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NeuStar to Manage .US Registry

michael posted more than 12 years ago | from the slashdot.us-is-a-little-too-literal dept.

The Internet 217

flatt writes: "The US Government picked NeuStar, the managers of the upcoming .biz registry, to manage the .us registry today. NeuStar has made a press release and there's an AP article over at Excite about it. Finally a country code that I'll register in." This has been brewing for a long time, and has been criticized as a giveaway.

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217 comments

I win! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500294)

Eat it, fuckers.

Re:I win! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500307)

I would have gotten FP, but I had unfortunately just posted to another topic a few seconds earlier. Smeggit X_x

Kewl! (0, Offtopic)

ekrout (139379) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500300)

Now I can get my dream domain, VALinux.biz!

Re:Kewl! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500337)

not as kewl and realistic as:

VALinux.bomb

VALinux.gone

and

VALinux.FC

How about.. (-1)

All sporks are fags (528902) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500419)

VASoftware.modparentdownbecausehesafuckingretardwh ostoostupidtoreadthefuckingfrontpageheadlinesbefor erunningforhisfr1stp0stbullshit

Wow amazing (0, Flamebait)

tomstdenis (446163) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500301)

I wonder what new technology they had to implement to handle .US

Seriously people they are LINES IN A DATABASE. It's not like they had to re-invent the internet.

Let's see

browser => DNS => IP => browser => WORLD.

So what? Our DNS servers should be able to handle any extension.

This shouldn't be news!

First .US Post! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500302)

I haven't even read the post yet, much less the article...

happy troll tuesday (-1)

Anonymous Pancake (458864) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500303)

Slashdot: "Crackheaded moderation since 1997"

Slashdot: "The ultimate troll (on the world)"

Slashdot: "Best viewed with internet explorer 6"

Slashdot: "PLEASE CLICK OUR BANNERS, VA LINUX STOCK WENT DOWN AGAIN"

Slashdot: "50% of goatse.cx referrals come from here!"

Slashdot: "We still haven't fired Jon Katz yet!"

Slashdot: "Proud home of the BSD IS DYING troll"

Slashdot: "The mecca of the web (for homosexuals!)"

Expect more to come!

crappy (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500304)

lame, so much for the possibility of a good .us domain

Early post gets the goatse (-1)

AdmlTroll (531188) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500311)

I would like to fully endorse the annexation of this article for all Trolls. Under Article 7 of the Slashdot Troll Alliance Treaty of 1997 [goatse.cx] , it clearly states that articles may be annexed if regular-user postings are of below-average quality or quantity, or if the article itself is just plain shit. Article 7 is now invoked, we are now entitled and obligated to troll the everliving shit out of this article. Long live Trolling! Four score and seven posts ago our forefathers brought forth a great troll... ...and the post by the trolls, of the trolls and for the trolls, shall not perish from the earth. On this day we say that we shall NOT be silenced! We have suffered the humiliation and degradation of bans, karmarapage, and we now say that the time has come for the line to be drawn! NO LONGER SHALL THE TROLLS LANGUISH IN THE SHADOWS OF THE EARTH, FOR TODAY IS OUR DAY, WHEN WE STAND TOGETHER TO BE COUNTED. I HAVE A DREAM, THAT ONE DAY MY LITTLE TROLL CAN POST NEXT TO HUMAN POST, WITHOUT FEARING REPRISALS AND PERSECUTION! ON THIS DAY WE STAND UP FOR OUR RIGHT'S! I am no longer banned, hooray but where I live there is only 20 minutes of Troll Tuesday left. Best get cracking! The old Troll by Glass Hammer Beneath a bridge on the eastern road And not too far from Bree, The Old Troll hides and waits for you, He'll drink your blood for tea! He'll grind your skull and make a stew And if there's anything left of you, The wolves'll feast upon your bones, The birds'll have the rest Chorus: Hi Ho and Hey Diddle-Dee Just beyond the town of Bree Tarry there and you may see the Old Troll make his supper If ya ever travel east I'm sure he'd like to meet'cha He'll share with you a heady-brew And then he'll try to eat 'cha Dwarves he thinks a dainty treat Men he likes the most to eat Hobbits he would love to try But he can never catch 'em! Chorus: Hi Ho and Hey Diddle-Dee Just beyond the town of Bree Tarry there and you may see The Old Troll make his supper

Re:Early post gets the goatse (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500400)

hail satan [goatse.cx] full of grace
hallowed be thy NAME
slashdot sucks
cmdtaco fucks (men)
VA (linux,software,engineering) down in FLLLAAMMMEEESSS

Re:Early post gets the goatse (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500520)

Sorry, but what your doing is more precisely known as a CrapFlood. True trolling is funny and intelligent. CrapFlooding is not. It's pathetic. The only troll I have any respect from is Trollificus, who at least takes the time to craft well done troll posts, unlike this purile crap.

Down with crapfloods. If your going to go through the effort of a "trolling" Tuesday, at least make it a better attempt than this

Agreed. Have a Troll instead. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500664)

An open letter to Jamie McCarthy

Dear Jamie,
There's a reason people look at you like you're some kind of goddamn freak [thehollandsentinel.net] . We're pretty sure there's other reasons you won't show your face anymore [cyber24.com] ; we've been reading slashdot long enough to remember the pictures the Holland Sentinel published of you with your slicked back greasejob haircut and hawkish little face. I remember thinking "God, I know Internet filters are bad, but the last fucking thing that is going to convince anyone of anything is this guy". You need to wash. You need to exercise. You need to get a haircut, and get a real job. Soon, VA is going to fire you, and you're going to be out in the real world. And that is going to be the shock of a fucking lifetime. You need to prepare.

As much as you delight in finding people despicable enough that you feel tormenting them is your righteous duty [holocaust-history.org] , I think it's pretty clear at this point that Michael Sims is not a Nazi. In fact, he knew the truth about you [censorware.org] long before anyone else did. You and your friends may run THE CENSORWARE PROJECT [goatse.cx] , but anyone with a lick of sense now knows that you're personally responsible for writing the Censorware code that's now built into Slashdot. Let's be extremely clear about this: you define Censorware to be "software which is designed to prevent another person from sending or receiving information (usually on the web)". And you've checked mountains of code into CVS to prevent people with dissenting opinions from sending information on the web. It meets your definition, letter for letter. And guess what? Your Censorware is just as effective as every Censorware project you have ever railed against. How effective is that?

How effective is that? That's a great question. It's effective in exactly the same way NetNanny is effective. It stops technically non-proficient people in their tracks. They become victims of a robotic system that no one understands. Get a new account on this cool site, post a comment about how you had a hard time installing Linux, and BAMMO, you and your whole subnet are banned from posting. Congratulations. But it doesn't stop the clever, does it Jamie? How many times have you written articles about how the folks at Peacefire can walk rings around an Internet filter in 10 seconds flat? Well guess what?

I just spent the whole fucking day running circles around your pathetic little Internet filter. How does it feel to be a commercial software developer paid to block people from accessing something and failing?

Your points about Censorware were something you should have listened to. You and your pathetic system are a bleeding failure. Like your opponents, you have frustrated the weak and enraged the strong. Soon, you'll lose your job, and you're going to be sitting on the other side of an oak desk with someone trying to interview you looking at you, and your resume, like this [thehollandsentinel.net] .

And that, as they say, is poetic justice.

--Everybody on K5

Changes We Are Seeing (1, Interesting)

Renraku (518261) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500319)

Money and business runs this country. Is it any coincidence that the company responsible for .biz is also responsible for .us? Is this a sign?

Re:Changes We Are Seeing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500448)

Well, it may indeed be a giveaway, but at least it wasn't given to VeriSign, right?

Re:Changes We Are Seeing (2)

1010011010 (53039) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500525)

It's a sign that Network "Solutions" won't be fucking it up anymore. Which is to say, a good sign!

"The business of America is business."
--Calvin Coolidge, Thirtieth President, 1923-1929

... of course, right after his terms were up, the business of America was more along the lines of eating shoe lint and wallpapering the outhouse with stock certificates.

Excite article... (5, Interesting)

CmdrTroll (412504) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500333)

The excite link was slashdotted but here is a summary of what it said:

  • The registry will go on-line on December 15th, 2001
  • Neustar will be partially subsidized by the US government, and will charge users $5/domain/year for .us domains
  • Neustar will be selling x.509 certificates (similar to what Verisign does) for .us domains for $75/domain/year. They have a deal with Thawte that allows them to use the Thawte certificates in most browsers today.
  • Pre-registration starts November 30th, 2001, at www.neustar.us

-CT

Re:Excite article... (3, Interesting)

1010011010 (53039) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500538)

What about us folks that are already registrars for .US domains?

It was understood in the past that delegations were to be free. How about now? I don't intend to charge for them in my "teeming metropolis" (cough), but what about others? What's the policy? Will I have my domain revoked? Will I be charged for it? Can I get myname.us?

Re:Excite article... (2)

DNS-and-BIND (461968) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500662)

Well, you could be in a situation like mine, where the registrar for my locality is completely un-responsive to any email sent about registering a domain. In my case, this will be an improvement, as I will actually be able to register a domain. I also seem to recall other localities that charge outrageous rates ($500/yr) for registration, effectively preventing anyone from registering.

Re:Excite article... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500743)

Couldn't agree more. The ISP I work at (and generally run DNS for) holds the .us domain in special loathing, because it's nearly impossible to get nameserver information for domains updated. We've got several legacy nameservers still in place that host just one or two .wi.us or .mi.us domains each because the registrars responsible for those zones are so terminally unresponsive we've yet to get anywhere after more than a year of trying to get domains moved.

To say it's a pain in the ass would be an understatement. While there are some good .us registrars out there, the system's generally a mess. The WHOIS server for the TLD has been dead for months, the list on nic.us of who domains are delegated to is way out of date, and in many cases the worthy idea of having local responsibility for regional .us domains has turned into something closer to feudalism.

Cool (2, Interesting)

_typo (122952) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500341)

Based in Washington DC, NeuStar operates the authoritative registry of all North American telephone numbers and administers the database, which all North American carriers rely upon to route billions of telephone calls daily.

These guys are cool!

What kind of hardware is this? Someone here know anything about these things?

Re:Cool (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500767)

Uh, no. Having once worked at a similar place, I can assure you that they are most assuredly not cool.

neustar? (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500344)

the managers of the upcoming .biz registry, to manage the .us registry today

you sure about that? i thought it was neulevel that was blundering, i mean managing, .biz

or maybe that's another .biz management company with a very similar name down the street. hmm

Re:neustar? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500495)

n/m ... i should have read a little more about the company. neulevel is a holding of neustar inc

happy troll tuesday everybody! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500351)

some new domains VA Linux should purchase:

VALinux.bomb

VALinux.gone

VALinux.FC

.info (1)

slug359 (533109) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500354)

Let's just pray that this lot do one hell of a lot better than .info did. What a joke, took me over a month to get a few domains registered.

Re:.info (1)

Jae (14657) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500594)


hahahah - you think it was a nightmare for you? i work for a registrar and i can't even begin to tell you the horrors that i experienced.

Hurry up already! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500362)

When will Tuesday finally be over? Stop posting stories! I'm tired of telling everyone about:

The Slashdot Privacy Watch [slashdot.org] .

An Open Letter to VA Concerning Privacy on Slashdot

To whom it may concern,
It has come to our attention that Slashdot is building a detailed database of every visitor and user of Slashdot. This database includes, among other personal details, an address history which permanently records every IP address assosciated with every Slashdot user and comment for all time. We are concerned that this database is a signifigant Intellectual Property asset that may be abused in the event of a sale of Slashdot by VA Linux to a third party.

In addition, we feel that keeping a permanent and indelible record of every IP address used to post every Anonymous comment on Slashdot erases whatever hopes of anonymity that endangered or threatened users may have had. To name two examples, Chinese dissidents and corporate insiders can have no expectation of anonymously revealing civil rights violations and corporate abuse.

It is our hope that given these concerns, VA Linux or Slashdot may choose to provide an opt-out option to users, whereby users could choose not to be tracked and profiled if they so request. Some discussion has been made of a Slashdot subscription service; perhaps one revenue stream for Slashdot would be to sell Privacy Rights. For a low yearly fee, a user could purchase the right not to be tracked, profiled, and logged by IP address.

Whatever steps are taken, it is our hope that Slashdot will address the current privacy concerns in public to allay our fears and to promote open discussion.

Thanks again for creating one of the most popular sites on the Internet, and all the best.

-The Slashdot Privacy Watch Team.


Hate to be a karma whore... (0, Offtopic)

CtrlPhreak (226872) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500364)

But people are already complaining about it being slashdotted. So here's the excite AP story.

NEW YORK (AP) - Patriotism is about to get easier online.
The Commerce Department selected NeuStar Inc. on Monday to run
domain names ending in ".us." With the announcement comes the
ability to get non-geographic addresses such as
"clothingstore.us," rather than the more cumbersome
"clothingstore.los-angeles.ca.us."
The new rules, expected to take effect early next year, are
designed to get more use out of ".us." Country code suffixes such as ".fr" for France have been sources of national pride
worldwide, but in the United States it is the forgotten stepchild compared with ".com."
NeuStar officials are hoping to change that attitude and said
recent terrorism events may give ".us" even more of a boost.
"The fact is right now, ... American identification is of
increased importance," said Jeff Ganek, NeuStar's chairman and
chief executive.
Also Monday, the department announced a five-year agreement with
Educause, a nonprofit consortium, to run the ".edu" suffix.
Community colleges will be able to claim ".edu" names
beginning Nov. 12. In the past, ".edu" was limited primarily to four-year colleges and universities in the United States.
The ".us" domain name will be restricted to U.S. residents and
companies or organizations that operate in the United States,
though the system will rely partly on self-certification and isn't
foolproof.
Many details also remain unresolved.
Public-interest groups worry that ".us" - historically the
domain of state or local governments, nonprofit organizations and schools - will become yet another frontier dominated by commercial
interests.
"A lot of people are very supportive of opening `.us' for more
commercial, small business and individual use," said Alan Davidson, associate director for the Center for Democracy and
Technology. "What's tricky is how you make sure the policies ...
are fair and equitable."
NeuStar officials said existing ".us" users will get to keep
their names, and local entities that now assign geographically oriented names like "anyname.los-angeles.ca.us" can continue
doing so.
In addition, a number of names have been set aside, including
"kids.us" as a possible children's channel and "parks.us" as a
central resource for parks in the United States.
The company will establish a policy advisory council to address
usage issues, said James Casey, NeuStar's director of policy and
business development. The council's composition and other details
are still pending.
In the past, ".us" policy was handled by the University of
Southern California's Information Sciences Institute, which delegated assignments of specific names to some 800 individuals and
organizations.
To accommodate the distributed assignments, names became long
and cumbersome. It was also difficult to figure out where to go to
get them. Though businesses were allowed to claim ".us" names,
few did.
The change in ".us" is separate from last year's decision by
the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers to create
seven Internet suffixes to relieve overcrowding in ".com."
A NeuStar subsidiary, NeuLevel Inc., is the operator of
".biz," one of the new suffixes. NeuStar's ".us" database will
share some of the security and technical developments being used in
".biz."
NeuStar, based in Washington, D.C., also runs databases of area
codes and telephone prefixes for the nation's phone system.
The Commerce contract with NeuStar will run four years, with
options for two one-year extensions

BULLSHIT! noone was complaining, karma whore!! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500466)

You aren't sorry, you are a blatant karma whore. Moderators, Mod this down, Noone said it was being slashdotted, and as you can see moderators, it's handling the load quite nicely. Try and gain your pathetic karma somewhere else, loser!

commie bastards! (-1)

ArchieBunker (132337) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500366)

To whom it may concern,
It has come to our attention that Slashdot is building a detailed database of every visitor and user of Slashdot. This database includes, among other personal details, an address history which permanently records every IP address assosciated with every Slashdot user and comment for all time. We are concerned that this database is a signifigant Intellectual Property asset that may be abused in the event of a sale of Slashdot by VA Linux to a third party.

In addition, we feel that keeping a permanent and indelible record of every IP address used to post every Anonymous comment on Slashdot erases whatever hopes of anonymity that endangered or threatened users may have had. To name two examples, Chinese dissidents and corporate insiders can have no expectation of anonymously revealing civil rights violations and corporate abuse.

It is our hope that given these concerns, VA Linux or Slashdot may choose to provide an opt-out option to users, whereby users could choose not to be tracked and profiled if they so request. Some discussion has been made of a Slashdot subscription service; perhaps one revenue stream for Slashdot would be to sell Privacy Rights. For a low yearly fee, a user could purchase the right not to be tracked, profiled, and logged by IP address.

Whatever steps are taken, it is our hope that Slashdot will address the current privacy concerns in public to allay our fears and to promote open discussion.

Thanks again for creating one of the most popular sites on the Internet, and all the best.

-The Slashdot Privacy Watch Team

TROLL TUESDAY :D :D :D (-1)

AdmlTroll (531188) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500377)

I would like to fully endorse the annexation of this article for all Trolls.
Under Article 7 of the Slashdot Troll Alliance Treaty of 1997, it clearly states that articles may be annexed if regular-user postings are of below-average quality or quantity, or if the article itself is just plain shit.
Article 7 is now invoked, we are now entitled and obligated to troll the everliving shit out of this article.

Long live Trolling!

Four score and seven posts ago our forefathers brought forth a great troll...
...and the post by the trolls, of the trolls and for the trolls, shall not perish from the earth.

On this day we say that we shall NOT be silenced! We have suffered the humiliation and degradation of bans, karmarapage, and we now say that the time has come for the line to be drawn! NO LONGER SHALL THE TROLLS LANGUISH IN THE SHADOWS OF THE EARTH, FOR TODAY IS OUR DAY, WHEN WE STAND TOGETHER TO BE COUNTED. I HAVE A DREAM, THAT ONE DAY MY LITTLE TROLL CAN POST NEXT TO HUMAN POST, WITHOUT FEARING REPRISALS AND PERSECUTION! ON THIS DAY WE STAND UP FOR OUR RIGHT'S!

I am no longer banned, hooray but where I live there is only 20 minutes of Troll Tuesday left. Best get cracking!

The old Troll by Glass Hammer

Beneath a bridge on the eastern road
And not too far from Bree,
The Old Troll hides and waits for you,
He'll drink your blood for tea!

He'll grind your skull and make a stew
And if there's anything left of you,
The wolves'll feast upon your bones,
The birds'll have the rest

Chorus:
Hi Ho and Hey Diddle-Dee
Just beyond the town of Bree
Tarry there and you may see
the Old Troll make his supper
If ya ever travel east
I'm sure he'd like to meet'cha
He'll share with you a heady-brew
And then he'll try to eat 'cha

Dwarves he thinks a dainty treat
Men he likes the most to eat
Hobbits he would love to try
But he can never catch 'em!

Chorus:
Hi Ho and Hey Diddle-Dee
Just beyond the town of Bree
Tarry there and you may see
The Old Troll make his supper

Propz go to :cyborg_monkey, spork nation, trollman 5000, trolligula, trollaxor, dead fart warrior and sunken kursk

Day-o, day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and you bomb our home
Day-o, day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and you bomb our home

Public enemy number one
Daylight come and you bomb our home
Big mistake, we gotta lotta gun
Daylight come and you bomb our home
Day-o, day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and you bomb our home
Day-o, day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and you bomb our home

Come, Afghan Taliban, gather up bin Laden
Or daylight come, we gonna bomb your home
Come, Afghan Taliban, gather up bin Laden
Or daylight come, we gonna bomb your home
Day-o, day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come, we gonna bomb your home
Day-o, day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come, we gonna bomb your home

Grow six inch, seven inch, eight inch beard
Daylight come and we bomb your home
Grow six inch, seven inch, eight inch beard
Daylight come and we bomb your home

You say you do it cause it in Koran-a
Daylight come and you bomb our home
Destroy the symbols of Americana
Daylight come and you bomb our home
Crash the plane and here come Nirvana
Daylight come and you bomb our home
End up in hell because you are insana
Daylight come and we bomb your home

Drop six foot, seven foot, eight foot bomb
Daylight come and you have no home
Drop six foot, seven foot, eight foot bomb
Daylight come and you have no home
Day, it sad day-ay-ay-o
Daylight come and you bomb our home
Day, me sad day, me sad day, me sad day,
Daylight come and we bomb your home

Now! Register your domains! (4, Funny)

afree87 (102803) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500381)

http://dont.slashdot.us/

http://please.kug.us/

h ttp://nimda.vir.us/

Re:Now! Register your domains! (5, Funny)

TeknoHog (164938) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500560)

all.your.base.are.belong.to.us

(no http:// coz I fail to understand what it has to do with domain names)

Re:Now! Register your domains! (-1)

tristan f. (259738) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500728)

Wow, sir. You have an unhealthy obsession with that game. I suggest the care and counseling of a professional, or better yet, suicide.

Re:Now! Register your domains! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500619)

An open letter to Jamie McCarthy

Dear Jamie,
There's a reason people look at you like you're some kind of goddamn freak [thehollandsentinel.net] . We're pretty sure there's other reasons you won't show your face anymore [cyber24.com] ; we've been reading slashdot long enough to remember the pictures the Holland Sentinel published of you with your slicked back greasejob haircut and hawkish little face. I remember thinking "God, I know Internet filters are bad, but the last fucking thing that is going to convince anyone of anything is this guy". You need to wash. You need to exercise. You need to get a haircut, and get a real job. Soon, VA is going to fire you, and you're going to be out in the real world. And that is going to be the shock of a fucking lifetime. You need to prepare.

As much as you delight in finding people despicable enough that you feel tormenting them is your righteous duty [holocaust-history.org] , I think it's pretty clear at this point that Michael Sims is not a Nazi. In fact, he knew the truth about you [censorware.org] long before anyone else did. You and your friends may run THE CENSORWARE PROJECT [goatse.cx] , but anyone with a lick sense now knows that you're personally responsible for writing the Censorware code that's now built into Slashdot. Let's be extremely clear about this: you define Censorware to be "software which is designed to prevent another person from sending or receiving information (usually on the web)". And you've checked mountains of code into CVS to prevent people with dissenting opinions from sending information on the web. It meets your definition, letter for letter. And guess what? Your Censorware is just as effective as every Censorware project you have ever railed against. How effective is that?

How effective is that? That's a great question. It's effective in exactly the same way NetNanny is effective. It stops technically non-proficient people in their tracks. They become victims of a robotic system that no one understands. Get a new account on this cool site, post a comment about how you had a hard time installing Linux, and BAMMO, you and your whole subnet are banned from posting. Congratulations. But it doesn't stop the clever, does it Jamie? How many times have you written articles about how the folks at Peacefire can walk rings around an Internet filter in 10 seconds flat? Well guess what?

I just spent the whole fucking day running circles around your pathetic little Internet filter. How does it feel to be a commercial software developer paid to block people from accessing something and failing?

Your points about Censorware were something you should have listened to. You and your pathetic system are a bleeding failure. Like your opponents, you have frustrated the weak and enraged the strong. Soon, you'll lose your job, and you're going to be sitting on the other side of an oak desk with someone trying to interview you looking at you, and your resume, like this [thehollandsentinel.net] .

And that, as they say, is poetic justice.

--Everyone Else on Slashdot

Re:Now! Register your domains! (-1)

tristan f. (259738) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500749)

Wow, check our the expression (and the tits) on that woman who's staring at him. She looks... revulsed.

new TLD's (5, Funny)

rossdee (243626) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500383)

"The US Government picked NeuStar, the managers of the upcoming .biz registry, to manage the .us registry today."

So will there also be a .them TLD ?

Re:new TLD's (2)

Bios_Hakr (68586) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500773)

Well, there IS a .it domain. seems like you could have a lot of fun there. Any other pronoun TLDs out there?

BTW, what are the rules behind grabbing a domain in a country that isn't yours? It seems to me that if your physical server is outside of the USA, you should not be able to reg a .us.

Of course, that opens up questions about load-balancing techniques and back-end servers, but my guess it that every porn site in the Cayman Islands will have a "cum.c.us" as soon as possible.

only us residents (0)

Psychopax (525557) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500395)

Again a ccTLD which is only of use for residents of this country. That's not fair - why is my country then giving away it's domain to people all around the world?
In my opinion this should be standarized. So that all ccTLDs are open for everybody.
j.

Re:only us residents (5, Insightful)

rfc1394 (155777) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500542)

Again a ccTLD which is only of use for residents of this country.
As the actual owner of a .US domain for more than two years now, that's not my understanding, I believe that .US has always been open to anyone who wants to register a compliant address. (Compliant means it has to be under a 2-character state and a specific city in that state). In fact, you don't even have to be where the domain is named; for example, my domain is listed as Washington, DC, but I do not live there (I live about 5 miles from Washington in another state). When I filled out the application with the nic for .US, which then was ISI at the University of Southern California (USC-ISI), I put down my address in Virginia and was issued the domain name the next day.
That's not fair - why is my country then giving away it's domain to people all around the world?
Doubtful that there are very many people outside of the US would want to bother with a .US address. I only got it because they're free, and basically about the only ones getting them are organizations tied to a specific city and state (local governments) and people or companies who are (to put it bluntly), cheapskates like me. The price of "free" was a lot more affordable for me when I wasn't working, as opposed to the (then exorbitant) $35 a year for a .COM or other TLD address.
In my opinion this should be standarized. So that all ccTLDs are open for everybody.
A country code TLD is subject to whatever rules that the country code agency of that country decides. You can't get a ham radio license in a particular country unless you follow its rules and there's no reason that whomever runs a particular TLD can't set rules on who can apply or what they can get.

Since most countries are charging for domains in their TLD the domain operator usually sees it as a profit center, and with the exception of the few remaining communist countries - and maybe some of them, too - I suspect you can get a registration in just about any country's tld whether or not you live there.

Paul Robinson <Postmaster@paul.washington.dc.us [mailto] >

OT: The true origins of CmdrTaco. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500403)

Of course, there's the "state-sanctioned" version of how Rob "CmdrTaco"
Malda got his most peculiar nickname ("'CmdrTaco' is a reference to a Dave
Barry article where he lists places not to take a date. Among them is any
place called 'The Commander Taco' or something like that.") and then there's
the real reason for said nickname.
In order to explain it, we'll need to hop into the time machine and step
back a few years to when Mr. Malda was still but a wee pup in college. So
I'd like to take you back to the early 90's.
Rob was fresh out of Catholic high school, with dozens of years of Catholic
guilt impressed upon and built up inside him. He'd snored his way through
high school, tinkering around with nothing more than computers. Fact of the
matter is that most girls don't like geeks and he was too repressed to
figure out a way to approach those of the fairer sex. For that matter, he
was even afraid to touch himself. Based on what little sex ed had been
taught in school, he knew better than to engage in premarital copulation or
let his seed touch the ground, lest he burn in hell or suffer the fate of
Onan. It wasn't the bullying and the scornful glances that were the worst
torture of high school, it was waking up in the middle of the night, his
genitals throbbing, gritting his teeth, and clenching his perineum to abate
the oncoming rush of verboten relief (after his mom found his stained
underwear once, he had learned better).
But college represented the ultimate to a scrawny kid who wasn't quite sure
how to play well with others. It was the chance to meet completely new
people and to completely reinvent himself, a rebirth of sorts. And what
kind of rebirth would it be? The kind that meant he would (finally) get
chicks. Catholic guilt be damned! He'd heard that throbbing in his loins
loud and clear and it was finally time to do something about it. But how?
The answer was clear: in addition to the obvious major in computer science,
he'd pick up a minor in art. Women would look at him and see not
only the provider instincts that comp sci implied, but a sensitive heart and
a mind with a flair for aesthetics as well, a heart with art in it. What
lady could possibly resist such a formidable combination?
Unfortunately, all of them. A little scribble on paper saying you know art
is no replacement for the ability to clearly communicate that you love it as
he was finding out. Things at college were no different than in high
school. The girls were still hung up on the football players, leaving him
struggling to make a saving throw vs. pathetic geekdom. He discovered the
concept of alcohol, figuring that cracking a sixer and his inhibitions meant
that he'd be cracking their legs, but again, he turned into nothing but an
incoherent mess.
A year went by and no luck, aside from ridding himself of some Catholic
guilt: the liberal nature of campus and the wonders of the nascent world
wide web meant that with a little (very little) peer interaction skirting
around the subject and lonely hours in the dead of night on weekends when
his roommates were out presumably dipping their wicks meant that he'd
finally been able to overcome his irrational fear of masturbation. And boy,
did he ever.
Saying that he took to it like a fish to water was an understatement: he
masturbated as if he honestly believed that if he did it enough, he'd win a
prize. Unfortunately discovering Usenet, he learned all manner of deviant
masturbatory practices, of course convincing himself that it was all OK and
that this was just practice for when he finally met Ms. Right, etc., etc.
You can justify some things to yourself, but there shouldn't be any way to
rationally justify getting your penis lodged in a beaker. Stupid stupid!
What was he thinking? But the guy on alt.sex.masturbation had said that the
sensation of a penis displacing a beaker full of warm olive oil was the most
"realistic" feeling ever, so who was he to doubt? It was a heart pounding
few minutes waiting to return to his normal, pitifully small flaccid state,
hoping that his roommate wouldn't return to find him in such a grotesque
state. His roommate was, of course, aware that Rob was wacking it like it
was going out of style, but while that was mildly normal, there was
something horribly wrong about having your member painfully lodged in a
glass beaker. But things there all worked out and the beaker replaced his
normal jitrag "hidden" underneath his bed. He even jokingly contemplated
submitting the beaker half-full of swirled olive oil and rank seed as an art
project, but thankfully thought better of it.
This was all foreplay to what would give him his nickname forever. Perusing
alt.sex.masturbation after he'd mauled himself one afternoon while his
roommate was still out, he came upon a life-changing post: the most
realistic sex sensation, ever, guaranteed. Dozens of replies to the
post over the next few days verifying that this was indeed the best thing
since sliced bread assuaged his fears that this would turn into another
Beaker Incident. So for the first time ever, Rob set out to the hardware
store. Having picked up a small length of modestly gauged PVC piping, it
was off to the supermarket to procure some liver.
When he burst back into his room, rosy-cheeked and visibly excited, his
roommate and a few of his friends began to cruelly inquire about why he had
some piping and liver. Malda, somewhere between stutter and a mumble,
blurted out some half-assed explaination about "Maxwell's Demon" and
"passive heating". They laughed and headed on out to "throw some brews back
and nail some broads". Malda waited the longest five minutes of his life
until he was convinced that they were gone, then snuck down to the microwave
to heat up the liver for the longest 45 seconds of his life. Sprinting with
the foul organ in tow back to his room, he stuffed the liver into the PVC
pipe and then stuffed his foul organ inside of it. So amazing was
the sensation that it provided that he copulated with the homebrewed
artificial vagina multiple four more times that evening, finally passing out
with the semen-laced liver-stuffed pipe leaking all manner of horrible
fluids leaking onto his sheets. With a start, he woke in the middle of the
night, scrambling furiously to hide the pipe, dispose of the pearly
mistake-covered liver, and then wash his sheets. His roommate and his
friends stumbled in while he was washing the sheets, and they cruelly
inquired if he'd shat the bed or what. He responded that he'd had a bit too
much to drink and had puked on it. They gave each other knowing glances,
shoved him aside and went back to their respective rooms.
So Malda's love affair with a pipe and some liver continued unabated, and
things were going well: in one of his art classes, he'd even managed to tell
a (not even remotely attractive) girl that he was a comp sci major and an
art minor, and was patting himself on the back for a job well done. He
returned to his room high on life and ready for a few rounds with the
liverpipe, and so thought nothing of it when his roommate invited him over
to dinner at his friend's place. He accepted, thrusted to fruition in his
unholy contraption, cleaned up after himself and then took a shower and a
nap before getting up to head to dinner over at his roommate's friend's
house.
He showed up at six prompt, and they began by cracking open a few Coronas
and watching some TV. It was Mexican night, they informed him. Nachos and
tacos: what would he like? Tacos, he responded.
At the dinner table (OK, huddled around the TV), Malda was talking with
excitement in his voice about how he'd unearthed some of his old disks with
shareware classics like Duke Nuke 'Em, Jumpman, Tapper and Commander Keen on
them and had been playing them all afternoon. One of the guys snickered and
he asked if they weren't into old games.
"*snicker* Hey, uh. Guys. Do these tacos taste a little funky to you?"
"*snicker* Yeah, a little bit."
Rob looked around, not quite getting the gist of it and responded "These
taste fine. Why?"
As his roommate burst out laughing, one of the guys said "Yeah. I sort
of... ran out of meat and I had to make your tacos with this piece of meat I
found in the garbage near your roommate's room. But don't worry. It was
all wrapped up and so it wasn't dirty... COMMANDER TACO!!"
It was then, with a sinking feeling in his stomach, that he realized that
he'd been fed a piece of liver that he'd been intimate with only hours
before. He ran out of the apartment crying and failed his classes for the
rest of the semester, getting enough counseling and living in enough denial
afterwords that he managed to graduate in 4 1/2 years like a real trooper.
So why would he choose such an embarassing nickname for a website he decided
to run shortly thereafter, you ask? Who knows? Brainfart, Freudian slip,
self-deprecation, therapy, anybody's guess, really. On the bright side,
it's one less question that those pesky reporters will have to ask him about
the meaning behind his name, right?

Hey, I've got an idea! (3, Funny)

Anml4ixoye (264762) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500415)

Let's just open up every single TLD to whoever wants to take it! No reason .edu should mean that it is a university, or that .org should be an organization, or that any of the TLDs should stay what they were meant for!

I can see it now. We are already having to fight over two TLD's (one that was squatted (.com) and one that was given to the wrong people (.co.hillsborough.fl.us). Now we are going to have to buy and maintain 17 seperate web addresses just to point them all to one server so that people can find us. Great! Can't wait!

I know this has been mentioned before, but what is the point of opening up the TLDs? Companies are just going to have to buy the ones (or sue to steal them back) that infringe upon them. So why not leave them alone?

Not at all! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500598)

what is the point of opening up the TLDs? Companies are just going to have to buy the ones (or sue to steal them back) that infringe upon them. So why not leave them alone?

I don't know what you're talking about. I, personally, am thrilled that I can finally buy BurgerKing.us, Starbucks.us and Citibank.us. An end to the coporate stranglehold!

Re:Hey, I've got an idea! (2)

Doomdark (136619) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500723)

Why would anyone have to register 17 domains? IP-names are not search mechanism; they are not meant to be all-encompassing taxonomy for web sites. If you want to get to a company's web page, you shouldn't have to resort to guessing dns - spelling, nor domain. Search using Google, go to Yahoo, check it out company's/organization's ads, whatever.

Relying on DNS to act as your portal is stupid. It would be best for all if TLDs were completely open, but there would be suggestions (by W3C or IETF) for 'official' ones. Some people really just love the idea of artificial scarcity of technically unlimited resources, like domain names.

word docs (0, Troll)

dirtyeye (322393) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500429)

It seems a bit strange that a goverment agency, on the subject of combining all americans under one roof, would require that they all be running ms word to fully understand what they have to say - doesn't it?

Re:word docs (1)

thelenm (213782) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500454)

Strange but true, I know of another certain large organization that would like to combine all Americans under one roof, and would require them to be running MS Word as well.

An International Internet (5, Interesting)

Embedded Geek (532893) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500435)

So, is this (the use of .US domains) going to be a step towards a more international Internet, even a baby step?

I know that people (esp in the mainstream press) marvel at how global the Internet is, but the fact is that it is inherently biased towards people in the US. Personally, unless I have reason to think otherwise (e.g. oxford.edu, moscowballet.org, airfrance.com, etc) I (incorrectly) tend to assume that a domain is on my side of the pond (or Pacific, or Canadian or Mexican border). It strikes me as unfair that a business running in the UK realistcally has to grab both .co.uk and .com domains to be sure that they reach their (UK) customers while I could simply buy eds-taco-palace.com and everyone knows it's in the States.

On the gripping hand... if we are entering an era of U.S. hedgmony, perhaps this skewed view is appropriate. After all, if the Romans had the Internet, would they have confided themselves to a ".rmn" country code?

PS - Random thought - imagine IP addresses in Rome: ccv.xcv.xxx.ii. But then they'd have had to cross the Atlantic and conquer the Aztecs to get zero and make it work...

Re:An International Internet (2, Troll)

devphil (51341) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500479)

while I could simply buy eds-taco-palace.com and everyone knows it's in the States.

That's because only we Americans have lousy enough taste to both:

  • Name a business "Ed's Taco Palace," and
  • Register a globally-visible domain for something so inherently local.

:-)

Re:An International Internet (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500545)

fucking american idiot.

Re:An International Internet (1)

nsample (261457) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500607)

Thank gawd the Romans were smart enough to know that the Hindus had zero... and lived a lot closer.

Re:An International Internet (1)

Embedded Geek (532893) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500711)

Dho! 'Guess this is why American schooling gets such a bad rap. Not that my High School gave me incorrect information, but that I slipped through quality control able to forget about the Hindus. ;)

PS - After writting the above, I noticed another "US-ism." Specifically, the use of "American" for "relating to the United States," as opposed to the many other residents of North and South America. In defense, I'm tempted to point out the use of the term "Norteamericano" in Mexico for refering to us gringos (even though Mexico is in North America), but I'm scared because I leaned that in High School, as well.

Re:An International Internet (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500725)

You slipped another one in there.

Mexico is in Central America. ;-)

Re:An International Internet (1)

ergo98 (9391) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500772)

Hehe, I believe that technically Mexico is a part of North America (i.e. NAFTA includes Mexico. . Many people separate it from the US & Canada not because of geographical reasons, but rather economic reasons: It's easier to say North America and mean the US & Canada.

Re:An International Internet (2, Insightful)

dachshund (300733) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500624)

It strikes me as unfair that a business running in the UK realistcally has to grab both .co.uk and .com domains to be sure that they reach their (UK) customers while I could simply buy eds-taco-palace.com and everyone knows it's in the States.

I think the unfairness cuts the other way. A UK business could at least buy a .co.uk address, and be sure they weren't competing with the whole world for it. American businesses, on the other hand, have had to compete with everyone on the planet to secure a .com.

Having said that, I don't imagine that too many people have cried themselves to sleep over these issues.

Re:An International Internet (2, Interesting)

kimihia (84738) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500655)

Good post.

The reason for choosing an international domain over a local domain has two reasons:

  • People are too dumb to remember the ccTLD. When I say my website is at "kimihia.org.nz", most people take that to mean my website is at "kimihia.org". I did register the .org TLD version for one of my websites because that was where a large portion of my visitors were arriving from.
  • People are too dumb to realise the net is international. How many times do you have to explain that yes, anybody anywhere (*) can host a .nz domain, and anybody anywhere can access a .nz domain? It isn't just limited (like most consumer's minds) to one country!

* Unless you are unable to get a 'net connection from where you are. :-)

Are you sure? (1)

bagel (78837) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500660)

but the fact is that it is inherently biased towards people in the US. Personally, unless I have reason to think otherwise (e.g. oxford.edu, moscowballet.org, airfrance.com, etc) I (incorrectly) tend to assume that a domain is on my side of the pond

Or maybe this is just another example of how americans think they're the centre of the internet. Do you know the rest of the world loves getting the .coms as well? For example, almost all hong kong's (where my parents live) sites are .com except for governments and universities. This is an indication how hkers aren't really that patriotic. Can you tell me that these are american sites

www.she.com
www.tom.com
www.singtao.com
www.mingpao.com

Even new zealand is getting its dose of local .com sites now, eg www.nzoom.com

Another reason to switch to linux. . . (0, Offtopic)

havardi (122062) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500443)

The Government actually has to hire a company to restore damaged registry files. That makes me want to *puke*

Isn't slashdot sad? (-1, Offtopic)

s3ndk3yz (530987) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500455)

I once thought slashdot was a great place for intelligent conversations, but any website that has an entire day of the week dedicated to people flaming each other is pretty 14m3. Where have all the slashdorks gone?

CmdrTaco's Tiny Dick Is Dying (-1)

WeatherTroll (529760) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500459)

CmdrTaco's tiny dick is collapsing in complete disarray.

You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict CmdrTaco's tiny dick's future. The hand writing is on the wall: CmdrTaco's tiny dick faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for CmdrTaco's tiny dick because CmdrTaco's tiny dick is dying. Things are looking very bad for CmdrTaco's tiny dick. As many of us are already aware, CmdrTaco's tiny dick continues to lose market share. CmdrTaco's bloody semen from his tiny dick flows like a river of blood.

Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

Slashdot trolls have determined that there are 7000 users of JonKatz tiny dick. How many users of Hemos' tiny dick are there? Let's see. The number of JonKatz versus Hemos posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 Hemos dick users. CmdrTaco's tiny dick fantasy posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of Hemos' tiny dick posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of CmdrTaco's tiny dick. A recent article put non-slashdot homos at about 80 percent of the gay tiny dick market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 non-slasdot tiny dick users. This is consistent with the number of non-slashdot gay tiny dick Usenet posts.

Due to the troubles of slashdot, shrinkage of CmdrTaco's already miniscule dick and so on, CmdrTaco's tiny dick declared bankruptcy and forced CmdrTaco to go into street prositiution. Now since that enterprise is also dead with CmdrTaco's tiny dick turned over to another charnel house.

All major surveys show that CmdrTaco's tiny dick has steadily declined in market share. CmdrTaco's tiny dick is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CmdrTaco's tiny dick is to survive at all it will be among gay hobbyist tiny dick users. CmdrTaco's tiny dick continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save his tiny dick at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CmdrTaco's tiny dick is dead.

At last !! (???) (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500467)

".US will play a key role in America's 21st century communication infrastructure. A great opportunity exists to unlock the potential of the .US domain to the benefit of the American people."

Wow! at last, all americans will get a normal life. How would be the next century without this remarkable human and technological accomplishment...

Says it all, doesn't it... (2)

Valdrax (32670) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500469)

I think this says it all:

The new rules, expected to take effect early next year, are designed to get more use out of ".us." Country code suffixes such as ".fr" for France have been sources of national pride worldwide, but in the United States it is the forgotten stepchild compared with ".com."

How CmdrTaco got his name (-1)

WeatherTroll (529760) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500470)

How did CmdrTaco get his name?

The story goes something like this. Rob Malda always liked tacos. He would eat them every day. Like most Mexican food, it gave Rob lots of farts and shit coming out of his ass. The farts stank everything up so much so that Hemos (the name Hemos as we know came from the two words he and homos) and the rest complained constantly. The only relief was when RMS would come over to suck their dicks since RMS stank worse than Rob since he hasn't taken a bath or shower in over 20 years.

The other problem was the piles of shit coming out of Rob's ass. The toilet was always clogged meaning that JonKatz would have to piss and shit outside. Needless to say the neighbors did not appricate this leading to JonKatz's arrest many times. (It's too bad that he wasn't kept in jail.) This problem was eventually solved by letting JonKatz shit out stories on slashdot. What??? You thought that JonKatz's stories came from a part of his body other than his ass????

It was later discovered that Rob was a toilet slave. He enjoyed eating other people's shit. Instead the rest of them force fed him his own shit. Thus, he commanded the taco for its entire life cycle earning the name Commander Taco. This was later shortened to CmdrTaco.

"Dot-US" and XRP/BEEP data point (4, Interesting)

Kris Magnusson (115926) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500471)

Note that the article stated that the NeuLevel subsidiary will share some of the security and technical developments used in ".biz."

Hopefully one of these shared technical developments will be the reuse of the eXtensible Registry Protocol (XRP), which is defined as a profile for the Internet-standard BEEP framework [ietf.org] . NeuStar used hardened implementations of the BEEP framework, called "Beepcore," that my former employer Invisible Worlds developed under contract.

I don't know of any open source implementations for XRP, but these Beepcore implementations [beepcore.org] are available as free software under a BSD-style license at Beepcore.org [beepcore.org] .

............ kris

Kris Magnusson
(formerly marketing and developer relations manager for Invisible Worlds)

Everyone's got a way to take advantage of 9-11 (2, Funny)

filrock (71729) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500472)

NeuStar officials are hoping to change that attitude and said recent terrorism events may give ".us" even more of a boost.

"The fact is right now, ... American identification is of increased importance," said Jeff Ganek, NeuStar's chairman and chief executive.

Be patriotic! Get your .us domain now! You're not in with Osama are you? Then you better make sure everyone that looks at your URL can tell you're american!

.us domain (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500477)

The main reasons I've really liked the .us domain is 1) it's free; and 2) assignment of domain names is completely local and decentralized. The guy in charge of administering my records lives here in the same town as I, and has been real quick about changin ip associations when I've needed to do so (like 2-hour turnaround). I've been using my domain (bullcreek.austin.tx.us -- i'm not an anonymous coward, I just don't like registering) for many years now. Not sure I like the idea of paying 5 bucks for what has been free, and turning over admin to some faceless corporation that's *very* likely to be less responsive than what I've been used to.

OPEN SOURCE PROGRAMMERS STINK!!!!!!!! (-1)

WeatherTroll (529760) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500478)

OPEN SOURCE PROGRAMMERS STINK

Slashot admits the truth here:
http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=01/10/25/2192 51 &mode=thread

As we already know open source programmers stink, both at their jobs, and in general. Take RMS for instance. He can't get a job as a real programmer so he starts the FSF. He also hasn't taken a bath or shower in over 20 years making him stink in general. Living in a dark cave doesn't help either. I don't want to know what is crawling around in his hair.

I'm sure there are people at your office who are just like RMS if they can hold their jobs. You know they are close because you can smell them. You are spending hours of overtime fixing their code.

For anyone reading this post none of this is a suprise. However, slashdot is a bastion of open source programmers. That is why the code is so bad, and its the only website that you can smell over the internet because it reaks!!!!

What was suprising to me (and to you I'm sure) was that slashdot admitted in the above linked article that open source programmers stink.

I commend slashdot for admitting the brutal yet honest truth.

Dearest Michael (-1, Troll)

Shoeboy (16224) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500484)

I am more than capable of making an on topic post here, but I shan't. Instead I'd like to take a moment to talk about my cock, if I may, to familiarize you with the events that are about to take place. It resembles nothing in shape so much as a fire extinguisher; a red cylinder with a circumference about equal to a petri dish and as long as a regulation yardstick, networked with throbbing veins big enough to drive a Matchbox car through, and topped by a nearly luminescent magnificent red head, as big as a mid-size cantaloupe and covered in skin the consistency of #4 grain sandpaper. I could fit your little sister's arm in my urethra.

So I'll come over to your house, introduce yourself to your Mom and talk a little bit about what I'm going to do to your anus, lay down some tarps on the floor, and commence what will no doubt be the crowning achievement of your life, even better than censoring slashdot. I will sodomize you like God was riding on my shoulder whispering instructions into my ear, Mr. Sims, and this is how it'll be done.

When i was dating a girl who rather enjoyed being fisted, the first thing I learned was how to 'make the ducky,' or shape your hand into a position that could slip into the vagina with the least resistance. Then, when entrance had been achieved, the position of the hand was changed to a fist to offer more stimulus. Unfortunately, my teenage ass-toy, my cock cannot make the ducky. It's just going to have to use brute pelvic force to stretch your brown-walled turd canal to it's utmost. You may wish to practice in the intervening hours with King Cobra malt beverage bottles, just to reduce the intense, searing pain a notch or two.

There will be pain, however, and I am not cruel. I will provide you with a damp rag to clutch between your teeth, muffling the grunts and lamentations from your mouth. One would think that my pleasure would be reduced from this measure, but I must confess that I find the sounds of your rupturing colon and the gases escaping sufficiently erotic to continue my explorations. Once my cock has reached it's limit, buried deep inside you like Grant in Grant's Tomb, the true sex will begin. You and I will bond like few men can, and I may finally come to know your affection for censorship, whcih I have never supported and never will, and you will begin to know the blinding joy of forced male sodomy.

And, as few people know (well, actually, Vladinator knows, as my pimp, and spiralx of course, and John Katz from that time in the bunker when we both thought we were going to die, and Elby and Jelerial of course know in exchange for the free hosting, and CmdrTaco, Hemos, Jamie, Timothy and Pudge know as valued johns, and as Rusty knows because he's from the Kur0shin.org and I fucked him), my penis is covered in a number of barbs, much like a dog's, and during coitus, these prevent my unit from slipping out of the blood-lubricated hole and disrupting my tearing rhythm. Upon orgasm, as pints of spooge rocket out of my pee-hole, burning through whatever they encounter like that burny stuff in the Alien movies, the barms withdraw and my flaccid member can resume it's rightful place in my pants.

Unfortunately, Michael Sims, once I had worked my monster cock all the way up your digestive system, your immense, man-tittied disgustingness would make it impossible for me to ever have an orgasm again, and my penis would be stuck running parallel to your spinal column for the forseeable future. Of course, I'd cut your arms and legs off to lighten the load a bit, and have my Dad bring over the Makita power sander so I wouldn't have to look at your foolish face with the first little wisps of a moustache growing (and I've heard hair grows after you die, so I bet that thing'll look REALLY BITCHIN once you're super dessicated) and I'd just have to wait for you to rot yourself off of my dick, as I'll be damned if we're gonna do any cutting in there. Needless to say, this does not appeal to me.

Sadly, however, I see no other options. Best tell your mom I'm on my way. I'd like peanut butter sandwiches and a tall, cool glass of milk to be waiting for me. It's gonna be a long day.

Your daddy,
--Shoeboy

Re:Dearest Michael (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500632)

An open letter to Jamie McCarthy

Dear Jamie,
There's a reason people look at you like you're some kind of goddamn freak [thehollandsentinel.net] . We're pretty sure there's other reasons you won't show your face anymore [cyber24.com] ; we've been reading slashdot long enough to remember the pictures the Holland Sentinel published of you with your slicked back greasejob haircut and hawkish little face. I remember thinking "God, I know Internet filters are bad, but the last fucking thing that is going to convince anyone of anything is this guy". You need to wash. You need to exercise. You need to get a haircut, and get a real job. Soon, VA is going to fire you, and you're going to be out in the real world. And that is going to be the shock of a fucking lifetime. You need to prepare.

As much as you delight in finding people despicable enough that you feel tormenting them is your righteous duty [holocaust-history.org] , I think it's pretty clear at this point that Michael Sims is not a Nazi. In fact, he knew the truth about you [censorware.org] long before anyone else did. You and your friends may run THE CENSORWARE PROJECT [goatse.cx] , but anyone with a lick sense now knows that you're personally responsible for writing the Censorware code that's now built into Slashdot. Let's be extremely clear about this: you define Censorware to be "software which is designed to prevent another person from sending or receiving information (usually on the web)". And you've checked mountains of code into CVS to prevent people with dissenting opinions from sending information on the web. It meets your definition, letter for letter. And guess what? Your Censorware is just as effective as every Censorware project you have ever railed against. How effective is that?

How effective is that? That's a great question. It's effective in exactly the same way NetNanny is effective. It stops technically non-proficient people in their tracks. They become victims of a robotic system that no one understands. Get a new account on this cool site, post a comment about how you had a hard time installing Linux, and BAMMO, you and your whole subnet are banned from posting. Congratulations. But it doesn't stop the clever, does it Jamie? How many times have you written articles about how the folks at Peacefire can walk rings around an Internet filter in 10 seconds flat? Well guess what?

I just spent the whole fucking day running circles around your pathetic little Internet filter. How does it feel to be a commercial software developer paid to block people from accessing something and failing?

Your points about Censorware were something you should have listened to. You and your pathetic system are a bleeding failure. Like your opponents, you have frustrated the weak and enraged the strong. Soon, you'll lose your job, and you're going to be sitting on the other side of an oak desk with someone trying to interview you looking at you, and your resume, like this [thehollandsentinel.net] .

And that, as they say, is poetic justice.

--Everybody on Trolltalk

The point of country TLD's (2)

Kallahar (227430) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500488)

I was always under the impression that the country TLD's were meant to be used for sites that had geography-specific information. Such as city government sites, or a store that is in one city. The example "clothingstore.los-angeles.ca.us" given was a good example, but now they want to make it "clothingstore.us"? Doesn't that pretty much defeat the point?

Another point to consider is who can buy these. Will it be US people only or will it be like cc, tv, to, etc which will sell to anyone?

On a third note, do I care? I already have a couple .com's :)

Re:The point of country TLD's (2, Informative)

Doomdark (136619) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500763)

I was always under the impression that the country TLD's were meant to be used for sites that had geography-specific information

I don't know if that was the original intention, but it certainly hasn't been the practice. Outside of .us - domain (esp. before .com became 'hot') companies and universities did use country TLDs, many still do. Sometimes multi-national co's have localized sites (www.company.com for 'main page', www.company.fr for french version etc) using these too.

in other news... (5, Funny)

Malachite (8328) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500497)

...the number of stupid webpages sporting american flags and those silly "osama bin laden: wanted dead or alive" posters is expected to skyrocket.

Too little too late... (1, Redundant)

Mustang Matt (133426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500499)

What good is .us going to do now?

The only purposes I can see are these...
1. International companies can now add more seperation to their domain names. For instance, sony.com.us vs. sony.com.jp.
2. Cybersquatters can now go and grab domains like microsoft.com.us and send out porn spam trying to fool the clueless into clicking on the link.

Am I missing something?

I really don't see any great advantage to them releasing .us, if they're going to do .us, they should let us use .'anything'

My DNS servers are ready, how about yours?

Article title (2, Funny)

Syberghost (10557) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500508)

My submission (early yesterday) had a better title:

All Your Domain Are Belong to .US

Re:Article title (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500568)

What do you want, a cookie?

All you .us are belong to base! (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500513)

Sorry, couldn't help.

"Homeboys": Holland, Michigan's Boys of Summer (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500530)

Hemos and I, CmdrTaco, were both fourteen. We were just getting ready for the end of summer. We had started out the week with a campout down by the pond. It was a warm night and we seldom slept arly. Hemos and I had played all the young boy games and discovered jerking off together last summer. Now we seldom lost a chance to take a squirt together.

Hemos was telling me, CmdrTaco, a story of how his older brother Michael had let a kid we both knew give him a blowjob. Michael said he gave JonKatz a ride home from school and was really horny. He said JonKatz could not stop looking at the bulge in his shorts. Michael said it took some real convincing but he got him to take his cock in his mouth and suck it exactly like his other bitch Jamie did.

I told Hemos he was full of shit that I knew JonKatz and that he didn't look queer. Hemos said his brother said you could never tell who had queer genes in them, but guys who are willing to suck usually who do it. I didn't believe him but the story made me real hard. Hemos had been constantly horny for the last year.

"CmdrTaco, you want to suck my dick?" Hemos asked, me. "No way, asshole, that thing would not fit in my mouth." said. "Why not?" he asked. "I'm not gonna put a cock in my mouth and be known as a queer like JonKatz," I told him. "You would," he assured me. "You might have the queer genes. And I promise I won't cum in your mouth," he added quickly.

I just looked at him, not believing what he wanted me to do. I just shook my head, "You are crazy, dude." He looked at me and said, " You can't tell me you don't want to find out what its like." I said quickly, "Not me, you want one go find JonKatz." He smiled as he looked down at his naked hard cock and then up at me, "Maybe I might find JonKatz for a blowjob, but he's not here and you are, CmdrTaco."

He pumped his cock a few strokes and paused, "Why don't you just try it? I'll put my jockeys back on and you can just put it in your mouth and jerk me off. Any cum will go in my jockeys and your lips won't touch any skin." he added, arguing like he always did.

"Since you won't really be sucking a cock, it won't be queer, and if you don't like it, we can stop," he pleaded. I looked down at Hemos's cock and my face turned red as I realized he had me thinking about sucking his cock. Both of us knew that sucking dick was sucking dick. I knew that if I took his cock in my mouth even covered with his jockey shorts that he would have me do it again.

I looked at Hemos's hard dick. I crossed the line when I said, "put your shorts on it." He quickly grabbed his shorts and pulled them over his rigid cock, "Shit yea, I can't wait. Go for it CmdrTaco." I knelt down between his legs as he sat on the ground cloth. I put my mouth over the head of his cock through his shorts. Hemos said, "Wait I want to know what a blow job feels like and he started taking his shorts back off.

I watched his four-inch cock plop back against his plump stomach as he removed his shorts. I said, "No way, unless you put them on I'm not gonna touch your cock." Hemos started looking around in the tent and came out with a sheer clothe bandana. "How bout this? It will be more like a blowjob and it still will be as if you're not." He wanted me to actually put a bandana covered cock in my mouth yet he was telling me it would not be queer. I had seen Hemos hard before, but this was different. His cock was rock hard and strained in the bandana. I didn't look at Hemos's face as I knelt between his legs again. I became acutely aware of the wetness where precum had soaked through the thin cloth as my mouth covered the place at the tip of his cock. Hemos was waiting, so I lowered my mouth, and I raised my eyes to Hemos's face and I felt his cock twitching and jumping in anticipation.

I turned my attention to his cock and I felt the wetness as I forced out more precum from the cock head in my mouth. I grasped his shaft and started to jerk him off with just the cloth-covered head in my mouth. I held his cock at the base as I continued bobbing my head and sucking on his cock. The slow sucking rhythm caused him to reach the edge. He was shooting and his cum was going into my mouth. The cloth was so wet that it did not slow down the spurts of cum in my mouth I never had time to think about or to turn away before a volley of jism shot through the cloth. Cum just flowed into my mouth and I don't know why I continued to pump his cock.

Hemos was silent as I release his cock from my mouth. He said, "See, CmdrTaco, the cloth did the job and all the cum was captured." There was no way to describe how it felt to suck his dick, but it had been unbelievable. "Well do you have the queer gene? Do you like to suck dick? Want to try it like JonKatz did without the cloth?" Hemos asked. I actually got kind of a thrill and yet was embarrassed that I must have swallowed his cum. I never remember spitting it out.

I told him that the experience had been unbelievable but that I would not do it again. I was glad that I had gone down on Hemos and I knew I would do it again, though I couldn't tell him that. It was less than an hour when he started begging me to do it again. That was fine by me. I think he knew that I was willing. I guess my reluctance was gone, because I didn't have any trouble going down on Hemos again. The second time sucking his dick was easier for me. Hemos started asking me what it felt like while I sucked him. While I was bobbing up and down, with a little more action, Hemos asked me if I wanted to remove the cloth. He said that it was just he and I and he would never tell anyone. He said it was just two dudes experimenting and that he was just joking about the queer genes. I actually wanted to do it yet I was not prepared to go that far. Hemos knew that I liked to suck his cock, yet he knew that it would mean admitting that I was queer if I admitted it and he knew that I wouldn't do that. He had just completed what it took to persuade me to go down on him that night.

The next week Hemos was busy all the time and he didn't talk about what we had done. I thought he was ashamed and I even noticed that he would get hard sometimes while we hung out together. But would always say he had better leave. I thought that he did not want to be embarrassed around me. It was about a week later when I found why he would leave. He told me that he had come home from our trip and that JonKatz was at his house with his brother. He said that he watched him give Michael a blowjob. He said that JonKatz was always trying to get Michael to let him suck him off again, so he said he let him. Now he sucks Michael off all the time. Hemos said after he saw JonKatz go down on his older brother. He looked at me and said "Shit JonKatz sucked me too. Boy it felt good." He smiled and said, "Almost as good as you suck." Hemos was good at getting me to do whatever he wanted. There was no denying I got off on sucking him and I knew what he wanted me, CmdrTaco, to do next.

Scrap .com, all use contry codes. (4, Insightful)

Mike McTernan (260224) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500534)

Country code suffixes such as ".fr" for France have been sources of national pride worldwide, but in the United States it is the forgotten stepchild compared with ".com."

It's always annoyed me how the world seems to use country codes for it's TLD's, and then the US has some other TLDs that is just uses.

For example, when shopping online I want to know if a company will ship to the UK. If it is a .co.uk company I can be sure it will. If it is a .com, it might or might not.

Essentially it seems logical for organisations to just register the TLDs for the countries in which they operate/are registered, and for the .com TLD to be scrapped (Although this would never happen).

Oh, I'd scrap .edu too. .ac.us would be a fine replacement.

Re:Scrap .com, all use contry codes. (-1)

tristan f. (259738) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500759)

Shut the fuck up with your nationalistic shite.

"Oh, I'd scrap .edu too. .ac.us would be a fine replacement." God. What I would do to have the opportunity to slap you like the bitch you are.

Re:Scrap .com, all use contry codes. (1)

droleary (47999) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500774)

It's always annoyed me how the world seems to use country codes for it's TLD's, and then the US has some other TLDs that is just uses.

Bastards! What, do they think they invented the Internet or something?

For example, when shopping online I want to know if a company will ship to the UK. If it is a .co.uk company I can be sure it will. If it is a .com, it might or might not.

So why not just stick to .co.uk companies? How will using the .us TLD help you here, since it is quite possible for a company in the States to ship to the UK? Your real complaint seems to be that there are some companies using purportedly international domain like .com (although, really, .int is the OTID) without having a certain level of international support. Just as the new TLDs don't solve any real problems, increased usage of the .us TLD doesn't solve your real problem.

Essentially it seems logical for organisations to just register the TLDs for the countries in which they operate/are registered, and for the .com TLD to be scrapped (Although this would never happen).

And what is the "logical" solution to country neutral organizations? Should I really care where in the world Slashdot or The Onion is? You're taking outdated geographical notions and superimposing them on the Internet, which goes beyond illogical to simply unreasonable. There's more to the Internet than bloody shopping.

The goatse guy better hurry... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500536)

...otherwise someone may register goatan.us before he does.

with our failing war........ (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2500577)

someone could buy/host http://bombed.us

Missing the whole point of domains (1)

kawaichan (527006) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500604)

the whole and the sole purpose of domain names is for people to REMEMBER the domain name, it's already hard to remember with .com .net .org but now we've got .biz, .pro, .us .whatever. How am I gonna remember anything know Domain name is suppose to be EASIER, ip seems to be a much better deal right now, it's free and there is only 12 digits to remember. and btw, when the new mod system are gonna be in place, I am sick of reading goatsex crap.

Might as well... (1, Troll)

kindbud (90044) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500621)

We gave the country away to John Ashcroft, might as well give the TLD away to NeuLevel.

How does .us differ? (2)

RedX (71326) | more than 12 years ago | (#2500684)

How is this "new" domain extension registry going to differ from all the rest? Are trademark holders once again going to get first shot? Are we private citizens going to be subject to litigation by the corporate types that want to snatch our domain names away from us? I happen to share a surname with a very large brokerage house that has seen fit to register just about every iteration of the name I can think of without stretching it to an ungodly number of characters. Is this just going to be another domain extension where they'll snap up all the useful variations of our name?
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