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Iceman Murdered by Arrow in the Back

michael posted more than 13 years ago | from the shot-through-the-heart,-and-you're-to-blame dept.

Science 232

PenguinRadio writes: "The Washington Post has taken a break from the Chandra Levy case to report on a recently discovered murder of a 5,300 year old iceman. The iceman was discovered about ten years ago in the snow covered Alps near Italy, but it was unknown until today how he died. Scientists used a CT scan to discover an arrowhead embedded in his back. Being stabbed in the back is not a recent dot.com kind of thing." Somehow it's inspiring to see just how long we've been killing each other. This story is great in so many ways.

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232 comments

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"This story is great in so many ways...." (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2190141)

You're a sick fuck, Mike.

Re:Good thing he was Alpine (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2190142)

Ahhh, yes... The discovery of how this 5,300 year old corpse died is so very important.

Perhaps I can buy you a clue. The point is, under the NAGPRA the remains would have to be handed over and reburied before any serious examination could be done. It is important to understand what people were eating at that time, what they were wearing, what technologies they had, what diseases they suffered. It's a whole lot easier to know where you are when you know how you got here.

And, actually, it is important to discover how any person died, especially if it wasn't from natural causes. If it was from a disease, that would be important. If it was from violence, well that's pretty interesting too, don't you think? People claim violence today is caused by poverty, or overcrowding, or video games. But perhaps there are reasons that predate wealth, or population, or technology. No, we're not going to learn the answer to that question from this one corpse. But we're sure not going to answer it by reburying it without any study.

Iceman's conversation (5)

abischof (255) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190145)

Iceman's conversation with his hunting buddies:

Iceman: You two really are cowboys.

Hunting buddy: What's your problem, Kazanski?

Iceman: You're everyone's problem. That's because everytime you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.

Hunting buddy: That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous.

[Thunk! Arrow in the back.]

Alex Bischoff

No, the one we really need is... (1)

Riktov (632) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190148)

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer! [jt.org]

"Your modern world confuses and frightens me!..."

Re:The real question is... (1)

Eccles (932) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190150)

did they find the killer?

No, but OJ is looking for him...

TV (2)

Glytch (4881) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190151)

Hah. Let's see Columbo solve this.

Re:Pick your battles (2)

unitron (5733) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190152)

If you think that CNN has gone off the deep end, check out the "We must be fair and balanced, 'cause we say so every other minute" Fox News Channel on cable TV.

They've even brought in psychics!

Good thing he was Alpine (4)

jimhill (7277) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190154)

Sadly, this kind of archaeology and anthropology in the United States is effectively dead -- whatever Native First Indigenous People American Indian tribe lived closest to the site of the discovery would lay claim to his remains and a wonderful find would be lost to science thanks to the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act . Fire up your Google buttons and look for the sad tale of Kennewick Man...

The advantage of technology... (1)

kcbrown (7426) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190155)

Somehow it's inspiring to see just how long we've been killing each other. This story is great in so many ways.

Yeah, but it's so much more satisfying these days, when you can have the gore setting cranked all the way up and see your enemies exploding into blood vapor when you hit then with the BFG, and all from the comfort of your own home! None of that actually having to work at it like the old days. :-)


--

Re:I know who murdered him! (2)

kzinti (9651) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190158)

Oh, sure, Blame It On Cain [sing365.com] .

Possibly a lover's spat? (2)

banky (9941) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190159)

Here [straightdope.com] is a discussion of Otzi.

Apparently there was a hoax based around the idea that arrows weren't the only thing coming from behind him.

(read the story, you'll get the joke)

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_229.html

First murder... (1)

PRickard (16563) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190169)

If you believe in the Christian or Jewish Bible and take it as truth, the first muder was well documented. A domestic crime, brother against brother, committed with a club. (see Genesis 4) The iceman is just one in a long line of people who were killed prematurely by other people, not the first and certainly not the last. And yes, it could have been an accident - people wearing animal skins tend to look like animals. This was before orange hunting vests y'know...

More bad Iceman-murder jokes.. (1)

Bowie J. Poag (16898) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190170)



In other news, Italian officials have assigned Otzi's murder investigation to their cold-case file.
(Sorry, couldnt resist. Heheh)



Bowie J. Poag
Project Manager, System 26 GUI Component Stockpile [system26.com]

The Iceman's Last Words (2)

Bowie J. Poag (16898) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190172)



I wonder what the Iceman's last words were...

Probably "Owwww!" ....



Bowie J. Poag
Project Manager, System 26 GUI Component Stockpile [system26.com]

Probably running from stoneage cops (2)

vik (17857) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190173)

I reckon he was running from the stoneage cops, and ran into a dark ravine...

Vik :v)

Possible break! (3)

Levine (22596) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190180)

I think the question on everybody's mind is if Chandra Levy was kidnapped and murdered via stone arrowhead to the back, will this frozen iceman provide any forensic clues as to identify the assailant?

Hopefully the Washington Post and other major news outlets will be quick to draw conclusions.

Cheers,
levine

Iceman museum (2)

jaa (22623) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190181)

online here [archaeologiemuseum.it]

Oetzi (2)

harmonica (29841) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190186)

If I remember correctly, Ötzi - who is very popular in the media here since he was discovered - was some kind of salesman who was crossing the alps to sell (or trade, whatever) flintstones.

Maybe there was a flintstone mafia back in those days that didn't like what he did, so they sent a hitman...

Murdered?! (2)

Unknown Poltroon (31628) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190188)

Dude, I was nowhere near there at the time, I got witnesses.

Copyright (1)

macdaddy (38372) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190191)

I guess he must have violated some copyright law. I wonder what the caveman version of the DMCA was...

--

We need Perry Mason! (5)

devphil (51341) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190196)

The angle of the wound suggests Otzi's assailant fired from below. The arrowhead, less than an inch long, ripped through his back, tore through the nerves of his left arm and sliced the veins, lodging itself between the shoulder blade and rib cage. He likely survived the initial assault, because the arrow did not strike any vital organs. But he probably lost feeling in his left arm from nerve damage, and he would have suffered massive hemorrhaging. The arrowhead stopped just short of his lungs.

Wow. They couldn't get anywhere near that detailed in the OJ Simpson case, but they can list point-for-point the assault on a dude frozen for 53 centuries. :-)

And ten years from now, new evidence will come to light. And some Italian-Austrian-Alps-area con man will claim to be Otzi's descendant, and sue for mistrial.

Copper Axe really a weapon? (2)

The Original Bobski (52567) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190197)

You know, If he was really a warrior, that copper axe of his would make much more sense as a weapon than for something to chop wood as many currently think.


---

murder or accident? (3)

nano-second (54714) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190199)

Just because he has an arrow in his back doesn't mean it was a murder. Maybe he was hit accidentally.
---

Re:Another Support (1)

operagost (62405) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190204)

Yeah you people are such champions of free speech, free software, and free lunch until someone makes a wry comment on the political debate over firearms. Pretty soon you'll all be futilely defending your Linux boxes from the government DMCA enforcement stormtroopers with sharp #2 pencils.

Much of the world is free now... how do you think it got that way?

Re:First murder... (1)

operagost (62405) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190205)

It would explain why he was left with all his gear intact... the assailant probably realized his horrible mistake and fled the scene, perhaps after concealing the evidence.

Re:What Men do for a pretty face! (1)

operagost (62405) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190206)

I have doubts as to whether semen can be identified as such after so much time, even when froze, so I did a little research. Sounds like it was just wild speculation. Here [springharborpress.com]

Columbo (1)

paranoid.android (71379) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190210)

"I've got just one more question for ya, Grog. If you say you were just shooting in self defense, why was the victim shot in the back?"

What Men do for a pretty face! (1)

yittrix (87103) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190216)


He was probably murdered because he looked at the killer's girlfriend.. :)

Whoops! (2)

sg3000 (87992) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190217)

I'm sure he was accidentally shot, and then just left there to freeze for us to find him thousands of years later. "Whoops! Well, I'll get vindicated by somebody when the computer is invented," Og the killer caveman surely said.

If he were accidentally shot, don't you think the person who shot him would have carried him back to wherever? They did do burials back then. Even elephants bury their dead.

No, the only time you kill someone and leave 'em in a snowbank is because you're pretty sure the statute of limitations is longer than 5,000 years.

In further news... (4)

jackal! (88105) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190218)

...the cause of the death of the Human Torch is yet unknown.

Re:murder or accident? (1)

MikeyNg (88437) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190219)

Just because he has an arrow in his back doesn't mean it was a murder. Maybe he was hit accidentally.

What do you mean? "It just went off!" or something like that? This is a bow and arrow we're talking about, not a gun.

Actually, I think he was probably caught in the hut of some other hunter's wife, and as he was running away, he got pelted in the back. Who would have thought that a cowardly adulterous lech would garner so much attention 10,000 years later? Hey! Gives me hope for making myself famous...

CT Scan (2)

tgdwyer (88682) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190220)

Maybe I'm missing something here but how is it that in the course of 10 years since the body was discovered there were dozens of wild theories about the cause of death and nobody noticed he had a critical wound in his back? They could see the pores in his skin but not a hole from an arrow? AND they did a biopsy of his stomach contents before they took an X-Ray? Or was it only possible to see the flint arrow head in a CT Scan? There's even something that looks like an arrow shaft sticking out of his shoulder in the photo! (Though I suppose that could be something the scientists put there)

Suicide? (5)

MissNachos (89129) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190222)

I say he fell on it and killed himself, since in those days no one played FPS video games.

Microsoft Did it (1)

quakeaddict (94195) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190225)

...they must have...somehow.

His Murder's Name Was Ah-nold...... (2)

cybrpnk (94636) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190227)

Let's see... he's 5300 years old, say a generation is 20 years, so 5 generations per hundred years, 5*53 = 265 generations of offspring lost by his death, say at 1.1 kids average per generation, his death prevented the birth of 1.1^265 = over 93 BILLION people!!! - enough to toally swamp the planet. So obviously he was killed by a terminator robot from the future to insure his offspring wouldn't lead to the destruction of the intelligent computers we will build in the next 50 years. This theory is further supported by the fact that he was found at/near/in Austria. Everybody knows those futuristic terminator robots speak with an Austrian accent. And another thing...a coverup is underway!!! The arrowhead was pure titanium!!! They're trying to cover that up by showing some flint fake on the news!!!!

More cool stuff about Otzi... (2)

pongo000 (97357) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190228)

...can be found here [about.com] . There was also an article in a recent Discover issue about his last meal, June or July, but it doesn't seem to be on the magazine's website.

Cease and desist! (2)

OmegaDan (101255) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190232)

Hello, I represent Og, the man wrongfully acused of "murdering" john doe #1 - the iceman. I would like to remind you that my client has not been convicted of any crime as of yet -- and that times were very difficult in Ogs day, and if he did commit this crime, it was most ceartinly a survival necessity.

Archibald Feller and Associates

Re:murder or accident? (2)

RainbowSix (105550) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190234)

I think it was the Gulf war, where we killed more of our own Soldiers than the enemy did. It could have been hunting season or something and he just got too far ahead.. got hit by an arrow intended for an animal.
--------

Re:Question on Italian law... (1)

cybermage (112274) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190235)

I sort of feel sorry for the officer assigned to this case.

It was obviously a conspiracy involving everyone who was alive at the time. The only solution is to sentence them all to death. Oh, wait...

Re:We need Perry Mason! (1)

cybermage (112274) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190236)

They couldn't get anywhere near that detailed in the OJ Simpson case

Left to the same investigators as the Simpson case, this would almost assuredly be ruled a suicide.

It Just Went Off (5)

cybermage (112274) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190237)

Nothing like a pre-historic hunting accident:

Officer: Why did you shoot your friend in the back with that arrow?

Og: He was wearing his deer skin. Before I realized it was him, the bow just went off.

Officer: Well, we could haul him down the mountain, but let's just leave him there. That way when he's found people can speculate wildly about what happened.

Who Done It? (1)

meckardt (113120) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190238)

In related news, FBI investigators said that they would be questioning scientists in a search for suspects, and motives for the murder.

Re:murder or accident? (1)

(void*) (113680) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190239)

Caveman 1: Hey Bernie! Lookit wat I juz shot!

Caveman 2: Oww! It's me, you fool! It's me!

His first words after we thaw him from the ice (2)

(void*) (113680) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190240)

Ouch!!!

Re:Hunting accident? (2)

biohazard99 (114288) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190241)

bowhunters (at least in my state) do not wear hunter orange, only rifle/pistol/shotgun hunters are required to wear hunter orange during deer/small game season. During Turkey season, everyone gets to wear camo and you are stationary, so you really do look like a bush. They suggest you tie a orange ribbon to the tree above your position though.

Re:It Just Went Off (4)

mdw2 (122737) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190246)

Arrows don't kill people, people kill people.

Want some indy electronic (and other) music?

Re:The submission left this out: (4)

SuiteSisterMary (123932) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190248)

Scientists also point to a series of cave paintings depicting violent acts as probably having desensitized the killer, allowing him to take another life. "As you can see, even primitive man faced the problem of violence in the media, and this poor chap paid the price."

The submission left this out: (2)

MotorMachineMercenar (124135) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190249)

"Although the cause of death has been established, the scientists are still arguing where the arrow was fired. Some say it was shot from a nearby cave full of primitive cave writing, some opponents claim it was fired from a closer grassy knoll. Some even go as far as saying there was more than one shooter, since the 'magic arrow' - as the scientists started to call it - traveled through Otzi in a manner which would be 'physically impossible and ballistically preposterous' for a single arrow, as expressed by one scientist, who prefers to remain anonymous"

Question on Italian law... (4)

tbarrie (125473) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190251)

There's no statue of limitation on murder, is there?

I sort of feel sorry for the officer assigned to this case.

Conditt denies any affairs ... (1)

porky_pig_jr (129948) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190252)

In other news: Conditt denies he had any affairs with the ancient iceman, willing to take another lie detector test.

Hunting accident? (2)

No Such Agency (136681) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190253)

As I recall, he wasn't wearing his bright orange jacket, just some brown fabrics and leather. He was probably mistaken for a deer or sheep by another hunter, and shot accidentally. This is yet another example of what happens when people don't prepare properly before going hunting. Bows don't kill people, people kill people.

Re:The submission left this out: (1)

gordon_schumway (154192) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190263)

Was Judas Priest around then?

OOG SPEECHLESS!!! (5)

OOG_THE_CAVEMAN (165540) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190268)

[slashdot.org] OOG ALWAYS WONDER WHAT HAPPEN TO COUSIN THARG SINCE HE DISAPPEAR IN MOUNTAIN!!! OOG THINK THARG FREEZE TO DEATH OR EATEN BY MAMOUTH BUT NOW ANGRY TO LEARN THARG MURDERED!!!

[slashdot.org] OOG THINK CAVEMAN GROK BEHIND MURDER (SINCE OJ SIMPSON NOT ALIVE AT THAT TIME AND USE KNIFE INSTEAD OF ARROW), BUT OOG PROBABLY HAVE TO HIRE UNFROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER CIRROC TO BE ABLE TO BRING REAL KILLER TO JUSTICE!!! OOG AVENGE DEAD COUSIN THARG!!!

He was a DSCA violator! (1)

codepunk (167897) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190269)

Digital Stone-age Copyright Act

Great?! (2)

FortKnox (169099) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190270)

Somehow it's inspiring to see just how long we've been killing each other. This story is great in so many ways.

How is murder in any sense of the term great in so many ways?
Look, man was civilized enough to kill one another!
I think its sad in so many ways that we can't stop killing one another...

--
Fnord is that feeling you get when you reach for a Snickers and come back with a Slurpee.

Another Support (1)

danheskett (178529) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190274)

Ahh, if only the noble caveman had have been more progessive, he might not have died, I mean, he should have supported the Anti-Handbow Violence Acts of 3500 BC - who know, if he had of supported it, he might be alive today.

Friends, this just futher proves the point that man kind cannot be trusted in the hands of a terrible, destructive force such as a bow and arrow. We need registration, education, and someday confiscation of these terrible weapons of deaths. How many more will have to die before the bows go?

Re:murder or accident? (1)

JASP2 (181290) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190276)

The article is misleading. They make it sound like this is shocking news that he may have been killed in a conflict. If you read Konrad Spindler's book "The man in the Ice" you will see that some researcher's came to that very same conclusion back in 1993. It's an excellent book by the way.. I highly recomended to anyone interested in Forensic Anthropology -jasp2

Old News! Read the book! (1)

JASP2 (181290) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190277)

in 1993 Konrad Spindler came to the conclusion that this guy was wounded in battle and was trying to escape over the mountains when he died of his injuries. One theing the article fails to mention was that the 14 arrows were in the process of being made and his bow was in the process of being repaired. Now either he was a really bad shot (not likely if he surrvived to adulthood at that time) or he had been in a fight that required expending more arrows than a typical hunting trip. Anyway, the book is "The Man in the Ice".. highly recomended!

The real question is... (1)

WildBeast (189336) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190282)

did they find the killer?

Re:Great?! (1)

WildBeast (189336) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190283)

If we had enough killers, we wouldn't be 7 billion on the planet.
I guess you're not familiar with the term overpopulation?

Last rites (1)

WildBeast (189336) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190284)

A small and barely visible message was found on the arrowhead: Once you get to hell, tell'em I sent ya, you'll get a group discount.
The look on the scientists face? Priceless.

Re:actual cause of death? (1)

dohnut (189348) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190285)


Heh, reminds me of that FarSide comic where paleontologists find, encased in ice,
a prehistoric man with a surprised look on his face sitting in his prehistoric out-house.

The caption was something like, "Proof that the Ice Age caught prehistoric man completely off guard."

Re:murder or accident? (1)

Some Dumbass... (192298) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190286)

Aw, c'mon, the hunting accident theory isn't so ridiculous.

As a side note, would all the pre-historic weaponry experts on SlashDot please stand up? Any Anthropologists here? No? Yeah, that's what I thought. We're all giving uninformed opinions pal - you, me and everyone else.

Figures (1)

atheos (192468) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190287)

Ya, some things never change. Mankind has always stabbed the next guy in the back.

Some things never change. (1)

atheos (192468) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190288)

Mankind. always stabbing the next guy in the back.

Re:murder or accident? (4)

ZanshinWedge (193324) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190289)

riiiiight, it's really easy to accidentally hit someone with an arrow.

"It just went off when I was cleaning it (and after I had strung, drawn, aimed, and loosed it)."

Sheesh, who would have thought uninformed opinions would run rampant on slashdot?! Errrr, uh, nevermind then.

Re:murder or accident? (2)

The_Steel_General (196801) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190293)

"From an article concerning the Iceman's last meal on the Nova site"

In case anyone wanted to ask how Iceman ate his last meal on the Nova site...

Don't bother, I just beat you to it.

TSG

Re:murder or accident? (5)

The_Steel_General (196801) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190294)

From an article concerning the Iceman's last meal on the Nova site (sorry, lost the URL):

"Oeggl [the guy who analyzed the last meal based on a tiny scrap of food from the Iceman's colon] readily acknowledges that scientists may never know what prompted the Iceman to leave the relatively hospitable valley with no water or food to speak of (a single sloe berry was found with his remains) and try to cross the mountain at a time of year when several feet of snow easily could have obscured the topography of the steep and rocky Alpine ridge."

So we've got a guy leaving a fairly warm valley in some haste but well prepared (had eaten, brought no food, but had an ax, a bow, and 14 arrows), getting assaulted about 8 hours later, shot from behind and below (someone chasing him?), and left there with all his stuff.

My vote is for jealous husband, frankly -- a battle would have left more corpses behind, a robber would have taken his stuff, and the Iceman was leaving someplace safe and warm very quickly -- and very well-armed.

TSG

Re:We need Perry Mason! (1)

weaselgrrl (204976) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190298)

Wow. They couldn't get anywhere near that detailed in the OJ Simpson case, but they can list point-for-point the assault on a dude frozen for 53 centuries. :-)

...and that's the difference between a case that is socio-politically a hot button topic vs. a case where any emotions of the public involved has been long long long dead...

Visit the mummy online (2)

weaselgrrl (204976) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190299)

The South Tyrol Museum of Archaelogy has a very nice web site about Oetzi, his clothing and his gear. Visit at: http://www.archaeologiemuseum.it/f06_ice_uk.html [archaeologiemuseum.it]

What I found interesting was that he seemed to be in the process of making arrows and a bow. He had 12 unfinished arrow shafts and 2 arrows ready to be shot. Also, he carried a bow that was still being worked and not yet strung.

That he was off on a hunting trip was the original hypothesis. But between the murder and the fact that he was still making his weaponry, I would suspect some other (social?) situation brought him into the mountains, and to his untimely demise.

doh! (1)

hemna (205532) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190300)

Must have been GREAT (x 10^10) Grandpapy Gates!

Re:[OT] Other missing persons sought w same effort (1)

ROBOKATZ (211768) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190301)

JFK Jr as a person certainly did not merit anyone giving two shits about. But with his father being such an important former President, the country owed it to the family to contribute.

Now, the only reason for the big missing persons investigation, is that the media hopes that insignificant congressman did it, so they're hounding the hell out of the PD and creating a public relations nightmare for them, waiting and praying for them to arrest Mr. insignificant congressman. If they found her body in an alley and tracked down some bum that mugged her and shot her, or "worse" yet, she simply fled to a commune and changed her name or something, we probably wouldn't even hear about it because the media would drop it completely as soon as they found out Mr. insignificant congressman had nothing to do with it (which he probably doesn't).

It just goes to show how long ... (1)

ignavus (213578) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190302)

... the Mob have been in business.

Re:OOG SPEECHLESS!!! (1)

Imperial Tacohead (216035) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190303)

That was uplifting, Oog. We're all here for you in your moment of loss.

Re:Cease and desist! (2)

Imperial Tacohead (216035) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190304)

I, for one, would like to see what OOG THE CAVEMAN has to say about this. He's almost undoubtedly the only person from that era still alive, and might provide valuable information to the investigation into the iceman's death.

Re:murder or accident? - it's a morality tale... (2)

hillct (230132) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190311)

It may have been an accident but it's a much more interesting and assuring - it's good to see we aren't any worse people now than we were then - if it were murder. The belief that it was murder creates the potential for a sociological analysis (rabid theorization) but this will give one grad student a topic for his thesis, which <grin> I suppose is an inportant goal in and of itself </grin>

This practice is vary common, especially in the field of history. I'm going to stop short of aleging revisionist history, and simply say that it is common to evaluate the same event from entirely different perspectives and reach entirely different conclusions - sometimes simply for the purpose of being able to publish additional research papers - after all, there is a limited amount of history to interpret.

--CTH

The joke that wouldn't die, resurrected (4)

DeadMeat (TM) (233768) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190313)

I can already almost hear the imminent rehash of an old Amish joke...

Q: What goes, *stomp* *stomp* *stomp* *stomp* *sproi-oing* *stomp* *stomp* *stomp* *stomp*?
A: A prehistoric drive-by shooting.

(Yes, I know bows don't really go "sproi-oing", but it's a funnier sound effect than "fpppppt".)

Re:Probably running from stoneage cops (1)

MarkLR (236125) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190315)

If this was an American ice man maybe he was reaching for his wallet.

I wish (1)

TroyFoley (238708) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190318)

They make it sound like A) He was screwing around in another tribes territory or B) He was in a full battle with another tribe. While carrying an ax and a bow with a number of arrows makes me think of a prehistoric Braveheart, being shot by an arrow from below and behind seems more like he was going after mountain goats and some guy let one loose discreetly.

Statute of limitations? (1)

erroneus (253617) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190323)

I dunno man... What the statute of limitations on a thing like this? Do you think they are still after the killer? Well, I've got a pretty good alliby anyway. I was with my girlfriend at the time... just ask her. Besides, this really smells like Microsoft may have something to do with it... what was Bill doing around 5,300 years ago?

WANTED (2)

jsse (254124) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190324)

We have a picture of the suspect [myrine.at] . Please report to local police if you've seen him.

Caution: the suspect is armed.

Murder and the DoJ (1)

Topgun1 (261377) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190326)

In the Washington Post tomorrow: The DoJ has set the sentencing hearing for next week in the "Iceman" murder case. In other news, MS lawyers have started legal proceedings to have themselves cyrogenically frozen until a date can be set (tenatively in 5030) to resolve the anti0trust issues. -Random

hmm.. (1)

Scoria (264473) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190327)

Somehow it's inspiring to see just how long we've been killing each other.

Michael... Michael... Mwha.. hahaha...

Re:Another Support (1)

astr0boy (265689) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190328)

i'm sorry, but that was lame. thank you

-----

10 years to see the arrow in his back? (2)

glrotate (300695) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190329)

What's up with that?

I know who murdered him! (4)

Ayende Rahien (309542) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190331)

It was Cain!
Cain did it!

--
Two witches watched two watches.

His identity is unknown but... (1)

gmanske (312125) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190333)

He was well liked and referred to as one source who didn't want to be named as "a colourful racing identity."

Story to follow...

fffft.... "Message for you, sir." (2)

saarbruck (314638) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190335)

What it really proves is that Monty Python's material ain't as original as we'd believed. oh well...

so they focus on the arrow, it musta fired itself. (1)

cball2k (319068) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190338)

that arrow didnt build itself ,the bow didn't either, yet the focus wasn't on WHO shot him, rather they focused on what he was shot with, sounds sadly like the polititions deciding by what guns ppl got shot with, as to what guns to ban, (polititions need our pity, not our support, fire yours the next time you vote)

Re:We need Perry Mason! (5)

Waffle Iron (339739) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190344)

they can list point-for-point the assault on a dude frozen for 53 centuries.

The investigation was a total BS whitewash job. They covered up all of the evidence relating to the second archer behind the grassy knoll.

The power of ice. (1)

bsquizzato (413710) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190350)

"They said the body was in such good condition that pores in the skin looked normal, and even the eyeballs were preserved behind lids frozen open. A sample taken from his intestine last year led scientists to conclude that his last meal included meat -- likely an alpine goat, whose bones were found nearby -- wheat, plants and plums."

It's just amazing how preserved this man was from the freezing temperatures of the Alps. That iceman looked better than some of those egyptian mummies you see on the Discovery Channel. ;)

Re:What Men do for a pretty face! (1)

uroshnor (443541) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190351)

Actually, if this was the guy I think it was ... They dug him out and there was a bit of an international incident with various countries claiming ownership of the "noble savage who died tragically", with I think the French, Italians and Swiss all having a go at it. When the scientists announced they found semen in the stomach contents the Swiss and Italians stopped claiming ownership ! So it may not have been the girlfriend that was the problem ... Of course there a bunch of legitimate explanations of how it got there besides the person in question batting for the other team, but I recall I found it very funny at the time. ( and I should note that I have no intrinsic problem with the recreational consumption of semen by either sex )

Condit claims he never knew him ... (2)

beanerspace (443710) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190352)

Washington D.C. - Shortly after an interview with Italian authorities, congressman Gary Condit held a press conference in which he flatly denied any knowledge of the iceman, his whereabouts or who may have wacked him in the back with an arrow.

Re:Good thing he was Alpine (1)

dinivin (444905) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190353)


Ahhh, yes... The discovery of how this 5,300 year old corpse died is so very important.

Dinivin

Cocoa Pebbles: "Barney Fakes His Death" (3)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190355)

Barney: Hey Fred!
Fred: What?!
Barney: Give me your Cocoa Pebbles!
Fred: No!
Barney: No? Ohhhhhh, Freeeeeed!
(barney gets hit by an arrow in the back)
Fred: Barney!
(a light appears behind Fred)
Barney: Yes, Fred?
Fred: You...you're an angel!
Barney: Your selfishness sent me to the great beyond.
(we see birds holding Barney on ropes and holding a flashlight over him)
Fred: Forgive me! Have my Cocoa Pebbles! Have them all!
Barney: Heavenly! Chocolatiest cereal in Bedrock!
(birds lick their lips and let go of the ropes)
Fred: Barney! You're no angel!
(Barney plummets into a glacier)
Barney: The devil made me do it!

thanks to [angelfire.com]

Was he British? (2)

6EQUJ5 (446008) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190356)


And his last words were...

"Run away! Run away! Run away!"



(yes, that's Monty Python for all you jocks who don't get it.)

Oh my god, they killed the Iceman (1)

VampireByte (447578) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190357)

Those Bastards!

Re:Who Done It? (5)

Paintthemoon (460937) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190361)

And the Justice Dept. denied that any of the missing FBI bows & arrows had anything to do with the death.

Hit from below (1)

jobugeek (466084) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190363)

I saw a picture of this guy somewhere else and he isn't very tall. How did he get hit from someone shorter than him?

"Hey, what is that midget doing with that arrow, OW........."

actual cause of death? (5)

estes_grover (466087) | more than 13 years ago | (#2190364)

I thought a glacier snuck up on the iceman while he was sleeping.
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