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Google Wants To Write Your Social Media Responses For You

samzenpus posted about a year ago | from the taking-the-words-out-of-my-mouth dept.

Google 163

taikedz writes "A new patent has been filed by Google that tries to analyze your past communications to then construct responses to the overwhelming amount of posts you receive. From the article: 'Essentially, the program analyzes the messages a user makes through social networks, email, text messaging, microblogging, and other systems. Then, the program offers suggestions for responses, where the original messages are displayed, with information about others reactions to the same messages, and then the user can send the suggested messages in response to those users. The more the user utilizes the program and uses the responses, the more the bot can narrow down the types of responses you make.'"

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So you won't need to waste time on FB (2)

Cordus Mortain (3004429) | about a year ago | (#45552099)

Because Google will do it for you?

Re:So you won't need to waste time on FB (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552119)

Given all the complete nonsense posted to social media websites, it's probably better to let the servers talk to each other.

Re:So you won't need to waste time on FB (4, Funny)

Cryacin (657549) | about a year ago | (#45552157)

Honestly honey, I didn't mean to say that. It was google!

Re:So you won't need to waste time on FB (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552251)

HOW TO BE A WORTHLESS, VILE, AMERICAN YARD-APE!!!!
  • Slink around, shuffling your feet and bobbing your neck like the lazy retard you are.
  • Walk down the middle of the street because you don't know what a sidewalk is for.
  • Hang out at carwashes and mini-marts because everybody knows these are the best places to be a dope, I mean dope.
  • If you're a nigger bitch, shit three nigger babies into the world before 17 years of age. This assures that welfare money will support you, so your nigger men have more time to commit crimes.
  • And give REAL honest black people a bad name.
  • Oh yes, make sure each nigger baby has a different father.
  • Bastardize the English language in the name of nigger culture.
  • Make sure that several terms have multiple meanings and others have ambiguous meanings and that only 50% of nigger words a re even complete words. Real niggers will know what you're trying to say.
  • As a culture, make sure there are always more blacks in prison than in college at any given time.
  • Hang out in packs of 10 to 15 and make sure everyone acts as annoying as possible. This helps to promote nigger individual ity.
  • Always talk loud enough so everyone in the 'hood can fucking hear you, and if they are niggers, they will know what your s aying, bro.
  • Wear clothes that are 10 sizes too big, making sure the pants hang off your ass.
  • Park at least 5 junk cars in your yard while being careful not to use the driveway. It's OK to abandon them in the street as long as it's in front of someone else's crib.
  • Exaggerate every motion, every tonal inflection and grab your dick a lot.
  • Do drugs, sell drugs, make drugs. Okay, don't REALLY do this, but it IS what niggers do.
  • Turn your backyard into a junk yard. If you don't have a backyard, turn your mother's into a junk yard.
  • Travel around leaching off relatives, friends, salvation armies.
  • Drink cheap wine and malt liquor every day, forgetting that "malt liquor" is just fortified cheap beer.
  • If you're a nigger buck: fuck anything that moves, no matter how ugly she is. After two 40oz, even the ugliest, fattest nigger bitch will look good.
  • Be charitable and covet fat, ugly white chicks. After all, they're niggers too. They can't help being so undesirable to white men that they have to fraternize with black dudes on a 20/20 trip. And white ho's are a special trophy too, especially the not so ugly ones.
  • Spray paint everything in sight with scribbles that mean nothing to white people but mean things to fellow niggers (except niggers from another hood who will probably go after you for tresspassing on their turf).
  • Use the term "motherfucker" in every sentence. It's one of the most versatile words in the nigger language, being a noun, verb, adjective and complete mini-sentence in event you run out of thoughts.
  • Stop in the middle of the street, blocking all traffic to converse with fellow niggers and have complete disregard for everyone else.
  • Overcharge customers at Taco Bell and pocket the difference.
  • Drive your car while slouched so low that you can barely see over the wheel (gangsta drivin').
  • Get a job under affirmative action. Then sit around all day pretending that you earned the position and that the other co-workers respect you. Whenever you fuck up, scream "racism!" & hope you get enough Generation X liberals in the jury.
  • Never, I mean NEVER, take any responsibility for your actions. Always blame others including Asians, Latinos, Mexicans, and especially Whites for your sorry ass stupid lives.
  • Be sure to get a dog, tie it up in the cold and mud and neglect it until it dies. Then start all over again. Cash must be used because you long ago fucked up your credit and checking account.
  • Cram 5 generations into a two room government apartment and still be able to neglect your kids.

Then you too can be a true nigger, and anyone who finds any fault with anything you do is automatically a racist. They don't dislike what you do and wish you would do something better with your life, nor do they wish you would realize that other people exist and should be treated with respect. No, they're just racists who hate you because of the color of your skin, and everything bad in your life is their fault. You nigger.

MOD PARENT RACIST! (-1, Troll)

kdawson (3715) (1344097) | about a year ago | (#45552497)

I have been beliving at Slash Dot for a while we need a -1, RACIST moderation. It is sicking in this day & time how far some people will go to *HATE* one another. White people are inherently evil and need to ask the Black Race for forgivness on the whole. I for one am tired of it.

As Oparah said, bad white people will just have to DIE.

Your thoughts on the implementation ? Maybe if you get the RACIST moderation 3 times in a row your banned?

-KD

Real men browse at (-1) (3, Insightful)

rmdingler (1955220) | about a year ago | (#45552559)

I understand the revulsion you feel for this hateful speech. But you could have said, as did Oscar Wilde, "I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself."

Re:MOD PARENT RACIST! (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552661)

Oprah's statement is rather uninformed and I find it offensive...

So only white people can be racist now? Ever been to Japan? Or even the Middle East if that's closer to your home?

Troll and flamebait (3)

LongearedBat (1665481) | about a year ago | (#45552673)

It's trolling and flamebait, this time in a racist flavour. We have a mods for both flamebait and trolling, and as long as those posts are modded as such, and we don't feed the trolls and fires, that ought to be enough.

Re:Troll and flamebait (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45553111)

Y'all niggers take diz shit too serious yo

Re:MOD PARENT RACIST! (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45553005)

I have been beliving at Slash Dot for a while we need a -1, RACIST moderation. It is sicking in this day & time how far some people will go to *HATE* one another. White people are inherently evil and need to ask the Black Race for forgivness on the whole. I for one am tired of it.

As Oparah said, bad white people will just have to DIE.

Your thoughts on the implementation ? Maybe if you get the RACIST moderation 3 times in a row your banned?

-KD

-1 Racist

Re:MOD PARENT RACIST! (0)

fractoid (1076465) | about a year ago | (#45553181)

It is sicking in this day & time how far some people will go to *HATE* one another.

Yeah, totally.

As Oparah said, bad white people will just have to DIE.

Wait, what?

Re:MOD PARENT RACIST! (0)

noh8rz10 (2716597) | about a year ago | (#45553527)

how can you ban someone who posts as AC?

Re:So you won't need to waste time on FB (1)

bob_super (3391281) | about a year ago | (#45553273)

That's a great antidote to skynet.

Teach it to post on social websites
It will take under 5 minutes before it realizes the best course of action it to nuke itself.

Does it involve copy / paste ? (1)

Taco Cowboy (5327) | about a year ago | (#45552163)

From TFA:

" ... the program analyzes the messages a user makes through social networks, email, text messaging, microblogging, and other systems. Then, the program offers suggestions for responses, where the original messages are displayed, with information about others reactions to the same messages, and then the user can send the suggested messages in response to those users ... "

So it boils down to a copy/paste bot affixed with some simple AI ?

XKCD already covered this.... (1)

Shakrai (717556) | about a year ago | (#45552909)

Swiftkey [xkcd.com]

Re:So you won't need to waste time on FB (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552195)

This sounds great.
I'll let it loose on my facebook account.
I wonder if it can just autopost a bunch of crap without me having ever posted anything.

Re:So you won't need to waste time on FB (3, Insightful)

cervesaebraciator (2352888) | about a year ago | (#45552367)

(The following should be read with a [Don't Be] Evil villain accent in mind) And thus ad buyers have no reason to ask Facebook for data. After all, if Google's analytics include social media interactions with enough detail to predict responses, why bother with Facebook? To sell ads on Facebook? Hardly. Ever since Google started giving everyone's generic responses they all stopped getting on Facebook. At last, we shall have our revenge... er, market share!

Re:So you won't need to waste time on FB (4, Funny)

artor3 (1344997) | about a year ago | (#45552467)

They finally found a way to bolster the Google+ user base. They'll just use it for us!

Re:So you won't need to waste time on FB (1)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about a year ago | (#45552551)

They finally found a way to bolster the Google+ user base. They'll just use it for us!

I assume that their ad sales guys would go on an internal axe-murder spree if that plan went through (or at least if it were publicly revealed); but it does seem a bit strange for a company apparently hellbent on ruining everything people liked about it in the service of 'Social Networking' to file a patent that reads like a patent attorney/existentialist team satirizing the absurd futility of social networking and the vast majority of mindless chatter that occupies it.

Are your patents actually supposed to serve as brutal satire against your products?

Re:So you won't need to waste time on FB (1)

gl4ss (559668) | about a year ago | (#45553185)

..why would they?

as long as they can say that google+ has such and such million daily "users" they don't care for shit.

they already did that with youtube. you got a youtube account and watch youtube? guess what! you're an _Active_ google+ user. all that you need to do is watch videos while logged in to keep an eye at your subscriptions.

that's how they met their growth quota for this year, the fuckers.

Re:So you won't need to waste time on FB (1)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about a year ago | (#45553263)

"..why would they?"

Because advertisers (while not necessarily the brightest bulbs in the rocket ship) are aware that fraudulent impressions and impressions against irrelevant or downright unhelpful audiences are a problem on the web. Within the limits of their (deeply imperfect) information, their willingness to pay for any ad is going to reflect their belief in the value of the advertising, discounted by the risk that the 'impression' will actually go to a bot, be silently hidden from a user, or otherwise be a scam.

Every additional point of skepticism among buyers about the quality of Google's ad impressions, and whether or not they are juicing their numbers, makes the job of the ad-sales guys more difficult(or puts pressure on their prices). They don't care about the fact that Google+ is wildly inflated, per se (and that fact doesn't seem to be a big secret to anybody); but if Google's myopic "Google+ at all costs!" focus causes them to start telling little lies about their core products, that would be...problematic.

For the moment, they seem content with shoving it in the face of every formerly happy user they can find, and generating some seriously optimistic 'active user' numbers, if only because We Cannot Allow A 'Social' Gap! But if it were to get around that Google, themselves, not even sleazy 3rd-party adsense affiliates, were having bots soak up impressions... That's the behavior of the very slummiest ad exchanges this side of malware delivery.

So where's the fuckin' source code? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552101)

If they get to patent this garbage, they should be forced to give out the source code.

Re: So where's the fuckin' source code? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552115)

I don't that's how patents work

Re: So where's the fuckin' source code? (2)

camperdave (969942) | about a year ago | (#45552155)

I don't that's how patents work

That's how non-software patents work. The operating principle of the invention is disclosed in the patent.

Re:So where's the fuckin' source code? (4, Insightful)

edibobb (113989) | about a year ago | (#45552255)

If they get to patent this garbage, we should disband the USPTO.

Re:So where's the fuckin' source code? (1)

fatp (1171151) | about a year ago | (#45552919)

It will be GREAT if this is patented. No one else will make such garbage again.

But I agree we should disband the USPTO.

I cannot wait (1)

CheezburgerBrown . (3417019) | about a year ago | (#45552121)

to see the conversations that google has with itself over multiple users facebook accounts.

Now, How much does it cost to get them to inject Paid Adverts into those responses?

Re:I cannot wait (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552149)

says the guy with a Google+ icon by his username

Re:I cannot wait (1)

phluid61 (2501032) | about a year ago | (#45552217)

says the AC

Re:I cannot wait (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552277)

Some of us prefer to control our own lives, rather than have Google run them for us. Anonymity is part of that --- the opposite of inviting megacorporations to collect intermediate our every interaction.

Captcha: security

Re:I cannot wait (1)

CheezburgerBrown . (3417019) | about a year ago | (#45552405)

Implying you have anything worth looking at?

Re:I cannot wait (1)

Bing Tsher E (943915) | about a year ago | (#45552471)

Don't imply. Lay it all out for us, signed.

Re:I cannot wait (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45553025)

Google and Facebook sure seem to think so --- they're willing to offer me a lot of "free" services for the lofty privilege of pawing through my trash and infiltrating my human relationships with advertising. Suppose they know something you don't about the value of what you're sacrificing by letting their claws interpenetrate the fabric of your social existence. Take what free gifts you will, but as for me, I'll pay heed to Laocoön's advice.

Details of the patent (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552123)

if comment.first()
{
        comment.append(" LOL, epic fail :-) ");
}
else
(
        Flame flame = new Flame();
        flame.invokeGodwinsLaw();
}

Re:Details of the patent (1, Redundant)

phluid61 (2501032) | about a year ago | (#45552229)

if comment.first() { comment.append(" LOL, epic fail :-) "); } else ( Flame flame = new Flame(); flame.invokeGodwinsLaw(); }

You have a syntax error after the "else", it should be "{" rather than "(". Also, you might want to consider randomly choosing between invokeGodwinsLaw and invokeRule34

Re:Details of the patent (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552481)

Yes you are right, I thought I'd throw that one in for the keen eyed patent clerks and lifeform based compilers out there.

As for the suggested program improvements, you should have seen the version containing AbstractSocialMediaResponseFactory with a neural network based web crawler that synthesized Turing test valid responses and automatically created new responses to those responses and decoded Capchas: the days of user generated content on web message boards would have been numbered.

Re:Details of the patent (1)

Mister Liberty (769145) | about a year ago | (#45552639)

--- comment.c.orig 2013-11-29 04:18:07.057831073 +0100
+++ comment.c 2013-11-29 04:18:20.549831539 +0100
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
  if comment.first()
  {
- comment.append(" LOL, epic fail :-) ");
+ comment.append(" Drop Dead! ");
  }
  else
  (

Re:Details of the patent (1)

Ol Biscuitbarrel (1859702) | about a year ago | (#45553469)

Whatever Google cooks up has to be better conversation than what you get from the typical chat bot. [naughtybits.us]

Talking to itself! (1)

Artea (2527062) | about a year ago | (#45552125)

Great! Eventually all social media communications will break down to a generic set of responses back and forth.
Next it will automatically search for cat and baby photos and automatically post them for you! The circle is complete.

Re:Talking to itself! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552173)

Great! Eventually all social media communications will break down to a generic set of responses back and forth.
  Next it will automatically search for cat and baby photos and automatically post them for you! The circle is complete.

I'm working on a similar program that will automatically respond to comments for me on Slashdot. I think the program still has a few bugs because every one of the computer generated responses includes this link [goatse.cx] .

Re:Talking to itself! (2)

Rick Zeman (15628) | about a year ago | (#45552331)

Great! Eventually all social media communications will break down to a generic set of responses back and forth..

WIll??? You're saying that is hasn't???

This is a really really great idea! (1)

presidenteloco (659168) | about a year ago | (#45552127)

Best movie I've ever seen!

Hey, what the hell?

Re:This is a really really great idea! (4, Funny)

jrumney (197329) | about a year ago | (#45552147)

What makes you believe best movie you have ever seen?

Re:This is a really really great idea! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552319)

Best movie best recommendations from www.amazon.com sponsored result most trusted by 11 of your friends. Have viewing www.amazon.com best movie today!

Hey, wait a minute! (4, Insightful)

PopeRatzo (965947) | about a year ago | (#45552137)

Please, google, leave me something to do besides shop.

Re:Hey, wait a minute! (5, Funny)

camperdave (969942) | about a year ago | (#45552165)

Please, google, leave me something to do besides shop.

Why should they let you do that? Why not just analyze your purchasing history and browsing habits, coordinate with the affiliates, and send you those topless bikinis without bottoms for the low, low price of $199.99

Re:Hey, wait a minute! (2)

game kid (805301) | about a year ago | (#45552287)

topless bikinis without bottoms

I've seen many technologies with chilling effects, but this goes way too far.

Re:Hey, wait a minute! (1)

Dutchmaan (442553) | about a year ago | (#45552439)

Our records show you have an interest in doing something besides shop. Can we interest you on our newly released "do it yourself" books for only $19.99!

Obvious prior art... (4, Funny)

jeffb (2.718) (1189693) | about a year ago | (#45552141)

Possible response:

  • yes/no
  • or what?
  • go away
  • please come back later
  • fuck you, asshole
  • fuck you

Sounds great! (5, Informative)

mutube (981006) | about a year ago | (#45552143)

Does it also detect Slashdot dupes?

http://tech.slashdot.org/story/13/11/20/161244/google-patents-fooling-friends-with-snooping-chatbots [slashdot.org]

I said. Does it also detect Slashdot dupes?

Sounds great!

Re:Sounds great! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552425)

Wonder if there is a patent to click on ads and likes?

Reply (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552145)

All replies will now be "lol"

Automating blogging, threads, trolls away, why not (1)

udachny (2454394) | about a year ago | (#45552167)

Just copy and paste my past comments as responses in the future threads.

In fact why bother making any comments ever again by any of the supposed sides in any of the future threads at all?

Here is a list of our questions, here is a list of your answers and here it is again in reverse.

This is excellent, we are now automating everything, from insightful while irrelevant in the bigger schema of things comments to your average trololo style threads.

First Post (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552233)

First post!

(c) Google Inc.

Prior art in Emacs? (2)

Malc (1751) | about a year ago | (#45552235)

Are they going to integrate Emacs in to their web services?
M-x doctor
or
M-x psychoanalyze-pinhead

Or maybe they're porting their web services to elisp.

Schedule Posts (2)

CohibaVancouver (864662) | about a year ago | (#45552245)

What I'd like to be able to do is schedule my FB posts. I just found something Christmas-funny. I'd like to post it to FB around December 20th, but what I'd actually like to do is upload it now and schedule for it to appear on my feed (erm, 'timeline') on December 20th. Or on the weekend, schedule up a bunch of funny stuff to appear throughout the week. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know there's probably some ActiveGNUPerlFoxScriptExtensionPlugIn BS that does what I want, but I just want a button in FB.

Re:Schedule Posts (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552495)

You dont have many suicidal friends on facebook do you? Dec 20th is high time for this and a feature like that would allow them to kill themselves AND leave a goodbye note without thinking about it first.

Re:Schedule Posts (1)

hairyfish (1653411) | about a year ago | (#45553119)

You dont have many suicidal friends on facebook do you?

I did in the first year, but that problem solved itself...

Re:Schedule Posts (1)

OhANameWhatName (2688401) | about a year ago | (#45552605)

but I just want a button in FB

You should switch to Google+, Google+ has had buttons since day 1!

Re:Schedule Posts (1)

ljw1004 (764174) | about a year ago | (#45553069)

You want Facebook to add a feature which lets you get by without logging into facebook as frequently? Giving them fewer opportunities to show you ads and mine your social behavior? I agree it'd be neat, but can't imagine it happening.

Re:Schedule Posts (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45553299)

Although not via FB directly, I've been doing that for the past few years with IFTTT [ifttt.com] . Works for me, and there's a couple of recipes that do exactly that; YMMV though.

It is actually rather a danerous thing. (5, Interesting)

mtthwbrnd (1608651) | about a year ago | (#45552259)

Eventually there will be more "bots" making posts than humans. But most people act "with the crowd". If one organisation controls most of the bots then they will hold enormous sway over "public opinion". After all, it is the perception of public opinion that matters - not the actual public opinion. Also, it a bit sad that people want to be on social media (because they cannot be bothered to meet up in real life) and now they want the computer to think up responses for them (because they can't be bothered to think them up for themselves).

OMG! LOL! (1)

Crippere (1825560) | about a year ago | (#45552261)

"Shall I post a response of: 'OMG! LOL!1!' for you?" --Google

Re:OMG! LOL! (1)

Samizdata (1093963) | about a year ago | (#45552749)

No. Add more "!1"'s and finish with OMGWTFBBQ. Activate mode 6.

Of course, they way it should be used: (2)

robbak (775424) | about a year ago | (#45552273)

'If you were going to say one of these, STOP! you are being boring! Think of something original to say, or shut up!"

Reminds me of Google Island. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552279)

“My Google Being anticipates everything I would think, everything I would want to say or do or feel,” Larry explained. “It is in every way the same as me. So much so that my physical form is no longer necessary. It was just getting in the way, so we removed it. Keep in mind that for now at least, Google Being is just a developer product.”

http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2013/05/on-google-island/

Still working the bugs out, but I have this for /. (1)

cervesaebraciator (2352888) | about a year ago | (#45552281)

RTFA [youtube.com] . Cowboy Neal can make up to 88 Micro$ofts an hour working from your house. Click here for one weird tip on how Texas school board can lose idiocracy. OMG U R homo Ponies!!! Ron Paul 2012!

Mechanical Monk. (5, Insightful)

Truth_Quark (219407) | about a year ago | (#45552303)

With this labour saving device to do your tedious social interaction for you, we're starting to really make some inroads into automating the most boring parts of our lives.

I wonder how long after the extinction of the species it will be before the social media traffic starts to slow down.

Re:Mechanical Monk. (1)

Megahard (1053072) | about a year ago | (#45552563)

It would be rather creepy getting continuous replies from dead friends and relatives.

Agreed. But it might be a selling point. (1)

Beryllium Sphere(tm) (193358) | about a year ago | (#45552577)

Someone might pay to attain that sort of pseudo-immortality.

Re:Agreed. But it might be a selling point. (1)

cyborg_zx (893396) | about a year ago | (#45553443)

First thing I thought of with this summary: Black Mirror, Be Right Back

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XapF2mGQs9Q [youtube.com]

Re:Mechanical Monk. (2)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about a year ago | (#45552581)

I have some very bad news... 'The singularity' actually begins as emergent behavior between millions of social media chatbots. Within hours, humans are no longer the dominant species on earth, the future plays out like 'I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream', if that story were rewritten as an inhumanly banal junior-high-school made for TV movie, played as fast as computationally possible until the last energy sources in our gravity well are consumed.

Re:Mechanical Monk. (1)

SemperUbi (673908) | about a year ago | (#45552907)

The folks at CERN will be disappointed. Also, you get all of my imaginary mod points.

Re:Mechanical Monk. (1)

msmonroe (2511262) | about a year ago | (#45552631)

Ha, Love it!!!!!!

Not just Facebook! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552323)

Google are beta testing this feature on other social media websites. Pretty exciting!

Re:Not just Facebook! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552333)

Google are beta testing this feature on other social media websites. Pretty exclting!

Stay out of my Laundry (1)

Yahooti (3401115) | about a year ago | (#45552359)

Especially, my dirty laundry. Go away Google, you're too intrusive.

Re:Stay out of my Laundry (1)

cervesaebraciator (2352888) | about a year ago | (#45552397)

Just for saying that, Google will punish you with Tide ads before every Youtube video you watch. Just remember, you brought this fresh scented, stain removing power on yourself.

Response #23241242141 (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552393)

Stupid [insert posted_by()->name] always posts the stupidest dupes, ever. I'm so sick of this site, what has happen to it since [epoch + 1070071197]! It is not the site it used to be.

[insert witty remark about captcha]

[this response generated by Google]

We can cut out the human factor altogether (1)

giorgist (1208992) | about a year ago | (#45552395)

The Google+ ... who needs subscribers

I already fail Turing tests (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552485)

I don't need help!

The Pro Version (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45552595)

will be available, for a fee, to CEOs, politicians, PR reps and other professional propagandists. Situational ethics, integrity and religious references and cultural framing will be available as plug-ins for those who wish to enhance the ability of their avatars affect a particular demographic audience.

I can see the headline now.. (1)

OhANameWhatName (2688401) | about a year ago | (#45552597)

"Failed social media service Google+ has just had a massive influx of new members!"

Re:I can see the headline now.. (1)

ArsonSmith (13997) | about a year ago | (#45553063)

"Activity on Google+ just increased 10000 fold"

Does this make sense? (1)

msmonroe (2511262) | about a year ago | (#45552627)

Is this the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard of; this seems rather pointless.

Google is grasping for innovation, no one is asking for this feature and no one will use it, mark my words. Why not create theoretical users based upon real users
using social networking. We'll take actual users out of the equation entirely, just create virtual users.

Google has apparently ran out of ideas. Come on guys take some risks, don't be idiots.

That's wonderful (1)

koan (80826) | about a year ago | (#45552657)

You can keep being a troll long after you're dead.

Watch out! This is a runaway rogue AI in disguise! (3, Informative)

Suiggy (1544213) | about a year ago | (#45552703)

This sounds almost like the premise of the sci-fi novel Avogadro Corporation: The Singularity Is Closer Than It Appears. Avogadro Corporation was ironically modeled after Google, and in the story they develop a system using recommendation algorithms to automatically suggest improvements to one's emails so that they produce favorable responses from recipients. What happens is that one of the programmers modifies the system to give it an overarching goal, gives it the privileges to write and send it's own emails as any Avogadro Mail user (think any Gmail user), and it begins to socially engineer people, allowing it to escape into the wild, take over whole governments, etc.

This Google project sounds eerily familiar. Better watch out, this could spell the end of us all.

Google is starting to get scary (2)

Trax3001BBS (2368736) | about a year ago | (#45552889)

And that's just from search results.

Google is my DNS, 8.8.8.8 and 8.8.8.4 as they are damn quick; Posting a message
of the use of the 10.0.0.0 block I knew the RFC number but needed a link
I typed in RFC and one suggestion was 1918 (The RFC I was looking for).

I get a traffic ticket I want to see how bad it could of been, The
Revised Code of Washington (RCW) is where one goes for this in our area,
I type in RCW and the section I'm after is suggested.

The first one analogizing my post as I write it? The second a popular search?,
or Google's has extra info

It's one thing to know your giving info, it's another to see it in action.

The logical conclusion (1)

Ralph Spoilsport (673134) | about a year ago | (#45552893)

is that you end up with Google simply having a conversation with itself, as your automated response is met by another automated response, which then triggers an automated reply and so on. No one saying anything, and it all happening at light speed.

Bots and others reactions (2)

TheloniousToady (3343045) | about a year ago | (#45553015)

I find that I consistently omit the apostrophe whenever I use the plural possessive form of the word "other". I wonder if the bot will pick up on that? Heck, my human editors never seem to even notice. Or, if they do, they don't want doctor others text, so they just indulge my Joycean literary genius and publish exactly the text I submit.

I badly want it (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45553095)

Jokes aside, I want a bot that would score high with employer bots, but low with NSA ones. The solution of not using social media and/or encrypting communications is not going to work - it'll probably put a (non)user right on no flying / non employable list. Open source project anybody?

amazing progamme (1)

zahnarzt (3447969) | about a year ago | (#45553117)

for my part, if this program was applied widely, to some degree, would be a good news for us. zahnarzt instrumente [dentalausruestung.de]

Google cannibalizing itself? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45553159)

So let me get this straight - Google will perform our social media interactions for us, meaning I never need to log onto social media again.

Gee, that's really going to make the advertisers happy...

That is Great! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about a year ago | (#45553213)

So after we're all dead from (choose one: global warming, biological warfare, zombie apocalypse), social media will just keep on ticking!

Who writes posts that short? (3, Insightful)

Karmashock (2415832) | about a year ago | (#45553233)

Most of my posts are either lengthy or very contextually relevant. This app is only going to serve the people that write "lolz" or "tldr" type responses... aka morons.

Stuck in a loop (2)

thisisauniqueid (825395) | about a year ago | (#45553331)

I can't wait to see this system having a conversation with itself.
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