×

Announcing: Slashdot Deals - Explore geek apps, games, gadgets and more. (what is this?)

Thank you!

We are sorry to see you leave - Beta is different and we value the time you took to try it out. Before you decide to go, please take a look at some value-adds for Beta and learn more about it. Thank you for reading Slashdot, and for making the site better!

Parenting Rewires the Male Brain

Soulskill posted about 7 months ago | from the swearing-circuits-rerouted-and-patience-circuits-bolstered dept.

Science 291

sciencehabit writes: "Cultures around the world have long assumed that women are hardwired to be mothers. But a new study (abstract) suggests that caring for children awakens a parenting network in the brain—even turning on some of the same circuits in men as it does in women. The research implies that the neural underpinnings of the so-called maternal instinct aren't unique to women, or activated solely by hormones, but can be developed by anyone who chooses to be a parent."

Sorry! There are no comments related to the filter you selected.

I believe it because.. (3, Insightful)

Dj Stingray (178766) | about 7 months ago | (#47105011)

I have been discriminated against a few times because I choose to be childless.

Re:I believe it because.. (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105123)

As a parent, I discriminate against the childless as I'm so jealous.

Oh, to not have three screaming children.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105139)

My girlfriend and I have chosen never to have children because it would interfere with our ability to travel. Children are for people who are content to stay in one place.

Re:I believe it because.. (3, Insightful)

hsmith (818216) | about 7 months ago | (#47105165)

Insane. We flew within 2 months of our daughter being born and will be taking her to Japan next year.

It is an excuse for the lazy.

Re:I believe it because.. (5, Funny)

davester666 (731373) | about 7 months ago | (#47105355)

So, you think it will take dumping her on an island thousands of miles away for her to not be able to find her way back home?

Re: I believe it because.. (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105369)

Why should anyone need a fucking "excuse" to not have little brats? I think it's more lazy to keep having kids than to take the measures not to. The majority of parents who have children do so because it's either expected of them or because THEY need to feel a certain way. NEWSFLASH, society already has plenty of kids, more than enough, in fact - too many. Screw the ozone layer and the environment, overpopulation is going to kill us long before any of that does. So take your self righteous bullshit that you use to cover up for your weakness in feeling the need to procreate, and let the rest of us who can fill our lives very well thank you without reproducing enjoy our choices in life. It's so much more selfish to think you are such a special snowflake that you need to pass on your seed than to recognize that you know what, I'm all set with that - I don't need kids to define my life.

Re: I believe it because.. (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105397)

Just think - if you parents had thought this way, then we'd have one less asshole in the world!

Re: I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105455)

The world needs more assholes who speak the truth than it needs yet more children that people have because they think they are so goddamned special their seed needs to carry on.

Re: I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105663)

And wouldn't that be a good thing? More would-be parents should think that way and not produce children.

Assholes who don't produce any children are less to blame for future assholes.

Re: I believe it because.. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105665)

Just think - perhaps, what you give your children on the way and what they utlimately have to endure due to your hypothetically self-centered, self-absorbed and in the worst case ignorant or indifferent decision, and what might become of these children when they realize what kind of choice spawned them into a place like this. Sometimes opinions are like assholes, there are many of them.

Re: I believe it because.. (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105689)

No need to excuse having or not having children.

As a father I found this sentence hilarious: " I think it's more lazy to keep having kids than to take the measures not to."

I guarantee the writen doesn't have childern :-D

It would be way easier to not have sex for the rest of my life than to take care of even one child. Not to speak of various measures you can take to have sex and still not have kids. They are the lazy mans option. If you want to think of having children through how lazy or not lazy it is. Which really makes absolutely no sense.

Re: I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105843)

That's just fine - you carry on believing that.
The rest of us will keep on breeding. As you are removing yourself from the genepool, your beliefs will die out with you.

Re: I believe it because.. (5, Insightful)

Mr.No (752782) | about 7 months ago | (#47106015)

That's just fine - you carry on believing that. The rest of us will keep on breeding. As you are removing yourself from the gene pool, your beliefs will die out with you.

Strange, I see idiots breeding like rabbits and expecting government/god to take care of the children as if they had a mission to carry on the human race while intelligent people choose to not breed because they have something between their two ears. Having children because we need them to pay for your pension is nothing short of Ponzi scheme, having above 25% unemployment among the young as in Spain, Italy just screws up these "we need more children to work and pay for retirement pensions".

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105375)

No, you misunderstand. *You* go on a two week vacation somewhere and call that "travel". We travel all across the globe to *live* months to a year each time, sometimes in areas that aren't close to "civilisation". You try moving your daughter away from her life and friends to a completely foreign place each year, which may or may not have a school or medical facilities or other children to play with. Or try taking her spelunking in Eastern Europe or scuba diving off of the coast of Honduras or on a hiking trip up Everest, then come back and tell me we're lazy.

That is not a good way to raise a child and it would be like dragging an anchor for us.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

aztracker1 (702135) | about 7 months ago | (#47105945)

There goes your ignorance... a healthy baby should float and wouldn't make a good anchor at all...

Seriously, an upbringing like that might get you a thoughtful, well adjusted child who is creative and adapts well. It also might teach you to be less of a selfish ass.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105985)

Eastern Europe isn't a desolate wasteland.

Re:I believe it because.. (2)

Opportunist (166417) | about 7 months ago | (#47105571)

So you are the couple with the screaming baby sitting somewhere near me on every flight...

Re:I believe it because.. (5, Insightful)

ShanghaiBill (739463) | about 7 months ago | (#47105187)

My girlfriend and I have chosen never to have children because it would interfere with our ability to travel.

Traveling with kids isn't that hard. You can get a backpack with a kid seat that will work till they are about five. When they are eight, they can walk fast enough to keep up. So that is only a three year window when they are too heavy to carry and too slow to walk. My daughter was born in California. My son was born in Shanghai. They have both been to five continents, and both speak three languages (English, Mandarin, and Spanish). When they grow up, they will have an international perspective, and can be a bridge between cultures. Kids will only hold you back if you use them as an excuse not to go.

Re: I believe it because.. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105379)

Man your kids sound like the type that are going to be really snotty and beat up at school. Oh wait, let me guess....you home school, right? ROFLMAO.

Re:I believe it because.. (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105409)

As a child who grew up in a similar fashion, living in multiple continents and always having to leave my life behind, I can say that is a double edged blade.

Re:I believe it because.. (1)

KingOfBLASH (620432) | about 7 months ago | (#47105425)

Any sort of life style for children is a double edged blade.

Socialize them well, and they may become more interested in friends than academics.

Encourage them to sit at home reading, and they'll be maladjusted socially (but smart).

Part of life is about learning to deal with your deficiencies, and play to your strength.

Re:I believe it because.. (2)

blackicye (760472) | about 7 months ago | (#47105453)

As a child who grew up in a similar fashion, living in multiple continents and always having to leave my life behind, I can say that is a double edged blade.

I'm going to have to agree with AC on this, having experienced a transient childhood I can also attest to it being double edged blade.

Re:I believe it because.. (2)

dotancohen (1015143) | about 7 months ago | (#47105445)

Traveling with kids isn't that hard. You can get a backpack with a kid seat that will work till they are about five. When they are eight, they can walk fast enough to keep up. So that is only a three year window when they are too heavy to carry and too slow to walk. My daughter was born in California. My son was born in Shanghai. They have both been to five continents, and both speak three languages (English, Mandarin, and Spanish). When they grow up, they will have an international perspective, and can be a bridge between cultures. Kids will only hold you back if you use them as an excuse not to go.

When you get to Israel contact me! My daughters have been on 9+ hour flights across oceans and have never been a problem on an airplane, car, boat, or train. I would love for them to meet your children and they have one language in common, though from experience children don't even need a single common language to play and make friends. Adults would do good to learn from them.

Re: I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105361)

Children are for people who want to see your ass taken care of when you are old, lonely, and helpless.

Re: I believe it because.. (1)

ShieldW0lf (601553) | about 7 months ago | (#47105377)

Hear, hear

I believe it because I had it, loved it, had it taken from me, long for it, hate the person I become without it, and wish I could wreck terrible vengeance on everyone who participates in the vile social system that thought it acceptable to take it from me.

I used to be such a nice guy to be around...

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105411)

You speak as if a travelling lifestyle is superior to staying in one place (which, by the way, isn't necessary when you have kids). Neither is superior to the other.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105427)

No, I speak as if a travelling lifestyle is superior *for us*. I can't see myself wanting to settle anywhere any time soon, if ever. I don't see the appeal in it.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105471)

What are you running away from?

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105483)

I don't know, maybe ignorant and uncultured people like you?

Why are you stagnating and afraid of change? There are too many places in the world for me to experience to waste years in any one.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105855)

I don't know, maybe arogant and unsecure people like you?
Why are you always on the move and afraid of stability? I found the place in the world for me to blossom, I do not to waste years running from place to place having a holier than you selfish travel orgy.

Goes both ways, you don't need to be insulting and frankly, I thank you for not returning your despicable genes to the gene pool ...

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47106077)

I don't know, maybe arogant and unsecure people like you?
Why are you always on the move and afraid of stability? I found the place in the world for me to blossom, I do not to waste years running from place to place having a holier than you selfish travel orgy.

Goes both ways, you don't need to be insulting and frankly, I thank you for not returning your despicable genes to the gene pool ...

How is he arrogant?

>No, I speak as if a travelling lifestyle is superior *FOR US*. I can't see myself wanting to settle anywhere any time soon, if ever. I don't see the appeal in it.

As in, you know, NOT saying that staying at home is inferior for everyone, just FOR THEM'? Reading comprehension, dude.

Though you do seem like one of those folks who detests everyone with different opinion, which is a problem cause you seem to do intend to procreate and let your particular strain of severe cave-dweller's attitude loose on the world. Not that the world needs any more of such... folks.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105829)

growing up?

Re: I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105481)

Just like many of us would have to be paid handsomely to even consider traveling to places like Honduras and Eastern Europe. It takes all types. I don't think it's so much the travel, though, but in general being able to make decisions for our lives that are best for us and not having to live life around raising children. Children have become a religion onto themselves the past few decades in the Western world. People need an excuse or something to cling to in order to feel fulfilled. Some of us can feel fulfilled on our own without children, and that makes the breeders both jealous and scared of us at the same time.

Re: I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105499)

Just like many of us would have to be paid handsomely to even consider traveling to places like Honduras and Eastern Europe.

One of the reasons I'm glad to have travelled to those places. I no longer have the prejudices about them that many of you do.

Re:I believe it because.. (1)

Jesrad (716567) | about 7 months ago | (#47105783)

Nonsense.

I took my son to his uncle's wedding four national borders and 4000 miles away when he was 15 months old, and that took no noticeable extra effort.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47106165)

My wife and me had our marriage while living in Singapore. Our first child was born in Australia and learned to walk while we lived in UAE. Our second kid was born in Norway and lived half her first year in a local normal flat in China. It is drawbacks, but a flexible life is possible.

Our kids are used to fishing in remote forest lakes, mountain trekking, expensive hotels, cheap apartments, chaotic streets, high end shopping malls, and so on.

Re:I believe it because.. (2)

dotancohen (1015143) | about 7 months ago | (#47105433)

As a parent, I discriminate against the childless as I'm so jealous.

Oh, to not have three screaming children.

As a parent, I absolutely love my two laughing children, and what I wouldn't do to have a third! (working on it)

Re:I believe it because.. (3, Insightful)

erroneus (253617) | about 7 months ago | (#47106095)

Your children are a reflection of yourself. If they are difficult, it's because you are difficult. It absolutely amazes me that people never quite get this. If you want to have good children, be a better person. Seriously.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105813)

The term is 'child free' is better.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47106043)

I prefer the term "alive". Kids?! Game over.

Re:I believe it because.. (1)

Mr.No (752782) | about 7 months ago | (#47105823)

I have been discriminated against a few times because I choose to be childless.

Completely agree with you. A male choosing to be childless is too often equated with being irresponsible which based on current cost of living and depleting resources should i fact be considered as very responsible.

Re:I believe it because.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47106135)

Let me tell you why and piss off some liberals at the same time.

Who is going to pay for the resources you will consume when you get old an need help? The government is not magic it's evil, it will use the future productivity of unborn children as collateral for borrowing to bribe the current population. Since you have no children you have no unborn for the government to sell into slavery.

This "annoys" people with children since if there child is going to be used as collateral for government borrowing so shall yours.

Finally found! (4, Funny)

Semyazas (3668399) | about 7 months ago | (#47105041)

This must be the process that makes it possible to see humor in dadjokes. Warrants funding research in that field.

So that's why... (-1, Troll)

eyepeepackets (33477) | about 7 months ago | (#47105067)

...my hot, young honey turned into a raggy, naggy, whiney stenchcow who dedicated her life to making me miserable? Well at least now I know -- thanks Science Guy!

Thank you, Captain Obvious (-1, Flamebait)

scottbomb (1290580) | about 7 months ago | (#47105075)

Now who are the fools who paid for this so desperately-needed research? Oh yeah. My own government. Once again.

Re:Thank you, Captain Obvious... Lessee... (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105155)

YOU Don't Understand why some particular $SCIENTIFIC_KNOWLEGE is of value...

therfore:

$THEY are "fools"

Yeah it does (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105083)

Turns men into pussies

Re:Yeah it does (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105693)

Or perhaps your father turned you into that what you are right now.

Childless (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105087)

Douchebags now have a reason they are what they are.

Not Even Possible (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105093)

Every Feminist knows that every man who isn't dead is a natural born killer who belongs on Death Row.

Re:Not Even Possible (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105311)

Not every man is a natural born killer, some are just rapists!

False assumptions (5, Insightful)

BitZtream (692029) | about 7 months ago | (#47105095)

One assumption of this study is that because homosexual men have a specific reaction in their brains, that all men have it. It ignores the possibility that homosexual men's brains are different from the start. It doesn't consider/ignores the fact that homosexual men are wired differently from the start which means they may have the same ability as women from the start as well. The wiring that makes a man homosexual may be the same wiring that makes them more nurturing/worrying/ect like mothers.

There isn't enough evidence to draw the conclusions they are drawing. This is a simple matter of someone deciding correlation is causation. It may be true, it may not, but this study is pretty inconclusive and jumps to conclusions that it shouldn't

I see nothing referencing heterosexual single fathers and how they compare/contrast to all this, which would be much more telling as far as the conclusions they've drawn.

Re:False assumptions (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105159)

Well, homosexual men are attracted to feces and men's bathroom holes, so I don't expect too much logic there.

Re: False assumptions (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105391)

At least they know the one thing that is in a "bathroom hole" and can easily smell if it's clean or not. Unlike that Sarlacc Pit known as a vagina, which at any given time can have a curdling mixture of blood, piss, yeast, and any number of bacteria all swimming around in one convenient spot. I'll take an ass any day over that cesspit. I make all my boys douche before I stick my cock up there anyway so it's always clean as a whistle, unlike an oozing vagina which you never know what's going to slurp out at any moment.

Re:False assumptions (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105737)

Aren't you all trapped in feces-producing vessels? Logic is at times a reasonable answer, isn't it? Homo sapiens sapiens, you're mostly tragic,

Explains Comedians. (1)

Kaenneth (82978) | about 7 months ago | (#47105105)

They always get less funny once they become parents.

Re:Explains Comedians. (1)

Travis Mansbridge (830557) | about 7 months ago | (#47105157)

Not Louie CK.

Re:Explains Comedians. (4, Funny)

narcc (412956) | about 7 months ago | (#47105261)

That's just because he couldn't get less funny.

Re:Explains Comedians. (3)

davester666 (731373) | about 7 months ago | (#47105359)

He CAN'T get less funny.

Re:Explains Comedians. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105163)

Of course it does! Most everyone that becomes a parent quickly figures out it is time to quit acting silly and get serious about making a living!

No more gaming, nights out with the boys, etc. You need to get a house, make payments on it, drive a sensible car, mow the yard, take out the trash, do your share of the cooking and cleaning, take care of the house repairs, etc, etc. ETC!

Now tell me, what you are laughing at? STOP LAUGHING, THIS ISN'T FUNNY!

Now excuse me, I need to try and sweet talk the wife into trying for another kid. Just trying though, don't want to get too serious. Want to try and poke a little fun back into things.

Activity Rewires the Human Brain (5, Insightful)

fractoid (1076465) | about 7 months ago | (#47105141)

Our brains learn things by "rewiring" themselves. Why should we be surprised that spending a large amount of time causes a detectable difference in the action of the brain? Implying that men don't have the neural circuitry required for parenting is as retarded as implying that women don't have the neural circuitry required for mathematics.

Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain (4, Insightful)

Belial6 (794905) | about 7 months ago | (#47105203)

Most people won't get it because we currently live in a time when it is heresy to say that men are better than women at anything, while it is also heresy to imply that women are not better than men at most things. We live in a misandrist society.

Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain (0, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105279)

Try mentioning that the Isla Vista killer, the psycho nice guy who "shot all those women" actually hated men equally as much as he hated women; he hated the more attractive men for taking what he considered rightfully his, and he hated the less attractive men because he thought himself a superior form of life. His first victims were his roommates who he called "the biggest nerds in the world" and thought they were "pathetic", but then he killed a jock because he was jealous of the guy's achievements.

In the end, he killed three men, two women, and himself. Everyone remembers that he shot two women, and feminists around are lauding it as proof that all men harbour fiery hate for women in their bellies, but either downplay or outright forget the men he killed.

The Isla Vista killer was just a narcissistic, hateful, insane misanthrope who believed he was entitled to the rockstar life of super-luxury for no effort and became enraged when it didn't mysteriously fall into his lap. He's not indicative of all men and it's disingenuous to say, or imply, otherwise.

The men he killed are just as dead and just as undeserving as the women.

Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105285)

Correction, he actually killed four men in total (three at his apartment, one at the deli) and then himself.

Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105403)

The three men at his apartment were Asians and in America Asian men are barely considered men at all. Are there ANY Asians in the NFL? Obviously Asians are not real men and not worth reporting about.

Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain (1)

antifoidulus (807088) | about 7 months ago | (#47105971)

Um, the guy was half-asian(His mother is of Chinese descent)

Re: Activity Rewires the Human Brain (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105423)

And you know what was most pathetic about the whole thing? That he was able to do so little damage with so much planning and effort. I mean, what a pathetic display that was. I'm very glad he was so inept so more lives were not lost, but reading the story I was amazed that he wasn't even very good at this. Wasn't a bad looking kid, though, I was surprised - he should have found one of those California daddies who would have supported him as long as he let them blow him regularly. Would have been win win for him, then he could have gone out and bought the pussy he desired.

Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain (1)

fractoid (1076465) | about 7 months ago | (#47105387)

Really? Wow. There's been a giant storm of angry feminist rants on Facebook about this and every single one has been all about "a group of men (on the internet)" that are allegedly supporting the psycho killer because "they think it's OK to threaten, intimidate and kill women."

Not one mention of any men being killed.

Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain (1)

phantomfive (622387) | about 7 months ago | (#47105357)

Our brains learn things by "rewiring" themselves.

And yet you will have plenty of people say that it is impossible to learn certain things if you don't have the DNA for it. People will probably reply to this comment with example to prove it.

Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain (4, Insightful)

cerberusss (660701) | about 7 months ago | (#47105395)

Implying that men don't have the neural circuitry required for parenting is as retarded as implying that women don't have the neural circuitry required for mathematics.

Heh that brings back memories, and not the good ones. I can't count the times the wife said something on the lines of: "I am the mother, so obviously I know best." The first half year after our baby girl was born, I had to really fight for my half of fatherhood.

Society nowadays expect you to do your half of the parenting, but when that time comes, your wife's instincts might take over and decide it would be much better if you just followed her orders.

Re:Activity Rewires the Human Brain (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47106129)

your wife's instincts might take over and decide it would be much better if you just followed her orders.

Ugh... I'm pretty sure she doesn't need there to be a child to order her husband around. It's kind of a thing in modern world - husband might be officially considered as the family's head, but wife's always the true leader. Unless something needing actual thought happens, and then husband's on the controls again. For that moment...

Men truly are pussified by their wives.

I don't doubt it. (4, Insightful)

Sasayaki (1096761) | about 7 months ago | (#47105181)

A few years ago, my ex had a miscarriage at three months. By that point I was already accepting that there was going to be a kid and planning accordingly (adding another room to the house, telling friends and co-workers, etc). We dated for five years and the stress that caused ended an already fragile relationship.

Since then, I've noticed a distinct change in my personality. It's subtle and hard to quantify in absolute terms, but it's definitely there and I'm not the only one who noticed. I'm a lot less interested in women than I was before. I'm a lot more interested in stability, especially financial, and I'm finding myself doting on my cat a lot more (she's the bestest). While I'm still in many ways "an overgrown college kid" I've noticed that I'm also assuming a lot more responsibilities with my life, especially cleaning, cooking, and being a lot more timely and responsible* in my behaviour.

It's hard to assign causation to something like this -- I'm nearly 30 now. Did I just get older and is that adequate enough to explain it? Was it because I was exposed to a lot of new things, such as The Atheist Experience which I started watching just after the breakup? Or maybe it was just a change in the social and political climate locally, here in Australia? Or possibly the change in friend circles (I moved across the country afterward) that did it? I lost a lot of weight, maybe that's it too? Or the change in career (IT to full time writer)?

It's hard to pin down, but something changed and although a lot of factors I can think of were environmental I'd find it quite plausible that there is a distinct bio-chemical trigger at play here too. Probably 75% environmental, 25% chemical?

The whole thing is very interesting at any rate.

*I bought a Pikachu onesie a week ago so maybe not too responsible.

Re:I don't doubt it. (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105413)

It's called getting older. Happened to the best of us, no kids involved.

Re:I don't doubt it. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105447)

My experience with my wife has been different than your experience after what you went through. After she was diagnosed with cancer and beat it, she has finally learnt to let bullshit things go. Don't get me wrong. She is still obsessive about vacuuming our German Shepherd's hair any chance she gets, but she is a new person. She doesn't bitch any more. None. Zilch. It's sad that she it took a catastrophe for her to realize that life should be fun and that it's not worth losing your sanity or hair over. My observation has been confirmed by her, but I am not sure whether it's due to the cancer, or the fact that her ovaries were removed and that the hormonal change is what's the cause.

I hate to say it, but life for all of us, including our grown children, changed for the better after what she went through. I can't imaging anything happening to her and would have gladly gave my own to save hers if I could.

Re:I don't doubt it. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105537)

I took care of a girl and her kids for several years and was reasonably responsible during that time helping to keep a clean house and enjoying looking after the kids and helping them with homework and stuff, I even dressed more adult. At the end of that I was sort of a mess for awhile but was still taking care of things in ways I don't now and in the years since then I've regressed back into an apathetic overgrown kid with no ambition or responsibilities.

When we dated I wondered when she was going to grow up and start becoming dependable, after visiting recently it's obvious she's grown or at least stayed the same while I have very much changed. I also think it's weird how much I couldn't give a rip about anything and don't care if the bills are paid, dishes are done, I'm successful with an upper middle class income but.. I hardly care if I have a roof over my head as long as there is cold beer available. You wouldn't think someone like that would turn into a good father figure but I was once, happy to dedicate most of my time to family or pursuits intended to better provide for them, it made me wonder what was going on with guys who seemed a little more with it than me in their single lives and are crap fathers.

Re:I don't doubt it. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105837)

I can tell you what is happening. You had a purpose in your life other than yourself. I'm pretty sure you are a resourcefull person and you think that whatever happens you can always pul lthrough. It's just that there is no reason or purpose to really do anything, because you don't HAVE to do anything but the bare minimum to waltz through life. You are having a first world disease. Life is too easy, you have no meaning for it. Kids and family gave you a purpose. You were something.

Re:I don't doubt it. (3)

jelizondo (183861) | about 7 months ago | (#47105639)

You had me until the cat part.

Everyone knows that a good parent would choose a dog!

Kidding aside, it does change you. I was fooled into being in the OR for the birth of my third offspring (a girl) and that changed me in ways I can't begin to describe: from a typical antisocial nerd, interested only in the latest techno-toy into a real person.

She'll be 21 next week and has been living with me for the last 12 years, after her mom and I divorced, and still think of her as my greatest achievement.

She is smart and iron-willed, so I have not really enjoyed being a single parent dealing with a difficult child, but at this time, I would not change one bit of the story.

YMMV and all that, but being a parent really makes a wonderful difference in your life.

Re:I don't doubt it. (3, Informative)

TheLink (130905) | about 7 months ago | (#47105721)

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09... [nytimes.com]

Here, we use a large representative study in the Philippines (n = 624) to show that among single nonfathers at baseline (2005) (21.5 ± 0.3 y), men with high waking T were more likely to become partnered fathers by the time of follow-up 4.5 y later (P < 0.05). Men who became partnered fathers then experienced large declines in waking (median: â'26%) and evening (median: â'34%) T, which were significantly greater than declines in single nonfathers (P < 0.001). Consistent with the hypothesis that child interaction suppresses T, fathers reporting 3 h or more of daily childcare had lower T at follow-up compared with fathers not involved in care (P < 0.05).

http://www.pnas.org/content/10... [pnas.org]

I don't doubt it. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105785)

The simple answer is that you grew older and matured like most people do when they exit their twenties.

Re:I don't doubt it. (1)

lisaparratt (752068) | about 7 months ago | (#47106057)

Pretty sure all of those are classical symptoms of depression.

as a scientist... (0)

Kevin King (3668455) | about 7 months ago | (#47105193)

There is so much wrong with these claims.

I call BS (-1, Troll)

Neo-Rio-101 (700494) | about 7 months ago | (#47105251)

As far as I can tell, the male brain is not wired for looking after a child. It's only wired to have sex with as many women as possible.
Trouble for women is that raising a child typically required male support (getting food mainly), but aside from that he was pretty much useless.
Women didn't even want men raising the children, lest they are not trained by men to look after women as a matter of priority

To that end, the concept of "love" and a "relationship" evolved whereby the woman attempts to get a man to "fall in love" so that he stops whatever he is supposed to be doing to support her. Problem is, this eventually makes the man unhappy (he's supposed to be spreading the seed), and the woman only needs to man for financial support. She doesn't *really* love him.

These days with a growing government socialist support network, the role of the male provider is being replaced by the state, divorce is on the rise, and so are the number of single mothers.

Re:I call BS (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105301)

It's so wonderful you value your opinion more than evidence-based investigation. How special.

Here's something you should consider: maybe, just maybe, someone in the world can dive into an issue, draw a conclusion based on data, and disagree with you--yet they're right. How does that sit?

Re:I call BS (-1, Troll)

Neo-Rio-101 (700494) | about 7 months ago | (#47105337)

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to ... you know... feel superior on a message board and berate people for evidence, and then feel like an utter dick when someone produces it.

No, I'd never do it.... because you never know,.... they just might be able to produce it.

So perhaps then, I'd consider that the best thing to do - if I felt that more evidence would be required - would be to politely ask for it. That way if they had it, I'd be able to learn more about it, and if not, I would have made my point.
If, however, I was to be a complete douchebag and be insulting, I'd be betting on them not having a repsonse BUT *if it just so happened* that they could produce evidence.... you'd look like an utter asshole. So really there'd be nothing for you to gain from being a dick, and only self-respect to lose.

Nope. Not a smart move.

http://www.oocities.org/protop... [oocities.org]

Re:I call BS (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105381)

Uh, you seem to not realize we are talking about scientific evidence not just same wacky misogynistic screed written by a PUA creep.

Try not to shoot up any colleges, ok buddy.

Re:I call BS (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105641)

1. criticism of feminism and those who spread propaganda is not misogyny.
2. MRA != PUA pussy beggars
3. There have yet to be any MRAs involved in violence like this. However, there are plenty of instances of feminists being violent and aggressive (eg university of toronto) towards men.

Re:I call BS (1)

lisaparratt (752068) | about 7 months ago | (#47106069)

No True Not All Men?

Re:I call BS (1)

Neo-Rio-101 (700494) | about 7 months ago | (#47105733)

Jeebus... I try and have an opposing view and suddenly I have the white-knight brigade out in force.

Way to go "democracy"... let's just slam the other person with another point of view, rather than explain the counter-argument

Re:I call BS (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105405)

As far as I can tell,...

Your range is clearly severely limited. This may change if you ever become an adult.

Re:I call BS (1)

Neo-Rio-101 (700494) | about 7 months ago | (#47105749)

That's what your wife tells you when she wants you to fix the fence and get off your computer.
"Grow up and be an adult!"
Does it get the correct pavlov dog reaction?

Its protection from extinction (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105283)

If parents were not rewired to care for their spawn, they'd just eat their young...or use them as fertilizer.

The mutant teen gene can devour an adult alive, so its best to negotiate their release into the wild before they destroy any hope for your surrender to a glimpse of serenity or even a little boredom now and then.

Suddenly the Thanatos seems a welcome notion once you can extract the parasites from the host wallet and car keys. Too bad that libido had you fooled long enough to spew the infectious malignancy. We're just biological slaves to hormonal catalysts and cataclysmic degradation of personal goals or self interest.

Sounds convincing, good thing I am an uncle, with limited liability dna by proxy.

'stay-at-home-dad' schlock (0, Troll)

epyT-R (613989) | about 7 months ago | (#47105615)

This is just more schlock choose-your-facts 'science' to drive home the 'stay-at-home-dad' shit that feminists are pushing on men as well as to normalize same sex parents. Whether you think this is good or bad, it's pretty clear this article's language is ideologically charged. My issue is the politicization of science. It's no better than creationists cherry picking from biology, geology, and anthropology to lend false credence to their bible babble.

"But it's clear that we're all born with the circuitry to help us be sensitive caregivers, and the network can be turned up through parenting."

Because after all, that's what we're all (especially men) 'supposed' to be, right? All communal and caring 24/7? Yuck.

Re:'stay-at-home-dad' schlock (2)

Neo-Rio-101 (700494) | about 7 months ago | (#47105831)

Men have traditionally wanted to have their own children, and ensure that they were their own. There is some "selfish gene" biology going on here, as well as something more tangible. During the transition to hunting-gathering society to farming based, a man needed extra workers on the farm. To that end he needed to be sure that the children were his, and in order to do that he invented marriage and "chastity" and "virginity" for women to ensure that he got his bit out of the deal when he took possession of them. The honey "moon" so called because a month away on holiday away from any other people would ensure that pregnancy with that woman would happen (as she gets estrus once a month)). As is the plan with marriage, even traditionally.

Of course, virginity, woman-ownership, etc. were necessary because women aren't instinctively monogamous either.

If anyone reading thinks I'm talking nonsense, let's hear your theory....

Re:'stay-at-home-dad' schlock (2, Interesting)

antifoidulus (807088) | about 7 months ago | (#47105961)

Well to be sure accumulation of assets was a big deal, but there are people who posit other, not necessarily mutually exclusive, reasons that farming societies invented the concept of chastity outside of marriage. One compelling argument is that they used it as a form of birth control.

From what evidence we have we can see that starvation was relatively rare in hunter-gather societies, but it was really common in farming communities, especially when there were more mouths to feed than the land could support. The lords needed some way to make sure that the population couldn't rise above what the land was able to support, so they used marriage, especially church-sanctioned marriage, as a way to control the peasant population. According to Dr. Wyman only 40% of people in medieval Europe were married [yale.edu] (Sorry for the zip, lecture #9 is the one that lists this info if you are interested, fascinating course overall). The landlords simply controlled the church who in turn controlled marriage. Civilizations have been using marriage, and the taboos of sex outside marriage, to control population for eons.

Re:'stay-at-home-dad' schlock (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47106021)

... were necessary because women aren't instinctively monogamous either.

True, but not the whole story. Men spend a lot more time collecting wealth. They then consume that wealth getting sex. It's telling that feminism hasn't made this chore equal and I think it is because men aren't able to price their sexuality like women do. Part of the price of sex is of course pregnancy and babies. The mother and baby must depend on the wealth of a man for survival.

If women have the wealth then virginity, monogamy and fatherhood are not valuable. With women exerting their energy on protecting their wealth, child-care will naturally fall to the men. Since monogamy will not exist, child-care becomes more of a communal chore; provided by say, her brothers.

Re:'stay-at-home-dad' schlock (1)

thatkid_2002 (1529917) | about 7 months ago | (#47106081)

Each to his own. It seems you "choose not to be" a father and thus the effects described don't apply or make sense to you. I have seen the changes described in this article myself and it only confirms what I have seen. I don't think the stay-at-home-dad thing is a bad thing or even being forced upon men in general - hell I hear more men arguing *for* the right to be a stay-at-home-dad than against it. I think you're seeing ideologically charged language where there is none; perhaps the mention of a same-sex couple or the mention that the effect is triggered differently in women has skewed your opinion.

Just to be clear, I am certainly not a feminist. I'm not narrow minded enough for that. I'm an egalitarian.

(clearly my opinion)

And Now To Rewire the Brain For Gay Sex! (1, Flamebait)

Baldrson (78598) | about 7 months ago | (#47105631)

Oh wait, that can't happen because men who go to prison and start engaging in homosexual activity are clearly doing so because they were simply sexually repressed homosexuals before being liberated by prison life [majorityrights.com] .

Re:And Now To Rewire the Brain For Gay Sex! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 7 months ago | (#47105745)

Had to sign a waiver absolving wardens and the prison of any responsibility for my being potentially raped upon "admittance" to prison. I'm sorry, I wasn't allowed not to sign that. I either starved, pissed and shat myself and died in that chair in front of that form, or I signed it and lived to get fucked another day.

The world is a disgusting place. Private industry should not be involved in government or punishment. If rape is rampant in your "Rehabilitation", then you need to have a revolution.

Please tell this to the family courts (4, Insightful)

Alain Williams (2972) | about 7 months ago | (#47106025)

who persistently find in favour of the woman, ignoring the benefits that a father can bring to children: if mother does not want her ex-partner around the courts do little to help dad remain in the kids lives. She can break court orders with little penalty while dad is faced with huge legal bills and delays. The courts pretend to act in the best interests of the children - but really they are prejudiced in favour of mothers.

Re:Please tell this to the family courts (1)

erroneus (253617) | about 7 months ago | (#47106151)

I actually think fathers are more important than mothers after about 5-6 years old. What makes a person good and functional in society is based in no small part to life lessons and examples of respect and self-discipline. People who go through life doing what feels good never seem to make it very far in life. This isn't something commonly taught or exemplified by women. But if you want to see what's wrong with society, try looking at it through the lens of needing more respect and self-discipline.

Love and respect are two very different things. Love is how one person feels about another. Respect is how one person treats others and the world and is a reflection of that person's character and who and what they are as people.

Load More Comments
Slashdot Login

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?