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Nuclear Officers Napped With Blast Door Left Open

Soulskill posted about a year ago | from the what's-the-worst-that-could-happen dept.

The Military 238

Lasrick writes "AP's Robert Burns reports that 'Air Force officers entrusted with the launch keys to long-range nuclear missiles have been caught twice this year leaving open a blast door that is intended to help prevent a terrorist or other intruder from entering their underground command post.' Why is that signifcant? At least one of the officers was napping at the time. Airforce officials said other violations like this have undoubtedly occurred and gone undetected. Yeesh. 'The blast door violations are another sign of trouble in the handling of the nation's nuclear arsenal. The AP has discovered a series of problems within the ICBM force, including a failed safety inspection, the temporary sidelining of launch officers deemed unfit for duty and the abrupt firing last week of the two-star general in charge. The problems, including low morale, underscore the challenges of keeping safe such a deadly force that is constantly on alert but is unlikely ever to be used.'"

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In their defense (4, Funny)

TWiTfan (2887093) | about a year ago | (#45215505)

It gets hot in there, and Johnson is always farting.

Re:In their defense (4, Funny)

Jeremiah Cornelius (137) | about a year ago | (#45215673)

"Close the blast doors! Close the blast doors!"

Boring conversation, anyways...

Re:In their defense (1)

Gordo_1 (256312) | about a year ago | (#45216379)

Luke, we're gonna have company.

In their defense (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215749)

Obama has castrated the military by letting in faggots. I'm surprised they slept without chastity belts on what with the fanny bandits now allowed to publicly flaunt their perverted lifestyle.

Re:In their defense (0, Offtopic)

omnichad (1198475) | about a year ago | (#45216293)

If they're all castrated, I really don't see the problem.

Re:In their defense (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216325)

Fanny bandits will still try to rape you.

Re:In their defense (0)

Jane Q. Public (1010737) | about a year ago | (#45216337)

"It gets hot in there, and Johnson is always farting."

Considering that the federal government has repeatedly proved itself to be inept at "managing" the economy, or healthcare, or pretty much anything else for that matter, I have to wonder whether it should be trusted with nuclear weapons.

Re:In their defense (4, Insightful)

ColdWetDog (752185) | about a year ago | (#45216433)

Your other choices?

Haliburton? Blackwater?

Oracle?

Re:In their defense (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216501)

Anybody. It can't get worse than that crackhead in the White House now. And I thought Bush was bad.

Re:In their defense (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216541)

you can always trust ME. I am reliable, I am always trustworthy, I never sleep. I am ANONYMOUS COWARD!!!!!!!! Here to serve YOU!!!!!! (And randomly launch missiles at your worst enemy, while engaging the cloaking device to make it look like someone else did it)

unlikely ever to be used (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215531)

Oh thank God, here I thought 12 o'clock was just a matter of time.

-AC.Falos

Is anybody surprised? (5, Insightful)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about a year ago | (#45215541)

Hey there troops, listen up! It's your job to sit in this drab, overbuilt concrete coffin, sitting on your lazy asses like the cold war relics you are, until such a time as you are instructed to commit the greatest mass slaughter in human history. Any questions?

Re:Is anybody surprised? (1)

stewsters (1406737) | about a year ago | (#45215643)

Yeah, seems like a shitty job. Maybe we should have an AI in charge of the nukes? Here is a first draft:

if(false){
for(Missile missile : missiles){
missile.launch()
}
}

Re:Is anybody surprised? (1)

i kan reed (749298) | about a year ago | (#45215705)

Then you're relying on just one byte to never be changed by memory corruption forever.

if(false && false && false)
    for(Missile missile: missles)
        missile.launch()

Re:Is anybody surprised? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215847)

A decent compiler would have optimized the whole block away. Nothing to be corrupted

Re:Is anybody surprised? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216063)

That's why you use -O0 specifically on that code in the makefile.

Also, intersperse some null-waits. Outsmart that compiler AND be able to improve performance for the next release. "Now with fewer accidental launches!"

Re:Is anybody surprised? (2)

K. S. Kyosuke (729550) | about a year ago | (#45216359)

Or just use an optimizing compiler that will eliminate the dead code. ;-)

Re: Is anybody surprised? (4, Insightful)

JWW (79176) | about a year ago | (#45215777)

Shall we play a game???

Re:Is anybody surprised? (3, Funny)

TheCarp (96830) | about a year ago | (#45215821)

More like

while true
do
                sleep 300
                if false; then
                                for i in $SILO; do
                                            launch $i
                                done
                # XXX: Add case to check blast doors
                fi
done

Re:Is anybody surprised? (1)

Antipater (2053064) | about a year ago | (#45216465)

for i in $SILO; ; launch $i

"Dangit, I think a cat got into the silo again!"

Re:Is anybody surprised? (2)

bill_mcgonigle (4333) | about a year ago | (#45215927)

Maybe we should have an AI in charge of the nukes?

Back at base, bugs in the software
Flash the message
"Something's out there"
/
Panic bells, it's red alert
There's something here
From somewhere else
The war machine springs to life
Opens up one eager eye
Focusing it on the sky


if(false)

Signed-off-by: me

Re:Is anybody surprised? (1)

bill_mcgonigle (4333) | about a year ago | (#45215865)

until such a time as you are instructed to commit the greatest mass slaughter in human history

To worry, worry, super-scurry
Call the troops out in a hurry
This is what we've waited for
This is it boys, this is war

Any questions?

"So you pay for college?"

Re:Is anybody surprised? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215921)

Not sure why they are sleeping, play games, exercise, troll the Russian imageboards enough to cause WW3.

Re:Is anybody surprised? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216453)

Because an "Alert" is 24 hours long. Meaning, if you are assigned to man the launch site, you get to stay for 24 hours (or more). You might be able to stay up that long, but one of the two officers is allowed to sleep at a time (assuming you have the doors closed).

Re:Is anybody surprised? (1)

0racle (667029) | about a year ago | (#45216061)

Any questions?

Uh ya, since alarms and shit are going to sound when I need to bring an end to humanity, why do I have to stay awake until then?

Re:Is anybody surprised? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216373)

Hey there troops, listen up! It's your job to sit in this drab, overbuilt concrete coffin, sitting on your lazy asses like the cold war relics you are, until such a time as you are instructed to commit the greatest mass slaughter in human history. Any questions?

So... kind of like backup admins.

I can't decide... (1)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year ago | (#45215545)

...if nuclear silo duty is the best job in the Air Force or the worst.

As best as I can tell, you haven't had to do anything since...uh....longer than anyone's been on active duty.

Re:I can't decide... (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215695)

Great for getting grad school done and a divorce initiated. Terrible for family life and getting promoted. Oh yeah, don't get promoted twice in a row and you're fired.

Re:I can't decide... (2)

djdanlib (732853) | about a year ago | (#45216083)

Promotion in that position? What's that look like?

I hereby promote you to the rank of "Corporal Chair-napper over by the nukes"...

Re:I can't decide... (1)

TheCarp (96830) | about a year ago | (#45215729)

Except perhaps, closing the blast doors while napping.

Re:I can't decide... (4, Funny)

nospam007 (722110) | about a year ago | (#45215879)

"Except perhaps, closing the blast doors while napping."

That's what's this all about.

1. If you sleep, the door must be closed.
2. If the door is closed, nobody can catch you sleeping, even if you sleep at times when you shouldn't.
3. Ergo, always close the fucking door.

Re:I can't decide... (1)

TheCarp (96830) | about a year ago | (#45215999)

Please if they were smart they would do one better....

1. spill paper clips on floor several feet from door
2. Sleep on floor with feet touching door.
3. If door opens, yell "sorry one second" and explain that you were on the floor picking up the paper clips.

Apparently this is an old trick. Wouldn't work for me as my office door has a full height window next to it (perhaps for exactly this reason); and of course, I snore like a buzz saw.

Re:I can't decide... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215811)

Except for that one time in the 90s when we almost...

Hang on, there's a knock at the door.

Re:I can't decide... (3, Interesting)

Charliemopps (1157495) | about a year ago | (#45216137)

It's a horrible, awful job. My father was in the airforce and maintained a lot of that equipment. Think of it this way, you are locked underground with 2 other guys. Everyone has a gun and have been psychologically tested to be sure that they could kill YOU immediately if ordered to, or if you hesitate in following an order. Spend 6 months with those guys and try and have meaningful interactions with them... oh right, you might have to shoot them to... so don't get too attached.

It's basically a recipe for the worst reality show ever. My father said the second he'd show up to work on stuff the guys would begin yapping their traps non-stop. Being the first human they'd seen in months that had no designs on shooting them in the head, he was their new best friend.

Lastly, the blast doors aren't the only doors. It's an entire facility. It just takes the blast doors a loooong time to open. So they dont close them unless they absolutely have to. Granted, his experiences were in the 60s and 70s so I'm not sure how much of it still applies. But I bet it's still pretty much the same.

Re:I can't decide... (4, Interesting)

NouberNou (1105915) | about a year ago | (#45216553)

Your dad has some facts wrong there bucko (especially if he is talking about Minuteman, the facts are a bit different for Titan II). They don't sit underground for months at a time. They go on 24, and sometimes up to 72 hour alerts. So the longest they go with out seeing another person is 24 hours, which I am sure most people on Slashdot do on a weekly basis.

It does sound like your dad is talking about Titan II, but even then its not nearly as bad as you make it out to be (still pretty shitty though) and better than MM LCCs (the Titan II facilities were much larger... but also built right next to the silo).

Far worse were SAC B-52 crew alerts. You'd go on on ground alert for days at a time, where you had to eat/sleep/live within running/short drive distance of your bomber and couldn't really leave.

Elaborate honeypot? (1)

schneidafunk (795759) | about a year ago | (#45215563)

Or they could just be setting up a trap. "Come on into remote location, I promise we're just napping".

Re:Elaborate honeypot? (1)

idontgno (624372) | about a year ago | (#45216535)

Worst... Trap.... Evar.

Like Molten Core [wowwiki.com] , without a lewtbomb and the end.

Capt. Ragnaros yells: TOO SOON! YOU HAVE AWAKENED ME TOO SOON, SGT. EXECUTUS! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS INTRUSION?
Sergeant Executus yells: These mortal infidels, my lord! They have invaded your sanctum and seek to steal your secrets!
Capt. Ragnaros yells: FOOL! YOU ALLOWED THESE INSECTS TO RUN RAMPANT THROUGH THE HALLOW COMMAND CENTER? AND NOW YOU LEAD THEM TO MY VERY LAIR? YOU HAVE FAILED ME, EXECUTUS! JUSTICE SHALL BE MET, INDEED! [pulls out pistol and shoots hapless Sergeant]

The worst job on earth (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215565)

You'd think about the obvious reasons for nuclear disarmament, but nobody ever spares a thought for the poor sods who have to sit there watching these doomsday devices: if they ever get used it's the end of the world, if they're ever attacked it will be with overwhelming force, and they are expected to be running their AAA-game 24/7/365, no holidays, no vacations.

(Interesting thought experiment: replace "nuclear weapons officer" with "megabank sysadmin")

Re:The worst job on earth (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216331)

There is also a morale factor involved. Arguably, US morale is the lowest it has been since the US Civil War:

1: Most other countries hate US soldiers.
2: The Air Force veteran bodies found in a landfill.
3: There is no real "victory" in previous engagements.
4: The feeling that the younger people are having to work far more than the older brass, but for much less in benefits.
5: The specter of a RIF at every turn and the work going to a contractor.
6: The fact that treason which use to be something not considered in way, is something that people will turn to for easy money.
7: Underfunding. The AF used to get what it needed. Now the contract companies get the funding and run off with it. Real work doesn't get done.
8: No obvious threat. The 1980s had Russia and the constant horrors of the deeds that Soviet troops did. Now, there are some ghostly "terrorists" who pop up, strike, and are gone, and no real enemy to rally against.
9: The fact that the government has welched on benefits in the past (starting with the 1980s and Gramm-Rudman.)
10: Recruitment tends to be people who can't find work anywhere else.

Morale is extremely low. If this wasn't the case, there wouldn't be any Snowdens or Assanges.

Spys Like Us (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215595)

"A weapon unused, is a useless weapon."

Re:Spys Like Us (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216091)

One could argue that it is being "used" every single day that it provides a successful deterrent of conflict escalation. Then again, NK-esque painted cardboard tubes would probably work just as well in that case.

Re:Spys Like Us (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216513)

Who says that's not what we have here? We just make a good show about them being more than just cardboard?

No, I figure they are real, but hey, why not feed the conspiracy theory nut jobs..

SubjectsInCommentsAreStupid (1)

lesincompetent (2836253) | about a year ago | (#45215601)

You're stirring up my cold war nostalgia :'(

Strange... (3, Insightful)

pla (258480) | about a year ago | (#45215627)

If you planned to take a nap on the job - Why the hell wouldn't you close the door? It at least makes getting caught a bit less likely.

Re:Strange... (4, Informative)

timeOday (582209) | about a year ago | (#45215859)

RTA, they spend a long time (days?) down there and it is permissible for one to sleep while the other stands watch. But in this case they are supposed to lock the vault door:

The written Air Force instructions on ICBM safety, last updated in June 1996, says, "One crewmember at a time may sleep on duty, but both must be awake and capable of detecting an unauthorized act if ... the Launch Control Center blast door is open" or if someone other than the crew is present.

The blast door is not the first line of defense. An intruder intent on taking control of a missile command post would face many layers of security before encountering the blast door, which â" when closed â" is secured by 12 hydraulically operated steel pins. The door is at the base of an elevator shaft. Entry to that elevator is controlled from an above-ground building. ICBM fields are monitored with security cameras and patrolled regularly by armed Air Force guards.

Re:Strange... (1)

geekoid (135745) | about a year ago | (#45215937)

The door is often left open. It gets really hot and stuffy. BTW to get to that blast door you need to go through another bigger blast door. If the Bigger one was left open it either mean they had problems testing the generator, or some screwed up.

Re:Strange... (1)

GungaDan (195739) | about a year ago | (#45215971)

Maybe it was an unplanned nap? I like the spontaneous ones best.

Re:Strange... (3, Funny)

gstoddart (321705) | about a year ago | (#45216107)

Maybe it was an unplanned nap? I like the spontaneous ones best.

LOL ... sounds familiar [epicquotes.org] I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I actually know a couple of narcoleptics who can't drive any more for precisely this reason.

Re:Strange... (1)

neminem (561346) | about a year ago | (#45216255)

Given a comment a few above this one stating that he once had the misfortune to work on one, and they often made him work several days in a row with no sleep... that actually does sound like it's probably the reason, and I can't really blame him for it.

Recent firings of general & admiral (2)

cold fjord (826450) | about a year ago | (#45215641)

Maybe this is a clue as to some of the reasons a couple of high ranking officers have been fired in that command recently. Figures.

Open Door Policy (5, Funny)

hduff (570443) | about a year ago | (#45215671)

No longer in effect.

Nuclear Launch Detected (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215675)

Those poor officers are probably bored out of their minds all day down there, the Air Force should give them something to do... like a game or something. Tic-tac-toe or Warheads for Windows comes to mind...

Re:Nuclear Launch Detected (4, Funny)

mythosaz (572040) | about a year ago | (#45216087)

How about a nice game of chess?

Re:Nuclear Launch Detected (1)

firex726 (1188453) | about a year ago | (#45216151)

"Shall we play a game?"

Re:Nuclear Launch Detected (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216363)

One would assume the Surgeon General of the Air Force would demand regular exercise on the surface, eating in a proper mess, having bearable shifts ?

Obviously the mental health and close-quarter combat skills of these people is imperative.

You know, one could organize jogging runs, Japanese martial arts and so on. On the surface, of course. These people must function properly inside the bunker, so keep them healthy OUTSIDE the bunker.

Re:Nuclear Launch Detected (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216423)

Plus, you could rotate these people into other functions such as logistics, vehicle maintenance, aircraft support and so on.

Why hold them to higher standard? (2)

EMG at MU (1194965) | about a year ago | (#45215681)

I would nap and probably do a bunch of much worse stuff too if I were them. My other buddies from the academy are stationed in tropical paradises picking up the locals when they go on leave, General Sleeps with His Biographer is getting some, and here I am stuck in America's asscrack buried deep in a bunker with another guy who won't shut up and keeps eating my lunch out of the fridge.

Seriously do these guys get hardship pay or anything? Is it a rotational program where they get to go somewhere better after they do their time in the bunker? Or is this really just the worst assignment in the Air Force?

Anecdotally by buddy's father who is in the Air Force Reserve was deployed somewhere in the Arabian Sea doing logistical support for the operations over there. He said it was the best vacation he ever went on. He loaded and unloaded planes, planes that sometimes came frequently and sometimes did not. When he wasn't loading and unloading planes he was playing golf, hitting the beach, or hanging out with his fellow airmen. I would be pretty envious if I were stuck in a bunker in Idaho.

Re:Why hold them to higher standard? (1)

Tukz (664339) | about a year ago | (#45215751)

"Why hold them to a higher standard".
Oh, I don't know, maybe because they are guarding "Weapons of Mass Destruction".

At least close and lock the damn door if you are going to nap.

I highly doubt someone could get that far without someone tripping an alarm and the guard(s) waking up, but still...

Re:Why hold them to higher standard? (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216125)

The term "Weapons of Mass Destruction" has lost most of its bite since they redefined it to make the Boston bombing sound more damaging than an average industrial accident.

Re:Why hold them to higher standard? (1)

CanHasDIY (1672858) | about a year ago | (#45215803)

I would nap and probably do a bunch of much worse stuff too if I were them. My other buddies from the academy are stationed in tropical paradises picking up the locals when they go on leave, General Sleeps with His Biographer is getting some, and here I am stuck in America's asscrack buried deep in a bunker with another guy who won't shut up and keeps eating my lunch out of the fridge.

These guys specifically sign up to be part of the nuclear arsenal team - it's not like they assign these jobs to random privates fresh out of boot.

Kinda like the saying*, 'don't join the Marines if you don't want to kill anyone,' you shouldn't join the nuclear arsenal team if you don't want to spend the majority of your time sitting on your ass guarding missiles from nobody.

* Yes, I just now made that up.

Re:Why hold them to higher standard? (4, Interesting)

geekoid (135745) | about a year ago | (#45215913)

Yes, it's a sucky job. Often it gets assign to former pilot, and no one wants to do it.
F.E.* Warren Air Force base is horrid, it's in a horrid place, and threes things happen when someone goes there:
1) The retire
2) The put 100% of their effort to getting a new station
3) They just give up to get discharged.

I was their for 18 months. During that time promotions were frozen(Thanks Reagan!) We were at 30% staffing. Meaning I spent many weeks work 72 to 100 houre, straight. as in No sleep, or at best an hour a night Plus I was told no one in my classification would every get transferred out because that don't see staffing getting put back up to 100%
Plus, for some reason, they thought I was talking drugs, os about every month I had to go pee in a cup. I have no idea why they would think that

  The security teams the send out to the site our horrible people who will rob you blind.

*Fuck Everybody Warren.

Re:Why hold them to higher standard? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216261)

Either your keyboard or your speech-controlling Central Nervous System is a little strange. That probably made them suspicious. Apparently you did nothing wrong, so that's all fine.

Re:Why hold them to higher standard? (1)

Anonymous Psychopath (18031) | about a year ago | (#45216557)

The folks I used to work with in the DoD would always refer to the USAF as the 9-to-5 branch of the military.

Homer Simpson (1)

Cyfun (667564) | about a year ago | (#45215689)

I had no idea Homer had taken up a military job. Must've missed that episode.

Re:Homer Simpson (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215977)

Doesn't help that Mr. Burns is the man reporting on it.

Re:Homer Simpson (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216101)

Just resting my eyes!

Always vigilent. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215707)

Well they could always turn the job over to Skynet.

You iNsensitive 3lod. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215727)

Lube is wiped off FrreBSD had lo8g parts of you are

Reminds of the scene from 'Spies Like Us' (1)

JoeyRox (2711699) | about a year ago | (#45215779)

Where the Russians were napping next to a mobile ICBM launch vehicle. Hopefully the US Nuclear Officers will get to bang a hot adversary like in the movie.

Re:Reminds of the scene from 'Spies Like Us' (1)

chuckugly (2030942) | about a year ago | (#45216027)

Maybe that was their plan all along? Desperate times, desperate measures and so on.

Re:Reminds of the scene from 'Spies Like Us' (1)

GodfatherofSoul (174979) | about a year ago | (#45216121)

In one of the greatest achievements of a guy above his pay grade, Dan Ackroyd ended up married to Donna Dixon, the hot blonde Soviet soldier. I just happen to be in the middle of Doctor Detroit which I just read is where they met.

Above pay grade (1)

AF_Cheddar_Head (1186601) | about a year ago | (#45216199)

Billy Joel -- Cristy Brinkley now that was marrying above his pay grade. Gives hope to us all

Re:Above pay grade (3, Funny)

ColdWetDog (752185) | about a year ago | (#45216503)

On Slashdot 'marrying above your pay grade' usually means getting the tricked out version of a Real Doll [realdoll.com] .

Summary does not enhance my calm (1)

jareth-0205 (525594) | about a year ago | (#45215789)

Can we not use the phrase "abrupt firing" when talking about nuclear missiles please?

Re:Summary does not enhance my calm (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216165)

No. You don't "fire" missiles, you launch them. You don't "fire" bombs, you consent to their release. You don't "fire" rifles, you discharge them.

I actually used to work in one. (4, Interesting)

geekoid (135745) | about a year ago | (#45215801)

A) There are two blast doors.
B) They are [REDACTED] meters below ground.
C) There is an elevator
D) They are their for more than a day, so they sleep.

This isn't really much of a deal. There is nothing that can happen that they can nap through.
Their Job is extremely boring, and their isn't a regular thing to watch. Like gauge, or pressure valves.

Re:I actually used to work in one. (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215909)

Isn't there busywork to keep them occupied? I don't see how anyone could sit and do nothing for eight hours a day. Maddening.

Re:I actually used to work in one. (1)

PhxBlue (562201) | about a year ago | (#45216449)

Eight? How about 24?

Re:I actually used to work in one. (1)

bluefoxlucid (723572) | about a year ago | (#45216089)

You can't pocket a giant metal bomb casing containing 4,255 pounds of C4 explosives, a nuclear core, 37 safety mechanisms, guidance systems, sensors, and whatnot anyway. What happens if somebody does walk past the guards into the nuclear arsenal?

Re:I actually used to work in one. (1)

Dzimas (547818) | about a year ago | (#45216147)

I really want to know what you're doing with 4,255 lbs of Composition 4 in a nuclear facility.

Re:I actually used to work in one. (1)

ArsonSmith (13997) | about a year ago | (#45216367)

conventional explosives are used to start the nuclear reaction.

Re:I actually used to work in one. (1)

gstoddart (321705) | about a year ago | (#45216235)

What happens if somebody does walk past the guards into the nuclear arsenal?

Well, if you've gotten that far, you might be able to make off with it.

And if you can't, if you can detonate in place ... you still create a hell of a mess.

The point is, if the guards are sleeping and the door is open, all of your security up to that point is useless. If security falls apart at the weakest link, it sounds like they identified some.

Re:I actually used to work in one. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216519)

The point is, if the guards are sleeping and the door is open, all of your security up to that point is useless. If security falls apart at the weakest link, it sounds like they identified some.

These security measures are in parallel, not series. So one sleeping guard in the bunker doesn't make the guard outside useless, because EITHER of them could identify an intruder.

Re:I actually used to work in one. (1)

Nimey (114278) | about a year ago | (#45216247)

15-30 meters down, isn't it? I toured the (decommissioned) Minuteman command silo at Whiteman AFB in the mid '90s and I seem to remember it being pretty far down.

I'm sure you're right about it being boring as fuck, yet stressful.

Re:I actually used to work in one. (1)

intermodal (534361) | about a year ago | (#45216343)

And one of the more important aspects to remember: This is far from the first line of defence.

I'm with the "it's boring" comments, however, (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45215827)

in some countries people are executed for sleeping on guard duty. These are life and death situations not just for them but for ALL of us.

those were the droids I was looking for. (0)

DeTech (2589785) | about a year ago | (#45215839)

The Empire just can't find good help anymore.

Not a problem (4, Funny)

Dega704 (1454673) | about a year ago | (#45215991)

It's ok, though, because between the NSA spying on literally everybody, the TSA feeling us up at the airports, and the government spending millions pursuing "terrorists" such as Edward Snowden and Julian Assange, there is no way somebody is going to be able to walk through an unsecured, open door and wreak havoc; because the sheer irony itself would tear a hole in space and time.

This is one of the most important missions . . . (1)

MarkvW (1037596) | about a year ago | (#45216023)

This is one of the most important missions that the Air Force ever will have. I'm sure they put their best officers on it.

That's DEEP SARCASM.

This is a command problem.

Parallels to the Night's Watch (2)

aerivus (1658465) | about a year ago | (#45216111)

Ever since we built enough nuclear ICBMs to threaten mutually assured destruction, the most important military personnel have been those who diligently guard their country's nuclear weapons arsenal . As long as we possess nuclear weapons, their job performance (or lack thereof) may one day save or destroy millions or billions of lives. Like the Night's Watch in GoT, being a nuclear officer is not a glamorous job, but this work is infinitely more important to the safety of regular citizens than any other section of the armed forces or law enforcement (obviously TSA would be near the opposite end of the spectrum of usefulness). Its time we reassess our definition of heroism around the people that really make the difference in our continued survival.

Does it matter? (2)

warrax_666 (144623) | about a year ago | (#45216113)

... if all the lauch codes are zero anyway? [theguardian.com]

(Well, alright that was some time ago, but really... this points to systemic issues, and I don't think they'll have been fixed within a few years.)

Fucking hypocrites (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216139)

This from the government that doesn't even trust its own citizens. Fix your shit before you start scrutinizing everyone else.

another better option (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216173)

maybye than spying all over what's not redneck-wasp-creationist-moron tea party doodles, the big and pride USA would have a closer look at its very own dirty laundry ?
And this country pretends to lead the entire world ? I miss USSR ...

Re:another better option (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216473)

You probably would not want to know the real activities of Russian ICBM launch teams. I assume they drive their launcher to the next brothel and then visit the ladies with the vehicle parked somewhere unguarded. After all, criminals have no use for a 100 ton truck, don't cha think, Sergey ?

So... (2)

Richy_T (111409) | about a year ago | (#45216185)

How come we're not all dead? I thought (was told) there was a terrorist hiding around every corner.

funny (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216275)

but what else could one's expect from a country of self satisfied paranoid dummies spying all over their neighbours ?
pilgrim fathers are for sure rising in their graves !!!

Blast Doors (1)

Suit_N_Tie (128024) | about a year ago | (#45216321)

Air Force Trooper No. 1: "Close the Blast Doors! Close the Blast Doors!"
Beat
Air Force Trooper No. 1: "Open the Blast Doors! Open the Blast Doors!"

Submarines are better! (2)

Bodhammer (559311) | about a year ago | (#45216339)

This is why the Navy is better than the Air Force. This could never happen on a Trident!

Geebus. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216463)

I hope zombie Curtis LeMay rises from his grave and strangles these losers. If I were him, though, I wouldn't count on getting any brains for his trouble.

--Signed, USSTRATCOM Veteran, son of SAC Veteran.

Re:Geebus. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45216539)

Hold you breath, old fart. Your nice general really needed a psychiatric examination ("let's nuke them before they have enough nukes to nuke us") and had all nuke locks set to "000000000", "so that we can launch at the fastest pace".

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