Beta
×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

Medal of Honor: Allied Assault

michael posted more than 12 years ago | from the sandbags-with-legs dept.

Games 272

Robert writes: "If you didn't like Return to Castle Wolfenstein, Electronic Arts has released the Medal of Honor: Allied Assault demo (133 megs) which is another game that uses id Software's state of the art quake 3 engine. MoH: AA is more realistic in nature than RtCW, and even has Steven Spielberg listed in the game's credits as it draws heavily from the movie "Saving Private Ryan.""

Sorry! There are no comments related to the filter you selected.

I rock at fps-ers (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2709927)

I get stuck in corners and shoot my feet off.

Re:I rock at fps-ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710037)

www.hackersforjesus.com

get your self saved sinner!

First post? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2709928)

Remember when...

WWII games (-1)

Ralph JewHater Nader (450769) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709929)

They should let you kill the jews in all those WWII games. It would be much more historically accurate and more fun as well.

Re:WWII games (-1, Offtopic)

duplo (253071) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710056)

mod parent +5 funny

Welcome Back (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710118)

I would like to welcome you back my Zionist hating friend. Of course, you, being a sand nigger, will feel the wrath of many Slashdot readers, but please continue to spread your message in spite of them.

Alan Cox

Re:Welcome Back (0, Informative)

Ralph JewHater Nader (450769) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710123)

Despite petty differences we should form a united front against the jew and the negro. We can sort things out afterwards.

FP (-1, Offtopic)

gutier (129597) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709930)

FP

Pure greatness (3, Interesting)

professortomoe (540098) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709932)

I played this demo for a few odd hours today, and thought it was freaking spectacular. Download it, and download it now. Graphics are as good, if not better than RTCW and the maps are by far, better. Go, download. You'll thank me.

Re:Pure greatness (3, Informative)

ekrout (139379) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710007)

and the maps are by far, better

From EA:
The demo will contain one of the eleven huge maps that will ship with the full retail version on January 22, 2002. You can choose the type of model that you want to be in the game, including Axis military models, and select from 14 different weapons including the Browning Automatic Riffle, Bazookas and the Colt .45.

So, you didn't play more than one map and your opinion probably can't be trusted.

Re:Pure greatness (1)

professortomoe (540098) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710034)

By maps, I include just the general texture quality, reading stuff on IGN.com (I know, not firsthand, but nonetheless) and a number of other previews.

war games (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2709938)

once you've been in the real thing, games don't do it anymore.

Please, no fileplanet links (3, Interesting)

Flarners (458839) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709941)

Fileplanet's services have gotten progressively worse, as anybody in the gaming community will be happy to tell you. Starting their "personal server" service (which still isn't very good of a connection, I can tell you, having tried it), and then purposely crippling their public servers by forcing people to wait in queue in order to "encourage" use of the Personal Servers in order to get anything downloaded at all in a reasonable amount of time. There must be another link you could provide; I would rather not support Gamespy's profiteering if I can help it.

Re:Please, no fileplanet links (-1)

Ralph JewHater Nader (450769) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709947)

Fileplanet is obviously run by a pack of greedy penny-pinching kikes.

Re:Please, no fileplanet links (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2709959)

Wow, for once I actually have to agree with you, Mr. Jewhater.

Re:Please, no fileplanet links (1)

aka-ed (459608) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710055)


You're right about that, but EA's site says Fileplanet has the "exclusive." Unless someone wants to mirror the file you're SOL.

i agree (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710070)

fileplanet sux ass

Indeed. (3, Troll)

X-Dopple (213116) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710142)

FilePlanet *used* to be good - until the dotcom crunch started and Gamespy felt they had to make a profit. So, by taking full advantage of revolutionary electronic distribution, they cut the number of servers, requires you to have a GameSpy ID (which they spam you without an opt-out link) implemented 'waiting lines, and turned the front page into a huge Java/JavaScript/Flash monstrosity. They then push their cheesy 'Personal Server' on you at every turn - they even have to back it up with Testimonials.

What's even worse is the GameSpy policy requiring *all* files on GameSpy-hosted networks to be on a FilePlanet server - this even applies to sites which are indirectly hosted by GameSpy (like skins.counter-strike.net). What's with the Penny Arcade art?

GameSpy are a bunch of money-grubbing bastards. Thanks for killing off halflife.net

jerks

^ ^ ^ MOD PARENT UP ^ ^ ^ (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710167)

I wanna kick Gamespy's fat money-grubbing ass sometimes, with all the "exclusives" they get and those annoying full-page Flash ads.

Call me squeamish, but... (4, Funny)

Tsar (536185) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709943)

MoH: AA [ea.com] is more realistic in nature than RtCW, and even has Steven Spielberg listed in the game's credits as it draws heavily from the movie "Saving Private Ryan."

I don't know how long I'd be able to keep playing a game that made me sit through five minutes of my character lying in blood and entrails yelling "MAMAAAAAAA!!!!" every time my health went to zero.

Re:Call me squeamish, but... (2, Insightful)

dimator (71399) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709963)

That was one of the most moving parts of the film, it showed that the "soldiers" of the war were often little more than kids, away from home and afraid. I hope you're not trying to get a +Funny by making light of it...

Re:Call me squeamish, but... (1, Insightful)

Iamthefallen (523816) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710107)

The first few minutes were moving yes, but by the end of the opening scene I was more bored|numbed than disgusted, I had realized their point that war is a bloody and painful mess 5 minutes ago. If they'd made the scene a few minutes shorter perhaps they'd been able to keep me disgusted and moved as they continued on. But boring or making the audience numb is a bad start to a movie...

Re:Call me squeamish, but... (1)

schroet (244506) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710004)

I thought it was pretty +funny, if EA makes me cry like the movie then it'll be money well spent!

Re:Call me squeamish, but... (1, Informative)

Sk3lt (464645) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710176)

actually the game doesn't include much blood (if at all) because the Nazis used to wear lots of clothes when they were out in the war and too much blood gushing out of them would be unrealistic as the cloth would stop most of it coming out.

This game is ultra realistic (up to a point and not in the style of one hit one kill factor like Flashpoint) so all of these factors have come into play

Re:Call me squeamish, but... (1)

MisterBlister (539957) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710210)

Don't forget the 10 minute cut-scene monologues of a soldier that looks suspiciously like Forrest Gump going on and on about getting back to his wife.

Who cares? No Linux version. (-1, Flamebait)

Mordant (138460) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709945)

Why do we need an announcement for a game which is Windows-only? There are plenty of gaming sites for that sort of thing.

Re:Who cares? No Linux version. (1)

professortomoe (540098) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709967)

Ya see, not all nerds use Linux. I know tons of people who come to /. and use linux. Jeeze, these comments are so funny...

Re:Who cares? No Linux version. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2709969)

Why do we need an announcement for a game which is Windows-only?

Cuz' nobody runs Linux?

Re:Who cares? No Linux version. (0)

Anthet (462436) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709974)

News for nerds you know. There prolly are a couple of geeks dualbooting and a couple of windows users aswell reading this site.

oh take your snobbish attitude and stuff it (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2709975)


Extremism must be snuffed at all cost.

Re:Who cares? No Linux version. (1)

xanadu-xtroot.com (450073) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710005)

Get a grip. That doesn't mean there won't be a Linux version. By FAR, most gamers use Windows. Guess who they are going to try to entice to buy this first? It's not rocket science. (Don't get me wrong, I'm a Linux user, but common sense has to take over sometime for somethings..)

Re:Who cares? No Linux version. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710010)

since this isnt the News for Linux People, Stuff that matters. I dont see why this site has to cater to your every linux need when alot of the readers are windows users just like me. I also use IRIX but you dont see me picketing infront of slashdot headquarters ONLY IRIX, ONLY IRIX!. MORON!

Re:Who cares? No Linux version. (1)

professortomoe (540098) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710029)

Oh, and just a question, who the hell in their right mind would mod that up?! I must have forgotten the /.'ers code... Pro Linux = More Points, Pro Windows != More Points

Re:Who cares? No Linux version. (4, Insightful)

sheldon (2322) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710064)

News for Nerds. Stuff that matters.

It's not "Stuff that matters, but only about Linux."

Re:Who cares? No Linux version. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710117)

Slashshit - News for Taco and his idiot friends. Stuff that only matters to Taco and his idiot friends.

Re:Who cares? No Linux version. (1)

swv3752 (187722) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710161)

It's not news for nerds if it's not about linux. :P

It's the Q3a engine... (1)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710073)

The Q3a engine, if im not mistaken, is cross platform. It is reasonable to assume they will make a Linux version.

Don't get all high and mighty about Linux, not everybody uses it. I *can't* use Linux because I'm an artist and I use Lightwave and After Effects. Niether are available on Linux right now, so I'm a Windows guy. Do I want to be? Not really. I'm not ashamed of it either. Windows 2000 is surprisingly good.

I think it's pretty clear that Slashdot is a news site. It may be polarized towards Linux, but that doesn't mean every news story has to be about it. It would have been pretty silly for Slashdot to post the WTC attack and have to find a reason why it's Linux related.

Slashdot Hypocracy! (-1)

egg troll (515396) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710156)

Why do we need an announcement for a game which is Windows-only? There are plenty of gaming sites for that sort of thing.


Because only about one in twenty Slashdot readers regularly use Linux. The rest just talk about it to look cool to the geek community (although being the coolest geek is like being the rap king of Wyoming.) I think the question that should be asked is how much is VA Linux (errr, VA Systems or VA Gina, whatever its called) being paid to put such a shitty story up on its front page?

WELL TACO HOW MUCH?!?

Re:Who cares? No Linux version. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710157)

yea, EA release a linux version ... in your dreams

How could you not like RtCW? (1)

krs-one (470715) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709946)

How could one not like RtCW? I think its the best shoot-em up game on the market today. Before RtCW was out, UT was clearly the best game out there, even better than Quake III that came out almost a year later than it. The Unreal engine was incredible. Then id makes the QuakeIII engine which uses OpenGL as the main rendering API and its really nice and all, but UT was just a better game than QuakeIII.

Finally, RtCW comes out and its a lot better than UT. It's a shame really that it took almost 2 years for a game to be UT, but RtCW finally did.

However, I will continue to play UT (as I am in a clan) but I think in the coming months, many UT clans will migrate to RtCW and then finally back to UT when UT2 comes out.

-Vic

Re:How could you not like RtCW? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710025)

Because the Urban Terror mod for Quake3 rocks it.

http://www.urbanterror.net/

Re:How could you not like RtCW? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710096)

UT was released on 23rd November, 1999. Q3A was released on 3rd December, 1999. Yep, the difference is about a year, give or take 12 months.

Time to change crack suppliers. You're being dealt some bad stuff.

Re:How could you not like RtCW? (1)

Phantasiere (209248) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710100)

UT was clearly the best game out there, even better than Quake III that came out almost a year later than it.
Quake3 and UT were released within a month of each other. Quake3 definately did not came out 'a year later'.

Re:How could you not like RtCW? (1)

MisterBlister (539957) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710222)

Its not so much a matter of not liking RTCW..Its a matter of wanting a more realistic game. RTCW is a good shooter, but its a cartoon. You can take 50 bullets and live and you fight undead zombies and such.

Medal of Honor is for people who want a more realistic FPS experience that is more about stealth & tactics than running around with a Really Big Gun. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I love to run around at 60 MPH with a Really Big Gun, but sometimes I like to play games that are a bit closer to real-life simulation.

ScreenShots (1)

xanadu-xtroot.com (450073) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709951)

I wish there was more SS's available. Yea, there's the movie, but I'm only on a modem. The Demo's right out until Monday at work with my T-1...

Re:ScreenShots (1)

xanadu-xtroot.com (450073) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709965)

Sorry about that. Konqueror wasn't playing nice (at first) with their navigation stuff. There's plenty of shots available [ea.com]

Re:ScreenShots (2)

dimator (71399) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709987)

and some more, [gamespot.com] including a review.

Re:ScreenShots (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710147)

Oh screenshots... I thought you were saying you wished there were more Schutzstaffel... sheesh

Facinating (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2709952)

That's facinating. Do I sense an obsession with World War II? If not, then where's all those Civil War or WWI FPSs? What about getting headshots on those Redcoats?

Re:Facinating (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2709961)

That'd be really fun. Shoot, reload for 40 seconds, shoot. Oh yeah, those ball-and-rod smoothbore rifles were really accurate.

Re:Facinating (1)

zachoen (536676) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710015)

the weaponry wasn't advanced enough yet for realistic games in that era to be fun. The reload time on those muskets would be a BITCH...

Re:Facinating (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710191)

Hurray for redundancy!

Internet multiplayer demo.. (2)

killthiskid (197397) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709955)

EA Games to release a one level internet multiplayer demo this Friday!

The demo will contain one of the eleven huge maps that will ship with the full retail version on January 22, 2002. You can choose the type of model that you want to be in the game, including Axis military models, and select from 14 different weapons including the Browning Automatic Riffle, Bazookas and the Colt .45.

Woah, settle down, this is test to see who actaully read the links and who didn't... what date was this written on their site? Does it work? Is it fun?

For screenshots and more information on multiplayer modes for the retail version, please click here.

Quake 3 is hardly state of the art anymore... (0)

Pr0n K1ng (160688) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709968)

Day of Defeat is (technically) the best World War II based fps available right now.

Amen! (-1)

egg troll (515396) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710163)

Day of Defeat is (technically) the best World War II based fps available right now.


Testify, brother, testify! Can I get a Hallelujah in the house?

Been playing the game. (1)

kawaichan (527006) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709973)

It's not a flamebit, but the game is not that great looking (especially with the models, they look like garbage).

And speaking of gameplay, the netcode is terribly, the game is laggy as hell even at ~90ms

It is possibly the worst QIII based game yet. IMO, RTCW is not all that great (especially with the single player levels), but the mutliplayer is way better than this.

Re:Been playing the game. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710006)

I gotta agree on all counts. I downloaded the demo thinking that it would totally blow away Wolf, but I came away disappointed. I just couldn't get into it. It took me three hours to download, and I deleted it after about half an hour of playing without a second thought. To its credit, I like the shotgun (although I don't recall too many WW2 era soldiers using shotguns) and the different weapons depending on which side you take. Still, I give it a thumbs down. =P

I gave Wolfen thumbs down the 1st time I tried it (1, Insightful)

Win-Developer (316016) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710054)

Dude It's a demo. The game still has another 3 weeks before it goes gold.

Remeber the first Demo for RtCW? It sucked big time. Even with my miniscule ping everything was lagged and frankly I just didn't see it being any good.

As of now, I've yet to play the multiplayer component of the full game, but the Single Player mode sucks big time(I still want to finish it before I play any multiplayer).

I'm downloading this Medal of Honor demo because I loved the game on the PS, and I think it will be pretty good. Hopefully the Single Player mode will rock...

Most importantly...I want CO-OP play!!!! If this game doesn't include it, I probably won't buy it.

There Is A Preview Of The Demo... (2)

citizenc (60589) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709976)

There is a full preview of the demo available at http://www.3dactionplanet.com/features/firstlooks/ mohmpdemo/ [3dactionplanet.com] . (It IS a huge demo; take a look there to see if you want to take the time to download it.)

For those who hate fileplanet (2, Informative)

metalgeek (92636) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709977)

Fore those who hate Fileplanet can grab it here [spinningvortex.net] Please don't kill my server:)

Re:For those who hate fileplanet (1)

mstyne (133363) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710098)

Alternatively, Tiscali [tiscali.cz] has a pretty fast mirror; I've been getting 90KB/Sec from them from the U.S. East Coast...

Have fun!!

Didn't like RtCW? (2)

Chester K (145560) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709979)

If you didn't like Return to Castle Wolfenstein

pshhh... like that could happen... ;)

Re:Didn't like RtCW? (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710032)

Because the Urban Terror mod for Quake3 rocks it.

http://www.urbanterror.net/

Re:Didn't like RtCW? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710074)

plz stop spamming tks

Re:Didn't like RtCW? (2)

majcher (26219) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710033)

Um...I didn't like Return to Castle Wolfenstein. At least, I didn't like the mutli-player demos that were out there. Sorry, but I've played that game already. Counter-strike, TFC, and so on have already done a much better job of that sort of thing - wrapping up the same gameplay in an old skin just doesn't do it for me.

The single-player aspect of the game still interests me (after I work through the rest of the stack...*sigh* no job, and still not enough time to finish all the games I've got...) but I'm not seeing anything to get super psyched about.

two words (1)

schroet (244506) | more than 12 years ago | (#2709996)

MIRRORS PLEASE

I Had high hopes for Return to Castle Wolfenstein (4, Funny)

Rosco P. Coltrane (209368) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710000)

but unlike the original, it doesn't run on my 386 :-(

Re:I Had high hopes for Return to Castle Wolfenste (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710168)

A 386? Screw that. I want to see it running on my Commodore PET.

yes, fileplanet sucks (1)

ayeco (301053) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710001)

this is the first time that i couldnt find a download somewhere else and had to resort to signing up at fileplanet. I had no idea that there was a WAIT for downloads! ..and whats this personal server crap? geeze. more mirrors for the download would have been nice.

The multiplayer demo only has deathmatch, but... (2)

antdude (79039) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710009)

it does have a hidden team deathmatch feature. You can read the details on Blue's News [bluesnews.com] . :)

I wished the company released a team play option because Return to Castle Wolfenstein (RTCW) looked like a winner with its team based option. I wasn't expecting it to be that good. I couldn't conclude if RTCW is a winner since I haven't tried MoH:AA's single player and teamplay multiplayer yet.

"state of the art quake 3 engine"? (2, Insightful)

Wakko Warner (324) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710028)

This is still the case? The Quake 3 engine is almost 2 years old now, isn't it? Surely something better has supplanted it?

- A.P.

Re:"state of the art quake 3 engine"? (1)

professortomoe (540098) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710046)

Well, I must admit, I like the new Serious Engine, from CroTeam. I'm surprised it hasn't been licenced as much, because it's pretty great.

Re:"state of the art quake 3 engine"? (1)

kawaichan (527006) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710052)

Until Unreal2 and Doom3 comes out, QIII and Unreal engines will still be the best engines for game developers. But Croteams' Serious Sams looks pretty good too, I like those bright textures.

Re:"state of the art quake 3 engine"? (1)

Breakfast Pants (323698) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710179)

And what does an engine have to do with bright textures? I think you are confusing engine with artist.

Trying to download the game, but it is fun! (5, Informative)

BrookHarty (9119) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710057)

I tried to download the game, but of course Fileplanet is full, but they would nicely let me download it, if I signed up for thier service. Not today... Ok, lucky BluesNews had a link that worked. 3 hours later I was good to go.

Launched the server, didnt know how to tell it private, so I reduced it to 4 guys. Within 1 minute the server was full. Everyone also just downloaded and I was the only server that had a good ping in Seattle. lol Played for 2 hours, learning, then found a 12 person server, much better.

Likes.. :)
Well, its not quake3 with powerups, you get killed quick. You have to watch yourself, its like more like CounterStrike in that respect. Good GFX, fast game play, the level was just made for deathmatch.
Respawn points are rooms in back, so you dont get spawn killed. That was a MAJOR change to most multiplayer games.

Dislikes:
The only level was kinda small, After getting killed by a damn sniper in a good spot, I switched to rockets, (only get 6 shots) and spamed hit window. Dead. :) Started to play it like quake3a and that was fun for awhile. I finally switched to the machine gun, started to do head shots, and stayed in the hallways. Thats when my points went up, and stopped getting killed. I think the shot gun should be tweaked, up closed dead, farther away, usless. Also taunting the enemy in german was a neat idea.

But all the new games, Serrious Sam [croteam.com] 2 beta engine ROCKS. It actually lets you pick the refresh rate, and turn on all the options to make it look freaking awesome. Even plays OGG music files too.

Also, New York Racing [ferrago.co.uk] came out, its about the movie the 5th element, but a race game with floating cars. Gotta pick that up, the demo was really good. Not alot of news about it, but read one on ISO News [isonews.com]

Where's the CO-OP modes?!?!?! (0)

Win-Developer (316016) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710068)

I for one am quite upset that the CO-OP play mode has been pretty much dumped in all games since Doom/Quake, in favor of mindless deathmatch and its variants.

While I do enjoy some team deathmatch(Day of Defeat), I really don't see how the word "multiplayer" became synonymous with "Deathmatch".

I really hope they choose to include CO-OP with this game, Return to Castle Wolfenstein dropped the ball big time by not including some sort of CO-OP mode.

Medal of Honor rocked on the Playstation, so I figured CO-OP would be a given, especially for this type of FPS. Oh well, here's to hoping...

Re:Where's the CO-OP modes?!?!?! (1)

MaxQuordlepleen (236397) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710188)

for fairly up-to-date co-op gaming, try the Delta Force series. DF:Land Warrior, the last one came out around Christmas 2000. Give it a try, should be in the cheepo bins by now...

Must Buy! (1)

Warin (200873) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710069)

I've played the demo for a couple of hours. The Stalingrad map is a little too closed in for my liking, and I just cant WAIT to try out the Omaha Beach map.

My biggest beef with the RtCW MP test was that the 'storm the beach' was just so..narrow. From the screenshots of MOH's Omaha map, this wont be an issue, and hooboy am I looking forward to that. Hopefully the single player game is engaging as well.

And a seriously positive thumbs up for the player models. I love that they arent just going to be generic GI's and Nazis.

Good (ping) or Bad (ping)? (1)

James Foster (226728) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710072)

Whether or not the game is good or bad wholly depends on the connection speed. When there is no lag this game is pure brilliance! Incredibly fun! When the ping drops, however, it's not really worth bothering with. With a bad ping, it's hard to hit people and the movement is jerky and kindof replays over and over (from your viewpoint) until the server has acknowledged any movement.

Hopefully they can straighten out the lag issues before the game's release, but for now to lessen lag, I recommend that any cable servers have a maximum of 6 players. I was hosting a game and when the players jumped from 6 to 7, everyone's ping doubled instantly. When there were only 6 player's again, things returned to normal.

Snot of Honor: Allied Snot (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710076)

By The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org] , $Revision: 1.13 $

Why have I been receiving emails from some guy called "CmdrTaco," in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

You have been receiving email from a certain
Robert "CmdrTaco" Malda [cmdrtaco.net] , owner of the popular technology website Slashdot [slashdot.org] . Actually, it's not a very "popular" site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, dirty GNU hippies [yahoo.com] and communists, and other societal rejects. It's also home to the world's most infamous pædophile ring, the "Slashdot crew."
Whenever CmdrTaco gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like
Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P or E in it, you're in trouble.
And this time, he found
you. Lucky you.
CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation,
VA Software [yahoo.com] . CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own lubed-up right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."
Lastly, there is the practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more revolting "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to an act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTaco's face [yahoo.com] , dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."
A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel [aol.com] , and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with their own and each other's man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention [yahoo.com] . He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass [yahoo.com] with his "monolithic kernel [yahoo.com] ," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called "
Katz juicy-douching [aol.com] " with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass [yahoo.com] onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus [yahoo.com] . He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
RECENT READER COMMENTS

Once comments have been archived by Slashdot, they're removed from the Official Taco-Snotting FAQ. However much I would like to paste 200k crapfloods into Slashdot, my browser is a piece of shit and won't let me!

  1. Re:Taco-Powered Christmas Snot (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.15 7:05 (#2707493 [slashdot.org] )

    Has this been submitted to linuxdoc.org yet?

  2. Re:Bye bye Windows! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.15 5:12 (#2707245 [slashdot.org] )

    That may be true, but have you made love to a wombat today?

  3. Re:That's my department, boy! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward (actually afree87 [slashdot.org] ) on 2001.12.15 2:51 (#2706921 [slashdot.org] )

    Wow, WipoTroll, you really know how to snot! And you can scramble Slashdot's HTML, too! I love boys who do that! Come over to my place sometime!

  4. Re:CmdrTaco BANNED FOR LIFE from Taco Bell!!!!!! (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.15 2:48 (#2706907 [slashdot.org] )

    CmdrTaco only goes to Taco Bell to get their hot sauce, and to solicit hot sauce enemas from underage male employees. He makes his own tacos.

  5. Re:Snottle OSnotX, BSnotD, and Snottan Snottard (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward (actually afree87 [slashdot.org] ) on 2001.12.15 2:47 (#2706900 [slashdot.org] )

    We love you, WipoTroll! We want you to snot us, WipoTroll!

  6. Re:Bye bye Windows! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.15 1:35 (#2706675 [slashdot.org] )

    I want some Taco-snot! Where can I get some?

  7. Re:Bye bye Windows! (Score:-1)
    by JonKatz on [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.15 0:29 (#2706495 [slashdot.org] )

    Please, please, please Taco-snot me. I know I would love it almost as much as fucking young boys. Pleadingly, JonKatz

  8. Important Information For Slashdot Users (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.14 3:09 (#2702660 [slashdot.org] )

    It has recently come to my attention that the entire Slashdot crew engage in homosexual activities. CmdrTaco [cmdrtaco.net] is one such person, and has dedicated his life to spreading the ideals of Taco-Snotting while enjoying the benefits of it. For further information on Taco-Snotting please refer to George WIPO Bush's Taco-Snotting FAQ which can be easily found by searching for the Slashdot journal of George WIPO Bush or by looking in the comments of Slashdot articles (Usually modded -1).

    It has also come to my attention that CmdrTaco [cmdrtaco.net] has other interests besides homosexuality (Believe it or not). One such interest includes a budding music career with a song titled "Gaping Anus". The details are sketchy on this topic but I [geocities.com] do know that besides the lead vocals of CmdrTaco [cmdrtaco.net] , it includes Timothy and CowboyNeal (Also members of the Slashdot crew). There has been no release date set for this album or which record label it will be produced under. I [geocities.com] believe CmdrTaco [cmdrtaco.net] is planning to set up his own label, Taco-Snotting Records [riaa.com] , with the intention of releasing [amazon.com] the song on a cd-single with various remixes as soon as possible (To catch the current popularity of the Taco-Snotting fad). On a side note, I [geocities.com] would not believe this fad will ever wear out (like a Snotted-out-geek); I [geocities.com] am sorry to say Taco-Snotting is here to stay :-(. Various remixes of Gaping Anus will include: "Extra Jizz", "Snot Me Baby One More Time", "www.Goatse.cx" [goatse.cx] , and "Once You Taco-Snot, You Can't Stop". I [geocities.com] am sure many, many, more are sure to come. I [geocities.com] predict this album will be a very hot seller this holiday season, especially with in or out of closet homosexuals, and with those who have no self-respect (Readers of Slashdot).

    Through a good, non-homosexual friend of mine, I [geocities.com] have recieved a copy of the lyrics to the Gaping Anus musical composition. Included after the lyrics is a very speical tribute written by yours truely. Perhaps CmdrTaco [cmdrtaco.net] will ask me to provide the vocals. Please feel free to read the lyrics and post your comments and disgust. E-mail CmdrTaco with this disgust also.

    BTW, please do not reply with the intention of flaming me because the lyrics are a rip-off of Insane Clown Posse's [insaneclownposse.com] "Slim Anus" [realjuggalos.com] . For more information on ICP and Slim Anus refer here [planet-eminem.com] and here [mp3mtv.com] . CmdrTaco [cmdrtaco.net] is the author of this fine musical work and not me [geocities.com] . So, it is obviously he who has ripped off ICP and not me [geocities.com] . Thank you.

    Read the rest of this shit... [slashdot.org]

  9. Re:Snotback: Snotto, Snotz, Snottion (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.14 2:44 (#2702581 [slashdot.org] )

    you know, every time i read this i want to punch you more and more. the taco snotting thing is old, lame, boring, and over done. it never was remotely funny or good though. it sounds like a 10th grader wrote it too. so please, go play in traffic or shut the fuck up so real trolls can post.

  10. Re:Italics are yummy! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Super Mario Troll [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.14 2:33 (#2702535 [slashdot.org] )

    Keep up the good work! Educate the masses to the dangers of Taco-Snotting!

    It's a me, the Super Mario Troll!
    Would you like to see my gaping troll anus [goatse.cx]
  11. Re:Italics are yummy! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.14 1:41 (#2702370 [slashdot.org] )

    WIPO - Man you trolls are shit compared to Egg Trolls troll's. Egg Man is just so much more original.

  12. Re:The WIPO Troll Announces Portable Snotbox (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.07 7:58 (#2669658 [slashdot.org] )

    That leaky sound you hear is CmdrTaco pissing himself after seeing this.

    Slashdot trolling just got a whole lot easier...

    http://www.geocities.com/frostpist/

    Spread the word!

  13. Re:The WIPO Troll Announces Portable Snotbox (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.07 5:48 (#2669422 [slashdot.org] )

    Q: Is CmdrTaco gay?

    A: He Mos' certainly is!

  14. Re:The WIPO Troll Announces Portable Snotbox (Score:-1)
    by GaylordFucker [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.07 5:39 (#2669394 [slashdot.org] )

    not to mention... The WIPO Troll used himself as a test subject to try out the portable snotbox... i await your results and hope your product gets approved...

    Regards,
    Gay

    Get that rats nest off your head, you numbskull -- Wesley Willis

  15. Re:Portable Snotcube! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.07 3:58 (#2669117 [slashdot.org] )

    stfu. no one really cares about your lame little "troll". make some new material (not that anything you've ever said is worth a damn..)

  16. Re:Yum yum taco-snotting! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 22:15 (#2644499 [slashdot.org] )

    Dear SLASH crew - this post makes it clear why you need to add a new category - "tell it like it is (+1)"

  17. This is getting old (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 20:14 (#2644227 [slashdot.org] )

    Hey dicksuck, why don't you come up with new troll material? Everyone has seen the tacosnotting 100 times already. Fuckwit. Assholage. Gay. Lick my anal nectar.

  18. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105 [slashdot.org] )

    this is good shit man

  19. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Dark_Cobra87 [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180 [slashdot.org] )

    Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

  20. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
    by Fecal Troll Matter [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791 [slashdot.org] )

    Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce... [galeon.com]

    Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

  21. Look (Score:-1)
    by ArchieBunker [slashdot.org] on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679 [slashdot.org] )

    I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?

    http://www.naawp.org/

  22. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602 [slashdot.org] )

    Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.

    I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

________________________________________
$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.13 2001/12/15 23:00:00 wipo Exp $
Copyright © 2001
The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org] . Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all he's done to make Slashdot a better place.

If you don't like any of these, get Halo (2)

cybrthng (22291) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710086)

Simple as that, why just give on choice? Halo doesn't use the quake 3 engine, is fully anti aliased and plays great..

oh wait, are we supposed to only play games based on old engines and previous games??

Re:If you don't like any of these, get Halo (2)

The Cat (19816) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710110)

oh wait, are we supposed to only play games based on old engines

clones

and previous games??

sequels.

That is correct. This is what the "game industry" prefers, since it involves near zero risk and comes with a built-in excuse (in the form of a great "yeah, but" remark) for instantly rejecting anything "new" WITHOUT having to think about it.

Game Industry unwilling to take risks... (1)

NanoGator (522640) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710131)

Sadly, most companies greenlight games described as 'this will be the next Quake...' instead of games described as "the world has never seen anything like it..."

Fortunately, the GameCube seems to be cracking this stigma a little. Too bad I can't get it on the net yet.

I miss the days of 'Garage Developers' creating shareware games on BBS's.

Re:If you don't like any of these, get Halo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710182)

Halo isn't anti-aliased...

Further Proof (2)

The Cat (19816) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710089)

...that graphics don't matter. Two articles back, there were comments about the "Uplink" game, which probably didn't use a state of the art game engine.

The positive-negative ratio of comments here looks about the same. People complain anyway.

All companies have to do is look to the Final Fantasy movie for further proof. Best graphics possible with modern technology (and budgets). Didn't translate into hyper-success though, despite "critical acclaim."

FPS Games all the same? (2, Insightful)

hackersforjesus (544155) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710097)

Seems to me that every FPS game that comes out is touted at the greatest thing since sliced bread. At the end of the day though they never live up to the hype. Recent examples include Max Payne, RTCW and I'm sure many, many more... Is it just me, or is every new FPS supposed to be "revolutionary" yet ends up being tired old dross...?

68th post!!!!!! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710120)

Man I'm on a roll tonight!!!!! Thanks everyone, it'a been great working with you :)
Zepplin Rules!!!!!!!

Mirrors here (3, Informative)

Utopia (149375) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710121)

Apparently some people are having problems downloading the demo.
Goto Demo News [demonews.com] and download from the mirrors

Re:Mirrors here (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710125)

Are people having trouble? or are you just Karma whoring??

Re:Mirrors here (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710133)

hmmm intresting......... I'd have to say Karma whoring but maybe thats just me?

Dont waste your time (0, Flamebait)

nervlord1 (529523) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710155)

Me and my brother both downloasded and played this game, its the SHITS, its got NOTHING on wolfenstien, the models are shit, the textures suck, the interface is STUPID (mystery meat interface), the guns are stupidly unbalanced, the level(s) are boring, theres no classes which equals no proper teamplay, and you walk stupidly slow, you shoot at people but for some strange reason you miss anyway, evne if u hit them dead on, the controls feel sooo crap, you get stuck on door frames, and the voice acting sounds like its come from Goku now watch as im moderated as a troll even though i brang up these points, PLEASE prove me wrong and tell me why

About Your Sig (-1)

egg troll (515396) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710170)

Nerv- From neon genesis evangelion Lord- The master of a house, you do the math


Okay. I broke out the slide rule and did the math. Apparently you are the Lord of Cartoons. Thanks for letting us know, asshobbit!

Pigse.cx!! (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710162)

Pigse.cx!! [iamleet.com]

Re:Pigse.cx!! (-1)

egg troll (515396) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710180)

"I've got a big fucking boner right now!" AHAHAHA!!

Actually some clarification (2, Informative)

Sk3lt (464645) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710166)

"and even has Steven Spielberg listed in the game's credits as it draws heavily from the movie "Saving Private Ryan""

Stephen Spielberg's company DreamWorks helped work on the game which is why he is credited.

Clarifying the Clarification (-1)

egg troll (515396) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710216)

Stephen Spielberg's company DreamWorks helped work on the game which is why he is credited.


Umm...excuse me, but as you might know that would require the Slashdot editors to actually research a fucking story. Typically they just pull shit out of their ass and slap it on the front page.

! KARMA WHORE ! but we do need this! (1, Informative)

loconet (415875) | more than 12 years ago | (#2710169)

Ok, for those of you who don't want to go through the hasle of singing up ....here is a direct link [4gameplayers.com] to the download lineup .. yes a line up to download the demo!

Fast Mirror (4, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710175)

For those who don't want to bother with Fileplanet, I've got good download speed from here [gnutelliums.com] .

(now watch it get slashdotted...)

Re:Fast Mirror (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2710219)

Now watch karma whore karma whore.
Load More Comments
Slashdot Login

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?