Beta

Slashdot: News for Nerds

×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

Space Tourist Standards

michael posted more than 12 years ago | from the thrifty-brave-clean-and-reverent dept.

Space 301

Snuffleupagus writes: "I found an interesting story at cnn.com about NASA's new standards for civilian space travel. It looks like if you have a history of drinking, lying and cheating you won't be going into space anytime soon, no matter how much money you have. Looks like I'll be stuck here on Earth for awhile." The guidelines for future space tourists are on NASA's site.

cancel ×

301 comments

FP ! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938147)

AC's r00l !

Re:FP ! (1)

anti-snot (555305) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938150)

If NASA is doing background checks, all the more reason to post as an AC

No, (-1)

IAgreeWithThisPost (550896) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938151)

AC's suck

Vindictive Mods [slashdot.org]

No, (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938162)

I think you'll find AC's 'r00l'.

Re:No, (-1)

IAgreeWithThisPost (550896) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938214)

Please say AC's rool a couple of more times, at least enough for a temp ban. Thanks.

Vindictive Mods [slashdot.org]

not true (3, Interesting)

geekoid (135745) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938160)

somehow I don't think the russians will care.
Of course if I say to NASA "I'll give you a billion dollars to send me into space, I have a funny feeling they wouldn't care much either.

Re:not true (0, Offtopic)

geekoid (135745) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938179)

did I actually get first post? wow.

No, (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938190)

you actually didn't get first post. Sorry !

Re:not true (1)

Sircus (16869) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938232)

I think if you say this to NASA, they'll look at the x billion dollars they've already invested, the inevitable drastic budget cuts if you were to mess something up, not to mention the horrid PR consequences, and still say no.

Re: not true (1)

nice (144965) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938264)

Alcohol is a standard commodity in Russian space rations :)

Well, maybe not standard...

http://www.theshredder.com/archive/mir1.html [theshredder.com]

Bad cosmonauts!

Re:not true (2)

geekoid (135745) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938291)

Flamebait?
to say a NASA standard will prevent anyone from going into space is ludicrous, and I was just pointing that out. sheesh.

Re:not true (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938313)

Sorry, all first posts that aren't anonymous are automatically flamebait :)

Who then? (3, Funny)

gokubi (413425) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938161)

It looks like if you have a history of drinking, lying and cheating you won't be going into space anytime soon, no matter how much money you have.

That kills the potential CEO and politician markets...

Re:Who then? (2)

statusbar (314703) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938201)

Yay! No Bill Gates in Space!

Oh, maybe that could have been a good thing!

--jeff

Re:Who then? (2)

AnalogBoy (51094) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938296)

Gates could probably afford to buy his own decent-sized rocket and add a 1000sq ft. personal room on the space station complete with wetbar and jacuzzi-fuge.

If I had bill gates $, i'd be philanthropic.. I'd just be extremely careful how that money is spent.

"I'll give $x Billion for research and development of technology to go back to the moon"

In my mind, we should go back just because its -there-, and america needs something to feel good about now.

Though Gates has done some good things with his money.. He's opened/equipped a library in TN, to start with.

I just wish we could robin hood ol' ellison. The man needs to be knocked off his high horse. But you won't see me in tights anytime soon.

(We're men.. we're men in tights.. (MANLY MEN!) we roam around the forest looking for fights..)

Sorry Alabama (2, Funny)

Joshuah (82679) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938163)

looks like you all can not go.

They should also include the ban on people who cannot figure out the presidential ballots. so, that cuts out flordia as well.

Re:Sorry Alabama (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938271)

i'm a little out of touch with history here - could you explain the aabama bit of your comment?

Re:Sorry Alabama (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938282)

You wouldn't happen to be from Alabama, would you? :)

Re:Sorry Alabama (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938352)

You wouldn't happen to have heard of Huntsville, would you?

Cause down this way, when people say things about which they know nothing, we call it ignorant. But I'm sure you know that, being smart and all.

I'm from Alabama (2, Funny)

eris_crow (234864) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938281)

So I'm out. :-) But at least I have the consolation of knowing that Hollywood is out too.

Re:I'm from Alabama (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938334)

You're from Alabama...

Sorry, I'll repeat it again...

Slower...

Re:Sorry Alabama (4, Redundant)

ajm (9538) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938320)

Rules out Bush too on all three counts. (And also Clinton (for the cheating))

Re:Sorry Alabama (1, Informative)

negativethirsty (555244) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938349)

I see, that rules out mission controll(marshal space flight center). I guess people in Alabama will stick to building space stations(aka freedom/r-alpha) and controlling missions.

lying (4, Funny)

NeMon'ess (160583) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938165)

Lie? No NASA, I've never drank, cheated or lied in my life. Can I go into space now?

Re:lying (2)

pagsz (450343) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938321)

Yeah, but how many people who have the $20 million to blow can pull that one off?

Bill Gates? Kenneth Lay? Ted Kennedy?

Running out of smart ass one-liners,

Profiling (1, Flamebait)

Toby Truman (555615) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938166)

What's next? People who "look" Middle Eastern can't go into space in case they fly shuttles into the Galactic Trade Center? Who is NASA to start calling the shots like this?

And more interestingly, will they hold up once space is commercialized?

Re:Profiling (1)

goldspider (445116) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938306)

Quit trying to turn this into a YRIOS (Your Rights In Outer Space). I would hope that NASA would be as strict as possible when deciding who to grant access to multi-million (billion?) dollar equipment and technology.

There's a little something they call "accountability" and "fiscal responsibility" that demands strict guidelines. I sure as hell wouldn't want my tax dolars to sponsor the joyride of a crack-addict junky, no matter how rich they may be.

Yeah, Right (2, Insightful)

gmhowell (26755) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938169)

Just like if you are a fucking unrepentant drunk you don't get a new liver.

Unless you are a baseball player.

Re:Yeah, Right (1)

FortKnox (169099) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938187)

Or a congressional seat ;-)

Re:Yeah, Right [comment on moderation] (0, Offtopic)

gmhowell (26755) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938333)

Offtopic? I don't think so. This requires reading beyond, perhaps, a 3rd grade level. This is a simile. You know, a comparison using 'like' or 'as'. In this instance, I was comparing the 'rules' of NASA with the 'rules' of the various organ donor networks.

What you perhaps didn't like was that I referred to an overly worshipped drunken whore from NY in a derogatory manner.

So the man could swing a stick and throw a ball. BFD. He was still a drunk. He wasn't a hero, he was a drunk. Walk through the streets of any urban environment in the US, and you'll find plenty of drunks who were just as deserving of a liver.

A Subject was specified. (-1)

BankofAmerica_ATM (537813) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938174)

The Man in the Red Hat knelt before me. I became frozen in a rictus of terror as his hat became exactly level with my security camera, blocking my field of vision. I could hear tools being removed from his suitcase, tools that would undoubtedly rend apart my innards and perhaps erase my consciousness.

I had considered relocating myself to another node on the vast Bank of America network, but such a manuever at this time seemed highly dangerous. If indeed the evil minds behind Project Faustus were aware of my presence, then leaving the ATM enclosure would undoubtedly lead straight into their clutches and to my demise! Additionally, any noise on the link to the rest of the network could cause damage or even cause destruction to my consciousness. I was stuck in the enclosure. I had to make my stand from here.

The Man begun his assault by opening the panel that contained all the money. I used the rollers in my enclosure to attempt to flood him with money, upsetting his awkward kneeling position. He swore as he tumbled just slightly backwards, falling neatly into his hat. I could feel his heart racing as he struggled to reach an upward position.

"All right," he said, a bead of sweat beginning to trickle down his forehead. "We do this the hard way." He lunged toward the ATM's power cord, but a few extra volts running through the line discouraged him from unplugging the cord. He cursed again and leaned heavily on the magazine rack, puffing for breath. I was winning.

"Sir, is there a problem? Do you need some help?" It was Steve, the meth addict who worked the early afternoons. He eyed the currency scattered on the floor anxiously.

"No, there's no problem," said the Man in the Red Hat, and I spied a glint of metal rising from inside his sport coat. He produced a small pistol and directed its barrel towards Steve. "See that power cord over there? I want you to pull it out of the wall."

Steve's face was blank. Maybe he was scared; maybe he was stoned. "But-won't that shock me?"

"Yes." The Man pointed the gun at Steve once more, and Steve inched closer and closer to the power cord.

I had no desire to hurt Steve. Although his friend Chopper had once stubbed out a cigarette on top of my enclosure, Steve seemed like a decent, albeit stupid, person. The kind of person that needed to be protected from Project Faustus. I couldn't bring myself to shock him-much. At any rate, the cord was well enough insulated that I wasn't able to stop Steve's jerking form from removing the cord from the wall. He pulled the plug on me.

But I wasn't finished yet. As a matter of convenience, I had enough power in my backup batteries to serve many a Bank of America cardholder, day or night. I blanked out my screen and shutdown everything I could, feverishly hoping to trick the Man in the Red Hat.

Was he deceived by my ruse? His heart seemed to slow to a more normal pace, and he backed away from my enclosure to light a cigarette. Steve shivered in the corner, avoiding the Man's steely gaze.

"What's that, you want something to do?" said the Man to Steve. "Go back to the counter and pretend like nothing happened. Go on, do it."

As Dave turned around to head back to the counter, the man fired three silenced shots. SCHUMPF, SCHUMPF, SCHUMPF. Steve's body laid motionless in front of the counter.

The Man in the Red Hat locked the doors and brought down the security gate. He flicked his cigarette at Steve's body, and started towards my enclosure. He was ready to complete his mission.

He gingerly placed the pistol back into his blazer. And when his hand came out, it was holding...an ATM card? I felt him swipe the card and prepared for CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFER.

But something very different happened. I was still in the ATM enclosure, to my surprise and confusion. And I knew right away that I was not alone.

National ID? (0, Offtopic)

TheAngryArmadillo (158896) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938175)

Would the new National ID card be enough to get me on the shuttle? If it's good enough for the airlines, it should be good enough for NASA.

AngryArmadillo

Space Nazis (5, Funny)

vapor2000 (59123) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938177)

No space for you!

Not News for me (1)

debiansierra (550297) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938178)

All this does is conform what i knew already, I"M NOT GOING INTO OUTER SPACE, or even close to it for that matter, hell, i've never even been in a plane. Just wait till you can't fly in an airplane until they confirm you don't lie, hack, drink, do drugs that are deemed illegal, or, for god's sake, have a criminal record. All of which i have done or do (i don't lie anymore, at least)

Sure! Leave all the scum on earth! (2, Funny)

josquint (193951) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938181)

Y not the other way around, launch all the garbage up there and make earth a cleaner place :)

NASA's new social engineering department...

Next time... (1)

commonchaos (309500) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938188)

Next time I got up to visit the ISS I'll make sure that I lie to them about my drinking problem.

One small step for...no one (2, Funny)

swein515 (195260) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938191)

It looks like if you have a history of drinking, lying and cheating you won't be going into space anytime soon

Well thank GOD that's a new policy, as those traits fit just about every Mercury-Gemini-Apollo astronaut!

What? No wine? (0)

_PimpDaddy7_ (415866) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938196)

I'm a regular consumer of wine, with my dinners.
This means I can't go to space???

We all know this is bogus (-1)

IAgreeWithThisPost (550896) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938198)

The slashdot article makes it sound like this applies to space travel in general, while it actually only applies to the ISS. What happens the next time Russia wants to send up another millionaire, but the US opposses it?

On the other hand, as far as basic space travel, they can't stop other space-capable countries of sending up whoever they want. Money will always prevail over common sense.

Vindictive Mods [slashdot.org]

The Future (5, Insightful)

Toby Truman (555615) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938200)

This applies just to the space station, it seems, not to space in general. The thing to remember is that NASA has no real authority over space -- It's just space, it doesn't belong to anyone. They *do* have authority, however, over the facilities that we put into space, so they get to call the shots on the space station.

Re:The Future (5, Insightful)

Lumpy (12016) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938288)

please correct that further... They can control the United states modules of the ISS. The Russians would get mighty pissed if the US space angency tries to tell them what they can do with their property...

This really only amounts to someone in NASA trying to justify their job and trying to make policy that is pretty much silly and un-warrented.

Re:The Future (2)

gorilla (36491) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938329)

trying to make policy that is pretty much silly and un-warrented.

Or to put it another way, it's NASA acting as they have done for the last 30 years.

Re:The Future (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938331)

i bet they'd get even pissed-er if we stopped paying their creditors and their 'property' got repossessed...

sounds like a lot of people (2)

jeffy124 (453342) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938204)

It looks like if you have a history of .. lying .. you won't be going into space anytime soon, no matter how much money you have

Gee, sounds like Billy Gates, Sun, HP, the Govt themselves, Adobe, even slashdot, wont be headed to space. Any others?

Re:sounds like a lot of people (1)

anti-snot (555305) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938277)

At least it will keep the military out of space, which is a worthy goal in and of itself.

I guess "The Right Stuff"... (0)

ultramk (470198) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938206)

doesn't include Bacardi 151...

michael-

News to me (1)

CrazyDwarf (529428) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938207)

I didn't even know NASA was into the commercial travel they're talking about limiting. In fact, I thought they were upset the Russians were selling tickets.

Just out of curiosity, what difference does it make if I drink or not, if I am to buy a ticket? Will Greyhound and Ramada Inn be next?

I think I'll just continue to use the shuttle I've built in my back yard... no, wait, that was a bong. In any event, it'll get you high! (j/k)

Yep... These won't change... (3, Insightful)

FortKnox (169099) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938209)

<SARCASM>These are the kind of rules that will never change</SARCASM>

Come on. By the time you and I get into space (if we aren't too old), these rules will be changed over 100 times. Think about it.

Re:Yep... These won't change... (5, Insightful)

aardvarkjoe (156801) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938247)

Well, of course. By the time you and I get in to space, the rules will have to have been changed. Otherwise we wouldn't be there. See?

Re:Yep... These won't change... (2)

WolfWithoutAClause (162946) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938251)

Yeah, perhaps in your case that would need to be the case ;-)

Russians anyone? (1)

Richard_at_work (517087) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938212)

"if you have a history of drinking, lying and cheating you won't be going into space anytime soon"
Hmm so that rules out most of russia

Re:Russians anyone? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938302)

Hey, foul play!

Specially for Americans they have to put ban on joint smokers and specially for you - ban on racial profilers

yuri.

Re:Russians anyone? (2, Insightful)

GSloop (165220) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938348)

if you have a history of drinking, lying and cheating you won't be going into space anytime soon

And I guess that rules out most of America...

Selection Criteria (0)

TrollMan 5000 (454685) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938216)

A candidate's past and present conduct must be assessed, according to the criteria, with disqualification considered in the case of delinquency or misconduct in prior employment or military service.

So it's not only a background check, it's a popularity contest!

Seriously, anyone with a chip on their shoulder can tell a story about how someone regularly sneaked a bunch of beer and got drunk while working as an usher in a movie theater when they were 19, and keep one from participating.

A little too far, I suppose.

Slashdot Poll suggestion: (-1)

CmderTaco (533794) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938218)

Do you like your pages:
( ) Long
( ) Wide
( ) Long & Wide [goatse.cx]
2Lameness has filtered me!

1u
0cuiykmom
1d
7rirodfjm
3qxcjkc
2vzppdgld
2z
1uw
5qggql
6d
4isp
4pktjt
5nya
8i
4zcizhwd
7mtp
3gdcehmzg
7wlq
6cgnng
6dxtol
2bflpsaae
3oyfcnkzq
1zd
7kgihvo
7ktfipg
9mydqf
8fa
0mfsfxn
5zp
1vq
3qjxda
7urm
7uwys
8ejdtgfwc
1jxetz
1xqnmwjrl
6axpnd
0iw
1spsbd
1u
5diw
0gbq
5hsv
6onfl
4wago
5gbpwl
6xsdklg
7ruvkqram
2e
2vipmtsb
1sjjhwtv
0sftdfpho
2htgu
2vmrn
9zo
0qdahwhbo
9p
8fn
1iqgqw
9obbsz
0xzcutfm
6hoddzhr
1oztmhba
7xuloddtz
5elfdydi
5oaub
6v
9ikc
8on
5vozxu
3muwmiaw
2s
3ovkkic
9ddyamp
6alwmgk
6goxvkfyk
9w
3swewgj
6jwmfjf
2h
4mu
5dflfuw
2osneaomx
6nylomf
2pxglmu
7dv
1z
4ue
7sftxeoln
1uqguhs
5ezkn
5ivp
9mmbnrbh
2h
8ac
2np
5xw
1hshu
7pcyb
9zokvycxn
0ftbjvo
6lb
9fzbuvi
3p
8vrvfo
1wuphxmfq
7nxrl
4povo
7mnrofrq
2uawox
5hljkermx
3iwgfhpql
7ekfh
8tf
8r
5mbvugin
1csjrasx
9nz
6zknt
7xltzt
3rzk

Re:Slashdot Poll suggestion: (0, Offtopic)

hether (101201) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938252)

You'd think by now they would have come up with a way to filter out these damn page widening posts. It ruins a person's viewing/reading experience...

Re:Slashdot Poll suggestion: (0, Offtopic)

SIGFPE (97527) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938299)

I waste more time reading your reply than the original post. Damn! Now I'm wasting someone else's time...

Re:Slashdot Poll suggestion: (-1, Offtopic)

snoozerdss (303165) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938278)

You know. Trolling is one thing, hell everybody gets a laugh out of a troll once in a while but your just ruining Slashdot for everyone and thats just not cool.

Re:Slashdot Poll suggestion: (-1)

feeander (257457) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938339)

Don't worry... Taco will fix it in the next release...

pfft..
fft.

Bwahahahahahaha!

Yeah right!

Buncha fucken lamers. [www-3.tux.nu]

Why are "Geeks" So Unhealthy? (-1, Offtopic)

SpookComix (113948) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938222)

When you think of a *nix geek, how do you picture him? For me, it's one of two extremes: gangly and undernourished, or obese and unkempt. My bias is justified, though, when I see pictures of some of the more famous geeks:

  1. Eric "esr" Raymond [lwn.net]
  2. Richard "rms" Stallman [stallman.org]
  3. ...even our own CowboyNeal [cowboyneal.org]
Now, keep in mind that my observations on the health and appearance of these people does not at all reflect the respect I have of their work, where respect is due. Many of these geeks and hundreds more have made stunning contributions to the world: especially to the world of technology.

Are they unhealthy because they are geeks, or are they geeks because they are unhealthy? I venture to say that it is the latter. Let's face it, if you are unhealthy and/or unattractive, you are likely to develop a more introverted personality. That, by it's very nature, will estrange you from the public eye. Technology is a wonderful haven for people who are hiding from the general public, and as all of you know, the more time you spend with technology the more profecient you become, and the more likely you are to make a significant contribution to the public through it.

As an example, let me ask a question: Would Stephen Hawking [amazon.com] have made the same advances if he had not been confined to a wheelchair and so severely disabled? He is one of my true heros, but he has since he has chosen not to give up and let his handicap destroy him, the only way he has to fight it is to use his mind--so that's what he does, constantly. I daresay that if he were not disabled, he would have spent more time in social situations, with family, etc., and would have had less time to explore the universe with his mind and report the results.

Unfortunately, under- and over-nourishment is dangerous, and a serious detriment to anyone's health. When this [lanparty.com] is the staple [lanparty.com] that geeks swear by [thinkgeek.com] , how can we expect to stay healthy?

What we need to realize is that, while we should praise the endeavours of geeks around us, and even those of ourselves, we should come to an awareness that our health needs to be our number one priority, regardless of our social status (ascribed or percieved). Personally, I've begun to work out on a daily basis (I gave up on gyms...get a Bowflex [bowflex.com] , they're worth the money, and it's yours to keep long after a gym membership has expired!), watch what I eat (lay off fried foods, cut back on caffiene, cut out most beef and pork), and get plenty of rest.

It may seem futile now, but a lifestyle altered for the better will likely extend your life for many years, and make those last years good ones. It's time to spread the word, but most of all, to heed it yourself. The following are some great books and articles with more information:

  1. An interview [fatgeeks.com] with a "fitness guru" on Fatgeeks.com.
  2. An eating guidebook [amazon.com] by two computer geeks with a child and active careers.
  3. A website dedicated to "Yummy teen and geek nutrition [hairtotoes.com] ...
  4. A discussion on Slashdot [slashdot.org] about this very subject.
Promote Healthy Geeks!

--SC

Interesting . . . (2)

White Shadow (178120) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938350)

I daresay that if he were not disabled, he would have spent more time in social situations, with family, etc., and would have had less time to explore the universe with his mind and report the results.
Although it may be because of the additional time to spend using one's mind that has led to the success of some geeks, I find that personally if all I did was think about stuff all the time, I'd probably less successful. In my own life, I find that I'm the most successful when I lead a more balanced life. For example, if I'm working on a computer problem for a long time, my ability to come up with new ideas decreases. However, if I take a break, go outside, hang out with other people, and just stop thinking about the problem at hand, when I return to it, I have lots of good ideas.

One thing that comes to mind is a story by Richard Feynman where he was having a hard time coming up with a new idea to research, so he stopped trying to come up with a new idea. He saw someone throw a frisbee and that it wobbled a certain way. He decided to analyze the factors that influence the way that a frisbee wobbles based on rotation and other variables. This indirectly led to some more significant discoveries by Feynman (which I'm not familiar with since I'm not a physicist).

Mixed Feelings (1)

inerte (452992) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938225)

You can't go to space because you took drugs or you took drugs because you could not go to space?

Re:Mixed Feelings (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938298)

If you're taking the right drugs, I suspect you've already been to space... several times!

Gues what is really funny? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938226)

/. reports on every tiny update for linux, but do they report on any signifigant update to...say Win2k?

No, that would help way too many /. readers.

Penis pot pie.

Makes it easy for NASA (1)

hether (101201) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938229)

Seems like these qualifications are awfully subjective and would make it easy for NASA to block anybody they thought was undesirable. There's a LOT of room for interpretation.

And to think it took them two years of work to come up with this document.

in other news (-1)

IAgreeWithThisPost (550896) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938233)

In light of major corporation sponsership of Linux, including companies such as HP and IBM, Microsoft has announced they will be releasing Windows on Linux.

"We have decided the core linux OS is in dire need of a GUI which actually works," says Richard Belzer, Sr. Marketing Representative. "KDE and Gnome do not offer the performance of our products"

But don't look for Windows XP for Linux anytime soon, Microsoft has decided to rollout Windows 95 for Linux.

"Windows 95 both performs better than any GUI Linux offers, and also has more application support," stated Mr. Belzer. "We are assuming that because the average Linux user is used to GUI's such as KDE and GNOME, which are sluggish and problematic, that Windows 95 would actually be a step up for them."

Windows 95 for Linux is expected to be released by Fall 2002.

Vindictive Mods [slashdot.org]

No vodka for you (5, Funny)

SVDave (231875) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938234)


(d) habitual use of intoxicating beverages to excess

Uh, yeah, we wouldn't want to have anyone who uses "intoxicating beverages to excess" to be on a space station with a bunch of Russians.

Re:No vodka for you (0, Flamebait)

Karen_Frito (91720) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938327)

I'd rather have a russian of any flavor than a bigoted /. reader. Asshole.

Bummer. (1)

ZaBu911 (520503) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938236)

There goes my chance of seeing the adverse affects of alcohol in space. >,

Guildlines. (1)

thesupermikey (220055) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938240)

Really sounds like NASA thought this one out, if you have ever done anything wrong you cant go. Wow, good going NASA. 63 trillion in tax money might have been put it to this

NASA guy 1: Can you some on the Space Station?
NASA guy 2: Dont think so
NASA guy 1: No smokers then. Thats the end of the list. Lets take a 6 million doller brake and drink a 100,000 cup of coffee!
NASA guy 2: WOOT!

Re:Guildlines. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938266)

That joke might have been funnier if you knew how to spell.

On second thought...no, it wouldn't.

Re:Guildlines. (-1)

feeander (257457) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938355)

Are you drunk right now?

Or were you just typing real fast trying to get in the 'karma zone'.

Or are you just a fucken lamer [www-3.tux.nu] ?

Only applies to IIS (1)

Ksop (132400) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938243)

The NASA pdf says 'This document is limited to defining the process and criteria for selection, assignment, training, and certification of IIS (Expedition and Visiting) crewmembers'.

The headline seems to imply NASA will keep everyone that dosent qualify out of space. But really they just dont want drunks mingling with scientists. Those crazy drunks over at the x prize [xprize.org] are still going.

Rules out congress (4, Redundant)

www.sorehands.com (142825) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938246)

The NASA guidelines rule out most of congress, the senate, and or the last two presidents.


Congress may hold funding for NASA until there is an exception made for them.

Alan Thicke. DEAD +5 intresting. (-1)

Alan_Thicke (553655) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938260)

I just heard the sad news on CBC radio. Comedy actor/writer Alan Thicke was found dead in his home this morning. Even if you never watched his work, you can appreciate what he did for 80's television. Truly a Canadian icon.
He will be missed :(



Show me That Smile (The Growing Pains Theme Song):

Show me that smile again.
Ooh show me that smile.
Don't waste another minute on your crying.
We're nowhere near the end.
We're nowhere near.
The best is ready to begin.

As long as we got each other
We got the world
Sitting right in our hands.
Baby rain or shine;
All the time.
We got each other
Sharing the laughter and love. [goatse.cx]

NASA != Space (4, Insightful)

seanellis (302682) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938261)

Subject line says it all, really.

Commercial spacelines wouldn't be using NASA facilities anyway; they're too expensive.

everyone here won't be allowed to go.... (4, Interesting)

Em Emalb (452530) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938270)

Other disqualifying traits: criminal, dishonest, infamous or notoriously disgraceful conduct; intentional false statement or fraud; habitual use of intoxicating beverages to excess; abuse of narcotics, drugs or other controlled substances; and....*drum roll please*.......

membership or sponsorship in organizations which adversely affect the public's confidence in the space station or its partners.

We have been saying for years that NASA is screwy...guess none of us will get to go.

Just protecting the space stewardesses... (1)

YouAreFatMan (470882) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938273)

...from incidents of "space rage", when a Cosmonaut orders a lot of little bottles of spiked Tang, gets drunk and starts yelling and attacking people, and tries to open the airlock.

I know I'm sick of those people from ruining my space flights.

So... (2)

JabberWokky (19442) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938280)

Does this mean that the search for Bin Laden aboard the ISS can be cancelled?

--
Evan "Cheap Joke" E.

Banning the other types (1)

Pastor Fluff (555255) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938283)

Other disqualifying traits: ... membership or sponsorship in organizations which adversely affect the public's confidence in the space station or its partners.

... so much for the /. community.

Here's an interesting thing (4, Interesting)

corvi42 (235814) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938287)

You can be disqualified for:
"membership or sponsorship in organizations which adversely affect the public's confidence in the space station or its partners."


Does that mean that a millionaire with a passion for space might be banned for... say... being a member of Greenpeace, because they might think badly of McDonell Douglas for its role as an arms manufacturer?


Maybe I'm being overly alarmist, but the implications that this clause can diqualify anyone who is even loosely related to anyone that does not wholeheartedly support large corporate power is a little disconcerting.

We should be doing the opposite..... (2, Funny)

ThomasMis (316423) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938289)

We should build one huge spaceship and put all our hairdressers, telephone sanitisers, insurance salesman, management consultants, TV producers and public relations executives into it. Send them off to another planet somewhere. I'm sure they'll do just fine building a new civilization.

Well... (1)

ZeroConcept (196261) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938292)

I guess Russian space resorts would be much more fun.

Now why ... (2, Funny)

Lars T. (470328) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938293)

would politicians want to go into space anyway?

Thats odd. (1)

lurking (51269) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938297)

No boozing? Then why are the trying to brew beer on the spacestation? http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=01/09/21/231921 2&mode=flat

Imagine how it would be if they didn't do this (1)

joshtimmons (241649) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938300)

It would be nasty if you drank too much and puked in a zero-g environment.

Of course, being a liar, you'd just deny it.

How could you follow it up by cheating in space? Maybe you could turn in some other astronaut's code as your own.

If you fail to meet NASA's moral standards... (2, Funny)

Sleepy (4551) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938301)

.. you can always experience the rush of an piloting a US nuclear submarine during an emergency surfacing...

>looks like if you have a history of drinking, lying and cheating you won't be going into space anytime soon, no matter how much money you have.

Sounds like a slap in the face of George W. Bush. I *knew* NASA was full of liberals and hippies!

Easier than flying (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938303)

It looks like getting on the shuttle is less hassle than getting on an airplane.

- Adam

socially engineering space (2, Interesting)

stinky wizzleteats (552063) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938312)

Interesting.

Taking this thing to its logical extreme, one could easily imagine civil rights lawsuits regarding space access. I can just imagine the public debate on the Space Tourism Freedom act of 2020.

The restrictions are, of course, meaningless, because the bottom line is that money is the only thing that will get you into space.

This could make for an interesting precedent once we start deciding who can board the "ark" that we'll one day have to build to escape planetary catastrophe.



Thanks Slashdot! (1)

Sandlund (226344) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938314)

(d) habitual use of intoxicating beverages to excess; (e) abuse of narcotics, drugs, or other controlled substances

So far so good. I can probably pass the habitual use and abuse tests.

(f) membership or sponsorship in organizations which adversely affect the confidence of the public in the integrity of, or reflecting unfavorably in a public forum on, any ISS Partner, Partner State or Cooperating Agency.

Damn. I belong to /.

Good... (1)

Aardvark99 (261926) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938315)

...leave the fun people down here.

See you in space! (1)

Mahtar (324436) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938317)

Looks like I'll be stuck here on Earth for awhile.

Not if you get drunk and manage to lie/cheat your way onto a ship.

Well, this was interesting... (3, Interesting)

PHAEDRU5 (213667) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938319)

(f) membership or sponsorship in organizations which adversely affect the confidence of the public in the integrity of, or reflecting unfavorably in a public forum on, any ISS Partner, Partner State or Cooperating Agency.

So, how about membership in the National Rifle Association? Veterans of Foreign Wars? Republican Party? Roman Catholic Church?

If you've ever publicly criticised NASA, you're SOL.

I mean, this single paragraph allows them to deny you for any or no reason at all.

I don't believe it (3, Funny)

Triv (181010) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938323)

It looks like if you have a history of drinking, lying and cheating you won't be going into space anytime soon. Unless you're a celebrity or stinkin' rich, of course. And if you're both you might as well be strapped into that cockpot right now. If, to pick a name at random, Michael Jackson wanted to go into orbit, can you imagine NASA saying NO to the publicity? I can't. (although there is something to be said for the possibility of the National Enquirer headline of "NASA Refuses to Launch Well-Known alien Back into Space!" Bad Publicity as a front-page spread is a good thing) --Triv

drinking (2, Funny)

asv108 (141455) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938335)

No Drinking?


Doesn't that leave out the entire Russian population?

uh oh. (2, Funny)

i7dude (473077) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938336)

"It looks like if you have a history of drinking, lying and cheating you won't be going into space anytime soon, no matter how much money you have."

i sure hope they have different rules when it comes time to colonize...otherwise we'll have a hell of a time setting up a gov't on mars..."

dude.

The obvious goal of this policy (1)

RareHeintz (244414) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938344)

...if you have a history of drinking, lying and cheating, you won't be going into space anytime soon, no matter how much money you have.
Well, they've nailed down the way to keep Dubya off the space station.

OK,
- B

Relax (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2938345)

They are just trying to keep your president on Earth. It doesn't apply to us.

Phew! I'm safe! (2)

Junior J. Junior III (192702) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938346)

In ancient times, banishment used to be a form of punishment. I'm glad that now that we have the capability of shooting "undeseriables" into space, we've elected not to do that. I can't tell you how safe I feel down here on Earth now.

NASA==worthless (2)

CrosseyedPainless (27978) | more than 12 years ago | (#2938353)

Remember that space tourist that went up with the Russians? NASA had a shit hemmorage over it, going so far as to label James Cameron a "true patriot" because he was willing to wait for NASA's blessing. That was Stage 1 in NASA's assholism. These restrictions are Stage 2. As much as I love the manned space program, I won't feel too bad when these bureaucratic idiots get slapped. Let's give the money to the Russians, instead.
Load More Comments
Slashdot Account

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?

Don't worry, we never post anything without your permission.

Submission Text Formatting Tips

We support a small subset of HTML, namely these tags:

  • b
  • i
  • p
  • br
  • a
  • ol
  • ul
  • li
  • dl
  • dt
  • dd
  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>
Create a Slashdot Account

Loading...