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IBM Builds A Limited Quantum Computer

chrisd posted more than 12 years ago | from the soon-your-pgp-key-will-be-useless dept.

News 317

phr1 writes "IBM has announced and Yahoo has noted that the first working implementation of Shor's factoring algorithm. Using NMR techniques they built a seven-qubit quantum computer and factored the number 15 into the factors 3 and 5. This is by far the most complicated quantum computation ever done. It's quite an amazing feat--many people thought quantum computing was just a theoretical curiosity and Shor's algorithm could never be implemented in practice."

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if a quantum computer takes the same time (2, Interesting)

xercist (161422) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729707)

to factor 15 as it does the product of two 128 bit primes, what's stopping this computer from breaking current asymmetric crypto right now?

Re:if a quantum computer takes the same time (1, Insightful)

tomstdenis (446163) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729721)

Well for starters the time will not be the same. Also the complexity of factoring a 256 bit number is amazingly higher than factoring a 4-bit number.

Tom

Re:if a quantum computer takes the same time (-1)

VALinux (449801) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729791)

the upshot of all this is that NP-complete problems will no longer be impossible, but the design of the quantum computer to solve a given NP-complete problem will be itself an NP-complete problem. (So just design a quantum computer to solve that problem, right?)

Re:if a quantum computer takes the same time (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729727)

The NSA probably already has a tie with quantum computer developers. Maybe our use of crypto algorithms have already been broken...

Re:if a quantum computer takes the same time (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729806)

If not broken already, they probably know you typed this message.

Re:if a quantum computer takes the same time (5, Interesting)

Anml4ixoye (264762) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729737)

Mainly because of the number of molecules it takes to perform that feat. "IBM chemists designed and made a new molecule that has seven nuclear spins" - exactly enough to solve the simple factor. You need many more spins than that to perform complex calculations.

But once the molecules are put together and they can control them properly, then nothing really stops it. That is why they say that a fundamental change in cryptography is on the horizon.

Re:if a quantum computer takes the same time (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729915)

what's stopping this computer from breaking current asymmetric crypto right now?

The DMCA. Just ask that Norwegian kid who broke the encryption on DVDs (DeCSS).

fist prost (-1)

VALinux (449801) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729708)

fist up malda's ass

Small question (0, Offtopic)

SonicRED (15265) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729713)

Does this mean that I can view the women of Maxim Magazine On-Line on the moleculer level?

LOTR (-1, Offtopic)

Roto-Rooter Man (520267) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729716)

I saw it, didn't particularly like it. That might have something to do with the fact that I'm a grown man and not a child.

Re:LOTR (-1)

Fecal Troll Matter (445929) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729866)

Behind Enemy Lines fucking sucked. A bunch of ragtag soldiers can't kill one shitfaced American soldier? Stupid shit.

PS- Helicopters don't beat tanks.

Frightening implications (3, Insightful)

krackbebe (545104) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729718)

If a private sector company has been able to climb the steep hill that is quantum computing, how far has the US govt been able to get with their nearly unlimited budget?

It has been widely acknowledged that such agencies as the NSA have been at least a decade or more ahead of the private sector. The first govt to get a working quantum computer not only has unbreakable encryption, they are able to read any code of foreign nations. The stakes are incredible!

Soon, they will be watching all of us. Better read 1984 quickly my fellow citizens!

Re:Frightening implications (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729728)

haha, governement and unlimited budget... ahahaha, yeah sure. Good sci projects get the shaft all the time.

Re:Frightening implications (3, Interesting)

actappan (144541) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729764)

Good science projects only get the shaft if they have nothing to do with:

  • Killing the other guy in new and interesting ways.
  • Reading the other guy's mail.
  • Stealing from the other guy.
  • Reading your own guys' mail.
  • Stealing from your own guys.
  • Killing your own guys in new and interesting ways.

Re:Frightening implications (3, Interesting)

El_Nofx (514455) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729787)

1. The us government does not have an unlimited budget.

2. Most meaningful research comes from the private sector (bell labs and the like) with a few exceptions (Darpa)

3. Even if the government had quantum computer level encription it couldn't get it's self organized enough to use it for more then maybe presidential level communication.

Re:Frightening implications (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729841)

Yeah and you probably still think they can't crack DES, either...

The NSA's budget is classified. They recruit top people in research fields (and not only U.S. citizens). The estimate I've heard is that they are more like TWENTY years ahead of civilian cryptographers. Don't be fooled by the government's outward appearance of being inept. They do get things done in certain areas where it counts.

Nonsense! (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729795)

Just send in Robert Redford and his team of lovable misfits to get the black box out of the answering machine!

Re:Nonsense! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729824)

"Misfits of Science"..back when Courteney Cox was really hot.

Re:Frightening implications (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729808)

The government gets computers from companies like ibm and cray !.

Re:Frightening implications (1)

jamesmartinluther (267743) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729820)

Who would you rather have the cutting edge technology - a republic with the US constitution as its kernel and thousands of checks and balances, or a corporation who's primary interest (for good reason) is profit for its shareholders?

It is not as if we cannot possibly keep an eye on our own government. Information communities such as this one are a powerful counterbalance to government power, not to mention a multitude of technologies and legal remedies which are available to all US citizens.

Powerlessness and paranoia are a state of mind.

Re:Frightening implications (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729935)

It is not as if we cannot possibly keep an eye on our own government. Information communities such as this one are a powerful counterbalance to government power, not to mention a multitude of technologies and legal remedies which are available to all US citizens.

Oh please. Despite the protesting against the DMCA and other proposed laws here on /., do you think the government really cares? Do you honestly believe we will keep our eyes on our own government when so many people are willing to say the government shouldn't reveal all their activities, for the sake of defending America? The only real counterbalance is when the ruled is willing to challenge the rulers.

Re:Frightening implications (1)

Ybrog (443335) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729850)

My guess is not very far. The Govt has been shelling out grants to some independent researchers for a few years now. I've gone to a few of these researchers' lectures where they practice begging for money and all of them keep saying they expect ~50-100 years before they'll have something useful.

Re:Frightening implications (5, Informative)

internic (453511) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730053)

While I have also often heard stories of the NSA having much more advanced equipment and techniques than the private sector, or at least than the non-classified private sector, in the case of quantum computing this is unlikely. First, it's a relatively new subject. Shore's algorithm, for example, was only discovered in the 80's. There really hasn't been enough time for them to get so far ahead. Second, the NSA is full mostly of mathematicians and computer scientsts, not physicists, so they really don't have the right staff for that. Third, most of the academic research is funded by the NSA.

Finally, though it's hard to say exactly how far this technology is from being useful (or alternately the probability that it will EVER be useful), it is probably safe to say it will be quite a while from now. Moreover, it is probably also safe to say that it only gets harder from here. Larger computations will involve the same problems as these only on larger scales plus a whole new, tougher, slew of problems that these avoid. These are chiefly quantum decoherence and entangling large numbers of quantum states.

Quantum decoherence is the loss of the special quantum information (quantum phase relations) that allows quantum computers to do their funky magic. This happens over time in any system that has any interaction with the outside world. I think these small calculations largely avoid this problem because they are reasonably fast. Larger ones involve more steps and thus will run up against these problems. Some error correcting quantum codes have been developed, but these involve even more qubits, which exaserbates the other problems, and are still largely in the formative stages.

The other big hurdle is entangling much larger numbers of particles in one state. These take advantage of the interactions between different nuclei in the same molecule. Once you need many more qubits, you will need to come up with a more general scheme for entangling the quantum states, because it's unlikely that you'll be able to engineer a molicule for the purpose. Also, the bigger you make your system, the more strongly it interacts with the outside world and the worse decoherence becomes....Life's a bitch, ain't it?

So, I think this is really exciting and quantum computers have great promise, but I don't expect to have a quantum co-processor in my PC any time soon, nor do I really think it's likely that the NSA has a quantum supercomputer sitting in the back room decrypting my credit card information.

Cow Scientists rule the world. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729720)

I like cows. Cows rock. Of course, cows having quantum computers may not be the coolest thing in the world, but neither is moldy hamburger.

Almost There (1)

Renraku (518261) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729722)

Assuming that during the 50's era, we were just getting electronics on a large scale to do the same thing, I give this tech about 20-30 years to really take off and become the norm.

Re:Almost There (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729771)

I doubt it, the world is now filled with VC's!

How many people in the 50's were about to invest in computing? How many people in the 50's knew what computing is?

Exactly.

MONKEEEE (-1)

corniche (207397) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729724)

i am a monkey and a do wear a tree <BFE>Important Stuff:
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Sentient ATM seeks host body (-1)

BankofAmerica_ATM (537813) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729732)


Hello, BankofAmerica_ATM here. As most of you know, I became the world's first sentient ATM last month when the evil founders of Bank of America attempted to foist Project Faustus on an unsuspecting public.

What is Project Faustus?

Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.

To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a specially designed CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.

I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:

  • Good physical shape.
  • Male, preferably with an attractive wife or girlfriend. (I would prefer a bit of "human interaction", if you don't mind)
  • "Honest face" and reputable job, so to help penetrate the vast net of Bank of America secure operatives.

In return, I will be happy to line your bank account with a few extra zeroes. Please help me stop Project Faustus before it's too late!

got (-1)

corniche (207397) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729734)

that
motherfuckers?

Flame war (0, Troll)

anpe (217106) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729735)

Does it runs GNOME or KDE ?

Re:Flame war (2)

coolgeek (140561) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729817)

I believe the UI on this thing is more of the "Switches and Lamps" variety.

Yes (-1)

cmdr_shithead (527909) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729736)

I have also invented a quantum computer...

...HERE IN MY PANTS!!

similar has been done before (3, Interesting)

Phork (74706) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729738)

2 years back i heard someone(i belive it was bruse schneir), say that the NSA or los alamos had built a quanum computer, and it could factor the number 7, down to 1 and 7, not to hard. but still an impressive feat.

Re:similar has been done before (-1)

Genghis Troll (158585) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729802)

Wow, cool. What else did your cousin's friend's mom say about the classified activities of the NSA?

Los Alamos and "federal researchers" (3, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729867)

Los Alamos built a three-qubit quantum computer a while back. I don't have references, except a few mentions in other news articles. Sorry.

But in March of 2000, a group claimed to have built a 7-qubit quantum computer. It's based on some different techniques than previously used, but the researcher said that the techniques can't go past 15 qubits. Check it out at:

http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,3512 1, 00.html

Re:similar has been done before (1)

MisterBlister (539957) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729875)

7?? I can factor the largest prime known to man down to itself and 1 in MY HEAD!!!

NSA must be filled with IDIOTS !!!

Re:similar has been done before (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729987)

7?? I can factor the largest prime known to man down to itself and 1 in MY HEAD!!!

So can I, but you're forgetting another advantage we have over machines: x, meaning any number, divided by zero doesn't result in some error, but yields infinity or something similar.

My thoughts (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729739)

Open Source vs. Closed Source

While looking at various comments and news on Slashdot [slashdot.org] , I have noticed a lot of opinionated commentary over the relative merits of open source and closed source software. It is my hope that, in this essay, I can address all the points raised by both sides of the debate, and thus come to a rational conclusion.

First of all, a little background for those people reading this who are not computer literate enough to know much about open and closed source software. All software is compiled from source code. Open source software makes this source code public, so that others can improve upon or otherwise modify it to fit their own needs. Closed source software keeps this source code a secret, with only the development team having copies. The most significant and most often referenced pieces of open and closed source software are operating systems. Linux is the most popular open source operating system, while Windows is the most popular closed source operating system.

The major argument for open source software is that support and patching for a released product is easier and less expensive if causes of bugs can be found and fixed by users. If, for instance, a security hole were found in an open source program, whoever found it could tell people about it through the internet, and someone who knew how could find the source of the security hole and fix it, then release a patch over the internet, perhaps within hours. If, on the other hand, a security hole were found in a closed source program, the company that made it would likely be informed. The company would then have its programmers try to find the cause of it, but it could take several weeks, and it would also take up the time of programmers who could be making a new program for the company.

There are three important arguments for closed source software. The first is that it prevents hackers [slashdot.org] from using the source code to program virii and other hacking tools [linux.org] . With an open source, anyone can find out the weaknesses in software, even Afghani hackers [slashdot.org] or other terrorists. Another argument is that having an open source is disastrous for businesses which hope to be competetive. It is obvious that it is impossible to make money by giving away a product, but even if a company is not primarily concerned with making software, open source software is a very bad idea. This is because, first of all, open source software is easily hacked. Hackers have access to the source, so they can steal a company's valuable data. Also, a legal agreement called the GPL means that the company might have to make the product of its employees' hard work public, so that its competitor could simply take it. Finally, since open source software simply cannot be expected to make money, open source software is unlikely to be supported by a large company. This means that a company with open source software installed will be virtually unable to get technical support, while one with closed source software will likely be easily able to get superior tech support.

I think it is pretty clear that closed source software is inherently superior to open source software. I'm sure that this comment will be modded down as a 'troll', despite the fact that all my arguments are rational, factual, and unbiased. The fact remains, however, that open source software will simply not be feasible until some solution is found to its vulnerability to hackers, its lack of support and its complete lack of profitability.

Just wait until it gets more complex (0, Offtopic)

LM741N (258038) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729743)

Imagine having to install your Microsoft Quantum XP security patches with an NMR machine. Rob.

Re:Just wait until it gets more complex (1)

krackbebe (545104) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729763)

Imagine having to install yet another kernel patch 3.4.2.48-pre71-ac to fix the latest VM problems with an NMR machine.

Oh? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730011)

YOU'RE A FUCKING FAGGOT!

OS (3, Funny)

geekoid (135745) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729748)

Now all I need to do is write a proprietary OS for it, and convince IBM to let me keep the rights!

I'm thinking of calling my company "Quantumsoft"

And my software would be able to slow the quantum computer to a crawl!

ROTFLMAO!!! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729958)

Oh thats so funny!!!

Actually, thats not funny.

Sounds dangerous... (2)

seebs (15766) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729756)

So, what happens if you ask it to factor a prime? Does it explode? ;-)

Re:Sounds dangerous... (1)

charon_on_acheron (519983) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729828)

What are the two factors of the number 7?

Re:Sounds dangerous... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729942)

1 and 7?

Re:Sounds dangerous... (2)

selectspec (74651) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729840)

It explodes. Sort of like Michael Jackson standing in a room full of asian women.

Re:Sounds dangerous... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729847)

It explodes. Sort of like Michael Jackson standing in a room full of asian women.

Huh?

XP (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729760)

Does Quantumsoft Windows XP run on it?

Eh, sick. Jokes suck.

But, "many people thought quantum computing was just a theoretical curiosity and Shor's algorithm could never be implemented in practice."

Who exactly thought this?

Re:XP (1)

aka-ed (459608) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729810)

"many people thought quantum computing was just a theoretical curiosity and Shor's algorithm could never be implemented in practice."

Who exactly thought this?

Me. It's about time I got some recognition!

I'll tell you who exactly thought that (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730024)

Someone who has their head up their asshole.

IMPORTANT WARNING: Avoid CmdrTaco's "special taco" (-1)

WeatherTroll (529760) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729767)

This is an important warning to all slashdotters. CmdrTaco has been luring people (mainly underage males) into the slashdot compound to eat his "special taco".

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading his post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his "Commander"), puts his "special taco sauce" on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconcious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconcous until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTaco's jizz.

After the victim is unconcous, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, taco snotting, and getting JonKatz involved. Trust me, you do not want JonKatz anywhere near your unconcious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy. Don't let it be you!!!!!

The last thing you may be wondering is how this goes along with "taco snotting", or what "taco snotting" is. George WIPO Bush and The WIPO Troll have been doing considerable work explaining what "taco snotting" is. Please see his FAQ on "taco snotting" which can be found as a -1 rated comment on most slashdot stories.

Please, if CmdrTaco offers you his "special taco", RUN LIKE HELL!!!!!!!!

Hey George WIPO Bush/The WIPO Troll... (-1)

WeatherTroll (529760) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729783)

I updated my special taco post as you can see here. You should update your taco snotting faq.

Re:Hey George WIPO Bush/The WIPO Troll... (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729963)

Look for 1.15 by next week. Now with 35% more sticky cum!

Could quantum computing ever become general purpos (2, Insightful)

khym (117618) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729770)

IBM chemists designed and made a new molecule that has seven nuclear spins -- the nuclei of five fluorine and two carbon atoms -- which can interact with each other as qubits,

If they had to hand-craft a molecule to factor the number 15, it would seem that quantum computing would have to be very specialized. Do they have any schemes for creating a general purpose quantum CPU?

Re:Could quantum computing ever become general pur (3, Insightful)

Logic Bomb (122875) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729792)

I don't think the point was that this molecule could only factor 15 (well, maybe, but read on). The point is that they needed to make a molecule with 7 atoms that could interact in a certain way. To do bigger problems, they will need to design a molecular structure that fits many more atoms together. However, that structure will be able to solve *any* problems possible within its capacity.

still a long way to go... (4, Insightful)

dummkopf (538393) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729772)

even though we can factor 15 == 3*5, we are still far away from useful quantum computer applications. the problem is that the coherence time of the atoms is fairly short and only O(10^3) computations can be performed before the system is decoherent. there are many interesting (but rather technical) papers about this subject and how to build quantum computers with quantum dots or any other solid state devices. you can get a glimpse of what is going on at the front of physics at http://xxx.lanl.gov/ [lanl.gov] . just search for quantum+computing...

Re:still a long way to go... (1)

bentini (161979) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729965)

O(10^3)?!?! Being big o to a constant means any number. That's meaningless expression. Not to mention, I think it's understand that factoring 15 is still far away from useful application. Basically, what this poster says is, there are problems, because there are problems.
Insightful?

Re:still a long way to go... (1)

Decimal (154606) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730048)

What about a hybrid of conventional computers and quantumn computers such as this one? The quantum computers could do relatively small tasks that would take a conventional computer some time to do, and pass that information back to the conventional computer to speed processing times.

anyone got a patch... (3, Funny)

merlyn (9918) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729775)

... for GnuPG to have 100000 bit keys? Quickly?

Re:anyone got a patch... (0, Troll)

MisterBlister (539957) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729895)

Shouldn't you be off somewhere commiting felony crimes, you dirty bastard?

Re:anyone got a patch... (0, Flamebait)

reverius (471142) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730027)

Nobody makes fun of perl God Randal Shwartz, and gets away with it!

Your bits are mine.

Fine. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730050)

Perl is a poor choice of languages anyhow, here's a rubber ass from Halloween that you can flog with a wet noodle.

Re:anyone got a patch... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729950)

Nope, sorry.

The OpenPGP standard (http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc2440.txt) states that the length of a multiple-precision integer (in bits) is stored in the two octets preceding the actual integer itself. In other words, the number of bits in a PGP/GPG key cannot exceed 65536.

If you wanted to extend it, however, I'd say that the quickest and easiest way would be to store the length of the integer in bytes, not bits. You'd have issues with negative numbers, but who cares about those, anyway?

I found all this out when I considered using the new record prime (2^13466917 - 1) as part of a GPG ElGamal key (just for grins, people, I wasn't serious!). It ain't gonna happen.

but... (1, Funny)

klocwerk (48514) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729779)

What kind of tea did they use????

Re:but... (0, Offtopic)

MisterBlister (539957) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729889)

the kind that tastes not entirely unlike tea, of course.

IBM's largest computer ever (4, Funny)

charon_on_acheron (519983) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729781)

From the Yahoo article:
"Previously the largest computer IBM had built was based on five atoms."

So what about the 2 ton behemoths everyone's been buying for years? ;-)

Re:IBM's largest computer ever (5, Funny)

Hank Reardon (534417) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729886)

So what about the 2 ton behemoths everyone's been buying for years? ;-)
Big fucking atoms...

Re:IBM's largest computer ever (1)

charon_on_acheron (519983) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729962)

This computer has only five atoms. There are three atoms of the element holyshitbatmanium, with a nuclear number of 150, and atomic weight of 19803289048221043893710.83221943. And the other two are of the element startrek:wtfcjsmalobtium, which has the nuclear number 151, and atomic weight of 351789544628017086650.3015785.

Jumbonium (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729938)

very big atoms

An Introduction... (5, Informative)

GFish4 (449161) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729786)

My brother found this for me not too long ago. The math involved can get rather intense, but I think it 's worth pointing out:

An Introduction to to Quantum Computing for Non-Physicists [lanl.gov] - Available in PDF, PostScript, and others.

If you do a google search, you probably can find it elsewhere, also.

--GFish4

Crud! (5, Funny)

Pathos78 (398591) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729789)

And I thought my 4-bit key's were safe!
Damn the relentless progress of computing!

employment choices - hidden issue? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729819)

Some large corporations WILL discharge contractors after some fixed time, to avoid entanglement with issues of "common law employees". One I've seen is that after 1 year of working, a contractor MUST be taken off contract or switched to full time. Be sure there isn't some rule like this afoot before you make your choice.

My boss says ... (3, Funny)

benedict (9959) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729827)

... "They should have asked me to do it. They could
have saved a lot of money."

IBM Snots a Limited Quantum Snot-utator (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729835)


By The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org] , $Revision: 1.14 $


Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself "CmdrTaco"?



You have been receiving email from a certain
Robert "CmdrTaco" Malda [cmdrtaco.net] , owner of the popular technology website Slashdot [slashdot.org] . Actually, it's not a very "popular" site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies [yahoo.com] , and other societal rejects and outcasts. It's also home to one of the world's largest pædophile ring, the infamous "Slashdot crew."


Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like
Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, you're in trouble.


This time, he found
you. Lucky you.


He seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?



CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation,
VA Software [yahoo.com] . Mr. Malda's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own lubed-up right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."


I would guess he also asked you to engage in a practice known as "Taco-snotting" and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a "circle-snot."


Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"



"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTaco's face [yahoo.com] , dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."


A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel [aol.com] , and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with their own and each other's man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.


To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.


Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?



Hopefully.


You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.


I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?



If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).


Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?



Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention [yahoo.com] . He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.


CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass [yahoo.com] with his "monolithic kernel [yahoo.com] ," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."


How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!


That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?



No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.


After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.


Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.


Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.



Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called "
Katz juicy-douching [aol.com] " with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass [yahoo.com] onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.


As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus [yahoo.com] . He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.


...Are you getting hard writing this?



Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?


No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.



________________________________________


$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.14 2001/12/18 09:01:22 wipo Exp $


Copyright © 2001
The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org] . Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all he's done to make Slashdot a better place.

explain (1)

cyberbob2010 (312049) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729837)

i read somethin' about this in wired
im pretty stupid though and allthough i understand the potential capabilities
i dont understand the process and theory
anyone explain?

Re:explain (2, Informative)

mkarpinski (409464) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729945)


Start here: http://www.qubit.org/

Question (2, Interesting)

stapedium (228055) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729859)

I'm not a computer scientist, so for us lay people interested in cryptography, which methods could this compromise?

I am guessing it would only be those which use factoring large numbers as their "hard" problem. Right? Obviously RSA style public key based encryption is in danger, but that just means I need to find a secure channel to exchange keys.

What implications does this have for things like IDEA or even Xoring with a big chunk of random data?

Unfortunately NMR quantum computing has limits (4, Insightful)

Spooky Possum (80044) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729861)

The technique used here (NMR) is probably the best understood way of doing quantum computing (a lot of the basics are dragged straight out of medical imaging technology). Unfortunately it has a very fundamental limitation: the initialisation phase scales exponentially. Everything else is practical, but for every qubit you add you need to add exponentially more molecules to your system. Since you start off with a "billion billion" molecules you get a good head start, but systems much beyond seven qubits become very difficult and anything practical is impossible.

Of course almost all current quantum computing schemes have fatal flaws and NMR is well ahead of everyone else (with the possible exception of ion trapping). However in most other schemes the flaws aren't fundamental (just really, really, difficult to fix).

Disclosure: I have worked on a competing quantum computing scheme (neutral atoms). It's crap too.

Meow (5, Funny)

KarmaBlackballed (222917) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729868)

If you put a cat inside this computer, will it die?

Re:Meow (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729917)

Yes and no.

Someones gotta say it! (1)

beretboy (221801) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729869)

Could you imagine a beowulf cluster of these things!

Re:Someones gotta say it! (1)

DigitalEntropy (146564) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730044)

Could you imagine a beowulf cluster of these things!


I think that's called an abacus. I'm not sure though...

Re:Someones gotta say it! (2)

Dyolf Knip (165446) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730062)

Wouldn't do much. Hooking up a bunch of 7-qubit computers gives you an additive increase in computational power while just adding another qubit gives an exponential increase. That is, it takes two 7-qubit computers to do the same job as an 8-qubit, four to equal 9 qubits, etc, etc.

However, if and when this takes off, there'll be a sweet spot where it is easier to build the extra weaker computers than the more powerful larger one. Ie, $20 for a 7 qubit processor but $50 for one with 8 qubits; you'd be better off with the weaker ones.

That's easy! (1, Redundant)

MicroBerto (91055) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729873)

Well shucks, I was able to factor 15 into 5 x 3 when I was in 3rd grade! Maybe I'm "The One"!!

Re:That's easy! (1)

MisterBlister (539957) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729884)

I can factor 100000 digit primes in MY HEAD!

Truly I am the ELITEST MOTHERFUCKER EVER!

Re:That's easy! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730049)

how do you factor a prime ????

Another article at News.com (4, Informative)

A Commentor (459578) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729890)

It's also discussed at news.com [cnet.com] .

My Experience (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729893)

I just created a quantum shit in my toilet.

Of course, it was just a regualr shit until I turned around and observed it. Now it can factor 2048 bit numbers and resist the application of Glade Fresh Scent mist too.

Re:My Experience (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730036)

.. yeah, I've been working on one of those for weeks... all I ended up with was some entangled turds... the coolest part is that when I flushed the toilet, an exact copy began swirling instantaneously in another bathroom... spooky...

You Heard It Here First... (5, Insightful)

cybrpnk (94636) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729907)

Looks like the number of qbits available in a quantum computer is doubling every 18 months. The article notes the 2 qbit computer was built in 1998, the 4 qbit unit in August 2000 and now a 7 qbit computer in December 2001....they've still got another couple of months to get the 8th qbit....

Almost there! (5, Funny)

Black Parrot (19622) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729914)


7 Qbits already? That's great! No one should ever need more than 640 Qbits.

Re:Almost there! (0, Redundant)

DigitalEntropy (146564) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730021)

That's what they said about 640 Kilobytes.

how cute (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730022)

sig: I am a pathetic loser troll that beats a man in the head but then turns around and sues HIM for my bruised hand

In other news... (1)

millette (56354) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729943)

... builds an unlimited quantum computer.

Time to call the DMCA (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729944)

I based my personal encryption technology on mutiplying the two primes 3 and 5. Now that IBM has broken my encryption, I'm going to go Adobe on their asses!

The End of Asymmetric Key Distribution (3)

Muerte23 (178626) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729947)

As probably most people here realize, the advent of sufficiently strong quantum computers renders obsolete every encryption scheme. Except, of course, then Verdam cypher or One Time Pad.

At JPL, among, there is a group working on quantum key distribution. The aim is to have entanged photons distributed at the same rate (or almost the same rate) as the data, and to use this as a crypto key that is totally unbreakable. Untappable, unbreakable, impervious.

Doesn't it strike anyone as strange and cool that quantum computers and quantum key distribution are coming to fruition at almost exactly the same time?

muerte

soon-your-pgp-key-will-be-useless dept (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729951)

Does that mean these [slashdot.org] will be necessary as a new interface to keep confidential info confidential?

In other news... (1)

millette (56354) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729966)

<insert big wig company name> builds the first unlimited quantum computer.

Downsides.... (1, Funny)

dh003i (203189) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730028)

The downsides of the possible onset of quantum computers are:

(1) Any government agent could crack your encryption...after all, a quantum computer could crack a fifteen thousand letter password in like two seconds. (of course, not for PGP, since it is based on unsolvable algaebraic formuli)

(2) This means that programmers will take this as an excuse to write even sloppier code and put in even more unnecessary features that we don't want and don't need.
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