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No, Oreos Aren't As Addictive As Cocaine

Soulskill posted about 10 months ago | from the time-to-abandon-my-latest-business-plans dept.

Medicine 285

Daniel_Stuckey writes "If you give a mouse a cookie, you can spend all day following it around the house while it wants to do a bunch of tedious activities. Or, you can trap it in a box, keep feeding it cookies, and then make the outrageous claim that Oreos are as addictive as cocaine. Students at Connecticut College opted for the second option, and the consequences that ensued were much more annoying than making some arts and crafts with a darn mouse. Fox News reported that a 'College study finds Oreo cookies are as addictive as drugs,' Forbes explained 'Why Your Brain Treats Oreos Like a Drug,' and a ton of other sites ran with the story as well. Here's how the experiment, which has not been peer reviewed and has not been presented yet, went down. Mice were placed in a maze, with one end holding an Oreo and the other end holding a rice cake. The mice, without fail, decided to eat the Oreo over the rice cake, proving once and for all that mice like cookies better than tasteless discs with a styrofoamy texture."

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Cookies (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45146923)

Cookies are delicious delicacies

Grandmapocalypse! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45146949)

you know what IS [dashnet.org] as addictive as cocaine?!!

Re:Grandmapocalypse! (1)

Joining Yet Again (2992179) | about 10 months ago | (#45147055)

Eh it's fun for a day or two, like most things on the Internet that follow the same formula.

Re:Grandmapocalypse! (1)

Sir_Eptishous (873977) | about 10 months ago | (#45147469)

Try this [google.com]

Re:Cookies (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147219)

I must have some weird genetic disorder, because I think Oreos are bloody awful. Positively vile. In fact, the only ostensibly sweet confection I've had that was worse was a Hershey bar, which seemed like eating solidified excrement mixed with sand. With all due respect, Americans really need some lessons in how to make chocolate; even cooking chocolate (the kind that's basically 50% vegetable oil) tastes better than anything I've eaten from that side of the Atlantic.

Re:Cookies (0, Flamebait)

interval1066 (668936) | about 10 months ago | (#45147265)

Yes. treacle, blood pudding, and clotted cream biscuits are much better than anything over here. We eat pure shit compared to the delicacies to be had in your dusty corner for the world.

Re:Cookies (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147415)

You'll have to be more specific about the treacle as it goes from clear to near-black. Blood pudding? If you meant black pudding, that's a savoury item. As for clotted cream biscuits, they're not biscuits even by the American use of the word and clotted cream is basically just thick whipped cream. They're usually served warm with jam and a cup of tea.

Spray-on cheese. Now the ball's in your court.

Re:Cookies (5, Funny)

Quasimodem (719423) | about 10 months ago | (#45147275)

It's a good thing Oreos aren't as addictive as a drug.

Imaging if you took a hit of Oreos, got high, then got the munchies, ate Oreos, got high, then got the munchies, ate Oreos.... etc.

Rice cakes ain't that bad. (1)

Sir_Eptishous (873977) | about 10 months ago | (#45146929)

If you apply your favorite peanut butter, then the it holds the notoriously fractious cake together better.

Re:Rice cakes ain't that bad. (2)

Darinbob (1142669) | about 10 months ago | (#45147287)

Or you can use Nutella!

Re:Rice cakes ain't that bad. (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147537)

Or you can throw that Nutella in the garbage where it fucking belongs and use something good!

obviously (2)

BenSchuarmer (922752) | about 10 months ago | (#45146931)

there's nothing worse than having little bits of cookie up your nose.

Re:obviously (4, Funny)

CanHasDIY (1672858) | about 10 months ago | (#45146939)

Which is why smart addicts choose to freebase 'em.

This experiment was already done years ago (5, Informative)

themushroom (197365) | about 10 months ago | (#45146937)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_You_Give_a_Mouse_a_Cookie

Who Moved My Cookies? (1)

tepples (727027) | about 10 months ago | (#45146957)

Also Who Moved My Cookies? [wikipedia.org] If the cookies in a particular cookie depot get stale, mice will seek new cookies. Lilliputians, on the other hand, will pout and piss and moan about cookies losing their taste, rationalizing their lack of action based on imagined dangers out in the maze.

Re:Who Moved My Cookies? (1)

TapeCutter (624760) | about 10 months ago | (#45147239)

Be warned, if you work for big blue and they show you the "who stole my cheese" video, it generally means your whole department is about to be axed.

Re:This experiment was already done years ago (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147029)

Yes, good old right-wing early childhood indoctrination. Murrica!

Re:This experiment was already done years ago (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147061)

Down with the patriarchy!

Re:This experiment was already done years ago (1)

lgw (121541) | about 10 months ago | (#45147419)

Yes, good old right-wing early childhood indoctrination. Murrica!

Beloved by such right-wing icons as Charles Schulz, Oprah Winfrey, and Michele Obama.

Re:This experiment was already done years ago (1)

RabidReindeer (2625839) | about 10 months ago | (#45147211)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_You_Give_a_Mouse_a_Cookie

But if you teach a mouse to make cookies...

Re:This experiment was already done years ago (4, Funny)

Darinbob (1142669) | about 10 months ago | (#45147321)

Do not... I repeat, do not... Eat a raisin oatmeal cookie made by mice.

Re:This experiment was already done years ago (1)

R3d M3rcury (871886) | about 10 months ago | (#45147317)

Just remember that cookies are a sometimes food. [youtube.com]

Re:This experiment was already done years ago (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147507)

Don't remind me Sesame Street raped my childhood.

Re:This experiment was already done years ago (1)

X0563511 (793323) | about 10 months ago | (#45147437)

When you posted that, was the reference not already in the summary? Because it is now, and it makes you look incredibly lame :P

Sounds kinda like the Rat Park study (5, Interesting)

mayko (1630637) | about 10 months ago | (#45146941)

Seems reasonable that when you lock an animal (including humans) in a shitty little box it's going to over indulge in activities that work on the pleasure centers of the brain. However, given freedom and a wide range of stimuli it might be less susceptible to addiction as we have defined it. See the controversial Rat Park study (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park) which showed evidence that when researchers gave lab rats a suitable and pleasurable living environment opiates were no longer addictive.

Re:Sounds kinda like the Rat Park study (1)

TapeCutter (624760) | about 10 months ago | (#45147271)

OTOH, if you wire a rats pleasure center up to a lever it can pull to give itself pleasure, the sucker will hang on to that lever until it dies of exhaustion.

Re:Sounds kinda like the Rat Park study (1)

CODiNE (27417) | about 10 months ago | (#45147447)

No longer AS addictive. Environment isn't the only factor, otherwise rich people wouldn't become addicts and alcoholics.

If environment were the main factor you could just put people in high priced treatment centers full of waterfalls and back rubs resulting in 100% recovery.

I agree that Rat Park was an interesting experiment but some people tend to take its results and run away with them. Oversimplifying to support their politics.

Re:Sounds kinda like the Rat Park study (1)

phantomfive (622387) | about 10 months ago | (#45147463)

you could just put people in high priced treatment centers full of waterfalls and back rubs resulting in 100% recovery.

That sounds so great

They should build one of those for recovering programmers.

Press release from a not even published poster. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45146945)

And you can't even be mad at this one since it is done by undergrads.

Re:Press release from a not even published poster. (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147121)

And you can't even be mad at this one since it is done by undergrads.

Yes, actually you can, this "study" isn't acceptable even by High School standards. For someone pursuing a Major course of study to make such obvious, fundamental procedural errors it's downright shameful.

They never ran any kind of control on the maze. They should have put rice cakes at BOTH exits and ran the mice through a large number of times to prove that the design of the maze isn't leading the mice to the "drugs" exit more frequently.
They never ran any direct comparison between the Oreos and the Cocaine. Just because mice chose Cocaine over Rice, and chose Oreos over Rice, DOES NOT lead to the conclusion that Oreos are the same as Cocaine. That's basic, fundamental logic they should have learned in GRADE SCHOOL.

There are only TWO possible explanation for this "study". Either these undergrads are a pack of completely incompetent fucking morons.... or they snorted all the Coke they were supposed to be using for the experiment and faked the data.

Re:Press release from a not even published poster. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147251)

To be fair you also learn in grade school to try to falsify your hypothesis, most scientists fail to do this and instead try to falsify the opposite of their hypothesis (the null hypothesis). You also learn to describe your material and methods in detail. This is actively discouraged by higher tier journals.

So I can see why college students would be confused about following the scientific method they learned earlier.

Re:Press release from a not even published poster. (5, Insightful)

TapeCutter (624760) | about 10 months ago | (#45147371)

And you can't even be mad at this one since it is done by undergrads.

Yes, actually you can....

Seriously, a press beat up about a bunch of collage kids screwing up their class science project makes you "mad"? - And who are you mad at? - Strangely it's not the "journalist" who manufactured the beat up, it's the kids!! Little wonder the American public are so easily manipulated via their own media outlets.

Re:Press release from a not even published poster. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147377)

Clearly you haven't met many current undergrads. It's likely both possible explanations are true.

Someone actually read past the headlines!? (1)

neverwhere9 (2597405) | about 10 months ago | (#45146959)

I saw this on Reddit a while ago, and most people either believed it or thought it was bullshit for other reasons. Reading how an experiment is conducted is usually the first thing I do. It's like a crap detector built right into the study.

Re:Someone actually read past the headlines!? (0)

Billy Buzz (3384583) | about 10 months ago | (#45147213)

Heh, you said Reddit....

Re:Someone actually read past the headlines!? (1)

vlueboy (1799360) | about 10 months ago | (#45147551)

I'm more concerned that Soulskill killed a fun potential application of Betteridge's law of headlines. Curses!
It's supposed to pose a question for me answer in nerdrage!

Media Reporting is as addictive as cocaine. (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45146961)

Proof? They both seem to result in crazy people making stupid decision.

My reasoning is unassailable.

Hmm.. (2)

girlintraining (1395911) | about 10 months ago | (#45146963)

The mice, without fail, decided to eat the Oreo over the rice cake, proving once and for all that mice like cookies better than tasteless discs with a styrofoamy texture.

Of course, amongst women, the opposite behavior is seen. At least the ones I know. Does this mean that the tasteless discs with a styrofoam-like texture are actually highly addictive? No. Which means it's easier to get addicted to an abstract ideal about beauty than it is an Oreo cookie. Surprised, I am not. In other news, find me a picture of this professor so I can photoshop him into a new meme along the lines of "I don't want to live on this planet anymore." I'd be ashamed if my students arrived at such a far-fetched and obviously wrong solution, and I allowed them to publish it... it would make me wonder if I'd managed to teach them anything at all...

Re:Hmm.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147011)

You sound fat...

Re:Hmm.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147267)

Any press is good press.

Captcha: floppy

Re:Hmm.. (1)

techno-vampire (666512) | about 10 months ago | (#45147473)

I suspect two things: first, that the only thing that the instructor managed to teach was how important it is to your career to publish as much as you can. Second, that the instructor doesn't really give a flip of the fingertip that that's all that was learned.

Re:Hmm.. (1)

jc42 (318812) | about 10 months ago | (#45147545)

I'd be ashamed if my students arrived at such a far-fetched and obviously wrong solution, and I allowed them to publish it... it would make me wonder if I'd managed to teach them anything at all...

Ummm ... The story seems to make it clear that this "study" hasn't been published at all. But it did get leaked to the mass media, who did their usual scientifically-illiterate hack job on it, and used it to support their own favorite beliefs.

The only story here is the usual one about how the media finds ways to radically distort both the best and the worst "scientific" work into social propaganda. This includes routinely presenting work that can't even vaguely qualify for the term "scientific" as a "Science says ..." news story.

Oreo addiction (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45146965)

As a white male I could get addicted to being in between 2 gorgeous black girls. Where do I sign up?

Re:Oreo addiction (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147295)

Extrapolating.... three > two goto theweathergirlsitsrainingmen.com. Next day delivery.

Mice = Calorie Hunters (3, Insightful)

PortHaven (242123) | about 10 months ago | (#45146969)

Clearly, what they demonstrated was that the mice would go for the item with the highest density of calories & fat.

Duh...

Now make it really interesting, replace rice patty with a peanut butter cup. And it's an all out rat race.

Re:Mice = Calorie Hunters (2)

Impy the Impiuos Imp (442658) | about 10 months ago | (#45147093)

There was an interesting study from 30 years ago where they fed people whipped concoctions woth varying amounts of sugar and fat.

The thinner you were, the more you preferred the sweeter ones, and the fatter, the fatter ones. As fat contains more calories per unit than sugar, it could be enlightening...

If anyone actually paid attention, which they don't. Basically fat people are fat more because of cheeseburgers and pizza than cakes and donuts.
Actually, it correlates with diet soda. Actually, it correlates with emphasis on low salt and low fat. Actually, it correlates with longer haircuts for men keeping the head warmer and cutting energy loss by 25%. Actually it correlates with far more bread and pasta per meal, upping calories by 2/5ths. Actually...

Re:Mice = Calorie Hunters (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147281)

And something about pirates. Definitely pirates.

Re:Mice = Calorie Hunters (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147491)

I guess you're a Connecticut College alumnus.

Re:Mice = Calorie Hunters (1)

foniksonik (573572) | about 10 months ago | (#45147131)

No, they should have put cocaine at the other end. Then we'd know for sure if Oreos are as addictive as cocaine. A simple test made complex by lack of the right resources.

Stopped reading at (2, Interesting)

sl4shd0rk (755837) | about 10 months ago | (#45146983)

..Fox News

Re:Stopped reading at (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147109)

Had it been MSNBC you'd believe every word and accuse Big Junk Food of killing people for profits.

Re:Stopped reading at (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147199)

..Fox News

--
Ignorance is a choice

At least from your sig (quoted to preserve in case of future changes) you realize that your myopia is a decision you're making. Bravo!

Oreos found 0% addictive (5, Informative)

flug (589009) | about 10 months ago | (#45146991)

He's developed his own measure for it: The percentage of people who will develop the disease of dependency, based on the DSM-IV guidelines, if they use a drug. . . .

"According to that, the most chemically addictive is nicotine because one third of people who use it during their lifetime will develop dependency," he said. "For cocaine, it's 20 percent. For heroin, it's 23 percent."

So by that standard, Oreos = 0% addictive.

Oh, well.

Feynman said "we know better now" (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45146993)

in his "cargo cult science" address, referring to dealing with subtleties invalidating results from having rats run through mazes.

I'd always though he wasn't quite right about that. This should shed some light on the issue, no?

But.... (0)

bradgoodman (964302) | about 10 months ago | (#45147005)

I read on the Internet that they are....

if food is as addictive as drugs.... (2)

wbr1 (2538558) | about 10 months ago | (#45147009)

...the either have a war on food, or legalize drugs.

Re:if food is as addictive as drugs.... (2)

JeanCroix (99825) | about 10 months ago | (#45147075)

Bloomberg is way ahead of you.

Michelle chose the second option (2)

raymorris (2726007) | about 10 months ago | (#45147111)

and Michelle Obama chose "have a war on food".
This while her husband was mandating the mass burning of vegetables.

Future Psychologists/Psychiatrists (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147017)

So...they have the requisite skills to be Phd. wielding Psychologists/Psychiatrists then.
Watch the ADHD/ADD diagnosis rates climb even higher in the coming years.

Here's how you know it's bs (0)

Reverand Dave (1959652) | about 10 months ago | (#45147021)

"Fox News reported that a..."

Re:Here's how you know it's bs (2)

operagost (62405) | about 10 months ago | (#45147103)

Apparently, Forbes, the Washington Times, the NY Post, et al are also summarily dismissed, right?

New flash: idiots abound in the media. See: Blair, Jayson.

Re:Here's how you know it's bs (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147191)

The Washington Times certainly is. It's owned by who? Oh yeah, the Reverend Moon. Who formed it to advance his own agenda.

The New York Post is owned by News Corp.

Forbes is different from Forbes.com which is:

"In contrast to the Forbes magazine, the website Forbes.com uses a "contributor model" in which a wide network of "Contributors" writes and publishes articles directly on the website.[15] The Forbes staff does not assign stories, fact check, or edit contributions, and Contributors write stories about any topic they choose."

So...yes, they are.

Re:Here's how you know it's bs (1)

Reverand Dave (1959652) | about 10 months ago | (#45147231)

They abound everywhere, but they congregate, centralize, and thrive at Fox. The times, post and forbes don't approach the level of idiocy at fox. Saying they all suck is really a poor excuse.

Re:Here's how you know it's bs (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147353)

B-but...Faux News. I'm witty, smart, edgy, and original now, right?

Re:Here's how you know it's bs (3, Informative)

CanHasDIY (1672858) | about 10 months ago | (#45147237)

Here:

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/53293963/ns/local_news-indianapolis_in/ [nbcnews.com]

Exact same fucking story.

Now, can we please start acting like grown ups, and stop pretending that there's any notable difference between the Corporate Media Networks?

Re:Here's how you know it's bs (1)

Reverand Dave (1959652) | about 10 months ago | (#45147435)

mmmm bacon.

Re:Here's how you know it's bs (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147497)

"Conservatives say MSNBC is biased, but liberals say Fox News is evil."

Key is read the data... (1)

Steve_Ussler (2941703) | about 10 months ago | (#45147049)

Not the headlines!

"As addictive as drugs" (4, Interesting)

bradgoodman (964302) | about 10 months ago | (#45147053)

I pushed the "stupid" button as soon as I read that. You can't just compare something to "drugs" - because different drugs work differently - and have differing levels of addictive qualities for very different reasons. For example, diploids (like Heroin) jack with your dopamine levels and are highly addictive, whereas stimulants (like cocaine) or depressants (like alcohol) can have very different affects in different people due to things like genetic factors, and mechanisms for ADD (which affect how stimulants affect you) - but in general are less addictive. Then there are things like tobacco that aren't "drugs" - but are also highly addictive.

So in other words...WTF??

(P.S. I'm not really educated in any of this kind of stuff and don't really know what I'm talking about - so don't bother correcting me)

Re:"As addictive as drugs" (2)

roc97007 (608802) | about 10 months ago | (#45147159)

Mod up.

I think WTF is, the kids doing the "study" knew exactly what kind of phrases to use to make it highly likely that news sources would run with the story. It's kinda like a news outlet version of a "mail forward".

In fact, this could be an entertaining game, if it isn't already. Produce some bogus datum, wrap it in the kind of buzzwords news outlets find irresistible, and see what national news agencies fall for it.

Re:"As addictive as drugs" (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147261)

But if they dont correct you, how are you gonna learn?

Re:"As addictive as drugs" (1)

CanHasDIY (1672858) | about 10 months ago | (#45147269)

(P.S. I'm not really educated in any of this kind of stuff and don't really know what I'm talking about - so don't bother correcting me)

Actually, your assessment is pretty much spot on - "drugs" describes an uncountable number of substances, many of which are legal and some which are not.

Even if we assumed the writer was specifically referring to illicit/illegal drugs, there's still a few thousand different kinds, each with its own properties and addiction rates.

Stupid hardly even begins to describe what's going on here, both with the "researcher's" study and the "journalists" reporting it.

Re:"As addictive as drugs" (1)

Obfuscant (592200) | about 10 months ago | (#45147429)

You can't just compare something to "drugs" - because different drugs work differently -

The fact that they have differing mechanisms of action doesn't mean you can't compare something to them. And the fact that something isn't technically a drug (tobacco) doesn't mean it can't be addictive and doesn't mean it doesn't in fact contain a drug (nicotine).

and have differing levels of addictive qualities

Here's where the sensationalism of this /. submission can be addressed. The "Motherboard" article goes to great length to disparage this experiment, but also admits that "addiction" isn't mentioned in the DSM-IV. That is a good indication that the term "addiction" can only be used in a common meaning, not some specific psychological diagnosis sense. In common parlance "addiction" means a strong urge to do something, not a pure clinical dependence such as you'd refer to "heroin dependence" as. Common parlance, such as the language a press release for CT College would be written in, for example.

Somewhere there was a comment about being addicted to food. As in, you can't be. Well, yes, you can, in the pure dependence meaning of the term, too. If you don't eat food you suffer extreme withdrawal symptoms. Death can be a final symptom. And you can be addicted to foods in the common language meaning of addiction. Mmmm, I love mint chocolate chip ice cream. I have a strong urge to eat it. If it is anywhere close, I will. Sorry, that was your scoop? You shouldn't leave it on the table.

And, OMG, this isn't a peer reviewed publication. It sounds like it was an advanced undergrad lab experience. You know, undergrads who are there to learn techniques and maybe get excited about, you know, STEM education? You don't peer review independent study or undergrad teaching labs.

I deal with REU where I work. Research Experiences for Undergrads. Yes, sometimes their work is part of a larger project that is published in peer reviewed journals. Most of the time they produce a report and maybe a seminar about what they did and that's as far as it goes. So, no, the fact that it isn't peer reviewed in this case, well, yawn.

11 parts sugar, 89 parts lard (1)

Deadstick (535032) | about 10 months ago | (#45147063)

What's the white stuff in an Oreo, Alex?

Re:11 parts sugar, 89 parts lard (3, Interesting)

ArcadeMan (2766669) | about 10 months ago | (#45147169)

It cannot be lard as Oreo cookies are one of the very rare commercially-made treat that also happens to be vegan except maybe the white sugar in it, if you're an extreme vegan.

Re:11 parts sugar, 89 parts lard (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147207)

Corn-oil based imitation lard.

Re:11 parts sugar, 89 parts lard (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147443)

It cannot be lard as Oreo cookies are one of the very rare commercially-made treat that also happens to be vegan except maybe the white sugar in it, if you're an extreme vegan.

Recipe changed over time. For nearly 40 years the filling did include lard, then back in the health-crazed 90's they switched to partially hydrogenated vegetable oil and more recently they switched to non hydrogenated vegetable oil to drop the trans fats.

There's a reason Oreos started getting chocolate coated and coming in a variety of flavors starting in the 90's and its got a lot to do with distracting consumers from the downgrade in taste caused by the lack of lard.

Re:11 parts sugar, 89 parts lard (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147543)

If refined sugar isn't vegan does it mean that tofu isn't as well?

Science News Cycle (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147069)

So, it's basically an example of the "science news cycle:"
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1174

BS (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147077)

I can go without Oreos but not coke.

So cocaine must not be that bad then, huh? (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147081)

You know more than a few people must have thought that when this piece of shit excuse for a "study" made its way into the headlines. Just how many years now will I - or the great minds of /. - have to go around correcting morons who will repeat this shit, having never bothered to read the article, learn about the source, to critically analyze the source, to think about the study, to see what, if any, corroborating evidence was subsequently discovered or not, and checked for any retractions or clear refutations? Beyond that, what the fuck ever happened to journalism?

Damn it all to hell, I need an Oreo. (1.86 Stuf please)

Mom sez... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147107)

If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want a glass milk.
If you give him some milk, he'll want more. If you give a mouse more milk, he'll develop a taste for human blood.
  If he develops a taste for human blood, he'll become a vampire. If he becomes a vampire, he'll have to make followers.
Now, if he makes some followers, they'll need to feed. If they feed too much, the national guard will be called out.
If the national gaurd is called out, they, too, will become fodder for the vampires. If the national guard fails, the President will call in a nuclear strike.
If a nuke is dropped, hundreds of thousands of people will die. America will become a nuclear wasteland and collapse.
With no one to keep the rest of the world's nukes in check, every crackpot nation will launch their own.
Eventually the entire earth will be destroyed. And that's why I had to kill Daddy.
He was giving a mouse a cookie. Sleep well, sweetie.

Re:Mom sez... (1)

ArcadeMan (2766669) | about 10 months ago | (#45147187)

Thanks for the laugh.

Re:Mom sez... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147313)

Yeah, but if it's one of those other kinds of vampire mice, you know, the ones that run around with eye shadow and glitter, and fight weremice (who also wear eye shadow and glitter), you don't have as much to worry about. Not nukes, just lots of angsty drama queen type stuff. Dramamice.

rice cakes (4, Funny)

roc97007 (608802) | about 10 months ago | (#45147119)

> The mice, without fail, decided to eat the Oreo over the rice cake, proving once and for all that mice like cookies better than tasteless discs with a styrofoamy texture."

Hey, I happen to like rice cakes. They're nice and crunchy, and they taste good. With a little cinnamon. And powdered sugar. And peanut butter. And then drenched with maple syrup.

Yes, the diet is coming along fine, why do you ask?

Well, here's a more nuanced view. (1)

DiscountBorg(TM) (1262102) | about 10 months ago | (#45147145)

Which seems to indicate that there is some basis for comparability between the two, even if they are different, and further research is needed.

"the articles from this symposium provide evidence that neurological similarities exist in the response of humans (6) and rats (7,9) to foods and to drugs. Two of the reports (6,7), as well as our own work (14–16), suggest that even highly palatable food is not addictive in and of itself. Rather, it is the manner in which the food is presented (i.e., intermittently) and consumed (i.e., repeated, intermittent “gorging”) that appears to entrain the addiction-like process. Such consummatory patterns are associated with increased risk for comorbid complications as well as relapse and make treatment particularly challenging. The topic of food addiction bears study, therefore, to develop fresh approaches to clinical intervention and to advance our understanding of basic mechanisms involved in loss of control."

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2714380/ [nih.gov]

Re:Well, here's a more nuanced view. (1)

DiscountBorg(TM) (1262102) | about 10 months ago | (#45147157)

(Note, I'm not responding to the criticism of the not-peer-reviewed study in the article which I agree is a useless study, but rather its later assertion).

Obamacare (1)

p51d007 (656414) | about 10 months ago | (#45147173)

Not peer reviewed, but it won't matter. Moochele Obama will latch onto this like a (well you know), and will start proclaiming that this is "proof" we need to restrict sugar, carbs bla bla bla. Stuff like this, with the 30 second attention span of the average person, makes it easier to control them.

Network Programming (1)

VortexCortex (1117377) | about 10 months ago | (#45147193)

I don't think anyone has truly considered the ramifications of superintelligent pandimensional projections appearing as mice and influencing our experiments... How else would you program a global scale quantum supercomputer made up of sentient neural network applications? Consider that to us, any observable differentiation between themselves normal laboratory mice would directly collapse the delicate superposition of science and fiction...

Ergo: The more important question is: WHY do the mice want you to think they like Oreos as much as cocaine? Could it be to lessen the stigma against consuming mind altering stimulants to that of a biscuit? Clearly, we are being overclocked.

Withdrawal symptoms? (1)

CCarrot (1562079) | about 10 months ago | (#45147215)

IDK about you, but you don't want to be anywhere near me when my Oreo supply runs out...I'll cut you, bitch! I'll cut you deep! :)

Seriously, though, at first I thought this was a legit test, but it's pure BS. A better* test would be three groups of mice in three mazes: Cookie vs Cocaine, Cookie vs Rice Cake and Cocaine vs Rice Cake. Guess what? Bet'cha rice cakes would be considered more addictive than cocaine as well, allowing us to draw the conclusion that...mice like food, the more calorie-rich, the better.

*but not very much better

Hyperbole? Perhaps... perhaps not (1)

erroneus (253617) | about 10 months ago | (#45147225)

There are a lot of "addictive" qualities of many of the food products we ingest. Many of them are engineered to delay the "satisfy button" in our systems so that we eat more. (The common response to this problem is people asserting "eat more slowly" and "drink more water") and to that I say... uh, no. In a busy life, one doesn't always have time to pause and "enjoy" food. Eating is sometimes an interruption of whatever it is we are doing... fun, work, whatever. We are not always at leisure to determine how much time we have to eat. And of course my experience in the military didn't help forming bad habits did it? (But here's a mystery -- military food seems a lot more satisfying and healthy than civilian food... could also be the exercise regimen... I dunno. But some foods are easier to get fat on that others. It's not only about carbs and calories it's about the source of them and the way they are prepared... if you eat raw wheat, you will get less "stuff" than from processed wheat right?)

Anyway, back to addictive food qualities. I there are some well documented secrets of food that people should be made aware of. Among these is the fifth flavor sense. So after "sweet" "sour" "bitter" and "salty" there is a "new one" that the Chinese have known about for centuries if not millennia. It's called "savory" but the Chinese have another name for it... we also know it as "MSG."

And there's lots lots more to know about food and eating and how it all works.

Bunch of smug "Rice-Cakers"... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147229)

The whole "rice cake" argument doesn't negate the whole study. They didn't just monitor the behavior of the rats, they measured the chemical release in the brain and compared it to the release of the same chemicals in the brain after ingestion of cocaine.

From TFA ( http://www.conncoll.edu/news/news-archive/2013/student-faculty-research-shows-oreos-are-just-as-addictive-as-drugs-in-lab-rats-.htm )

"They used immunohistochemistry to measure the expression of a protein called c-Fos, a marker of neuronal activation, in the nucleus accumbens, or the brain’s “pleasure center.”

“It basically tells us how many cells were turned on in a specific region of the brain in response to the drugs or Oreos,” said Schroeder.

They found that the Oreos activated significantly more neurons than cocaine or morphine."

Re:Bunch of smug "Rice-Cakers"... (1)

fishybell (516991) | about 10 months ago | (#45147323)

Also from TFA:

On one side of a maze, they would give hungry rats Oreos and on the other, they would give them a control – in this case, rice cakes. (“Just like humans, rats don’t seem to get much pleasure out of eating them,” Schroeder said.) Then, they would give the rats the option of spending time on either side of the maze and measure how long they would spend on the side where they were typically fed Oreos.
...
They compared the results of the Oreo and rice cake test with results from rats that were given an injection of cocaine or morphine, known addictive substances, on one side of the maze and a shot of saline on the other. Professor Schroeder is licensed by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration to purchase and use controlled substances for research.

The research showed the rats conditioned with Oreos spent as much time on the “drug” side of the maze as the rats conditioned with cocaine or morphine.

There's more to addiction than addictivating the "pleasure center" of the brain. That's a lot of it yes, but not all. They've shown that rats like Oreos more than rice cakes as much as they like cocaine or morphine more than saline. Liking drugs and being addicted to drugs are two very different things.

The Process (0)

The Cat (19816) | about 10 months ago | (#45147285)

1. Scientist does science.
2. Scientist opens his mouth about the science he did.
3. All other scientists call him a worthless cunt.
4. Science suppressed. Scientist exiled.
5. Start from one again.

Proving once and for all that science is both politics and religion.

Sounds to me like (1)

overshoot (39700) | about 10 months ago | (#45147329)

the ones with a serious interest in cookies were the students. Anyone care to guess the relative risk of a mouse vs. a human, as seen by an Oreo in the study?

Two meanings of 'addiction' (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147351)

"Addiction" has two meanings.

1) A PHYSICAL addiction where removal of access to the substance has clear PRIMARY effects on the chemistry of the patient.
2) PSYCHOLOGICAL addiction, where the patient craves and needs regular access to the substance in ways that can be measured statistically with a group of such people, but cannot be directly linked to a biochemical process.

One might assume that 2 is the same as 1, if only our scientific understanding were better, but this ignores the fact that Humans have complicated mental processes as well, and that there is no good reason addiction cannot also result from how we think, feel and perceive.

Anyway, the word 'addiction' is misused, especially in the USA. Most people can give up using most soft and hard drugs will no ill effects. Fat Americans are fat because they are addicted to the pleasures of eating certain foods. How many people get fat because they each too much wholegrain bread?

Most Humans like reliable sources of pleasure, and will frequently return to those sources if they are cheap and convenient. Is it an addiction because you do 'it' a lot, or because doing 'it' seems to interfere with other things in life?

If a food item is 'nice', and many people will not get bored eating that item over and over, do you want to label it as 'addictive'.

And do NOT turn to animal experimentation for a 'better' answer. Anyone with a cat will tell you they quickly learn to "live to eat", NOT "eat to live", just like most of their owners.

Science. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 10 months ago | (#45147467)

Are these kids retarded? You would expect better from a 3rd grade science project.

One bright side (1)

sjames (1099) | about 10 months ago | (#45147503)

The only useful information from that experiment is that rodents also like to eat the cream filling first, then the cookie.

Cookie Monster (0)

Ukab the Great (87152) | about 10 months ago | (#45147515)

Now what starts with the letter C?
Cookie starts with C
Let's think of other things
That starts with C
Oh, Cocaine start with C, too.
And other things that start with C?
Oh, who cares about the other things?

C is for cocaine, that's good enough for me.
C is for cocaine, that's good enough for me.
C is for cocaine, that's good enough for me
Oh, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine starts with C.

Me thinks Oreo is delicious cookie.
And Oreo's white addictive stuff
Between two chocolate wafer
Make me think of of cocaine
Oh and big white moon also look like giant Scarface plate of Cocaine
But you can't snort that, so....

C is for cocaine, that's good enough for me, yeah!
C is for cocaine, that's good enough for me
C is for cocaine, that's good enough for me
Oh, cocaine, cocaine, cocaine starts with C, yeah!
Cocaine, cocaine, cocaine starts with C, oh boy!
Cocaine, cocaine, cocaine starts with C!

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