44923329)

I'd say it's just PR and possible sacrificial lamb. Why would they hire someone just to violate liberties? That's like hiring someone to take the profits of your company off your hands.

Re:Newspeak? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923539)

That position is called Chief Executive Officer

Re:Newspeak? (1)

ae1294 (1547521) | about 9 months ago | (#44923637)

I'd say it's just PR and possible sacrificial lamb. Why would they hire someone just to violate liberties? That's like hiring someone to take the profits of your company off your hands.

Like some kind of lawyer? or Banker? Hummmm maybe I should talk more with the nice lobbyist about a few things....

Re:Newspeak? (2)

clintp (5169) | about 9 months ago | (#44923699)

Over the summer I learned that the medical research division at ARPA has one bio-ethicist on staff. He's completely overwhelmed, walks around in a horrified daze, and rubber stamps everything that lands on his desk (when they bother). This is third-hand, of course. I can't believe that a Civil Liberties & Privacy Officer for the NSA would be any more useful than just a PR stunt.

Re:Newspeak? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923237)

I'd say it's merely another justification for spending, and the person in question does nothing of significance. They identified a problem (backlash against their business model, NOT privacy invasion), and they came up with a solution (public relations and marketing, NOT backing down) which -- and here's the "brilliant" part -- justifies yet even more spending. There is no way they would consider anything that would actually reduce their level of spending.

As for the conflict of interest for this new position -- it isn't just obvious; it's laughable.

Re:Newspeak? (1)

roc97007 (608802) | about 9 months ago | (#44923363)

Is it just me, or does anybody have the feeling that this job is probably the opposite of the title?

Yeah, it sounds like a fancy name for media liaison. When the local police department was misbehaving, (I mean, more than usual) it was the job of the media liaison to minimize the damage. I'm sure this is something similar. We see a lot of this lately -- lip service to citizen concerns that are actually attempts to control the narrative.

Proxy approval (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923371)

It's the classic 'approval by proxy' that worked in the UK.

In the UK they appointed a data registrar who job title is 'data protection', and whose legal basis is the EU privacy act. Yet he's not there to *enforce* the privacy act, he's there to approve the *exemptions* to the act. So he spends his time approving all manner of privacy invading uses for UK citizens data by giving his approval to their use (on your behalf, not that you're ever asked or the details told to you even).

It was a slimey lawyer trick courtesy of Tony Blair (a lawyer).

Here, he's appointing someone to represent US Citizens and 'approve' the misuse of their private data, obtained in violation of their rights. As if he can give proxy approval for the surveillance.

It's a slimey lawyer trick, courtesy of Obama (a lawyer).

I really thought Obama would be different, yet he gets into power and it's clear he's just the smiley face on the military machine, same as the last guy.

Re:Newspeak? (1)

Guppy06 (410832) | about 9 months ago | (#44923397)

Not even. The job involves 99% playing Solitaire on your office computer, and 1% getting yelled at by Congress on camera whenever someone gets caught doing something.

Agreed (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923435)

The NSA has lost all credibility with the American people. Nothing can repair that after the string of lies and revelations. That means if there are any upstanding people still working there they will become increasingly demoralized and leave, to be replaced by more sociopaths with despotic leanings. the NSA will become more of the threat to our freedom that it has already proven itself to be. when these revelations first came to light, if the president had immediately cleaned house over there then it might have stood a chance of recovering public esteem. but the president did the exact opposite and that chance has vanished.

So the question is, what now? I suggest civil disobedience on every level. put congress, the president, the NSA, and the ultra-wealthy who pull all their strings under the same panopticon they have put on us. let them know what it is to have every move known and exposed. shun them at every level. flag them on the citizen's equivalent of the "no fly" list. make it clear that we know them for the scum they are. peer pressure is a powerful motivator, even for sociopaths, and it may be enough to avert the drastic measures that lie beyond. but if they aren't, drastic measures must remain on the table or our children, grand children, and great grand children will be slaves who curse our cowardice.

Re:Newspeak? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923583)

The CLPO will serve as the primary advisor to the Director of NSA for ensuring that privacy is protected and civil liberties are maintained by all of NSA's missions, programs, policies and technologies.

Agree - without any teeth to actually stop abuse and bring the perpetrators to at the minimum, the public view, I see this much as an a guy/gal writing an FAQ that is meant really to preemptively rationalize bad/illegal behavior and refute any objections before hand. The position as described is great though - the Director says go talk to the Privacy Officer. The Privacy Officer says I've made my recommendations to the Director, go talk to him.

Let me get my resume going - this could be a great way to get paid without actually doing anything.

Re:Newspeak? (1)

They'reComingToTakeM (1091657) | about 9 months ago | (#44923689)

"Civil Liberties and Privacy Officer" - pronounced "Scapegoat".

I predict the winner of the job search! (1)

swschrad (312009) | about 9 months ago | (#44923711)

Col. Flagg of MASH, or his life-a-like

Hmm (5, Insightful)

causality (777677) | about 9 months ago | (#44923029)

This new position is focused on the future, designed to directly enhance decision making

Does "shut down this agency permanently and don't replace it with anything similar" count as an enhancement?

If we want to fight terrorism we could always stop installing dictators and manipulating the affairs of other nations.

Re:Hmm (1)

interkin3tic (1469267) | about 9 months ago | (#44923377)

I'm not sure shutting down the NSA is the best option. Certainly a better option than "change nothing aside from promising you won't spy on citizens again," but it's probably still a bad idea to be so rash. And in the event that it is just closed, some other organization would just pick up right where they left off. Though I guess it's naive to assume that's not already happening.

Re:Hmm (2)

spottedkangaroo (451692) | about 9 months ago | (#44923705)

I dunno. I think they've earned it. I only wish there was a BuSab [wikipedia.org] to come in and solve this one.

lowered expectations (2)

Korruptionen (2647747) | about 9 months ago | (#44923033)

So, we're hiring a guy to report directly to the head of the NSA... so that he can report "hey, you're trampling everyone's privacy"... to which the director of the NSA can reply "I know." All of which we still will never know about.

Re:lowered expectations (2)

Chrisq (894406) | about 9 months ago | (#44923083)

So, we're hiring a guy to report directly to the head of the NSA... so that he can report "hey, you're trampling everyone's privacy"... to which the director of the NSA can reply "I know." All of which we still will never know about.

I'm sure they'll make better use of the "guy" (could be a girl) than that. It will be an ideal channel for disinformation. "Our privacy and civil liberties officer has forced us to reveal that we are scaling down our surveillance of Muslims", or "In line with the recommendations we are no longer issuing compromised SSL certificates", and so on.

Cushiest Job Ever (1)

pngwen (72492) | about 9 months ago | (#44923061)

All you do is just rubber stamp all the plans which cross your desk.

Well, maybe you have to sort it into two piles. "Stuff we admit to" and "Stuff that will piss off the whole civilized world" Still, this would be very easy. It's the only job which will do less than a police departments internal investigation board!

I assumed it'd be shut down (1)

ggpauly (263626) | about 9 months ago | (#44923075)

didn't anybody read Snowden's leaks?

Re:I assumed it'd be shut down (1)

Dunbal (464142) | about 9 months ago | (#44923131)

No one seems to care, apparently.

Re:I assumed it'd be shut down (2)

Arancaytar (966377) | about 9 months ago | (#44923381)

Hahaha.

Sure. The magical unicorn of freedom and democracy shut it all down. ;)

Need to allow this official to be transparent (4, Insightful)

stewsters (1406737) | about 9 months ago | (#44923085)

This official needs to have the ability to publicly whistle blow on anything he sees. If all he can do is report back to the NSA on his findings, no one will hear of it and nothing will change.

Re:Need to allow this official to be transparent (4, Insightful)

omnichad (1198475) | about 9 months ago | (#44923507)

The NSA will tell him what whistle to blow. He wouldn't be a very good distraction if he didn't "find" things.

Re:Need to allow this official to be transparent (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923605)

He'll be so transparent nobody will ever see or hear from him.

Highly controversial comment (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923087)

The NSA simply needs his Timothy McVeigh. Fuck 'em.

Re:Highly controversial comment (1)

Geoffrey.landis (926948) | about 9 months ago | (#44923409)

I am aware that this comment was a troll, but I do feel compelled to point out that such an event would retroactively justify all of the NSA's surveillance, provide an concrete demonstration that their surveillance was too limited and needs to be greatly expanded (and kept more secret).
Basically, it would cement the NSA's spying permanently into place for good.

Racial Sensitivity and Ethics Officer (5, Funny)

l0ungeb0y (442022) | about 9 months ago | (#44923091)

Somehow I feel this position will be as effective as a Racial Sensitivity and Ethics Officer aboard a Slave Ship.

Collateral damage (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923093)

I wonder who will get fired next time widespread law breaking at the agency is made public. Hint: probably not the director who authorised it.

Yet another waste of space (1)

dbIII (701233) | about 9 months ago | (#44923097)

Just shut these losers down and replace them with real military instead of idiot toy soldiers playing in Star Trek sets.

The job will involve... (1)

Chris Mattern (191822) | about 9 months ago | (#44923099)

...explaining to the public why they can't have these things anymore.

Re:The job will involve... (1)

AHuxley (892839) | about 9 months ago | (#44923197)

Hiring sockpuppets to get onto web 2.0 and help reshape the conversation around privacy laws derived from a "living document".
The domestic targets will argue themselves into amusing new directions on that topic.

Applicants of genus capra preferred (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923127)

After all, the main objective will be to serve as a scapegoat.

To serve and protect...

Shadow government (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923129)

Has anyone else gotten the feeling that "The President" and "Congress" are no longer anything other than just a show? That there is some kind of shadow government which is actually controlling things like the NSA. It may be time for a true violent revolution.

Re: Shadow government (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923309)

Yes

Re:Shadow government (1)

JackieBrown (987087) | about 9 months ago | (#44923501)

Nope - I don't let either branches off the hook that easily.

Re:Shadow government (1)

ae1294 (1547521) | about 9 months ago | (#44923685)

Well have you noticed the president sounds like a fucking zombie... Rule of Law, Rule of Law, Rule of Law.... I think they put something in his food....

Wanted: Feckless Patsy (4, Funny)

bistromath007 (1253428) | about 9 months ago | (#44923133)

Government-owned crime syndicate needs clownish do-nothing to stand around like a deer in headlights while taking the blame for coworkers' malfeasance by virtue of a blatantly dishonest job title. Flexible hours, competitive pay and benefits.

"Civil Libertities" (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923135)

If this goes the way things like this seem to go they will get Dick Cheney to fill it.

Re:"Civil Libertities" (1)

ae1294 (1547521) | about 9 months ago | (#44923693)

If this goes the way things like this seem to go they will get Dick Cheney to fill it.

Now now the NSA isn't that evil... You're thinking the FBI... They have been violating the law since the very start!

Only power for that official that matters (3, Insightful)

IamTheRealMike (537420) | about 9 months ago | (#44923139)

The ability to instantly and unilaterally declassify anything, without any fear of retribution.

Fat chance.

Hire Patrick Swayze (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923147)

He's probably looking for a good job right now and we saw how skilled he was the first time he was a Ghost.

Personally... (2)

king neckbeard (1801738) | about 9 months ago | (#44923149)

I nominate an adorable puppy. They will protect our civil liberties as much as whomever they decide to hire will be able to, will be more adorable than any adult human, and will work for costs significantly below minimum wage. They would probably even be good for morale within the NSA.

Re:Personally... (2)

omnichad (1198475) | about 9 months ago | (#44923523)

I think the NSA's cat video program has already had a much higher participation rate. They've been able to track millions of people through views. Who else do you think posts all these videos?

Fall guy (2)

rfrenzob (163001) | about 9 months ago | (#44923151)

Wanted: Someone to take the public's wrath and the shocked outrage of Congress the next time there is a scandal.

By accepting this position, you acknowledge and accept that you will be terminated during or immediately after the required investigation during the next scandal.

Benefits include full medical, dental, vision, 5 weeks a year vacation.

Re:Fall guy (1)

Bucc5062 (856482) | about 9 months ago | (#44923445)

I'll take it. The second sentence is just nonsensical since Congress would never really investigate the NSA. They would hold hearings of course. The stoog....the CL/P officer would dance around the questions and all would go home with the knowledge that the USofA is still safe from evil doers (and we know who you are). What amazes me in regards to the "position" is that if the existing personally just subscribe to existing laws (ZOMG) there would be no need for such a lackey reporting to the director. The CL/P should be Congress. The CL/P should be the President. Yet somehow a government agency needs another body to tell them they are acting against the law of the land and "they better darn well stop that or else"...what? So to the NSA (who I knopw regularly reads /.), let me know who to send my resume to for review. I can work from home, I can read, and with a minor bump in pay (or a new tractor) I can parrot anything you want me to say. (Oh wait, that sounds like I'm running for office)

Re:Fall guy (1)

Sarten-X (1102295) | about 9 months ago | (#44923869)

Congress, the president, and the managers at the NSA all have conflicts of interest. The law of the land says "action X is illegal", but the NSA isn't really doing X... they're doing almost-but-not-quite-X action Y. Neither Congress or the president will stop them, because they want the results and don't care how it happens.

This position should be arranged so they have the power to say "We can't do X, because of these particular reasons", but can then approve Z which is just different enough to be legal. Whereas the rest of the NSA measures success by disrupting enemy plots and weakening enemy technology, the CLPO would measure success by the (lack of) programs that are questioned in those hearings.

Who would want to work there anymore? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923159)

Seriously, who would want to work there anymore?

Whoever they hire is going to have camera's and microphones up their butt, in their home, with everything they ever do or have done on the internet recorded and scrutinized for the rest of their lives. wait...

Re:Who would want to work there anymore? (3, Interesting)

AHuxley (892839) | about 9 months ago | (#44923423)

People who know its a pathway to becoming a contractor.
People who know its the path to getting a pension.
People who know its the path to clearances that ensures future funding.
People who know its the path to clearances that ensures future tech and math job security.
People who know they want to work with telco, crypto and math with a real budget and as a core mission.
Second and third generations with clearances.
The ideological testing for the next gen admins will be expensive. Internal file encryption and more compartmentalisation will have to be contracted in too.
Less people, no trust, more work, been recorded, been scrutinized, ever more domestic data to sort, languages via new contractors..
Spy agencies who put their staff under that kind of pressure always know the results long term.

Actual job: (1)

darrellg1 (969068) | about 9 months ago | (#44923161)

Make sure we are able to hide any infringements on civil liberties.

Just wondering... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923167)

It's odd that they're not even trying to convince foreigners that they should continue using US based web services. That's, after all, where the money really comes from.

Mining Companies (1)

JabrTheHut (640719) | about 9 months ago | (#44923173)

This reminds of how the Australian mining companies stopped growing environmental awareness from impacting their business. They lobbied the Australian Government, and the environmentalists moved from being government employees to mining company employees. I've heard mining company environmentalists say things like "We're not as bad as other mining companies when it comes to pollution" and "Some mining companies don't let their environmentalists leave their office. We have much more freedom" without a trace of irony.

This position will have the same effect. Whoever takes it will find themselves saying "We're better than Google when it comes to people's privacy" without even a trace of Fe to be found.

Ooh! (3, Funny)

Greyfox (87712) | about 9 months ago | (#44923175)

I'd shoot them a resume but I hear Wally from Dilbert already got the job.

Who should apply? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923179)

Snowden should send his CV for starters.

Candidates (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923189)

I can think of two people who would be really, really good at this, but I think they might have some visa problems getting over for the interview.

Trust us, we're the government! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923209)

We need... a guy... yep, a guy to make sure that the millions of dollars we spend on illegally spying on the American public don't get spent illegally spying on the American public. That will fix it! Now look away...

Senior Shouting Officer: (1)

Hartree (191324) | about 9 months ago | (#44923271)

I can't be the only one to think that. :)

That is a job..... (1)

BluPhenix316 (2656403) | about 9 months ago | (#44923279)

I really would not want. You are basically the NSA's scape goat. Any privacy related issues would have to go through you and you would become the NSA's whipping boy. Even if you agree with what the NSA is doing, that job has gotta be frightening.

Yes you do! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923389)

I really would not want. You are basically the NSA's scape goat. Any privacy related issues would have to go through you and you would become the NSA's whipping boy. Even if you agree with what the NSA is doing, that job has gotta be frightening.

Look it - this is a GOVERNMENT position here - not corporate.

IN other words, you'd be paid 6 figures or so (can't tell exactly what the job requires or pays because the link is requiring a PeopleSoft login! WTF! Subby!) and it'd be CUSHY as all hell! Sure, there may be on occasion dealing with Congress' grandstanding horseshit, but you'd be crying all the way to the bank.

AND when - not if - when you have to resign, then you get a nice 7 figure lobbying job, use of private corporate jets, and all the loose women and drugs you could ever ask for.

Government work at this level is a guaranteed path to being rich, getting power, and settin' up the rest of your family.

You've never worked government, have you? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923779)

Four figure? Definitely. Maybe just about into five figures. Not even the president of the USA gets a high five-figure salary.

At high levels, though (or even lower down, depending on how well you'll sell yourself to lobbies), the payoff isn't anything to do with government payouts AT ALL. It's a job to a position in commercial business on six or even seven figure (if you count in benefits) salaries for a job well done for the companies who are impeded by the nominal activities of the department you worked for.

Government payout is extremely shit.

But if you get to Washington, DC, the job gets you CONNECTIONS. And those connections will be getting you a PRIVATE INDUSTRY job that will pay a pension many times the size of your salary (even including any benefits) of the government job you had.

Resume (4, Funny)

puddingebola (2036796) | about 9 months ago | (#44923285)

I have 42 years experience as a human rights adviser for the United States government.

1976-1978 Special adviser in Iran to Mohammad Reza Pahlavi

1980-1982 Special adviser in Indonesia for Suhartro on civil liberties.

1982-1989 U.S. embassy Chile. Served as adviser to Augusto Pinochet on civil liberties.

Re:Resume (1)

Bosconian (158140) | about 9 months ago | (#44923465)

Your necessary qualifications should also include Cognitive Dissonance (Level IV, but if you believe you're a Level V, we will accept that) and Reality Distortion Warp experience (6 years in a public-facing position. We noticed you wrote "3 years" here but after tallying the total experience reported worked, your history qualifies.)

Re:Resume (1)

ae1294 (1547521) | about 9 months ago | (#44923749)

Hummm wait a minu ..... o right! you're HIRED! First order of business kill Larry in IT he looks like a hippy...

No teeth (3, Insightful)

Virtucon (127420) | about 9 months ago | (#44923299)

This position has no teeth and will exist as a figure head when people and the "shocked" congressional delegates bring up questions of what the NSA is doing.

That way when congress starts up their faux hearings regarding NSA breaches of law and privacy you have put this figure head up there right next to the Director and when a question of Civil Liberties, violations of privacy etc. come up he can just deflect and say "Let me turn you over to our Chief Privacy and Civil Liberties Officer who will address your questions."

The NSA needs to go and the CIA needs to absorb the foreign intelligence functions that the NSA is supposedly mandated to perform. What still stinks to high shit is the recent budget that was passed in the house curiously doesn't de-fund the NSA so consider all the members of congress as violators of your rights and in violation of protecting and defending the Constitution. Considering there's an election in 13 months for Congress and 1/3 of the Senate seats, it's time to start sending a message to these arrogant fucktards that our Privacy and Civil Liberties should not become bargaining chips for passing legislative acts, they're rights we all need to fight for. Send money to the EFF and the ACLU and start getting your friends, family and colleagues informed about the issues we all face and frankly, vote all of these morons out of office because the constant money machine in politics and congressional re-election rates (over 70%) is killing your rights.

And hereafter, the NSA shall be known as (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923333)

The Ministry of Privacy

Can I nominate Edward Snowden? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923345)

The only remotely plausible candidate. Um... hopefully he can work remotely.

Worst Job Ever (2)

cookYourDog (3030961) | about 9 months ago | (#44923357)

Look what happened to the last guy who decided to fulfill the requirements of this job - he sought asylum in Russia!

Re:Worst Job Ever (1)

ae1294 (1547521) | about 9 months ago | (#44923783)

Look what happened to the last guy who decided to fulfill the requirements of this job - he sought asylum in Russia!

O no... CHINA then Russia... that says a lot right there... Doesn't sound like some shit I'd be wanting to do unless scared shitless... He's probably having tea right now with kindly Vlad-amir... More isotope with ur tea Mr snowden?

Translation: Spy on citizens, not us. (3, Insightful)

gestalt_n_pepper (991155) | about 9 months ago | (#44923403)

And we'll want a spy in your organization to make sure you don't spy on us.

missing from description (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923479)

primary job functions: bullshit shoveling, towing the company line, smiling and looking pretty.

primary qualifications: proficient liar, ability to verbosely respond to any query without really 'saying' anything.

Some things you want on your resume' (1)

rbrander (73222) | about 9 months ago | (#44923485)

Good background would include:

- Environmental officer for a West Virginia mountaintop-removal coal company

- Human rights officer for the Syrian Army

- Risk Management officer for Lehman Brothers

- PhD from the Sorbonne in empty gestures

Translation (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923541)

We got too much heat and need a scapegoat. If you wish you had an important sounding job and don't mind getting served up to a hoard of starving dogs, please apply. Thanks from your law breaking agency, the NSA.

Here's a question... (3, Insightful)

petrus4 (213815) | about 9 months ago | (#44923545)

Possibly slightly offtopic; but is there any legal avenue that could be persued, towards the eventual goal of having the NSA abolished?

Re:Here's a question... (1)

AHuxley (892839) | about 9 months ago | (#44923667)

There is only so much political power, funding and prestige within the US gov.
Recall where the NSA was seen to be in the early-mid 1990's?
Note where the NSA got to in the past ~10 years. Funding, staff, political access do not just get created..
Other contractors and agencies felt that rearrangement as them not winning.
In the West you go to the press until you get your funding back and the old order is restored.

Re:Here's a question... (1)

spottedkangaroo (451692) | about 9 months ago | (#44923719)

It's called shoveling money to the EFF. They won something sorta recently along these lines, but there's a long way to go.

Argyl or Cotton? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923587)

TFA doesn't mention what kind of sock this new puppet is to be made of.

Eric Snowden we need you now... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923597)

Isn't it obvious? The one guy who would give up everything to enlighten others.
He might work on line from Russia.

It's a Marketing Job (1)

EmagGeek (574360) | about 9 months ago | (#44923599)

The posting itself is slashdotted right now, but I'd bet dollars to donuts the requirements include a long list of marketing skills, since that is undoubtedly what this job really is.

website for application (3, Funny)

nimbius (983462) | about 9 months ago | (#44923679)

We here at the NSA would like to thank slashdot for its interest in this position.
Due to overwhelming traffic, our website may become inaccessible from time to time. should you find yourself unable to connect or submit your CV, please try these steps:

1. calmly speak your resume into any cellphone, preceded by one or more of the words: "Terror, Obama, Occupy, Syria"
2. Purchase one Quran, Disposable mobile phone, and one tank of propane to speak with a member of our team about the job opening.
3. open a copy of your CV in any Microsoft Operating System.

regards,
oscar nascar pickle marmalade1234
NSA Human Resources

Oh well everything is fixed now. (1)

Karmashock (2415832) | about 9 months ago | (#44923723)

Everyone go home... false alarm.

Yeah Right. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#44923855)

Hardy-Har-Har. Much like advertising for a "abstinence officer" in a Nevada Brothel.

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