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New Deep Sea Squid

Hemos posted more than 12 years ago | from the where's-peter-benchely dept.

Science 190

texchanchan writes: "Yahoo reports on a newly discovered species of deep-sea squid, quoting scientists as saying the creatures are very different from normal giant squids. 'New species are a dime a dozen. This is fundamentally different' in behavior and appearance -- with 10 identical long skinny arms and a jellyfish-like hunting strategy. 'We don't know of any cephalopod that has arms like that.' --Michael Vecchione of the U.S. National Marine Fisheries Service. 'I had never seen anything like this creature,' oceanographer William Sager of Texas A&M says."

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190 comments

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eerste post?! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736636)

Ik doe het bijna in mijn broekie!

Re:eerste post?! (-1, Offtopic)

cockeater (542284) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736668)

lern mal eine richtige Sprache zu sprechen. erste reply

Hou je bek, jij vuile oma-verkrachter!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736696)

Je kanker moeder!!

Re:Hou je bek, jij vuile oma-verkrachter!! (-1, Offtopic)

cockeater (542284) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736727)

opa-verknaller!

Re:Hou je bek, jij vuile oma-verkrachter!! (-1)

Retarded_One (518093) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736728)

Would you and your al-queda buddies please only use english on slashdot?

Thanks!,
Retarded_One

Re:Hou je bek, jij vuile oma-verkrachter!! (-1, Offtopic)

cockeater (542284) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736737)

eat shit, cockfuck. isst meine lebendige scheisse!

Re:Hou je bek, jij vuile oma-verkrachter!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736753)

oh, du bist supergeil!

Re:Hou je bek, jij vuile oma-verkrachter!! (0)

cockeater (542284) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736770)

ehe. vielleicht brauche ich noch ein red bull.

The Dutch League of Muslim Haters (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736761)

is offended by your comments, Sir.

Slashdot is a safe haven for us ever since people were being fined $100 or more by the Dutch government for posting "racist" comments on nl.politics (with many useless crossposts to be.politics, ofcourse)

EP (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2737146)

Zal ik jou eens even lekker in je bek schijten !?

I r0x0r j00r b0x0rz (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736637)

I am a bad ass, FP machine.

IK ben eerste, jij Angel-Saksische homofiel!! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736645)

Oranje boven!

Quoth the sage... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736642)

'I had never seen anything like this creature,'

Mabbie you should get out more.



FP!

But... (-1)

Klerck (213193) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736643)

...does the squid do anal?

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1

Fuck Mexicans (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736658)

All mexicans are rude and annoying. Get a life, get a job, get some manners!

page lengthening post! (-1)

Klerck (213193) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736660)

page lengthening post! I love lengthening the page.

3 [goatse.cx]
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squidish (5, Interesting)

CordMeyer (452485) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736661)

All squid have ten arms, but 2 are usually much longer & skinnier than the others. It seems this one has them all the same length. the 2 longer tentacles are used for feeding, they shoot them into schools of fish & then retract them. the other 8 are for propulsion.
A Soviet tanker in 1965 came across a battle between a giant squid and a sperm whale that would have weighed around 40 tonnes. The fight continued for some time and finished far below in the depths, beyond the range of the tanker's sonar equipment. About an hour after the sighting the strangled body of the whale was found floating in the ocean. It still had the giant squid wrapped around its body. But the squid did not win - its head was found inside the stomach of the whale!

Re:squidish (3, Interesting)

satanami69 (209636) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736697)

Urban legend? [longman.com.au]

This new squid looks like a half-breed Manta Ray/Squid.

I couldn't get enough of Discovery Channel's Search for the a Giant Squid [discovery.com]

Re:squidish (2)

Ami Ganguli (921) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736792)

The file you reference mentions the story, but doesn't claim it's a myth (it doesn't claim otherwise either).

It sounds like whales prey on the squid, but not vice-versa. It's possible that this particular whale just took a squid that was too large for it.

Re:squidish (1)

Marsh Jedi (244205) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736915)

I saw that, but did not like it.
A caveat for any other documentary fanatics:

Beware all documentaries entitled "Search for the (something)". . .it by and large means that they didn't find it

Re:squidish (2, Funny)

Psiren (6145) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736713)

Mmmmmmm... forbidden squid... aarrrgggg...

Re:squidish (5, Informative)

Rogerborg (306625) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736767)

  • A Soviet tanker in 1965 came across a battle between a giant squid and a sperm whale

Referenced in several places [unmuseum.org] , along with claims that Architeuthis will aggressively attack whales and ships. Bear in mind though, that the beak of an Architeuthis only opens a few inches, and is ill suited to eating anything as large as a human, let alone a 40 ton whale or a 15,000 ton ship!

This new species is certainly unusual (compared to the surface beasties that we're used to), but bear in mind that it's part of a subclass that varies in length from 6mm to 16,000mm (and nearly half a ton, that we know of).

Re:squidish (-1, Flamebait)

roguerez (319598) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737074)

Your sig sounds like something George Bush would say by accident.

Re:squidish (1)

inerte (452992) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736920)

That's a fantastic story, which I got interested and did a little Google search [google.com] .

But from the results you can't tell if it's true :-)

First one will say it's a mith, second it could be true, a few witness reports and more mith saying here and there....

Propulsion? (2, Interesting)

GungaDan (195739) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737068)

Not to question the authority of anyone whose post rated "+5" - just out to satisfy my curiosity: I thought squid moved by water-jet propulsion, squeezing water through the head/body (mantle?) and directing the flow with an articulated "nozzle." How efficient could propulsion by rounded tentacle be, anyway, for a creature that swims in open water, rather than "walking" on the ocean floor?

Re:Propulsion? (3, Informative)

leshert (40509) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737098)

How efficient could propulsion by rounded tentacle be[...]

It doesn't use the tentacles for swimming, according to the story on NPR yesterday. It has a pair of elephant-ear-shaped wings on top of the body, which give it both good speed and fine control, and make it to hover while it's feeding.

Current conjecture is that the tentacles are "sticky" (whether due to a substance or suction mechanisms, they didn't say). One specimen that was actually caught on video seems to be "stuck" to the submersible that was shooting the video, and coudn't easily get free. The squid appears to spread the tentacles much like a spider's web, hoping to snag smal crustaceans that bump into it.

Question? (2, Funny)

digitalunity (19107) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736665)

Yeah, that's neat and all. But how's the calamari [olivegarden.com] ?

Re:Question? (5, Informative)

RFC959 (121594) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737064)

In all seriousness, probably not very good. A lot of large deep-sea squid taste like ammonia [nasa.gov] .

just wait (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736666)

Next thing you know, the town of Miskatonik is going to be a hustling and bustling place.
Then the pods will come and duke it out with the Great Dark Lord. This is pretty cool. First, we had FotR come out this week. Now, Lovecraftian sea beings are being discovered.
At least it wasn't discovered at Innsmouth.

page lengthening post! (-1)

Klerck (213193) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736674)

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this is annoying (-1, Offtopic)

cockeater (542284) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736800)

go back to haqing hotmail accounts and geocities pages, please

squidditch (2, Funny)

hashinclude (192717) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736677)

if at least 14 of these exist :)

Penis? Penis! (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736692)

It broke off again. I keep gluing it back on but it doesn't work...

hell no.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736693)

That's no squid, that right there is an alien spacecraft, they're using the security by obscurity, and hey, where is more obscure than the depths of the ocean? Except for staying home then..

Sashimi chefs are waiting... (3, Funny)

WinAddict (545391) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736704)

...to add the new creature to their menus. Let's have a naming contest for the new sashimi. My entry - decgu.

Re:Sashimi chefs are waiting... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2737100)

Actually, my wife read about this on asahi.com [asahi.com] a few hours before we got it here, and it turns out most Japanese chefs are passing on this idea because they say any sea life at that depth would be too soft and lack any texture.

It's also funny because the Japanese article basically ignores all the interesting bits about sticky tentacles etc. to focus on the culinary benefits. Different priorities, I guess...

Cracken (1)

frankie_guasch (164676) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736712)

Is this the (maybe) myth cracken ?

Re:Cracken (1)

Hektor_Troy (262592) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736794)

Since the Kraken (of norse mythologi) was the sice of a small island, I doubt this tiny creature is the Kraken.

Re:Cracken (1)

krenshala (178676) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737044)

Personally, I think the giant squid is the mythical Kraken, especially as an 80' specimen was found on a California beach a few years ago (late '80s? early '90s? ... mind like a steele sieve ...)

The most plausible explanation (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736719)

Isn't it obvious what this is? It's a spawn of cthulhu! It's not a squid, but an alien monster that protects the Great Old One and works in colaboration with the Deep Ones!

I remember reading about these huge squids as a child. It's really cool to have a genuine mystery here, it's just sad that before long it'll get studied and filmed and explained and I can't hope for the Cthulhu link anymore. ;-)

Did they ever discover any unexplained ruins in the Antarctic or in central Australia?

Re:The most plausible explanation (2, Funny)

sparkyz (256676) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737046)

Actually, it looks less like the spawn of Cthulhu and more like the anal probe Cartman had in South Park season 2. Keep your cows and little brothers indoors.

Re:The most plausible explanation (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2737047)

Don't think you can hide just because you posted Anonymously. We know who you are and where you live.

How sqidish (2, Informative)

teaserX (252970) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736721)

The article is a little light on details. Other than the ten legs nothing else seems to suggest this is a squid. It feeds like a jellyfish, it looks like a jellfish(to me). Radial symetry is characteristic of jellyfish so ten legs of equal lenght don't rule out jellyfish. Nothing is mentioned about the rigidity of the beast which would point in the direction of the squid. Tranceparency (can't tell from the photo) might indicate jellyfish, but not rule out squid, depending on internal structures that might be seen. Based solely on the article I am inclined to decalre it a jellyfish. Perhaps more than five or ten minutes of behavioral observation and a captured specimen to study would be helpful.

Apeal to authority (2)

autopr0n (534291) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736745)

Not be an ass (like I usualy am) but I just want to point out that these marine biologiests probably have a lot more experiance with sea life and more data about this thing then some slashdotter who's read a Yahoo! news artical.

Re:Apeal to authority (1)

teaserX (252970) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736762)

Oh they're biologiests . Well then it must be a squid to be sure.

Re:Apeal to authority (1, Offtopic)

autopr0n (534291) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736865)

What does my ablity to spell have to do with their ablity to classify sea creatures?

Re:Apeal to authority (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736961)

Wait, let me think about it.

Oh yes. Your ability to spell tells a lot about the amount of shit in your brain, and the amount of shit in your brain tells a lot about your ability to classify squids. So there.

Re:Apeal to authority (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2737113)

No, it doesn't if you are dyslectic.

But you wouldn't know anything about that, now would you, you dirty sack of shit?

Re:Apeal to authority (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2737075)

teaserX,

Those who bitch about other users' spelling best be careful for the rest of their lives...

Oh wait... what is this? [slashdot.org] Could it be? Oh yes it is... a post from teaserX where he misspelled something - you fucking dumbass:

teaserX wrote:
>although they might find the barcode scanner to be an odd peripheral for the average home user...

hmmm... maybe thats why I saved all thoses :cue:cats

"thoses"? Retard.

arn

Re:Apeal to authority (1)

Da Masta (238687) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736866)

Who gives a fuck who says what? Fuck marine biologists and and let them say whatever, cause I was thinking the exact same thing. What exactly made them call this a squid, rather than a jellyfish? I'm not questioning the marine biologist's decision, and I dont think TeaserX was either. What I'd like to know is what key differences might I have overlooked that gives us the differences between squid and jellyfish?

And sorry autopr0n, but you were being an ass. I figured slashdot, out of all places, would never question a question of authority. (Jee, it's the RECORD COMPANY that said mp3'z are ill3g4l. I think they know what they are talking about cause they know music! ;-)

Re:Apeal to authority (5, Informative)

Happy go Lucky (127957) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736991)

What exactly made them call this a squid, rather than a jellyfish? I'm not questioning the marine biologist's decision, and I dont think TeaserX was either. What I'd like to know is what key differences might I have overlooked that gives us the differences between squid and jellyfish?

Some very significant differences. They have differentiated tissue-muscles separate from skin, an actual digestive tract, and probably the most-developed nervous system of all of the invertebrates, including eyes structured similarly to ours. Squid also have an actual circulatory system, but something that actually functions almost like a heart. And squids are actually bilaterally symmetrical. In plain English, that means there's one plane down which you can split a squid, and the two parts will be mirror images of each other.

OTOH, jellyfish are like anemones and hydrae. That means they're undifferentiated. Their tissues are only two cells thick, because each cell needs to be exposed to seawater in order to get oxygen or nutrients. They're undifferentiated, meaning they don't have different types of cells. They have no real nervous system at all. Nor do they have a circulatory system. They're radially symmetrical, meaning that any radial section will be pretty much identical to any other.

Re:Apeal to authority (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2737119)

Sorry dude, but mp3z ARE illegal. Now crawl back under the rock you came from.

Re:How sqidish (5, Informative)

CottonEyedJoe (177704) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737015)

A cursory examination of the photo would reveal to nearly ANY biologist (marine or not, though my experience is in marine invertebrates) that this is NOT a scyphozoan ("Jellyfish"), or even a Cnidarian (supergroup containing jellyfish, corals, anemone's, hydras etc...) If you really didnt want to believe this is a squid, you might suppose it is a tentacled ctenophore (comb jelly which most people have never heard of but are really quite common).

From looking at the picture the animal appears to "fly" using its two HUGE fins (the fins are squid features). The mantle (head covering) is very narrow at the dorsal end (the end at the top of the picture Note to those who know what dorsal means: YES this IS the dorsal side of a squid...) while being fairly broad at the ventral side to accomodate (we presume) the mouth and organs.

The features of this animal are not at all un-squidlike, using occams razor and the BIOLOGICAL features of the animal (not just the way it looks to some shmo) its easy to hypothesize that this is a squid.

Take a look at the Pteropod Sea Angel (Clione) [jellieszone.com] and tell me its a snail. When you can do that successfully come back and comment on this animal. (Note to others: Clione is VERY VERY cool, take a look at the pics if this /. story interested you)

Re:How sqidish (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2737082)

Of course it has squid features. It certainly ins't a jellyfish, but it does have unsquid like characteristics also. If you want to pick some characteristics (the fins) as more important than others (equal length tapered tentacles), fine. Unless one is captured it's stupid to try making a definate classification.


ps Why should I be impressed when one /. kiddie can be condescending to another? Instead of pretending to be an omniscent expert, why not just make your point as well as possible?

Re:How sqidish (1)

leshert (40509) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737125)

Unless one is captured it's stupid to try making a definate classification.

Aha... but one has been captured, or some some scientists think. According to the NPR report yesterday there is a small squid in a jar in (IIRC) the Smithsonian. The gent who wrote the article in Science this month is hypothesizing that it may be a juvenile of the same species as the large squid that has been captured on video.

Re:How sqidish (1)

Shook (75517) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737127)

You might have noticed in the article that they have found juvenile specimens of this creature. I was hearing an interview with one of the scientists on the radio. He said they had a pickled specimens of a 6-inch baby in the Smithsonian. So I'm assumming they have used that actual specimen to determine it is a squid, and not a jelly.

Remember how diverse cephalapods are. They include everything from garden slugs, to oysters, to giant squids.

I wonder... (0, Offtopic)

Bowie J. Poag (16898) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736724)



I wonder how long it will be before Microsoft sues the squid.

Just imagine... (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736731)

a beowolf cluster of these babies... with some wasabi

Commercial (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736871)

Wasabi!

New squid? (1, Offtopic)

Zocalo (252965) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736738)

Does anyone know how this new squid is going to help my web cache performance, and where are the changelog and download URLs?

Deep Sea the second to last frontier... (4, Informative)

Merik (172436) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736747)

Considering that the earth 90% water and how little we have catalouged the deep sea, its going to be interestig to see what we find...

The deep sea pages [whitman.edu] at Whitman College have some cool pictures of wierd deep sea creatures.

The Beastiary [pbs.org] at NOVA also has a decent rundown of whats down there.

Re:Deep Sea the second to last frontier... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736963)

The Beastiary

Mmmm, sounds hot! But the firewall at work won't let me see porn sites!

Re:Deep Sea the second to last frontier... (2, Informative)

kiwimate (458274) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737005)

The earth [is] 90% water

??

I thought it was 70% water.

Bugger...that global warming effect really is playing havoc.

Re:Deep Sea the second to last frontier... (2)

SuiteSisterMary (123932) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737072)

70 percent of the surface of the eart is blue and wet. If you take all of the material on the earth, to a depth of however many miles down the top layer of the earth is, you'll find that 90 percent of that material is water. I think.

Link w/Video (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736751)

Here is a Link with video [nationalgeographic.com] . Didn't test it though as I don't have the required Realplayer at work.

Re:Link w/Video (2, Funny)

Merik (172436) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736756)

moves like something out of the Abyss(the movie)

Not a squid (3, Redundant)

Nephrite (82592) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736758)

As far as I can tell, this is not a squid but rather a new kind of jellyfish.

Here is my reasons

  1. All tentacles are of same size
  2. They are getting thinner at the end and there is no visible suckers on them
  3. The whole thing is radially symmetric except the two big 'wings' which are attached to the sides of its tube-like body
  4. No eyes visible
  5. As the article itself states the thing uses jellyfish hunting strategy
  6. The thing seems a bit transparent but there is no internal organs visible

So judging from what I just said, it could be a Hydrozoa family jellyfish or considering the 'wings' a Ctenophora family jellyfish.

That's it. Maybe I'm wrong but those are the first thing that came to my mind when I saw the photo.

Disclaimerthe above is just an assumption based on high school zoology course I took about ten years ago and of course may be incorrect

Re:Not a squid (4, Informative)

markj02 (544487) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736802)

These things apparently can move quite fast and in a coordinated way. That goes way beyond what jellyfish are capable of. A biologist looking at a moving video image would be very unlikely to confuse the two, and I suspect lots of expert marine biologists have looked at them.

Re:Not a squid (1)

the_2nd_coming (444906) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736990)

who is to say that a Jelly fish can not evolve to move like that?

lets see, which one has less evolving to do, a squid to a jelly ish or a jelly fish to a squid?

the Jelly fishes have it.

Re:Not a squid (5, Funny)

archen (447353) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737116)

It seems to me like there are a lot of people chasing their tails around about whether it's a squid or a jellyfish. Well if it doesn't really fit into either category, doesn't mean that it is something ELSE? God forbid we have to change the books.

Therefore I propose:

half squid + half jellyfish = Jellysquish

Re:Not a squid (2)

Marsh Jedi (244205) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736901)

Uh, I would trust the scientists, dude.

Yeah, from the video alone, you could be right, but a quick look at one would probably scream chordate-- CNS, circulatory system, etc.

Once you've got that, a cephalopod starts looking like your only option.

C'mon. A Nautilus is pretty fsck'd up looking too--it looks like a bad guy from Metroid more than anything else.

Re:Not a squid (1)

the_2nd_coming (444906) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737066)

so I assume you trust news reporters too, eh?

I will wait until they catch one and can do a full taxonomic study before I accept any statment on what it is.

Re:Not a squid (4, Insightful)

RFC959 (121594) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737144)

All tentacles are of same size
This would not necessarily be unique to this squid. Vampyroteuthis infernalis [nhm.ac.uk] (OK, not technically a "squid", but a cephalopod) appears to have eight arms of equal length, until you examine it very closely. (As a side note, Vampyroteuthis is ugly [compuserve.com] as sin [nhm.ac.uk] .) Then again, we barely know what this thing is yet. Vampyroteuthis was originally thought to be an octopus, and is considered to have rather jellyfish-like behavior, and ended up getting put in its own taxonomic category, so the magnapinnidae could be something in their own class too.

As for "no eyes visible" and "transparent"...we've got one not-very-good photo; the scientists say they videotaped it for up to ten minutes. I think I'll go with their judgement. Besides which eyelessness is not unknown among deep-sea creatures either, like the hagfish. So, an eyeless, mostly symmetric squid that behaves like a jellyfish...it would be a weird squid, but it could still be one.

Re:Not a squid (1)

axolotl_farmer (465996) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737164)

It looks like a Cephalopod to me

1: If this is an ancient group, maybe the two longer arms on squid are a specialization.

2: Well, ordinary squid tentacles does get thinner toward the ends too.

3: Most jellyfish have several more than 10 tentacles. The two 'wings' looks like the same structure are the fins on squid and cuttlefish to me. There are other squid that have 10 equally long arms, the Belemnoidea.

Read more about Cephalopods at http://phylogeny.arizona.edu/tree/eukaryotes/anima ls/mollusca/cephalopoda/coleoidea/coleoidea.html [arizona.edu]

I am a biologist, but not a marine biologist. I do hope someone catches one of these creatures. Wonder what its closest relatives (among other Cephalopods)are...

does this mean.. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736759)

One can now measure magnetic fields
gradients at the bottom of the sea ?

Movie of it moving... (5, Informative)

Merik (172436) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736764)

watch it swim [nationalgeographic.com]

(requires realplayer)

Picture of "new" squid (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736775)

Here's a picture of the new squid: http://www.moviesmotherfucker.com/gcswap.jpg

!0 miles away on the same coast line... (0)

Thaidog (235587) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736791)

...she said: "he had his arms all over me... he just wouldn't let go... A completely unrelated issue, of course.

We live in interesting times. (2)

Apuleius (6901) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736797)

First underwater ruins are found, now
new forms of squid.. Apropos, any news
from the boys at McMurdo Station?

Re:We live in interesting times. (1)

SQL Error (16383) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736839)

Could it be? [geocities.com]

Slashdot fthagn! Ia Slashdot! Ia! Ia!

News for nerds, squid that matter (1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736798)

Is this news? If I had wanted information about the latest squid releases, I would have gone to freshsquid [freshsquid.com] .

Re:News for nerds, squid that matter (1)

btrain (235160) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737124)

I think freshsquid.com would be for the download.
For the stuff that matters you need to go to squiddot.org

Porkin' my little sister! (-1)

The WIPO Troll (267426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736824)

By The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org] , $Revision: 1.1 $

What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.

Thanks, Fark.com [fark.com] !

________________________________________
$Id: pedo-jokes.html,v 1.1 2001/12/20 05:24:25 wipo Exp $
Copyright © 2001
The WIPO Troll [slashdot.org] . Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all he's done to make Slashdot a better place.

Well, it's not Microsoft (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736826)

Of, course Microsoft is not like anything I know of either.

This is what happens... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2736829)

This is what happens to those sponge toys that you flush down the toilet.

Iron Chef (0, Offtopic)

invid (163714) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736900)

I saw Morimoto make a sashimi using one of those. The challanger fought back with a daring squid fondu, but to no avail. Once again, the Iron Chef reigned supreme!

How long before.... (3, Funny)

SonnicJohnny (321966) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736948)

we get to see this on Iron Chef?

Doesn't this look like.. (1)

CamelTrader (311519) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736957)

Does anyone else notice the startling similarity between this beast and an Alien face-hugger? I sure as hell ain't goin' deep sea divin any time soon. Just as long as none of those researching fools try to bring one back to "study" it...

If they have not cought it yet...... (2)

the_2nd_coming (444906) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736972)

Then how the hell do they know it is a squid?

it looks like a squid(sort of) but it acts like a jelly fish.......

what if it is a deep sea Jelly fish? jelly fish can grow to be 23 feet, perhaps this jelly fish developed a look like a squid because that shape is the best to have for such depths...I mean a normal Jelly fish would be crushed under the pressure so why not evelve a body structure like that.

and as for Giant squid, I am still waiting for a live adult to be cought, so far only dead ones have been washed up and the tails of british sailers from WWII is all we have as evidence that they do come to the surface
(in WWII british sailers had red Life vests, on one ship, after the germans sunk it, a good 10 or so sailers were taken by Giant squid right from the life boats!!)

Re:If they have not cought it yet...... (5, Funny)

JCCyC (179760) | more than 12 years ago | (#2736997)

Then how the hell do they know it is a squid?

They telnetted into its port 3128.

Mmmmm... Sushi (3, Funny)

swagr (244747) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737008)

...These are [a] real mystery ... no one has captured one ... This is well beyond a new species ... do not act or look like other squid ... We don't know of any cephalopod that has arms like that ..."

So why are they still calling it a squid?

Speak for yourselves scientists! (2)

simpleguy (5686) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737010)

"Large Squid Baffles and Amuses Scientists"

" Fishermen are scared out there. I don't think 'amused' is the word I'd choose to describe it! "

As would say President Whitmorre to Dr Okum.

Well an encounter with such a puppy at sea certainly would not amuse *me* :)

I know the sea is a strange place but... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2737065)

"quoting scientists as saying the creatures are very different from normal giant squids"(my emphasis)

WTF?

Something just doesn't seem right about that sentence...

Nickelodeon... (2, Insightful)

diesel_jackass (534880) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737092)

So does this mean that SpongeBob will have to go jellyfishing for Squidward now?

SpongeBob [spongebob.com]

Hmmmm. (3, Funny)

Thaddeus (14369) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737103)

They mostly come at night. Mostly...

Hold on... (1)

Uttles (324447) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737134)

10 arms? I only saw 6... am I blind or something?

First Contact (2)

cybrpnk (94636) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737140)

This creature is really an alien astronaut from the oceans of Europa [space.com] ....

More Videos (2, Informative)

CITAnonymous (522310) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737160)

Here is the original article from Science magazine.

http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/294/5 55 1/2505

And here are more videos on Science's website.

http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/294/5 55 1/2505/DC1

These are from Science's new Brevia section, which includes some quite interesting and readable articles.

http://www.sciencemag.org/content/current/#brevi a

Working URLs to Science (1)

CITAnonymous (522310) | more than 12 years ago | (#2737191)

Article [sciencemag.org]

Videos [sciencemag.org]

Brevia [sciencemag.org]

Load More Comments
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