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NASA Knows How Mars Got a Jelly Doughnut

timothy posted about 7 months ago | from the elvis-is-alive-and-well-and-living-on-mars dept.

Mars 61

The Associated Press reports that the mysterious "jelly doughnut" shaped rock spotted by the Opportunity rover on Mars wasn't put there by aliens or by mysterious forces of Mars weather. Instead, the NASA has a simple explanation: one of the rover's larger wheels "broke it off a larger rock and then kicked it into the field of view." Of course, they would say that just to head off a lawsuit demanding an investigation into the real reasons.

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Where are the cops? (4, Funny)

the_B0fh (208483) | about 7 months ago | (#46253023)

Donuts without cops? No way!

Re:Where are the cops? (4, Funny)

icebike (68054) | about 7 months ago | (#46253141)

Actually better coverage is at http://www.theregister.co.uk/2... [theregister.co.uk]

Where they have all the Pictures, and the foot prints of the cops involved.

Aliens (1)

mrops (927562) | about 7 months ago | (#46254633)

Actually, if its the rover, then its definitely the Aliens who put it there.

Re:Where are the cops? (2)

michelcolman (1208008) | about 7 months ago | (#46254011)

Nasa found cops on Mars. Still no sign of intelligent life, though.

MARS IS A COP !! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46253025)

Because cops like donuts !!

Amazing what all of the Republicans... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46253033)

are coming-up with. Considering their religion says aliens don't exist, why are so many of those people claiming they do and that they constructed this rock? They already proved themselves liars with the huge number of them that claim to have been abducted by aliens. Those people are nuts, and it is sickening how they try to make everything about politics.

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (3)

khallow (566160) | about 7 months ago | (#46253063)

So you have any other protips on how we can politicize a rock on Mars?

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (1)

cold fjord (826450) | about 7 months ago | (#46254059)

I wouldn't worry about him too much, he is obviously a second rate hack. A true pro would have blamed Bush for the rock.

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (1)

AK Marc (707885) | about 7 months ago | (#46255449)

Bush was just continuing Clinton's policies.

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46256275)

Obama inherited the rock.

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (1)

AK Marc (707885) | about 7 months ago | (#46258811)

Politicians and their non sequiturs. What's Dwayne Johnson have to do with this?

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46253065)

Different people believe different things. Don't generalize so much.

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (4, Insightful)

93 Escort Wagon (326346) | about 7 months ago | (#46253073)

I'm offended by your overgeneralization. Sometimes different people believe the same thing.

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46253079)

it is sickening how they try to make everything about politics

pot calling the kettle black much?

dipshit

Re: Amazing what all of the Republicans... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46253151)

But you are a nigger.

re: republicans (2)

Riceballsan (816702) | about 7 months ago | (#46253155)

people subject to views outside of logic, may switch between them at random. Also very few if any religions explicitly say anything against life on other plannets, if christianity is what we are talking about, it says nothing to oppose life on other plannets, it simply never mentions the concept at all. Just as it never mentions kangaroos, koala bears or the american continent. If a spacecraft were to land on earth, the only thing christians would see different is in spite of us being clearly technologically inferior to them, christians would still hold to the idea that humans are made in the image of god, and thus the aliens must have been created by god to serve us in some way.

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46253529)

Almost as amazing as adding a hyphen to create a bizarre compound noun like "coming-up", when all you wanted was a perfectly fine phrasal verb like "coming up". Weird. Seems that grammar goes through fashions: apostrophe pluralizing, then it's "women" for the singular, the always popular it's to mean its, the rare "definatly" or "defiantly", and now this. I'm even starting to miss "rediculous" and "irregardless".

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (1)

Dcnjoe60 (682885) | about 7 months ago | (#46254033)

are coming-up with. Considering their religion says aliens don't exist, why are so many of those people claiming they do and that they constructed this rock? They already proved themselves liars with the huge number of them that claim to have been abducted by aliens. Those people are nuts, and it is sickening how they try to make everything about politics.

Religion makes no statement as to the existence of aliens or not. If you are talking about texts related to Jews, Christians and Muslims, their books are about the relationship between their God and humans. No more and no less.

As for them being nuts and trying to inject politics into everything -- you were the one who interjected politics and religion into an otherwise neutral subject.

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46254299)

Evidently, the concept of "trolling" is foreign to you. The last sentence was the give-away.

Your level of gullibility should be disturbing to you.

Re:Amazing what all of the Republicans... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46255817)

> Religion makes no statement as to the existence of aliens or not.

That's a load of crap. If that was true, then why do those people hate Star Trek so much? I just proved you a liar. You CONservtives are all alike with your constant lies.

> into an otherwise neutral subject.

With how much those people ate science, no subject like this is neutral to those people. Of course you know that and are just trolling.

If it were Democrats (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46255061)

they would be blaming global warming for it, and prof that it has spread to Mars.

Relgion says what now? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46255673)

> Considering their religion says aliens don't exist,

Can you point me to the verse saying that? I haven't seen one.

What, a lead like that and... (4, Interesting)

rusty0101 (565565) | about 7 months ago | (#46253109)

...no one observes that the Jelly Doughnut rock on mars was where the complaints about Beta might have been thrown?

Republican Martians throwing them (1)

Tablizer (95088) | about 7 months ago | (#46253123)

"Get off my bedrock lawn, you stupid illegal alien robot!"

show the proof! (2)

jafac (1449) | about 7 months ago | (#46253209)

I think that's an extraordinary claim. Are there any photos showing this rock in the path of the rover before it clipped it? The unusual composition of this rock bears investigating, and suggests some other origin (like a meteor impact). Why is the composition inconsistent with other rocks? Because it's not from there.

Re:show the proof! (2)

meglon (1001833) | about 7 months ago | (#46253549)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/... [huffingtonpost.com]

Yes, i do find it sad to have to link a article with pictures because people have little common sense, and even less ability to use that google thing on that interweb of tubes.

Re:show the proof! (1)

LifesABeach (234436) | about 7 months ago | (#46254727)

How much would the rock have to weigh given the distance the rock was thrown? Also, there might be an image of before the rock was thrown. Knowing this would help with going over areas of questionable terrain. Going into "soft" areas will be problematic for the rover. Something for the next Mars Rover would be some way to "hover" over to the next spot. When the wind is favorable.

Re:show the proof! (1)

confused one (671304) | about 7 months ago | (#46254441)

I'll tell you what... If you don't believe it, go investigate it yourself. I'm sure NASA would be OK with you peer reviewing their findings in person.

In other news... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46253225)

"Scientists at the ISC were baffled by the sudden appearance of an organic, nitrous odor in one of the compartments. After weeks of researching the possible causes they finally solved the mystery - one of them had farted."

So in other words... (5, Insightful)

Al Al Cool J (234559) | about 7 months ago | (#46253245)

NASA are saying it is not a man-made object or the result of natural phenomena, but rather that it was put there by a probe from another planet!

dun dun dun

Re:So in other words... (1)

Sulphur (1548251) | about 7 months ago | (#46253937)

NASA are saying it is not a man-made object or the result of natural phenomena, but rather that it was put there by a probe from another planet!

dun dun dun

A listening device that destroyed the Martian Republic. It was politics that did them in.

Re:So in other words... (2)

TheGratefulNet (143330) | about 7 months ago | (#46254769)

jelly donut?

on the back was written:

"ich bin ein martian"

might take a while to translate that, though.

Of course they know ..... (2)

whoever57 (658626) | about 7 months ago | (#46253247)

The NSA has been tracking everyone's data, and especially things going on in foreign sand-filled landscapes.

What's that, the title was NASA knows, not NSA knows?

NASA Can Put This to Rest If They ... (1)

Wingsy (761354) | about 7 months ago | (#46253503)

Show the before & after pictures of where this rock came from.

Re:NASA Can Put This to Rest If They ... (1)

AK Marc (707885) | about 7 months ago | (#46255459)

They have, and it didn't matter.

And after an exhaustive investigation.... (1)

meglon (1001833) | about 7 months ago | (#46253533)

... NASA has determined that people working for the Journal of Cosmology have gone off their meds....again.

Legally mandated interplanetary exploration (1)

Ceriel Nosforit (682174) | about 7 months ago | (#46253623)

I hope the Judge orders and investigation.

Besides, I'm sure there's someone else we could sue out there.

Re:Legally mandated interplanetary exploration (2)

confused one (671304) | about 7 months ago | (#46254455)

I'd like to see the judge order an investigation as well. Having the judge order a manned mission to investigate the rock would be excellent.

You guys need to discover proper jam doughnuts (2)

jez9999 (618189) | about 7 months ago | (#46253655)

I tried a "jelly" doughnut when I was in America. Nowhere near as nice as jam ones in the UK. :-)

Learn to spell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46253675)

Donut, not doughnut.

Re:Learn to spell (0, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46253761)

Doughnut is the correct spelling. Donut is an idiotic American variant that most of the world doesn't recognise.

Re:Learn to spell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46254463)

Recognise is the idiotic British variant of the latin term recognoscere or from the french term reconnaistre. Stupid brit doesn't know that language evolves with time.

Re:Learn to spell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46257793)

Except most people in the world recognise the word "recognise" and proper English. Nobody recognises Latin as anything more than a long-dead, linguistic curio.

Stupid brit doesn't know that language evolves with time.

That sounds like something one would use as an excuse if they had poor grammar. Also, stupid American thinks that I'm British.

Re:Learn to spell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46260081)

British or not, we all think you are stupid.

Re:Learn to spell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46260125)

Love how your pee brain ignored the FRENCH spelling of the word that was changed for you idiotic English language. You must be special.

Re:Learn to spell (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46254469)

> "Doughnut is the correct spelling"

"Faggot" is the correct categorization for what you are. And by that, I am not calling you a cigarette, I am calling you a knob goblin.

Protip: There is often more than one correct spelling for a word.

Re:Learn to spell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46257769)

Protip: The American spelling is always wrong. The language is English, not American.

Re:Learn to spell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46260103)

You sound a bit retarded. I hope life isn't too hard for your simple mind to handle.

Re:Learn to spell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46264997)

Yes, being educated is retarded. Now go back to sleep, American drone.

Mystery solved! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46254083)

The Mars Rover has a jelly donut dispenser.

Common knowledge (1)

whizbang77045 (1342005) | about 7 months ago | (#46254131)

Everyone knows Mars is just the Venusian's Area 51. It's just a remnant of some secret high tech project.

Re:Common knowledge (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46255823)

No Earth is the Venusian Area 51, that's why we're here...

Nothing will convince conspiracy theorists. (3, Insightful)

Oligonicella (659917) | about 7 months ago | (#46254295)

They will never relinquish their paranoias, regardless of logic or evidence. It's in their nature.

Why hasn't someone... (1)

Coditor (2849497) | about 7 months ago | (#46254451)

like Duncan Donuts made a commercial about donuts on Mars? Such a great opportunity (yes that's a pun).

Re:Why hasn't someone... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46257303)

Because commercials have to be mass marketed. Most of the mouthbreathing public knows nothing about the news regarding Mars rovers, science, or space rocks.

why oh why (1)

djupedal (584558) | about 7 months ago | (#46254457)

Naming every 1" stone chip on Mars is going to take a long time. Of course that is one way to keep the funding going :)

More conspiracy theory innuendo. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46254609)

I tire of the conspiracy theory innuendo that Slashdot spews.

Yeah right.. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46256103)

sueing someone (nasa) who's job it is to spread dis-info about the origins of life and the true nature of reality is laughable

remember, the entire NASA organization at the highest levels are NAZI's and follow a NAZI ideology.

the dumb public laps it up retardedly, without ever understanding the true ramifications of Project Paperclip

so at this point, said retarded public will accept any horse shit NASA spouts without any questioning whatsoever

plenty of people have discredited nasa and have exposed the secret space program.

proof (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46256259)

This rock clearly proves the following:

Evolution cannot explain life
Global warming is a fiction created by a conspiracy of wealthy scientists
Obama is a Muslim Manchurian Candidate
An unregulated free market is the only valid economic system
The Gays are trying to indoctrinate our children
The moon landing was a hoax
Benghazi was a coverup
Vince Foster was murdered by Hilary Clinton
China is planning to invade the US
Fluoridated water is a communist plot
The Holocaust was trumped up by the Jews (who control the banking system)
Gun violence would end if every american owned and carried with them at all times a handgun
liberalism is identical to fascism and communism
The catholic church is the target of a smear campaign designed to blame it for misinterpreting jesus, instigating the inquisition, and turning a blind eye to hitler
aliens not only crashed at area 51, they are responsible for all those missing socks.

We know they lie as (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#46257355)

They have posted no pics of said hit by wheel rock.

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