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Germany Wants To Put Time Limits On Porn

timothy posted more than 12 years ago | from the land-woman-manners dept.

Censorship 356

nappster writes: "According to this article (sorry, it's in German), Germany thinks it can control the Internet, so now it's considering requiring that porn sites restrict their hours to 11pm to 6am. Exactly how they will coerce sites operating outside Germany is not explained, hence the term 'imbecility' that some have used to describe this proposal." Swim through the German with the Fish.

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FP FOR PR0N (-1, Troll)

Bacillus0101 (267481) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677933)


Time zones? (2, Insightful)

carpe_noctem (457178) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677934)

So, will american porn sites be required to shut down outside of Germany's specified "porn times"? Or just filter all traffic into Germany Communist-China-style?

Communist China Filters (3, Interesting)

J.C.B. (141141) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677971)

The only way they could ever possibly do this is with communist-china-style filters. I could see American/etc porn sites just giving Germany a big fuck you if they try to make them shut down during the day. Porn sites are just far too numerous for Germany to put the kind of pressure on them like France did to Yahoo & (correct be if I'm wrong) ebay.

Not even during the day... (2)

autopr0n (534291) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678006)

Actually, American porn sites would have to be up from around 7am to like 4pm, depending on where in the country they are.

So yeh, it doesn't seem to probable.

Re:Time zones? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2677986)

Well, it's always night *somewhere*

Either you shut the sites down for *everyone's* daytime hours (e.g. no pr0n for you!)


You shut them down only for *your* daytime hours.
(e.g. go to sites located wherever it's night -- 24/7 pr0n, just like normal) The problem with this is that you cannot tell your wife that you were "just reading the articles" when they happen to be in Chinese & you haven't downloaded the kanji fonts and she wants to know what "£ÑÑü" means.

Re:Time zones? (3, Insightful)

thebigbadme (194140) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677987)

As far as filtering and time zones go:
The world has twenty-four timezones; if, by some messed up sort of complete world agreement, Germany begot enforcement from other countries would it be enforced on a continual twenty-four basis? Or would everyone need to filter access at their different, local, times (five hours earlier with eastern standard time, etc)?
This is of course all hypothetical as we all know all world countries interested in filtering pr0n will insist on world enforcement of their own, unique, anti-freedom laws. I mean come on, can anyone see the French in agreance with any law that the United States would ever try to persue?

Re:Time zones? (4, Interesting)

mpe (36238) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678097)

The world has twenty-four timezones

Actually a few more. Some are centred about longitude which is not a multiple of 15 degrees. (e.g. Afganistan.)

A Condensed History of the Penis Bird (-1, Offtopic)

Klerck (213193) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677936)

For years now, the common American penis bird has been a staple of every American's daily diet. Whether it be penis bird sandwiches, fried penis bird, or perhaps penis bird under glass (for the rich), we all have penis bird at least once a day. Many Americans have no clue how the penis bird became so important in the pyramid of a balanced diet, so in this article I will attempt to explain its history and why it is so useful.

In the early 1870s, Francis Zefran became the first penis bird breeder in North America. He started his famous Penis Bird Ranch in Canton, OH. At the time, not much was known of the penis bird's nutritional value, but the Penis Bird Ranch changed all of that. Not only did Francis Zefran raise penis birds to sell their colorful plumes (a VERY lucrative business), he also set up the world's first research lab dedicated solely to the study of the penis bird.

The lab found many interesting things. First, it was discovered that the penis bird was actually semi-sentient. Second, the scientists found that the meat of the penis bird was high in protein, vitamin A, vitamin B, and calcium, while low in fat, cholestorol, and sodium. Never before had such a nutritious meal been had without supplement or fortification. The scientists of the lab recommended immediate that the penis bird become a part of every American's daily diet.

When the news of the penis bird's usefulness reached president Rutherford B. Hayes, he was absolutely ecstatic. You see, President Hayes owed a number of favors to Francis Zefran because as I said earlier, the penis bird plume trade was an extremely lucrative business and Mr. Zefran was important in getting RBH elected through a number of monetary gifts. President Hayes immediately asked Congress to pass what we all know today as the Hayes/Zefran Penis Bird Consumption Act.

The act did a number of things to make the penis bird a daily meal, most important of which was the requirement that for every four people in a household, one penis bird must consumed every day. Another thing the act did was create an artificial monopoly for Francis Zefran's Penis Bird Industries. The act stated that the only supplier of penis bird meat in the US would be PBI. As one would imagine, this quickly made Francis Zefran into the richest man in the world. He was soon a multi-billionaire (quadrillionaire with today's inflation). Never before had a single man seen such wealth.

Many challenges were made to the Hayes/Zefran Penis Bird Consumption Act, and several even made it the Supreme Court. It was argued that the act was unconstitutional and went against liberty itself, but once the detractors tasted delicious penis bird meat for the first time, they immediately dropped their cases and followed the law to the letter. We all know today that penis bird is the most delicious meat man has ever known, but at that time, the only meats people ate were pork and beef.

In the early 1970s, though, challenges to the act began again. Many argued that the monopoly given to Penis Bird Industries by the act was in all ways unamerican. The Supreme Court finally agreed, and in 1974, Section II of the act was struck down. This in effect opened the market to competition for all.

Today, Penis Bird Industries is almost no more. Today we have the market leader Penis Bird Meat International facing against Penissoft, a recent startup. Where will the future lead the penis bird market? Only time will tell us, but one thing is certain: penis birds are here to stay!

< )
( \


*sigh* (1)

O (90420) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677938)

I really wish Germany would stop trying to do shit like this. And I thought their technology laws were always so much better, with their good stance on crypto and such. Makes me very sad to see this.

Re:*sigh* (2, Interesting)

tuxlove (316502) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677957)

I really wish Germany would stop trying to do shit like this. And I thought their technology laws were always so much better, with their good stance on crypto and such. Makes me very sad to see this.

Their technology laws better? Where it costs ten times more for Internet connectivity than it does in the US? Where the government runs the ISPs? For chrissake, you can't even have red LEDs on the front of equipment there because it's against the law!

Admittedly, some of this may have changed since I last checked, since I don't live in Germany. But even so, they're still in the stone age in many ways when it comes to this stuff. Sorry if I sound like I'm Germany-bashing, but this is the topic at hand. Besides, the US gets a lot of bashing, so it's about time we spread it around a little. :) It's so easy to bash the US's stupid technology laws. It's nice to see that other countries are just as capable of making stupid technology laws as US lawmakers. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Re:*sigh* (2, Interesting)

norculf (146473) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677985)

Are you serious about the LEDs? What's the story behind that?

Re:*sigh* (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678072)

1) There are exactly *zero* government-run ISPs over here. T-Online/BTX/Datex-J used to be, but that was back when the Telekom was owned by the government, and even then we already had independent ISPs.

2) I think nearly every single computer sold over here *does* have at least one red LED in its front, and tons of other equipment have it too, so I kinda wonder where you got that idea from.

odd (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2677940)

wtf? i thought europe was supposed to be less hung up about sex?

Re:odd (1)

carpe_noctem (457178) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677944)

So I guess all the stories I've heard about being able to watch pr0n on public television may not be true. =(

Re:odd (1)

Teun (17872) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678026)

It might be true from an US perspective, the German free to air satelite stations have lots of soft porn during night time. But although this stuff hardly raises an eyebrow in Europe would have you shut down and locked up in the US in no time.

talk about passe (5, Funny)

blonde rser (253047) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677942)

I mean Germany trying to take control beyond its borders... that's sooo twentieth century. Next we're going to here that France is going to "surrender" to this.

Which is worse? (4, Insightful)

JTinMSP (136923) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677943)

Dunno, at least it's not the "we're saving the kids, so you have to fork over your credit card" scam that the U.S. Congress enabled.

Re:Which is worse? (1)

Teun (17872) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678034)

But that's what the article says; only sites that don't have such a pre-selection (like a credit card) would be required to install the time clock.

(Oops almost left the l out of clock.....)

Re:Which is worse? (2, Insightful)

JTinMSP (136923) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678046)

But the problem is the scrupulous use of the credit card information... And forgery of said information as it's only for "age verification". You can get into a pandora's box here with sites charging a few cents for stuff, or giving "free" access to that site, but nailing you for $29.99 a month for a different site in a very very deeply hidden clause of the "terms of service". It's yet another case of goverment trying to do the parents job.

So what's the point? (3, Funny)

nil5 (538942) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677945)

What difference will this make? Now you can't jerk off until midnight?

Not to mention that this will be practically impossible to implement.

Re:So what's the point? (1)

ndogg (158021) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678010)

Of course! You don't want people jerking off during their lunch breaks at work, now do you?

Re:So what's the point? (2, Funny)

vrmlknight (309019) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678038)

what about my 10 gig's of porn on my harddrive? when can i look at that?

how am i supposed to... (1, Funny)

Shiska (131) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677946)

JANK OFF my penis during the DAY!? ... WHat the FUCK! /? >>. FUcking germans.

Govt. Mentality (1)

Stillman (185591) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677948)

Well, that's about par for the course.

Non-"tech-savvy" laws being passed which can't possibly be enforced.
I'm just surprised this makes news anymore! :)

Seriously though - surely Governments have tech advisers? What do they do for their money? They never seem to stop the politicos from making idiots of themselves by passing "laws" like this.

My great fear... (5, Troll)

TheEviscerator (240966) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677949)

My great fear is that every country in the world is going to pass its own version of a "decency" law, then attempt to require the conformance of every other country in the world. Soon enough, the Internet will have been watered down to contain only that content which is deemed acceptable, world-wide.

One of the great challenges our world faces over the next century is our ability to accept a global Internet/marketplace, and yet maintain some semblance of independent societies, complete with our own mores and values.

Re:My great fear... (5, Funny)

gnovos (447128) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677958)

Soon enough, the Internet will have been watered down to contain only that content which is deemed acceptable, world-wide.

Acceptible to EVERYONE at the same time? So your saying the internet will eventually consist of a single bit... I wonder if it will be a "1" or if the "0" faction will try to pass a law against that...

Re:My great fear... (5, Interesting)

Spy Hunter (317220) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677962)

My great fear is that every country in the world is going to pass its own version of a "decency" law, then attempt to require the conformance of every other country in the world. Soon enough, the Internet will have been watered down to contain only that content which is deemed acceptable, world-wide.

No, I don't think that will happen. That would require every country in the world to bow to every other country's wishes. That will never, ever happen in a million years. Instead, I fear that countries will start fragmenting the Internet by establishing national firewalls or the like. The Internet may become segregated, split into different pieces by the meddling of misguided politicians. That would be unfortunate.

Re:My great fear... (1)

JohnHegarty (453016) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678041)

Unless the UN get on the case...

Re:My great fear... (2)

autopr0n (534291) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678012)

My great fear is that every country in the world is going to pass its own version of a "decency" law, then attempt to require the conformance of every other country in the world. Soon enough, the Internet will have been watered down to contain only that content which is deemed acceptable, worldwide.

Either or that, or people start using location based IP filters. Not really that hard to do. (Although it would still suck)

Re:My great fear... (1)

QuickFox (311231) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678107)

...only that content which is deemed acceptable, world-wide.

That doesn't exist. For instance, to a Taliban, a woman is indecent unless hidden under a burqa. To the rest of us, forcing women to live under burqas is indecent. So there couldn't be any women on the Internet. But discriminating against women is indecent too.

There is no common ground. Humanity will have to learn how to live with diversity.

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for one day. Teach him how to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime, all the while calling you a miser for not giving him your fish.

Wellll.... (2)

gnovos (447128) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677952)

Considering that it is *always* 11-6 somehwere any the world, I wonder how they expect this to change the way porn web-sites work? Maybe they'll be able to stop the rampant porn in Antartica for six months out of the year...

Re:Wellll.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2677964)

Maybe they'll be able to stop the rampant porn in Antartica for six months out of the year

Look, just because it's dark 6 months out of a year, doesn't mean time stops, or slows down to 24h=1y

Anyone want to estimate... (3, Funny)

Silver222 (452093) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677959)

The number of German bukkake addicts frantically checking what time zone Japan is in and planning their day accordingly?

Things to remember. (5, Funny)

Matt2000 (29624) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677960)

The german parliament should remember to notify all search engines that cache images to shut off access to those images during those hours.

Are these hours affected by daylight savings time? It is important that the German farmers have a chance to get their porn during darkness like the rest of the entire German nation.

If a webserver is put in a balloon and is sent to different timezones where it is always day, should the site still be shut down during German nighttime?

They should also remind German porn kings not to move their sites to a different country.

What happens if the text of the website is educational, and is served from a German server, but there happens to be one picture of a sweet nude lady, but the image is on a foreign server?

These are serious issues that the parliament must deal with from the hours of 9 AM to 11 PM only.

Well... (1)

debolaz (526572) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677965)

Ein Wort beschreibt dieses: Hahahaha
(evidently through babelfish:)

Reality bite (1)

nr (27070) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677967)

Fools. Then will the goverments understand they cant control and restrict access to content on the internet. The Chinese have their GreatFirewall(tm), but everyone still can bypass it easily using anonymity servers, public HTTP proxys, IPsec, SSH or ICMP tunneling, P2P networks, etc.

Star Trek (3, Interesting)

Kris_J (10111) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677969)

This reminds me of Star Trek where they arrive at a planet and decide to wait so they can beam down "at night". The show makes it sound like planets only have a single time zone, or that the whole globe goes dark at once. It all sounds very Flat Earth, but then most of the recent tech legislation sounds like it comes from the Dark Ages.

"They didn't call it the Dark Ages because it was dark." -- Daniel Jackson, Stargate SG-1.

Re:Star Trek (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678033)

One usually wants to beam down to a specific location on the planet, it's not like you can just jog across one.

Let me get this straight... (0, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2677970)

The worst terrorist attack in recorded history occurred in September, followed by a deadly and bloody WAR against the Islamic faith (against the holiest of Muslim clerics and scholars, the beloved Taliban leaders of the Afghanistan people) and now we're struggling to bring order to Afghanistan with the establishment of an interim government, and you people have the gall to be discussing porn time limits???? My *god*, people, GET SOME PRIOR....

Oh wait, you're discussing pr0n? :-D~~~

Carry on amongst yourselves, my bad! (I think I'll pay a visit to in the meantime.)

Re:Let me get this straight... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678116)

I wonder if whoever modded the parent to this jerks off the same way: quick glance, a stroke, then hit the mouse button for the next one.

I dont ask much... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2677972)

I only want to stop being forcing to see these anime stories on slashdot. I mean, I've checked the anime box in the preferences screen... what more am I supposed to do?!

The is appropriate (almost) (3, Funny)

tRoll with Butter (542444) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677974)

The English are known for Tea Time, and now the Germans will be known for Porn Time. What a thing to be associated with! Over here in the states, we simply call it "happy time".

Here's the reason (2, Informative)

batobin (10158) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677981)

Although I don't agree with their decision, I can see where they are coming from.

I was in Germany last summer, and was quite surprised as to what material showed up on my TV. After coming home from a beer garden one night, I flipped on the TV and saw raw porn right before my eyes. I changed the channel, and found more. Public TV, no joke.

The reason for this was that Germany has a kind of "everything goes" rule after 11 PM. TV stations found serving perverts at night was more profitable than merely going off-line.

I think Germany's new proposal is silly, merely because of the vast differences between TV and the Internet. On TV, there are a limited amount of channels, and setting restrictions on what they can display is legitimate. Setting those same restrictions on the much more open Internet just doesn't make sense.

Re:Here's the reason (1)

ndogg (158021) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678013)

Setting those same restrictions on the much more open Internet just doesn't make sense.

Perhaps, but it does allow them to say that they are at least consistant.

Re:Here's the reason (1)

gregfortune (313889) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678050)

It's not really *that* different... See comment about a national firewall. There are only so many access points into the internet infrastructure of Germany and the companies that own that infrastructure can most likely be pursuaded to follow the government's request... Yes, of course someone could get a private satellite link, but that's not going to be very common for some time.

So, as the channels are the control on your TV, the lines in and out of Germany are the control for Germany's internet. Of course, the tech savy can get around blocks like that, but the general populace could be restricted very easily...

Re:Here's the reason (3, Insightful)

Teun (17872) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678053)

That's where we Europeans as a whole differ from North Americans; what German TV is showing at night time is not realy concidered porn over here, OK, the label Soft-Porn is often used but say in Holland, Italy or Denmark you could possible air a minute of that stuff at prime time without getting complaints.

Re:Here's the reason (3, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678054)

What you saw is NOT porn by Germany's legal standards.
The definition is AFAIK: porn contains images of sexually aroused genitals.
That means: penis bird is porn, biology books are not, I'm not sure if goatse even counts as porn.
The films you saw count as "erotic", the means they show sexual actions but not beaver shots etc.
The main brackground for this fuss is that making porn aviable to minors (below age 18) is illegal in Germany (you might get into prison, no joke). In this sense the time retriction is rather braindead, because the porn sites won't be allowed to show porn to minors anyway (at the whole day).
As you correctly noted, the restriction comes from the TV regulations, where erotic content should be only show after 11 PM. AFAIK there isn't even a clear law for this, because some private TV channels show discussions with sex themes even in the afternoon, but they usually get bashed (only verbal) by the official youth protectors afterwards.

But before you whine all along there is something I must point out: Germany and Europe in general are much more tolerant to these things than the US, what they usually sets off is violence, not porn. I must remind you that the US is a country where "fuck" is beeped out in some US shows. These regulations on the internet for Germany are pretty retarded, but never forget that the US have their own retardness in many other respects.

- Posting AC due to NAZI bitchslapping.

Re:Here's the reason (1)

tempfile (528337) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678062)

Wrong. Hardcore porn isn't allowed after 11pm either (I think Pay TV has different rules). TV stations sometimes try to override that rule, but usually get kicked in the butt afterwards.

Re:Here's the reason (2, Informative)

alhague (127665) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678073)

The reason for this was that Germany has a kind "everything goes" rule after 11 PM.

It's really only "a kind of", because "everything" means the same as FSK18. FSK18 means the "Freiwillige Selbstkontrolle" (this is supposed to mean: "there is no such thing as censorship, only voluntary restrictions") says you must not see this unless you're 18.

FSK18-rated movies my be shown in Cinemas, on Public TV from 11pm to 6 am, on encrypted digital TV from 8pm to 6 am (FAQ [] ). They must not be made accessible to children by anybody (in public) apart from their parents (but only in private).

FSK18 is the least restricted class of ratings that is available, but it doesn't cover everything. So there remain certain films,comics,games etc. which may neither be mentioned, nor be made commercials for, nor be broadcast in any media. They may be legaly sold "under the shelf", however, which distinguishes them from still another class, which is actually prohibited material (h*rdc*r* pron, hate speech ...)

Please help (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2677982)

When I tug on my penis many times in rapid succession, it ejects a sticky white liquid and I experience a brief sensation of euphoria. Would someone please explain to me what is going on?

Re:Please help (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2677988)

I'd enlist the help of an expert in this field of study. Ie: a prostitute.

Re:Please help (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2677994)

It sounds like you have a pimple problem.

To fix it rub oxy pads (extra strength) on the area where the white goop exits.

Re:Please help (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678004)

pour gasoline and anti-freeze down there too while your at it...

sensation of euphoria = moment without computer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678071)

That brief sensation of euphoria must have been this moment without your computer

It's only a discussion... (1)

S.Gleissner (536865) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677989)

Come down, they only discuss it.

They are talking about installing these mechanisms on german portals like (the biggest german provider). Two clicks away from the front page, i've found a lot of softcore (really nice ;-) ). They want to restrict the linking to sex sites.

We have a law here in germany, no softcore porno before 10 pm in free tv.


Re:It's only a discussion... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678027)

Even AOL has porn in Germany.

Re:It's only a discussion... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678037)

Ok, I can't resist:
We have a law here in germany, no softcore porno before 10 pm in free tv.
So hardcore porn before 10 pm is OK?

Holding back the evil (2)

imrdkl (302224) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677991)

First DNS manipulation [] in an attempt to block nazi sites, and now this. I guess they have good intentions, but it's just tilting at windmills, imho.

Destroy all censorware (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2677996)

Those fuckin' censorship nazis! What's next, IP banning and "Users" modding down posts at whim?
Oh, wait, that would make them Slashdot.

WHich reminds me: teen free porn pics free porn free adult model pics adult model gyno cams voyeur vision speculums enema punishment dungeons bondage ropes and pain sex toys dildos vibrators anal beads or maybe teensex swallowing cum drinking sperm nude cheerleaders and babysitters schoolgirls black bitches and booty whores sluts ebony hardcore free sex or nude asian babes hentai and manga pregnant woman transsexuals or trannys and grannys or trannies and grannies on nude pics or pornstars like Jenna Jameson Sylvia Saint Raquel Darrian Devon Asia Carrera Tiffany Mynx Nikki Tyler Tara Patrick
teen models cum swallowing whores wicked lesbians anal whores nudeolder women fatty fatty pussy sex XXX Preggos BBW models anal whores ass older sluts fat older women hardcore lesbos XXX anal amateur whores anal site all pregnant porno bent over free porn fisting teenagers sex teensex teenporn nude cheerleaders hardcore cum nasty lolitas sex at 18 boobs palace sex top list free nude amateur

My GOD?! (0, Offtopic)

tRoll with Butter (542444) | more than 12 years ago | (#2677997)

The worst terrorist attack in recorded history occurred just under four weeks ago, and you people are discussing Germany Wants To Put Time Limits On Porn???? My *god*, people, GET SOME PRIORITIES! The bodies of 50,000+ dead people could give a good god damn about Germany Wants To Put Time Limits On Porn, your childish Lego models, your nerf toys and lack of a "fun" workplace, your Everquest/Diablo/D&D addiction, or any of the other ways you are "getting on with your life". This post brought to you by: TrollMaster 2001, making the "get some priorities!" troll simpler than ever, thanks to the tag, pulled directly from the IE title bar. Check out TrollMaster 2001 today at

Dammit! It's 9pm... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2677998)

...I'm horny. And now I have to wait two freaking hours to jerk off. This is nicht gut.

it's always 6-9 somewhere! (0, Redundant)

hashish (62254) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678001)

it all depends on where the content is posted (not viewed).

it's never boring in germany (1)

fr00d (415421) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678005)

man. i am german and i must admit that i feel ashamed of all these stupid ideas. do you remember how Eichel (minister of finances) tried (not successfully) to make a law which would force every employee to keep a log of visited internet-sites (total time of visit, purpose of visit, etc.). just to get more taxes out of us?

this stuff makes me want to live in another country...

Re:it's never boring in germany (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678112)

Which other country?
Switzerland? Austria? (they probably don't want you anyhow, and their laws are similar to yours', albeit not quite as ridiculous)

France? (the goverment there has nothing against porn, the French consider it, more or less, part of their culture, AFAIK)

Denmark? Poland? (don't know about Denmark, but Poland isn't exactly going to have a lot of high bandwidth ISPs)

As a german citizen (5, Informative)

Kong the Medium (232629) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678007)

I read this piece of "NEWS" ( [] reported this item last week [] (Use the fish)), and promplty filled my nose with coffee.

To clarify: the main reason for this so called "Sendezeitbegrenzung" from 11 pm to 6am is the childrens protection act. ( Will somebody please think about the children :-)). It seems some of our politicians haven't greeped the fact that Germany isn't the navel of the world anymore.

In essence this new Law the "Jugendmedienschutz-Staatsvertrag (JMStV)," proposes to extend the youth protection laws allready in place for Radio and TV to the Internet. ( Think FCC for Internet for the North-Americans on /.). So this will be another try, to censor content or to restrict the access to information on the internet. But we all know, how effectfull the earlier tries have been.

I'm sure everybody knews how resourcefull 6-18 year olds can be at getting the po^H^Hinformation one wants.

Re:As a german citizen (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678066)

$ greep
bash: greep: command not found

-- just teasing :)

Re:As a german citizen (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678083)

kong@Angua:~>alias greep='grep -E'

Shame about the spherical earth thing (5, Funny)

Atrax (249401) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678008)

what with time zones being all different and that. however, I have a solution.

We flatten the earth. yup. flatten it. With German industrial ingenuity it shouldn't be a big problem. then we all have roughly the same sunrise and sunset times, therefore allowing germany to restrict opening times in line with other net-opressive nations (Australia - Richard Alston take note)

Of course, how exactly are they going to define "porn", and then how are they going to patrol the net to enforce the whole thing?

It could, of course, be the end to World Unemployment - just give every unemployed person a net connection and ask them to rate porn sites for the German government. SIGN ME UP! I'll quit my job now.

Re:Flatten the Earth (1)

tRoll with Butter (542444) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678023)

Why didn't anyone think of this sooner?

I LOVE this idea!

I wonder if the domain "" is taken? I'd sign the petition in a heartbeat.

Just think of all the problems it would solve... Maps of the earth would finally be accurate without those stupid distoted lines, ships REALLY WOULD fall off if they sailed too far (it would be a great way to increase the Darwin awards...). The overall benefit to Humanity would be unmatched. Microsoft has ample resourses to fund this endeavor, I'm sure they'd be more than happy to invest in such a worthwhile cause.

I'm going to write my congressman today and you should too! Let's work together to make sure the world our children live in, is a FLAT one!

Re:Shame about the spherical earth thing (2)

scott1853 (194884) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678040)

If we build a large reflector that encompasses half the earth, with pivot points on the poles, we could turn it to face away from the sun when we all want it to be dark and turn it toward the sun when we want it to be light. Then the entire planet would be affected at once. That seems more feasible. I'll make out an invoice for Germany tomorrow. Let them foot the bill for their anti-porn measures.

Re:Shame about the spherical earth thing (1)

vrmlknight (309019) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678058)

uummmm news flash but just casue its light or dark out side DOES NOT CHANGE THE TIME OUTSIDE IT JUST makes it light or dark out

Strip clubs and how this could be done... (2)

powerlinekid (442532) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678016)

Now I'm not a german and have never been to germany, but do they have laws governing when strip clubs can be open? I ask this because at least in the US you have to be 18 to get into a strip club, just like the porn sites. Now with that supposing to cover the minors (which it really doesn't... "Please be honest, are you 18?", how is that fair if strip clubs being open whenever they want and porn sites not? I mean in both places you can't really touch the girls anyway (supposedly). Now I've been to strip clubs (I'm not so proud to admit) and to be entirely honest the effect ultimatly isn't that much different from looking at porn. Now on a technical point of view, you could probably make a script in an hour and cover all of this under a crond job for relatively weak enforcement. Basically the front page isn't supposed to have porn on it anyway, so that be freedom of speech should stay up with the rest of the site being chmod 700 when its supposed to be down or chmod 744 when its supposed to up.

Sorry the internet will be closed (2, Funny)

JohnHegarty (453016) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678017)

Sorry , becuase of Germany the internet will be closed for the next 12 hours. Please check about again at 11pm CET. ;-)

Re:Put up signs, like Disney Does! (1)

tRoll with Butter (542444) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678035)

"This website is closed for your future enjoyment."

i do not (0, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678021)

think i am qualified to post.

For crying out loud... (0, Troll)

jlowery (47102) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678024)

Someone needs to run over and remind them that THEY LOST THE WAR!

Oh no. Censorship. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678030)

I expect this post to be moderated into oblivion, but I'll say it anyway ...

Let's all watch a government/community/whatever attempt to moderate media according to their values or tastes and then let's all get on a posting board and act blase because we all know it's *impossible* to implement. Or here's an idea, let's react with pseudo-intellectual outrage because CENSORSHIP IS A BAD THING. That'll be new and different.

Then let's make jokes about wacking off to lighten the issue and above all, and let's not forget this, let us make sure that we never impinge upon the rights of pornographers to make and sell porn because, heaven forbid, if we did that then we might lose other rights as a result down the road not to mention, heavy gasp, impose our sense of morality on someone else.

We must stamp out censorship! Replace religion with tolerance. Everything's all right as long as some moron out there wants access to it.

Well, here's my two cents. Shout it down if you want: Good for Germany. Good for a country that has the guts to pass a law that tells pornographers that their crap should be kept away from children at least in some small way, even if it isn't enforceable. Good for Germany for not worrying about what some lobby of litigious idiots will have to say about their industry being threatened.

To hell with the pornographers. I'm sick of their spam, their Web practices, the press they get and the fat, acne-ridden nerds that jerk off to their computer screens and provide and audience for articles on CNet like "What we can learn from porn sites". Jeez.

Disagree? Yawn. Go pull out your old Ethics text book and be righteous. God knows there isn't enough of that going around. Just don't force your opinions on me.

just set up a porn-get cronjob (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678036)

porn-get []

It's not quite that bad (4, Informative)

tempfile (528337) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678039)

I agree that the idea is a joke, but first I want to clarify something that probably got lost in all the babelfishification (I'm German). The article says that "content not suitable for minors may only be made accessible between 11pm and 6am, if there are no access-control facilities installed". First, Germany's laws about erotica are rather lax. Softcore is rated "16 years" per se, so it's not even affected. Second, the law would only affect sites that freely distribute their content without stuff like adult content.

So the bottom line is that the only sites affected would be free-access hard core porn sites. Of course, controlling all this is technically impossible, and the very arising of the idea is due to technically illiterate German politicians. Several of ideas like this were turned down over the past few years when the people who know what they're talking about basically told them that they would be either technically impossible or extremely expensive.

Re:It's not quite that bad (1)

tempfile (528337) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678047)

Ugh, of course, "adult content" in the first paragraph should read "adult check". Note to self: Use the preview button.

Sample "Out of Time" Message: (5, Funny)

mESSDan (302670) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678045)

I am being very sorry, but it is currently only 3:30 PM where you are being located. This is meaning that we are not able to be serving you any pr0n until it is being 11 PM your time. Please, it is still early, so going out and trying to get laid, if you are unable to being laid, you may visit us at 11 PM where we will serving you many a good pr0n!

Government Performance Reviews (2)

scott1853 (194884) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678048)

Why is it that government officials aren't paid based on performance, like the rest of us are? If you give the greedy bastards the option of either being an idiot and making $100,000 per year, or being halfway intelligent and making $250,000, which do you think they'd choose.

This reminds me of that official that said masturbation should be taught in the schools. I believe she exceeded the red line on the stupidity gauge and got fired.

Re:Government Performance Reviews (2, Interesting)

ImaLamer (260199) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678095)

This reminds me of that official that said masturbation should be taught in the schools. I believe she exceeded the red line on the stupidity gauge and got fired.

Why is that idea so stupid?

It was a suggestion by the Surgeon General [whom no one ever listens to] [] because of AIDS [etc] and teenage pregnancy. I still believe that it was a great idea, but no one really knew why she had suggested it.

She didn't want to teach techniques [we all figured it out on our own] she wanted to remove stigma and simply give the idea up for an alternative to fucking the person who sat in front of you when you were board.

This type of law would keep boys from beating it [or girls from swirling it] and leave them no other choice but to either go for the [family pet here] or their friends.

What about cached pages? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678052)

... and desktop papers, and screen savers? =:-b

Did anybody read the article? (3, Insightful)

JohanV (536228) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678055)

My German isn't that good, but I believe that the fragment falls keine "Vor- und Freisperrtechniken" installiert sind translates roughly to if no access controls are implemented (please correct me if I am wrong, but Babel Fish is as useless as usual).

Bypassing the technical/political/legal issues (I think we all agree on the feasibility of this proposition) I believe that it is a good thing if a country limits access to sexual oriented online content in accordence with the law IRL. And as I say in accordance with the law IRL this naturally implies that the law should not have any extraterritorial effects.
If the Germans wish to limit uncontrolled daytime access to sexually oriented content located on servers on German territory they have my blessing.

Lucky For Me... (2, Funny)

DelyApple (322505) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678069)

My Pr0n Network is out on International Waters, sattelite-uplinked from a fixed-up Taiwanese Cannery Boat! Take that, decency laws! No one can stop me... unless... oh no, the dolphins! They're... Noooo!

*transmission lost @ source*

Stupidity (2, Insightful)

whanau (315267) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678075)

You gotta admit this is the ultimate in stupidity - I can have sex
24 hrs a day whenever I want, but I can't watch others between a
certain time. WTF?

Re:Stupidity (1)

Suicide (45320) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678105)

Wow, I want your life. I live with my girlfriend and I can't have sex whenever I want.

And furthermore, why would someone who can have sex 24 hrs a day whenever he wants ever even consider watching other people? Honest question.

The Pr0n can also be found offline (1)

Serpentis Letalis (542449) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678077)

I think all we know that xxx rated stuff can be found in some black market places.
Setting time restrictions isnt a solution.
Such 10-16yrold kids will find that stuff through friends, ads, or even ask someone adult to buy a videotape for them.
I'ts like fighting a Hydra -> head down - more left.
Germans need to block offline content first.
Such rules - just ridiculous stuff

Sorry, no can do... (-1)

Trollificus (253741) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678080)

...I do most of my whacking off during work hours and early evening.

Don't be so hypocritical people (2)

evilviper (135110) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678085)

I admit that the headline sounds very infamatory, but we really don't know much about why they made such an obviously insane law. We must remember, every country has it's stupid laws.

Here in the good ol' USA it's illegial to 'Link' to sites containing information about DeCSS. That doesn't mean you can't post the URLs... They just can't be in link form. Not to mention the narrow-ness of the ruling. It's still legal to link to sites which link to DeCSS, and css-auth is still perfectly legal as well.

That's just the example off the top of my head. There's obviously tons of others that could be sited to show the stupidity of some laws.

Britain is not in europe (0, Offtopic)

t_allardyce (48447) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678086)

On behalf of everyone here, I want to make it absolutely clear that Britain is not part of Europe. We have nothing to do with stupid French or German laws (Switzerland and Finland are OK). We don't like Europe and we don't have anything in common with them. In fact we are not even technically in the continent of Europe - this dates back to caveman-times when we attempted to separate ourselves by digging a _massive_ channel between them (the channel tunnel has an emergency flood feature just in case). Unfortunately, we think Tony Blair is 'European' if its true, he will be shot as a traitor.

When governments realise that they can't censor the internet, and corporations realise that they can't make any money off it, and the recording industry realises that they can't stop P2P, then there will be allot of pissed off people - hopefully some of them will jump off buildings making a _great_ show :)

Whats from 6AM to 11PM? News and cartoons? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678088)

Hmmm, then from 6AM and 11PM servers can
be used for some family matters and cartoons for children.

OK, this is my plan for more ambitious porn site:

6AM-8AM: Donald Duck
8AM-10AM: Toy Story
8PM-9PM: News
9PM-11PM: Shakespear in Love
11PM-6AM: porn


Why not filtering & monitoring tools? (0)

webwench_72 (541358) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678090)

"Erotik providers are the only on-line industry, which writes black numbers." LOL!

German politicians would emphasize parental responsibility (to beat a skeletal horse) instead, via the use of personal filtering and monitoring tools [] , or even *gasp* supervision! Surely this would give them better results than attempting to regulate 'hours of operation' of porn sites over which they have no control whatsoever.

I love when politicians attempt to draft legislation around technical issues, without the slightest attempt to learn about the issue. There's really no excuse for it.

do american portals have links to porn (1)

jas79 (196511) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678093)

On portals such as T-Online on Erotik pages without sufficient acces protection one link
a mayor german ISP shows links to porn on there main page. what would happen if AOL did that?

"It expects now a stronger printing on the contents contents of to banish references to Sex supplies in the virtual Hinterzimmer"

It is about the links to the sites. If someone want to find the sites they can , but they just want to make it harder.

Hackers? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678096)

How would it be done? It would probably have to check the time of its users clock (which isn't too hard) but you could easily change the clock. Don't forgen theres a lot of hackers who could probably crack this nonsence. I don't want to get up 11pm to look at dirty pictures! I wan't to do it now :)

Unemployed. (1)

ImaLamer (260199) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678100)

I sit at home all day, with no transportation, nothing really 'to-do' 'cept read /. and beat it.

Now if I can't do that, I'll go back to sleeping all day and staying up all night.

Good thing I'm a US citizen...

... did I just type that?

One Porn... (One week Parody) (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2678106)

Sung to the tune of "One Week" It's been a week since you e-mailed me. If cyber offends you don't think that I am sorry. Five days since you punted me. Said GPF error (Didn't use CYRiX's anti) Three days since the kiddie porn room. Downloaded hundreds of pics after many moons. Yesterday you tried to TOS me. But it'll be 2 years until AOL terms me. Hold my schlong now and watch my screen blink. Haven't showered now I stink. When you smell me you'll wish I had Earthlink (or think I am that Wurkin' Man) Thanks for the bisk but I got phished although I am pissed I like to chat; it's like a free porno mag! Hot like 1900 when I send IM's, Big like ISP's (I don't know the meaning of value) Inside-AOL's got lots of hits, Cassell's fulla shit, the newsgroups flame me, but I come through. Gonna make a fake, can't take a break, I'd like a stinkin' fuc*ing proggie I am a leet0 haxor gonna scroll a phucking macro! Cause then you'll know that it is you I own cause I'm so dangerous I've owned you from the get go. Can I help it my AOL gets paid by mom and dad? If I had a job they'd be really glad. I'm the kinda guy that quit school to be online.. can't reed or spiel and I don't think I'll ever try. I have a tendency to lose my head when I sign on.. I have a history test but I am gonna ditch. It's been one week since you all trolled me. (If I get an ISP, they'll all say they're sorry.) 5 days since you cybersexed me I still got the friction-burns on my keys. 3 days since that afternoon It's not my fault I lose my connection so soon. Yesterday since they all spammed me... And now I sit back and look at all this porno I got for free.. Porny porn room, I'm chokin' my chicken.. I let go of my prick and my brain stops tickin'.. Look at my pics with the lights on, if I turn the light off, in comes my dad and mom. I'm a haxor I worship Kevin Mitnick Like TOS I am spastic... Like my connection I am guranteed to lose it. Like AOHell I make the mad progs Ok I don't make progs But if I did they'd be really leet.

Who is going to enforce this? (1)

shd99004 (317968) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678111)

Will they hire a lot of people checking out every link and then make a decision, should this go or not? As the brittish censor John Trevelyan said: "We are paid to have dirty minds".

Not unexpected (1)

hwilker (225377) | more than 12 years ago | (#2678117)

Most of the stupid things about the internet emanating from Germany these days seems to be the result of people in certain positions trying to apply the laws and rules for which these positions are responsible to the "new" medium "Internet". An example other than the porn time limitation is the debate over a regional agency trying to single-handedly block access to extreme-right and neo-nazi web sites.

The originators of these, to /. readers obviously hare-brained, ideas usually have a pretty narrow outlook on all this, because they try to enforce a single law or set of laws. The would-be porn banners (p.i.) see that it is forbidden to broadcast certain types of content, including porn/nudity/etc., at certain times over old-style media like TV. They see the Internet as "something like TV, because pictures appear on a screen", and try to regulate using the old rules.

The fact that this might not work doesn't even enter their bureaucrat heads until the moment when they wonder why they are the target of much ridicule and laughter.

Right. I forgot that they a) don't care about what others say, because they are right anyway; and b) they are unlikely to hear the laughter anyway.

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