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Review: Behind Enemy Lines

JonKatz posted more than 12 years ago | from the boy-is-this-a-timely-movie dept.

Movies 278

Next to Warner Brothers, which bought the rights to the first Harry Potter book for peanuts, 20th Century Fox is the luckiest studio around. Behind Enemy Lines -- a tight, highly entertaining and patriotic war thriller about soldiers heading into harm's way -- couldn't possibly be more timely. The aerial and ground combat special affects are so realistic they nearly constitute a breakthrough. The two major actors -- Gene Hackman and Owen Wilson -- are terrific, balancing and complimenting one another. The action is fast-paced and non-stop. Wilson really comes into his own in this is a disciplined, old-style Hollywood war yarn. And only a crisp 90 minutes long! SPOILAGE WARNING: plot is discussed, not ending.

The plot centers on an aircraft carrier patrolling near the end of the savage conflict in Bosnia. The ship is run by Americans but under the command of NATO, a setup for the murky global politics that underscore the plot. Lt. Chris Burnett (Wilson) is sick of the routines of non-combat flying and is considered a spoiled hotdog by his weary Admiral Riegart (Hackman). A wise-cracking smartass, he's sent on an aerial reconnaissance mission on Christmas Day. Ever looking to push the envelope (shades of Tom Cruise in Top Gun ), he veers off course and takes pictures of things he's not supposed to see -- civilians being slaughtered. His plane is shot down in a whiz-bang, special-affects laden sequence, his co-pilot and best buddy murdered as he looks on helplessly.

From the first shot, Director John Moore knows exactly what he's doing. The movie has an authentic, gung-ho quality too it, and it's eerily prescient -- the spy satellite and thermal imaging stuff is right out of today's evening newscasts. The Bosnian war and background scenes are authentic and disturbing. The movie moves like a rocket, pushed along by jump cuts, aerial shots and changes in film speed and angles. It doesn't get cluttered up with the usual distractions (remember Pearl Harbor's belabored love interests and other digressions?). And it actually ends right where it should, a minor cinematic miracle these days! Wilson convincingly evolves from an irresponsible snot-nose into a resourceful warrior, pursued by cool, murderous Bosnian soldiers who want to get the film of a massacre he shot from his onboard digital camera. Riegert is snarled in bureaucracy, his efforts to save the pilot complicated by a weak-kneed U.S. government and NATO wussies worried about global politics and diplomatic concerns.

As the onboard Marines restlessly lobby to fire up their Apaches and go in and get him, Wilson dodges and battles the Bosnian army all over the European forests (the movie was shot in Eastern Europe). The ending is pure John Wayne. This is a first-rate war thriller under any circumstances, but given the particular ones raging in Afghanistan, it's going to be a blockbuster.

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278 comments

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Revolutionary ner business-model (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643658)

New business-model!

Our car-manufacturing company has developed a new revolutionary business model for making cars.

We give away the cars for free and then we sell services for those cars! If you want to we can clean your car, wax it or you can use some of our other services.

Re:Revolutionary ner business-model (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643676)

Off-topic??? I just presented our new nice business-model that will get everyone nice new cars for free. Is there something wrong with that?

Re:Revolutionary ner business-model (-1)

propstoalldeadhomiez (444303) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643678)

In a related story, VA Motors [goatse.cx] has just filed for bankruptcy.

Re:Revolutionary ner business-model (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643689)

The car companies have you beat. They sell the product and give away the services. The long warranties. Some are even throwing in things like free oil changes and other maintenance stuff for a few years.

Re:Revolutionary ner business-model (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643703)

"They sell the product and give away the services."

We do the excact opposite, we give away the cars and charge for all the services. The total cost of ownership will drop to about $100 a year, ain't that great?!

Re:Revolutionary ner business-model (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643750)

And when you'll need more VC money just call "The Suits."

Re:Revolutionary ner business-model (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643691)

Our construction-company has an idea of giving houses away for free and sell services like cleaning and window-washing to the people buying them.

Re:Revolutionary ner business-model (-1)

Allah_Spork (524500) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643889)

Thank you for dedicating your first post to the idea that all palestineans (and associated sandpeople) should die.

Second fist (-1)

Genghis Troll (158585) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643660)

up katz's ass.

FAGIT JONKATZ SHUT UP YOU BUT PIRAT!!! (-1)

KingAzzy (320268) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643853)

joo are a butt pirate admit it jonkatz you fuck little boys and raghead terrorists we know!!! joo better fess up, penus muncher!

#1 (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643662)

hehe

Behind the Post (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643665)



Fuck ALL Arabs and Palestinian cowards. I hope the Israelis run the steets red with their blood and shit on their disgusting, smelly little children. Death to Sand NIGGERS and Muslim FILTH.

Mod parent or go to jail (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643681)

Anyone that tried to mod the parent down or refuses to mod it up will be investigated as a supporter of TERRORISM and detained.

Re:Behind the Post (1)

telstar (236404) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643697)

Well, it's good to see you're keeping an open mind.

Re:Behind the Post (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643711)

An open mind?

Are you fucking BLIND?

27 people in Israel are DEAD. Blown up last night and today by separate incidents involving PALESTINIAN suicide bombers. There was also a car bomb last night that fortunately caused no injuries.

It's time to WAKE UP.

first post (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643666)

what a waste of bandwidth this is
duffz0r

Fuck you Katz - Suck my baloney faggot (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643667)

Happy Hannukah, asswipe. Get reamed by niggers.

Ahhhhh! A fine new day! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643669)

The sun shines and another open source company will go bancrypt before it has ended, oh joy! :)

Re:Ahhhhh! A fine new day! (-1)

propstoalldeadhomiez (444303) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643693)

wtf? only one?

Re:Ahhhhh! A fine new day! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643717)

20 is more likely, and of cause a bunch of dot-coms also.

Movie reviews? (1)

imrdkl (302224) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643670)

Is this a demotion for the katzster?

Re:Movie reviews? | Ending sucked (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643716)

I know we should all be used to the Hollywood endings that everybody ends up happy, good triumphs over evil (usually US over anybody else regardless of which side is good or evil), but the ending is stupid and unrealistic.

Besides, the movie really doesn't reflect on all the complex ethnic hatred in the region...

Wait a minute! That never was the purpose of the movie, just to extult US heroism and patriotism. Ok, so I guess the movie does a good job ;-)

Question: (-1)

Genghis Troll (158585) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643671)

Does Katz get paid for this drivel? If so, how much? Or do they just trade him the semen of newly pubescent boys?

Top Dog? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643673)

Top Dog? I don't remember that movie?

Re:Top Dog? (1)

telstar (236404) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643707)

That's the one where Tom Cruise looks EXACTLY [imdb.com] like Chuck Norris.

Top Dog? (3, Funny)

EasyRhino (109776) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643674)

I think the Tom Cruise movie you are thinking of is "Top Gun", not "Top Dog." No big deal, but might throw some people off.

Re:Top Dog? (1)

SparkyMartin (206236) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643698)

Wasn't there an old Hanna Barbara cartoon called Top Dog? Or was it Top Cat? What was the name of that superhero dog that looked like Huckleberry Hound?

Underdog? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643820)

What was the name of that superhero dog that looked like Huckleberry Hound?

Underdog? Or not?

Re:Top Dog? (1)

ergo98 (9391) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643705)

Oh man the Top Dog [imdb.com] thing had me busting a gut. Top Gun [imdb.com] is a cheesy, extraordinarily lame movie, but I still love it: There's something about the clean blue skies, etc. There's a certain irony in the fact that many laserdisc/DVD demo setups still show Top Gun as the big demo of the visual acuity and sounds, despite the fact that it's some 15 years old.

The F-14 is still a beautiful fighter, albeit seriously outdated. Actually the F-111 Aardvark was one amazing bomber/fighter.

Re:Top Dog? (1)

FlyingDragon (182542) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643710)

I think the Tom Cruise movie you are thinking of is "Top Gun", not "Top Dog." No big deal, but might throw some people off.

No big deal? The one reference he makes to another movie is wrong. Not just any movie, either -- one of Cruise's most famous roles. At least he didn't say the ending was fresh out of Mission: Improbable.

No big deal?? I say BLASPHEMY!!! (1)

agilen (410830) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643725)

How can you mix up the GREATEST guy movie of our generation with some lame ass washed-up chuck norris kids movie????? I never really thought Katz was a fool until now.....

Realistic (4, Insightful)

alen (225700) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643679)

I only saw the trailers but it doesn't seem very realistic. Americans never leave their dead or missing on the battlefield. Not after Vietnam. When I was in the army we were taught that we should risk our own lives to bring back the bodies of our dead. To the US Army Rangers it's a part of life. Somalia is an example. Same thing with missing. You search for them until you are sure they are dead and then you bring back the remains.

But it's a good story for Hollywood about a rogue officer trying to do what is right and going against the beauracracy. Americans hate beauracracy and it reflects in our art.

Re:Realistic (0)

SquierStrat (42516) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643787)

I'm not military, so I'll first say thank you for your service to our country.

But I'll disagree with you SLIGHTLY.
In normal battle I'd agree, 100% true. The Marines Corp. I know has a motto that follows suit to Semper Fidelis...NEVER leave a man behind. However, when under NATO command, and when the pilot is somewhere he wasn't supposed to, I doubt politicians would even think twice about leaving a man for death when it will save their political asses. The point in the plot, is that the US military didn't want to leave him in there, they want to go in to get him. So, I'd say it is very realistic. Maybe I should say it like this to sum it all up: your argument against it's realism, is what makes it realistic.

Maybe I'm off my rocker though. :-)

Re:Realistic (5, Insightful)

kerrbear (163235) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643893)

Realistic? Hardly.

Fighter pilots that go off mission on a whim? Can you say serious lack of discipline? They get shot down in enemy territory, and our hero leaves his injured buddy out in the open in broad daylight? Then he moves around during the day? This is some of the most idiotic military procedures ever shown. If our military was really like this, Osama Bin Ladin would now be our president.

Of course, our hero is completely impervious to explosions and has the superhuman ability to dodge bullets. And for some reason the director thought that realistic battle action involves shaking the camera around so much that you can't really see what's happening. Saving Private Ryan this was not.

This CANNOT be the real Jon Katz (5, Funny)

Warshadow (132109) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643680)

Did he just NOT insult a movie for once? IMPOSTER! Actually whatever you've done with the real Jon Katz please leave him there!

Re:This CANNOT be the real Jon Katz (-1, Offtopic)

J0nK4tz (540667) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643715)

Muahahahahah.... 4LL UR JonKatz R B3L0NG 2 US!!!!

Re:This CANNOT be the real Jon Katz (-1)

j0nkatz (315168) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643825)

You imposter!!!! Leave the trolling to me thanks.

Hey egg troll (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643684)

How do you post so much with all those cocks in your mouth? Don't the hairy scrotums get in the way of your screen? Just curious.

Message From Kabul?? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643690)

Jon, is this your review, or Junis from Kabul's review? Did Junis see this movie in Divx on his Commodore PC? I'm wondering if he saw the movie and then emailed you this review.

yummy (-1)

Fucky the troll (528068) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643692)

    • MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
      Don't you just love that hard throbbing cock, Katz? You want it up you. I know you do.

Re:yummy (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643732)

Try harder. More MMMs. Or just reply to someone and let Slashdot table indents do their work!
    • MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
      Don't you just love that hard throbbing cock, Katz? You want it up you. I know you do.

THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ [slashdot.org]
By The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org] , $Revision: 1.11 $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda [cmdrtaco.net] gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.
So this time, he found you. Lucky you.
CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation,
VA Software [yahoo.com] . CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."
Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTaco's face [yahoo.com] , dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."
A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel [yahoo.com] , and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention [yahoo.com] . He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass [yahoo.com] with his "monolithic kernel [yahoo.com] ," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called "
Katz juicy-douching [yahoo.com] " with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass [yahoo.com] onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus [yahoo.com] . He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

  1. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574 [slashdot.org] )

    try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

  2. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370 [slashdot.org] )

    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...

    CmdrTaco

  3. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815 [slashdot.org] )

    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...

    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.

    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).

    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.

    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610 [slashdot.org] )

      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS [militariacollection.com] uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

  4. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325 [slashdot.org] )

    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

  5. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311 [slashdot.org] )

    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

  6. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191 [slashdot.org] )

    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?

    -Trollaxor

  7. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488 [slashdot.org] )

    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

  8. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446 [slashdot.org] )

    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?

    Excellent FP, sir.

    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

  9. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407 [slashdot.org] )

    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

  10. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756 [slashdot.org] )

    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!

    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.

    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?

    thanks

  11. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695 [slashdot.org] )

    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

  12. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667 [slashdot.org] )

    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

  13. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510 [slashdot.org] )

    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.

    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

  14. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336) [slashdot.org]

    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

  15. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054 [slashdot.org] )

    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!

    For more info check out this /. article [google.com]

  16. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822 [slashdot.org] )

    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too

    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832 [slashdot.org] )

      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com

      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

  17. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438 [slashdot.org] )

    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET [wilwheaton.net]

  18. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342 [slashdot.org] )

    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:

    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(

    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.

    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)

    You finding Ling-Ling's [babysue.com] head?

  19. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300 [slashdot.org] )

    I do it wrong

    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.

    Massaging my nutsack she....

    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!

    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]

    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"

    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"

    I DO IT WRONG!!!!

    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

  20. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596 [slashdot.org] )

    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.

    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

  21. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601 [slashdot.org] )

    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

  22. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457 [slashdot.org] )

    The WIPO Troll [foundus.com]
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

  23. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632 [slashdot.org] )

    Oh, man that's just sick !

  24. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604 [slashdot.org] )

    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

  25. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495 [slashdot.org] )

    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

  26. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890 [slashdot.org] )

    Where the fuck do I sign up?!

    - I throw rocks at retarded kids

    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

  27. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753 [slashdot.org] )

    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

  28. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746 [slashdot.org] )

    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

  29. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701 [slashdot.org] )

    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

  30. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266 [slashdot.org] )

    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com

    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

  31. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024 [slashdot.org] )

    +5, Arousing

    For more info check out this /. article [google.com]

  32. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891 [slashdot.org] )

    WINNER>

  33. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887 [slashdot.org] )

    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

  34. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412 [slashdot.org] )

    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!

    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.11 2001/11/25 15:40:22 wipo Exp $

I WANT MY MONEY BACK (-1)

part!cle (473500) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643696)

This whole movie believe it or not, was just a feel good unrealistic thriller with non-convincing disney-like simplicity; a good vs evil a-la star wars kind of basic mentality.

Not only do I want my money back i want my 90 mins back.

And you should want your 1 min back for reading this, along with the other min for reading Jon "I used to feel sorry for this teenage angst dork" Katz review.

and I reviewed it without spoiling the plot.

What A Fucking Ripoff! OI! OI! OI!

Why does Jon Katz still have a job? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643700)

A wise-cracking smartass, he's sent on an aerial reconnaissance mission on Christmas Day. Ever looking to push the envelope (shades of Tom Cruise in Top Dog )

*sigh*

That's TOP GUN, dumbass.

From the first shot, Director John Moore knows exactly what he's doing.

Sorry, but if you can't even remember the title of one of the biggest box-office hits of the 1980s starring Tom Cruise, you're not qualified to be a critic of directorial style.

Seriously, after Jon Katz's fiction passed off as journalism [slashdot.org] stunt, why does he still have a job?

He's a hack writer at best. Come on.

Jon, (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643702)

what did your Afghan friend think of this movie?

(I assume he already downloaded it on his commodore which was buried for 5 years)

Re:Jon, (0, Offtopic)

telstar (236404) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643718)

Nah, he's too busy downloading tunes to his iPod in between episodes of Baywatch.

On a dark stormy night... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643704)

I encountered the lameness filter.
How ye,how you tire me. But yet still ignite
the fire of my determination. My trolling
grows me feverishly wary.

A Condensed History of the Penis Bird (-1)

Klerck (213193) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643708)

For years now, the common American penis bird has been a staple of every American's daily diet. Whether it be penis bird sandwiches, fried penis bird, or perhaps penis bird under glass (for the rich), we all have penis bird at least once a day. Many Americans have no clue how the penis bird became so important in the pyramid of a balanced diet, so in this article I will attempt to explain its history and why it is so useful.

In the early 1870s, Francis Zefran became the first penis bird breeder in North America. He started his famous Penis Bird Ranch in Canton, OH. At the time, not much was known of the penis bird's nutritional value, but the Penis Bird Ranch changed all of that. Not only did Francis Zefran raise penis birds to sell their colorful plumes (a VERY lucrative business), he also set up the world's first research lab dedicated solely to the study of the penis bird.

The lab found many interesting things. First, it was discovered that the penis bird was actually semi-sentient. Second, the scientists found that the meat of the penis bird was high in protein, vitamin A, vitamin B, and calcium, while low in fat, cholestorol, and sodium. Never before had such a nutritious meal been had without supplement or fortification. The scientists of the lab recommended immediately that the penis bird become a part of every American's daily diet.

When the news of the penis bird's usefulness reached president Rutherford B. Hayes, he was absolutely ecstatic. You see, President Hayes owed a number of favors to Francis Zefran because as I said earlier, the penis bird plume trade was an extremely lucrative business and Mr. Zefran was important in getting RBH elected through a number of monetary gifts. President Hayes immediately asked Congress to pass what we all know today as the Hayes/Zefran Penis Bird Consumption Act.

The act did a number of things to make the penis bird a daily meal, most important of which was the requirement that for every four people in a household, one penis bird must consumed every day. Another thing the act did was create an artificial monopoly for Francis Zefran's Penis Bird Industries. The act stated that the only supplier of penis bird meat in the US would be PBI. As one would imagine, this quickly made Francis Zefran into the richest man in the world. He was soon a multi-billionaire (quadrillionaire with today's inflation). Never before had a single man seen such wealth.

Many challenges were made to the Hayes/Zefran Penis Bird Consumption Act, and several even made it the Supreme Court. It was argued that the act was unconstitutional and went against liberty itself, but once the detractors tasted delicious penis bird meat for the first time, they immediately dropped their cases and followed the law to the letter. We all know today that penis bird is the most delicious meat man has ever known, but at that time, the only meats people ate were pork and beef.

In the early 1970s, though, challenges to the act began again. Many argued that the monopoly given to Penis Bird Industries by the act was in all ways unamerican. The Supreme Court finally agreed, and in 1974, Section II of the act was struck down. This in effect opened the market to competition for all.

Today, Penis Bird Industries is almost no more. Today we have the market leader Penis Bird Meat International facing against Penissoft, a recent startup. Where will the future lead the penis bird market? Only time will tell us, but one thing is certain: penis birds are here to stay!

< )
( \
X
8====D

-klerck

My take on the movie.... (5, Interesting)

Zobeid (314469) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643713)

I generally liked it, but I had a few quibbles.

1. Too much use of camera shake. This made it hard to watch in some points, while not really helping tell the story in any way. It also gave me a creepy feeling at one point.... The obviously hand-held camera is following our hero, and I'm wondering: Who is following our guy around with a camera? The shake makes it seem like there should be a person there.

2. Too heavy-handed use of music soundtrack. I don't like being lead by the nose with music telling me what I should feel at every moment in the movie. Silence can be golden. Just watch 2001: A Space Odyssey again, you'll see.

3. The whole theme of hero's doubts about "why are we here" seems quaintly anachronistic after the events of Sept 11. So do the parts where UN officials are bossing around the US Navy. Can anyone imagine that happening today? The world has changed in a short time, and this film is already taking on the feeling of a historical piece.

Re:My take on the movie.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643765)

The whole theme of hero's doubts about "why are we here" seems quaintly anachronistic after the events of Sept 11.

How did 2001.09.11 clarify things?

This might be very bad. (0, Offtopic)

Krapangor (533950) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643720)

Such war movies always propagate violent and harmful solutions to problems.
They make seem violence the best solution for problems but it's always the worst and the last.
This might be just the usual hollywood crap, but hollywood is flooding and brainwashing the whole world with such movies.
We don't need to be surprised when youngesters in palestine or north ireland make violent terror to solve their problems because they just learned it all for hollywood movies.
Therefore I think such movies are very bad and should be banned all over the world.
Even Microsofts high marketshare is mainly based on hollywoods movies because they always show windows and people think that every computer must have windows and therefore buy only computers with windows.
There you see how bad such hollywood movies are !!!

Re:This might be very bad. (-1, Offtopic)

cybercrap (319182) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643730)

fucking stupid liberals. If it wasn't for violence this country wouldn't exist. Shit, most of the known world wouldn't exist. You need to stfu. Violence solves a lot, specially when you got the bigger stick. Sure it sux to be a victim of violence, but shit happens.

Re:This might be very bad. (1)

SquierStrat (42516) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643800)

Let's take a trip to the 18th century.

Oh dear king, would you please grant us our independence, since you won't even let us have representation for our taxation. It's not like we will revolt or anything, we're not violent people afterall.

I'm sorry, violence solves ALOT. When I was younger and got picked on, and beat-up, standing there and taking it didn't solve a thing, but by God when one-day I slugged the guy and shoved my knee into his stomach, then into his face, he never messed with me again. Here's the thing: violence does solve problems, when a) it's directed at the correct person/people and when b) you're right, and they aren't.

Portrayed violence doesn't create more violence, it merely reflects some a fact of society.

Only 90 minutes long? (4, Insightful)

OblongPlatypus (233746) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643721)

You say this like it's a good thing, a tendency I've noticed in many reviews lately. For some reason a movie is regarded as too long if it even comes close to the two hour mark. DVD fans will know another side of the issue; director commentaries always talk about the parts they had to slash, and the number of unused scenes only seem to grow.

I understand perfectly well that in many cases a movie can be made too long, making it boring or just too long-winded. But why is a short movie seen as a good thing in itself? If a movie is really good, I'd love to stay in the theatre for three hours, or more. If it isn't good, I'll just leave. I can't tell you how many movies I've seen lately where I wished it would just last longer, and show us more of the story.

Re:Only 90 minutes long? (1)

Pope (17780) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643785)

Agreed. Hell, X-Men felt like it should have had at least an extra 10 minutes put INTO it just to give the damn plot some breathing room.
Some kinds of flims work well at the 90 minute mark, but any kind of war film should be around 2 hours or longer just to get a decent flow going to the action.
I still think "The Thin Red Line" is a better film than "Saving Private Ryan" because it wasn't so caught up in trying to be and event. And that so-called "realistic" Normandy landing was annoying as all fuck to watch.

Shorter films = more screenings = more $$$$! (2)

Robber Baron (112304) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643786)

You know why, don't you? It's so the greed-mongers in the MPAA can jam more screenings in and increase their profit margin, after they've jacked the ticket price to ridiculous levels. In other words, you're paying more for less. They also want you to pay again for the second half of the movie...thinly disguised as (put movie title here) II.

Re:Only 90 minutes long? (3, Insightful)

Ami Ganguli (921) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643789)

It depends on the movie. I often walk out of a movie thinking 'why didn't they just cut the last 45 minutes?'. This normally happens when the scriptwriter feels the need to resolve some cheesy plot-line explicitely, rather than just leaving it to the imagination.

On the other hand, the Harry Potter movie was, IMHO, way too short even at 210 (?) minutes. They tried to cram the whole book in and the film ended up being a montage of short scenes resembling a music video with no time for character development. They should either have cut out more of the book, or split it into two movies. The director has already suggested that he may do that with the fourth book, since it's much longer.

Fellowship of the Ring is 3 Hours (1)

arbours (302317) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643845)

Peter Jackson and New Line did a great thing bringing LOTR in at 3 full spanking hours. Every review says it flies by. A great movie, like that or Apocalypse Now, makes you want it to go on and on

Alex

As Roger Ebert says, (4, Insightful)

BurntHombre (68174) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643933)

"No good movie is too long, and no bad movie is short enough."

That pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject.

another review here (1)

Maditude (473526) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643722)

Haven't seen the movie, but I can't say that I plan to, either, especially after reading this StarTribune [startribune.com] review...
quote:
Wilson and Hackman certainly should be able to relate to Burnett's plight: They're stuck in a movie from which they need to be rescued. But no help is coming, so they push on like good soldiers.

Hello Mister Jon Katz! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643734)

This is your good friend Junis from a village 30 miles south of Kabul. I like this movie very much, but the people in my village like "Temptation Island" better. I now shave every day (down with Taliban!) and I have bought a "webcam" for my Commodore. I have also replaced my old Madonna posters with Britney Spears and Eminem and Limp Bizkit posters. Our imam is crazy about Eminem's music! Good day to you, I must now go to continue playing RTCW! On my Commodore!

It appears they did their homework. (5, Interesting)

cyberkahn (398201) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643738)

I liked the movie overall until the end, which seemed too much like an Indiana Jones finish. I served with the US Army under the NATO led IFOR (Implimentation Force) back in 95. From what I saw I was really impressed with the markings on the vehicles, uniforms etc. It looked so much like the former Yugoslavia to me that I stayed to watch the credits. I wanted to see where it was actually filmed. One scene they are in a factory, (I was shaking my head in disbelief) which appeared to be just like a tank factory we were stationed at in Slavonski Brod,Croatia. I am sure there is someone out there who will nit pick the innaccuracies, but at first glance the attention to detail as far as the country and military forces was excellent in my opinion.

Re:It appears they did their homework. (2, Informative)

lelitsch (31136) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643841)

Actually, the only thing that got me ticked off was the scene where he runs through the alley with all the mines going off behind him. As a former assault engineer I can't believe that even the dumbest Serb conscript would put the detonators and trip wires outside the blast radius. Not once, but about 20 times in a row.

Katz, you're killing me! (1)

Forager (144256) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643740)

Please, Jon, stop being so funny! I just had surgery; jokes like you are dangerous to my health! Tom Cruise in Top Dog [imdb.com] , right?

Taco, Hemos: are you guys actually paying Katz for this? This is exactly why I wouldn't pay for slashdot.

Forager

A Good Review?? (3, Interesting)

Rackemup (160230) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643741)

I've seen a few reviews for "Behind Enemy Lines" and the good reviews seem to be dead even with the bad ones.

From what I've seen of the previews it seems to be a "go team America, bring our boys home" kinda movie, but the methods they use to get there are pretty lame. The special-effects shots look great, but if it's all show and no meat then I'm not interested.

I read another reviewer talk about the main character's adventures by saying "standing on a ridge, making a target of himself, running in the open, etc, etc"? Stuff like that may look good on the big screen but in real life it'll get you an ass-full of lead.

Re:A Good Review?? (2, Informative)

Bartacus (40172) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643907)

Maybe you're referring to the Roger Ebert [suntimes.com] review?


The premiere of "Behind Enemy Lines" was held aboard the aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson. I wonder if it played as a comedy. Its hero is so reckless and its villains so incompetent that it's a showdown between a man begging to be shot, and an enemy that can't hit the side of a Bos-nian barn.

This is not the story of a fugitive trying to sneak through enemy terrain and be rescued, but of a movie character magically transported from one photo opportunity to another.

Owen Wilson stars as Burnett, a hot-shot Navy flier who "signed up to be a fighter pilot--not a cop on a beat no one cares about." On a recon mission over Bosnia, he and his partner Stackhouse (Gabriel Macht) venture off mission and get digital photos of a mass grave and illegal troop movements. It's a Serbian operation in violation of a fresh peace treaty, and the Serbs fire two missiles to bring the plane down.

The plane's attempts to elude the missiles supply the movie's high point. The pilots eject. Stackhouse is found by Tracker (Vladimir Mashkov), who tells his commander Lokar (Olek Krupa) to forget about a big pursuit and simply allow him to track Burnett. That sets up the cat-and-mouse game in which Burnett wanders through open fields, stands on the tops of ridges and stupidly makes himself a target, while Tracker is caught in one of those nightmares where he runs and runs but just can't seem to catch up.

Back on the USS Vinson, Admiral Reigart (Gene Hackman) is biting his lower lip. He wants to fly in and rescue Burnett, but is blocked by his NATO superior, Admiral Piquet (Joaquim de Almeida)--a Frenchman who is so devious he substitutes French NATO troops for Americans in a phony rescue mission, and calls them off just when Burnett is desperately waving from a pickup area. Bet you a shiny new dime that when this movie plays in France, Admiral Piquet becomes an Italian.

The first-time director is John Moore, who has made lots of TV commercials, something we intuit in a scene where Reigart orders Burnett to proceed to another pick-up area, and Burnett visualizes fast-motion whooshing tracking shots up and down mountains and through valleys before deciding, uh-uh, he ain't gonna do that.

What Burnett does do is stroll through Bosnia like a bird watcher, exposing himself in open areas and making himself a silhouette against the skyline. He's only spotted in the first place because when his buddy is cornered, he's hiding safely but utters a loud involuntary yell and then starts to run up an exposed hillside. First rule of not getting caught: No loud involuntary yells within the hearing of the enemy.

This guy is a piece of work. Consider the scene where Burnett substitutes uniforms with a Serbian fighter. He even wears a black ski mask covering his entire face. He walks past a truck of enemy troops, and then what does he do? Why, he removes the ski mask, revealing his distinctive blond hair, and then he turns back toward the truck so we can see his face, in case we didn't know who he was. How did this guy get through combat training? Must have been a social promotion to keep him with his age group.

At times Burnett is pursued by the entire Serbian army, which fires at him with machine guns, rifles and tanks, of course never hitting him. The movie recycles the old howler where hundreds of rounds of ammo miss the hero, but all he has to do is aim and fire, and--pow! another bad guy jerks back, dead. I smiled during the scene where Admiral Reigart is able to use heat-sensitive satellite imagery to look at high-res silhouettes of Burnett stretched out within feet of the enemy. Maybe this is possible. What I do not believe is that the enemies in this scene could not spot the American uniform in a pile of enemy corpses.

Do I need to tell you that the ending involves a montage of rueful grins, broad smiles, and meaningful little victorious nods, scored with upbeat rock music? No, probably not.

And of course we get shots of the characters and are told what happened to them after the story was over--as if this is based on real events. It may have been inspired by the adventures of Air Force pilot Scott O'Grady, who was rescued after being shot down over Bosnia in 1995, but based on real life, it's not.

Copyright © Chicago Sun-Times Inc.

Marines in Apaches? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643746)

"...the onboard Marines restlessly lobby to fire up their Apaches..."

The Marine Corps uses Cobras. The Army uses Apaches.

You stupid fuck.

No Man's Land (5, Interesting)

Troodon (213660) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643753)

If you're after a thoughtful, satirical war movie with strong characters go see No Man's Land. Its touted as one of the strongest releases of the year.

A few random blurbs:

http://www.filmomh.com/r74.htm

http://www.upcomingmovies.com/nomansland.html

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilm/product/film_info/0,3 69 9,2406267,00.html

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/movie-1111144/

Re:No Man's Land (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643888)

For more fun, check out the porno series with the same title.

The movie blew goat-balls. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643766)

What is this crap. The movie was horrible.

Here's a "snot-nose" for you!! (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643768)

THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ [slashdot.org]
By The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org] , $Revision: 1.11 $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda [cmdrtaco.net] gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.
So this time, he found you. Lucky you.
CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation,
VA Software [yahoo.com] . CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."
Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTaco's face [yahoo.com] , dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."
A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel [yahoo.com] , and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention [yahoo.com] . He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass [yahoo.com] with his "monolithic kernel [yahoo.com] ," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called "
Katz juicy-douching [yahoo.com] " with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass [yahoo.com] onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus [yahoo.com] . He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

  1. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574 [slashdot.org] )

    try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

  2. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370 [slashdot.org] )

    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...

    CmdrTaco

  3. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815 [slashdot.org] )

    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...

    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.

    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).

    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.

    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610 [slashdot.org] )

      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS [militariacollection.com] uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

  4. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325 [slashdot.org] )

    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

  5. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311 [slashdot.org] )

    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

  6. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191 [slashdot.org] )

    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?

    -Trollaxor

  7. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488 [slashdot.org] )

    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

  8. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446 [slashdot.org] )

    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?

    Excellent FP, sir.

    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

  9. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407 [slashdot.org] )

    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

  10. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756 [slashdot.org] )

    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!

    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.

    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?

    thanks

  11. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695 [slashdot.org] )

    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

  12. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667 [slashdot.org] )

    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

  13. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510 [slashdot.org] )

    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.

    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

  14. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336) [slashdot.org]

    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

  15. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054 [slashdot.org] )

    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!

    For more info check out this /. article [google.com]

  16. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822 [slashdot.org] )

    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too

    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832 [slashdot.org] )

      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com

      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

  17. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438 [slashdot.org] )

    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET [wilwheaton.net]

  18. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342 [slashdot.org] )

    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:

    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(

    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.

    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)

    You finding Ling-Ling's [babysue.com] head?

  19. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300 [slashdot.org] )

    I do it wrong

    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.

    Massaging my nutsack she....

    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!

    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]

    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"

    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"

    I DO IT WRONG!!!!

    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

  20. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596 [slashdot.org] )

    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.

    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

  21. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601 [slashdot.org] )

    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

  22. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457 [slashdot.org] )

    The WIPO Troll [foundus.com]
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

  23. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632 [slashdot.org] )

    Oh, man that's just sick !

  24. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604 [slashdot.org] )

    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

  25. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495 [slashdot.org] )

    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

  26. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890 [slashdot.org] )

    Where the fuck do I sign up?!

    - I throw rocks at retarded kids

    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

  27. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753 [slashdot.org] )

    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

  28. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746 [slashdot.org] )

    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

  29. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701 [slashdot.org] )

    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

  30. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266 [slashdot.org] )

    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com

    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

  31. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024 [slashdot.org] )

    +5, Arousing

    For more info check out this /. article [google.com]

  32. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891 [slashdot.org] )

    WINNER>

  33. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887 [slashdot.org] )

    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

  34. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412 [slashdot.org] )

    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!

    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.11 2001/11/25 15:40:22 wipo Exp $

twice the war, half the fun. (5, Insightful)

conner_bw (120497) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643779)


Incredible! Now i can watch a fictional war at the movies to take my mind off the real war on my television.

On another note, here's a quick review of why America is in a real war in the first place.

http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n9/htdocs/the_vic e_guide.php [viceland.com]

"Before September 11th the deal was this: The American people agreed to work their asses off and not ask questions about what the government was up to as long as the government promised to continue to provide the American way of life. As Ollie North put it, 'the American people don't want to know.' Then on September 11th, everything changed..."

No wait, maybe nothing has changed. Thanks for the memories hollywood!

Good Movie, couple of issues (1)

GiorgioG (225675) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643781)

Overall, I thought this was a good movie. I only see a couple of issues: Did anyone notice that the Surface-to-air missiles made more than 1 pass at the F/A-18? I'm pretty sure (correct me if I''m wrong) that most of the serbian's arsenal would not be that sophisticated. I thought most Air to Air & Surface to Air missiles were forward looking, meaning if the target got behind them, it'd lose it's targetting. Second issue, 3 helicopters held off a good 6 tanks, and 30-40 soldiers at bay in the final rescue scene. A little optimistic I would say. But hey, this is hollywood...

Re:Good Movie, couple of issues (1)

sud8ed (94202) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643886)

Actually with the current, and even a few years older, arsenal of the apache helicopter, this is quite possible, with their hellfire missiles(tank killers) and large front mounted swiveling cannons. There are also additional arms, but I won't get into them. Oh yeah, I haven't seen the movie though, so this is only fact, without all the facts of the movie.

Re:Good Movie, couple of issues (1)

GiorgioG (225675) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643903)

True, but they didn't have Apache's - I didn't recognize the model - They looked like rescue choppers with some rocket launchers bolted on and a machine or two as well..

Re:Good Movie, couple of issues (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643925)

They were Hueys.

I am glad I read the review (1)

bsimonin (310575) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643783)

I am glad I read the review. I was planning on skipping the movie, thinking it was a childish non-plot movie like Pearl Harbor. Thanks....I might see it today. BTW...the Marines don't use Apache's they use Cobra's. Just another war monger guy here.

Only a crisp 90 minutes long? (2)

sulli (195030) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643788)

Great, now we'll get 30 minutes of ads and trailers.

Not a good movie (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643793)

This was by far not a "first-rate thriller". First of all, the camera work sucked, along with editing. It was done by a first time directory who directed commercials before doing this movie and it shows.

Every time the evil sniper comes on camera, the same thing happens. The camera slows down, a few seconds latter some heavy music sucks. Why is it that most movies have to beat into the audience who the evil guy is and how evil he really is.

Every time Burnett radioed for help he didn't it sitting in the open. Good thinking.

Overall the movie was a sub-par.

Flight Simulator folks made the F16 panel displays (1)

sho-gun (2440) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643798)

A group of flight simulator panel display designers from Project Magneta were tasked with making the authentic looking F16 displays for this movie. Thier website is here:
http://www.schiratti.com/bel

There's some comparison shots between the real deal vs. what they came up with. I'd say they did a pretty good job.

The art director of the movie wanted something authentic and not jazzed up as in alot of hollywood flicks.

The Internet is Great! (1)

junis_al_barek_ash_ (540671) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643803)

I have seen this film Mr. Jon Katz has spoken about - it is wonderful. It has been so kick-ass to watch Divx on my COmmodore 64. We have converted the old chicken coop to an Internet Cafe/Media Center - and we have been doing brisk buisness! I have recieved at least 2 Datsun 4x4's and 3 Toyotas in payment for time on the net! Peace Love and Porn from Afghanistan Junis

Did anybody notice the makeup? (1)

bman08 (239376) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643818)

It practically ruins the movie! In the first half of the movie Owen Wilson sports a shiny perlescent lip gloss that practically glows. That and the crusty base that is literally sloughing off both his and David Keith's faces throughout the picture is a terrible distraction from an otherwise good film.

software used for cockpit shots (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643819)

read more here: http://schiratti.com/bel/

the author writes code for people (and movie studios now <g>) to build home cockpits using flight simulator

working on a 717 cockpit myself

Not quite, Jon! (1)

decaf_dude (171976) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643821)


Wilson dodges and battles the Bosnian army

It was the Serbs who executed his partner and were tryig to kill him as well, and not the Bosnians (they actually gave him a ride). I've just seen the movie last night - I remember very well.

Huh, this movie is junk - look other reviews (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643828)

Take a look at some other reviews [imdb.com] - most said this movie was junk.
For example, Ebert gave it only 1.5 stars [suntimes.com]

Katz as movie reviewer? (1, Offtopic)

psych031337 (449156) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643830)

I guess I don't want to read a movie review by someone who can even wet his pants over a totally unrealistic and obviously forged email from an Afghanistan kid...

But maybe that's just me...

Doubt it (1)

Pope (17780) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643838)

I've seen the trailer, and it didn't make me want to see the film. That aside, it's interesting to note that this was supposed to be released in the movie dumping land known as January, but the release was moved up to make it more timely.
There are arguably better films to waste your time on these days, but if you gotta see stuff blowing up, this is pretty much your only choice for quite a while.

Incredible (-1)

goatman.cx (536700) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643848)

Jon Katz not dissing a movie for once, how unlike him.

BOSNIAN army? (1)

Torulf (214883) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643851)

So, we have our Great American Hero fighting the bad Bosnian Army? Which one is it really? As far as I know there were roughly three parties involved: Serbs, Croats and Muslims (Croats with another religion really). The Serbs were mostly depicted as the bad guys by western media, with the Muslims as the major victims. So how about this movie?
Did they get something right or will they just depend on the Good American Audience to be as ignorant about the background as Katz seems to be?

I thought this movie was kind of lame.... (4, Insightful)

neoshmengi (466784) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643854)

The action scenes were definately cool, but I think that plot is still the quintessential part of a movie. There were a number of plot weaknesses.

Who was that random sniper guy who keeps appearearing? What a generic villain. How did he survive 5 or six shots from a pistol?
How did the hero survive a whole battalion shooting at him?? *sigh*

What was up with that random serbian guy he befriended? That kid played NO part at all, so why was he even in there?

They should have worked the genocide angle a little more to make the audience even more angry at the heartless enemy. Not just a generic mass grave...

It just goes to show that even the coolest special effects can't make up for a weak plot. Producers should at least try to make the plot a little more coherent.

That's my 2 cents. Feel free to flame if you loved the movie.

Special Affects? (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643858)

$ dict affect
4 definitions found

From Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913) [web1913]:

Affect \Af*fect"\ ([a^]f*f[e^]kt"), v. t. [imp. & p. p.
{Affected}; p. pr. & vb. n. {Affecting}.] [L. affectus, p. p.
of afficere to affect by active agency; ad + facere to make:
cf. F. affectere, L. affectare, freq. of afficere. See
{Fact}.]
1. To act upon; to produce an effect or change upon.

2. To influence or move, as the feelings or passions; to
touch.

DUH!

Seriously, why is this IDIOT posting movie reviews? Like this is really news for nerds... Or stuff that matters!

Non-SciFi movie reviews on Slashdot? Why? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643869)

I can see a review for The Matrix or Star Wars - but Behind Enemy Lines? Who cares?!! This is not News For Geeks nor is it Stuff That Matters.

on the other hand... (2, Insightful)

dpease (470976) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643873)

warning: i guess some of this could be considered a spoiler.

I caught this flick last night, and while it was OK, I had a few problems with it.
  • 3l33t camera tricks made it hard to watch. The director appeared to think he was making a music video, and not a movie, at times. The quick pans, camera jiggles, and slo-mos were sort of hard to take seriously after a while, and didn't really need to be there IMO.
  • You'll need to seriously check your brain at the door to believe that Wilson can be shot at by literally hundreds of infantry and dozens of armored vehicles throughout the movie and make it out alive. Yeah, yeah, lots of movies are like this, but Behind Enemy Lines was really egregious. The finale was--well, it really made it appear that this battle was being fought in Fantasyland, not Europe.
  • Owen Wilson gets love from the press and from moviegoers, and I don't get it. He seems like a smart and funny enough guy, but he plays the same damn character in every movie he's ever in. He's always something of a smart-ass but otherwise a good person. Seriously, if you can differentiate his performance in this movie from, say, his work in The Haunting, you're paying more attention than me. Sure, this movie didn't suck nearly as bad as The Haunting did, but differentiating slightly sardonic hick-sounding unabashed white guys is tough for me.

Hey, have a hell of a day.

Just a side note... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643874)

Just a side note, this movie was originally slated for release in 8 or so more months. It was rushed to completion and shoved out into studios for 2 reasons. The first being the strike possibility causing a 2-4 month stint of crappy movies where anything halfway decent would be considered a blockbuster. The second, of course, being Sept. 11th.

Another one of Rambo-type retarded movies (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643884)

First of all, the movie is totally technically inacurate for many reasons (anybody who's ever seen combat knows it). I don't even want it to talk about it and I don't have a problem with because it's just a movie. Entertaining movies don't have to follow reality. What I have a problem with is that this movie is just an extension of American murderous propaganda against the Serbs. Unfortunately most dumb Americans learn about history watching movies and CNN. Hey, it's on TV, it has to be true. Just fuck it, I'm wasting my time.

Katz you really missed the boat on this one.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2643890)

Marines fly COBRAS,not Apaches.
If I wanted to be taken seriously, at least I'd insure my articles are accurate.

if (/. eq 'siskel' or /. eq 'ebert'){ puke; } (0, Troll)

tradez (413137) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643904)

When did /. start doing movie reviews too? We are computer geeks, we come to this site to see tech issues argued about over a simple and easy to use medium. Quick wasting the /. space with crap that we could go to E! Online for. Quick wasting our time!

gung-ho? (5, Informative)

pvera (250260) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643920)

"The movie has an authentic, gung-ho quality too it"

Katz, do you even know what the hell gung-ho really means? Gung-ho means "striving for harmony" which is what pretty much the core leadership model for the USMC Raider Battalions (which started as an experiment on chinese comunist guerrilla operations).

Katz was probably referring to the bastardized version of "gung ho" made popular by the propaganda movies of the period.

As for the movie itself, it rocked. Loud as hell and well worth it. The politics of the movie were disturbing, which added to the overall theme.

One thing that did not make any sense was when Gene Hackman called the aircraft carrier a "boat." In the navy a surface vessel is a "ship," while a "boat" is a submarine (not that it matters, since to a submariner, anything on the surface is classified as a target, hostile or not). Notice that our submarines are built at a place called the Electric Boat Company (General Dynamics, http://www.gdeb.com/) while our surface vessels are built in shipyards (like for example Grumman's Newport News shipyard, http://www.nns.com/).

Still, it rocked. It definitely rocked. I think Behind Enemy Lines took the title from Top Gun for the aerial sequences.

This movie is BAD (1)

SevenTowers (525361) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643929)

I have never seen a war movie so butchered. It lacks any substance, i felt empty coming out of the theater. SPOILER - The whole plot is predictable from beginning. Ten minutes after the movie begins you meet the evil franch admiral and the bad guys on the mainland. From there on you know that the good admiral is going to disobey the bad one at some point in the movie. The whole movie stinks of patriotic nonsense (I am american so don't get me wrong) and Hollywood bravado.
Even the actors, which usualy are pretty good to excellent, seemed to be out of synch. The movie gives a kind of artificial feeling and you don't feel like you are at war at all. The movie tries, and fails in a pathetic fashion, to portray the sorrow and fear that is associated with war. Good war movies include Platoon, Kelly's heroes, Tigerland, etc which manage to create a bond between either you and the characters or you and the historic context. This movie does neither. It just plain sucks.

Has anyone seen it? (5, Informative)

90XDoubleSide (522791) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643931)

I would be interested in knowing if anyone who has seen the movie actually agrees that it is worth seeing. While I don't like to avoid seeing a flick just because of someone's bad review, when I go onto it's Rotten Tomatoes page [rottentomatoes.com] and see:

"If you're looking for anything beyond flashy entertainment, Behind Enemy Lines feels out of whack from the start."
-- Stephanie Zacharek, SALON.COM

"The exhausting obsession with gizmos and gotchas only accentuates a baffling disinterest in the story's emotional crux."
-- Jessica Winter, VILLAGE VOICE

"The Bosnian War becomes a video game, Gene Hackman turns into a pseudo-John Wayne, and Owen Wilson and Vladimir Mashkov impersonate The Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote."
-- Michael Wilmington, CHICAGO TRIBUNE

"Pro forma stuff, so much so that you start to wonder why no fetching femme resistance fighter materializes to help the Americans on the ground."
-- Kenneth Turan, LOS ANGELES TIMES

"An implausible military technology adventure that takes about 10 minutes to get started, then climaxes for an hour-and-a-half."
-- Paul Tatara, CNN

as the top five reviews I have to wonder. Couple that with the fact that Film Threat [filmthreat.com] (with whom I agree about 90% of the time) gave it one star, and the sleaziness factor from knowing they moved the release date up to cash in on the September 11th bombing and I think I will be taking this review with more than a grain of salt :)

My take (1)

rosewood (99925) | more than 12 years ago | (#2643935)

I have never been a big fan on the moving shaky cam. Ugh. I get literally stomach sick. Me no likey.

Some of the action seens seemed very unbeleivable, especially when Wilson's character wasn't smart enough to stay quiet when his pilot got shot, nor not to use his name (okay, so he "is only human") but can get into a Serb uniform and dress up another in no time.

I have a lot of minor nitpicks but oh well. All in all a good movie. It was very aparent tho that the director started with directing video game comercials for Sega.

Oh and Kick ASS missle doging scene.
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