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The FBI's Jargon List: Internet Acronyms Galore

timothy posted about 3 months ago | from the summer-internship dept.

Government 124

Jason Koebler (3528235) writes Internet slang: Do you use it? If so, do it AYOR (at your own risk), because the FBI knows exactly what you're saying thanks to the agency's insane list of "Twitter shorthand." Rather than just rely on Urban Dictionary or a Google search, the agency has compiled an 83 page list of more than 2,800 acronyms. The FBI responded to a FOIA request with one of the most illegible scans of a document you'll ever see, embedded on a CD — so maybe the agency isn't all that up on its technology, or maybe it's just doing its best to KTAS (keep this a secret). Please use one of your favorites in a grammatical sentence referencing current events, and/or your favorite food, to help build up the corpus.

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BFF (4, Funny)

skgrey (1412883) | about 3 months ago | (#47254973)

According to the list, one of the translations of BFF is Big Fat Friend. Stephen Lynch would be proud.

Re:BFF (2)

MRe_nl (306212) | about 3 months ago | (#47257255)

But they seem to have missed CYA's secondary usage for Cake,Yellow, Atomic.

Re:BFF (1)

frisket (149522) | about 3 months ago | (#47259155)

And please feel free to add any useful ones to our Acronym Database [silmaril.ie] .

lol (1)

OrugTor (1114089) | about 3 months ago | (#47254979)

f!

AYBABTU (1)

DrPeper (249585) | about 3 months ago | (#47254999)

So basically the FBI is saying AYBABTU (All Your Base Are Belong To Us)?

Re:AYBABTU (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255149)

yah.. guess we are gonners?

MTAE (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255339)

Most Transparent Administration Evah!!!

Re:MTAE (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47259383)

ITYM MTAE

Re:AYBABTU (1)

Z00L00K (682162) | about 3 months ago | (#47255713)

Which now caused me to get a 10-100.

Urban Dictionary (1)

barlevg (2111272) | about 3 months ago | (#47255001)

is my go-to source for internet shorthand. Any reason the FBI's too good to just use that?

Re:Urban Dictionary (5, Funny)

NotQuiteReal (608241) | about 3 months ago | (#47255015)

They are not allowed to use the Internet. It is not secure.

Re:Urban Dictionary (5, Informative)

rubycodez (864176) | about 3 months ago | (#47255037)

the Urban Dictionary says FBI can mean "Fucking Bunch of Idiots"

Re:Urban Dictionary (1)

dowens81625 (2500160) | about 3 months ago | (#47257629)

BFAE

Best Fucking Acronym Ever

Re:Urban Dictionary (2)

AthanasiusKircher (1333179) | about 3 months ago | (#47255051)

is my go-to source for internet shorthand. Any reason the FBI's too good to just use that?

Urban dictionary is edited by volunteers, and there are no real guidelines for entries. So, I suppose it could infiltrated by terrorists, who pose as submitters and editors to hide the true meaning of some internet abbreviations they are using to communicate about their next attack...??

(I'm being sarcastic here, but unfortunately knowing the U.S. government and current paranoia levels, this probably isn't far from their logic.)

Re:Urban Dictionary (1)

rtb61 (674572) | about 3 months ago | (#47260719)

Well that in and unto itself is arbitrary, as internet shorthand is group or association specific, so terrorist speak, will be differnet to teenage girl talk.

A more clear example LOL
Laugh Out Loud
reÃr en voz alta
laut lachen
mort de rire
ridete alta voce

Clearly makes no sense in other languages.

Just as a large exhaustive list makes no sense as many association, social group or language specifc and only a very few, will spread wider, LOL might well be one that does spread wider but then again we do not all even share the same text. This kind of thinking leads to abusive arrests http://www.theregister.co.uk/2... [theregister.co.uk] and the douchebads will never admit fault for fear of civil suit, just a big ole fuck you to justice and the victim.

Re:Urban Dictionary (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255091)

They probably did use Urban Dictionary, but wanted to compile everything they found in a central, easily referenced place.

Re:Urban Dictionary (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47258257)

They probably did use Urban Dictionary, but wanted to compile everything they found in a central, easily referenced place.

I am shocked there are only 2 800 shorthand entries considering the widespread use of social media. Maybe the FBI provided a single volume from their encyclopaedic set.

Re:Urban Dictionary (4, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255095)

One reason is for long-term retention of data. They might store case files for 20+ years before someone sees them again, at which point the detective working the case might not know what all of the acronyms mean. I mean, it was one thing for the 70s to use words like groovy or tubular in common vernacular, but today's kids are using acronyms up the wazoo. It's only natural that some with become popular and just as quickly fade into obscurity.

However, if their database is wrong(translating BFF to Big Fat Friend for example), then it's kind of moot anyway. I mean, we would hope a detective wouldn't be standing there exclaiming "What the fuck does WTF mean!?" but that too is entirely possible if WTF goes away in a few years. But there are certainly more obscure acronyms and slang being used on the internet.

That said, their *source* for these kinds of definitions should be places like urban dictionary(especially urban dictionary!), because their entire purpose is to define commonly used terms you won't find in a standard dictionary.

Re:Urban Dictionary (2)

Culture20 (968837) | about 3 months ago | (#47255367)

One reason is for long-term retention of data. They might store case files for 20+ years before someone sees them again, at which point the detective working the case might not know what all of the acronyms mean. I mean, it was one thing for the 70s to use words like groovy or tubular in common vernacular, but today's kids are using acronyms up the wazoo. It's only natural that some with become popular and just as quickly fade into obscurity.

Reading old comics from the 60's, I caught on to most of the lingo slinging, but the word "Natch" confused me until just last year when I realized it was short for "naturally". And "hip" young characters like Johnny Storm or Spider-Man used to say "natch" a lot.

Re:Urban Dictionary (1)

cdrudge (68377) | about 3 months ago | (#47255445)

Even with a dictionary meanings can change over decades of time. "I'm having a gay time smoking a fag" means something entirely different now then what it did 4 or 5 decades ago.

Re:Urban Dictionary (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255827)

Nope. Words can have multiple meanings, and while most people would interpret that sentence in a certain way, the old meanings do not become 'incorrect.'

Re:Urban Dictionary (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255901)

Aw, geeze, not another one of you "there are no wrong answers" people. Now go and collect your Slashdot participation trophy and trot back to your den of humanities, please.

Re:Urban Dictionary (1)

drakaan (688386) | about 3 months ago | (#47256193)

Not for nothin', but 4 or 5 decades ago was the 60's or 70's...9 or 10 decades ago, maybe?

Re:Urban Dictionary (1)

JTsyo (1338447) | about 3 months ago | (#47256237)

What did smoking use to mean?

Re:Urban Dictionary (1)

kwbauer (1677400) | about 3 months ago | (#47259993)

It has been used to mean kill or seriously injure or defeat in a big way.

Re:Urban Dictionary (1)

PhilHibbs (4537) | about 3 months ago | (#47260939)

In the context of "smoking a fag", if you take "fag" to mean "homosexual person", then "smoking" might mean "setting fire to" or "shooting". As in, "let's go smoke some gooks", as you might hear in a Vietnam movie.

Re:Urban Dictionary (1)

mythosaz (572040) | about 3 months ago | (#47255721)

However, if their database is wrong(translating BFF to Big Fat Friend for example), then it's kind of moot anyway.

Now it's just a question if Moot is in there.

Re:Urban Dictionary (1)

weszz (710261) | about 3 months ago | (#47255883)

you may be surprised... I found FML reading Sammy the Seal to my kids.

Printed back in the 60s, the page is that Sammy wishes he could spell, and has the blocks XFML in front of him. I thought it was incredibly funny, but couldn't tell my girls why... (too young for that kinda stuff)

Re:Urban Dictionary (1)

NotSanguine (1917456) | about 3 months ago | (#47256205)

>

However, if their database is wrong(translating BFF to Big Fat Friend for example), then it's kind of moot anyway. I mean, we would hope a detective wouldn't be standing there exclaiming "What the fuck does WTF mean!?" but that too is entirely possible if WTF goes away in a few years.

An interesting point. I was having a conversation with a neighbor yesterday about how, when I was younger, the acronym 'FTW' emphatically did not mean "For The Win." Rather it meant either "Fight The Whites" or "Fuck The World." So it seems that not only can these acronyms fade away, they can be used to give contradictory meanings as well.

Also, I was interested to note that It's no longer VD (Venereal Disease) or even STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease), but DRD (Dennis Rodman Disease). I'm sure Dennis really appreciates that.

They come by it naturally.... (2)

ColdWetDog (752185) | about 3 months ago | (#47255019)

I grew up with this this list [nasa.gov] . It used to be on paper. That was kinda funny.

I'm sure every TLA or FLA in the US has a similar LOA.

Re:They come by it naturally.... (1)

sconeu (64226) | about 3 months ago | (#47255741)

That list is missing "TLA".

Re:They come by it naturally.... (3, Funny)

hubie (108345) | about 3 months ago | (#47255955)

It's part of Gödel's incompleteness theorem: for any list of acronyms, there will always be acronyms that are true, but that are unlisted wthin the list.

Re:They come by it naturally.... (1)

sconeu (64226) | about 3 months ago | (#47257615)

Welll played, hubie. Well played indeed.

Re:They come by it naturally.... (1)

spikedvodka (188722) | about 3 months ago | (#47257105)

Don't forget my favorite... the ETLA (Extended TLA)

Re:They come by it naturally.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47257153)

The best part? There really is a secret agency known as the TLA.

Not from the FBI (1)

mrex (25183) | about 3 months ago | (#47255021)

The document says it's something to help you "keep tabs on their children and grandchildren". Something tells me that this isn't actually used by the FBI.

Re:Not from the FBI (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255053)

'children' is a shorthand for US Citizens.

Re:Not from the FBI (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255143)

Maybe not this exact list, but I'm sure the FBI has something similar somewhere in its storage. It'll be useful 20 years from now when no one knows what all these damn acronyms and vulgar slang terms mean.

At the very least, I wouldn't be surprised if they had a script that scraped urban dictionary and acronym aggregation sites periodically and simply stores the raw text and then compresses it. The amount of data in that kind of storage would be minimal and would only need to be gathered about once a year.

Different rules I see (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255025)

"The FBI responded to a FOIA request with one of the most illegible scans of a document you'll ever see" is A-OK, but when Lavabit used a very small font they got sanctioned

TL;DR (3, Informative)

dragon-file (2241656) | about 3 months ago | (#47255069)

IMHO the article was TL;DR and IANAL so TINLA but OMFG. AFAIK the FBI CRAT. Hence they made a BFDB so they could tell their employees to RTFM.

Re:TL;DR (1)

Megane (129182) | about 3 months ago | (#47255383)

Or maybe YHBT. HAND. HTH.

Re:TL;DR (1)

s.petry (762400) | about 3 months ago | (#47255459)

The shitty scan would prevent you from reading most of it anyway, which is bizarre in itself. Did the FBI give them a CD full of shitty scan data with poor resolution images so it can't scale? Trying to download the content I hit a auth wall requiring a ScribeD account.. I could probably find a different method of access, but it's not worth the effort for something trivial like this.

Personally outside of the fact that the FBI actually answered a FOIA request I don't see this as "News" and especially not "News worthy". If they would have answered a question about the government harassment of Senator Jon DeCamp I'd be impressed.

Re:TL;DR (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47256055)

You get a shitty scan because when the request comes in, someone gets stuck with scanning an 83 page paper. That job goes to the lowly student intern. My guess is the scan quality of the first pages are probably much better than the last pages because it is a boring, tedious, and thankless job to get stuck with.

I don't know why you're suprised that they answered a FOIA request. All the big agencies have offices set up specifically for this purpose. They have to respond to the requests (you might get your request denied, but someone still had to look into it).

Re:TL;DR (4, Insightful)

TheCarp (96830) | about 3 months ago | (#47257437)

> You get a shitty scan because when the request comes in, someone gets stuck with scanning an 83 page paper.

A paper which, if you look really close, says on it the words "this sharepoint"..... so they actually had to produce an 83 page paper before scanning it.... rather than using the "print to a file" function which, would produce an easily legible document.

Nope....this excuse doesn't even hold a little bit of water.

Re:TL;DR (1)

PhilHibbs (4537) | about 3 months ago | (#47260953)

Scroll down to TTYM.

Re:TL;DR (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47266357)

Your optimism about the document handling practices of large organizations (Private, govt, or otherwise) is as cute as it is naive.

I WISH creating a word doc, putting it in share point, printing it, copying it, then scanning it badly in to a "paperless" document handling system, then later exporing it back out as a PDF was the worst offense you'd see.

It's not. It's not by a long shot. This is actually relatively clean.

I've seen some shit.

Shit that would make you weep for humanity. (And all the trees and man-hours wasted)

Re:TL;DR (1)

cyberchondriac (456626) | about 3 months ago | (#47255487)

you lost me on BFDB.. Big F'n Deal B ...? I got the rest.

Re:TL;DR (1)

dragon-file (2241656) | about 3 months ago | (#47255749)

BFDB = Big fucking database.

Re:TL;DR (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255769)

I'm going with Big F'n Database

Re:TL;DR (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255773)

Big fucking database. CRAT = ??? "can ride a train"?

Re:TL;DR (1)

cyberchondriac (456626) | about 3 months ago | (#47255895)

Can't Remember A Thing, I believe

Re:TL;DR (1)

dragon-file (2241656) | about 3 months ago | (#47257013)

Spot on

Re:TL;DR (1)

plover (150551) | about 3 months ago | (#47258799)

That's a common ailment, known around here as 'CRS Syndrome'. As in Can't Remember Shit.

MWATTIAA (1)

Shark (78448) | about 3 months ago | (#47256451)

(My Whole Answer To That Is An Acronym)

FU FBI (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255085)

YSD

Hey FBI..you can (1)

rullywowr (1831632) | about 3 months ago | (#47255093)

GFY

Re:Hey FBI..you can (1)

Orestesx (629343) | about 3 months ago | (#47256177)

What's funny is that GFY in the document is actually defined as "Good for you."

Re:Hey FBI..you can (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47256727)

DIAF

The FBI can EKTE my FIENSA and BODPEOW (1)

cellocgw (617879) | about 3 months ago | (#47255097)

Let them try to figure those abbreviations out!

(and yes, for you OCD-ers I made them up out of nothing).

BTW, Does anyone use TTFN any more? that one far predates things like internets and even chatrooms.

Re:The FBI can EKTE my FIENSA and BODPEOW (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255683)

Yep! TTFN

Re:The FBI can EKTE my FIENSA and BODPEOW (1)

sconeu (64226) | about 3 months ago | (#47255807)

Only when I'm bouncing around somewhere....

FBI = STASI. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255121)

The FBI is not your friend.

The FBI is the tool government and big business uses to make sure it remains
in power.

I had a good friend who was an FBI agent for a few decades. He told me that most
crimes are solved by the FBI due to someone snitching. He also told me that the FBI
was behind the assassination of Martin Luther King. I believe both the preceding claims
are true. Like I said, the FBI is not your friend.

.

Re:FBI = STASI. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255171)

Cool story, bro.

FBI = STASI. (1)

Aqualung812 (959532) | about 3 months ago | (#47255327)

Yet, you call this man a good friend, even though he supported an agency that you compare to the STASI?

Re:FBI = STASI. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47256235)

Yet, you call this man a good friend, even though he supported an agency that you compare to the STASI?

I became friends with the guy _after_ he had left the feebs for good.

People can do bad things until they see the light and then they can change
their ways and act like a decent human being from that time on. This is what
happened with my buddy and why we became friends.

No man is purely good or purely evil. We are all a mix of good and bad. Yes,
my friend once worked for an agency I know to be evil, but his past mistakes
do not define him for the rest of his life. A man should be judged by how he behaves
in the present, not how he behaved many years earlier before he reached a higher level
of wisdom.

.

Re:FBI = STASI. (1)

TheCarp (96830) | about 3 months ago | (#47257503)

> People can do bad things until they see the light and then they can change
>their ways and act like a decent human being from that time on. This is what
> happened with my buddy and why we became friends.

This is true, I met a guy at a party who told me how he used to be a cop, and stopped because he realized how wrong it was "When I realized I lost count of the number of times I ruined someone's life for something I personally have done many times over, I couldn't do it anymore" is what he told me.

Re:FBI = STASI. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47257679)

Even Hitler?

Re:FBI = STASI. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255371)

He also told me that the FBI
was behind the assassination of Martin Luther King.

[Citation Needed [xkcd.com] ]

Real language is becoming PERL. (2)

DrPeper (249585) | about 3 months ago | (#47255201)

Ever notice (with all the acronyms) how much language is looking more and more like PERL?

Re:Real language is becoming PERL. (2)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255257)

Depends on what you consider real language.

Most illegible document? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255215)

Almost as bad as the 9/11 report.

PG-13 (4, Informative)

CanHasDIY (1672858) | about 3 months ago | (#47255221)

Ha, it's not even a complete list, everything is "matured-down" to kiddy levels!

For example, I was looking to see if DILLIGAF (Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck), but instead found DILLIGAD (Do I look like I give a darn).

Yea, it really says, "darn."

WTFIWWYM (What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Morons)?

Re:PG-13 (1)

Ozrius (1225368) | about 3 months ago | (#47255379)

Is JEOMK even on the list?

Re:PG-13 (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47256051)

Well, WYSIWYG. If there isn't a DILLIGAF entry, then they are boned.

Re:PG-13 (1)

Cro Magnon (467622) | about 3 months ago | (#47256223)

Well, once I was thinking "WTF", but decided that wouldn't go over well with my audience (GF and her underage niece), so said "WTH" instead. Though I'm pretty sure the niece knew what I really meant.

Re:PG-13 (1)

david_thornley (598059) | about 3 months ago | (#47264687)

One of my favorite all-time April Fool's websites was when The Daily WTF changed to The Daily WTH (the H of course being Heck). They said they were looking for a softer, more family-friendly image. It took me aback for a few seconds before I remembered the date.

Re:PG-13 (1)

Trepidity (597) | about 3 months ago | (#47258105)

WTFIWWYM (What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Morons)?

ACAB

Ya, well.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255225)

AJGOENPOJSPONANWROP!

Re:Ya, well.. (1)

Z00L00K (682162) | about 3 months ago | (#47255785)

Now - where did I put my Enigma.
I just have to figure out which wheels and start code though.

Re:Ya, well.. (1)

Opportunist (166417) | about 3 months ago | (#47256145)

WHAT?

My mother was a saint!

Acronyms? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255255)

How did the FBI get my list of recently used passwords??

HOH! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255269)

HOH = Hi / Oi / Hola.. I'm trying to make it catchy on multiplayer games... but ain't happened... :....(

Hah! I speak a secret language! (4, Funny)

stevegee58 (1179505) | about 3 months ago | (#47255311)

They'll never catch me then. I speak a secret language called "Syntactically Correct American English", an archaic language no one understands any more.

Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! (1)

sexconker (1179573) | about 3 months ago | (#47255815)

They'll never catch me then.

When will they never catch you? Are you referring to a period of time which you experience repeatedly, such that "they" will never catch you during that time? Are you traveling back to 1987 and committing crimes? Are you referring to your toilet in a hardened bunker and the fact that they'll never catch you when you're defecating? Or did you mean to type "They'll never catch me, then."?

I speak a secret language called "Syntactically Correct American English", an archaic language no one understands any more.

Ignoring the jokes about it being a secret language (your post renders it a formerly-secret language) and no one understanding it (clearly a few do, though you do not), you committed a few errors in that sentence as well. You should have typed "I speak a secret language called "Syntactically-Correct American English", an archaic language which no one understands any longer.".

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that everything in this post is syntactically correct, and that the language itself is not unambiguous.

Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! (1)

dnavid (2842431) | about 3 months ago | (#47258233)

They'll never catch me then.

When will they never catch you? Are you referring to a period of time which you experience repeatedly, such that "they" will never catch you during that time? Are you traveling back to 1987 and committing crimes? Are you referring to your toilet in a hardened bunker and the fact that they'll never catch you when you're defecating? Or did you mean to type "They'll never catch me, then."?

I speak a secret language called "Syntactically Correct American English", an archaic language no one understands any more.

Ignoring the jokes about it being a secret language (your post renders it a formerly-secret language) and no one understanding it (clearly a few do, though you do not), you committed a few errors in that sentence as well. You should have typed "I speak a secret language called "Syntactically-Correct American English", an archaic language which no one understands any longer.".

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that everything in this post is syntactically correct, and that the language itself is not unambiguous.

Actually, no it is not.

Syntactically correct American English places the comma inside the quote, and single quotes within double quotes: "I speak a secret language called 'Syntactically-Correct American English,' an archaic language which no one understands any longer." British English places the comma outside the quote. Furthermore, the double period is incorrect in either version of English as is the use of double quotes within double quotes.

Second, semantically speaking its more proper to use "that" over "which" since the word references an syntactic object intended to be distinguished from other similar items: "I speak a secret language called 'Syntactically-Correct American English,' an archaic language that no one understands any longer."

Third, its worth noting that "I speak a secret language called 'Syntactically-Correct American English,' an archaic language that no one understands any longer" is written English, not spoken English, and therefore when the original sentence I speak a secret language called "Syntactically Correct American English", an archaic language no one understands any more is spoken, its essentially indistinguishable from syntactically correct American English.

There are few things goofier than grammatically incorrect grammar police.

Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! (1)

sexconker (1179573) | about 3 months ago | (#47258807)

You're wrong. You're following various "style guides". They are not authorities on the language, nor do their recommendations improve it in any objective way. Moving punctuation to the inside of a quotation is absurd - quotations are exact references and altering them defeats their entire purpose. Alternating between single and double quotation marks is altering the quotation, so it should not be done. It also does nothing to remove ambiguity, it just buries it one level deeper (or makes it worse in some cases). Not only can there be multiple levels of quotation, rendering your tactic pointless, the quotation itself can contain those symbols, causing your tactic to be harmful. Additionally, in most text the single quotation mark is visually similar, or even identical, to the apostrophe. If you actually want to remove ambiguity you have to use an escape character. English does not specify an escape character. When spoken, it becomes unwieldy after "he said she said" or the speaker's attempt to change introduce a third level of inflection to indicate different levels of quotation.

You're wrong about "that" versus "which". The word "which" is used when referring to a specific member of an established set. The word "that" would refer to the set. The language is a member of the set of archaic languages. The sentence "There are balls in the large boxes that have rough edges which are green." unambiguously means the balls are green, the boxes are large, and the boxes have rough edges. The sentence "There are balls in the large boxes that have rough edges that are green." means the boxes are large, the boxes have rough edges, and the rough edges are green. The phrase "that which is" should clue you in to how it works.

And you're wrong about whatever the fuck you're babbling about with regards to spoken. A language can be both spoken and written. You could dance it if you wanted to. It doesn't change the language when you're using the same grammar, syntax, and lexemes.

There's nothing more pathetic than someone trying and failing to police the grammar police. You may as well try to perform a citizen's arrest on a cop for speeding when chasing a criminal. Try harder next time, retard.

Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! (1)

dnavid (2842431) | about 3 months ago | (#47259553)

There's nothing more pathetic than someone trying and failing to police the grammar police.

Self-annihilating irony seems to contradict that statement.

Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47261123)

What you wrote is wrong. Syntax and style conventions are different things. The only thing that comes close to correctness is the "that vs. which" part.

Re:Hah! I speak a secret language! (1)

NotSanguine (1917456) | about 3 months ago | (#47256305)

They'll never catch me then. I speak a secret language called "Syntactically Correct American English", an archaic language no one understands any more.[Emphasis Added]

Are you referring to this [usatoday.com] guy?

I refuse (1)

93 Escort Wagon (326346) | about 3 months ago | (#47255317)

I prefer the current, genteel Internet - one where people are well-spoken and polite. I don't want it to become a cesspool of jargon and shorthand. Sure, you may think acronyms are harmless, but if they ever catch on... next thing you know, people will be putting numbers and symbols in place of letters, or even (God forbid) substituting one letter for another!

Re:I refuse (1)

Artifakt (700173) | about 3 months ago | (#47257403)

Thaank goodness for the Eternal August.

Wow...sharepoint....and yet they scanned it? (1)

TheCarp (96830) | about 3 months ago | (#47255347)

There is just NO EXCUSE for this. Someone else pointed out this is no better than the shit lavabit pulled with their font size. However, this is worked, a too small but legible font can be magnified and processed....an illegible document may as well not have been produced.

However, now that I see sharepoint....so sharepoint...they had this in electronic form and could have easily produced a perfectly legible document and chose not to.... nice guys....way to show you give a shit about compliance with the law you claim to uphold.

Re:Wow...sharepoint....and yet they scanned it? (1)

Megane (129182) | about 3 months ago | (#47255391)

But they would have had to give you their sharepoint password! After all, TANSTAAFL.

Re:Wow...sharepoint....and yet they scanned it? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255657)

Reminds me of where I work. Where we get a help desk ticket with no real info but it has a screen shot attached... A screen shot the user printed, faxed in, copied the TIF and pasted it into a Word doc.

Sigh.

Re:Wow...sharepoint....and yet they scanned it? (1)

jellomizer (103300) | about 3 months ago | (#47256759)

They went online got the data, printed it on a dot matrix printer, then scanned it with a cheap hand scanner, then posted it online.

Sounds like the government to me.

xkcd... (1)

Parker Lewis (999165) | about 3 months ago | (#47255377)

I'm really disappointed to enter the comments and see we're missing any xkcd mention. By the way, what does xkcd mean? :D

Re:xkcd... (1)

Opportunist (166417) | about 3 months ago | (#47256123)

Loosely it translates to "almost all sensible four letter domain names are taken or occupied by domain squatters".

Tried to read it (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255417)

*Couldn't* RAEBNC

                    mark

What about this? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255567)

8 5 2 3 4 9 e d e f d 2 5 a b 1 1 8 1 7 7 e 9 d 6 d 3 7 7 3 a c
6 3 9 b a e 9 a c 6 b 3 e 1 a 8 4 c e b b 7 b 4 0 3 2 9 7 b 7 9
1 8 2 1 8 1 3 9 e e c 5 5 d 8 3 c f 8 2 6 7 9 9 3 4 e 5 c d 7 5
c 7 5 6 1 d b 7 a 4 1 8 d d 3 9 b 2 2 0 1 d f e 1 1 0 a b 4 a 4
b 5 e d a 0 a 7 4 5 5 8 a 3 4 2 c f 6 5 9 1 8 7 f 0 6 f 7 4 6 f
9 e 9 2 5 e 9 3 4 1 b 4 9 0 b f d 3 b 4 c 4 c a 3 b 0 c 1 e f 2

"Filter error: That's an awful long string of letters there." comes up, so I will have to break that up.

Does it have this one? (1)

GameboyRMH (1153867) | about 3 months ago | (#47255581)

MUAACMU - Meaningless Unimportant Acronyms Anyone Could Make Up

LSHISNPOOMN (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255583)

-or-
Laughing So Hard I Shot Noodle Pudding Out Of My Nose

Oh really? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255619)

NP & HG!

A /. special and obscure for newbies

LOL translation (4, Funny)

shoppa (464619) | about 3 months ago | (#47255753)

According to the FBI list, preferred expansion of LOL is "Lots of Love". Example usage inside the FBI complex: Your co-workers father has passed after a long illness. Suggested text message: "Heard your dad died: LOL."

Re:LOL translation (1)

Ambient Sheep (458624) | about 3 months ago | (#47259199)

I wonder if that's why UK prime minister David Cameron used to think that [bbc.co.uk] LOL meant "Lots of Love"? Perhaps he'd been given a similar list by the UK spooks based on the US one?

Re:LOL translation (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47278409)

According to the FBI list, preferred expansion of LOL is "Lots of Love". Example usage inside the FBI complex:

Your co-workers father has passed after a long illness.

Suggested text message: "Heard your dad died: LOL."

Proper use of LOL is replying LOL to that post

OMG..... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255863)

lol

Excuse me, sir. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255937)

Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.

IAA (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47255953)

Initialisms ain't acronyms

Know that one too? (1)

Opportunist (166417) | about 3 months ago | (#47256139)

FUDS (Fuck you damn spooks)?

Gonna hear it a lot, might as well get used to it.

Learned that one from Microsoft? :-) (1)

K. S. Kyosuke (729550) | about 3 months ago | (#47256281)

I vaguely recall that years ago, Microsoft - could have been just an initiative of the local branch, though! - published a web page for parents along the lines of "how to recognize that your child is an online hacker" or something like that, starting with an advice to look for signs of "1337 sp34k" in their e-mails and texts, with a "helpful dictionary". It was full of genuine pearls like some of these. :-)

FLA?? (1)

codeman07 (1290782) | about 3 months ago | (#47256499)

....But!!! FLA (4 letter acronym) is only 3... :(

Do they realize that everyone is laughing... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47256617)

AT them?

Thanks for the leg work guys ! 3 (1)

Bitbyte (3688405) | about 3 months ago | (#47256779)

I like the use correct English all the time and always wonder what on earth half of the IRC channels are talking about. So I would like to say thanks FBI for the reference guide 3 saves me some leg work haha

Re:Thanks for the leg work guys ! 3 (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47260277)

what on earth half of the IRC channels are talking about.

According to the list linked in the summary, "IRC" is not a valid ackronym. I believe you meant "IRMC" (I Rest My Case).

corpus? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47257299)

I had to look that word up in the dictionary.

Oh yeah! (1)

Tablizer (95088) | about 3 months ago | (#47257349)

They can go VJS their KWPA until their steaming RLL drips burning BAML out of their rotting PYPN!

Sharepoint? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47258037)

Srsly? FBI are using Sharepoint? haha

I have just one thing to say (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47258063)

I have just one thing to say to the FBI here:

FOAD

BUFU (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47258255)

Buy Us Fuck You

Why post this on Scribd? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47258519)

Not only is ScribD not allowing one to actually download the files without paying, but it is also known to abuse Facebook API and create accounts for every friend of anyone logged in. Why support such a scummy and inconvenient service?

HS Batman! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47258525)

I wonder if the FBI chat-reading software lets an agent hover over an acronym to read what it means in a tool tip. Sure would beat 80 pages of hardcopy.

Tables turned on the FBI (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 months ago | (#47258673)

Didn't Lavabit's owner get held in contempt-of-court for doing this exact same thing to the FBI?

My most enthusiastic contrafibulations (1)

sandbagger (654585) | about 3 months ago | (#47259825)

I am anaspeptic, frasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombobulations.

Sad (1)

Draugo (1674528) | about 3 months ago | (#47260649)

I don't know which I find more hilariously sad. The fact that FBI refuses to comply with FOIA request by providing this shitty scan... or the fact that FBI feels the need to sensor the word fuck in their acronym list :)
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