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U.S. Navy Building "Macross"?

timothy posted more than 13 years ago | from the your-money-at-play dept.

Science 34

Sang Woo Han writes: "It seems that the US Navy is planning on building a floating structure a mile long called the Joint Mobile Offshore Base (JMOB). Featured on MIT's Technology Review, the article explains in detail not only about the JMOB, but plans to build other structures such as ports, airports, and even a floating city. Now all we need is for a couple of giant humanoid aliens to show up and we start beating them up in Valkyrie fighters. (And who'll be our Lynn Min Mei, then?)" Zhang Ziyi, if it can be arranged, please.

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I'm sure it will be done (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2110071)

I'm certain that this will be built, soon. But, the moon base just might be finished first.

JBOD? (2)

sacremon (244448) | more than 13 years ago | (#2116612)

If this is a collection of multiple structures combined into one platform, would JMOB then stand for Just a Mass of Boats?

RAIB (1)

hoggoth (414195) | more than 13 years ago | (#2141312)

No, that would be RAIB, Redundant Array of Inexpensive Boats.

Umm, yeah... OK (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2119448)

This is a warning - beware of 3Com!

Re:Umm, yeah... OK (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2169223)

I don't get it.

Splain it to me.

Re:Umm, yeah... OK (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2134460)

Just extremely off topic, that's all...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/archive/16958 .html>

Whistleblowers take 3Com to court over unsafe kit claim
By: John LeydenPosted: 15/02/2001 at 18:43 GMT

3Com is facing a multi-million dollar lawsuit from former employees claiming it knowingly sold unsafe products and conspired to file false police reports against them when they reported problems with its kit.

Umm...hello?? (1)

Dolly_Llama (267016) | more than 13 years ago | (#2119475)

And who'll be our Lynn Min Mei, then?

Ummm.. hello? Is this not slashdot? Is there any question that our Min Mei would be none other than Natalie Portman, pouring hot grits down the pants of all the Zentraedi??

Re:Umm...hello?? (1)

thefritob (234484) | more than 13 years ago | (#2119383)

BOOYAAA!! Hey, why didn't this show up on the front page?

Coincidence? (2)

PD (9577) | more than 13 years ago | (#2120737)

First, we get a story about the future of 3D first person shooters (the elusive virtual world) and now we've got a story about giant floating barges and condominiums.

I'm not going to open any bitmaps today.

LOL (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2133045)

You had me laughing my as off. Mod this guy up. ANd watch out for gif files too....

Stress (2, Interesting)

lavaforge (245529) | more than 13 years ago | (#2122784)

I read the article, and I still have one question: How does a ship this size attain the structural rigidity to keep from deforming under it's own weight? I have this image of the entire ship squishing like some kind of cartoon.

Re:Stress (2, Funny)

epzoutes (514942) | more than 13 years ago | (#2133084)

By using Damascus steel, of course!

Re:Stress (1)

canadian_right (410687) | more than 13 years ago | (#2170269)

The water holds it UP.

Quack! (2, Insightful)

refactored (260886) | more than 13 years ago | (#2129538)

The phrase "Sitting Duck" comes to mind...

Overheard (4, Funny)

SEWilco (27983) | more than 13 years ago | (#2136821)

  • "Sir? Where do I aim my peashooter on this thing?"
  • "One gun emplacement hit, two thousand to go..."
  • "Sir, my artillery can only reach halfway across the target!"
  • "Wow, the torpedoes certainly have a smooth ride on the leeward side of that mobile breakwater."
  • "500 watertight compartments flooded, forty thousand left..."
  • "The fleet's next assignment is to paint the deck white and reverse the 'el Nino' warming."
  • "Well, of course there are depth charge and torpedo hatches on the bottom. The destroyer escort can't reach the six subs hiding underneath."
  • "You're right, a tactical nuclear satchel charge is a sensible solution for the problem..."
  • "What do you mean independence? How many times the square footage of Sealand?"
  • "The paper is called 'The use of tidal gauges to track massive oceanic displacements'"
  • "Here are the surveillance camera recordings of the arrival at the bow of the grandchildren of the dolphins that have been chasing us..."
  • "Kilroy was here"

Possible Applications (2, Insightful)

Starquake (245822) | more than 13 years ago | (#2129831)

These types of things would make interesting scientific platforms for marine research. And what about NASA? I bet they could save some major cheese on rocket/shuttle launches.

Or maybe they'll just be used as "Floating Fortresses" (ala 1984).

the real purpose of this: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2131295)

"OnSeaOrg" lol.

Pls don't mod me down, u either get it or you don't :)

City built on the Sea (1)

EastCoastLA (129478) | more than 13 years ago | (#2131687)

At one time I thought Micro$oft was going to create a floating City. One they could have complete windows control. Was there not a movement a few years ago to to build a city in the Gulf of Mexico?

Why settle for sinking a ship... (2)

seanmeister (156224) | more than 13 years ago | (#2133001)

...when you can sink the whole base?

I had to say it... (1)

Achilleas (454421) | more than 13 years ago | (#2134906)

Even if a little late I have to say it : Let's refit the Yamato, rename it the Argo and fly into space for the 148000 light years round-trip! (If only Gamilons exist!)

Replace the Bombrange on Vieques with one (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2139992)

Seriously. Then the Navy can pull it anywhere, including the Strait of Taiwan, and show everyone how well the U.S. Navy can blow itself up.

Of course, the 5-10 Billion dollar price tag means that it'll cost U.S. Taxpayers 50-100 Billion dollars, plus cost overruns.

Hmm, Star Wars, with GPS from the target announcing it's location, or a gigantic floating base. How can one administration possibly fund this with moose pelts squished under the treads of Alaskan oil exploration?

Hurricanes? (1)

machinegt (450044) | more than 13 years ago | (#2140972)

does this thing withstand hurricanes? hurricanes have more energy than a bunch of nuclear bombs. ok lets say it can withstand a hurricane or two. can it withstand an enemy ship launching torpedoes at it? that means its going to have to be protected by a ton of submarines. what about a missle attack? or air raid? this will be like pearl harbor 2 and titanic 2 combined together! makes a great premise for movie! i bet hollywood likes that idea! its too big.

Re:Hurricanes? (0)

HardwareLust (454846) | more than 13 years ago | (#2117257)

I have spent some time on an Aircraft Carrier, and twice have been through the middle of a hurricane on them (Picture 200+ foot waves, 80-100 mph winds, etc.) It was no sweat. A little 'bumping and grinding', but nothing we couldn't handle. I would venture to say that since it's construction will be similar to modern Carriers, that hurricanes will not be much of a problem.

Re:Hurricanes? (1)

joshki (152061) | more than 13 years ago | (#2153830)

oh yeah... ;) I remember taking water over the bow... Now that was an impressive sight from the bridge! you've got a good point, though -- everyone is talking about how it would be too big, etc... read the article -- it would be five sections, 985 feet (approximately) which is a good 200 feet shorter than a modern day aircraft carrier... I don't think size would be a major problem.

Re:Hurricanes? (1)

Konovalev (316879) | more than 13 years ago | (#2154498)

Actually, it's five sections, each 985 feet. So it's really rather big.
I wonder how wide it is? After all, as 'The Perfect Storm' mentioned, any ship can be overturned by a beam sea more than half its beam in height. From the picture it looks like a hundred-foot rogue wave could roll this sucker. Now that is a disaster movie worth making.

Re:Hurricanes? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2140003)

Don't forget the M stands for Mobile, they can always dimantle and go someplace the hurricane isn't going. That's pretty much standard procedure for ships in any port being approached by a hurricane.

Bomb Magnet (1)

jjszucs (254263) | more than 13 years ago | (#2142311)

Aircraft carriers are called "bomb magnets" for a very good reason, but JMOB would raise the "bomb magnet" concept to a whole new level.

Our Min Mei? (1)

mfarah (231411) | more than 13 years ago | (#2146045)

(And who'll be our Lynn Min Mei, then?)

Let's just hope it's not Christina Aguilera and/or Britney Spears. I'm sick of both of them. For quality female singers, I'd rather hear Kate Bush. :-)

On a serious note, I think the article lacks detail: how does the Damascus steel compare to the steel used in the Toledo swords? Those are remembered with envy, too, and the know-how hasn't been lost. Who knows, maybe Verhoeven and Pendray al simply reinvented the wheel...

Re:Our Min Mei? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2122101)

Actually I see no reason that Damascus steel would be at all useful for this. It is not really stronger than the steel used in conventional girders (per my understanding). The thing is that Damascus steel is high-carbon steel that is not brittle, making it perfect for swords and knives, but not girders.

Re:Our Min Mei? (1)

BlackHat (67036) | more than 13 years ago | (#2125319)

Why some dim white girl? 2 million+ Min Mei clones are born every day.

And to follow on your sub-thread: Does the term "Moorish Smiths" answer it for you? (ie Imported Tech's)

Re:Our Min Mei? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 13 years ago | (#2155297)

Sounds cool, where can we sign up. Still, I wouldn't want to be the one responsible for designing something like this. Imagine everything that could go wrong.

I bet a Texas oil millionaire would (1)

Hairy_Potter (219096) | more than 13 years ago | (#2157103)

help build this.

First Snowcrash ref.

Re:I bet a Texas oil millionaire would (1)

Konovalev (316879) | more than 13 years ago | (#2135257)

Not oil - cable TV. L Bob Rife, Lord of Bandwidth. May you be cast out for making incorrect Neal Stephenson references!
Personally, I think it could be used as a tax haven - just moor up ferries for accommo, old carriers as a landing strip, and maybe an obsolete battleship as a bank vault for a unique piece of antique jewellery. Call it the Logjam. (First Banksie reference). Actually, something like this was described in the James Cobb technothriller "Seafighters" - take nine big barges and moor them together, call it a Mobile Offshore Base (aka Floater One) then run American UAVs, Fleet Air Arm helicopters and singularly cool hovercraft gunboats off it to suppress piracy and warfare off the West African coast.
The book mentioned that something similar, but smaller, was used to host Special Boat Squadron units in the Gulf during the Iran-Iraq tanker war, when the Iranians were sending out light naval units to beat up oil tankers passing through the Strait of Hormuz. So it's probably not entirely a new idea. Still pretty good though.

What the hell? (0)

tristan f. (259738) | more than 13 years ago | (#2170384)

Not one post pointing out what a bunch of fucking losers everyone is? Christ, what is your fixation with all this anime bullshit? Get a life, it's really not that hard to do...

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