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214 comments

frist posting (-1)

VALinux (449801) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729957)

oops, i did it again

BARNEY RAPED MY FAMILY! (-1)

KingAzzy (320268) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730258)


Last wednesday, we were all sitting on our fat lazy asses eating TV
dinners and tolerating Barney for my daughter.. I was digging my finger
up my nose chasing a big ripe booger which just wouldn't come out, when
all of a sudden a let a big, deep, loud fart rip out of my flabby
butt-cheeks. To this, my daughter turned to me and said "DAD!!! WILL YOU
PLEASE _QUIT_?!?! YOU'RE RUINING THE SHOW!!" To this, I ripped another
follow-up fart and flicked my big juicy booger onto the lens of her thick
glasses.

"HAHAHAHAHA!! YOU STUPID FUCKPUDDLE!! HAHAHAHA!" I laughed as she smeared
the big booger all over her glasses.

"MOM!!!" my loving daughter cried to my loving wife (sitting next to me),
"DAD FLICKED A BIG NASTY BOOGER ONTO MY GLASSES AND HE WON'T STOP
FARTING!!!"

"Well, honey, then you gotta do THIS.." she replied, and simultaneously
plunged her fist into my sweat&shit-stained-boxer-short-clad crotch.

She must have shoved my huge horse balls clear up into my stomach, because
all the color left my face and my blood-shot eyes rolled into the back of
my head and a little squirt of warm liquid shit escaped my ass.

As I was trying to get some air into my lungs, my wife and daughter were
laughing their asses off!! I was fixing to reach for my burning cigar to
show into my wife's left tit when all of a sudden...

...THE FRONT DOOR FLEW OPEN AND WHO STOOD THERE BUT... BARNEY HIMSELF!!

I WAS FUCKIN AMAZED!!! Here I was, in my FUCKING UNDERWEAR, my face blue
with pain, fixing to roast my bitch wife's tit, when who the FUCK should
come into my living room but FUCKING BARNEY!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

But I was in for more!! From behind his back, Barney pulled out an UZI
9mm SUBMACHINE GUN!! My balls were both pulsating like.. well, I don't
fuckin know, but they were PULSATING.. and my wife started screaming shit
like "OH FUCK!!!"

At that moment, Barney squeezed the trigger, and deposited about 15 rounds
into my wife, spraying her innards all over myself and my daugher, who was
too stupified to do anything.

"YOU THINK I'M JUST SOME FUCKING STUPID ASS PURPLE FAG DINOSAUR WHO JUMPS
AROUND ON YOUR FUCKING TV SET DON'T YOU, YOU FAT AMERICAN FUCK!!!!!!!!" he
bellowed as he trained his smoking Uzi somewhere in the area of my sweaty
forehead.

I didn't know what the hell to say to that, but I thought fast: "Uh, no
sir. I like your songs" I gasped.

"YOU LIKE MY STUPID SONGS, DO YA?!!?! WELL, YOU'RE GONNA _LOVE_ THIS
ONE!!! THIS IS MY "I LOVE TO SKULL-FUCK YOUR WIFE" SONG!!!" he yelled back
at me. At that moment, with his other arm, he pulled out a 12-guage gas
semi-auto Beretta shotgun and blew my wife's head into a red haze of
brains and gore. He then threw both weapons to the ground, and waddled
over to my wife, who was now laying sprawled out, half on the sofa, and
half on the floor. He reached towards his crotch, and produced the
BIGGEST DAMN PURPLE PENIS I'VE EVER FRIGGIN SEEN!!!! This monster must
have been at least 18 inches long!! And then HE STARTED SKULL-FUCKING MY
WIFE'S DISTINTEGRATED HEAD!!!! I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES!!!

At this, my daugher fell backwards and fainted. I couldn't believe what I
was seeing!! BARNEY was in MY house!! And he was SKULLFUCKING MY WIFE!!!
I was frantically trying to remember where I put my Polaroid, when that
little green sidekick of Barney's walked through the door. "BARNEY!!" she
bellowed, not bothering to take the cigarette out of the corner of her
mouth. "WE GOTTA GET TO THE STUDIO IN 5 MINUTES AND YOU'RE WASTING TIME
DOING THIS SHIT?!?!!? GETCHER FAT PURPLE ASS UP AND INTO THE VAN!! WE'RE
WAITING!!"

Barney stopped pumping my wife's head for a moment and looking over his
shoulder, shouted back "OH, KISS MY ASS, YOU LAZY BITCH!!! I CAN DO
WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!!! I'M FUCKIN _BARNEY_ FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!! I RULE
THE WORLD!!" and returned to humping my wife.

The little green lizard had a pretty frustrated look on her face. "FUCK
YOU!! I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT!!!! I CAN GET WORK ON MY OWN WITHOUT HANGING
AROUND YOUR SICK PSYCHO ASS!!!" she bellowed. Barney didn't even bother to
reply. Her face grew red, and reaching behind her, she produced a big .44
Magnum revolver!!! "EAT THIS YOU CHILD MOLESTING MAGGOT SHIT
MOTHERFUCKER!!!!" she howled as she emptied all 5 chambers into the back
of Barney's head.

Barney's brains and hot gore sprayed all over the entire room. The little
green fucker just wasted Barney!!! What the fuck was going on around
here??!!?!?!?!? What was my daughter going to do now???!!!!

I was in a state of mixed shock, panic, fear, and surprise!! Why the hell
didn't I go get my polaroid and take pictures?!?!

Greenie turned towards me and said, with a wicked leer on her face, "SO!!
You think I'm just gonna let you and your bitch daughter walk out of here,
now?!?!" She leveled her .44 onto me, and all that came out of me was a
weak drawn-out fart. "Uh, are you really that little green dinosaur?" I
asked, weakly. "LITTLE GREEN DINOSAUR!!! HAHAHA!!! YOU LARD ASS!!! NO-ONE
KNOWS MY NAME!! THEY ONLY KNOW _HIS_ NAME! (indicating Barney, I presumed)
BUT NOT ANYMORE!! HAHAHA!!" and this moment she squeezed the trigger of
her revolver several times, but all that came about was a few clicks of
the empty gun. Whew!

At this moment, who should appear, but Mr. Rogers, wearing a muscle shirt
and holding a Mossberg pump shotgun!!! Before anyone could say anything,
he quickly pumped 5 shots into greenie, spraying her innards all over the
floor and wall. "HAHAHA YOU COMMUNIST SHITBACK!! I FINALLY TRACKED YOU
DOWN!!!" he screamed with glee over her steaming corpse.

I'll tell you more about the rest later...

SEE YA!

Eh? Spelling? (0, Redundant)

webword (82711) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729959)

Brought or Bought?

Re:Eh? Spelling? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730139)

Ah! The Slashdot buggers decided to change the title of the posting. The message of webword makes no sense. It was a bit funny, but now it is just a comment, made like any other Slashpig.

press release (5, Informative)

cha0sadddddddd (323712) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729961)

http://www.att.com/press/item/0,1354,4135,00.html

Re:press release (1)

cha0sadddddddd (323712) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729982)

i work in an at&t broadband call center and submitted this hours and hours ago when they told us. must not have been accepted cause i didnt have anything to link to yet.managment told us at about 2:00 mountain time.

any worse? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729968)

Well, at least service can't get any worse than it already is.

It's not @home anymore (2, Interesting)

Schemat1c (464768) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729971)

Since they went bankrupt. Now it's AT&T Broadband Internet. They've already changed my email address and throttled down my bandwidth. I hope it doesn't get worse.

Re:It's not @home anymore (2, Interesting)

moncyb (456490) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729998)

It's probably a good thing they set a cap on the bandwidth. I think one of the reasons that @home went bankrupt is because they didn't have such restrictions. Bandwith costs money...

Yet in the Dallas, TX area (3, Interesting)

DAldredge (2353) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730092)

They REFUSE to sell you anymore bandwidth, no matter what you are willing to pay...

Re:It's not @home anymore (2)

ThatComputerGuy (123712) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730250)

Damnit, the bandwidth cap sucks. I hit it all the time, even with just one download at a time! Start up a second download, and as expected, it just halves the download speed of each file.

Goddamnit.

Re:It's not @home anymore (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730006)

Just be thankful they won the bid. The other major bidder was AOL-Time-Warner. Eeww.

Re:It's not @home anymore (1)

PeeOnYou2 (539746) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730094)

No problems here.. no slow downs.. no isp switching.. still got all my @home mail/ip junk...

Re:It's not @home anymore (3, Informative)

evilquaker (35963) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730120)

Since they went bankrupt. Now it's AT&T Broadband Internet.

Maybe for you, but not for Cox@Home or Comcast@Home (or Rogers@Home) customers. We still have @Home service until sometime before Feb. 28th...

Re:It's not @home anymore (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730134)

Only in AT&T territory, and only because AT&T didn't want to pay @Home even what it was costing @Home to provide bandwidth, muchless hardware maintenance and support costs. I lost my job because of AT&T fucking us hardcore. Fortunately, most of my ex-coworkers get more warning than I do that they need to get a new job...

Re:It's not @home anymore (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730232)

@Home is still a company. AT&T Broadband Internet is the service that AT&T customers were transitioned to.

Praise Murphy (1)

onyxruby (118189) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729973)

Praise Murphy for he has saved me from having my cable modem taken over by AOL or Microsoft! All give praise to Murphy, for he has not forsaken us. Praise may also be given that I don't have to look at satelite service.

Re:Praise Murphy (2, Informative)

stupidNewbie (537989) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729986)

... the article says Microsoft was involved financially... i would bet a whole dollar that the Redmond grip will be felt eventually....

Re:Praise Murphy (1)

kesuki (321456) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730052)

Microsoft was backing the comcast deal.
I read about it before, and the article above mentioned it. In fact Microsoft was offering cash on 3 of the 4 possible outcomes for what AT&T would end up doing. Why is microsoft offering cash to 3 of the 4 parties? remember that whole 'set top box' software debate? I wouldn't be at all suprized if comcast announced that microsoft was now going to be providing them with set top box software.

WTF is "Brought?" (-1, Offtopic)

Noxxus (259942) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729976)

Don't you editors proofread anything?

Re:WTF is "Brought?" (0, Offtopic)

knick (19201) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730065)

If they did, then your life would serve no purpose.

They are giving you a reason to live. To bitch and point out fault.

BTW, you were the ONLY person to notice this spelling error, so we are VERY glad you posted this.

@Home? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2729977)

I don't think it affects @Home at all. I used to have @Home but AT&T Broadband dumped @Home. And so I now have AT&T Broadband, oops make that Comcast. I wonder what Comcast Service Agreement is like.

WhatMeWorry!

Re:@Home? (1)

Knightmare (12112) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730042)

I am on comcast and regularly get above T1 speeds downstream, now upstream that is another story, I am pretty sure 56k modems get better upstream than me ;) So if you do alot of uploading or try to ssh somewhere while morpheus is letting people leach from you, your screwed ;) I personally think they went a little overboard on the upstream cap but I guess that isn't my decision to make so I will live with it. And as far as stability my cablemodem has gone out once since I moved to my current address (123 days according to my firewall). And didn't go out once in the 8 months I lived at my previous address. So I say bang for the buck Comcast has everybody beat around here (Nashville, TN area)

Re:@Home? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730274)

today i called att about their slow service over the past few days,,, they said i needed to call my computer support, and get directions on how to clear my cache, and reset my virtual memory. after a few minutes of laughing at him on the phone, get got his supervisor on to tell me that there was a slowdown in the northeast. Man all of that just to avoid saying that they provide lame service.

Good tidings (0)

krackbebe (545104) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729979)

Hopefully Comcast will bring the same high quality service it has been known for to this broadband sector.

Do they know what they are buying? (1)

TechyImmigrant (175943) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729992)

Myself and 100% of my friends who I know have cable with AT&T are in the process of switching to DSL and dropping AT&T due to the steady degradation of service, culminating in the @Home debacle.

Do Comcast know that AT&T may be about to lose a huge proportion of their customers?

Re:Do they know what they are buying? (2, Interesting)

lordbrain (172792) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730248)

I don't think that Comcast really cares about all the people quitting the internet service.
Keep in mind that AT&T Broadband is still the largest cable company in the U.S. So I think that what Comcast really wants is the regions that AT&T Broadband cable television is covering.
So although people may be leaving cable modems to go to dsl they aren't necessarily going to leave their cable television service, which is what I think Comcast really wants.

ATT is dumb (1, Offtopic)

alen (225700) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729993)

I work for a company that does business with ATT and once in a while in meetings with management they always say how screwed up they are. Totally different systems for everything. The poor customer service people have to look at numerous systems just to find out what the customer's problem is.

Re:ATT is dumb (2, Interesting)

Jburkholder (28127) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730149)

ATT wasn't able to evolve its IT systems to keep up with changes in its business. I remember back, prolly '94, reading about how they had a hundred or more different systems and how they had the enormous task of consolidating and modernizing these systems, the goal being a unified view of the customer (rather than the vertical systems they had for each business).

It wasn't that they didn't recognize this problem or try to do anything about it. They never came up with a workable strategy. Frankly, I'm not sure how you would even begin to tackle a problem like this.

Effect on @Home (1)

NOC_Monkey (73018) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729995)

I wonder how this affects @Home.

Considering that @Home is closing its doors in a little over 2 months, I doubt it'll have any effect on @Home. The only way it might affect them is if Comcast were to also buy @Home (perhaps so they have a ready-built backbone to trasition customers to).

In other news.. (3, Funny)

Xerithane (13482) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729997)

Comcast issues a more clear statement, saying they had brought AT&T flowers. The type of flowers were thought to be tulips, falling in with the funeral metephor.

Upon further inquiry, it seems AT&T has decided that they really just suck at being a large company and had to split once again, this time under their own influence, into several smaller companies.

If only certain other companies [microsoft.com] could make the same blundering mistakes to cause large debt requiring spinoffs....

Re:In other news.. (1)

cliffy2000 (185461) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730219)

Perhaps the tulips represented "Tulip Mania," or the current incarnation of the frenzy - this time in mergers.

Spelling?? Who gives a **** (0, Offtopic)

yadung (60166) | more than 12 years ago | (#2729999)

C'mon ppl do you care that much?? Every single time there is a posted story u ppl immediatly find *every* spelling and grammar error and post it. Why is it so important that u have to post about it?

Re:Spelling?? Who gives a **** (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730035)

To people who know how to read properly, "brought" MEANS SOMETHING DIFFERENT than "bought".

Add a miscellaneous "t" by accident to the word "can", and all of a sudden, you get "cant". It changes the meaning. (Or makes the reader wonder whether the "t" is the error, or if the apostrophe is missing.)

LETTERS CAN CHANGE WORDS INTO OTHER WORDS! THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING OF WHAT IS BEING WRITTEN. Learn to read.

Re:Spelling?? Who gives a **** (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730047)

Anyone will know that it was supposed to be bought. It doesnt take a genius. Nor does it take 15 posts about it.

Re:Spelling?? Who gives a **** (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730073)

And anyone who reads photographically doesn't like to have to stop and figure out why the patterns don't match up.

It is annoying to not be able to use one's god(dess)-given talents due to the stupidity of others.

Re:Spelling?? Who gives a **** (-1)

I.T.R.A.R.K. (533627) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730108)

"...and all of a sudden, you get 'cant'"

Ahh, but then you would get another 15 posts bitching about the missing apostrophe. ;)
You just can't win around here!

- I throw rocks at retarded kids

Re:Spelling?? Who gives a **** (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730136)

If everyone takes the time to learn the language they speak (whatever it may be), and/or spellcheck, you don't get fifteen posts about anything but the topic. ;)

This is good, AT&T is extinct (5, Interesting)

Ars-Fartsica (166957) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730000)

AT&T, since Armstrong became CEO, has been an ongoing tale of poor decisions and huge losses. Its worth noting that AT&T lost money owning the cable business - Armstrong was paid an astounding amount to build the cable empire at AT&T only to sell it for less than it cost him. Pathetic. Armstrong clearly needs to go, but at this point its unlikely AT&T will survivce in any case - they will almost certainly be swallowed by SBC.

As for the cable business, Comcast can only be an improvement. AT&T service was dismal, but typical of this truly out of date corporate dinosaur.

Re:This is good, AT&T is extinct (3, Funny)

Xerithane (13482) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730009)

I love America.

Ma Bell gets broken up.

Baby Bells join into SBC.

Remaining AT&T collapses under it's own weight (and stupidity).

SBC swallows AT&T.

Life .. feeds on Life .. feeds on Life ..

Re:This is good, AT&T is extinct (3, Interesting)

Jburkholder (28127) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730126)

Well, not exactly...

>Baby Bells join into SBC.

Southwest Bell was one of the seven baby bells (BellSouth, Bell Atlantic, Ameritech, US West, NyNex, PacTel and SW Bell) and they went on to acquire PacTel and Ameritech and are now SBC.

Bell Atlantic and NyNex merged and (I lost track) then became Verizon when GTE came to the party.

>SBC swallows AT&T

When did this happen? AT&T has been disintegrating on its own for some time now (Wireless, now broadband leaving). SBC hasn't had much to do with it (yet).

Re:This is good, AT&T is extinct (1)

Jburkholder (28127) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730089)

>Armstrong clearly needs to go

Armstrong is going to head this 'new company'.

AT&T Chairman C. Michael Armstrong ... will serve as chairman of the new company when the merger closes. ... Comcast President Brian Roberts will be chief executive officer.


He was going to retire in 2003, now he gets to go drive another company into the ground. I can't wait to see what happens to my service now. Up until October, we had MediaOne express (even though AT&T had bought M1 over a year prior), then we were migrated to @Home-less for the 2 months before they cut their service to AT&T and we were moved to attbi. I give it about 18 months before this goes bust and AOL/TW buys it and moves us onto something else.

bad investment (1)

y2dt (184562) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730001)

didn't att buy all the pieces for their broadband empire for $100 billion? now theyre selling it off for $72bil

Q: But can you use Linux with it? (-1, Troll)

Zico (14255) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730003)

A: Nobody cares.


SAN DIEGO, Dec. 19 /PRNewswire/ -- WebSideStory, Inc. ( www.websidestory.com ), the world's leading provider of outsourced e-business intelligence services, today reported that despite much hype and expectation in recent years, Linux has failed to gain market share from Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) and Apple (Nasdaq: AAPL) operating systems. As of December 17, 2001, Linux held a global usage share of only 0.24 percent, according to WebSideStory's StatMarket ( www.statmarket.com ), a Web development optimization service and the leading source for data on global Internet user trends. This compares with Microsoft's Windows and Apple's Macintosh operating systems, which hold a combined global usage share of more than 98 percent. For almost three years, Linux usage share has fluctuated between .2 and .3 percent, with no substantial growth. Usage share is the percentage of Internet surfers that are using a particular operating system.

Re:Q: But can you use Linux with it? (-1, Offtopic)

w1kL3f (316139) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730017)

Wow, and he gets a score of 3??? Why do trolls keep getting modded up?

did you notice... (2, Interesting)

BigBir3d (454486) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730005)

...that Microsoft gets $5 billion in "preferred securities as part of the deal?"

I guess that is better than AOL Time Warner buying AT&T Broadband.

*sigh*

Re:did you notice... (1)

thesolo (131008) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730238)

Actually, Microsoft offered to INVEST $5 Billion into AT&T Broadband if AT&T kept their service independent. Then they agreed to convert $5 Billion worth of securities into shares of the new AT&T Comcast.

Bet you didn't know.... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730007)

....that there was an entire series [stileproject.com] of these pics. Merry Christmas Slashdot!

@Home? (2, Interesting)

aka-ed (459608) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730008)

I wonder how this affects @Home.

Is that a joke? @Home is unrelated to this deal. ATT had a minority equity interest in "Excite@Home," the company that went bankrupt. AT&T is just a losing investor there.

"AT&T@Home" was a brand name for @Home service distributed by AT&T Digital Cable, not a corporate entity.

Re:@Home? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730070)

att has 70+ of voting stock in @home....

Re:@Home? (1)

aka-ed (459608) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730225)


and that's worth...? There's nothing left to control, now that they've run it to ground.

Yes their deal was a controlling interest, but only 25% of equity.

Re:@Home? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730275)

But after they bought TCI i belive they had around 33% equity and 70% voting

Restrictions? (2, Informative)

MiTEG (234467) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730013)

The ATTBI service agreement was just about the most restricitve contract [att.com] I've ever seen at an ISP. You weren't even allowed to post material that would be "considered embarrassing to a reasonable person"! Maybe this merger will make the agreement a little more sensible (and increase the bandwith cap while their at it too!)

Re:Restrictions? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730118)

Jesus! You aren't kidding..

No: ftp, web, mail, irc, anything else servers... no posting of anything EMBARRASSING let alone offensive..

Let me get this straigt... What CAN you use their service for?

Re:Restrictions? (3, Funny)

AntiNorm (155641) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730277)

Let me get this straigt... What CAN you use their service for?

Finding a new service?

Re:Restrictions? (5, Informative)

ShadeEagle (153172) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730143)

Read it closer... especially the last few lines.

They guarantee nothing, save that you get a bill.

Oh, and if you sue them, YOU pay the lawyer fees regardless of whether you win or lose.

Copy 'n pasted from the Second Example: (Caps and all...)
FINALLY, YOU AGREE TO DEFEND, INDEMNIFY, AND HOLD HARMLESS AT&T AND THIRD PARTIES WHO CONTRIBUTE TO THE AT&T WORLDNET HIGH SPEED SERVICE FROM ANY LOSS, DAMAGE, OR COST (INCLUDING ATTORNEYS' FEES) RESULTING FROM YOUR VIOLATION OF THIS AGREEMENT OR ANY ACTIVITY RELATED TO YOUR AT&T WORLDNET HIGH SPEED ACCOUNT.

In the first two examples, read "You're Responsible" REAL closely.

More Examples:
http://www.attbi.com/general-info/policies.html
http://www.att.net/general-info/terms.html
http://www.att.com/terms/

They brought them? (-1, Offtopic)

Spazntwich (208070) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730015)

Generally, it's impossible to make a sentence out of a subject and indirect object. Try adding a direct object, slashdot.

Hmm, my list of TV channels is going to shrink ... (4, Insightful)

Rosco P. Coltrane (209368) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730019)

I pay $20 for cable TV every month through a deal my neighborhood struck with AT&T Broadband (read : the majority of idiot around where I live have imposed this shit to people who wanted something else). Net result : my channel offering is the crappiest I've ever seen, and all the remaining good channels have been taken away slowly one after the other by AT&T-B without anybody being able to complain about it.

Now I guess I'll have only the Home Shopping Network, the weather channel, and the 3 (*3*!) religious-oriented channels left before I can finish posting this. Oh well, time to sell that TV and the TiVo and start reading again ...

or... (-1, Offtopic)

flamenco_spork (447301) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730241)

you could sit around an masturbate all day long!


mis pantalones son frios! me encanta las pies de las chicas hermosas!

Re:Hmm, my list of TV channels is going to shrink (1)

Angry Black Man (533969) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730256)

Do you have Digital Cable or regular? ATT is pushing digital cable hard and thus cutting back its regular channels.

Digital cable is a pretty good deal though. I get about 300 channels of programming (including all HBO's, cinemax, etc), Cable modem, and local phone line for about $110 a month. not a bad deal.

Stock Price Difference Interesting.... (3, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730020)

According to the press release on Comcast, AT&T stockholders will receive 0.34 share of Comcast for each share of AT&T they own, which is currently worth about $13.07. AT&T stock is currently selling for about $16-17. Unless there's some radical realignment in stock prices (e.g. Comcast getting hit because of the debt they're acquiring along with the assets), that means there's either some major synergy going on or else the market thinks that the rest of AT&T is worth about $4 :-) Hope it's the former...

Re:Stock Price Difference Interesting.... (1)

evilquaker (35963) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730290)

According to the press release on Comcast, AT&T stockholders will receive 0.34 share of Comcast for each share of AT&T they own, which is currently worth about $13.07. AT&T stock is currently selling for about $16-17. Unless there's some radical realignment in stock prices (e.g. Comcast getting hit because of the debt they're acquiring along with the assets), that means there's either some major synergy going on or else the market thinks that the rest of AT&T is worth about $4 :-) Hope it's the former...

Actually, it's probably the first thing you mentioned: CMCSK will probably get hit hard tomorrow because of the debt they're taking on... conversely, shares of AOL should gap up at the open, since they're not buying AT&T BI. Such is the strange world of the short-term voting machine known as the stock market...

brought? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730031)

brought? where will they bring it? or will they bruy some more companies?

what once was old... (2, Interesting)

bubbasatan (99237) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730033)

is new again...

I used to have Comcast cable television and broadband internet service. When AT&T bought MediaOne, they also acquired the Comcast division that serviced my area. Eventually, the switch was made to calling the service AT&T broadband. I find it somewhat amusing that less than a year later, I'm about to be back on Comcast. AT&T broadband was so bad that I switched back to DSL and abandoned my cable television entirely. All AT&T seemed able to do was remove good channels (WGN Chicago, Speedvision, and some others) and run commercials advertising 5 non-functional customer service phone numbers and about a zillion ads informing paying customers that stealing cable tv is a crime. Maybe Comcast will learn something from AT&T's plans to take over the cable industry. Somehow, I kinda doubt it. At least maybe now I can have decent cable tv again.

Thing$ could be wor$e (1)

lsd4all (526675) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730038)

Just be glad AT&T isn't owned by Enron. http://www.forbes.com/2001/12/05/1205enron.html At least AT&T's employees still have jobs, 401k's and stock options.

Oh shut your mouth. (-1)

cyborg_monkey (150790) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730058)

Please speak when you have something interesting to say.

Perhaps you shoud post something about Lord Of The Rings.

I want to fuck Galadriel (-1)

Taco_spork (446801) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730119)

but not Arwen... she freaks me out


what if Enron were bought by Gandalf? 'Cause then they'd be 0wn3d by a kick-ass 3117 wizard with one of them elven ring things... and a bitchin' horse.


Not that I have anything for his horse, not my scene.

Good news (0)

primal39 (409681) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730043)

This is great news for those individuals like myself who work in the cable television construction industry. AT&T has over 40,000 miles of existing plant that is using 450Mhz equipment that will need upgrading DESPERATELY as more and more people clamor for things like Digital Cable, broadband solutions via coax, etc... Currently most digital cable provision is via 550Mhz equipment and above (with 750 and 860 the standards new deployment). Thus, corporations that have long been subcontractors to Comcast, such as Communications Construction Group [ccgcatv.com] will once again have much to do.

@homeattbicomcastdial-up? (3, Insightful)

doggo (34827) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730046)

Crap!

Just when I was hoping my damn connection would get stable. Got a signal to the cable modem a half hour ago after another 6 days outage after the 5 day outage during the excite debacle.

Now what, we gotta change all our settings, e-mail forwarding, accounts, etc.?

Can anyone recommend a high speed internet provider in Chicago that looks stable financially, and provides good service. And, dare I ask, has technicians that know their asses from gopher holes?

Or do I have to use the built-in 56K modem on my new iBook indefinitely?

Whatta pile a horse pucky!

Re:@homeattbicomcastdial-up? (5, Funny)

lsd4all (526675) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730063)

These guys look good.

http://www.enron.com/corp/products/broadband/

Re:@homeattbicomcastdial-up? (0, Flamebait)

bergeron76 (176351) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730115)

Rule #1: Never use an ISP email account. Always roll your own or use a free one, or even rent one from a yourfirstname@yourlastname.com type place. Point it where _you_ want it.

Rule #2: Never get comfortable with your provider. You will only get hurt. Can you say, "Mergers and aquisitions, baby!".

Rule #3: Never feed her after midnight, and never get her wet; and most important of all never, ever, ever, tell her about the STD...

Re:@homeattbicomcastdial-up? (2, Informative)

phantumstranger (310589) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730204)

You can try Ameritech [ameritech.com] (SBC?).

I've been with them from pretty much the beginning, 2 years, and while they started off rocky, they seem to have gotten they're stuff together. 768 / 128, which, by some standards, may not be all that great, it's always consistent.

It never ends... But there's some good news. (2)

stienman (51024) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730056)

I started with mediaone, which was bought by comcast. Now comcast is changing our email addresses, saying that they are moving our network off @home, but they were outsourcing tech support to ATT already, so essentially we were paying comcast for @home service and ATT support.

Looks like it's all going right to comcast now though so we may yet have one company providing our service.

On the good side - mediaone did an outstanding job setting up the network here (Ann Arbor cable rebuild) and I peak at 2.2Mb/S - if I'm talking to a fast server. Luckily UofMichigan mirrors all the important distributions and I get them at that speed.

Hopefully comcast will not only not fix it if it's not broken, but they will use this as a model for their other cable services elsewhere. 2.2Mb/S isn't ideal broadband, but it's certianly a step in the right direction.

-Adam

Re:It never ends... But there's some good news. (1)

ShadeEagle (153172) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730123)

but they were outsourcing tech support to ATT already

Who in turn outsource THEIR tech support to the same company who does some FedEx tech support and customer service, among MANY other companies.

I happen to work for the company that is outsourced, and quite frankly - does it really matter if it's outsourced? In fact, AT&T likes our call centre - we do a LOT better than some of the other centres that do tech support for AT&T. And the customers like us too, at least for the better part.

Besides, companies outsourcing customer service and tech support to other companies means that more money can go into providing better service. (At least in theory...)

And lastly, cats and kittens, if you read the story, it's just the cable TV portion of AT&T Broadband. Not the AT&T broadband that does the internet. But I wouldn't doubt that a deal for SOME company to buy out AT&T's Internet business would happen eventually.

Just my 2 cents.

Interesting (2, Interesting)

alsta (9424) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730071)

I think it is very funny (as in peculiar) that mergers like this happen. And once this all ends up being some kind of OmniCorp(tm) people start looking around saying that it is terrible that we have another monopoly. I rather fancy the analogy from Demolition Man, where Taco Bell has become the only survivor of the fast food chains.

Shakedown between AOL/Time Warner and ComCast/AT&T anytime soon? Likely to go on for years and cost tramendous amounts of money. Money that the customer will have to pay once the winner has the monopoly...

Or maybe I am just paranoid and this is all not going to happen. But I think it's interesting nevertheless.

round -n- round she goes... (1)

Maditude (473526) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730097)

I signed up with MediaOne, which shortly thereafter merged with RoadRunner, which in turn followed pretty quickly into "AT&T Broadband". Now it's going to be ComCast? In that time, things have been on a downward trend, in terms of service and reliability, and the support has gone from not-too-bad, to utterly hopeless (especially since they outsourced to that outfit in Canada).

Anyone know if they are going to make further cuts in service? (ie, speeds, usenet feeds, etc)

Who cares about @Home.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2730124)

But it does screw their investors. The same guys that kept going to court to prevent@home from going bankrupt and selling out for less than half of what they are owed. It's going to finicially ruin those poor S.O.B.s. They should have took the $327 Million and ran...Now they'll be lucky to walk away with a dollar.

Microsoft sweetens the pot (1)

NoWhereMan (3539) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730141)

A desire to block AOL Time Warner from winning AT&T's cable unit led software provider Microsoft Corp. to provide financial assistance to both the Comcast bid as well as the bid of competing cable operator Cox Communications Inc.


Is this a version of the 'enemy of my enemy is my friend' rule? It really makes it hard to keep track of these companies with them exchanging stock and securities the way they do.

I must be really lucky... (1, Flamebait)

PeeOnYou2 (539746) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730144)

My local cable provider Midcontinent decided that they would assume the repsonsibility of running the cable service in our state since @home won't be able to do so. Then I hear all you guys bitchin about how your service is going down the tubes. It makes me feel special, because I haven't noticed one change. We had the same speed/reliability before it changed to @home, and will have it after it changes to AT&T because the company here maintains all the stuff. Its great.

For what it's worth... (1, Informative)

tsmit (222375) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730150)

When do you expect to complete the merger with Comcast?
We anticipate that the transition will be completed by nine to 12 months. AT&T Broadband will continue to provide support for your AT&T Broadband Internet service until the merger is complete.

Will my service change in any way?
As an AT&T Broadband Internet customer, you can expect to receive a reliable, fast, always-on connection to the Internet. The changes in our business will not cause service interruptions and, at this time, we anticipate no changes to your service. As we have done in the past, any future changes or enhancements to your service will be announced well in advance.

Will AT&T Broadband Internet move back to the @Home network as a result of the merger with Comcast?
We anticipate no changes to your service. As we have done in the past, any future changes or enhancements to your service will be announced well in advance.

Will my prices increase as a result of this merger?
AT&T Broadband's prices reflect the cost of providing service and operating the business. There are no price increases associated with the announcement of this merger.

Why do you keep changing your brand name?
The Internet business is a rapidly changing and developing industry. Over the past four years, we have worked hard to provide the latest technology and best-in-class service. Companies and brands have changed as there have been mergers, acquisitions and partnerships.

Will my bill change?
Your bill and billing cycle will remain the same for the time being. Any changes to your billing cycle or the appearance of your bill will be announced and explained prior to the change.

Will I have the same contact methods for Customer Care?
Your customer care contacts won't change as a direct result of the planned merger with Comcast. Our Online Customer Support Center will continue to provide chat and e-mail links so you can reach a specialist 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Also, you may call the same phone number for Customer Care, as there are no immediate changes planned for telephone support numbers.

How will you keep me informed of any upcoming changes to my service?
As we have done in the past, any future changes or enhancements to your service will be announced well in advance via your AT&T Broadband Internet e-mail account, direct mail and the Announcements and Updates section of this site.

Will there be any further disruption to my service?
We are committed to providing you with quality and reliable high-speed cable Internet service. The previous disruption to your high-speed cable Internet service was result of Excite@Home's Chapter 11 Bankruptcy filing. There are no planned disruptions to your AT&T Broadband service as a result of the proposed merger.

Will my e-mail address change? What about my personal Web page address?
We do not expect any near-term changes that would effect either your AT&T Broadband Internet e-mail address or your Web page address. Down the road, some changes may be necessary. If that occurs, we will notify you well in advance to address any needed changes.

Will my payment method change?
Your current payment via credit card or billing statement payment process will not change as a result of this merger. We will we will notify you well in advance if there are any changes to your payment method.

If I have AT&T Broadband Internet, will I get Comcast service after the merger?
There are no immediate changes to your AT&T Broadband Internet service. At this time, we do not know any details regarding when you might be able to receive the Comcast service. Unless otherwise notified, you will continue to receive AT&T Broadband Internet as your high-speed cable Internet service.

Will my home page change again?
There are no immediate changes to your AT&T Broadband Internet service.

Will I still be able to use my AT&T Broadband Internet log-in information?
There will be no immediate changes to your AT&T Broadband Internet service. At this time, we do not know any details regarding when you might be able to receive the Comcast service. Unless otherwise notified, you should continue to use your AT&T Broadband Internet username and password. As we have done in the past, any future changes or enhancements to your service will be announced well in advance.

Will the minimum system requirements for my computer change again?
We don't anticipate any changes in the minimum system requirements at this time.

Will you be offering any additional features to the service?
Yes, we have several technical trials and market trials underway right now and expect to announce new features beginning next year.

Does this mean that I will finally be able to get high-speed Internet in my neighborhood? I've been waiting for years. (Will the upgrade be any faster?)
We can't give you a specific timeframe for the introduction of high-speed Internet services in your neighborhood. We're working to introduce the service in as many communities as quickly as we can.

Re:For what it's worth... (-1)

Genghis Troll (158585) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730259)

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Well, that's just great (1)

Doctor Triffid (219273) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730155)

I've just spent the past year pleading with AT&T Broadband to extend their broadband Internet access just another couple of miles. Looks like I'm gonna have to start all over again.

AT&T Broadband cable TV in Boston (2, Informative)

Chris Tucker (302549) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730157)

It both sucks and blows. They rearranged the diverse public interest channels so they could give us, "AT&T 3 - Wicked Cool TV" Comprised of mainly ancient reruns including Gomer Pyle USMC, college football, a home shopping channel they already have on the cable lineup, and as for their "NEWS" well, it looks as if the high school drama club has made the big time.

This summer, I was disconnected on a Tuesday. I called them and after some hemming and hawing on their part, they finally agreed to reconnect me on Friday. I had to call a relative on the state comission that regulates cable TV to get them to move it up a day. I also had this relative get them to credit me for two weeks as recompense for disconnecting me in error. Yes, that's right, AT&T Broadband cut me off in error.

The picture quality on some channels is bad, the volume varies wildly between the satellite programming and locally inserted commercials.

You wait for at least 30 minutes while trying to get someone to answer a phone, oh, and their phone service! Once you've navigated phone menu hell, you listen to crappy music and hear some dweeb tell you to jot down the emergency phone number.

The emergency phone number presents you with exactly the same phone menu hell you get when you dial the regular phone number. And you still wait forever.

Thank Dobbs that the Boston cable TV system has been bought by a real cable TV company.

Someone else can use this here soapbox now.

Okay now, who has the better TOS? (1)

Ececheira (86172) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730167)

Okay... now which of these companies has the best TOS (ie, the most liberal)?

Any predictions about TOS changes for the better or worse?

AT&T in Cash Town (1)

LocoSpitz (175100) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730188)

AT&T is going crazy lately. Trying to buy @Home, dropping @Home, billion dollar mergers. Why? Hopefully they won't decide to raise prices again. They seem to enjoy doing that. Oh yeah, and digital cable TV isn't as good as it sounds.

Of course, I wonder. The article says, "..and leaves AT&T with its shrinking consumer and business long-distance telephone and data operations." Are they TRYING to destroy themselves? Sell a good chunk of the customers! Raise prices! Drop out half our customer's internet service for a week and replace it with slower service! This does not sound like a good company.

Re:AT&T in Cash Town (2, Informative)

aka-ed (459608) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730292)

The article says, "..and leaves AT&T with its shrinking consumer and business long-distance telephone and data operations." Are they TRYING to destroy themselves? Sell a good chunk of the customers! Raise prices! Drop out half our customer's internet service for a week and replace it with slower service! This does not sound like a good company.

AT&T has been aware that its core businesses are shrinking, have been aware for a long time. The big purchase of broadband interests was Michael Armstrong's plan to reposition the company.

But these businesses were purchased at the peak of the Bubble. Much debt accrued. And the Bubble burst. Hence the need to sell, in order to service the debt that is crushing the company. Hence also the need for AT&T to try to price services in a way that will minimize their loss per customer.

You're right, the company is in godawful shape, but if you understand the forces at work, it's not difficult to understand why.

MSFT wins out [bg ingo] (3, Insightful)

Angry Black Man (533969) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730249)

As an ATT Broadband subscriber for TV, Internet, and PHONE, I can say that I have been following this case very closely. To sum up the whole bidding wars: its basically AOL vs. MSFT.

AOL was heavily looking into buying the corp which made MSFT very scared. MSFT's entire coming business plans rely on broadband: .NET, My services, even the Xbox cant be fully used without broadband. Earlier, Bill Gates said he thought the BB market was moving to slowly. If AOL were to get the deal, MSFT's plans would be severly crippled.

MSFT started backing COX and COMCAST in the bidwars. I can say I am thankful that comcast won, even though its basically the least of the two evils (AOL vs. MSFT).

This deal is a lot more important than just ATT. It could play a huge role in both AOL and MSFT's core strategies.

22 Million Customers... (2)

thesolo (131008) | more than 12 years ago | (#2730264)

That's almost twice as many as AOL.

So does this mean AOL will finally change their f!@#ing "No Wonder It's Number 1!!" Slogan?!

If so, that makes this merger fine by me ;)
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