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Name The MySql Dolphin

Hemos posted more than 12 years ago | from the not-willy dept.

Linux 367

JayBonci writes: "In case you all missed it, everyone's favorite database engine, mysql is having the name the mySql dolphin contest, and everyone is invited. Nothing like a million suggestions to choose from to help them out. Not only that, but it might be a good time to help them choose a better name than some other attempts at open marketing submissions." Bill! Thom! Nguyen! Samwise! Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate!

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367 comments

I name this dolphin.... (3, Funny)

phyberop (535162) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809574)

... flipper. Seems like the obvious choise ;)

Re:I name this dolphin.... (1)

JohnHegarty (453016) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809580)

Why does it not suprise me that was the First Post.....

Re:I name this dolphin.... (1)

phyberop (535162) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809609)

it had to be said.
the rest of the thread can contain some actual information now that that is out of the way.

Re:I name this dolphin.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809625)

The thread is called "name the dolphin"... i don't see the there anything left to post after this one..

Re:I name this dolphin.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809798)

Before attempting to come up with a name, do some research:

Here. [dolphinsex.org]

Re:I name this dolphin.... (2, Funny)

Bob McCown (8411) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809651)

or better yet... [okstate.edu]

Re:I name this dolphin.... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809673)

$18.00 USD for a fucking t-shirt?
You should tell cafepress their base prices are outrageous, and find another t-shirt press.

Re:I name this dolphin.... Ecco - Will Sega sue? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809730)

Eh, name is Ecco, just for the fun of it... (better than "Flipper" IMO)

How about... (-1, Interesting)

ringbarer (545020) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809744)

"Cripple", which describes MySQL's performance as an ACID compliant database perfectly. Why do people bother with that unreliable pile of shit when Postgres is freely available too?

Postgres!!! (1)

mr.nobody (113509) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809588)

Er...uh...wait a minute...

Nobody (1)

dago (25724) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809611)

Don't you wanna go where nobody knows your name

or because nobody's perfect ?

Re:Postgres!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809693)

Well, PostgreSQL may not be the most popular, but it the best!

Re:Postgres!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809714)

but it the best!

Please do not judge PostgreSQL by my bad speleeng

SQueaL (5, Funny)

kitts (545683) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809591)

Not bad, eh? EH?

Re:SQueaL (1)

Toe, The (545098) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809623)

Indeed, that's the only inspired one so far.

So would that be "my SQueaL?"

Re:SQueaL (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809677)

Only if you dont use lube...

Re:SQueaL (1)

Lord Puppet (300347) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809687)

In my company we're already in the habit of calling pgsql "pigsqueal".



I just wish they would have a "Name the RDBMS" contest. The name MySQL is terrible. Combine that with "PHP"... yuk.

I name it.. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809597)

Blow Job, since MySQL sucks so much..

Chicken of the Sea? (3, Funny)

wiredog (43288) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809603)

Or "Starkist"?

Re:Chicken of the Sea? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809709)

"Chicken of the Sea? There's no chicken in the sea! Fish in the sea, chicken on the land!" - Seinfeld, I'm telling you for the last time.

Call it "page lengthening post!" (-1)

Klerck (213193) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809618)

Don't forget to add me [slashdot.org] to your foes list! Fags!

Back by unpopular demand, more random number crapflooding!

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call it what it is. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809624)

an erection with fins.

I did it on porpoise! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809627)

MyDolphin seems fairly obvious.

Here ya go... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809630)


Flipperdijibit...

uhhhhhhhh (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809635)

In case you all missed it, everyone's favorite database engine, mysql...

Hardly. Why this would be anybody's favorite is a mystery to me and the rest of us.

I suggest... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809638)

Loser McLosedata. Tried /. recently?

How about GameCube? (2, Funny)

Uttles (324447) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809640)

...er, wait, Nintendo already took that path...


(intended as humor, please don't flame me oh mighty moderators)

zanzibar buck-buck mcfate? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809642)

what the fuck?

Re:zanzibar buck-buck mcfate? (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809774)

Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate is from a Dr. Seuss book. Hemos has two kids, and at least one of them is at the Dr. Seuss age.

Hahaha (-1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809643)

How about Zippy, "the Tons o' Missing Features, We're Not Even A Real RDBMS, More Like A SQL Interface To Perl DB" Dolphin? It's catchy, and true!

My company uses Oracle, DB2, and SQL Server. Why hasn't VA Linux^H^H^H^H^HSoftware bought a real database for Slashdot? Oh, wait [yahoo.com] ... sorry. Well, I guess it's not like a gay Linux weblog needs data integrity.

Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's, dead at 69 (-1)

Tasty Beef Jerky (543576) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809649)

Dave Thomas, Innovator, Businessman, and Fast Food Icon, was found dead in his house Tuesday morning. He was 69 years old.

Dave Thomas was best known as the founder of the Wendy's fast food chain, which has gone on to become the #3 fast food chain in the nation. He was the last of a breed of CEOs that was not afraid to step in front of the camera. Like Lee Iacocca and Victor Kiam before him, Dave used his face and his friendly demeanor to sell his burgers. In 1989, things were not going well for Wendy's, and a change was needed. Dave stepped up to the plate and put his very image on the line for his restaraunts. The public responded quickly, and they repsonded favoribly.

Dave will no longer be waiting for us behind the counter. Dave Thomas, dead of liver cancer at age 69.

The Washington Post [washingtonpost.com] contributed to this report.

Name that Dolphin (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809654)

Tuna!!!

Yes I know it is wrong but it might just work.

Humpy (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809684)

I don't care what they say, that dolphin is definitely doing something unnatural to the rest of the logo. "Humpy" or "Frisky" are my votes.

Oh Great! (5, Funny)

mESSDan (302670) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809696)

First, they name the dolphin. Next, we get mandatory addons for MySQL that popup a cartoonish animation of the newly named dolphin everytime we click on something in the menu.

Then they're going to record some dolphin sounds, so everytime we do anything in MySQL, we get to hear "eeeeee-eEeeEeeEee eeeeeEEeeeee"

(popup)"Do you want to know about 'Primary Key'? eeEEEeeeeeeeee-eEEEEEeeeeeeE!"

Ahh heck, lets just call it Clippy. Hmm. Or maybe Tuna. Yeah.

the SQL dolphin... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809698)

Crashy? Pissy? Fitty?

A few to throw out... (-1, Interesting)

TRoLLaXoR (181585) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809705)

1. the typical "Flipper"
2. Ecco [probably protected by TM by whomever developed the game]
3. Hydro [water]
4. Dolly [popular animal name, illiteration [sic] with "Dolphin]

and, #5...

MISSY the MYSQL DOLPHIN

Dont' be like SuSE (4, Funny)

cloudmaster (10662) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809706)

SuSE certainly got a bunch of good names for their chameleon a while back, but decided that the worst entry should win. "Geeko?" Please MySQL folk, for the love of Pete, don't pick the dorkiest name possible... :)

MySQL (3, Insightful)

Refrag (145266) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809716)

Why the hell do all open source applications have an animal mascot?

Re:MySQL (5, Funny)

kitts (545683) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809763)

Why the hell do all open source applications have an animal mascot?

Quiet you. What would you rather? Paperclips?

The obvious choice (2, Funny)

TheWhiteOtaku (266508) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809725)

The obvious choice is Samuel McSamuelson. No reason, it's just a funny sounding name.

Re:The obvious choice (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809771)

Well fuck you.

-- Samuel McSamuelson

I think they should go with... (5, Funny)

Hugh Kir (162782) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809727)

CowboyNeal. This would grant the dolphin instant name recognition within the geek community, and would save space on the "What's your favorite open source mascot?" Slashdot poll.

How about... (0, Redundant)

pr0nbot (313417) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809733)

TUNA

The people who make our canned tuna don't distinguish between tuna and dolphin, why should we?

Target demographic error (5, Funny)

CaptainAlbert (162776) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809736)

From the competition website:

> If your suggestion wins, you will receive three
> custom-made T-shirts with the message 'I named
> the MySQL Dolphin' as well as a Palm IIIC with
> Camera. Three T-shirts, because when one shirt
> is in the laundry, you still have two other
> shirts to wear!

This kinda presupposes that the sort of people who hack MySQL actually *do* any laundry :)

Ecco (1, Redundant)

Apreche (239272) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809740)

or slippy or sqlippy or just combine the words database and dolphin in some manner

My suggestion... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809745)

After my experiences installing and using MySQL (this is on windows machines), I hereby declare that that colphin shall be called "fucky".

willly? (1)

fenux (193823) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809748)

and they could make 5 or 6 movies about them called free willy(i can see it before my eyes, about a dolphin that's captured by an evil man, and rescued by a kid and the dolphin could do al kinds of tricks, but then again , this sound so familiar)

Two bad ones (1)

IPFreely (47576) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809752)

OK, either Myron or Mike Weary.

MySQL -> My-Run -> Myron

MySQL -> My-Query -> Mike Weary

OK, I said they were bad. Get over it.

The dolphin's gotta go (1)

sparkyz (256676) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809754)

As the dolphin is of the family Delphinidae, it's almost inevitable that Borland will come rolling up with a lawsuit soon.

How about Fux? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809758)

Does that sound okay? I rather like it myself.

database? (1)

-ryan (115102) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809764)

everyone's favorite database engine, mysql


I think you mean "glorified file system".

I lot of geeks use mysql, right? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809772)

Perhaps "Milky" the Dolphin?

Seaquest DSV (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809779)

I'm amazed no one has suggested Darwin yet :)

Although Apple probably wouldn't be too thrilled with that.

qmail ! (2)

cperciva (102828) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809801)

After all, the dophin has been qmail's mascot since qmail-1.00 in February 1997.

Like it or not, DJB claimed the dophin first... what would people say if Microsoft started using a Penguin as mascot and held a naming contest?

Screw MySQL... (5, Funny)

dasmegabyte (267018) | more than 12 years ago | (#2809803)

does the PostgreSQL elephant have a name? I vote for "stampy."

Seriously, though, what kind of a logo is a dolphin for a database? When I think of dolphins, I think of these unreliable, playful creatures that basically live the life of riley, eating fish and playing tricks on sailors all day long. Whereas an elephant...well, they never forget, do they?

dM

hahahaHA (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2809804)

For all the talk about standards in the Cheap Software "community," I'm amazed that anyone puts up with a database so crappy that it doesn't even implement the SQL92 standard. But hey, as long as you're going without transactional rollback, stored procedures, triggers, foreign keys, and views, I guess it doesn't matter too much in the long run. Trust me, it doesn't -- anyone who is using MySQL doesn't know shit about databases to begin with, so as long as they don't know what they're missing, who cares? Have ever brought up MySQL to a professional DBA? Well, chances are that he hasn't heard of it, but if he has, he'll probably just start laughing at you. Using MySQL to store data is like using x86 hardware and Linux on a server: it's fine if you're some Open Sores zealot losers with no other alternative, but then again it isn't as if your data are particularly valuable, eh?

I just love the section from the MySQL manual in which MySQL is compared to other database products. Note that they only chose to use mSQL and PostgreSQL in the comparison -- because to compare MySQL to a real database product would take an entire book, not just a couple of pages. Sure, MySQL is great for a guestbook on your GeoCities "here r pictures uv my kats!" homepage, but some of us have millions of dollars and multiple terabytes of corporate data that we need stored, indexed, and queried. Oracle and DB2 are both up to the job, have proven performance/stability track records on multiple platforms, come with gigabytes of support tools and graphical administration/programming tools, and are backed by professionals. Even SQL Server, running on Windows/x86, blows MySQL away with its remote administration capabilities alone, not to mention its speed and reliability.

In conclusion, I think it's sad that Slashdot pays so much attention to MySQL. It's a testament to the fact that most of you are amateur hacks.

Thank you!

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