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Bastard Operator from Hell II (Son of the Bastard)

timothy posted more than 12 years ago | from the no-shortage-of-bastards dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 125

Sysadmins should at least pretend to be nice to their users, but we all can think of times when some of them aren't. Craig Maloney may not endorse cruelty to users, but he contributed the following review, which should amuse at the very least the bastards among you, and anyone who's chortled at previous Plan Nine books.

> DUMMY MODE ON <

If you've been around computers for a while, you've probably read the adventures of "The Bastard Operator from Hell" (or BOFH). Throughout the years, Simon Travaglia's version of the BOFH has become the canonical version with its witty and humorously sadistic vignettes. Bastard Operator from Hell II (Son of the Bastard) is a compilation of some of the more recent tales of treachery similar to the ones that appear at http://www.theregister.co.uk.

"Hello?"

If you've enjoyed reading any of the BOFH stories, you'll love this collection. The stories are written with the same overall style that has made the BOFH series so popular. Whether the BOFH is trying to revive his boss with PC parts (after showing his boss the bill for his new "work wear") or taking the reins of (horrors) management (where the managers have such exciting meetings such as trying to figure out whether to rent the plants for the building), Bastard Operator from Hell II delivers 37 fiendishly funny glimpses into the life of a truly evil operator. The stories themselves are only a few pages, so the casual reader can take in a few without much trouble. The truly voracious reader will look at this book as merely an appetizer. What it lacks in quantity it more than makes up for in quality. There are some real laugh-out-loud moments in this book which have to be read in context in order to appreciate them. Suffice to say, readers of this book won't be disappointed.

"It's a dog's life really..."

Plan Nine Publishing did a great job of laying out this book. The six illustrations "Illiad" illustrated are sprinkled in various sizes throughout the 151 pages of the book (with some repetition, but unless you're really picky it won't bother you too much). Speaking of nitpicks, a small table of contents would be helpful in locating choice stories quickly.

So, what's in it for me?

At $12.95, the book is a bit pricey for the amount of content. Fans of the BOFH series should not hesitate to get this latest installment. Those who don't feel the need yet should check out the older stories archived in various places on the net before pulling out their wallets. Once you've picked this book up, though, you'll want to read it cover to cover. You'll find it hard not to wish you were inflicting some of the bastardly acts yourself. Now where did I leave my clue-by-four ...?"


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125 comments

Bob Young sucks ass! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2961595)

I mean, Jesus, what's wrong with that Windows-lovin' prick? I still can't get over
that article from yesterday.

RMS in rare blah blah blah (-1, Offtopic)

ringbarer (545020) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961618)

As regular Slashdot posters often refuse to grow up, they find their acne-ridden, jobless selves staring blankly at the television set watching Cartoon Network all day. And not just for a chance to see the Powerpuff Girls episode where they meet their own (heavily endowed) selves from the future either.

To this end, I would like to draw the Slashdot community to what could be Cartoon Network's FINEST parody. The day Richard Stallman appeared on Dexter's Laboratory.

There was an episode wherein Dexter was preparing for yet another test, and got onto the Schoolbus, clutching his "lucky pencil". Sitting down next to another geek we hadn't seen before, (clearly a reference to Linus Torvalds), the bus set off.

In the course of the bus journey, Dexter ends up losing his pencil, which rolls to the back of the bus. This area is considered 'off-limits' by the schoolkids on the bus, and they have developed a collection of myths related to it.

After having these stories related to him, Dexter decides that there is no way he is going to leave his pencil behind (a metaphor of his creativity and scientific genius) and proceeds into the dark recesses of the bus.

After some exploring, Dexter happens upon a nightmarish environment of shadows and imperceptible fear, as a giant figure looms above him, who then reveals himself to be a fat, bearded hippy.

The backstory for this character explains that he was a lazy child who fell asleep on the bus, with his hair stuck to some chewing gum. Unable to free himself from the bonds forged from his own laziness, this man-child grew up to be an unkempt scruffy figure, obese and obscured by facial hair. It is clear who this portly Peter Pan-esque figure represents. RMS in shape and thought.

But what about deed? It turns out that this character had kept himself alive over the 20 or so years he had been trapped in the back of the bus by growing his toenails long, so that he may use them as a claw to grab other children's food and discarded items. Is this not how the GNU movement works, ensaring other people's work in order to sustain the beast at the centre?

In a symbolic gesture, Dexter retrieves his pencil from the child-like hippy by, of all things, giving him a haircut. This is clearly an example of how Free Software programmers can find gainful employment by taking some consideration over their appearence.

Although one should always say goodbye to childish things, it is good to know that even the simplest cartoons have lessons to offer.

I just hope (3, Funny)

TheDick (453572) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961598)

All the copies are Xeroxed by hand by the PFY.

Re:I just hope (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2961882)

Not a chance. That's why the beancounters have that shiny new 11x17" double sided 40ppm network printer. (password: accounts). Hey, they insisted on having a seperate network and tech budget. (Then use SNMP to roll back the print count by 30,000 so they junk it after having to replace the toner every 300 prints.)

You should see the 'art prints' that advertising's color dye sub is printing out. Very 'artistic'.

frist psot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2961603)

FR1ST PS0T!!!11!!!

All I can say is... (2, Funny)

DohDamit (549317) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961611)

...they better have the next book ready to go, cuz I'm going to burn through this one. I'm very much looking forward to picking this up.

I still remember the looks I got for blowing a snot(drinking a pop while reading BofH is not a good idea) when I read my first story.

BOFH? (-1, Flamebait)

Dead Penis Bird (524912) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961620)

With the way things are going lately, those initials could describe any of the editors here!

BJFH (-1)

The Turd Report (527733) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961641)

That would be BJFH. Bastard Janitor From Hell. The janitors here couldn't admin a Fisher Price laptop [walmart.com] much less a real system.

Re:BJFH (-1)

neal n bob (531011) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962023)

I wish you had not linked that. I guarantee there will be an article within the month of some geek living in his mom's basement who has tried to put linux onto that Fisher Price laptop. Also, Katz may use it now as a prop in his pedophile games.

Re:BJFH (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2962113)

And for the women managers, Radio Shack has the "Let's Go Shopping with Barbie" cash register system on the clearance table.

Class, today we learn how to buy a power suit.

Sysadmins are sad (-1, Troll)

NineNine (235196) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961622)

I feel bad for sysadmins. They're the absolute bottom rung of any company, yet they have to do things to try to feel self-important. It's both funny and sad at the same time. But, take heart... you CAN move up from sysadmin. Learn to program, and eventually you can get out of those shit jobs.

Re:Sysadmins are sad (2, Insightful)

djweis (4792) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961630)

System administration is a job for people that enjoy it, not one for people that enjoy feeling important. Even though we know that we are important, we let the programmers feel good about themselves, too.

It's a dirty job, but someone said I have to do it...

Re:Sysadmins are sad (4, Redundant)

DohDamit (549317) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961655)

Don't be an idiot.

Sysadmin aren't the bottom ring of any company. From the very very large(GE, Kraft, anyone?) to the very small(20 employees) sysadmin are NEVER the bottom rung. That spot is reserved for the new marketing employee. The sysadmin's I work with control my life, and get my respect.

Could they code? Sure. Most of em have. Do they enjoy tinkering with machines and toys rather than chasing down the one cascading error in thousand's of lines of code? Looks like it.

Sounds to me like you have an attitude problem.

Re:Sysadmins are sad (1)

MrFredBloggs (529276) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961756)

"Sounds to me like you have an attitude problem."

I cant read the post you are replying to (i browse at 0 or 1 generally) but whenever i think of jumped up sys-admins i also think of the fat, lonely, sad comic book guy from the Simpsons. Read a BOFH using his voice and you may see what i mean.
Personally i find BOFH about as funny as Dilbert or User Friendly - ie not very. I dont think i`ve ever read any genuinely funny computer related humour - for some reason professional comedians dont go near it. I wonder why that is?

Re:Sysadmins are sad (3, Interesting)

s390 (33540) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961984)

I dont think i`ve ever read any genuinely funny computer related humour...

Obviously you've never seen "The Devil's Dictionary" (likely out of print now, though).

Re:Sysadmins are sad (1)

MrFredBloggs (529276) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962083)

I just looked on the net and it appears to be a book from around 1911. Its available online, but it has nothing to do with computers.
I do seem to remember something with a similar title, and which was computer related, but i cant remember how funny that was either.
I dont want to sound like a grumpy old man, but i really like comedy, and i`ve looked for funny stuff, but its all of similar quality to those tedious `10 reasons why the internet is better than a woman` type emails which less (computer?) literate people persist in emailing me at least once a month.

Re:Sysadmins are sad (2, Informative)

signal ll (150330) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962819)

It's the Devil's DP Dictionary by Stan Kelley-Bbootle. Amazon says it's out of print.

Re:Sysadmins are sad (2)

nakaduct (43954) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962013)

I dont think i've ever read any genuinely funny computer related humour
The BOFH series gets stale fast; have a look at Just PFY --http://bofhcam.org/pfy/pfy.html -- ostensibly true and funny as hell.

cheers,
mike

Re:Sysadmins are sad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2964703)

Personally i find BOFH about as funny as Dilbert or User Friendly - ie not very.

Why are are you reading (and posting to) slashdot then?

Re:Sysadmins are sad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2963292)

"The sysadmin's I work with control my life, and get my respect..."

I would agree with those sentiments and add to it by saying - on top of everything else - that I am deeply in love with the sysadmin at my company...!

Re:Sysadmins are sad (1)

klops (5179) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961701)

good that it's mark as troll. The poster clearly does not personally know a sysadmin. The mysterious "gandalf" sysadmin truely known systems from hardware components all the way up to high-level C programming. Some of them are the best programmers I've ever know. That was the reason I take a sysadmin job and apprenticed under a fellow sysadmin coworker instead of starting out an entry level programming job. I'm glad I've make that decision.

Check out SAGE website under USENIX and you will find out sysadmin is among one of the most tech-savy professional fields in the IT world.

Re:Sysadmins are sad (0, Troll)

slakdrgn (531347) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961944)

Don't know where you get your info, but sysadmins are some of the MOST important people in a company. Sounds like you've had a bad experiance with a few, possiably could be a bad day a sysadmin had, or the fact that you just piss them off too much, they don't respond very well to stupidity.. expecially in smaller companies where the sysadmin also has to do some helpdesk work from time to time. I know of quite a few companies that rely heavily on the sysadmin, and for the most part respect him (just don't act like it sometimes), they handle just about as much as a diretor does, if not more in certain areas..

Re:Sysadmins are sad (1)

slakdrgn (531347) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962206)

ermmm.. this *wasn't* ment to be trollish..
just stating a point.. tho it seems I'm the only one not allowed to bash the first guy to got troll.. but hey its tru, a lot of sysadmins don't like stupidity, or atleast their version of stupiditiy, (sorry but when someone complains about their monitor not working, and you come up and press the button, and it magically comes on.. you tend to consider it stupid.. u just never say it :)

sigh.. musta hit a nerve..

Re:Sysadmins are sad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2962172)

I don't think this is a troll. I do think there are a lot of sysadmins who read slashdot who find this a little close to the truth. Sysadmins are pretty close to the janitors of the computer-world. In any given company, they are in no way related to the mission of the company (unless it is a webfarm or a cleaning company). You just need them around to keep your office/computers in working order. /.ers tend to bitch about marketing and sales, but these are a hell of a lot more directly related to the core of any business. Sysadmins aren't helped any by the fact that most of them tend to have the same lousy unionized attitudes as their janitor brethren either.

Well, I don't need a karma hit, so I guess I'll stay anonymous. Watch this hit -1 right away (if sysadmins work so hard, how come they can find the time to moderate so hard anyway?)

Re:Sysadmins are sad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2962835)

I have to disagree. I think it was a troll. Just look how many bites he got.

Re:Sysadmins are sad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2963300)

I have to disagree. I think it was a troll. Just look how many bites he got.

It's called having a dissenting opinion. I have several that go right against the slashdot grain, and every time I voice them I get modded down by narrow-minded asses. The moderation system is broken in that respect.

Eat my karma (0, Flamebait)

NineNine (235196) | more than 12 years ago | (#2963989)

You're absolutely right. They're essentially just maintenance for computers... same as HVAC guys, plumbers, etc. They're usually easily replaceable, also.

BOFH Archive (4, Informative)

ratguy (248395) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961623)

A little early morning Karma Whoring....

If anyone is interested in reading the old BOFH posts, there is an archive [iinet.net.au] available.

Re:BOFH Archive (3, Informative)

Ether (4235) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961825)

There's a much more complete archive at: http://bofh.ntk.net [ntk.net] ,that has the three 'ages' of BOFH. (Usenet, some defunct British networking mag, and The Register.)

make users suffer! (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2961625)

"Sysadmins should at least pretend to be nice to their users"

no! sysadmins should be allowed to crucify users that get out of line and then set the crosses on fire.

Re:make users suffer! (5, Funny)

iapetus (24050) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961653)

You're missing the point. Sysadmins should behave in such a way that when they crucify users that get out of line and then set the crosses on fire, the users think that they *are* being nice to them.

You'll never become a true BOFH unless you understand the basics...

Re:make users suffer! (3, Insightful)

laserjet (170008) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961685)

Exactly. And after you crucify the user and burn the cross, if you are a true BOFH, the other users will come and thank you, and ask if you can do the same for them. This, is a key element to Bastard-Operator-From-Hellness.

Re:make users suffer! (3, Informative)

mikeage (119105) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962098)

They say tact is the art of telling someone to go to hell, and having them look forward to the trip...

Re:make users suffer! (1)

envelope (317893) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961804)

The problem I see with being nice to users, or even pretending to be nice, is that they'll just feel free to call again.
If I am as unhelpful and un-nice as possible, then they'll think twice before calling me again.

Re:make users suffer! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2961857)

true. i make them feel as stupid as possible. even if they have a legimate problem, when it's fixed and they ask what was wrong, i always give them a smirking reply like "well, the keyboard works a lot better when it's plugged in." but with the morons that plague my workplace, i don't have to lie that often.

Re:make users suffer! (3, Funny)

neanderdude (542114) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961909)

No no no...you need to make the users absolutely dread calling you for things.

My favorite is the user who forgets their password. New employees are encouraged to call me to "have their password reset." Usually, just setting it to "forgot," and then having them hear a light chuckle seems to be enough around here.

Another favorite is the user who needs the status changed on orders in our internal order processing system:

*ring*

"Hello?"

"I need a bunch of orders reset to 'newly entered'! The printer messed up while printing them, and I have to reprint them immediately!"

*sigh*

"Were these orders entered manually, or did they come in over EDI?" I ask, concern for the user oozing from every pore.

"Uh, manually entered, I think..."

"Okay, one moment please..."

clickety clickety clackety click

"Does 316 orders sound about right?" I ask, still with the Voice of Concern.

"Yes!" blurts the user. "Yes, that's it!"

"One moment please while I cancel your orders so you can re-key them..."

clickety...clickety...

User on the phone "What! Nnnnooooo!"

"Thanks for calling!"

Problem solved. Sometimes, I just love my job. HR could never fully explain a perk like this... :-)

Re:make users suffer! (1)

t_allardyce (48447) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961846)

Some users are genuine and want to learn. But, IMHO _All_ footballer/jocks (with no exception) who even come within a 50m radius of you regardless of if or not they are using a computer, should be electricuted (but kept alive) and locked in a storage room while you print out copies of their browsers' history containing such interesting sites as red-hot-cheerleaders.com (if the history is clean, fake it) and post it up for all the world to see (including their girlfriends). They should then be stoned to death with footballs from your homemade catapult.

This is probably off-topic, but i think i can swing it through with the 'be nice to your users' comment

Re:make users suffer! (2, Funny)

Gizzmonic (412910) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962006)

I was banished from my cube to a machine on the counter two weeks before my company moved its HQ. The jock on the counter was nice and tried to relate to me, but he was really computer clueless. My sig is from his most notorious quote-I really had to struggle not to laugh.

Re:make users suffer! (1)

t_allardyce (48447) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962771)

Thankyou for proving my point. He was not being nice, he was tring to screw you over by making you lower your defences. They are trained in this. I won't even comment on the quote :)

What really happens when you read the book... (5, Funny)

Dimwit (36756) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961632)

Hi, I just got this book, and I can't seem to figure out how to open it.

Oh, I didn't know humidity would cause it to stick shut...What? No, sorry, I don't have any distilled mineral salts.

Sure, I've got a power cord right here - now I need to do what? Ionize the electricity with some saline? But I don't...Oh, sure I could do that....

*sticks power cord in mouth*

ZZZZZZZZZT *thunk*

Two thumbs up (2, Informative)

rde (17364) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961635)

Of course, in the context of the BOFH, hearing phrases like 'two thumbs up' can be a portent of doom. However...

I really enjoyed the first book, but it wasn't really meant to be read in one sitting; it was starting to get tedious towards the end. Having said that, if you don't have diarrhoea, then it's eminently dippable, and well worth keeping in the bathroom.

hrmph (5, Funny)

gmack (197796) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961636)

My co workers seem to stop by my office a lot less since I showed them the bofh series.

Re:hrmph (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2964290)

That's why /.ers are hurrying to buy this book :)

Your cow orkers usually just stop by to ask you to do their jobs for them, anyhow...

.PDF (3, Funny)

pkx (446643) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961639)

Think how much more money the company could make if they sold a .PDF of the book for $9.99?

Re:.PDF (2, Insightful)

Lendrick (314723) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961652)

A .PDF would be all over the internet within days. They're better off printing a book.

Re:.PDF (3, Insightful)

Bonker (243350) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961706)

The originals are already all over the internet. You're paying $12 for a bathroom reader and Illiad's art... although I much prefer Pete Abram's art to Illiad's.

Re:.PDF (5, Insightful)

Larne (9283) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961919)

You're also paying as a way of giving something back to Simon Travaglia (and Illiad) for entertaining you. And as a way to encourage them to create more. By releasing this stuff free on the net first he's clearly not expecting payment, but that's not the same thing as saying he doesn't deserve any.

It's the same with GNU software. It's great that it's (beer) free, but that's no reason not to give something to the FSF if you can and want to.

Re:.PDF (3)

laserjet (170008) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961708)

You are right, and I don't think the book is that expensive anyways. I mean, come on, people, support the people you like, and don't support the people you don't like.

For instance, I will definately buy this book, but I will not buy any CD's because I do not want to support the RIAA, and that's where most of my money will be going. I don't mind supporting a publisher and the author for work which I think is hilarious.

Re:.PDF (1)

Bnonn (553709) | more than 12 years ago | (#2964881)

  • For instance, I will definately buy this book, but I will not buy any CD's because I do not want to support the RIAA, and that's where most of my money will be going. I don't mind supporting a publisher and the author for work which I think is hilarious.

That's all well and good if you don't mind supporting the publisher as well as the author, but you do realise that Simon Travaglia will almost certainly be getting no more than between 1 and 5 cents in every dollar, right? The RIAA might be a huge, greedy manopoly, but that doesn't mean that what they do is unusual. It just means they're the best at it. The fact that they're in an industry where they have, for whatever reasons, become the "standard" and all musical production must go through them (correct me if I'm wrong?) just goes to demonstrate how good they are. However, I might contest that Joe Average knows any more about the RIAA's methods than about any book publisher--the only reason it's a big deal here on Slashdot is because the RIAA is seen as the Big Bad(TM) in the war over intellectual property etc.

This is the reason I very rarely buy books, and also the primary reason that have chosen to copyleft all my work (as a writer), and pursue journalism instead.

Btw, it's "definitely" and "CDs".

Re:.PDF (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2961657)

Sure... They make $9.99, and then the person that bought it would throw it up on P2P, and it would spread like an open-source virus. (How's that for an analogy, huh?)

Buying the books (5, Informative)

OctaneZ (73357) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961647)

As a proud owner of the first book I can say it is quite nice to be able to take BOFH with you anywhere you go (aside from the ones on your PDA). The books, both I [got.net] and II [got.net] can be purchased from Plan 9 Publishing [plan9.org] from THIS [got.net]page. Enjoy your reading, and remember only use one excuse card a day! (don't want to run out before the end of the year)

OctaneZ
BOfH Administrator

Well Worth The Money. (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2961696)

It's really funny, and well worth the money. The BOFH is now my hero, and I'm remodeling my life to mimic his. heh heh. Fiction, my ass.

That's all I can say. Buy it. You'll like it.

Bitterman

My god.... (2)

Flower (31351) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961725)

Illiad drew a pretty accurate hand for the cover. But then again I can still only see three knuckles....

See the cover image... (1, Redundant)

wiredog (43288) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961752)

and buy [got.net] the book.

Re:See the cover image... (1)

slakdrgn (531347) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961802)

oooo! I need one of thoes "mess with users" buttons! :)
Disaster Recovery? Sorry but if a disaster happends, I'll be recovering in the Bahamamas :)

57656C6C2E2E2E2061746C6561737420 (-1, Flamebait)

muffen (321442) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961758)

41746C65617374206865206973206D6F 726520636C65766572207468616E2074 68652061766572616765207379737465 6D2061646D696E6973747261746F722E 205768656E20492077617320776F726B 696E6720696E20746563686E6963616C 20737570706F72742C20776520757365 6420746F2068617665202264756D6265 73742063616C6C206F66207468652077 65656B222E2049742773206A75737420 616D617A696E67207768617420736F6D 65206F662074686573652070656F706C 6520636F6D6520757020776974682E

Re:57656C6C2E2E2E2061746C6561737420 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2962015)

Flamebait? Looks like an Illiad drawing of a human face.

Sysadmin hint #45 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2961761)

Don't forget to change most of the most used commands on your system to be symlinks to /bin/rm.

You are welcome.

Buying the book (0)

amaiman (103647) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961785)

Amazon.com doesn't have the book yet, I submitted a request for it, maybe they'll start carrying it if enough people request it. There's a link at the bottom of the page for suggesting items for them to sell.

It's good, but... (3, Informative)

alansz (142137) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961823)

First, a disclaimer. I like this book. Despite having printouts of most of the BOFH stuff already, I bought both the first BOFH book from Plan Nine and this one, because it's nice to have a bound copy to put on the desk to scare users.

But there are a few critical points that should be made about the second book, and that can hopefully be avoided in the next installment:

  • The PFY comes from nowhere. The stories that introduce him aren't included, so if you don't already read BOFH online, he appears rather abruptly.
  • Illiad's illustrations are cute, but there are only about four of them, repeated over and over, which is a real shame.
  • The price, as previously noted, seems a bit much for the quality of the paper, etc. used, but obviously, the market will bear (has borne) it.
As compared to the first BOFH book, you get a lot more BOFH vs. corporation (especially accountants) and less BOFH vs. users. Depending on your outlook, this may be a very positive thing or not. :)

BOFH goes America is worth a read (2)

jeti (105266) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961914)

BOFH goes America is worth a read because it
tells you how life in the US really is.

Oh - and if you're from the US, it teaches you
all the unfounded lies and cliches we Europeans
believe in about the Ameican way of life. :-)

Salmon Days (5, Informative)

Un1v4c (226792) | more than 12 years ago | (#2961922)


I think Salmon Days [salmondays.tv] is going to start running a BOFH-ish broadcast series.
If you haven't seen The Trailer [salmondays.tv] you're missing out.

All I can say is, "ROFLMAO!"

Re:Salmon Days (3, Interesting)

FastT (229526) | more than 12 years ago | (#2963505)

Dammit! I found Salmon Days, laughed my ass off at it, and then submitted it as an article. It was promptly smacked down by the Slashdot editors for no clear reason, and now they post an article about a BOFH book... Anyway, here's my original submission:

Almost anyone who's worked with clueless users will double over laughing at this: a live-action, Internet-only video series called "Salmon Days [salmondays.tv]", starring the Bastard Operator from Hell [ntk.net]. Featured are a thrashing of the Microsoft Paperclip, an inter-office porn show, and lots of idiot users getting their comeuppance. You have to call a phone number and pay a small fee to gain access to the full episodes, but just the trailer [salmondays.tv] is hilarious, and the profits go to charity [riders.org].

Re:Salmon Days (1)

Sunda666 (146299) | more than 12 years ago | (#2964887)

Oh god! just downloaded the trailer and watched it, and I couldn't believe my eyes... BOFHs computer running windozeNT and bluescreening? thats no BOFH, just a sissie MSCE. shame on them. Besides that, it was ok...

COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (0, Offtopic)

Erris (531066) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962001)

And I hate their guts.

Visit to see for yourself. They are rolling out a new network due to at home's failure. They sent out a CD that supposedly breaks computers, Windows or Mac, and are purposfully interfering with the old network's funcitoning. Time outs that are just long enough to break a Putty connection every three minutes or so, no DNS (I serve my own), and other degraded service. The CD came with a number that no one will be answering untill feb 15th. [cox.net]

Right now, the Cox site makes you chose a location, then asks if you would like them to have them be your home page (thanks Microshit for making that possible). Then the reference fails, so I can't find the support page my wife did after 30 minutes of frantic clicking and digging. Yes she managed to find a "live operator" to answer questions. If you can find him you can ask too. If you don't have the latest M$ garbage, you might get the same answer I did to my question,

"Roses are Red,
the hell desk is blue,
are you a robot?
Tell me me true.

Answer, invariable:
WE DON'T SUPPORT YOUR OPPERATING SYSTEM!!!!!

Here I will continue rant my reply. I don't need your support for my operating system. Unlike many comercial OS that your pages indicate a preference for, my OS is well documented so I can fix it myself. Strangley enough it needs little fixing. What I want from you is Internet Provision. Give me a line and a IP number, bitch, and keep your garbage to yourself.

The BOFH may reed this and smile. He has indeed made me angry.

I get the last laugh, however. Without my money they looses their job as COX goes belly up. No one really wants to spend loads of money to trade the TV that spews trash they hate to have their PC spew much of the same. Prediction, bankruptsy in two years. Bye Bye BOFH, better learn to write a more flexible and friendlier shell script.

Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (1, Offtopic)

Lancer (32120) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962481)

Note to Erris:

and Preview are your friends...

Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (2)

Lancer (32120) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962495)

Friggin Slashdot - "Extrans" my ass.

That should have been:

</a> and preview are your friends.

*Sigh*

Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (2)

Erris (531066) | more than 12 years ago | (#2963681)

It was a better flame blank. =;]

Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (1, Offtopic)

Lancer (32120) | more than 12 years ago | (#2963955)

Probably true :) Too bad the original got modded down, as now mine looks confusing and dumb :/

{Yes, that was probably true before as well...}

Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2962694)

Mod Parent Down For Mistaken Irony.

Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (1)

Lancer (32120) | more than 12 years ago | (#2963936)

FWIW, it _did_ look right in preview.

Goes off mumbling...

Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (0)

mobets (101759) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962773)

Slashdot eats closing tags sometimes. I bolded something once. It looked fine in the preview (I actualy checked that time), but when posted, it wasn't closed.

Re:COX.NET has at least one BOFH. (3, Funny)

llywrch (9023) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962701)

> And I hate their guts.

[lines of badly formatted HTML snipped]

Grasshopper, there is a careful difference between a commodity bastard, & a true BOFH. A small-b bastard is an idiot who makes everyone's lives miserable with little or no thought; a true BOFH shows great cunning & care in inflicting misery on her/his victims.

(There is a school of thought that a BOFH inflicts misery only on lusers. Debate about this point is endless. However, a BOFH will only inflict misery on another BOFH for a very brief time for obvious reasons.)

So if someone has passed to you much pain, & you can identify them well enough to return the present, then see this as a call to find your BOFH nature.

> I get the last laugh, however. Without my money they looses their job as COX goes belly up. No one really wants to
> spend loads of money to trade the TV that spews trash they hate to have their PC spew much of the same.
> Prediction, bankruptsy in two years. Bye Bye BOFH, better learn to write a more flexible and friendlier shell
> script. [cox.net]

Grasshopper, grasshopper. One disgruntled customer deciding to stop buying will not put an end to a business. Sieze your BOFH nature, & find a useful way to deal with this problem.

And remember, a true BOFH is never caught.

Geoff

JDASOGFFS (1)

kristan (53139) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962037)

A friend in custome support recently told me of a new acronym, to replace RTFM. It is, apparently, JDASOGFFS, or:

Just Do A Search On Google, For F*** Sake!

Re:JDASOGFFS (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#2962145)

DAFGS

I thought that was a 'model 2' (2)

Tenebrious1 (530949) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962060)

"But that's a Wa..." He says, then stops. He's a beginner, and it's just possible that the company has a line of terminals that look like waffle irons. He bites." -Striped Irregular Bucket #1

Man, from then I was hooked. I kept a waffle iron in my office for a few years, but only two people ever looked at it and asked if it was a "Model 3"! A good way to find kindred spirits!

What a load of bloody rubbish... (0, Flamebait)

Beatlebum (213957) | more than 12 years ago | (#2962327)

I just read through the first half dozen episodes. What a load! This crap is as self-aware as it is uninspired.

More evidence that 90% of the people here are wannnabe fucking morons.

Don't really understand the BOFH thing... (3, Insightful)

Jokkey (555838) | more than 12 years ago | (#2963723)

I must admit that I don't really grasp the BOFH perspective. I figure that as a sysadmin, my job is to serve users; torturing them really doesn't seem to be part of the job description. Yeah, they can be pretty annoying at times, but I figure that's partly because being a computer expert isn't necessarily part of their jobs - any more than it's my job to know the ins and outs of accounting or financial aid or anything else that my users do.

And yes, I should probably just learn to take a joke. I was a bit curious, though, to learn if anyone else felt the same way...

Re:Don't really understand the BOFH thing... (3, Insightful)

GTRacer (234395) | more than 12 years ago | (#2963933)

I figure that as a sysadmin, my job is to serve users...

Well, yes, it is. Mine too. But that's not the allure. Where I work now, there are only a handful of people I have to support. The user/luser ration is pretty user-heavy.

BUT...at a previous posting, I worked with a lrger group with a lower average "computer IQ". There's only so much you can take before revenge fantasies pop to mind, and from there, jail.

BOFH is a release, much the way a quality FPS is a release. Only a brave few will actually emulate the BOFH. The rest will take solace in the fact that somewhere, some luser just got some more free disk space ;)

P.S. Where you work, does your HR insist on some level of computer experience before hiring? We just hired a data-entry person who had NEVER used a PC on her 55+ years on the planet: "Press the Tab key to enter your password." "The what key? Enter?" Aaargh!

GTRacer
- Glad to have moved on from support to analysis!

Re:Don't really understand the BOFH thing... (1)

kcbrown (7426) | more than 12 years ago | (#2964496)

I figure that as a sysadmin, my job is to serve users; torturing them really doesn't seem to be part of the job description.

...

I was a bit curious, though, to learn if anyone else felt the same way...

No.

:-)

Keeping my day job ... (2, Funny)

muck1969 (237358) | more than 12 years ago | (#2964077)

... 'cuz I'm a horrible stand-up but here's my .02 for BOfH

"My computer is frozen" ... "well put a six pack on it and I'll be right there"

"My computer is stuck" ... "You need to put a laxative in the cupholder"

"I can't get in" ... "Well tell your significant other to use a lubricant"

Some of the people I deal with are competent and I treat them well ... but a good majority of them deserve to be beaten down

My first posting... (4, Informative)

Prof_Criswell (557059) | more than 12 years ago | (#2964721)

Greetings from the denizens of Plan Nine. I want to thank all of you for the very nice remarks about Simon's book. I have sent him the link, but don't know if he will respond here.

While here, I thought I would address a few points/questions brought up in the posts.

1) Order of the stories - I pulled the stories from Simon's web site in the order they were posted, so I had assumed they were in order. I'll read through both books tonight and double check.

2) BOfH in PDF - I am not a big believer in electronic versions of books. While I feel they have there place in the realm of college texts, people still want a tangible book to read. Besides, the book doesn't need batteries.

3) Price of BOfH - I would love to get the price down, but given the very small print runs, that is hard. As demand for the books increases, this will happen. The good news is that a fair chunk of the purchase price goes to Simon (he makes more than we do, which is how it should be)

All of Plan Nine's books are more expensive than the average "Dilbert" (of course I think our stufff's funnier, but I am biased), but I can't afford to print 250,000+ copies.

A side note, if you buy the Bastard Pack, you save $4.00.

4) Availability from Amazon - The book is available from Amazon, they just have to get their act together. Once upon a time, they used to allow publishers to upload title info directly. Now they only do that if you sign up for their "Advantage Program", which only is advantageous if you are Amazon. I personally don't have the money to make interest-free 60-day loans to multi-billion dollar companies.

Besides, when you buy direct from Plan Nine, the artist/author gets twice the royalty that they get if you buy from Amazon or a book store.

Thanks for supporting Simon and the other folk at Plan Nine.

David Allen
Publisher, CEO, Janitor
http://www.plan9.org
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