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Professional Audio on Linux?

Cliff posted about 13 years ago | from the good-enough-to-make-music-with dept.

News 469

twilightzero asks: "Recently a friend of mine who is chief engineer at a medium size recording studio/radio station has become increasingly unhappy with Windows (and would like to stay away from Macs) and has asked me if there is any sort of professional audio solution for Linux. Has anybody, anywhere ever tried this? Is it possible to buy a pro audio card with Linux drivers and just run Sound Forge in WINE or do you need an entirely native package?" This is one of those questions that just needs to be answered. What Open Source sound packages out there are good enough for even the professionals to use when they need to make their squeaks, squeals, and whistles. Also, what can they use to put their created sounds together into some semblance of music?As an addendum, coasterfreak asks: "Being an avid Linux user and composer is a bit of a problem right now. I've never run across any decent music creation programs for Linux. I've used Finale and Cakewalk before, but have yet to see them for Linux. I've heard rumors of something coming from the Debain crew, but nothing more than rumors." Can anyone confirm or deny them?

Just as a bit of a helpful hint, how many of you have tried Audacity yet? It looks to be a fairly feature rich sound editor, and it supports mixing tracks, plugin sound effects, and is cross platform, to boot! Maybe this is a decent spring board for those of you looking to start experimenting with sound under Linux, but I'm not quite sure it's ready for professionals yet...this based on the version number of 0.97 rather than any actual experience, so I'd take the word of those who have said they have used it rather than mine. It would be great if Audacity is further along than it looks.

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Professional Homosexuality on Slashdot? (-1)

Trolligula (527461) | about 13 years ago | (#2436956)

Morpheus: What is homosexualality? How do you define faggot? If you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and ass-fuck, then homosexuality is simply electrical signals broadcast by Slashdot, and interpreted by your brain.

Re:Professional Homosexuality on Slashdot? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2436966)

I claim your post as my own you loser dick licker posting logged in. with this post i make you the receiver and me the giver.

AC forever beatchez!

Re:Professional Homosexuality on Slashdot? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2436983)

Damn dewd, that's the funniest thing I've read all week.

Re:Professional Homosexuality on Slashdot? (-1)

Sunken Kursk (518450) | about 13 years ago | (#2436989)

Dude, this is getting bad! Then again, I had this kind of luck when I first started too.

You're like Jagr, except without the fucked-up knee.

did i not request that you add porn to your posts? (-1)

Anomymous Coward (303315) | about 13 years ago | (#2437061)

After playing tennis and frisbee for most of the afternoon, and cooking up a

tasty stir-fry (enjoyed over a bottle of white zinfandel) for dinner, Jim

and Janet decided to call it an early evening and went to sleep, having

allowed their feelings of horniness to be displaced temporarily by feelings

of fatigue. Overnight, the temperature dropped from warm-and-pleasant to

goose-pimple-cold, an occurrence for which they were ill-prepared, having

left the bedroom windows open, with a single sheet covering the two of them.

In their respective dreams, their king-sized bed became a stretch of frozen

tundra, complete with arctic winds cutting across the expanse.

What began as an overly-affectionate huddling together for warmth

degenerated, as the cold slowly pulled them awake, into a nasty little

tug-of-war, with the prize being a larger-than-fair portion of the

cotton/polyester sheet. Having always been better at such games, Janet

curled herself into a fetal position, clutched a double-handful of sheet to

her chest, and gave a little, twisting *tug*. Pretty as you please, the

last yard of sheet jumped away from Jim and settled neatly on Janet, leaving

Jim's butt exposed to the elements. His eyes flew open just as a breeze

blew up his backside. "Hey! I'm freezing! Gimme some back."

Janet purred a contented, sleepy little dismissal, "Jim, if you're cold,

just get up and take a blanket out of the closet." Jim was ready to hoist

himself out of bed when he realized that he'd just been snookered (and not

for the first time!) into getting a blanket while Janet stayed in bed. His

darling wife had suddenly been transformed, in his eyes, into an Evil

Manipulator, and he decided to stand up for All Men, everywhere.

"If you want a blanket, Janet, *you* get it. Now give me some sheet!", and

he proceeded to haul at the blanket like he was pulling in the main sail.

With more than half-serious indignation, Janet growled "You jerk! Pick on

someone your own size!" and she did that little clutching move again, which

rolled Jim over and recovered half of what he'd hauled away from her.

"Can't...there's no one else here." smirked Jim, and he pressed his (now

frozen) toes up against her warm, heart-shaped bottom. She squeaked out a

surprised little "Yelp!" and jumped away from him, letting go of the sheet.

"Aha!!" Jim grabbed the edge of the sheet and rolled back towards his side

of the bed. "Loser!" he cried and, gripping the sheet tightly, he rolled

over and away from Janet, spooling the entire sheet around himself. "*You*

can get the blanket for a change, chump!" He rolled clear to the other side

of the bed, and was quite pleased with himself, since he didn't get to

outsmart his wife very often.

He had about half-a-heartbeat to gloat, and then Janet jumped on top of him,

and glowered down at him with a frighteningly predatory look. "You know,

Jim, I'll never understand how such a smart man can consistently get himself

into such *dumb* predicaments!" He tried boosting himself up with his arms

(all those workouts came in handy when he was wrestling with Janet who,

although no pushover, was never able to beat him in a fair fight)...and he

collapsed backwards! Quickly, he realized that he'd mummified himself

inside the sheet. He thought hurriedly....king-sized sheet...must be eight

or nine layers of cloth...his hands stuck by his hips, tangled up more than

the rest of him...Janet sitting on his stomach with her knees on either side

of his chest, using those cyclist's legs of hers to squeeze his arms against

his sides. Oh, I'm meat, he thought, I'm hamburger fucking helper.

Janet was smiling down at him evilly. "You've got such an *endearing* look

on your face, honey!" And then her expression changed to one of

mock-concern: "Have you got enough of the sheet now, Jimmy?"

"Okay, heh, yeah, got me, yep, that was pretty good...I'll go

get the blanket..."

"Oh, baby, what's the hurry, you're not still cold are you? *I'm* the one

who should be cold!" and reaching her arms behind her, she stretched her

naked torso backwards and turned from side to side, the silhouette of her

nipples sharply visible against the light from the bedroom window. He

became acutely aware that he had a hard on, and he squirmed as it strained,

like the rest of him, against the sheet. Janet brought her hands back down

and ran them smoothly over her breasts. With a sudden surge of frustrated

horniness, Jim bucked frantically and nearly threw his wife off of him.

Looking furious that Jim had the audacity to try taking advantage of her

posing for him, she shifted her legs lower down Jim's body and fell forward

onto him, hard, knocking the air out of him, and assumed a decidedly

female-superior position. Now, it was Janet's turn to look surprised, as

she felt Jim's erection pressing against her. For a second, Jim thought

that she might let him loose so they could go at it...but Janet's expression

shifted again, and became particularly merciless. "Poor baby!" she cooed,

"there's something you want really bad, isn't there?" Wrapping her arms and

legs tightly around Jim, she brought her face close and started giving him

soft kisses on his cheeks, his temples, his forehead. A small moan of

pleasure came from him, and he closed his eyes. She kissed his eyelids, and

brought her mouth down to meet his. His tongue reached for her, and with no

teasing Janet kissed him long and deeply.

"Oh, honey, I want you...please let me go."

She gazed at him tenderly, and said "I want you too, really bad, but some

things are worth waiting for. Besides, I *know*'ll enjoy it more

if I tease you senseless first."

"But you've already teased me senseless!" and, at this new development, he

started struggling in earnest. But poised as she was, he could barely get

enough leverage to rock her back and forth...rolling her away was utterly

impossible. He strained fruitlessly for long seconds, and fell back


"You call *this* teasing?" she chided, her face inches from his. "Darling,

I haven't even *started* teasing you!" and she placed her hands on both

sides of his face, keeping his head immobile. She brushed several feathery

kisses against his lips and, as he strained for more, she unceremoniously

licked his nose.

"*Bleck*!! Why, you bitch!! Gaaa!!!! I hate that!"

"Oh, so I'm a bitch? Well, what else am I supposed to do to you?" she asked

innocently, while she wiped the saliva off his nose.

"I don't care...anything but that! That felt horrid!"

"But, Jim, I can only torture your face...the rest of you has gone

undercover." She paused, smiling at her pun. "Except...except for...hmm..."

Like a dervish, she jumped back and landed her bum on his stomach, then

bounced off him and rolled him over another half turn, so he was face down,

whereupon she grabbed onto the sheets wrapped around his ankles and pulled

herself around. His first reaction (after "oof!") was that she was going to

try smacking his bottom, and he tried getting his hands back to ward off the

blows. A split second later, Janet was coming back down on top of him,

making a "Hiiee-yA!" noise very much like Miss Piggy. He flattened himself

so that the mattress would absorb the blow, but to his surprise Janet merely

settled gently on top of him. "You're learning, boy! What is it they say

about old dogs and new tricks?"

He was now face down, with his arms behind his back, hands pinned against

his own butt, thanks to his thrashing around. His wife was lying face down

on him, with her thighs again clamped around his chest. Her arms were

hugging his legs tightly, while her right hand fumbled at the cloth by his

ankles. Suddenly, he felt cold air, as Janet peeled back enough of the

sheets that his right foot was free. He tried to kick, but his knees were

still wrapped tightly together. Besides, what little maneuvering room his

ankles had disappeared when Janet wound the excess sheet around his shins.

His left foot was still bound in cloth, but his right foot was totally


"So, is this the naughty foot that stuck it's cold toes up my butt, hmmm?"

Jim started to babble, "No no it was the other one I swear it wasn't that

one no..."

"I don't know, Jim, these toes feel *awfully* cold." she said, as she ran

the tip of her index finger along the base of Jim's toes. "So were *you*

the coldest toe? Or was it *you*?" she asked, punctuating each query with a

little squeeze of each toe.

"(*giggle*) It wasn't any of them! (*snort*) Oh, God, please..." The

gentle, almost loving touches underneath his toes made his foot twitch

spasmodically, and Jim became frantic at the prospect that Janet was going

to tickle him into hysteria. He didn't plead yet, though...he clung

desperately to the ludicrous hope that, if he didn't beg her not to tickle

him, then Janet wouldn't think of doing it.

"Oh, so I'm going to have to conduct an Inquisition, is that it? Well,

since you like picking on people smaller than you," she said snidely, "I'll

start with the littlest toe first...have you done anything that deserves

punishment, hmmm?" And she started running her fingertips very lightly down

the toe, along the outside edge of the foot, and then back up again.

Jim's initial, stifled laughs gave way to a steady stream of giggles, like

water falling. "No honest I-swear-to-god I haven't!" he gasped.

"You know, you've got a beautiful giggle, Jim, even if that wonderful

baritone voice of yours sounds more like a schoolgirl's now! It's too bad I

don't hear you giggle more often. So, how about Toe Number 2? Do *you*

have any confessions to make?" She started tracing her maddening fingertips

in a straight line along the second toe, up and down across the sole of

Jim's foot. That tickled *much* worse than the edge of his foot did, and

Jim dropped all pretense of not begging.

"Please Janet plee-hee-hee-heeze (*gasp*), don't tickle me-he-hee-HA! HA! oh

God (*giggle*) like this it's-sss-it's(*sputter*) HA HA not fair hah HAH!!"

"Oh, and I suppose that what you did to me last week on the couch was fair,

right? Remember, you brute? When we were smootching, and you started

kissing my neck, and when I laughed, you pinned my arms over my head and

started nuzzling me under my arms until I nearly wet myself? Do you

remember that, hmmm?" She shifted over to the third toe, so that her

fingertips were sliding up and down the very center of his foot, taking

little digressions to follow the curves along the arch and heel.

Jim was out-and-out laughing now, and gasping for breath. He'd always been

a tickle fiend, but that was when *he* was doing the tickling. The only

time he'd gotten it back badly was when he was was 12 and staying with

relatives before a wedding. His cousin Karen (how old was she then? 15?

16?) caught him peeking when she was trying on her bridesmaid's outfit. He

ran, but she caught him in about three strides and pinned him down, and

while she said "I'll bet you thought that was funny, huh?" over and over,

she proceeded to slowly and methodically tickle him half to death. He

didn't even remember her stopping...just him catching his breath afterwards.

That was 20 years ago, and he wasn't sure if he could stand it if it happened

again. He managed to blurt out "Yes-I-did-it-I-did-it-I'm-sorry-oh-God" in

one breath.

"Finally, a confession! Very well!" she said as she stopped her tickling,

and she drew herself up haughtily. "It's the judgement of this court that,

given your offense, the punishment should fit the crime. You are hereby

sentenced to the poetic justice of being tickled on the bottom of your right

foot until you go completely insane, said sentence to be carried out

immediately. Does the condemned care to make a final statement?" Red

faced, sweating, and panting, Jim gasped in a breath and started to open his

mouth when Janet chirped "Time's up!" and began very lightly and rapidly

dragging the fingertips of both hands over the sole of Jim's foot. She

alternated left and right hands, using all of her fingers and touching very

lightly, scraping as gently and as rapidly as she could.

If Jim thought that he'd ever been tickled before, he was wrong. His voice

jumped from hyperactive giggles to full-bodied guffaws and back again as his

tortured nerves tried desperately to reach some sort of equilibrium, but

Janet was a cruel, relentless, and very talented tickler, and she altered

her touch just enough to keep Jim from adapting to the torment. He felt

electric currents searing across his feet, racing up the backs of his legs

to his groin, and shooting out along his spinal cord. He howled...he

shrieked...he positively *screamed* with forced laughter, while his body

thrashed like a wild animal. "Kootchie, kootchie!" tormented Janet.

"Tickle toes!" and she dug into the sensitive skin under Jim's toes. "Tickle

here! Tickle there!" she teased, as she frantically scratched at one

sensitive spot, then another. "Tickle tickle tickle!!" she teased,

ruthlessly, while Jim prayed to God, to any god, to whatever god feels sorry

for people being tickled beyond human endurance, that she'd stop.

Then Jim's sense of time disappeared...he was in the Hell of Eternal Tickling.

"Jim!! JIM!!! Are you okay???" He realized that his wife was shouting at his

face while he was still being tickled wait, he was still

laughing, but he could see her hands and neither one was tickling him.

Janet was staring straight at him, and looked scared witless. He started to

get a grip on himself, but he realized that he could still *feel* it, and he

collapsed laughing once more.

"I'm okay...oh God...HA!!!"

The look of concern partially drained away from Janet's face. "Um...I was

actually going to commute your sentence to 10 minutes of eating me, but when

I stopped you just kept on *laughing*." Her eyes got wide again, and she

tried loosening the sheet from around her husband. "Are you *sure* you're


Jim tried to sit up and blurted out, "Ten minutes of head? How can I give

you head (*gasp*) when I can't even breathe??" and he collapsed backwards

roaring with laughter, like this was the funniest joke in the world.

"Jesus...let me get you out of this...sit up." The windings had loosened a

bit, and with a struggle (in no way helped by her husband's continuing

hysteria), she finally worked Jim's arms free and peeled the sweat-soaked

sheet away from his chest. "I've got to close the'll catch

pneumonia." While she closed them, Jim had flopped back onto the bed, and

she returned to the task of freeing him, trying to tug the sheet past his


"Ow! Watch it!" Jim opened his eyes wide, and looked coherent for the

first time. He scooted around on the bed, and wiggled his hips while he

carefully worked the sheets past

"Oh my!" gasped Janet, eyes riveted at his crotch, "Maybe you won't have to

give me head after all!"

He glanced down. "Geez...I guess not." He looked at Janet, hungrily, and

grinned. "But this time," he paused while he backed his wife back down onto

the bed and lowered himself on top of her, "*I* get to be on top."

Re:did i not request that you add porn to your pos (-1)

Sunken Kursk (518450) | about 13 years ago | (#2437137)

Quality crapflooding sir. Carry on!

Re:Professional Homosexuality on Slashdot? (-1)

The Turd Report (527733) | about 13 years ago | (#2437135)

That sums up slashdot quite nicely. Thank you!

GM Jesse's Night of Passion (-1)

TRoLLaXoR (181585) | about 13 years ago | (#2436962)

GM Jesse twitched and farted in his sleep. Next to him lay Susie Anne Lou, the GM plant-slut and all around bar whore. She was 42. She was also awake.

"Jesse, wake up," she hissed, her voice like sandpaper from years of a 5-pack-a-day smoking habit. "Wake up you fat son of a bitch!"

Stirring and mumbling something about "polishing his knob like a good little slut," GM Jesse awoke slowly. He winced as had fallen asleep with his cheap sunglasses on again and inadvertantly shoved them into his face in a failed attempt to wipe the sleep from his eyes.

"What the fuck!?" he exclaimed as he groggily looked around. He gasped as he saw Susie Anne Lou; he had forgotten that he had "seduced" (bought her 7 beers at the bar) and fucked her earlier that night. He had been dreaming about Sarah Jessica Parker's perky Jewish tits and her shaven Jewish pussy. He had "messed her pussy up" all night long in his dream and waking up to Susie Anne Lou was in sharp contrast to his fantasy.

"You were snoring and farting. You God-damned pig, I don't expect to deal with shit-smell and grunting after I fuck," Susie Anne Lou said pointedly. "God dammit!"

Without hesitation, GM Jesse bitchslapped Susie Anne Lou. "Fuckin' cunt, God-damn bitchin' an' whinin' after I got my balls in you," he berated. "Next time you want this God-damned meat pole you're gonna get down on your knees and kiss my balls first, you fuckin' hag!"

The next morning, Susie Ann Lou, the GM plant-slut, was nowhere to be seen. Neither was GM Jesse's guitar (untouched since '78), his Journey records (last listened to yesterday), his beer (all 5 cases of it, chilled), and a stack of porno mags (Open Legs, Hustler, and Shaved).

"Fuckin' slut stole all my shit, God dammit!" GM Jesse exclaimed angrily. "Fuckin' fuck-hole walked off with all my favotire shit!"

He grabbed his jean jacket and waddled out the door. It was a warm summer morning in Kansas City and he was wearing his finest red cut-off jogging pant shorts, a stained white tshirt, and a flannel shirt overtop of that. His shoes were imitation leather with Velcro straps. GM Jesse didn't have time to fuck around with tyin' his shoes!

His belly hung out from his tshirt, and though he didn't notice, his dirty cock was hanging limply from a hole he had cut in the front of his jogging pant cut-off shorts so he woulnd't have to pull them down to piss. He'd done this while trying to piss in a beer bottle in his reclining chair late one Wednesday night. It was quite hard to piss in a beer bottle sitting down with your dick aimed down and over the top of an elastic band!

His '78 stationwagon peeled out of his driveway and down the gravelly road toward I-70 and the GM plant.

His buddies from the line were drinking in the parking lot before work, per tradition every work day, and he didn't want to be late.

Re:GM Jesse's Night of Passion (-1)

Guns n' Roses Troll (207208) | about 13 years ago | (#2436988)

Encore, encore! I want to read about Jesse slaughtering Susie Ann Lou with a bread knife. I want detailed and accurate descriptions of her screaming and mewing and bleeding and dying.

Re:GM Jesse's Night of Passion (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2436994)

Now *THAT* is some funny sheeeee-it!

-DFW : Banning can't stop me!

I congratulate you.... (-1)

Anomymous Coward (303315) | about 13 years ago | (#2437013)

I've been working for a large corporation for the last ten

years. I started out as a junior executive straight out of

college and finally worked my way up to middle management as

the head of the marketing division two years ago. My work

requires me to travel frequently, I've lived in nine

different cities so far during my career. Perhaps that's

partially why I've never found the "right" girl to settle

down with and marry. Another contributing factor - maybe the

biggest factor - is that I'm highly sexed and very

promiscuous, sort of a male nymphomaniac. I'm always very

careful not to contract any social diseases, but I've still

been able to enjoy many different kinds of sex with many

different partners, both female and male. I really have no

preference for any particular kind of activity or fetish - I

enjoy it all.

In January of this year, I was transferred to San Diego.

Since I only anticipated being here for two years at most, I

decided to rent an apartment rather than go through the

hassle of trying to buy a house and then re-sell it two years


I found a place in a fairly new apartment complex in Point

Loma which suited my lifestyle superbly - a third floor unit

with a big kitchen, a big living room for entertaining, and a

balcony that overlooked the complex' swimming pool. I'm very

voyeuristic, and looked forward to being able to enjoy the

human scenery at the pool when the weather warmed up.

My work kept me fairly busy my first few months here, finally

in mid-April things began to slack off and I found myself

with a little more free time. I hadn't had the opportunity

to meet many people in my apartment complex yet, so I spent a

lot of my free time at home alone gazing lustfully at the

many "girls next door" who began to frequent the pool. Two

girls in particular always showed up at the same time each

day, arriving together and leaving together. They were very

friendly with each other, always talking and joking, but I

never saw them converse with anyone else. One was a short

brunette, with well-padded hips and thighs - a little

overweight and stocky, but not flabby. Her boobs were large

for her height of about 5'2", and were usually totally

exposed, except for her nipples which she tried to keep

covered with the skimpiest string bikini top I've ever seen.

Her closely cropped hair permitted a clear view of her

monumentous breasts from all angles. The bottom of the suit

she usually wore was cut extremely high on the sides, barely

two inches of nylon fabric came down through her crotch,

covering the crack of her cushiony ass and most of her bushy

pubic hairs. Whenever she turned over on the chaise lounge,

or spread her legs wide enough, the sweaty pink fabric of her

suit rode right up into her crack; making her pussy lips,

labia, and anus plainly visible to me through the almost

transparent cloth from my vantage point.

Her friend, a petite Oriental girl, had almost no tits at

all, but her nipples, which must have been at least an inch

long, constantly protruded and looked like two dark thimbles

stretching the white knit fabric of the one piece swimsuit

she usually had on. Her long black hair reached down to her

ass, although she usually kept it pinned to the top of her

head. Her feet were very tiny and unblemished, she kept her

toenails closely trimmed and always painted a bright, tasty,

eye-catching red. Her olive skin was an immense contrast

with her suit, making her look like a miniature geisha


The two girls were obviously very friendly, as they massaged

suntan oil on each other from time to time, they did it oh-

so-gently...much more of a caress than a functional move to

apply the oil. The Oriental girl, especially when massaging

oil on the fat girl's back and thighs, always lingered a

little longer than was necessary on those delicious globes of

the big girl's ass..and at least once, I was sure, slipped

her dainty index finger under her friend's suit and diddled

her anus oh-so-lovingly. Although I didn't know anything

about either girl, other than what I had seen from my balcony

while playing with my cock, I convinced myself that they were

probably dykes. They were never with any guys, and seemed to

be too friendly to be mere acquaintances.

This went on for several weeks, each day I spied on those two

tasty creatures while sitting on my balcony, a beer in one

hand and my dick in the other. I was too nervous to approach

them; after all, they were probably gay, and I didn't want to

risk a rejection. Anyhow, I was enjoying my solitary

fantasizing, and I guess I didn't want to risk having my

fantasies shattered either.

One Saturday in mid-May, I finished work unusually early,

went out on my balcony and started drinking beer a little

earlier than I usually did. My two fantasy girls showed up

at their appointed time and planted themselves in their usual

corner of the pool area, showing me a perfect view of their

gorgeous tits and asses. A little more tipsy than I usually

was this early in the afternoon, I decided to go for broke

and introduce myself to them, fuck the rejection...Who cares?

In my semi-inebriated state, I decided I could make a better

first impression if I dressed as revealingly as they did. I

pulled on my white Speedo Bikini bathing suit. My cock,

balls and ass cheeks were plainly visible through the thin

material; my wiry pubic hairs created a dark shadow in the

front of my suit. No shirt, no shoes...I went downstairs.

"Hi there, my name's Greg. I just moved in a few months


Both girls looked up, I thought I detected a half smile and a

gleam in the eyes of the Oriental girl as she looked at my

face, glanced at my crotch, then quickly away. The fat girl

eyed the bulge in my bathing suit steadily and unabashedly,

then looked me square in the eyes. "Get lost!" she said


I'm generally a very cooperative guy, and don't like

confrontations. Usually, I would turn around and walk away

if I found myself in a position like the one I was in now.

But today...I guess the brew and the fantasizing about these

two dolls had emboldened me.

"Hey, I'm just trying to be friendly. No need to get rude."

"Sure you are," retorted the fat one. "Waving your penis in

our faces, advertising your wares. You're looking for a

quick fuck, just like every other guy in this city. Well,

you're not going to find it here. Go back to your balcony

and masturbate if that's what gets you off...and don't say

you don't do it, we see you every day."

I was flabbergasted. I had no idea they had seen me. I must

have turned twelve shades of red.

"I-I-I'm sorry," I stammered. "I-I-It's just that you're both

so gorgeous...Your ass...and your friend's feet...I didn't

know you could see...I-I-I guess I'll go now."

I could tell the Oriental girl was trying hard to suppress a

smile. She reached for the fat one, pulled her close, and

whispered in her ear. They conferred briefly, then both

started laughing. I turned to leave.

"Wait!" called the fat one. "Are you really sorry?"

"Yes," I hesitantly replied.

"Will you do anything to make it up to us?"

"Yes," I answered, a dim light beginning to flicker in my


"Will you do anything we tell you questions matter how vulgar or dirty?"

I suddenly realized that this was probably a sexual

proposition. So, they were into a little master/slave play?

A little S&M perhaps? I was definitely game.

"Yes, I will," I asserted.

"Okay," said the fat one, "my name is Gina, my friend here is

Susan. We would like to have a servant to abuse - both

physically and verbally - tomorrow when we go to Black's

Beach. You'll do. We're not going to let you get your rocks

off - your duty will be to do exactly what we tell you to

do...and we're going to make you do some pretty nasty, vulgar

things...all for our enjoyment. We're going to fuck you -

like you want to fuck us - maybe with a dildo, or maybe we'll

find some gay guy and tell him he can fuck you while we

watch. At any rate, you're not to speak at all, and you must

do everything we tell you to. Is that clear?"

Listening to her talk, my cock had grown to it's full six

inches. The bulge in my suit would surely have been visible

to everyone else in the complex...thank God I was facing the

girls with a wall on either side. Only they could see. I

really wanted to do this. Yes, I would grovel at the feet of

these two nasty creatures and do anything they said. I would

gladly play the subservient role for them

"Yes, Miss Gina, I'll do whatever you say."

"Okay then, you wimpy asshole. Get out of here. We'll be by

your apartment to pick you up at 9 o'clock sharp tomorrow.

Make sure you're ready! Be prepared for some pain, you

prick! Oh...come here."

She motioned for me to bend my head close to hers. Assuming

she wanted to whisper something nasty in my ear, I did so. I

saw stars as the full force of her open palm cracked across

my left cheek.

"That's just a small sample of what you can expect," said

Gina. "Get out of here."

Rubbing my stinging face, I turned and walked away. Behind

my back, I heard Gina and Susan breaking up in guffaws of

laughter. My hard-on had rapidly disappeared, although a

drop of pre-cum stained my bathing suit.

"Wait!" Gina yelled. I turned. "Do you really want to be

treated like shit?"

"Yes," I responded.

"Tell me you want to be treated like shit."

"I want to be treated like shit."



"Okay," purred Gina, "we'll treat you like shit."

Back in my apartment, I ate, showered, and set my alarm for

8:30. I wanted to be sure not to miss the knock when Gina

and Susan came by the next morning.

BUZZ - BUZZ - BUZZ - BUZZ - I reached up, hit the alarm, and

parted my heavy eyelids with difficulty. 8:30. I'll sleep a

little more. Suddenly it hit me - this is Sunday! Today is

the day! I jumped from bed, quickly showered, and pulled on

my cut-off jeans. At 9:00 exactly there was a knock at the

door. I unlocked the door, turned the knob, Gina and Susan

came bursting in.

"On your knees, slave!" shouted Gina.

I dropped to my knees rapidly, more surprised than frightened.

Susan quickly darted behind me, and planted her sandaled right

foot for such a little girl. I fell forward. Gina grabbed

my hair and lifted my head up.

"Who told you to put on shorts, slave?"

I started to reply, but as soon as I opened my mouth, Gina

shouted, "Silence!"

Pushing me onto my back, they pulled off my shorts, then

stood me up.

"To the bathroom you dirty pig!"

For the next hour or so, things happened so fast I was in a

daze the whole time. The girls manhandled me easily,

although I made no attempt to resist. I was enjoying myself

- even the humiliation and pain they subjected me to.

First, they blindfolded me, put me in the bathtub and washed

me with cold water...I was thoroughly clean when they

finished, but my cock and balls were as shriveled and small

as a prune. The next thing I know, I was bent over the side

of the tub and felt a greased finger entering my asshole. I

didn't mind - it felt great - suddenly, it was removed and

replaced with something much harder...and

violated my rectum, and as my bowels began to fill with warm

water I realized that they had brought an enema with them. I

was very bloated when they finally removed the nozzle, they

made me hold the liquid in until I was grimacing with the

effort, at last I was allowed to expel the fluid. Finally

considering me clean, they removed the blindfold. Gina

produced a rubber butt plug - only about 3 inches long, but

about 2 inches in diameter. After making me such on it for a

while, she inserted it in my anus and made me put on a pair

of tight, french-cut nylon panties - which rode right up in

the crack of my ass - to hold the butt plug in place.

Gina announced, "That will stretch and prepare your asshole

for what's to come, slave. You are not going to cum at all.

If you touch yourself, or ejaculate for any reason...there

will be hell to pay. Do you understand?" She punctuated her

question with a firm squeeze on my shriveled balls, I meekly

nodded in the affirmative.

With that, I was ordered to put on sneakers, gym shorts, and

a T-shirt; and was led downstairs to their waiting van for

the drive to the beach. In the van, I was immediately

ordered to remove all my clothes again...except for the butt

plug and panties. Gina drove, while Susan removed her

shorts, spread her lovely legs while lounging on the sleeper

in the back of the van, and ordered me to chow down. Quickly

obliging, I reveled in the taste and texture of her tight,

pink lipped Oriental cunt. Her pubes were closely trimmed,

very dark and wiry; her clit was large red nodule which

protruded from the thin lips of her labia. I tongued and

slurped her delicious cunt the entire 30 minute drive to the

beach, very pleased to be able to make Susan orgasm at least

three times that I noticed. Whenever I slowed, or didn't

lick in the right place, Susan would reach down and paddle my

ass with a sandal, or push on the butt plug; which now had

performed it's function by loosening my sphincter muscles

significantly. Gina watched the show in the rear-view

mirror, from time to time telling Susan to give me an extra

slap for her or ordering me to slap myself. By the time we

pulled into the sandy parking lot at Black's Beach, my ass

was a nice shade of red, my anus was very loose, and my cock

was as hard and as stiff as a pole.

"So, you enjoyed that did you, you worm?" said Gina,

squeezing my cock. "Put these on."

She proffered a pair of flimsy women's jogging shorts, with

no lining, which were too small for me. Pulling them on, I

found myself with half of my reddened ass cheeks hanging out,

my engorged cock plainly visible through the thin material.

Susan then fastened a leather dog collar around my neck.

"You will wear this all day," she stated, "everyone will know

that you are our slave. Put on your shoes and let's go."

Feeling like a fool wearing only the tight shorts, shoes and

dog collar; my two mistresses led me down the steep trail

leading the the beach.

As soon as we hit the beach, Gina and Susan shed all their

clothes and ordered me to do the same. I was finally able to

remove the panties and the butt plug, only the dog collar had

to stay. The beach was sparsely populated this early in the

morning, Gina and Susan ordered me to stand with my hands at

my sides while they fingered each other's pussies in front of

me and watched my stiff cock bob in the breeze. Tiring of

this amusement, Susan said to Gina, "Let's find a good spot

to set up for the day."

"I know just the place," replied Gina. "Let's go."

The two girls began walking north along the beach, whispering

to each other and occasionally glancing back at me

mischievously. Trailing them, I was enjoying the sight of

those two delicious bare asses and the sensation of the sun

and the breeze on my skin.

Gina led us to a spot about one-half mile up the beach where

big rocks came down the side of the cliff to the sand.

During high tide, the surf lapped right up to these boulders;

during low tide, like it was now, the rocks created

convenient alcoves for people to lie in and not be seen by

passer-by until they were directly in front of them. This was

also the area where many of the gays who came to Black's

Beach liked to hang out.

Spreading their beach towels on the sand in one of the

alcoves, Gina and Susan ordered me to lie on my stomach with

my feet toward the ocean and my legs spread. With a bottle

of baby oil, they thoroughly oiled my backside from neck to

toe - paying particular attention to my enlarged anus.

"You're almost ready, slave. We just need to make one more

preparation," giggled Susan. Picking up one of her sandals,

she began to paddle my already glowing backside. When she

was finally satisfied that she had attained the right color,

my ass stung. Looking over my shoulder, I saw that it was a

bright, fiery red; glowing with baby oil.

Gina and Susan then positioned themselves on either side of

me, sitting and facing the ocean. "Now all we do is wait,"

said Gina.

I was facing the side of the cliff, and was not allowed to

turn around or look behind me. With my legs spread, my

stretched asshole and bright red ass facing toward the surf,

I felt very vulnerable...but very excited. I didn't know

what these two crazy girls had in mind, but I was sure it was

going to be fun.

A few minutes later, I heard some people approaching along

the beach. As the voices came nearer and nearer, Gina and

Susan each placed a hand in the crack of my ass, and pulled

my cheeks apart as widely as they could. As stretched as my

anus had been by the butt plug, I knew it must look as big as

a juice glass to whoever was passing by. With my face in the

beach towel, I realized that my cock was hard...I was going

to be a faceless exhibitionist who would be ogled by

strangers in passing! The voices suddenly stopped behind me.

"Hi," shouted Susan, "nice day for the beach."

"Sure is," replied a male voice

"Nice ass you have there," giggled a female voice.

Gina and Susan both laughed. Gina ran her finger around the

rim of my asshole. "This is our slave. We're showing him


The two voices laughed, along with Gina and Susan, then moved

on down the beach. The girls resumed their vigil.

This went on for a couple of hours, about 15 times my cheeks

were stretched wide while people passed by; male, female,

singles and groups. If the passer-by didn't say anything,

Susan would shout a greeting to them, making sure that each

one lingered a little behind me to look at my ass. In

between people, Susan would paddle my ass a little more to

retain it's color or apply more baby oil if necessary. Gina

had brought a cooler of beer, they both sipped beer while

having their fun and even allowed me to have a few sips. My

cock remained hard the whole time - I found that I was really

enjoying this unusual exhibitionistic game.

Someone else was approaching, again the girls stretched my

ass cheeks apart so wide I could fee the ocean breeze in my


"Hi," said Gina, "nice day."

"It's getting better by the minute," replied a deep male

voice. "What have you two girls got there?"

"Oh, this is just our slave," answered Susan. "We're showing

off his ass to whoever wants to look. See how nice and red

it is?"

"That is nice," said the voice, "and such a tasty looking

asshole, too. I think it's probably big enough for this."

I couldn't see what was going on behind me, but I definitely

heard the sounds of some guy flogging his dong. Gina and

Susan were in hysterics.

"I don't know," said Gina. "That's pretty big. Our slave

needs a good fucking, though. Why not give it a try?"

I was about to jump up and leave, but thought better of it.

I was really turned on by the conversation that had just

transpired, but I had never been fucked by someone I didn't

know. What about disease? Apparently sensing my hesitation,

Susan withdrew a condom from her bag.

"You'll have to put this on that big monster," she said. "We

have to make sure we keep our slave clean."

Gina and Susan stood up and moved in front of me to get a

good view of my face. "You'd better enjoy this slave," said

Gina. "You wanted to fuck us so badly yesterday...let's see

how much you like being fucked."

Rough hands spread my legs apart even further, and parted my

cheeks. I felt the tip of his cock being rubbed against the

outside of my well-oiled asshole, suddenly he thrust the full

length of his manhood into my rectum. I bit my lip. His

penis was no bigger around than the dildo that had already

loosened my anus; but the length! He must have been at least

8 inches long! After a few pumps, I no longer felt any pain,

and began to enjoy the sensation of being fucked immensely.

And I didn't know who he was or what he looked like! My cock

was as hard as the one in my ass, with each thrust he drove

my cock into Susan's beach towel which was supported by the

soft sand. Gina and Susan seemed to be enjoying the show

immensely, they began to kiss and fondle each other's tits

and pussies while watching the stiff dick being pushed in

and out of my ass.

Watching the girls, I realized that I was about to cum. The

combination of seeing those two beautiful creatures fingering

their twats and having a hard cock filling my ass was more

than I could bear.

Suddenly, my visitor stopped thrusting, and let out a load

groan with his dick planted up to his balls in my asshole.

As he came, I climaxed simultaneously, spurting puddles of

creamy white jism all over Susan's beach towel. Susan and

Gina, fingering each other's clits furiously, also began to

squeal with pleasure as they orgasmed along with us.

Our male visitor withdrew his rubber encased appendage from

my anus with a slurping sound, thanked the girls for their

generosity, and departed the way he had come.

Susan scolded me severely for having cum on her beach towel,

with a sandal she again began to slap my ass cheeks


"As punishment for what you have done, you slime," said Gina,

"we're going to find a bigger cock to fuck'll

really feel this one. And this time, we won't even let you

hear his voice so you won't know when it's coming."

With that, she withdrew a Walkman Radio from her bag and

placed the headphones over my ears, turning the volume up

load on a Rock station; I could no longer hear anything or

anyone behind me. My cock began to stiffen again in

anticipation of what was to come. Shifting my head to get

more comfortable, I bumped the radio and lost the

station...the static in my ears was very loud...BUZZ-BUZZ-


BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ- I reached up, hit the alarm, and parted

my heavy eyelids with difficulty. 8:30. I'll sleep a little

more. Suddenly it hit me - this is Sunday! Today is the

day! I jumped from bed, quickly showered, and pulled on my

cut-off jeans. At 9:00, I was waiting breathlessly by the

door. Nothing happened...9:30...10:00...10:30. I realized I

had been stood up. I went out on my balcony and began to sip

beer while watching the pool. At about 11:30, on my way to

the kitchen to get another beer, I noticed an envelope that

had been slid under the door. Picking it up and ripping it

open, I read:


Susan and I decided to make other plans for today. You said

you wanted to be treated like shit - now you've been treated

like shit. Hope you enjoyed it.


Bob Patterson is DYING!!! (-1)

Sunken Kursk (518450) | about 13 years ago | (#2436964)

Bob Patterson is dying

Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Bob Patterson community when last month IDC confirmed that Bob Patterson accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of ABC Ratings. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Bob Patterson has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Bob Patterson is collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last [] in the recent Nielson's Ratings Survey.

You don't need to be a Kreskin [] to predict Bob Patterson's future. The handwriting is on the wall: Bob Patterson faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Bob Patterson because Bob Patterson is dying. Things are looking very bad for Bob Patterson. As many of us are already aware, Bob Patterson continues to lose market share. Viewership flows like a river of blood. The Network Test Card is the most endangered of them all.

Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

Ratings leader Theo states that there are 7000 viewers of PAX. How many viewers of the WB are there? Let's see. The number of PAX versus WB posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 WB viewers. Bob Paterson posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of WB posts. Therefore there are about 700 viewers of Bob Paterson. A recent article put Network Test Cards at about 80 percent of the Bob Patterson market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 Network Test Card viewers. This is consistent with the number of The Network Test Card Usenet posts.

Due to the troubles of abysmal ratings and so on, Bob Paterson was moved so it was no longer against Frasier. Now in its new timeslot, its ratings continue to slide. Soon, its corpse turned over to another timeslot.

All major surveys show that Bob Patterson has steadily declined in market share. Bob Patterson is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Bob Patterson is to survive at all it will be cult television followers. Bob Patterson continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Bob Patterson is dead.

Bob Patterson is dying

Audio (-1)

Guns n' Roses Troll (207208) | about 13 years ago | (#2436965)

"Linux audio" is like saying "innocent arab".

Re:Audio (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437064)

Are you saying that all arabs is guilty of bombing the 'world trade center'? (or is it just me)

That is just plain bigotry!!!

People like you start wars! (and wars are not good)

(unless you are running a country based on weapon industry) (5, Informative)

mirko (198274) | about 13 years ago | (#2436967)

I was about to write you a loooooong answer in order to show you most alternatives but this link [] just does it much better that I may have...

Have fun!

can Linux make life-like fart sounds? (-1)

Spooging Cum-Wanker (318665) | about 13 years ago | (#2436991)

I'd like to simulate opulent flatulence with my linux box.

it is also a firewall.

where's the porn? (-1)

Anomymous Coward (303315) | about 13 years ago | (#2437031)

Well it was Thursday afternoon. Almost the end of another long

day at work. As Amy passed my desk she said, "Cheer up - dinner time

soon." She and I had begun to share dinner together on Thursdays as we

are almost neighbors and, being recently divorced, enjoy visiting. I

replied with a tired smile, "I know - if I can survive that long!"

Little did I realize what was soon to be in store for me.

Five o'clock came after what seemed an eternity and we heading

home together in the car. As we came inside the house, she said, "Why

don't you go ahead and change, I'll start the pasta?" I agreed and

went off toward the bedroom. I began removing my blazer suit: hung my

blazer in the closet; unbuttoned my blouse and tossed it into the

laundry basket; kicked off my pumps and wiggled my tired feet;

unzipped my skirt and put it over the chair; unrolled my hose and

tossed them on top of the blouse, removed my bra and panties and

tossed them also. I went to into the bathroom to wash up but before I

could start the water Amy came in. "What are doing?", I asked

demanded. She had never seen me undressed before now. She grabbed my

wrists and before I could react she had handcuffed my wrists together

behind my back. "What the fuck are you doing!!" I yelled. She

answered, "I'm going to give you what you deserve slut. I'm tired of

the way you tease the men at work! You and your slutty clothes!! Where

do you get off coming on to the guys like you do?? Wearing no bra, and

skirts to show off your pussy - you must be a slut or whore!!". I was

shocked speechless by what she was saying.

She pulled me over to the bed and tied my ankles to the corner

bedposts She then tied a piece of cord to each wrist and then to

each bedpost at the headboard. As she unlocked the handcuffs, she

pulled tight on the cords and my wrists were then securely tied also.

I was very scared and began struggling against the bonds she had tied,

but it was no use - they were very tight. She then placed a ball gag

in mouth and fastened it with a leather strap. I was very terrified

now. There I was: tied spread-eagled to the bed & gagged. I couldn't

move or yell!

I watched as she left the room and soon returned my a black

nylon bag. From the bag she pulled out a short leather crop. I

thought, "My God, she is going to whip me!" Sure enough, she began

caressing my legs, thighs, stomach, and breasts with it. If I could

have screamed I certainly would have. She announced, "Are you ready

slut?". I watched in terror as she raised the crop and began to whip

my legs. I nearly jumped a foot off of the bed in pain as it landed.

She continued by criss-crossing my legs with lashes from her crop. She

began to move her lashes up my body - hitting my thighs, stomach, and

then my breasts. It all hurt so much that soon I lost all sense of

pain; it seemed to blur together as she kept up her merciless attack.

Suddenly she stopped, and put the crop down. The pain I had tried not

to think about I could no longer avoid as it flooded into me in the

absence of any new pain. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I managed a

gagged sob when I raised my head up a little and saw my body covered

with welts.

I then watched as she went into the bathroom and returned with a

razor and a can of shave cream. "Oh shit what is next??" I thought,

through the pain. As she climbed between my legs, she said "I'm going

to shave your cunt, whore. Whores must be kept clean." "I wouldn't

move at all if I were you; I wouldn't want to slip and cut something

off." As much pain as I was in I don't I could have moved if I tried,

but nonetheless I did not move. She lathered up my pubes and all over

and around my pussy opening. She set the can of cream aside and began

to stroke with the razor. She made long, sweeping strokes on my mound

and soon it was gone. She made shorter strokes along side of my labia.

She pulled my labia out firmly and she even made sure to shave that.

She continued by shaving around the opening and around my clit. After

another minute she announced I was now "clean." She got and went into

the bathroom. She got a wet handcloth and came back and wiped away the

remaining lather. My pussy felt so open, so vulnerable, so very

exposed. And I could do nothing.

She brought her nylon bag over closer to the bed. "I have now

punished you for what you have done and for what you are. You are and

have been a slut and whore. I'm about to punish you for what you might

do." She brought out of her bag a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a very

sharp but oversized needle. I had no idea what she was going to do

with that but I now knew it would not be good. She crawled to between

my legs and sat cross-legged. She pulled out firmly on my outer labia.

"Jeeezzz what fuck is she going to do??" I wondered silently. I knew a

second later when the needle passed through both of my labia. The pain

was so sharp and sudden, I felt very light-headed and sooo faint......

I awoke several hours later. The room was dark and I was under

the covers. I flicked on the nightstand light. I wasn't tied. The room

was quiet. Did I imagine all that?? I threw back the covers and looked

down at my body. No, I certainly didn't. My entire front from breasts

down to my knees was a cross-checking of welts. I then remembered what

she was last doing to me. I spread my legs and looked at my pussy. It

was very naked and hairless. Then I saw what she did to me. "My God

that fucking bitch!!" She had pierced through both my large labia and

had inserted a small gold ring. My labia were essentially stapled

together at that one point. I felt very faint again.....


That's pretty much it, isn't it? (5, Funny)

Soko (17987) | about 13 years ago | (#2437090)

Nice way to kill a story - provide the entire answer in one small, compact link. You've earned your Karma with barely a .sig.


It's over folks - nothing left to see here, move along.

Oh well - at least I've got some ammo for this ArsTechnica Battlefront [] thread. ;-)

Soko (3, Interesting)

kilgore_47 (262118) | about 13 years ago | (#2437097)

Whats the guy got against using a mac?
The mac is a great choice for professional audio.
(or at least a lot of professionals think so)

Call to arms (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2436972)

Our government has yet to responded to the threat of international terrorism.

Their reposnse is not strong enough for a true American. Instead of striking back with EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT (biological, chemical AND nuclear weapons!), they waste their time building "alliances" with the unchristian people who are untrustwothy by nature.

This lack of resolution can be traced to the long period of peace time between the WW-II and the WW-III we're fighting now.

Compared to the previous war, we are pitifully handicapped by our concepts of "morality". Back in the 1940s we interned our slant-eyed enemies with no qualms and prevented an uncounted number of terrorist attacks by these sworn bastard enemies of our white race.

Now all the ethnic arabs, blacks and god-knows-what- europeans are running free in our great country. Free to poison our water reservoirs and contaminate our blood supplies with their AIDS infected blood.

The terrorists do not have moral. In fact, they are not human beings and should be treated as such.

I call on you, free white Americans, to take action against these criminals. You have to do it on your own since our government seems to lack the strength to accept the reality and imprison, torture and kill these animals.

Don't let yourselves be fooled by the weak enemy within who keeps crying: free speech, human rights and free religion. There is no free speech during war. There are no human rights either. Finally, there should be no free religion. The pagan religions are the root of all evil and should not be tolareted. Our money and Constitution says: In God we Trust. That God is not the satanic, pagan Islamic god. It's the merciful Christian God!

Now, if ever, is the time for WHITE NATIONAL UNITY! To preserve our nation, faith and way of life: find and kill the enemy within and without!

Obligitory book link.. (5, Informative)

cheesyfru (99893) | about 13 years ago | (#2436974)

Check out Dave Phillips' excellent book on the subject, Linux Music and Sound. There is a chapter dedicated to what you're wanting to do. 4/ qid=1003254837/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_7_1/103-5443063-182 7000

does this book have interesting stories? (-1)

Anomymous Coward (303315) | about 13 years ago | (#2437044)

"The flowering of our S&M fantasies has been one of the highlights of

our sex life for Kathy and me. We began by using the telephone. I would

call her at work and describe in vivid detail what I planned to do to her

sexually that night. To my delight, I discovered that this excited her

and she walked around at work all day with a wet pussy. Knowing this

turned me on.

Gradually I began to smack her ass during sexplay, as she sat on top of

me or as she lay on her stomach sucking my cock. I would be on my haunches

in front of her, and as she sucked me, I would raise myself up on my knees,

hover over her and bring my palm down on her ass. At frist they were

exploratory smacks: light, but hard enough to make the rounded flesh of

her ass jiggle. Soon, though, I was spanking her full-force, causing her

ass to turn crimson with the imprint of my palm, and her pussy to turn


As the spankings increased in regularity, I was satisfied we were on

the right path to living out our fantasies. Then we devised something

we call the CRACK BELT. Under her skirt or jeans she wore a thin belt

around her waist with a strip of rope attached to the back of the belt,

running down between her cheeks, snuggled tightly between the lips of

her pussy, pressing on her clit and attached again at the front. The

constant pressure on her clitoris and the continual rubbing of it while

she walked kept her crack juicy.

The best part was watching her face when I knew she was coming in her

pants and no one around her realized it. I also went out of my way to

find long flights of stairs to walk up, because I knew thats when the

rope and belt would make her pussy the hottest. There were times when

I thought she was going to faint from the tremors of pleasure she was

experiencing in her cunt. We always fucked immmediately after taking

the Belt off, and she was so wet that I could sink my cock in to the

hilt without the slightest bit of trouble.

The Crack Belt got to be such a favorite for us that Kathy actually

began asking for it, the first time being the night of our one year

wedding anniversary. In celebration, we decided to go out for a nice

dinner. After Kathy showered and put on her makeup, she walked out of

the bedroom, naked, holding her Crack Belt. Softly, in a seductive little

voice, she asked me if I would'nt like fit her into the Crack Belt


I fastened the small belt around her waist and then knelt down behind

her to tie the cloth rope and pass it down the crack of her ass to be tied

in front of her navel. But this time I felt something different as I was

doing it: such important emotional tenderness on our anniversary. While

kneeling behind her, I planted a warm, wet kiss on each one of her buttocks

causing her to shivver.

All through dinner my excitement continued to mount. I found myself

touching her, running my hand ahainst her cheek, pressing my hand against

her hip and lightly on her thighs. Beneath her dress I could feel the

outline of the Crack Belt. The slow, sweet torture of anticipation

tingled in my loins, and I looked forward to quenching my sexual thirst.

Gazing at Kathy across the table, knowing her crack was wet from the

Belt, I saw in her eyes the saeme tense anticipation I was feeling. We

picked up our wine glasses and toasted out one year anniversary.

When dinner was over we went right home. As soon as we were inside

the apartment, I took her in my arms and gave her a long, passionate kiss.

I sucked on her soft, warm tongue as if it were giving me life and

unzipped the back of her dress, letting it fall to the floor. My cock

bulged and pressed against the front of my pants as I knelt in front

of her and undid the Crack Belt. I pushed her back onto the couch and

spread her thighs so that her soggy pussy presented itself like a target

to me.

My tongue darted between her slippery lips and pushed into her hole. I

tasted her sticky juices as I licked up the length of crack, stopping

at her clit. Her back arched violently and a loud moan of pleasure came from

her mouth as I sucked the fleshy button into my mouth and ran my tongue

across it. Already she was about to have an orgasm, and she gripped the back

of my head with both hands in preparation for it.

When it came, she pumped her pussy up and down on my face while still

holding onto my head. I continued to suck on her clit as she screamed with

pleasure. When the waves of her orgasm had subsided, I took my now

juice-covered face away from her pusssy and kissed her hard on the mouth so

she could taste her own come. She again held me by the head and, kitten-like,

licked my entire face clean of her juices.

I stood up and took my clothes off. My cock stood at rigid attention as I told her to suck it. Kneeling down, she took the whole of my cock in her

mouth and cupped my balls in her hands. Her head bobbed back and forth,

her lips sliding along the entire length of my cock, her hands gently

squeezing my balls. Her tongue ran along member, pressing and stroking,

toying with the tip. Sometimes she would pause with my cock head caught in

her lips and massage it wetly with her tongue. I felt as if I were about to

explode with excitement.

As the feeling grew in intensity, I gripped her head steady and began to

fuck her face, pumping my cock slowly but deliberately into her now

stationary mouth. I wanted desparately to shoot my load down her throat,

but I decided to wait. I had other things in mind, and I wanted to

mainatin my sexual energy for a grand finale.

Pulling my cock from Kathy's mouth, I led her by the hand into the bedroom

with my hard cock pointing the way. I watched while she put on black, net

stockings with a black garter belt, elbow-length black lace gloves and

a wide-brim, blue straw hat with a black band around it.

With my girl dressed this way, I could hardly contain my desire for

her. Taking her own hairbrush from her dresser, I ordered her to

face the full-length mirror we have hanging on the back of the bedroom

door. She braced herself by putting her gloved hands on the upper

corners of the mirror and then spread her long, stockinged legs. As

she stood with her eyes glued to her own reflection, I positioned

myself behind and to one side of her and gently ran my hand across

the smooth skin of her bare ass.

"Beg me to spank you, Kathy," I ordered.

In a meek voice, barely more than an excited whisper, Kathy said,

"Oh, please spank me." And as she stood there spread-eagled against

the mirror, I began to spank her ass with the hair brush.

As the power of the blows became stronger, her ass got redder and the slap

of the wood smacking hard against her skin seemed to reverberate through

the bedroom. Although standing stationary, she began lifting first one foot,

and then the other as if she were doing a slow dance. Her head arched

back as she continued her dance and I continued the spanking. With Kathy

standing there in front of me dressed like something from a French

whorehouse and with a flaming red ass, I felt as though no man could

have it any better. I loved this woman, and I loved the sense of power

over her that spanking her gave me. This was a gift from Kathy.

I ordered her to come away from the mirror and bend over. As she

gripped the arms of an easy chair for support, I told her to spread her

legs as far as possible and to lift her ass in the air. Lowering her head

into the cushion, she did as she was told.

Kneeling behind her, I now had her plump, meaty pussy lips staring me

directly in the face. I hope I never lose my fascination with the sight

of a woman's cunt exposed this way and waiting for it to be administered

to. Pushing her ass up in the air as far as I could go with one hand, I

began to spank her again.

Moans of pleasure pain escaped Kathy's lips as her ass began to sway back

and forth. My excitement was rising quickly. With each new smack my cock

pulsed with the desire to fuck her until she screamed for mercy.

Finally, I could wait no more. With one last perfectly aimed stroke of

my hand, I elicted a loud moan from her.

Now standing squarely behind her, I placed on hand on her waist for support

and with the other hand guided my bone-hard cock into her hot, sticky ass.

Upon contact with the stretchy grasp of her hole, I gasped in relief for I

knew the huge amount of come I had been holding back would soon spill

out of my cock. And it did. I would have liked to fuck her longer, but

the tight walls of her asshole wraped around my cock like a slippery,

gripping hand and brought me to a violent climax. I threw back my head

and rammed my cock as far and as hard into her as I could. And as I

came with primal grunts signally the pumping of load after load of

my come into her ass, Kathy came also, throwing her head back and squealing

with joy.

Re:Obligitory book link.. (1)

carlos_benj (140796) | about 13 years ago | (#2437100)

I'd dismissed that book after reading a negative review. After your use of the word 'excellent' I did a little Googling and found others with the same opinion including a blurb from Electronic Musician and Keyboard Magazine. Looks like I'll have to check into it a little more now.

Dang! How am I ever going to save time by letting others do my thinking if they don't all think alike?

Macs? (4, Informative)

Baba Abhui (246789) | about 13 years ago | (#2436975)

Digital audio production and Macs are virtually synonomous; what does this guy have against macs?

Re:Macs? (-1, Flamebait)

Traxton1 (154182) | about 13 years ago | (#2437002)

Maybe you're unaware that everyone hates Macs.

Re:Macs? (1)

gbaldwin1 (311080) | about 13 years ago | (#2437023)

Really? I didn't get the memo! Damn, and I was really starting to dig MacOS X.

Re:Macs? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437043)

Haha. You're a fag.

Re:Macs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437037)

-1, Troll

I'll bet he's a stupid fucker (-1)

Spooging Cum-Wanker (318665) | about 13 years ago | (#2437029)

clearly, this guy is a moron.

if a mac is good enough for Joe Satriani...


need I say more?

yup, he's a stupid fucker.

Re:Macs? (-1)

The Turd Report (527733) | about 13 years ago | (#2437065)

mac users == fags

Re:Macs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437077)

if we have to tell you, you'll never learn.

Re:Macs? (2, Interesting)

jeffy124 (453342) | about 13 years ago | (#2437078)

my guess is the bottom line. He probably doesnt want to spend the money in purchasing Apple hardware. So he wants to spend a little on Linux and reuse the hardware he already has that's currently running Windows.

He may also want to retain some things from Windows but not have enough physical desk space for two machines (a Mac and a Windows box). So he can use Linux and dual-boot the two OSs.

Re:Macs? (1)

kilgore_47 (262118) | about 13 years ago | (#2437105)

my guess is the bottom line.

"budget concerns" and "professional audio" are very very incompatible, regardless of platform. Audio hardware aint cheap.

MacCentral: Mac OS X great for pro audio (3, Informative)

HalimCMe (528821) | about 13 years ago | (#2437091)

Apple betting audio pros will like Mac OS X 10.1 []

Interesting article for those interested in professional audio under a well-supported non-Windows Unix-based OS.

Re:Macs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437109)

He probably dissed them in the past (no floppy! no command line! no bsod! too easy to use!) and is now too embarrassed to consider them.

Re:Macs? (3, Insightful)

LordNimon (85072) | about 13 years ago | (#2437122)

I agree completely. The supposed cost differences between Macs and PCs (and depending on who you ask, Macs either cost more or less than PCs) can't possibly be of concern to someone considering professional audio. After all, how much is his time worth? If he thinks he's going to save time and money (and in his business, time IS money) by forgoing Macs in favor of some cheapo PC running Linux, then he's got MUCH bigger problems.

Perhaps... (1, Flamebait)

cnelzie (451984) | about 13 years ago | (#2437132) is the "Think Diferent" marketing thing they have, while it is really more like Henry Ford and the Model-T.

"You can have one in any color as long as it is black." - Henry Ford

Steve Jobs does have diferent colored cutesy boxes, but you are very limited as to what you can do with the OS. Just look at the legal action against groups that think diferent and came up with a way to alter their desktop theme. I suppose there are also countless other things that Apple has proclaimed as evil, whenever a user or group of users wanted to "Think Diferent" than the Apple groupthink.

That is why I will personally never own a Mac. Sure, they make good hardware, sure the OS is pretty easy to use and functional. The thing that sucks, is you really can't think diferently than the Apple party line. It makes it sound a little like a dictatorship.

At least with Linux and Windows, there is nothing wrong with you changing the entire layout of the desktop and you have nearly limitless choices of what you can do with your system.

People just don't like Dictators.. Don't ask me why...

.sig seperator

check out Demudi (5, Insightful)

TerryG (84835) | about 13 years ago | (#2436978)

There are a lot of pieces that need putting together. I think Demudi [] is working on it.

One of... no... The most powerful, flexible, and extensible sound synthesis programs is Csound [] .

stay away from macs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2436979)

huh? why?? i mean honestly, why not use a very good toll for the job?

Pure Data, Jmax (5, Informative)

AtaruMoroboshi (522293) | about 13 years ago | (#2436986)

There is an audio solution for hardcore sound designers, it's called pd or Pure Data.

It's basically an attempt at an open source version of Max/MSP which is a program that is mac only and is used by groups like Autechre, Aphex Twin...

What PD is is a visual object oriented music "programing" language. It lets you build synths, midi controlers, do math, store data, create generative (algorythmic) music, do interactive composition...

here is a good link on PD:

Re:Pure Data, Jmax (2, Informative)

AtaruMoroboshi (522293) | about 13 years ago | (#2437134)

Oh yeah, and i forgot to mention Jmax.

Jmax is the same kind of deal, and the GUI is built in Java, so they call it Jmax. it runs on linux and windows.

Both pd and jmax can be used on Mac OS X, if you tweak them a bit.

Note that neither pd nor jmax have quite the robust roster of externals/objects that Max/MSP have, but they are open source and pretty functional, from what I understand from people who are hardcore about these things.

Re:Pure Data, Jmax (1)

kilgore_47 (262118) | about 13 years ago | (#2437141)

That is fucking incredible!

Does anyone know about getting it to run on OS X? (1)

reverius (471142) | about 13 years ago | (#2436990)

Check out [] . They have a ton of music stuff... some of which may even be usable! :)

Demudi (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2436992)

A specialised debian dist. is being setup just for this purpose, read more at (or read below ;o)

The GNU/Linux operating system is widely known as a robust base for running Internet servers, but has not reached yet a similar audience as a platform of choice for the musician and the multimedia artist. The DeMuDi project targets one reason of this issue, the lack of a GNU/Linux distribution oriented toward music and multimedia.
The Demudi project (for Debian Multimedia Distribution) aims to provide for the musician and artist a GNU/Linux distribution dedicated to music and multimedia that would ease installing and customizing GNU/Linux for their needs. Demudi is not actually a distribution in itself. Taking advantage of the existing Debian distribution, it enhances a Debian distribution by a collection of packages containing music and multimedia applications or development tools. The Debian distribution has been chosen, because it is the only distribution that is developed entirely by volunteers over the Internet, just like a significant part of the GNU system, the Linux kernel and many applications. Additionally, it supports several different hardware architectures.

Yes, I'm an AC - No, I don't feel like registering!

Silly question. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2436995)

Does WINE emulate the BSOD or Kernel32 errors?

Very silly question indeed. . . (1)

kfg (145172) | about 13 years ago | (#2437027)

since Wine Is Not an Emulator.


linux-audio-user mailing list (1)

EricFenderson (64220) | about 13 years ago | (#2436996)

LAU mailing list is the place to be for stuff like this.
It's new, it's cool:

Rediculous (5, Insightful)

swgs (235424) | about 13 years ago | (#2436998)

are there any valid reasons why he'd like to stay away from macs? macs are more widely used in the recording industry than windows. they are excellent for what he needs, and are not complicated. im sorry maybe im being a typical mac user, but i dont see what's missing.

this is a recording studio we are talking about, if they are at all proffesional they dont need to be dealing with the normally non existant support on linux.

so unless the guy is a big linux geek, or the idea of being fired sounds good to him. i say a Power Mac 9600 running Mac OS 8.6 should do the trick.


Re:Rediculous (1)

Roofus (15591) | about 13 years ago | (#2437111)

Thank you for your unwanted opinion. This guy explicitly said he does not want to use a mac. If you can't add to the conversation, please keep your mouth shut. I'm interested in hearing what kind of applications there are for linux.

Re:Rediculous (1)

brer_rabbit (195413) | about 13 years ago | (#2437121)

I don't know if that's still the case like it was 5 years ago. The PC has made incredible inroads thanks to companies like Sonic Foundry [] and similar stuff. I just with their were Unix equivalents of SoundForge, Acid, and Cubase. That'd really make my day.

Of course, their are lots of Macs out there for professional audio. Hell, I still use an Atari for Cubase, and I know some people use an Atari Falcon for Cubase/audio recording.

Re:Rediculous (0)

Shadowin (312793) | about 13 years ago | (#2437143)

Being a musician, who does his own production, I would say stick with the Windows before switching to Mac.

There may be good software for Macs, I don't know. However, when it comes down to it, it is difficult to program on a Mac, and almost everything is propietary. At least if you use open source software in Linux, if you don't like the way something works, you can code something up yourself.

Oh, and on more reason to stay away from Mac. Can we say one-button mouse, or even worse, a mouse with no buttons [] ?


I don't know of the software side, but (5, Informative)

alleria (144919) | about 13 years ago | (#2437005)

M-Audio and MidiMan provide professional-caliber cards with pro-level features, and support Linux as one of their OSes, as well as Mac/Windows, of course.

Their driver support for Windows is okay, but I believe their Linux support may well be binary only. That said, their drivers generally don't suck.

I'm not affiliated with them -- just a happy home user who enjoys using their pro-level cards for cleaner sound output under Windoze.

beat me to it (1)

Rai (524476) | about 13 years ago | (#2437006)

i was going to submit a similar question. i use several windows progs for desktop music production--cubase, fruity loops, rebirth, etc... does linux offer any similar packages? or would my best solution be to run these progs from a windows emulator?

Plea for a Programs (1)

Ashcrow (469400) | about 13 years ago | (#2437010)

I myself am a recording artist and wish so much for a cakewalk like (multi track, simple to lay tracks down for refrence) like program. I will rejoice the day I can use my Linux or BSD boxes to record my music.

Plea for good drivers (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437145)

I think Linux's sound drivers deserves some attention too. Out of the 3 sound cards I have, only one of them (SB Live) could play multiple audio streams simultaneously. Other cards need to use sound daemons such as esd and arts to achieve the same effect, but generally these sound daemons cause more trouble than what they're trying to solve. It's hard to believe that while Windows users takes multiplexing on their sound cards for granted, such feature is generally not availble for Linux.

It's true we need professional audio application, but what good are those if the underlying drivers suck?

Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ (-1, Flamebait)

Shoeboy (16224) | about 13 years ago | (#2437012)

Professional audio on Lunix? You've got to be kidding me. I'm fluent in English, which is something of a rarity on this site, and I interpret Professional Audio as "audio suitable for professionals."

News flash: professionals can afford to pay for software. They don't need half assed hobbyis crapware because they can afford professional software.

Lets be honest, Lunix is the same price as *BSD, has a more restrictive license than *BSD, isn't as well designed as *BSD and has a much less mature development model.

Could someone please tell me why the worst open source OS gets the most publicity?

Your friend,

Re:Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ (-1, Offtopic)

PygmySurfer (442860) | about 13 years ago | (#2437052)

I'm fluent in English

Are you sure?

They don't need half assed hobbyis crapware

I didn't think so...

hey, I thought you were dead... (-1)

Spooging Cum-Wanker (318665) | about 13 years ago | (#2437053)

I do professional audio production on my commodore 64.

Re:Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437059)

Nice troll. You're pretty fluent in <b> tags too.

Re:Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437088)

Whoa, heheheh ;)

Maybe you've already answered your question. If Linux sucks so bad, you won't mind scratching it ;)

Re:Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437095)

>News flash: professionals can afford to pay for software.

Just because software is free doesn't mean it sucks. There's a gaping flaw in your argument.

Examples of professionally used free software include:

- Apache
- Sendmail
- Solaris
- And many others...

BTW: Do yOu tHnInk tHis iS anNoyIng eNOUgh? Now go improve your troll or leave.

Re:Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437096)

STFU Shoeboy. You are an ignorant, fear mongering slut. You piss in Mountain Dew bottles for christ's sake. Are you not professional enough to afford a "Professional Bathroom?"

Go back to Adeqaucy [] , whore.

Yours truly,


Re:Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ (-1)

Sunken Kursk (518450) | about 13 years ago | (#2437102)

Wo w, someb ody knows how to use b o ld tags. I con gratula te you on your 3 1337 ski11z!

Re:Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437140)

c'mon man. I've seen you do much better. This troll is beneath you, actually it reminds me of goingware (except bold substituted for links).

Wine? (1)

zarathustra93 (164244) | about 13 years ago | (#2437017)

I don't think wine would cut it. Even if you could find an application that would run under WINE, the latency would be so high that you wouldn't be able to get decent performance out of it.

Why someone would want to stay away from macintosh for audio is beyond me. OS 8/9 may not have all the cool modern OS goodness, but it *is* wonderful for real time recording and processing. Granted, there are no applications at the moment for OS X, but that should change now that there is a stable OS release (i.e. 10.1)

There is a multi track recorder available for linux.....searching google now......Oh well, I can't find the program I was thinking of, but there is a good linux DAW resource here:

Sameless plug: To see how one can attain pre studio level recording on a mac, visit my tracks at

Try this: (2, Informative)

Green Aardvark House (523269) | about 13 years ago | (#2437020)

You could use Protux [] .

Even though it uses its own file format (PRAF) you can import .WAV, .OGG and .MP3 files, too.

Screen shots and more info can be found on the Protux home page. []

Commercial opportunity? (4, Insightful)

jason99si (131298) | about 13 years ago | (#2437021)

"What Open Source sound packages out there are good enough for even the professionals to use when they need to make their squeaks, squeals, and whistles."

I believe the question posed was if there were any quality sound applications for Linux, why focus solely on Open Source?

I don't like nice simple solutions... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437022)

that's why I completely shove my head up my ass and ignore the fact that Macs have dominated the audio production industry for over a decade and continue to do so.
</inserts head back up anus>

composing (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437032)

Lilypond is to Finale what LaTex is to Word.

If you are comforatble editing a rather simple text representation of music, Lilypond [] will produce beautiful scores for you.

The critical mass isn't possible in Linux (5, Insightful)

sacherjj (7595) | about 13 years ago | (#2437033)

I am a person who would love to us Linux for things, but almost every time I try, I keep getting bit by unsupported hardware or lacking features.

For $70 you can purchase Home Studio from Cakewalk (a subset of their SONAR professional package). It supports DirectX plugins (the standard now for adding third party mixes, effects, and instruments.) The amount of plugins available is mind boggling. If a Linux package doesn't support this forget it.

Also, on the hardware side. Is there any support for mixing board interfaces, or multiple in/out cards for when you need to get more than 2 channels in and out at one time?

It would be nice, but It ain't gonna happen soon. There features just aren't there.

Re:The critical mass isn't possible in Linux (1)

divbyzero (23176) | about 13 years ago | (#2437112)

There are indeed multiple sequencer projects for Linux which provide a similar user interface to Cakewalk. Many of them support LADSPA, which is a plugin interface similar though not compatible with the DirectX one which you mentioned. Most patent-free DSP algorithms in common use today have already been ported to LADSPA.

There are several, though not many professional multichannel audio cards supported under Linux under at least one of the three sound driver architectures (ALSA, OSS/Commercial, and OSS/Free).

Oh, and all of this is available and working today. Any other objections?

Re:The critical mass isn't possible in Linux (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437149)

If I had moderator status you sir would be moderated to TROLL.

Simple Linux Solution (5, Funny)

Root Down (208740) | about 13 years ago | (#2437038)

There is really a simple solution that is typically used for Linux apps. First, write C drivers for any of the devices you use to make your sounds, then implement several system calls - I recommend the latest kernel release for ease of implementation - to access the new drivers and debug. (Naturally, C code is clean enough so as to avoid any errors save for the case of the extremely novice programmer.) Recompile the new kernel after remaking your dependency files and source it in your lilo.conf file. Now, reboot and you should be all set! (Note that neither your dependencies nor your kernel may work properly, so it is best to source lilo and specify the 'once only' option.)
It's that simple! Enjoy!

Why not Mac? (1)

Dephex Twin (416238) | about 13 years ago | (#2437039)

Recently a friend of mine who is chief engineer at a medium size recording studio/radio station has become increasingly unhappy with Windows (and would like to stay away from Macs) and has asked me if there is any sort of professional audio solution for Linux.
I'm curious as to why this person wants to "stay away from Macs". It may be the best tool for the job for audio, and unless he or she has tried it, I'm not sure why it would be something to avoid.

Re:Why not Mac? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437087)

Perhaps because Mac hardware is overpriced for what you get?

Pro support seems to be very limited (2, Informative)

Chakat (320875) | about 13 years ago | (#2437045)

I'd say that you're probably going to have to wait a while to get professional level sound card (multiple analog inputs, ADAT, etc) available under Linux. Even with entry level pro sound boards, such as the Lexicon Core2, drivers are still non-existant. Linux may have good support for doing electronica, etc, but if you're doing "live" music, you've still got enough hoops you've got to jump through that it's just not worth it for the time being.

This isn't meant as a flame, or a troll, it's just the truth. It's time to start turning the screws on the big vendors to start making their high-end sound drivers available for Linux, even if they are simply binary drivers only.

Soundcard: M-Audio (4, Informative)

2ms (232331) | about 13 years ago | (#2437056)

I asked about pro soundcards once at and someone pointed me to [] - the 24-bit "audiophile" looks sweet to me.

also, on the general requests. (5, Interesting)

AtaruMoroboshi (522293) | about 13 years ago | (#2437057)

I am a serious computer music hobbyist.

I currently run Native Instrument's Reaktor, Propellorheads' Reason & Recycle, U & I's Metasynth, and Bias's Peak on an iBook and an older mac.

I would much rather use open source programs for the simple reason that they would be massively cheaper, in addition to generally being in agreement with open source ideaology.

Here is what is needed:

A good multitrack Midi and hard disk audio recording/sequencing program that is actually as powerful as Logic Audio Gold or Cubase VST 5.0. This is absolutely vital. You need a Logic Audio Platnium or Pro Tools killer to get a serious studio to consider switching to open source and away from the Macintosh.

And you need a useful, well implemented plug in architecture for both virtual instruments and effect processors.

Once you've got that, then people just need to write the virtual instruments and effect processors. :)

Seriously though, the audio stuff running on Macintosh hardware is pretty fabulous, and Mac OS X is extremely suited to audio, able to get latency as low as 1 ms (just like linux.)

real electronic musicians (2)

Marcus Brody (320463) | about 13 years ago | (#2437058)

Also, what can they use to put their created sounds together into some semblance of music?

Sticky tape & Blue tac. At least that's what Aphex Twin and Matmos use.

--In fact, the Aphex Twin, lik a real man, bulds his own analogue keyboards.

Re:real electronic musicians (1)

2ms (232331) | about 13 years ago | (#2437120)

Not anymore he doesn't. If I'm not mistaken, all his work since early 1996 has been done on a PowerMac. You can hear the difference too - even to a digital lover such as myself, a lot of the 96+ stuff sounds like it was recorded at way too low bit rate.

Unfortunately (1)

rsimmons (248005) | about 13 years ago | (#2437062)

SoundForge like software is good and all, but what you really need to write music is something like Logic Audio Platinum by emagic. It really is one of the best, except for ProTools. If you can't match the features of one of those two (or convince them to release a linux version), you will get nowhere.

Home recording for the rest of us (0)

stevenbee (227371) | about 13 years ago | (#2437063)

I don't want Cape Canaveral on my PC, I just want a Linux app that works at least as well as Cool Edit Pro for Windows! Maybe Demudi will get there someday, but right now they can't even keep their website up.

Linux/Mac's Digital Audio (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437071)

Since the dawn of digital editing, Mac's have been THE platform. But from the radio point of view, it's always been PC's (Dos or Win). What are his strong points? Does he do mostly radio where commercials need sent over a network to some automation computer?? Or Not?

Either way, Digidesign's Pro Tools is the industry standard for audio editing. About 2 years ago they DID release a WinNT version, but at any rate this is what he should consider. Especially since it will output BroadcastWave files if needed. PC / Mac file sharing, how about DAVE from Thursby Software...

Don't use windows emulators (4, Informative)

punchdrunk (257279) | about 13 years ago | (#2437072)

Emulators are generally slower than running native. Latency is the bane of pro audio software if you are trying to do anything remotely real-time (sequencing, sound sources, midi controllers, real-time audio manipulation, etc.). Since at least some of this is usually required in any pro audio situation, especially at a studio, any type of emulation is going to be a big problem. We're talking situations where milliseconds are extremely important.

BeOS (1)

PygmySurfer (442860) | about 13 years ago | (#2437074)

What about BeOS? BeOS was created from the ground-up as a "Media OS", isn't this exactly the sort of thing to use it for?

Unfortunately, BeOS' future is kind of unclear at the moment, however, I think it'd be worth it to seriously look at BeOS for this individual.

Good idea but not likely (1)

snoozerdss (303165) | about 13 years ago | (#2437075)

I'm a musician (no not famous LOL) I can tell you the standard is Protools running on a Mac. Sure Protools runs on NT but stabilty is a problem one studio did have protools on nt but switched to mac real quick. I have tried protux on linux(at home) and I can tell you it is no where near as robust as protools and it's quite ustable on my box. Also many studio types aren't exactly tech savy so installing and trouble shooting on Linux would be a problem, you'd have to bring someone else in which would cost more $$$$. I just don't see it happening, sure it would be great if protools was ported to Linux it would no doubt be more stable then it is on a mac but hardware might be a problem as well. I'm not big on Macs at all but I must say audio recording/editing is where it shines.

linux music production (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437076)

after many years of producing music using windows apps and working with linux in my spare time, and constantly waiting for a package to come around for linux that would allow me to migrate, i have yet to find any decent software packages that would give me that option. sad.. but true.


Soundforge? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437082)

Pro studios use Soundforge?

Audacity rocks. (4, Insightful)

torpor (458) | about 13 years ago | (#2437083)

And the code is really easy to get into, so if there's some itch you need scratched, Audacity is a good place to start.

Also good is Ardour, which in my opinion has a *much* greater chance of becoming the professional workstation tool that we're all looking for - there's a lot of development occurring on it, and it's already made some serious headway:

Personally, I'd advise your friend to look a bit closer at the Mac way right now, and try to put bias aside. Pursue the Linux side too, if you like, but keep a very close eye on the OSX way of life...

Mac OS X is an *excellent* operating system for professional media work, and there are some extremely exciting things on the horizon for OSX - which I can't talk about due to NDA's, alas, but I will say this: getting ready now for the release of some kickass Audio tools on OS X for June/July release next year is probably a *very* wise thing.

The advantage to this, also, is that any OSS Linux apps that are available now, may (fairly easily) be ported to OS X pretty soon ...

audacity (0)

atif_ghaffar (464452) | about 13 years ago | (#2437093)

I know nothing about mixing sounds etc, but I tried it two nights ago (couldnt sleep and didnt feel like coding).
The result is at []

Re:audacity (1)

ellem (147712) | about 13 years ago | (#2437148)

nice all it needs is a background track of some guy screaming "Mortal Kombat"

what about latency issues? (1)

wishyfish (313742) | about 13 years ago | (#2437098)

I know that one of the key factors for me in choosing a computing platform for audio work is latency... essentially, the difference in time between when an audio signal enters the computer and when the audio signal exits via, i.e., a soundcard's audio outs.

So far, I've tried to stick with Macs because of their reasonably low latency figures. However, I'd be willing to consider a switch to Linux if it, too, could guarantee me reasonably low latency figures.

Have any attempts been made to do cross-platform latency comparisons--i.e., Mac, Windows 9x/nt/2k/etc., Linux?


Some helpful places to check out: (5, Informative)

Azog (20907) | about 13 years ago | (#2437101)

From reading the Linux Audio mailing list, I can offer a quick summary: There is pretty decent hardware support for a variety of pro audio gear. See below. The software side is not quite so good. As one poster put it: "The problem is not a lack of developers for Linux Audio. The problem is that instead of two or three 90% complete software packages, we've got twelve or fifteen 20% complete packages."

That might be a little pessimistic, but there's some truth to it. However, there is usable software out there, even if it is not done. Broadcast 2000 was aimed at video editing, but was apparently useful for audio as well. Ardor is a hard disk recorder package. There's a lot of stuff out there - heck, just search Google and Sourceforge.

The ALSA project [] is an important site if you are looking for pro audio Linux drivers and software.

Now, about the hardware: [] is a place to start.

Also check out _Guide/ []

The M-Audio [] pro hardware has a lot of good cards [] - everything from an inexpensive 24 bit / 96 Khz DA /AD card all the way up to the 10 channel Delta 1010, suitable for real pro / recording work. These cards have Linux support, and is probably your best bet for really good AD / DA and Midi under Linux.

The RME Hammerfall card is also supported under Linux. Other quality hardware (from Echo and other companies) is unfortunately not so well supported.

Personally, I'm planning on getting one of the M-Audio cards just for playing with.

Well.. (2)

mindstrm (20013) | about 13 years ago | (#2437106)

Though you can probably get some decent tools in the Linux world...
Why is this person trying to 'get away' from windows... do the applications he has not work? Sound engineering is an application-specific task.. as long as the apps work, he should be fine.
Also.. why does he want to stay away from macs? macs, I believe, are the leader in digital sound engineering, no? That's like saying you want to build a huge complex network but want to stay away from Cisco.

Linux DJ (4, Interesting)

h_box (528823) | about 13 years ago | (#2437113)

I have been using Linux to DJ for about a year now at parties and as a resident at a local club. Linux IMHO is vastly superior as a performance oriented tool, due to it's efficiency and stability. Unfortunately on the music creation and creativity side of things, Windows and even the Mac are still quite a bit easier to get into.

My linux Dj configuration is an IBM thinkpad pentium 2 366. It allows me to re-mix music on the fly and send multiple soundstreams out through some external USB Digital Analog Converters. I run the channels into a standard DJ mixer where I can get twiddly with the EQ's and crossfader and the built in Kaoss effects processor. The software is called GDAM, and is available on sourceforge. Props to the geniuses who wrote the app, they have been very helpful with various problems I have had with older versions when it came to compiling. They have even implemented some of my suggestions into their code over the last year. [song searching case insensitive for example]

The whole thing is running on top of X windows, I use Blackbox to keep resource usage low, and in turn I can re-loop and remix up to 4 soundstreams on the lowly Pentium 2 366 without noticeable latency. I keep notes on my set using VI.

Of course i'm available for certain types of events worldwide. Demonstration sets are available at my website, though I imagine it will get slashdotted pretty quick so be gentle with me.

My sets []

Professional software - lawsuit 4 U (2)

heroine (1220) | about 13 years ago | (#2437114)

As far as I know, writing professional non destructive editor for free is going to expose you to liability battles because of the amount of money professionals risk on the software and the assumption that the software is going to carry their $250 million talent's voice to DVD.

The GPL is worthless at protecting you in a high cost environment like professional audio. That's why you won't see open source programmers giving out more than simple wave editors and utilities.

Best food for 12+ inch turds? (-1)

The Turd Report (527733) | about 13 years ago | (#2437116)

What is the best food to eat to get 12+ inch turds? Stuff with lots of fiber? I think that would be the obvious choice, but i am looking for examples. thanks

Linux Driver Support (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 13 years ago | (#2437126)

I don't think there really is a Linux alternative for pro-sound recording environments. Mostly due to a lack driver support for high-end sound cards. Any serious recording studio that works in the digital domiain is usually working in the realm of 24 bit, 96 kHz audio (soon to be 192 kHz audio), with sound cards with muliple I/O interfaces, and often built in MIDI. In my experiences, you can get high end sound cards working on Linux, but never with 24 bit 96 kHz audio, and rarely with all the I/O ports functioning, and more rarely with accurate MIDI timing.

I've been in the Pro-audio industry for years, and I've never heard of a studio running Linux. I've been pressuring the company I work for to come out with Linux support, but after a real cost/benefit analysis, they never go for it.

Luke Deniston
Technical Manager
Ego Sys, Inc.

Audacity (5, Informative)

Dominic_Mazzoni (125164) | about 13 years ago | (#2437128)

I can't resist making a shameless plug for my project, Audacity [] .

While Audacity is nowhere near being a complete replacement for a full set of commercial audio tools, I believe it's one of the best editors available for Linux today and has a lot of potential to be extremely competitive with commercial multitrack audio solutions within the next year or two. Here's what it has going for it:

  • It's cross-platform. We use wxWindows (but with native audio I/O code for each platform) and Audacity currently runs on Linux, Windows, MacOS (9 and X), and other Posix systems.
  • Fully non-destructive editing, using a novel blocked-file approach which caches the current mix for faster real-time playback.
  • Supports (on most sound cards) full-duplex recording - sing harmonies with yourself!
  • Import and Export MP3 files from within Audacity (using LAME for exporting)
  • Built-in effects include Bass Boost, FFT Filter, and Noise Reduction. Compression/Expansion under development. Support for VST plug-ins on Windows and MacOS, and LADSPA support is under development.
  • Unlimited number of tracks and automatic mixing. The code in CVS (not yet released) supports automatic resampling.
  • Built-in envelope editor
  • Spectrogram mode and frequency analysis tools

(For those of you who have tried the current release (0.97) and are having audio I/O problems on Linux, rest assured that the latest version in CVS has much improved audio I/O and should solve all of those problems and more...)

There are three or four active developers of Audacity, and another dozen or so people who contribute code or bug fixes from time to time. We're definitely interested in more help - visit the web site and contact us if you're a C++ whiz (or have some other skill which might be useful for us) and want to join the team!

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