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Half of US Nuclear Missile Wing Implicated In Cheating

samzenpus posted about 9 months ago | from the what-did-you-get-for-question-four? dept.

United States 313

mdsolar writes "Just over half of the 183 nuclear missile launch officers at Malmstrom Air Force Base in Montana have been implicated in a widening exam cheating scandal, the Air Force said on Thursday, acknowledging it had 'systemic' problem within its ranks. The cheating was discovered during an investigation into illegal drug possession among airmen, when test answers were found in a text message on one missile launch officer's cell phone. The Air Force initially said 34 officers either knew about the cheating or cheated themselves. But Air Force Secretary Deborah Lee James told a Pentagon news conference on Thursday that the total number of implicated officers had grown to 92, all of them at Malmstrom, one of three nuclear missile wings overseeing America's 450 inter-continental missiles, or ICBMs."

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At Least ... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116801)

At least it wasn't launch codes on his cell phone. Let's all be glad about that.

Re: At Least ... (4, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116825)

least the launch codes aren't 000000 anymore

Re:At Least ... (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116855)

The launch codes are all set to: 00000000

* based on information released in recent articles
** the reason given was they don't want anything slowing down the launches in the event of an attack

Re:At Least ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117117)

I thought the launch code was 'kermit'. ;)

Re:At Least ... (2)

davester666 (731373) | about 9 months ago | (#46117131)

Well, it is far more important that we be able to immediately respond to a nuclear weapon attack by basically wiping out the rest of the world, ensuring nobody wins, than it is to make sure that if one of these missiles were to be stolen somehow, that it would be too easy to arm and fire it.

Goddamn it man, the communists are coming! Hell, they are here already!

Re:At Least ... (2)

JeffAtl (1737988) | about 9 months ago | (#46117239)

Actually, it's more important that everyone knows that a immediate response would be forthcoming that would essentially wipe out the rest of the world. That pretty much ensures that there won't be a missile to respond to in the first place.

Re:At Least ... (1)

WindBourne (631190) | about 9 months ago | (#46117267)

unless the other side believes that it can win. And that is the problem with China. To many of their leaders, MAD can be defeated. Hence the 3000+ miles of tunnels, combined with nuclear production underground, along with submarine production being done underground as well.

Re:At Least ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117311)

unless the other side believes that it can win. And that is the problem with China. To many of their leaders, MAD can be defeated. Hence the 3000+ miles of tunnels, combined with nuclear production underground, along with submarine production being done underground as well.

Even the Chinese leaders are not always so naive as to believe that they personally will survive such an attack. Just that a substantial portion of their population would. Even Mao knew nuclear weapons were mostly a paper tiger. You wave the paper threat to make your enemies back down, but you can't really use them in a practical engagement.

What are the questions? (4, Interesting)

rossdee (243626) | about 9 months ago | (#46116813)

What are the questions for this exam? Why do they need to cheat?

They have direct incentive to cheat. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116827)

When there is something to be gained by high marks, relying on personal honor is folly.

Re:They have direct incentive to cheat. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116875)

Answer the fucking question.

Re:They have direct incentive to cheat. (3, Funny)

Nemyst (1383049) | about 9 months ago | (#46116877)

Hold on, let me consult the cheat sheet...

Re:They have direct incentive to cheat. (4, Funny)

TheRealQuestor (1750940) | about 9 months ago | (#46117155)

Answer the fucking question.

You can't handle the truth.

Re:They have direct incentive to cheat. (1)

Joe_Dragon (2206452) | about 9 months ago | (#46117357)

DID YOU ORDER THE CODE RED?

Re: They have direct incentive to cheat. (4, Insightful)

tysonedwards (969693) | about 9 months ago | (#46117211)

Repeat after me: I misinterpreted the rules.

Re:What are the questions? (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116861)

Policies & procedures stuff, primarily. They cheat because, while there is a 'passing' score, your raw score also gets noted in member reviews. And when the review board sees that there's only 10 slots for the next rank in your specialty, and there's 20 people who graduated in the same class and all have good board interviews, of course they'll look at all your test scores next.

Re:What are the questions? (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116939)

there's only 10 slots for the next rank in your specialty, and there's 20 people who graduated in the same class

Sounds like the military is overstaffed. Some budget cuts are in order.

Re:What are the questions? (5, Insightful)

Charliemopps (1157495) | about 9 months ago | (#46116969)

You don't seem to get it. That's exactly what's happening. The military is cutting troops, not re-enlisting them. When your entire career has been spent sitting in a bunker waiting for the order to destroy the world, getting laid off is a bit more of a threat to you than others. I know quite a few career military guys and they all fear for their jobs right now. Not that it's a bad thing, our military is way way too big... but you can understand why these people are going to such lengths.

Re:What are the questions? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117075)

No you don't seem to get it. Career military guys should be laid off. Let them be reservists with productive jobs instead of getting paid a living wage to wait for a chance to destroy something.

Re:What are the questions? (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117137)

Who wants to hire a guy who has spent their entire career sitting in a bunker waiting for the order to destroy the world?

Re:What are the questions? (3, Insightful)

Kell Bengal (711123) | about 9 months ago | (#46117205)

Lots of people! High security clearances (and the implication that they are therefore trustworthy), technical training plus an unblemished record will take you far. These people would be excellent for recruiting into fields that require technical skills but not deep specialisation, such that they could be affordably retrained. Sometimes the proven quality and reliability of a recruit is more important than any particular skills they might already have.

Re:What are the questions? (4, Funny)

Shavano (2541114) | about 9 months ago | (#46117263)

Err, forget about that unblemished record.

Re:What are the questions? (1)

oscrivellodds (1124383) | about 9 months ago | (#46117271)

Except that 1/2 of them are now shown to be cheaters. There goes the trustworthiness, the technical training, and the unblemished record in one shot. Maybe they can work at the post office.

Re:What are the questions? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117247)

I'm looking to hire a guy to shovel the snow between my house and the grocery store.

Re:What are the questions? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117221)

That's exactly what he's saying should happen. You don't seem to get that he gets it.

Re:What are the questions? (1)

WindBourne (631190) | about 9 months ago | (#46117275)

Actually, I prefer to have senior ppl with their finger on the buttons. Far too many young guys WANT to go to war.

Re:What are the questions? (1)

Frosty Piss (770223) | about 9 months ago | (#46117175)

The military is cutting troops, not re-enlisting them.
Exactly. Right now is more difficult than ever for both officers and enlisted to "stay it" unless they are "top performers". The US military is downsizing by substantial numbers (and this is a good thing).

In the USAF (my employer - I'm a former Active Duty civilian), Operational Flying and the career fields that support it are doing quite well, and those that fail to make Major or have some other issue are pushed to UAVs. But yes, as some Lt or Captain in a bunker, you might want to plan an "after-USAF" career. We'll probably always have nukes, but it's a small career field getting smaller with no analog on the "outside".

Re:What are the questions? (1)

Firethorn (177587) | about 9 months ago | (#46117309)

In the USAF (my employer - I'm a former Active Duty civilian), Operational Flying and the career fields that support it are doing quite well, and those that fail to make Major or have some other issue are pushed to UAVs. But yes, as some Lt or Captain in a bunker, you might want to plan an "after-USAF" career. We'll probably always have nukes, but it's a small career field getting smaller with no analog on the "outside".

Think wider. There will always need to be some cross-training done, but 'sits in a bunker waiting to act' does actually cover a number of fields. 911 operator, for example. The cheating is very bad, but for somebody with at clean record and at least a Bachelour's, 911 mostly consists of waiting in a building for a phone call, then working through checklists on the basis of the phone call. Dispachers, sitting watch on non-critical bits of nuclear plants(or getting the training TO sit the critical watches), etc...

Re:What are the questions? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116867)

What are the questions for this exam? Why do they need to cheat?

Reminds me of the cheating scene in the movie "Spies Like Us". Maybe they were trying to get a job in foreign service?

Re:What are the questions? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116927)

1 - What are the consequences of an accidental launch?

a - Political embarrassment for the United States Armed Forces.
b - Court martial for officers found to be negligent.
c - Retributive attacks against your fellow servicemen around the world.
d - Global nuclear war likely culminating with human extinction.
e - All of the above.

Re:What are the questions? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117023)

2 - Which of the following is not an acceptable target to nuke?
a - Russia
b - Luxembourg
c - New York
d - New Zealand
e - Florida

Re:What are the questions? (1)

mysidia (191772) | about 9 months ago | (#46117123)

2 - Which of the following is not an acceptable target to nuke?

I would check all of them.

Re:What are the questions? (2)

stoploss (2842505) | about 9 months ago | (#46117159)

2 - Which of the following is not an acceptable target to nuke?

I would check all of them.

WRONG! The correct answer is Luxembourg.

All the rest of these places need to reap the destruction they so richly deserve (New York especially). New Zealand is included simply because we're jealous of their gratuitous natural beauty.

Anyhow, we're just waiting for an excuse.

Re:What are the questions? (1)

WindBourne (631190) | about 9 months ago | (#46117293)

and why not luxembourg?

Re:What are the questions? (1)

WindBourne (631190) | about 9 months ago | (#46117283)

zero chance of human extinction from nuke war. It is silly that ppl make such claims today when America and Russia have less than 1/3 of the nukes that we used to have. The real problem is that other nations are producing nukes.

Re:What are the questions? (4, Funny)

treeves (963993) | about 9 months ago | (#46117195)

example
1. When should you launch a missile?
a. Whenever you feel like it.
b. Now.
c. Never.
d. When your commanding officer tells you to launch.
e. None of the above.

2. Who can authorize a strategic launch?
a. Anyone.
b. The mailman.
c. County sheriff's deputies.
d. The POTUS
e. The tooth fairy.

 

Re:What are the questions? (1)

C18H27NO3 (1282172) | about 9 months ago | (#46117207)

How To Turn A Key 101. In seriousness I was wondering the same thing.

WOPR (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116829)

Time to take humans out of the equation.

Re:WOPR (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117015)

Exterminate all humans. Equation solved.

No real surprise (5, Insightful)

capedgirardeau (531367) | about 9 months ago | (#46116847)

No surprise to me.

It is a terrible, mind numbingly boring job that is essentially a career killer in the Air Force. Not to mention the fact that the likelihood of them actually having to do what they train for is very low and if they do have to do what they trained for it basically means they are helping end life on this planet as we know it.

I completely understand why they would not be motivated to excel on the exams and/or might smoke a little grass.

I wonder what their Russian counterparts' moral is like.

Re:No real surprise (3, Interesting)

AHuxley (892839) | about 9 months ago | (#46116895)

Re I wonder what their Russian counterparts' moral is like.
Depends on their tasks but from been surrounded with known issues like on other parts of the Russian mil:
I would guess very creative and never a slow day.
List of Russian military accidents http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L... [wikipedia.org]
"A nuclear submarine had its electricity cut by an electricity company at a naval base due to unpaid bills. The submarine's cooling system ceased to function and the reactor "came close to meltdown""

Re:No real surprise (1)

Shavano (2541114) | about 9 months ago | (#46117285)

WTF? How does a nuclear sub need electric service?

Re:No real surprise (-1)

rolfwind (528248) | about 9 months ago | (#46116897)

For the money we pay them, I don't want to understand. I expect professionals.

Re:No real surprise (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116945)

I expect professionals.

Mid-level officers don't exactly get paid big bucks, you know.

I don't want to understand

How very American of you. Clearly we should all be proud of having you as a fellow citizen.

Re:No real surprise (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117071)

Mid-level officers don't exactly get paid big bucks, you know.

And the person you pay to do your taxes for you probably makes a whole lot less. That still wouldn't be an excuse for him/her to take some shortcuts.

Re:No real surprise (1)

Derling Whirvish (636322) | about 9 months ago | (#46116941)

"Career killer"? In what world is life as a Air Force officer and eventual retirement as an O-5 or above while still in your early 40s (late 30s even) not considered a successful career?

Re:No real surprise (5, Funny)

Sarten-X (1102295) | about 9 months ago | (#46117031)

<voice style="male movietrailer stereotypical">

In a world where there's more to life than a title and pay grade, where people want to have an interesting job doing more than endlessly waiting for an order - an order they hope will never come - one man must decide, between his honor, and his sanity.

<video src="MilitaryCadets.webm"></video>

<video src="StressfulExam.webm"></video>

<video src="ImpliedCheating.webm"></video>

This summer, the biggest threat to a nation... ...is its own bureaucracy.

<video src="BaseFlyover.webm"></video>

Coming July 4th to a theater of war near you.

<video src="MissileSiloOpening.webm"></video>

</voice>

Re:No real surprise (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117067)

"or above" is the problem.

Each branch of the military has its own preferred roles, where officers who fill these roles are more likely to get promoted to command rank. Some of these are combat commands - all of the services are more likely to promote officers with combat experience. Even aside from that, though, certain roles are more likely to make an officer seem "appropriate" for promotion to flag rank later in life. Commanding a tank battalion is much more prestigious than commanding the 374th Integrated Supply Depot. The captain of an aircraft carrier is more likely to be promoted to admiral than the captain of a destroyer. Flying fighter jets is more likely to get you promoted than flying close air support aircraft.

And so the missile guys get the extremely short end of that stick. It's a non-piloting command in the Air Force, in charge of the leftover remnants of a mission the Air Force took on because when it did, it envisioned lots of bombers with lots of pilots and not a few silos out in the middle of nowhere. It's a job with no transferable experience - training to launch a nuke doesn't train you to do anything else, and it's not really possible to cross-train because the Air Force keeps the rest of its facilities the hell away from nuke silos (because hey, targets). Commanding a bunch of missile nannies is objectively unlike any other task in the air force; an officer with that command on their resume is probably worse off than if they'd spent the time off-duty fighting disease or on sabbatical. Not because it's not possible for such an officer to be a good one, but in competition for limited slots as colonels and generals, you can't afford to have a few dead years watching the grass grow on your resume.

Re: No real surprise (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117291)

So, they had to cheat on the exam because they had TOO MUCH free time at their boring jobs?

Mistake. (2)

Firethorn (177587) | about 9 months ago | (#46117341)

'Career Killer' in the sense that they aren't retiring as an O-5, they're retiring as an O-4 if they're lucky, probably 'let go' after 10 years as an O-3.

To be a USAF officer you have to have your Bachelour's. That translates to most officers being at least 22. 42 is their earliest retirement age, 'Late 30's' would be for an enlisted member. An officer retiring that way would have to be an 'OE', or an enlisted member who went officer. They tend not to get stuck in capsules.

Re:No real surprise (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116953)

On the plus side, they might get to see some giant scorpions.

Re:No real surprise (0)

DerekLyons (302214) | about 9 months ago | (#46117167)

Yet somehow the SSBN force manages to avoid this crap... Time to relieve the USAF of this duty.

Re:No real surprise (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117245)

If they weren't "motivated to excel on the exams," why have half of them been implicated for cheating on those same exams?

Here's some uncomfortable facts for you to deal with; you created the weapons that could "end life on this planet as we know it," and in charge of those weapons you put cheats, liars and frauds. People who are more interested in their own careers and their exam averages than the inhuman power that they wield. People who are so mind-numbingly corrupt that they have no place in the armed forces, much less at the controls of a system capable of destroying the planet. The income tax that is carved out of your paycheck helped pay for those weapons, they help pay the salaries of the incompetent twats in charge of them. Probably helped pay for the "little grass" they smoked, too.

Just plug your ears, keep yelling "my vote still matters" at the top of your lungs. It doesn't matter how many "whistleblowers" there are if nobody is listening for the fucking whistle.

Re:No real surprise (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117253)

"I wonder what their Russian counterparts' moral is like."

Anti-gay, so I hear.

Or did you mean morale? :-P

Shows Something About the Exams (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116853)

But no one is going to pay attention to that nonsense. They are all cheating bastards who deserve to have their certification revoked.

Rather than maybe rethink your exam strategy. Also, don't blame soldiers for being loyals to their comrads. Unit solidarity is far more important than whatever exams you are running.

Re:Shows Something About the Exams (1)

Shavano (2541114) | about 9 months ago | (#46117301)

Adherence to military discipline ranks higher than that, or it should among men trusted to operate the most dangerous weapons on the planet.

Showing that they have been well trained (2)

stox (131684) | about 9 months ago | (#46116863)

in our school systems.

Quick logic quiz (-1)

girlintraining (1395911) | about 9 months ago | (#46116883)

The military will deny that the misconduct in any way affected the ability of the military to maintain or operate the missiles.
Thus...
Why are officers having to cheat on an exam if it's already been demonstrated they are competent?
Conclusion:
The tests were probably irrelevant and/or too difficult relative to the task they were assigned. In other words, the test was defective, not the soldiers.

Re:Quick logic quiz (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117093)

I thought you were going to go with:
If the misconduct (cheating on periodic qualification exams and smoking pot) did not in any way affect the ability of the military to maintain or operate the missiles, why are the exams given and why is smoking pot an offense?

Re:Quick logic quiz (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117305)

I now understand why you are girlintraining.

Were they forced to cheat? (1)

EmperorOfCanada (1332175) | about 9 months ago | (#46116887)

It strikes me as odd that this many people would go bad. Maybe the tests were a joke they were so hard so everybody just winked and cheated; otherwise the place might have been empty with a bunch of people "failing" for no good reason.

A good example of this is apparently in China nearly everyone bribes to get a driver's license. The test is pretty much impossible. I read that some people try to take it as a challenge. For example some of the questions on the test have exactly opposite correct answers to what is essentially the same question.

The problem is that once you make it impossible to pass, forcing them to cheat, then people might not study the material at all; the result being that the people end up knowing even less than if they were just offered an easier test.

Re:Were they forced to cheat? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116985)

From TFA:

Beyond a lack of integrity and poor judgment among airmen, she has also blamed the decision to cheat on a test-driven culture within the nuclear force, which must consistently score a passing grade of at least 90 percent correct on exams.

And you can pretty much bet these weren't multiple choice.

Still got nukes (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116911)

How does America convince others to give up their nuclear weapons yet keep their own?

Re:Still got nukes (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116987)

At gunpoint, the same way Americans do everything. Hell, if you don't mow your lawn in America, the guys with guns come to your house to force you to do it.

Re:Still got nukes (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116991)

The same way we do everything else: by force. Our government sees itself as the masters of the world, unfortunately. Don't agree to their terms? They'll bomb your country. Don't want to provide them with cheap products? They'll hack into your corporate networks, steal plans, and hand it over to American companies (for which their cousin/nephew/whatever works). Don't want to provide them with a constant stream of where you are and what you're doing at all times? Too bad, that wasn't an option.

I am deeply ashamed at how our government is behaving yet still tries to hold up the illusion of democracy.

Re:Still got nukes (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117125)

Then stop whining on slashdot and fucking do something.
Or be a useless bystander and bitch. Your call, loser.

Re:Still got nukes (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117171)

Don't forget to write-in your vote for Barack Obama for President in 2016. If you write-in for Obama, he can't lose! No, wait, that doesn't work, unless everyone agrees to cooperate. Damn, everyone is a useless bystander in a democracy, bitch.

Re:Still got nukes (1)

artor3 (1344997) | about 9 months ago | (#46117329)

Oh get off it.

The US government has nukes because it started building a stockpile before the world came together to make a non-proliferation pact. It has been reducing its stockpile steadily. Meanwhile, it tells other countries that they can't have nukes because they signed an agreement saying that they would not have nukes.

And that's a good thing. The survival of human civilization is more important than your kindergarten sense of fairness.

Re:Still got nukes (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117001)

Mod down?
Trod on someone's toes apparently.

might get mine shot off in return.

Re:Still got nukes (1)

WindBourne (631190) | about 9 months ago | (#46117313)

how are we trying to convince others to give up their nukes while we keep our own?
O is trying to Russia to work on a new start treaty, but with China as part of it. So far, putin and China are fighting against that.
But, I can not think of where else we are trying to get nations to give up their nukes.

Well now (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46116921)

that the world knows the sad state of American military readiness, the barbarians can invade.

When TAC ate SAC, such was predicted... (1)

couchslug (175151) | about 9 months ago | (#46116931)

SAC was famous for tight discipline and esprit de corps. When TAC ate SAC, many SAC folks we'd inherited predicted slack standards and the end of the highly disciplined SAC culture. Years of fuckups proved their point.

Some jobs require performance of a very high standard. Go old-school and crush the cheaters in an exemplary manner. Do what Curtis LeMay would do to shitbags and replace the lot.

Re:When TAC ate SAC, such was predicted... (1)

pla (258480) | about 9 months ago | (#46117057)

Some jobs require performance of a very high standard.

This ain't one of 'em. "Wait in a bunker for three days at a time, for an order that will never come". Woo-hoo, now that right there takes some serious best-of-the-bestness!


Go old-school and crush the cheaters in an exemplary manner.

Meh. Cheating to a get a job that anyone with an ounce of motivation would do their damnedest to avoid? Let 'em have it, keep them out of better jobs, and get rid of the stupid test. Anyone that wants to spend 20 years in a bunker sleeping in shifts deserves what they get.

Re:When TAC ate SAC, such was predicted... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117089)

And you're a symptom of exactly why this country has gone to shit,
"meh" indeed.

Re:When TAC ate SAC, such was predicted... (4, Insightful)

WindBourne (631190) | about 9 months ago | (#46117355)

hmmmm. I do not think that you understand what the job is. These men are ran through drills where all of the sounds, and feelings would be the REAL thing. IOW, for their drills, they really believe that they are going through the real thing. That is harsh. It causes these men/women to have some hard strains on them. And being locked up when your family is suffering, is even harder.
My sister was in the hospital with a 106 fever when the cuban missle crisis started. So, he had to sit on a runway for 3 days, with a nuke about 20' away from him, ready to fly to USSR and drop it, while he had absolutely NO idea of how his daughter was doing in the hospital. It was not until the stand down that he found out that she was alive. That is a hard thing to do.

Re:When TAC ate SAC, such was predicted... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117077)

Amen! And yet the pentagon is looking for "cultural factors" to explain the cheating. God, I fucking hate the politically correct pieces of shit in power now.
These are fucking nukes.

Re:When TAC ate SAC, such was predicted... (1)

WindBourne (631190) | about 9 months ago | (#46117325)

what is sad, is that the USAF has not decided to reverse poppa Bush's mistake. SAC really is needed.

Where was the NSA? (4, Insightful)

MasseKid (1294554) | about 9 months ago | (#46116999)

So the NSA, for all of it's intrusion into privacy to protect us all, could not find 93 co-conspirators who had access to nuclear weapons, how on earth can we expect them to find a small terrorist cell? What the hell are we trading our liberties, privacy, and freedom for if they can't even uncover something as large as this?

Re:Where was the NSA? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117065)

well i guess the information on the cheating wasn't in the metadata now was it? Maybe the intrusion into our "privacy" isn't as vast as most on here would like to believe.

Re:Where was the NSA? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117197)

Yes, too bad that "S" stands for shithead and not silo.

If you have to take a test to insert a key and turn it then maybe it is time for them to start hiring from the regular high school students instead of the special ed ones.

zenelssyank was here

That's very disciplined of them... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117013)

Yet another "Patriot Act". Perhaps they should run for congress or sell insurance or join the ATF or Border Patrol after they retire. Clearly they are qualified for corporate life, as well. This is the example our leadership has demonstrated, and rewarded, with perverse incentives in the 'stacked' meritocracy of politics in government. This is an indictment of our shabby ethics all over the place. Its not just these guys, its the entire culture -

I can understand (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117021)

When girls unzip my pants, their eyes go wide at the sight of my atomic cock, it's an ICBM (Inter Cuntinental Balltastic Meatmissile) aimed right for their mouths, pussies, and anuses and all their holes drool at the sight.

Re:I can understand (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117105)

So you like the girls with anal leakage then?

Cheating in schools too (1)

HalAtWork (926717) | about 9 months ago | (#46117041)

With all of the organized cheating that happens in american schools too (and to move up the ranks in out businesses), I'm not surprised. Cheating is as american as apple pie.

Re:Cheating in schools too (1)

fluffy99 (870997) | about 9 months ago | (#46117099)

With all of the organized cheating that happens in american schools too (and to move up the ranks in out businesses), I'm not surprised. Cheating is as american as apple pie.

That's probably the best comparison so far. With No-Child-Left-Behind (aka - no kids gets ahead), the schools had financial incentive to pass kids who would not have otherwise passed and teachers were directly penalized for failing kids. The predictable result was teachers helping kids cheat on the tests and fudging scores. In this case, the wing commander knew cheating was rampant but didn't intervene because they didn't want the wing to look bad.

What's next, the fact that the answers to the Postal exam are available on the internet?

Dr. Strangelove (1)

linuxwrangler (582055) | about 9 months ago | (#46117053)

Nothing to worry about. It's just a 50th Anniversary tribute to Dr. Strangelove.
http://www.newyorker.com/onlin... [newyorker.com]
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00... [imdb.com]

Re:Dr. Strangelove (1)

guttentag (313541) | about 9 months ago | (#46117163)

Nothing to worry about. It's just a 50th Anniversary tribute to Dr. Strangelove.

Interesting sentiment, considering things got to a point in Dr. Strangelove where soldiers breaking the law was the only hope for saving the world:

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Colonel... that Coca-Cola machine. I want you to shoot the lock off it. There may be some change in there.
Colonel "Bat" Guano: That's private property.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Colonel! Can you possibly imagine what is going to happen to you, your frame, outlook, way of life, and everything, when they learn that you have obstructed a telephone call to the President of the United States? Can you imagine? Shoot it off! Shoot! With a gun! That's what the bullets are for, you twit!
Colonel "Bat" Guano: Okay. I'm gonna get your money for ya. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's gonna happen to you?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: What?
Colonel "Bat" Guano: You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.

Perhaps encouraging these officers to come up with outside the box solutions is a good idea. Not that it worked in the movie, but they need to be prepared to piss on a spark plug if they think it will do any good.

LOCK DOWN (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117063)

1) Issue a LOCK DOWN order on all facilities and personnel regardless of rank.

2) Issue a TOP SECRET REFF broadcast to all units in CONTERMINOUS US, EUROPE AND ASIA force structures, and communication to the President, "Mr. President. The Chain of Command Has Been Compromised. I am on ny AUTHORITY issuing order to KILL on sight any senior commissioned officer at once. WE WILL PRUGE all higher commanders and staffs at once. WE HAVE SECURED LAUNCH CODES to an UNDISCLOSED LOCATION. However, UPON PROVOCATION we WILL LAUNCH to counter Washington (I.E. YOU) AND ANNIHILATE Compromised President. Actions In Progress. GOD SPEED.

Here we go. }:-)

Re:LOCK DOWN (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117129)

Cheating is unAmerican so all dem cheaters must be Terrrorrrrrists!!! We have prison camps for terrrorrosists!! with torture! and pie.

Time to put away the toys (1)

confused one (671304) | about 9 months ago | (#46117081)

OK, if the children can't take care of their toys it's time to put them away. I say (not that I have any say in the matter) we have a chat with the Russians and agree to get rid of an additional 450 deployed launchers each, and reducing the warhead count. Call it New START II. We can then turn the 450 boosters over to Orbital Sciences to use for space launch missions.

Get out the couch beds... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117111)

That's a lot of pissed off wives. ;-)

Testing... (1)

eyepeepackets (33477) | about 9 months ago | (#46117127)

I can do this:

Marijuana - check
Cocaine - check
LSD - check
Peyote - check
Mushrooms - check
Strawberry Daqarita - check
Ayn Rand Looney time - check

Do I pass?

What does it even mean (1)

treeves (963993) | about 9 months ago | (#46117145)

How can part of a missile cheat at anything? And what does "half a wing" mean? Aren't the fins on the missiles one-piece?

Re-assigned (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117183)

FTFA:

But she also said all 92 implicated officers had been decertified and pulled from their missile duties.

Why the hell aren't they all being dishonourably discharged and even court-martialed?

Given that they have a systematic problem wrt a non-professional culture, it seems to me they should make an example of these cheaters.

Their job may be boring but the consequences of mistakes could not be higher. They absolutely must do it exactly right, all of the time. If willfully subverting the checks that are supposed to ensure competence only gets them re-assigned, then there is little hope they will maintain the appropriate professionalism in their day-to-day tasks.

Don't let Iran have nukes though (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117223)

They, like, can't be trusted. That was an answer in my test I had to cheat on.

Take the men out of the loop (1)

Joe_Dragon (2206452) | about 9 months ago | (#46117233)

will keep control at the top where it belongs

Re:Take the men out of the loop (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117279)

Michelle?

No surprise that drug users are cheaters. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117257)

People who don't care about their health, or the law, certainly don't care about taking a test properly. Glad the military is looking for worthless trash trying to infiltrate their ranks and kick them out.

Re:No surprise that drug users are cheaters. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117303)

The military recruits worthless trash drug users because no one else will volunteer. If you kick the trash out of the military, you're just begging to be drafted.

Guess Whose Name We Found (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 9 months ago | (#46117317)

Ah the internet.

So connected.

So rich.

So depth fulled and as close as a iPad.

Seems we found docs with the name of the "new to be" NSA Director in the "cheating" tables of major docs.

Whimper whimper.

New NSA Director is Still Born and not even twitching a toe.

Poor poor pitiful him. So much he wanted to see. But so blind as can be. Poor poor pitiful him.

Ha ah

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