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Christmas Spam Level Skyrocketing

timothy posted more than 12 years ago | from the bring-back-the-stockade-please dept.

Spam 286

dbolger writes: "ZDNet has this brief, but interesting article about how the amount of spam we recieve in our inboxes has increased 650% since this time last year. Nice to know that that anti-spam legislation passed a while back is having an effect (not)." For PINE users, just remember the magic spell: "m s r f a."

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286 comments

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Send your letters to the DOJ before it's too late! (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681124)

To whom it may concern,

Please amend your settlement in the Microsoft case to include provisions against a vile homosexual practice known as "snotting." Snotting is a practice that is very common in the technology sector. The procedure is simple: a man sucks onto the penis of another man and then proceeds to blow the semen out his nose back onto his partner.

I have spent 13 months now as a professional crapflooder at the popular technology website Slashdot.org and I have had the misfortune to see snottings performed by many of the Slashdot editors, most notoriously one Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda. I cannot describe the disgust I experienced when I saw this pudgy, naked geek fill his mouth with another's semen, jerk his head back, and sneeze it onto his partner's face.

If Bill Gates begins to snot his consumers the same way he has screwed them all over for the past two decades, then the terrorists have already won.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
J. Wipo Troll, Esq.
wipotroll@hotmail.com

Re:Send your letters to the DOJ before it's too la (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681132)

now that there's a nice fine first psot.
snot me baby one more time!

You have troll breath! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681426)

Trolling slashdot may be fun, but your oral health should still come first. Bad breath can lead to serious health problems, not to mention monitor damage. Thankfully, you can take use the 20 second formkeys delay to your benefit! Next time you're going for frost pist, take a swig of Listerine and swish it in your mouth... When the stinging becomes unbearable, spit (in a bowl or bucket, not on your computer) and click post - works everytime! You'll get frost pist and have minty fresh breath! Horay for Listerine and the formkeys delay!

msrfa? (1)

ard (115977) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681125)

Can you please enlighten a mutt-lover what this "magic spell" does in pine?

Re:msrfa? (5, Informative)

KarmaPolice (212543) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681146)


Main menu
Setup
Rules
Filters
Add

But this doesn't work unless you know what to look for in spam...and none are alike

Re:msrfa? (2)

Rentar (168939) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681174)

So apart from the specific key combination it has nothing at all to do with pine, right?

And IMHO filtering in the MUA is the most low-level spam-prevention possibility. There are several fine anti-spam systems out there.

'though I myself don't use them, yet. I make a sport out of finding a rule that catches the spam that reaches my inbox and is sensible enough not to filter any other mail (just recently I got a problem, that I couldn't receive mail from any student of a specifiy university, 'cause they got [a-z]@university-domain and I filtered on [a-z]*[0-9]{3,}@.* ...). It certainly isn't the most effective way, but ... well, at least I learn some regular expressions ;-)

Re:msrfa? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681148)

(M)ain (S)etup (R)ules (F)ilter (A)dd Although I just use procmail...

Re:msrfa? (1, Redundant)

nekkid (218890) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681152)

Doesn't work in pine4.05, but it does in 4.40. Dunno when it started working.

(M) ain menu
(S) etup
(R) ules
(F) ilters
(A) dd

And then you fill out a filter pattern.

all-linux rendering shop -- and free software?? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681126)

Wow, not only will the Terminator 3 team use an all-Linux render farm [yahoo.com] for generating special effects and CG animations, but there's a rumor on the ILM IRC channel that custom graphics software is being developed using the GPL. [yahoo.com] Who says that Open Source isn't viable for business? :-)

-- The_Messenger

Re:all-linux rendering shop -- and free software?? (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681142)

Open Source is responsible for unleashing the most ungodly of homosexual practices onto mankind -- a practice known as "snotting." A homosexual man slurps up his partner's semen, swishes it around in his mouth, then proceeds to sneeze it back onto his partner's face, out of his nose.

CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, Homos and Roblowme are well-known jizz snotters. Please write your congressman to outlaw this practice before it's too late!

Re:all-linux rendering shop -- and free software?? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681212)

Don't forget Timmah! [geocities.com]

-- The_Messenger

HELL YA!!! (-1)

Retarded_One (518093) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681229)

Over at Yahoo! [yahoo.com] , there is a great article the massive hole being left in the proprietary software industry!!!

Magic Pine Spell? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681127)

What does M S R F A exactly do?

right.... (3, Redundant)

dr_labrat (15478) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681130)

How does this compare against the overall growth of the internet, though?

The growth in the number of people connecting to the net should be much higher....

Re:right.... (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681155)

The Internet has actually shrank in the past 18 months, mostly due to a practice commonly known in homosexual circles as "snotting." CmdrTaco is a well-known snotter, and has his very own characteristic form of snotting named after himself [slashdot.org] . Any homosexual in the world can tell you what it means to be "Taco-snotted."

No heterosexual wants to go near the Internet, save a few brave and crusading souls such as myself, for fear of being snotted via HTTP.

Re:right.... (2, Interesting)

MLC2012 (467954) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681169)

It's a simple equation...

The cheaper PC parts get, the more new users.
The more new net users (AOLers?), the more spam.

I recall reading something on news.admin.net-abuse.email a while ago about a company that provided webhosting to businesses, and something like 95% of their new customers spammed. I'd imagine that rate could be applied to new members of online services a la AOL, Prodigy, et al, and probably half that rate for new net users connecting via actual ISPs.

Re:right.... (2, Insightful)

DCowern (182668) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681192)

I seriously doubt the internet has 6.5 times the number of users it had a year ago. In fact, the UCLA report mentioned on Slashdot yesterday [slashdot.org] shows that internet usage by Americans grew by 66.9%.

Assuming the rest of the world's internet growth mirrors that of the U.S. (which I assure you it hasn't), the amount of spam being sent is growing 10x faster than the number of new users coming online.

Re:the rest of the world... (5, Interesting)

MS (18681) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681257)

The rest of the world (= non-us) accounts for about 67% of all internet users, and is growing more rapidly, as there is more room for new users. The US is reaching saturation.

Despite more than 2/3 of the Internet-users beeing non-us-citizens, 90% of all spam originates in the US. This is most likely due to permissive legislature in the US. In Italy for example collecting (e-mail)addresses and other personal data is illegal, unless you have written permission from the user, or you have a business realationship (italian law #675/96, aka privacy law).

IMHO, stopping the increasing number of spam-mails is only possible with legislature forcing opt-in methods for advertisers and huge fines for those who don't conform.

Ciao,
ms

Re:right.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681213)

Just stop and think about this for a second before racing for a 1st post. Did the Internet grow to 6.5 times the size in 1 year? Does it seem reasonable? Or maybe you're confused about what a 650% year-over-year growth rate implies? (since you said The growth in the number of people connecting to the net should be much higher).

Now, moderators, bitchslap the karma-whoring parent back into the -1 territory it so obviously deserves. On behalf of /. readers everywhere, thank you.

Re:right.... (-1)

Retarded_One (518093) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681220)

Over at Yahoo! [yahoo.com] , there is a great article about the growth of the internet and the gaping size of spam being sent.

pine (0, Redundant)

Marcus Brody (320463) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681136)

i dont use pine.
what is this cryptic m s r f a ?

or is it some obvious joke i have missed?

Re:pine (5, Funny)

carpe_noctem (457178) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681153)

Mutilate Spam Right Fucking Away.

Re:pine (2, Redundant)

Phork (74706) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681166)

its the command to add a filter:

(M) ain menu
(S) etup
(R) ules
(F) ilters
(A) dd

m s r f a (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681158)

doesn't do anything in pine, m isn't even a command... guess i missed the joke o.o

Yahoo Spam filters (5, Informative)

LS (57954) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681159)

I use a yahoo address for my email, and have it forward to my local server's mailbox. Yahoo adds a header "X-Rocket-Spam" to mail tagged as spam, and I use procmail to filter these out. While their spam detection still works pretty well, ever since the economy went to shits their filtering has progressively gotten worse. I suspect that they are letting certain spam slip for a fee. It used to catch everything, but now I get at least 10 messages a day getting through.

LS

Re:Yahoo Spam filters (1)

Arsewiper (535175) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681193)

I think the spammers have found a way around the Yahoo filter. Hotmail recently added a filter which worked fine for a week or two but now I get three or four a day getting through to the inbox.

Re:Yahoo Spam filters (4, Informative)

PigleT (28894) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681194)

You could look into _spamassassin_(.taint.org) and _razor_(.sourceforge.net) as well, btw.
I'm now using those, finding spams semi- heuristically and reporting SHA1 hashes to razor servers, with much happiness.

Re:Yahoo Spam filters (-1)

Retarded_One (518093) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681223)

Right here at Yahoo! [yahoo.com] , there is an very deep article about how to configure your Yahoo! account to reject spam. Check it out!

Re:Yahoo Spam filters (2)

Malc (1751) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681209)

I filter my Yahoo mail based on the header X-YahooFilterdBulk. It catches about 90% of the spam. I've gone from 20+ spams a day to a couple a week.

Jizz snot!! (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681160)

Ohhhhhhhhhh my Godddd he got me!!! He came right through my monitor and snotted his spooge all over my face!! Ohhhhh Goddd this is disgusting!!! Taco, you sick, sick man! I'll get you yet!!

(WIPO's all over this spamthread like a pig in slop.)

no r... (2, Informative)

Lish (95509) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681161)

Too bad my Pine 3.95 (the version on our university system) doesn't have an "r" command in setup. It apparently lets you set up "rules" for filtering, according to the Pine FAQ [washington.edu] .

Re: no r... (2, Funny)

Black Parrot (19622) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681208)


No r? Since this is a Christmas thread, your subject should have been No l.

Both sites and advertisers are desperate (5, Interesting)

Artifice_Eternity (306661) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681162)

I was laid off from a marketing/"branding"/ad firm in July, b/c they just weren't getting the web development business they once had. Banner ad rates have plummeted, and we are being assaulted by ever-more-maddening varieties of web ads (huge banners, popunders, clickthroughs, and now "shoshkeles"!?). Sites feel they have to give advertisers more for their money, simply in order to bring in the same revenue as during the dot-com boom.

When will this madness stop? Users may flee sites that harass them too strongly. Then again, the general level of advertising in our environment has been slowly but steadily increasing for decades. I doubt this trend will stop anytime soon.

I agree. (-1)

Retarded_One (518093) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681232)

I just read a great article at Yahoo! [yahoo.com] , about the massive plunge in the overall ad industry. There is some neat stuff about opensource making some inroads!

Re:I agree. (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681244)

A real profound article.

Cheers,

--fred

Re:Holiday spam (1)

blibbleblobble (526872) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681167)

It's good to see in the article that something is being done about it though - I'm sure we've all thought about the idea of a list of spammers/suspicious emails, but it seems that such a database is actually in serious use.

Keep up the good work.

Hello, Taco-snotters!! (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681168)

By The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org] , $Revision: 1.12 $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda [cmdrtaco.net] gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.
So this time, he found you. Lucky you.
CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation,
VA Software [yahoo.com] . CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."
Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTaco's face [yahoo.com] , dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."
A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel [yahoo.com] , and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention [yahoo.com] . He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass [yahoo.com] with his "monolithic kernel [yahoo.com] ," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called "
Katz juicy-douching [yahoo.com] " with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass [yahoo.com] onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus [yahoo.com] . He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

  1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105 [slashdot.org] )

    this is good shit man

  2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Dark_Cobra87 [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180 [slashdot.org] )

    Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

  3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
    by Fecal Troll Matter [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791 [slashdot.org] )

    Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce... [galeon.com]

    Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

  4. Look (Score:-1)
    by ArchieBunker [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679 [slashdot.org] )

    I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
    http://www.naawp.org/

  5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602 [slashdot.org] )

    Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.

    I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

  6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213 [slashdot.org] )

    Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

  7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
    by perdida on [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764 [slashdot.org] )

    Shut up you asshole.

    I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

  8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035 [slashdot.org] )

    You weiner trool!

  9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574 [slashdot.org] )

    try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

  10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370 [slashdot.org] )

    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...

    CmdrTaco

  11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815 [slashdot.org] )

    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...

    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.

    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).

    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.

    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610 [slashdot.org] )

      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS [militariacollection.com] uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

  12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325 [slashdot.org] )

    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

  13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311 [slashdot.org] )

    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

  14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191 [slashdot.org] )

    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?

    -Trollaxor

  15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488 [slashdot.org] )

    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

  16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446 [slashdot.org] )

    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?

    Excellent FP, sir.

    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

  17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407 [slashdot.org] )

    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

  18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756 [slashdot.org] )

    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!

    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.

    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?

    thanks

  19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695 [slashdot.org] )

    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

  20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667 [slashdot.org] )

    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

  21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510 [slashdot.org] )

    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.

    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

  22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336) [slashdot.org]

    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

  23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054 [slashdot.org] )

    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!

    For more info check out this /. article [google.com]

  24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822 [slashdot.org] )

    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too

    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832 [slashdot.org] )

      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com

      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

  25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438 [slashdot.org] )

    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET [wilwheaton.net]

  26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342 [slashdot.org] )

    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:

    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(

    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.

    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)

    You finding Ling-Ling's [babysue.com] head?

  27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300 [slashdot.org] )

    I do it wrong

    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.

    Massaging my nutsack she....

    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!

    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]

    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"

    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"

    I DO IT WRONG!!!!

    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

  28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596 [slashdot.org] )

    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.

    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

  29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601 [slashdot.org] )

    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

  30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457 [slashdot.org] )

    The WIPO Troll [foundus.com]
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

  31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632 [slashdot.org] )

    Oh, man that's just sick !

  32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604 [slashdot.org] )

    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

  33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495 [slashdot.org] )

    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

  34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890 [slashdot.org] )

    Where the fuck do I sign up?!

    - I throw rocks at retarded kids

    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

  35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753 [slashdot.org] )

    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

  36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746 [slashdot.org] )

    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

  37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701 [slashdot.org] )

    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

  38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266 [slashdot.org] )

    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com

    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

  39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024 [slashdot.org] )

    +5, Arousing

    For more info check out this /. article [google.com]

  40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891 [slashdot.org] )

    WINNER>

  41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887 [slashdot.org] )

    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

  42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412 [slashdot.org] )

    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!

    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Alone? (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681173)

Is WIPO alone? No other trolls here, no first poasters, no nothing. WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME TO DIE IN MY JIZZ SNOT!?!?!?

Wah.

Want to incur a LARGE cost on spammers? (4, Interesting)

vandan (151516) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681180)

Get your own back from SPAMMERS! Click the link and follow through to each of the SPAMMER's advertisments you wish to 'pay back' for their fine services. The cost to the SPAMMERS per click is displayed next to each advertisment. Only one click per day per person per advertisement is counted... http://www.overture.com/d/search/?type=home&Keywor ds=bulk+email [overture.com]

Re:Want to incur a LARGE cost on spammers? (3, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681513)

And here's my spamhurt.php file.

<?php
error_reporting(E_ALL);
set_time_limit(0);

$agents = array("Mozilla/4.75 [en] (X11; U; Linux 2.2.16 i686)",
"Mozilla/4.74 [en] (X11; U; Linux 2.2.10 i686)",
"Mozilla/4.72 [en] (X11; U; Linux 2.2.12 i686)",
"Mozilla/4.73 [en] (X11; U; Linux 2.2.14 i686)",
"Mozilla/4.77 [en] (X11; U; Linux 2.4.3 i686)",
"Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux 2.2.16 i686; en-US; 0.7) Gecko/20010105",
"Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux 2.2.14 i686; en-US; 0.7) Gecko/20010105",
"Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux 2.4.3 i686; en-US; 0.6) Gecko/20001206",
"Mozilla/4.51 [en] (WinNT; U)",
"Mozilla/4.72 [en] (WinNT; U)",
"Mozilla/4.74 [en] (WinNT; U)",
"Mozilla/4.08 [en] (WinNT; U)",
"Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Win95; en-US; rv:0.8.1+) Gecko/20010426");

srand((double)microtime() * 1000000);
shuffle($agents);
$agentCount = sizeof($agents) - 1;

function HTTPGet($url)
{
global $agents, $agentCount;
if(!($fp = fsockopen("www.overture.com", 80))) return FALSE;
fwrite($fp, "GET $url HTTP/1.0\r\nHost: www.overture.com\r\nUser-Agent: " . $agents[mt_rand(0, $agentCount)] . "\r\n\r\n");
$html = fread($fp, 100000);
fclose($fp);
return $html;
}

mt_srand((double)microtime() * 1000000);
preg_match_all("/<a href=(.*xargs.* ?)>/U", HTTPGet("/d/search/?Keywords=bulk+email"), $urls);
preg_match_all("/<a href=(.*xargs.* ?)>/U", HTTPGet("/d/search/?Keywords=bulk+mail"), $urls2);
$urls = array_merge($urls[1], $urls2[1]);
shuffle($urls);
$linkCount = sizeof($urls) - 1;

while(TRUE)
{
$html = HTTPGet($urls[mt_rand(0, $linkCount)]);
if(strstr($html, "HTTP/1.1 302")) echo preg_replace("/^.*Location: http:\\/\\/(.*?\\r\\n).*$/s", "\\1", $html);
}
?></A></A>

Re:Want to incur a LARGE cost on spammers? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681559)

Add this to your daily cron:

wget -r -l 1 -U "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows 98; DigExt)" -q -O /dev/null "http://www.overture.com/?type=home&Keywords=bulk+ email"

Yes, I'm sure there are more refined ways of doing this, but hey, this is quick and easy and the extra few links hit won't be noticed if you schedule for out of hours running.

Re:Want to incur a LARGE cost on spammers? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681576)

There's no space char after the ? or the +

Prior to installing it in cron, you should check that it's doing its thang correctly by running it from the CL (in a temporary directory to ease crud clearup) without the -q and -O options.

Bullshit Article (0)

the_furies (541751) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681182)

The article is practically spam itself. It states that "junk email" is up 650%, then neglects to define what "junk email" might be (evidently they mean any non-work related email, the fascists)! A fucking penis enlargement device message is more informative.

Speaking of junk, here's the gayest email chain-letter [cmsu.edu] ever. Enjoy.

Re:Bullshit Article (1)

Mister Gribbley (87789) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681469)

Mmm. Cut spam by up to 650% just by filtering out non-work addresses?

Re: Christmas spam (1)

blibbleblobble (526872) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681188)

Even given peoples' moans about outlook express, it is possible to do some very effective filtering.
I have filters for <<snowhite, casino, "i send you this file..." and the spanish equivalent, xxx, the inverted question mark, and the yen symbol>>.

Granted, this mailbox gets nowhere near the amount of crap thrown at it as does my yahoo account, but those filters do tend to delete most of it quite well.

<too much of>
Anyone want a list of opt-in email addresses for $30?

  • awhite@yahoo.com
  • bwhite@yahoo.com
  • cwhite@yahoo.com
</too much of>

Spam or junk? (5, Insightful)

spamkabuki (458468) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681189)

Looked at the headline and thought "Hmmm, I haven't gotten that much more spam...". Spam seems to be a bit of a misnomer here. Sure, there is some increase in holiday advertising and such, but spam (i.e. unsolicited e-mail) isn't what they are really complaining about here.

In the body of the article, they describe how jokes, animations, and greeting cards are clogging the system. Well, duh! Ask the USPS. They get clogged with lots of this stuff at this time of year; they're called Christmas cards.

This isn't really spam per se. It generally comes from people you know, even if you only hear from them once a year. Somehow the mailman and my mailbox cope with the onslaught every year. If your corporate infrastructure can't handle it, well what will you do if there is a legitimate boost in business traffic?

I guess these people will just crack the whip on corporate use policies again. Fat lot of good that seems to do.

All this trumpeting about %650 increased spam is an alarmist waste. (Not that I really want any more of the tons of weight-loss pills; credit fixing programs; appeals from Nigerian humanitarian organizations looking for my bank account number, promising free money for my help.)

Re:Spam or junk? (2)

cperciva (102828) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681202)

appeals from Nigerian humanitarian organizations looking for my bank account number, promising free money for my help

You get those emails from humanitarian organizations? I always get those emails from some relative of a deceased dictator or general.

Maybe these emails are more targetted than we think...

Re:Spam or junk? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681210)

you have a small penis, don't you?

Ahhhhhhhhh.... CHOOO!! (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681195)

By The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org] , $Revision: 1.12 $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever
Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda [cmdrtaco.net] gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.
So this time, he found you. Lucky you.
CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation,
VA Software [yahoo.com] . CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."
Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTaco's face [yahoo.com] , dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."
A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel [yahoo.com] , and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention [yahoo.com] . He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass [yahoo.com] with his "monolithic kernel [yahoo.com] ," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called "
Katz juicy-douching [yahoo.com] " with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass [yahoo.com] onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus [yahoo.com] . He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

  1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105 [slashdot.org] )

    this is good shit man

  2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Dark_Cobra87 [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180 [slashdot.org] )

    Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

  3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
    by Fecal Troll Matter [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791 [slashdot.org] )

    Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce... [galeon.com]

    Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

  4. Look (Score:-1)
    by ArchieBunker [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679 [slashdot.org] )

    I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
    http://www.naawp.org/

  5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602 [slashdot.org] )

    Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.

    I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

  6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213 [slashdot.org] )

    Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

  7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
    by perdida on [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764 [slashdot.org] )

    Shut up you asshole.

    I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

  8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035 [slashdot.org] )

    You weiner trool!

  9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574 [slashdot.org] )

    try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

  10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370 [slashdot.org] )

    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...

    CmdrTaco

  11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815 [slashdot.org] )

    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...

    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.

    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).

    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.

    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610 [slashdot.org] )

      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS [militariacollection.com] uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

  12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325 [slashdot.org] )

    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

  13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311 [slashdot.org] )

    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

  14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191 [slashdot.org] )

    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?

    -Trollaxor

  15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488 [slashdot.org] )

    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

  16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446 [slashdot.org] )

    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?

    Excellent FP, sir.

    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

  17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407 [slashdot.org] )

    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

  18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756 [slashdot.org] )

    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!

    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.

    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?

    thanks

  19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695 [slashdot.org] )

    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

  20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667 [slashdot.org] )

    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

  21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510 [slashdot.org] )

    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.

    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

  22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336) [slashdot.org]

    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

  23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054 [slashdot.org] )

    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!

    For more info check out this /. article [google.com]

  24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822 [slashdot.org] )

    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too

    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832 [slashdot.org] )

      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com

      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

  25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438 [slashdot.org] )

    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET [wilwheaton.net]

  26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342 [slashdot.org] )

    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:

    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(

    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.

    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)

    You finding Ling-Ling's [babysue.com] head?

  27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300 [slashdot.org] )

    I do it wrong

    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.

    Massaging my nutsack she....

    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!

    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]

    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"

    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"

    I DO IT WRONG!!!!

    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

  28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596 [slashdot.org] )

    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.

    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

  29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601 [slashdot.org] )

    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

  30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457 [slashdot.org] )

    The WIPO Troll [foundus.com]
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

  31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632 [slashdot.org] )

    Oh, man that's just sick !

  32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604 [slashdot.org] )

    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

  33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495 [slashdot.org] )

    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

  34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890 [slashdot.org] )

    Where the fuck do I sign up?!

    - I throw rocks at retarded kids

    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

  35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753 [slashdot.org] )

    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

  36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746 [slashdot.org] )

    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

  37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701 [slashdot.org] )

    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

  38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266 [slashdot.org] )

    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com

    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

  39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024 [slashdot.org] )

    +5, Arousing

    For more info check out this /. article [google.com]

  40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891 [slashdot.org] )

    WINNER>

  41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887 [slashdot.org] )

    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

  42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412 [slashdot.org] )

    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!

    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

New spam not about christmas (1)

imrdkl (302224) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681197)

It's mostly about 9/11, sadly.

Filters: Pine and elsewher (2, Interesting)

Codeala (235477) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681198)

Pine has rule-based filters to block out SPAM. However the Help page recommend you to do the filtering between SPAM arrived at your mailbox. But not everyone has that kind of control over all their mail are stored or organised. And also you need to know what kind of rules are best for blocking SPAM, eg checking the To: and Subject: fields, what regexp to use, etc.

Here is a suggestion: As a Xmas gift to your fellow /.ers, post your most successful spam filter rules here (All mail clients welcome).

Ho HO HOLD (the SPAM)!

Re:Filters: Pine and elsewher (2)

Mwongozi (176765) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681255)

I find a very effective spam filter is to simply filter out any e-mail that doesn't have your address in the TO: or CC: fields. It's very rare to see a spam that's correctly addressed in this way.

Of course, you'll have to create exception rules for any mailing lists you're on, but it works really well.

Speaking of SPAM (2, Interesting)

kawaichan (527006) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681201)

I don't get all that much Spam from my email. but I am getting tons of spam from ICQ lately.

At least there are programs to block spam from your mail box, you can't do that on ICQ. Seems like they generate a new ICQ for each messenge so you can't ban them all.

Re:Speaking of SPAM (2, Insightful)

kylegordon (159137) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681264)

Yes, but under the preferences options you can deselect the option of allowing others to see when you are online. This allows your friends to see you online, but stops your ICQ homepage from displaying a status image.

It works for me anyway.

Re:Speaking of SPAM (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681274)

[x] Do not accept messages from users not on my contact list.

Nearly all the clones support that, too.

Re:Speaking of SPAM (2, Informative)

mosschops (413617) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681281)

Fortunately you can block the ICQ spam...

Under the Security and Privacy entry on the main ICQ menu, there's an option to only accept messages from people on your contact list. To be sure, also tell it not to accept e-mail express or pager messages, as they're generally abused too.

The newer ICQ 2001b gives finer grained control over this, so you can accept regular messages but ignore URLs, etc.

With the rise in ICQIS bot usage for ICQ spam, setting these is almost a must now :-(

I have no mailbox! no SPAM! == Happy! ;) (-1, Troll)

Quazion (237706) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681214)

Quit whining about SPAM please, if you dont like it quit using the thing that creates it, there are loads of alternatives, like IRC ;) or anyother messaging service...although in the end they will be hit by SPAM also...ah i dont care you email users!

Quazion...

[OT]Stupid Topic Icon (2)

Tachys (445363) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681217)

Whenever I see that icon I always think of a piggy bank so I think the topic has something to do with money.

For a topic icon for spam, can't you have a mailbox stuffed with mail?

Re:[OT]Stupid Topic Icon (2, Informative)

dbolger (161340) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681228)

AFAIK the icon used to be a can of Hormel SPAM [slashdot.org] , but the folks at Slashdot changed it when Hormel asked them politely. A nice change from the way [slashdot.org] some other [slashdot.org] groups have treated our favourite website.

Re:[OT]Stupid Topic Icon (1)

Tachys (445363) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681242)

I am aware of this. I didn't like the Hormel SPAM icon either.

Re:[OT]Stupid Topic Icon (1)

Snard (61584) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681397)

I would actually prefer a group of vikings in a diner having breakfast, but that would obviously be a bit difficult to convey in an icon.

- Mike

Really? (4, Interesting)

Ogerman (136333) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681219)

That's funny. I receive at most one or two SPAMs per month. (The handful that slip through onto the Debian mailing lists don't really count.) Maybe people are just becoming more stupid in how they give out their addresses. Oh yeah.. and then there are HTML tags that 'phone home,' supported by many popular [microsoft.com] mail clients. Of course, we can all thank MS for Hotmail: an endless supply of throw-away mail accounts.

For those who care to reduce spam and other online (and offline) annoyances, see Junkbusters [junkbusters.com] web site, also home to the free (GPL) filtering proxy by the same name.

Re:Really? (1)

joonasl (527630) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681267)

I've the same experience also. I used to get a lot of spam few months ago, but it was sent through the SMTP server of some poor company who had not realised to protect their server. I sent an email to a manager in the company and in few days the spam stopped. Now I only get the 1 - 2 spams per week again.

Re:Really? (1)

QuickFox (311231) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681299)

Oh yeah.. and then there are HTML tags that 'phone home,'

Is that true? I always thought this was some sort of urban legend. I find it somewhat hard to believe.

Give a man a fish and he eats for one day. Teach him how to fish, and though he'll eat for a lifetime, he'll call you a miser for not giving him your fish.

Re:Really? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681358)

Definately true. I've never seen it used by a spammer, but there is at least one page out there that allows you to punch in an email address, it'll send you a message that has such a construct, and it includes a link to his (filtered) http logs which will show the email/IP addresses of the people who looked at the message in a mailreader that fetches remote images in the last eight or so hours.

Re:Really? (3, Informative)

Electrum (94638) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681382)

Oh yeah.. and then there are HTML tags that 'phone home,'

Is that true? I always thought this was some sort of urban legend. I find it somewhat hard to believe.

Sure, it's quite easy to do. Most images that load in HTML email are coming from a remote server. All you have to do is make the image come from a CGI, and tack the person's email address onto the image URL. The downside to this is that you have to send a custom email for each recipient, but half the time you do that anyway. It's a great way to see if the email is actually opened.

Re:Really? (1)

QuickFox (311231) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681417)

Oh, now I see. I was imagining something much worse. I thought you just visited some page somewhere on the Web and your browser revealed your mail address to the site's server. I sure hope that isn't possible with any browser.

Yes, what you describe is simple enough to do. It's surprising then that spammers don't do it often. Perhaps many of them don't know how. Probably many of them use ready-made programs to produce the spam, and these programs simply haven't caught up yet.

Sooner or later it'll hit us. Ugghh!

Give a man a fish and he eats for one day. Teach him how to fish, and though he'll eat for a lifetime, he'll call you a miser for not giving him your fish.

Re:Really? (2)

Ogerman (136333) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681386)

Is that true? I always thought this was some sort of urban legend. I find it somewhat hard to believe.

Nope, it's quite true and quite easy with many popular mail clients that allow loading of external references from the net. Ever get an e-mail that caused the download of anything (pictures, website, etc.) after it was viewed? If so, your mail client is suseptible. All a spammer has to do is include some sort of ID number generated at the time of sending in the external HTML reference and as soon as his server gets the request, he knows that your address is valid. Then your name gets added to the gold list of valid e-mails and sold to some other spammer. Granted, this is not done as much in practice as it could be, but the possibility definitely exists and you should check how your mail client handles external links.

Oh please (1)

olman (127310) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681430)

Not another one.

Ok, so you never shop online and you never need Flash web pages, right?

Some of us do. I have Yahoo filter everything out that's not addressed to me and there's steady trickle of 2-5 SPAM/day to the trash. God knows how much to the spamcop account I actually give out.

My yahoo address used to be fairly spam-free, but then this one PBEM ladder put my email address visible in their website among list of tournament participants .. And there's been spam ever since. Hooray for spider-bots.

Roll your own filter (3, Insightful)

WyldOne (29955) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681236)

I wrote one in TCL recently - still alpha testing it. Pre-screens e-mail in my pop3 account _before_ I d/l it with fetchmail. Mostly based on a hueristic approch. EG spam rules:
  • If more than 50% of characters in subject are upper case = shouting.
  • If the Subject has a random number or nonsense string at the end.
  • If e-mail has no 'from', 'to' or 'subject' line
  • If e-mail is not addressed to me
  • Certain percentage of spam words (make, money,loan,etc)
  • Certain spam phrases
  • luzer list


Exceptions:
list of trusted sites/people.
Things specificly sent just to me.

It was amazing just what it did filter - I went from 10 spams a day to 1 a week. (mostly due to timing issue of spam pre-filter to fetchmail d/l)
It whacked almost 300+ spams from my 'public' e-mail account in one go. I also have it log the from/Subject - just in case)

Re:Roll your own filter (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681366)

that should be:
upper case == shouting

maybe that'll bump you into beta testing

Weighted rules (1)

SgtChaireBourne (457691) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681447)

I hope naively to see less spam [wired.com] in the near future. Until then I have used rules [slashdot.org] similar to those, but weighted slightly to avoid false positives.

To get the first set of rules I saved up a few hundred spam and then found clusters with similar characteristics. Then I ran saved messages from lists and known people to tune the rules further. Some spammers now make small changes to the text so that matching based on long strings verbatim will not work. A dynamic spam filter would be a good AI / machine learning project.

Some people (Cancelmoose) on Usenet used to check cross-postings to detect spam. Perhaps a similar effect can be achieved by monitoring key routes / mail servers to detect multiple messages and label them as potential spam, maybe an RBL-style service.

Private Spam (4, Funny)

Hougaard (163563) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681240)

The only thing I hate more than the professional spam are emails from "friends" (non-geeks) that need to inform me of that latest virus, chainmail or that there is a new update that I should download. People are simply CC'ing their entire address-book whenever they receive something that looks interesting, and thereby creating spam :-(

And don't get me started on stupid christmas chain mails !!

Re:Private Spam (2, Funny)

dgb2n (85206) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681380)

But if you forward it to 30 friends, the email system will automatically forward you your $30 gift certificate.

Ugh ...

mailx / nail equivalent (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681268)

Well, actually a better replacement, as it may lead to them getting shut down, as opposed to merely filtering them out.

R
^U
abuse@
(hit enter a few times)
Spammer. Kill.
---
~m
.

Just be sure to use your head and only mail abuse at the domain that matters, rather than everything they happen to forge into the headers.

Bonus points for blocking the network(s) involved when abuse bounces because they are spam-friendly. More bonus points if your blocklist causes them to no longer reach LOTS of people, as opposed to just yourself.

Re:mailx / nail equivalent (1)

Mister Gribbley (87789) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681483)

Only (?) problem with that is that if you don't check the headers you'll probably end up complaining at the wrong address - some of the spammers have been known to use the addresses of people who've complained at them in the past as sender/reply-to on the next bucketload of spam they send out. Hopefully the admin checking the abuse address would be clueful enough to check, but it'd save their time if you look.

MandrakeSecure (3, Interesting)

Mandrias (5341) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681270)

Mandrake Linux has recently opened a new site called MandrakeSecure which is focused on securing a mandrake box.

A recent article [mandrakesecure.net] posted on MandrakeForum [mandrakeforum.com] talks about ways to handle SPAM using postfix and qmail. Maybe this can be useful to the larger slashdot crowd?

mailfilter (2, Informative)

havana9 (101033) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681272)

mailfilter [sourceforge.net] is a nice antispam tool useful for all of us who can connect only up to 31200 bps with a v.90. Before downloading mail it checks the headers against a certain number of regular expression, making a good job to find spam-like messages.
Then deletes them on the pop3 server before downloading the actual body.

Not news - an advert (or press release) (5, Informative)

ukryule (186826) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681284)

This "news" report comes straight from a press release [surfcontrol.com] .

So, a company selling email filtering software say that email filtering is ever so important? What they actually said was:
"Our database of holiday-related email messages and attachments has grown 650 percent since last Christmas,"
But their job is to build up a database of junk, so it's not really surprising - it's just saying that their database is up to date (or that their database was very out-of-date last year).

deleting mail without reading it (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681292)

Does anyone know how to delete mail in Netscape 6.2 without first opening it?

What I really hate is non-spam! (2, Interesting)

Beowulf_Boy (239340) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681317)

I get SPam, but it says something like,
"This is not Spam, I'm emailing to let you know that for only 4.99$..."

SpamAssassin works great (4, Informative)

cyrilc (126593) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681343)

I've just tried SpamAssassin [taint.org] this WE and it works great :

  • higly configurable Spam Scoring Filter according to predefined rules (each set of rules adds some pts as it matches, and it is "declared" spam when the result is highter than a specified value)
  • can rely on RBLs
  • is able to report spam to Vipul's Razor [sourceforge.net] (distributed, collaborative, spam detection and filtering network)
  • personal black and white lists
  • can be tuned for particular filtering (changing scores etc.)
  • can be used for a whole [taint.org] domain/network

...the best thing is that you don't have to perpetually update black lists of well know spammers
it is just based on content detection of spams (subject in CAPITALS; lots of exclamation marks, sp sammer X-Mailer etc.)

and it really works well

MSRFA (1)

tunah (530328) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681373)

Man, Spam's Really Fucking Annoying?

More, Seasonal Rubbish Filling Accounts?

Making, Slashdot Readers Feel Angry?

Spam will kill the internet (5, Insightful)

ab315 (443209) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681376)

I don't need statistics to tell me that the level of spam is going up, the number of messages I get from hot-n-horny teenage vixens wanting me to look at their webcam tells me that. And this is to a unique business email address which is used on my business web-page only and has never been posted to usenet.

What surprises me is how the major players who stand to benefit from universal internet use have ignored the threat of spam to the internet as a whole.

To the ordinary user receiving a daily mailbox of sexually-explicit advertising is a major turn-off. I know several ordinary people who just stopped using email because of this sort of thing, and just use their cellphones to make calls and leave voicemail instead. No telephone company would survive for a second if its voicemail customers got bombarded by the same sort of sexually-explicit advertising that internet users get by email.

Spam filtering is not a viable solution for average non-technical users. The industry needs to clean up its act or it will suffer major consequences.

If the present trends continue it would not surprise me if email actually drops out of mainstream existence and is only used by a geek subculture, being replaced by other messaging solutions that provide a safe environment.

Imminent Death of the Net predicted! (0)

Blind Demiurge Ialda (540729) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681418)

Live from /.

User ab315 predicts that UBE will destroy the net's appeal to non-technical users. News at 11.

Re:Imminent Death of the Net predicted! (1)

ab315 (443209) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681477)

What I saying is that companies have spent a lot of money to do business online but they've ended up opened their stores in the seediest part of town with hookers and con-men hanging around their front-doors and hassling their customers.

It's bad business for major e-commerce companies not to invest in an industry consortium to get legislation to make spam illegal, starting with sexually-explicit spam.

The whole industry is suffering from these spammers in my opinion, what we can see today is that the internet is not the good place to do business that it might have been -- the 'brand image' is severely tarnished and the longer it goes on the more difficult it is going to be to recover from that.

Re:Spam will kill the internet (5, Informative)

Halo1 (136547) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681457)

Yeah, just read this: http://www.clifto.com/8345.html [clifto.com] . This guy calculates, using publicly available numbers about the amount of businesses in the USA, that even if only 1% of all *US* companies sends you only 1 message a month, you end up with 8345 ads *PER DAY* in your mail box.

So even if they'd send you only one per year, you'd still get on average about 695 ads per day. So people, instead of JHD (Just Hit Delete), please try to find the time to figure out where the spam was sent from and where the spamvertized sites are hosted and report the spammers or they things may become very ugly...

Jonas

Forgot one! (1)

tunah (530328) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681379)

Make Spam Run Far Away!

I hate to say it but... (2, Funny)

smack_attack (171144) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681391)

I already found the way to remove 90% of my spam. I just send mail from the following domains to a temp folder:

aol.com
excite.com (dead now, probably a good thing)
hotmail.com
lycos.com
mail.com
safe-mail.net
yahoo.co.uk
yahoo.com

I have a special list of people that are explicitly allowed. I expect to see more filters like this in the future, especially for domains that are known offenders.

Re:Not from AOL, though... (3, Informative)

tRoll with Butter (542444) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681453)

I'd venture to say the majority of mail you get from @aol.com never really originated from there (the spammers used a fake reply-to address). How do I know this? Because AOL has installed software similar to Slashdot's lameness filter that catches spammers and QUICKLY terminates their account. (AOL members can read about this at Keyword: Rate Limiting.) AOL used to have a really bad problem with child porn and warez, a quick visit into a few empty private rooms reveals this is no longer the case. If you exceed the preset number of outgoing e-mails in a given amount of time, *poof* your AOL account does a disappearing act right before your eyes.

So WHY are you getting e-mails with a forged @aol.com reply-to? It's simple! Many spammers simply believe that AOLers are more trusting of familiar-looking e-mail addresses, so they want their spam to appear as if it came from another member of the service. Ironically, inter-service e-mail on AOL has NO @ address on it!

Next time you see spam from @aol.com, check the originating server in the headers, you might be surprised.

Re:Not from AOL, though... (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681522)


It doesn't really matter whether the mail originated from an AOL account, the simple fact is that just filtering out all email from aol.com addresses while making exceptions for those few people you know personally who have AOL accounts can reduce spam significantly without losing anything in the way of useful emails. I do it myself. I also filter msn.com, .cn, .kr, and .br for the same reason.

Help me! They are using our Email! (2, Interesting)

toolbar (125170) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681411)

No, we don't have an open relay. We have everything properly configured and don't allow relaying. But some %'&$"#!-spammer decided that using michael@ourdomain.de in the "From:" line would be a good idea when sending out spam.

I get several hundred emails per day, either automated replies that tell my, that "your message to iojrf323@yahoo.com could not be delivered" or angry users that accuse us of spamming.

I try to contact the admins of the abused systems and enter their servers into an open-relay list, but that hasn't slowed down the rate of incoming emails.

Any ideas?

Re:Help me! They are using our Email! (1)

MadMorf (118601) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681553)

Report them to their ISP or their upstream provider.

It's worked for me in the past...

bonus bologna (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681413)

Seems like the big guys send MoSt of the spam I get. the best MuSt be the ones (you/we KNOW who you are) who try to plant dozens of cookIEs on your PC.

Plus, you can get all that virotic infactdead inportaiNT bugwear (hog gonads?) m$emaul.

Makes me wonder, whois the REAL .commIEs here?

Best way to fight back. (1, Insightful)

AtomicBomb (173897) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681414)

Provide that your internet account gives unlimited download, you can "support" the spammer this way:
wget -r -l2 -i spammer.lst -O /dev/null &> /dev/null
Better still, set that up as a cron job. (Remember, you are *not* DOS the site, you just want to get a fresh copy of the "useful" info into the proxy each hour. I would imagine some guys refresh their slashdot title at a similar rate :-)

Say, you can pull 1MB from each sucker per hour. It converts to 720 MB per month. I can imagine most of them operate their dodge site with a cheap account (sth like 2GB upload per month as basic option, paid extra $$$ for extra data). The above command really packs some punch.

spam is bad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681435)

it look like your ugly grandmother nude running in a supermodel contest

The Profit in Spam (4, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2681470)

It doesn't help that companies like verio and level 3 are about to go under. There anything for a buck last grasp is making them spam friendly. I recently busted a site on verio http://128.242.238.85/ that was operating openly as a spam source. Verio didn't care.

I emailed 100 verio customers in that net block to explain to them how they would be blackholed and what that meant. They took down the site.

You can set up the very software spammers use to poach email addresses from sites in the same net block.

I fight fire with extreme fire. The only spammers I go after since you can rile people up on it, porn spammers, they don't care if they are sending to a kid or an adult, most of them even have pedophile or zoophile crap. Grab a name from the isp, any name. Contact them on the phone and tell them of the spam and give them 24 hours to have the site removed. If not, you are going to call everyone with their last name in the city the isp is located and let them know they are all for helping pedophiles etc. Does your mom know you send porn to minors?

It is very effective. Use infoseek or similar service, look for business by the ISP. Call the deli downstairs, the church in the neighborhood, then let the person at the ISP know who you talked to.

I am not posting my name since spammers have put me on their lists, they post my name as a spammer in newsgroups. They suck.

I have a job where filtering mail could mean not getting a clients mail, so it is not an option.

If everyone just took one piece of spam, traced it to the source or the host. Attacked that host, with legal threats. Do not make anything up, do not lie. When you call their biggest advertiser to explain how they support pedophiles, be clear, it is because they refuse to take action against pedophiles hosted on their site. That they allow one of their customers to send unsolicted porn to minors. Be very clear. And be very clear your group is about to announce who is helping these scums, since their company is an advertiser or client of the isp, you are going to list them. Don't like it? get another isp or get the isp to stop.

Shame is a great motivator. Use it. If we do not stand up to this crap, we are going to see legislation coming in, they are going to be heavy handed, they are going to snoop. Take back your box.

Do more than report a spammer today, those days are over. Attack,threaten and shame a host today.

Spam Study (2, Informative)

MadMorf (118601) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681568)

I worked as a Postmaster at a Federal Gov't agency a couple of years ago.

While I was there we did several things to try and determine what kinds of messages were entering our system.

One of the things we did was to queue all incoming messages for a short period so could have a chance to look at them.

What we determined was that over 95% of all the messages we received that were larger than 1 Meg were CRAP of some sort, and definitely NOT business related.

We also tracked the number of messages per day going through the system for several months and found that just before Thanksgiving our numbers would triple and stay that way until Valentines Day...

Hey! (2)

glowingspleen (180814) | more than 12 years ago | (#2681591)

Hey you, Jim Peterson!!! Do you like Christmas!!! Then check out our barely legal Ho Ho Hoes!!!!

Also play our new game: Find the bad-girl coal!!!
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