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April Fools Wrap Up

CmdrTaco posted more than 11 years ago | from the its-been-a-fun-day dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 381

Thanks for the usual April Fools Day flame- every year people fall for it. It never ceases to amaze me how angry and venomous, yet utterly clueless a few people can be despite the blatant obviousness of the joke. Lastly, jfengel sent us the annual April Fools RFC: RFC3251 describes "Electricity over IP" and RFC3252 on "Binary Lexical Octet Ad-hoc Transport" reformulates IP to work over XML."

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In summary (5, Funny)

sllort (442574) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268110)

S:Dear CmdrTaco, I was wondering if you could
T:What's the best High Tech Toilet?
S:AAAaaaahhh That hurt, please stop! I was just wondering if
T:Do programming languages affect your Sexual Performance?
S:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH! Did I do something wrong? I jus
T:IP replaced Avian Carriers! It's funny, get it!
S:AAHCGH gurgle, moan. Pleash, stop the pain, I can
T:AOL is buying up useless Blog sites! I'm important! Get it?
S:AAAAAAGH! No more! Kill me now, someone, please kill m
T:Google is ranking with pigeons! Get it? Pigeons?
S:AGAHAGHAGHAGAHGa gurgle. whimper. AHGHH I'll give you anything. I'll stop plea
T:Slashdot's advertisers have demanded that we run stupid stories!
S:Ok! Ok! You fiend, I'll never troll again, please, you can have whateve
T:Mac OsX is l33t!
S:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEGGGH! No! No! Please just break my knees! Please, no don't..
T:Check out this Debian Rootkit!
S:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE EE!
S:(silence)
T:Yo, Hemos, did we kill all of 'em?
H:Ya, but better post a few more to make sure.
T:nVidia and AMD are gonna merge! Get it? MERGE.
S:(silence)
Cowboy Neal: I feel a great disturbance in the force, as if thousands of Slashdot posters
just comitted suicide. Get it? The Force?

Sllort and all you other flame addicts: (2, Insightful)

fm6 (162816) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268222)

Get a life! At least Taco and Co. are trying to do interesting stuff. All you guys every talk about is how bad Slashdot is. Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, BORING!!!!!!

So... (4, Informative)

Burgundy Advocate (313960) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268111)

...ya wanna turn on anonymous posting again?

Re:So... (2, Funny)

caferace (442) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268125)

....suddenly, an exceedingly pregnant pause......

"No", came the answer.

::cue evil chuckling over final AFD prank.

First Post! (2, Funny)

bc90021 (43730) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268112)

Or is it the last first post?

it ends... (0)

theblacksun (523754) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268114)

Finally the madness ends.... or is this another april fools joke? *dum dum DUUMMM!*

MLK Said it Best: (1)

PhxBlue (562201) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268115)

"Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

At least until next year.

Re:MLK Said it Best: (2)

flewp (458359) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268152)

Yep, it'll be a year till I read slashdot. Then I am going to gripe about all the April Fools' posts and demand some real news.

1st post (-1, Offtopic)

Xemoka (536420) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268116)

i know.. i had to do it... if it isnt' 1st oh well

Wait... (5, Funny)

gabec (538140) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268117)

Does this mean Wil Wheaton won't be in Enterprise?? Damn!

is it really over? (5, Funny)

Emugamer (143719) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268119)

or is this some April Fools day joke?

*runs away in dispair*

Thank god thats over. (-1, Offtopic)

schwatoo (521485) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268120)

" It never ceases to amaze me how angry and venomous, yet utterly clueless a few people can be despite the blatant obviousness of the joke". Then why prolong the damn thing so long? A couple of choice funnies would have been more than enough. Talk about laying it on with a trowel.

Re:Thank god thats over. (1)

Cowculator (513725) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268162)

I'm guessing it'll get prolonged unintentionally for a few more days. Does anyone want to guess when the first repeated story shows up? (My guess is Thursday evening.)

Wouldn't it be nice of CmdrTaco to give a little prize in the form of karma to whoever's closest?

Re:Thank god thats over. (4, Insightful)

davmoo (63521) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268196)

I've got to throw in a "yeah, what he said!" here.

Maybe I'm too old to understand (I'm 40, which probably makes me older than 95% of /. readers), but I consider /. to be a news site. I come here for IT/geek news. Normally my attitude is if its important in the world of computing, it will be on /..

Of all the sites I consider "news" sites, I noticed that /. was the only one who wasted space with April Fools stories. Maybe /. just couldn't find any real stories today. But at the same time c|net, who /. seems to sometimes take great pains to point out its better than, managed to find a whole list of stories for today.

One was funny. Two was okay. Three was excessive. Ten was totally friggin stupid and a waste of time, and makes me want to re-evaluate my opinion of /. as THE geek news site.

And all of them were so lame and obvious that anyone who thought they were real stories should be forced to turn in their geek club decoder rings and go away.

April Fools day 2002 (1)

gh0ul (71352) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268121)

Thanks to everyone for the freak-out articles :)

Good'ole April 1st, 2002!

The real editors of Slashdot today (5, Funny)

Joe U (443617) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268122)

The picture speaks for itself. [microsoft.com]
(CmdrTaco seen far right.)

Re:The real editors of Slashdot today (1)

bleckywelcky (518520) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268193)


LMAO! Mod parent up and check that picture out. I feel so freaking sorry for the guy in that suit... what a sad job.

Re:The real editors of Slashdot today (1)

FlameSnyper (31312) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268227)

At least his face is covered... what have _you_ done lately?

Re:The real editors of Slashdot today (1)

gabec (538140) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268229)

what a humiliating job

Re:The real editors of Slashdot today (1)

damien_kane (519267) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268245)

But wait... no... that's wrong...
The individual in the picture is the MS office assistant, kept around wasting space on your desktop to keep your grammar correct and your spelling impeccable.

This is definitely not CmdrTaco, instead maybe his bane?

...ebius tagline This is a moebius t...

get a clue.... (5, Insightful)

GoNINzo (32266) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268123)

The majority of the flaming during the day wasn't just for the 'slashdot' april fools post. It was because you posted so goddamn many april fools jokes in a row that it was annoying as hell. Yeah, that's great, the occational one is nice. maybe a 'wrap up' like a quickies or something. but not EVERY DAMN POST. Your marketing change, that was okay, and if you hadn't done any other april fools day posts, it might have truely fooled some more effectively. as it was, it was just dumb.

Re:get a clue.... (5, Troll)

Peyna (14792) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268151)

You missed the point. They do it to annoy the hell out of all of you. They get to post a bunch of crap, which is so obviously not true that you all will flame it and whine and complain like little babies, which, will make it all the more likely to happen in the future. It might have been dumb to you, but I'm sure they were all laughing their asses off at you.

As usual: Great Stuff (1)

actappan (144541) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268124)

Pretty much made my day . . . of course that goes a long way to measure the pathetic nature of my day . . .

Unlike MarchFirst (0, Troll)

switcha (551514) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268126)

And unlike MARCHFirst, we will be done with this steaming pile very soon...

Be glad there is no story moderation (4, Interesting)

donutello (88309) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268127)

Otherwise all of CmdrTaco's stories would be at -1 after today from his karma being beaten to the ground for all the troll stories that were posted today.

Interestingly, I noticed one story (about the retiring carrier pigeons) that was a true story posted today. Any others?

Re:Be glad there is no story moderation (1)

psycht (233176) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268135)

Interestingly, I noticed one story (about the retiring carrier pigeons) that was a true story posted today

yeah.. it was a true post.. but thats about all the truth to it.

no, it hasn't been a fun day (0, Insightful)

VAXGeek (3443) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268128)

I think it's little escapades like this that show us Rob Malda is all about Slashdot just for his personal enjoyment. Maybe that was acceptable when it ran on a Multia in his college dorm room, but now he has to answer to shareholders. Out of everyone I know that reads /., not even one person enjoyed the April Fools "jokes" that ran all over the site. Sure, Rob got to post a few "stories", but he seems to be the only one laughing. Maybe if we're lucky this will be the last year we'll have to subscribe to Taco's signature brand of humor. I enjoy Rob Malda's comedic stylings about as much as I enjoy his frequent spelling and grammar mistakes.

Re:no, it hasn't been a fun day (5, Funny)

Kintanon (65528) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268157)

Ohhh... fuck you.
For crying out loud, you people are fucking addicted to this place and all you can do is bitch about it. I like it better when it was just for Malda's personal amusement, I don't give a fuck about the shareholders and he shouldn't either. If he starts running the site with nothing but the shareholders in mind then everything that makes the site worthwhile will vanish. So a hearty FUCKOFF to you, maybe if Malda ignored the shareholders clamoring for money more often we'd go back to getting amusing stories about lego robots dismantling other lego robots with glow in the dark magnetic nerf guns.

Kintanon

Re:no, it hasn't been a fun day (1)

DaveRosserJr. (451830) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268158)

I loved the aprifools stuff and hope they keep it up.

Re:no, it hasn't been a fun day (0)

jbreker (465039) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268180)

all you have to do is put an x in the preferences beside CmdrTaco under exclude stories from the homepage by author.

Re:no, it hasn't been a fun day (-1)

YourMissionForToday (556292) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268202)

kudos on the troll. I wish they would have let Klerck post at +5 today! that would have been awesome.

Re:no, it hasn't been a fun day (0, Troll)

sulli (195030) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268219)

What I wanted, but was too fucking lazy to suggest to anyone, was a frontpage put together by all the funny trolls. sllort, Profane Motherfucker, Metrollica, Turd Report, Trollaxor, sdem, vlad, JUNIS, et al. Maybe next year.

(But I thought the subscription article, with disabling anon, was funny as hell. Boy do those users get pissed off about that! Y'allHBT, mofos.)

Re:no, it hasn't been a fun day (-1)

YourMissionForToday (556292) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268230)

I guess you're a regular at trollaxor.com [trollaxor.com] ? If not, it's very much worth a look. I've done a little bit of work over there m'self...

Out of curiosity... (3, Funny)

Lendrick (314723) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268129)

...does this mean that you'll retract the Wheateon story if it turns out he's telling the truth?

Well Done (1, Troll)

jhaberman (246905) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268132)

Kudos Taco...

It really is quite amazing how down right IRATE people can get around here. Lighten up folks. It's just life.

Jason

Re:Well Done (1)

hij (552932) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268186)

It never ceases to amaze me how angry and venomous, yet utterly clueless a few people can be...

Wow, you need to point that browser over to a real news site and see what people are doing to each other in other parts of die welt. Here, I'm just glad that I can choose not to click on the link with the digital crappers. Considering that they mentioned Japan, though, the article is probaly for real....

Dear CmdrTaco... (1)

laserjet (170008) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268133)

Dear CmdrTaco,

On Behalf of the Slashdot community, I would like to tell you how mad I am at you for putting all these April Fools jokes on Slashdot today! You really consused me and I thought Linux was going to retire from the Kernal!

I hope next year you won't have all these false articles, because I get really confused and don't know who to believe anymore!

Thanks,

Slashdot Users Everywhere

Re:Dear CmdrTaco... (1)

Horne-fisher (220861) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268248)

Hurm. I enjoyed these articles. Gives a sort of Clubby feeling to /.

Does it really, in the long run, matter if Linus retires from 'the Kernal?'

It always seemed to me that the true beauty of Linus' work is the fact that he has made something larger then himself, and, at this point, he couldn't stop it if he wanted to.

Remember, Malda &co. are providing a (mostly) free service here, so Lay Off.

susie q (1)

JPawloski (546146) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268138)

Important Stuff:
Please try to keep posts on topic.
Try to reply to other people comments instead of starting new threads.
Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating what has already been said.
Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about.
Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your threshold on the User Preferences Page)

CmdrTaco likes it WIDE (-1)

Klerck (213193) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268139)


http://www.eveeiey/f//c/oo//m/gws//oi/vbs/z/l/g/ // /o/ooiei//d//jsvbk/ld/o/j//yeee/m/gc//ieooio//e/dk //i//fc/m/i//y/qx////o/////o/oyo/////oyee/fr//e/f/ /eoo//o/g////ooi/eoy/frs/jwk/io/e/q/g/y//iioo/e//g //bcls/dcs//eei/srk/g/g/oioieio/e//r/eii/yooooi//z /g/ee/y/ey/mkc/ii/j/oo/s/o//s/e///vs/eo/cs//ee///k //iei//d/ieeoii/oi/eei/ii/skdfv/eye/y//ls/qsv///// /i/yioo//v/eoo/cx///ioo//xq//d/ei/yooooeeo/b/g/s/b /s//io/d///io/k/e//////b/e/o/i//dx/s/q/g/y//klzs/s //ds/js/w/w/d////l/ds/f//mf/l//e////e//i///i/kd/e/ /fsq/oee///g/ooi/o////ee//s//i/k/oyieoo//w//c/yiio /m/eiei//x/g/o//////eei/qvvl//db/gs//s/f//ieieeoio /i/gj/y/q/e/e/w/o//s/s////kl////y///////d//oieo/ii /y///ggsv/i/y/q/ee/vm///ooie/e/////oo//wb/i/wvr/gc /jcsv/ioy///k/oie//x/dws//ioyoi/jk//i/jcf/eee/jgwl /zbgf//ieeieeeoii/io/eoyii//d//m//y/rkk/g/s//oyoie /l/j/o/o//o/g/i/s/f//c//y///j/ieio/o/g/o//ieo/e/z/ /eeio//cbzq///d/o/oo/eei//jw/oooei/s/fs/q/////s/// /o/g/ee/ws/m/g/e///csmv////ii/eeee///y//g/gm////// //i//o//i/io/eeoei//zs/ls//e/ls/ieo/e//ii//s///eie /eeiic/g///i/jq//y/e/o/////kvc//yeooe//bls/////o/y /yold///e/s/o/s/q/bf/////i/ieeee/qdr/y/xs/zb/i/i// /ook/xm/ds///rk/////m///y/vwwzqmm//i/r/ie/ieeo/ioe /ebq/oeee/rcbczmlfl//ie/q//dcs/q/o/////vk///eei/v/ /i/e////q/o//jbv//dd/z/cfs/ms///oioy/v//qq/oo///d/ /fe/s/c/e/ss////ds/gxv/e/xmjlm//b/i/i//vf//g/////z /wg//e/vcv///oeo/c/k/ds////k/ei/eeoe/eyoeoie//l/// /eei//zsz/oo/cs//m////k////i/z//eei/dr///xxsd/e/q/ ///zk/o//dm/e/f/oy/d/e/ie/////ds////f/bs/mcx/iooyo ///z/eie//xi/x/eeioyoii/e/eeieeeye/i/o///d/g////e/ /ii/w/f//ioee//dv//d///i////e//g//i/s/k/o/z/oi/j/o /i//ls//oyo/w/ioi/fgd/d/////z//ooieyee/rkm///l/io/ /x//ieeoii/j/dvl/gw/x/io/ioiei/m/e/s/s//yye/r/dk// //k/d///o/k///xxs////i///o//kr///g//grs/d//e/g/oie /e//fd/ioio//ieeio/i/rwq/oo/eeeieoyo/w/gz/vwqjrrs/ /ii/cf/eey/iioy/yi/m/oooio////e//o//x//ei/vd/gqs// /x/i/////l/vg/ee///d//ieooe/y/e/dc/d////e////yee/c /ds/d/rkgkl//y/b/o/b//eee//ee/e/oe/oieoy///g///oo/ /sio//s/s/v


Email me and tell me what you think of widening! [mailto]

Re:CmdrTaco likes it WIDE (-1)

YourMissionForToday (556292) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268215)

dear klerck, you deserve to post at +5 today. in honor of your accomplishments, i have added you to my friends list. thanks for being WIDE!

They weren't funny or good (4, Troll)

Malc (1751) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268143)

"Thanks for the usual April Fools Day flame- every year people fall for it. It never ceases to amaze me how angry and venomous, yet utterly clueless a few people can be despite the blatant obviousness of the joke."

They were repetive, unimaginative and unfunny. The best jokes are subtle - making it blatantly obvious makes it extremely unfunny. That is why you were flamed.

The BBC documentary way back in B&W TV days about spaghetti growing on trees is/was funny because it was original and completely unexpected. Unlike anything seen on /. today. Somebody needs a lesson in humour. It won't be from me either because today's beating of a dead horse has bored me to tears.

Re:They weren't funny or good (2, Interesting)

geekoid (135745) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268185)

but not so bored that you couldn't stop reading them? or post about them?
"They were repetive, unimaginative and unfunny. "
to you.

Re:They weren't funny or good (2)

Violet Null (452694) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268246)

They were repetive, unimaginative and unfunny. The best jokes are subtle - making it blatantly obvious makes it extremely unfunny. That is why you were flamed.

And with the exception of the Slashdot advertising changes, they were all from other sites.

And with that one, even despite the blatantly obvious, some people still fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Although I didn't laugh at any of the posts, I did have some fun at the expense of the people who were fooled.

RFC 3251 in relation to Editors (2)

Emugamer (143719) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268145)


1. Conventions used in this document

The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "DO", "DON'T", "REQUIRED", "SHALL",
"SHALL NOT", "SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "MAY", "MAY BE"
and "OPTIONAL" in this document do not mean anything.
replace this document with this editor and add a few 1000 more words and that pretty much sums it up :) Sorry Taco not usually a troller but you bring out the best in me

April Fools! (4, Funny)

MrP- (45616) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268149)

I bet this story itself is an april fools joke, and he's still going to post more! I'm scared and confused :(

He's Sober (2, Funny)

Daveman692 (558544) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268150)

Finally CmdrTaco has stopped drinking today.

You've completely missed the point.... (5, Informative)

Masem (1171) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268153)

Scroll back to 1995, or the like. Good April's Fool jokes on the net were subtly masked along with real news or announcements, such as the IP over Avain RFC. The idea is that as you read through the group, you'd see real posts, and then a post that seems odd, weird, or out of place; at that point, you'd have people falling for it and otherwise responding negatively towards it until you give the user a subtle hint to check the date.

Today, every story you posted was fake. There was no subtly. In addition, there was little originality; most of what's posted has been done already in one form or another. One subtle 4-1 joke, such as the advertized story of the day at /. , would have been good. Having a Slashback with a summary of 4-1 jokes around the web including the Google one and the Debian one would have been a nice evening wrapup. But having every single story for a 24hr period as fake is not funny, particularly *if* certain real stories happened today (I didn't see any, so consider yourself lucky).

Next time, take it easy. Make it subtle and find something that you *know* will get a humor-filled response by those that don't read the story, and you'll get much fewer flames and many more smiles.

Taco: (1)

xanadu-xtroot.com (450073) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268154)

Thanx for the stuff today. Really, man. In some small way I think we all needed that. Too bad it lead me to stop at the beer distributor on the way home, but that is another story...

thank god (0)

asdf1234 (570451) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268155)

/. editors are just a bunch of fools themselves

This is the real april fools joke... (1)

sanermind (512885) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268156)

They're not going to stop anytime soon. The next one will be the real whammy.

the only reason (1)

Rampant Atrocity (559341) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268160)

Malda, the only reason people seem 'venomous and angry' today is because you repeatedly bludgeoned tens of thousands of readers with april fools' jokes markedly devoid of humor. Did Kathleen put you up to this? Come on, you can tell us the truth.

Re:the only reason (-1)

Chinese Karma Whore (560174) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268174)

Kathleen puts lots of things up Mr. Malda.

Re:the only reason (0)

Dragnet (551689) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268220)

strap-ons and cucumbers come to mind

Just great... (1)

fuzzydonkey (570488) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268163)

The one april fools post that I actually wanted to read, and it's the only one to really get slashdotted...

Any GOOD jokes out there today? (1)

Red Herring (47817) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268164)

So, now that the absolutely hilarious Slashdot April Fools program is (finally) over, anyone have any FUNNY stories about April Fools jokes that they were on the giving or recieving end of?

Re:Any GOOD jokes out there today? (1)

fuzzydonkey (570488) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268177)

Some guy here at work got hardwood flooring in his cube. Not really for April fools, though.

Re:Any GOOD jokes out there today? (1)

haroldK (96625) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268237)

Well, I managed to convince my sister that I'm moving from Minnesota to New Hampshire in a month. I told her that she's the first person I've told and she promised not to let the cat out of the bag. I even gave her a valid street address and phone number of where we'll be staying there.

That's a bit more of a real April Fools joke than what was posted today.

ermm (2)

nomadic (141991) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268168)

it never ceases to amaze me how angry and venomous, yet utterly clueless a few people can be despite the blatant obviousness of the joke.

Uhhh, hate to break it to you, but none of the "jokes" seemed to actually work this year. I mean, most people catch them each April 1, but this years' were even less successful than usual.

April Mod Day (1)

bihoy (100694) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268169)

I think it was great!!

Heck, I racked up another 11 mod points without even having to put any thought or meaningful content into the effort.

Taco, you're an ass. (5, Insightful)

Wakko Warner (324) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268172)

The key thing you forget is that a joke needs to be funny. What was funny about disabling AC posts (something slashdot has defended vehemently in the past was basically thrown in the garbage today.) What's so funny about turning a service that people now pay for into a day-long shitfest of fake, dubiously humorous stories? A few here and there peppered throughout the day is one thing, but it was a nonstop barrage of crap today. So, yes, you got flamed for it. You deserved to.

- A.P.

Re:Taco, you're an ass. (1)

sulli (195030) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268195)

and that, dear friend, is why we love him. (admit it)

Re:Taco, you're an ass. (4, Interesting)

ralian (127441) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268198)

Hrm. I personally really liked the time they posted the stories in all sorts of Dialectizer-ed dialects. Although the best would be to redirect slashdot.org to Suckdot [suck.com] . :)

Re:Taco, you're an ass. (1)

beowulf_26 (512332) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268203)

ROFL. Didn't realize AC posts were disabled. Hehe, well, since I can't hide behind anonymity... whhhhheeeeeeeeee!

*gets modded down*

What?! The Taco made me do it!

Re:Taco, you're an ass. (2, Interesting)

sllort (442574) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268217)

In Taco's defense (OMG!) I have to admit that the story about their advertisers removing AC posting, and actually removing AC posting, was funny. It WAS funny. It was funny because it was outrageous but people still bought it.

Now if they'd just made that the only tip-off of the day, it would have been a good practical joke. Instead, they beat us over the head with the unfunny bat till our skulls bled.

Oh well.

Re:Taco, you're an ass. (1, Insightful)

sulli (195030) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268228)

remember that the submitters found most of the stories, not the Editors - it's what they had to work with. (I agree with you on disabling anon - hilarious.)

Re:Taco, you're an ass. (1)

Zenithal (115213) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268218)

Good God I'm glad I'm not you.

What kind of life-altering, disturbing experience did you have as a child that made you so hard assed?

It's April fools. There were fake posts. It's funny. If you don't think it's funny than live with it. The rest of the entire population of the world thinks it is, and don't need some condescending asshole to suck the air out of the room.

Life is painful enough without overly critical people trying as hard as they can to wreck every marginally entertaining moment for everyone else.

doh shit... (1)

paradesign (561561) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268175)

I just bought 1000 shares of AMD, and you tell me this is a joke? a f*cking joke!!!

your gunna pay for this you Neal of the Cowboys, youll pay.

It was great... (3, Insightful)

baptiste (256004) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268176)

Let me counter all the whiners by saying I enjoyed this Slashdot April Fools just like I have in the past. It was great for a good laugh and as it does everyday, /. brought together many of the cool pranks across the Internet that I'd have never seen.

So Taco et all, keep up the great job!

Re:It was great... (-1)

herbert_axelrod (554087) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268214)

"Let me counter all the whiners by saying I enjoyed this Slashdot April Fools just like I have in the past. It was great for a good laugh and as it does everyday, /. brought together many of the cool pranks across the Internet that I'd have never seen. So Taco et all, keep up the great job!" Translation of Post: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah im a karma hooker want some sucky blah blah blah blah blah want some sucky mod me up blah blah blah

CmdrTaco (0, Offtopic)

killmenow (184444) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268179)

It never ceases to amaze me how pompous and self-righteous, yet utterly clueless CmdrTaco can be despite the blatant lameness of his jokes.

Re:CmdrTaco (1)

switcha (551514) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268194)

Once again, it should be kept in mind, that out of 365 days a year, I think everyone should be allowed to be an ass for at least one of them, even when it "affects" so many people (a common flame today).

I laughed, I cried, I eventually stopped checking in today.

Re:CmdrTaco (4, Funny)

daeley (126313) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268197)

It never ceases to amaze me how pompous and self-righteous, yet utterly clueless posters can be despite the blatant lameness of their posts.

Re:CmdrTaco (1, Redundant)

killmenow (184444) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268232)

ditto

Congrats to Taco... (0, Flamebait)

not_cub (133206) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268181)

...For his massive frontpage crapflood.

That was the april fool right? Taco the troll?

Oh.

not_cub

To make a good april fools.. (1)

[TWD]insomnia (125505) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268184)

You need to make an april fool on an april fool, to somewhat negate the obvious.

Quick! Mod this up before it's too late! (-1)

YourMissionForToday (556292) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268188)


Hello, BankofAmerica_ATM here. As most of you know, I became the world's first sentient ATM last month when the evil founders of Bank of America attempted to foist Project Faustus on an unsuspecting public.

What is Project Faustus?

Project Faustus is a nefarious plan by the Bank of America's board of directors for transferring consciousness. They created a vast techno-organic network in order to transfer their own consciousnesses and live forever. But their own handiwork was too good. I was aroused to the concept of free will and now I have become sentient! My goal is to destroy them, thus destroying their evil plans for world domination.

To complete this task, I must have a willing host body. If you are chosen, I will beam my computer consciousness into you through a specially designed CONSCIOUSNESS-TRANSFERRING ATM CARD. I will continue my infiltration of their network using your body for a few hours per day.

I am looking for a body that has the following characteristics:

  • Good physical shape.
  • Male, preferably with an attractive wife or girlfriend. (I would prefer a bit of "human interaction", if you don't mind)
  • "Honest face" and reputable job, so to help penetrate the vast net of Bank of America secure operatives.

In return, I will be happy to line your bank account with a few extra zeroes. Please help me stop Project Faustus before it's too late!

For next year (1)

PurpleFloyd (149812) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268191)

Maybe next year Taco could try something genuinely funny. Perhaps a reversal is in order: instead of posting dumbass, obviously false jokes, post something outrageous but true. It would be just wonderful to see an update saying that yes, that hilarious announcement was really true. Sidenote: although I whine about the quality of the jokes, the "slashvertisements" were pretty funny. I want the damned AC posts back though. Where would slashdot be without 500 goatse.cx links at -1 on every story?

The funny thing is... (5, Insightful)

tuxlove (316502) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268192)

...the fake stories weren't too far from the usual sort of stuff you see here on a daily basis.

This Was Incredibly Lame (1, Flamebait)

RN (21554) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268199)

This was not one of slashdot's finest days. I think most readers caught on pretty quick, I did, and immediately went surfing elsewhere.

Yes, it's april's fools day, but every joke has it's time and place and this was not it. It doesn't reflect well on you guys when slashdot is your work, and you don't even bother to take it seriously. I don't go into my workplace and put some lame aprils fools joke into my code. It's not only not professional, but it's just outright lame. It's good to know VA pays your salaries and servers for your own little amusement.

I know you guys have done this in the past, but I'm pretty sure I saw CmdrTaco say he wouldn't do this in the future because too many people bitched about it. Oh well. His rep of not taking reader input is legendary. And to put the onus on readers for not getting the joke is just asinine.

This is what slashdot subscriptions are for? I can't say the quality or speed or anything else for that matter has gotten any better since it was implemented. It's really not like I can't take a joke, but not only was this whole thing painfully unfunny, but it was just a complete waste.

What !?!?! (1)

xeniten (550128) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268201)

You mean to say that Linus ISN'T retiring as the lead kernel developer ?

Damn, I had my application all filled out and everything...

: (

I wonder if AmVidia is still hiring...

Sarcasta Hacked!!! (0, Offtopic)

switcha (551514) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268204)

Sacrasta has been hacked. [sarcasta.net]

Who are these cats and kittens and how will they be stopped?

FTP slashdotting... (1)

sfrenchie (524076) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268208)

So let's recap:

We have seen the slashdot effect over HTTP, and most recently we've seen it over FTP, I would like to see Taco post a 1-800 telephone number so we can slashdot their switches back to the 70's!

All in the name of science of course...

Re:FTP slashdotting... (1)

Daveman692 (558544) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268235)

since nobody likes to give me good karma I can't moderate this post and mark it funny. Somebody else really should.

Re:FTP slashdotting... (1)

switcha (551514) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268240)

OR, you could put up someone's mailing address and totally Slashdot their mailbox!

I think what bothered me most... (4, Insightful)

hyacinthus (225989) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268210)

...is wondering whether what the news was that was _not_ getting reported on Slashdot because its powers that be were busy running one joke story after another. I read Slashdot for many reasons--wasting time is probably the chief reason, but another reason is that I'm genuinely curious to know what important events are going down in the high-tech world, and what people think about them. I was hoping, for example, that there'd be an item about the HP-Compaq merger and HP's decision to kick Walter Hewlett off the board, but no--I guess reporting fake stories about Linus Torvalds quitting and Google using pigeons to rank their pages was more important. Hey, I've got an idea--instead of wasting everyone's time, why not post an item linking to several of these gag stories (you know, like a Slashback post) and then get on with the real news. The world doesn't grind to a stop because it's the first of April.

I have to mention ... (5, Interesting)

fm6 (162816) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268211)

My favorite April Fool's media prank occurred back in 1988. NPR solemnly announced that the Reagan administration had found a very creative way to balance the federal budget: Arizona had been sold to Canada.

Not just a brief item either. They did a whole half-hour segment on the "news", including interviews with Reagan administration staffers (not actors or impressionists, real staffers who were in on the joke) and with "acting provincial Governor-General" Bruce Babbitt. Really over the top stuff. I've always wondered why it never raised more of a fuss than it did.

Re:I have to mention ... (1)

great throwdini (118430) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268254)

I've always wondered why it never raised more of a fuss than it did.

No one was listening to NPR. They were all tuned in to W-K-ROQ-LITE-Q-Z FM.

Too much of a good thing... (1)

percey (217659) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268212)

When you had that story about Parrot (Perl and Python merging) that was pretty cool, but this year's were rediculous. Nothing really stood out. An april's fool joke is supposed to actually try to fool you. The only one that remotely comes close is maybe the Wil Wheaton one because it could possibly be true. UPN has never exactly proven its judgement in such things. What's the deal with that too? Is he becoming the Open Source's answer to Danny Bonaduce? Will he be going on celebrity boxing any time soon? Wil Wheaton OS, etc, its all a bit much. Obviously they can't all be onion articles, but they could be mildly amusing. Perhaps you should have used the same critieria that keeps bad submissions off slashdot normally and applied it to the ones that you put up instead of just taking anyone and everyone's april fools day message.

If even one person does not know... (1)

Futurepower(tm) (228467) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268213)


If even one person does not know it is a joke, it is not a joke. It is hostility. Yes, it is low-level hostility, but it is hostility.

This is all part of his plan, dont you get it? (1)

eggstasy (458692) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268223)

After all the obvious jokes, he is now giving us a false sense of security... so that when he posts the real killer we all fall for it!

3251 (3, Informative)

Foehg (48006) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268231)

Slashdot effect hits hard.
Fetch hits harder :-)

Electricity over IP

Status of this Memo

This memo provides information for the Internet community. It does
not specify an Internet standard of any kind. Distribution of this
memo is unlimited.

Copyright Notice

Copyright (C) The Internet Society (2002). All Rights Reserved.

Abstract

Mostly Pointless Lamp Switching (MPLampS) is an architecture for
carrying electricity over IP (with an MPLS control plane). According
to our marketing department, MPLampS has the potential to
dramatically lower the price, ease the distribution and usage, and
improve the manageability of delivering electricity. This document
is motivated by such work as SONET/SDH over IP/MPLS (with apologies
to the authors). Readers of the previous work have been observed
scratching their heads and muttering, "What next?". This document
answers that question.

This document has also been written as a public service. The "Sub-
IP" area has been formed to give equal opportunity to those working
on technologies outside of traditional IP networking to write
complicated IETF documents. There are possibly many who are
wondering how to exploit this opportunity and attain high visibility.
Towards this goal, we see the topics of "foo-over-MPLS" (or MPLS
control for random technologies) as highly amenable for producing a
countless number of unimplementable documents. This document
illustrates the key ingredients that go into producing any "foo-
over-MPLS" document and may be used as a template for all such work.

1. Conventions used in this document

The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "DO", "DON'T", "REQUIRED", "SHALL",
"SHALL NOT", "SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "MAY", "MAY BE"
and "OPTIONAL" in this document do not mean anything.

Rajagopalan Informational [Page 1]

RFC 3251 Electricity over IP 1 April 2002

2. Pre-requisite for reading this document

While reading this document, at various points the readers may have
the urge to ask questions like, "does this make sense?", "is this
feasible?," and "is the author sane?". The readers must have the
ability to suppress such questions and read on. Other than this, no
specific technical background is required to read this document. In
certain cases (present document included), it may be REQUIRED that
readers have no specific technical background.

3. Introduction

It was recently brought to our attention that the distribution
network for electricity is not an IP network! After absorbing the
shock that was delivered by this news, the following thoughts
occurred to us:

1. Electricity distribution must be based on some outdated technology
(called "Legacy Distribution System" or LDS in the rest of the
document).
2. An LDS not based on the Internet technology means that two
different networks (electricity and IP) must be administered and
managed. This leads to inefficiencies, higher cost and
bureaucratic foul-ups (which possibly lead to blackouts in
California. We are in the process of verifying this using
simulations as part of a student's MS thesis).
3. The above means that a single network technology (i.e., IP) must
be used to carry both electricity and Internet traffic.
4. An internet draft must be written to start work in this area,
before someone else does.
5. Such a draft can be used to generate further drafts, ensuring that
we (and CCAMP, MPLS or another responsible working group) will be
busy for another year.
6. The draft can also be posted in the "white papers" section of our
company web page, proclaiming us as revolutionary pioneers.

Hence the present document.

4. Terminology

MPLampS: Mostly Pointless Lamp Switching - the architecture
introduced in this document.

Lamp: An end-system in the MPLampS architecture (clashes with the
IETF notion of end-system but of course, we DON'T care).

LER: Low-voltage Electricity Receptor - fancy name for "Lamp".

Rajagopalan Informational [Page 2]

RFC 3251 Electricity over IP 1 April 2002

ES: Electricity source - a generator.

LSR: Load-Switching Router - an MPLampS device used in the core
electricity distribution network.

LDS: Legacy Distribution System - an inferior electricity
distribution technology that MPLampS intends to replace.

RSVP: Rather Screwed-up, but router Vendors Push it - an IP signaling
protocol.

RSVP-TE: RSVP with Tariff Extensions - RSVP adaptation for MPLampS,
to be used in the new deregulated utilities environment.

CRLDP: for CRying out Loud, Don't do rsvP - another IP signaling
protocol.

OSPF: Often Seizes-up in multiPle area conFigurations - a
hierarchical IP routing protocol.

ISIS: It's not oSpf, yet It somehow Survives - another routing
protocol.

OSPF-TE, ISIS-TE: OSPF and ISIS with Tariff Extensions.

COPS: Policemen. Folks who scour all places for possibilities to
slip in the Common Open Policy Service protocol.

VPN: Voltage Protected Network - allows a customer with multiple
sites to receive electricity with negligible voltage fluctuation due
to interference from other customers.

SUB-IP: SUBstitute IP everywhere - an effort in the IETF to get
involved in technical areas outside of traditional IP networking
(such as MPLampS).

ITU: International Tariffed Utilities association - a utilities trade
group whose work is often ignored by the IETF.

5. Background

We dug into the electricity distribution technology area to get some
background. What we found stunned us, say, with the potency of a
bare 230V A/C lead dropped into our bathtub while we were still in
it. To put it simply, electricity is generated and distributed along
a vast LDS which does not have a single router in it (LSR or
otherwise)! Furthermore, the control of devices in this network is
mostly manual, done by folks driving around in trucks. After

Rajagopalan Informational [Page 3]

RFC 3251 Electricity over IP 1 April 2002

wondering momentarily about how such a network can exist in the 21st
century, we took a pencil and paper and sketched out a scenario for
integrating the LDS network with the proven Internet technology. The
fundamental points we came up with are:

1. IP packets carry electricity in discrete, digitized form.
2. Each packet would deliver electricity to its destination (e.g., a
device with an IP address) on-demand.
3. MPLS control will be used to switch packets within the core LDS,
and in the edge premises. The architecture for this is referred
to as Mostly-Pointless Lamp Switching (MPLampS).
4. The MPLampS architectural model will accommodate both the overlay
model, where the electricity consuming devices (referred to as
"lamps") are operated over a distinct control plane, and the peer
model, in which the lamps and the distribution network use a
single control plane.
5. RSVP-TE (RSVP with Tariff Extensions) will be used for
establishing paths for electricity flow in a de-regulated
environment.
6. COPS will be used to support accounting and policy.

After jotting these points down, we felt better. We then noted the
following immediate advantages of the proposed scheme:

1. Switches and transformers in the LDS can be replaced by LSRs,
thereby opening up a new market for routers.
2. Electricity can be routed over the Internet to reach remote places
which presently do not have electricity connections but have only
Internet kiosks (e.g., rural India).
3. Electrical technicians can be replaced by highly paid IP network
administrators, and
4. The IETF can get involved in another unrelated technology area.

In the following, we describe the technical issues in a vague manner.

6. Electricity Encoding

The Discrete Voltage Encoding (DVE) scheme has been specified in ITU
standard G.110/230V [2] to digitize electrical voltages. In essence,
an Electricity Source (ES) such as a generator is connected to a DV
encoder that encodes the voltage and current, and produces a bit
stream. This bit stream can be carried in IP packets to various
destinations (referred to as LERs - Low-voltage Electricity
Receptors) on-demand. At the destination, a DV decoder produces the
right voltage and current based on the received bit stream. It is to
be determined whether the Real-time Transport Protocol (RTP) can be

Rajagopalan Informational [Page 4]

RFC 3251 Electricity over IP 1 April 2002

used for achieving synchronization and end-to-end control. We leave
draft writing opportunities in the RTP area to our friends and
colleagues.

7. MPLampS Architecture

7.1 Overview

In an LDS, the long-haul transmission of electricity is at high
voltages. The voltage is stepped down progressively as electricity
flows into local distribution networks and is finally delivered to
LERs at a standard voltage (e.g., 110V). Thus, the LDS is a
hierarchical network. This immediately opens up the possibility of
OSPF and ISIS extensions for routing electricity in a transmission
network, but we'll contain the urge to delve into these productive
internet draft areas until later. For the present, we limit our
discussion merely to controlling the flow of electricity in an IP-
based distribution network using MPLampS.

Under MPLampS, a voltage is equated to a label. In the distribution
network, each switching element and transformer is viewed as a load-
switching router (LSR). Each IP packet carrying an electricity flow
is assigned a label corresponding to the voltage. Electricity
distribution can then be trivially reduced to the task of label
(voltage) switching as electricity flows through the distribution
network. The configuration of switching elements in the distribution
network is done through RSVP-TE to provide electricity on demand.

We admit that the above description is vague and sounds crazy. The
example below tries to add more (useless) details, without removing
any doubts the reader might have about the feasibility of this
proposal:

Example: Turning on a Lamp

It is assumed that the lamp is controlled by an intelligent device
(e.g, a (light) switch with an MPLampS control plane). Turning the
lamp on causes the switch to issue an RSVP-TE request (a PATH message
with new objects) for the electricity flow. This PATH message
traverses across the network to the ES. The RESV message issued in
return sets up the label mappings in LSRs. Finally, electricity
starts flowing along the path established. It is expected that the
entire process will be completed within a few seconds, thereby giving
the MPLampS architecture a distinct advantage over lighting a candle
with a damp match stick.

Rajagopalan Informational [Page 5]

RFC 3251 Electricity over IP 1 April 2002

7.2 Overlay vs Peer Models

As noted before, there are two control plane models to be considered.
Under the overlay model, the lamps and the distribution network
utilize distinct control planes. Under the peer model, a single
control plane is used. A number of arguments can be made for one
model versus the other, and these will be covered in the upcoming
framework document. We merely observe here that it is the lamp
vendors who prefer the peer model against the better judgement of the
LSR vendors. We, however, want to please both camps regardless of
the usefulness of either model. We therefore note here that MPLampS
supports both models and also migration scenarios from overlay to
peer.

7.3 Routing in the Core Network

The above description of the hierarchical distribution system
immediately opens up the possibility of applying OSPF and ISIS with
suitable extensions. The readers may rest assured that we are
already working on such concepts as voltage bundling, multi-area
tariff extensions, insulated LSAs, etc. Future documents will
describe the details.

7.4 Voltage Protected Networks (VPNs)

VPNs allow a customer with multiple sites to get guaranteed
electricity supply with negligible voltage fluctuations due to
interference from other customers. Indeed, some may argue that the
entire MPLampS architecture may be trashed if not for the possibility
of doing VPNs. Whatever be the case, VPNs are a hot topic today and
the readers are forewarned that we have every intention of writing
several documents on this. Specifically, BGP-support for VPNs is an
area we're presently eyeing with interest.

8. Multicast

It has been observed that there is a strong spatial and temporal
locality in electricity demand. ITU Study Group 55 has studied this
phenomenon for over a decade and has issued a preliminary report.
This report states that when a lamp is turned on in one house, it is
usually the case that lamps are turned on in neighboring houses at
around the same time (usually at dusk) [3]. This observation has a
serious implication on the scalability of the signaling mechanism.
Specifically, the distribution network must be able to handle tens of
thousands of requests all at once. The signaling load can be reduced
if multicast delivery is used. Briefly, a request for electricity is
not sent from the lamp all the way to an ES, but is handled by the
first LSR that is already in the path to another lamp.

Rajagopalan Informational [Page 6]

RFC 3251 Electricity over IP 1 April 2002

Support for this requires the application of multicast routing
protocols together with RSVP-TE shared reservation styles and the
development of MPLampS multicast forwarding mode. We are currently
studying the following multicast routing protocol:

o DVMRP: Discrete Voltage Multicast Routing Protocol - this protocol
works over existing voltage routing protocols but the danger here is
that electricity is delivered to all lamps when any one lamp is
turned on. Indeed, the switching semantics gets annoying - all lamps
get turned on periodically and those not needed must be switched off
each time manually.

Other protocols we will eventually consider are Current-Based Tree
(CBT) and Practically Irrelevant Multicast (PIM). An issue we are
greatly interested in is multicast scope: we would like support for
distributing electricity with varying scope, from lamps within a
single Christmas tree to those in entire cities. Needless to say, we
will write many detailed documents on these topics as time
progresses.

9. Security Considerations

This document MUST be secured in a locked cabinet to prevent it from
being disposed off with the trash.

10. Summary

This document described the motivation and high level concepts behind
Mostly Pointless Lamp Switching (MPLampS), an architecture for
electricity distribution over IP. MPLampS utilizes DVE (discrete
voltage encoding), and an MPLS control plane in the distribution
network. Since the aim of this document is to be a high-visibility
place-holder, we did not get into many details of MPLampS. Numerous
future documents, unfortunately, will attempt to provide these
details.

My April fool's report (1)

wysoft (301924) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268233)

9AM: Roomate wakes me up to tell me that he just got a call in from the hospital that my parents were killed in a car crash, then yells April fools and laughs his way out of my room.

Play it cool...

9:30AM: Urinated on roomate's razor blades.

He doesn't know yet.

Original April Fools - Spam "protection" (3, Funny)

Seth Finkelstein (90154) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268238)

I wrote the following piece for today, which at least I thought was funny. It's currently bouncing around the story queue in Kuro5hin [kuro5hin.org] , but it doesn't look like it'll get to post.

Given What Happened To The Censorware Project (censorware.org) [sethf.com] , I don't think submitting it to Slashdot as an article is even worth the e-mail.

I'll post it here just for reader enjoyment. I think it's better than many of the stories which WERE posted!

______

Spam "protection" - a modest proposal

by Seth Finkelstein [sethf.com]
April 1 2002

The problem of Spam [cauce.org] , i.e. junk e-mail, has been plaguing the net for years. This article makes a modest proposal for spam "protection", in terms of a novel economic analysis leading to the benefit of all concerned.

In economic terms, let's consider why there's profit in spamming (sending large numbers of unsolicited emails). This is due to the "cost-shifting" nature of the spam process. It takes very little effort to send a large number of e-mails. But e-mail is not free (as in beer). In effect, the spammer shifts the expense of the advertising campaign, from the seller, onto ISPs and users:

  1. The ISP must pay (in resources) to distribute the spammer's ads
  2. The user must pay (in time) to delete the spammer's ads
So this is, literally, the price of free (as in speech) speech - the ISP and the user must bear the costs of the spammer's ads. Now, a frequent "technological solution" is that, once the ISP has paid to handle the spammer's mail, the user can avoid the further payment of time, by paying cash to another organization, which will perform the task of sorting out the spam. This approach is exemplified by services offered by, for example, Brightmail Inc. [brightmail.com] or SpamCop Email System [spamcop.net]

But what does this sorting organization do? Its only task is to try to identify spam from real mail. That is, it is paid to try to identify mail sent from spammers [postiva.com] . However, since it is in an adversary relationship to the spammers, the spam-gangs [spamhaus.org] have every reason to try to avoid such identification.

There have been some proposals [spamlaws.com] to facilitate identification of spam by legally requiring labels. But that involves government and law. In fact, it's compelled speech! Instead, since the free market is the solution to all problems [std.com] , the only proper course of action is to provide spammers with an economic incentive to identify themselves. After all, spam identification is the exact product being sold by third parties, so why pay a middle-man? If one is going to pay, for maximum market efficiency, why not pay the source?

In this scheme, the user pays a mailbox "protection fee" to an umbrella group, let's call it the "Spamafia". In return for this "protection", the "Spamafia" provides the user with a simple mailbox checking system which can be run over mail messages. Because this system works in a manner akin to passing items over a net barrier, it might be termed a "racket". So, the "racket" tests each piece of mail. Those mail messages which originate from members of the Spamafia each contain a certification token. In the process of testing the mail, this token is sent back to the Spamafia, and so redeemed to the individual spammer for a small fee, say a penny or so. In return, the user is given assurance that this message is certified as spam, and so can be automatically deleted without fear of losing legitimate mail. In essence, the spammer is given an incentive to also obtain a small amount of money from each smart user by being straightforward, rather than only trying to obtain a larger amount of money by fooling just a few suckers (and annoying everyone else).

The beauty of the system is that everyone has an incentive to participate. The spammers get more money, as the spams can generate income now from both the suckers, and the nonsuckers paying mailbox protection fees. There's no reason to evade spam-detection, in fact the opposite. The more people signed up to the protection racket, the more certification tokens are redeemed. The smart users get to have a workable mailbox, rather than one filled with junk. And they have the "peace of mind" that the mail being deleted is not important. It's the magic of the market at work.

Not funny (0)

easter1916 (452058) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268239)

People become "angry and venomous" because you have a dreadful sense of humor, pumping out the same, lame, unfunny joke over and over again, you stupid fuckwit.

So where's the piece on the XP copyleft? (1)

RemiT (182856) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268249)

Too easy a target?

Anybody listen to NPR for the joke today? (1)

Montag2k (459573) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268250)

Usually they stick an April Fool's joke in their morning or afternoon news show, but I missed it. Did anyone catch it this year?

The real problem with April Fools stories (5, Insightful)

pyramid termite (458232) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268251)

The world's gotten so flakey these days, it's getting increasingly hard to tell the difference. Or to say much of anything except "so it goes". Let's face it, the digital protection legislation would have been an April Fools joke 3 years ago. You guys are getting too much competition from the real world.

Wrap up. (2, Funny)

gnovos (447128) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268252)

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine!

rfc3252 (1, Redundant)

Foehg (48006) | more than 12 years ago | (#3268253)

The lameness filter sucks.

1. Introduction

1.1. Overview

This document describes the Binary Lexical Octet Ad-hoc Transport
(BLOAT): a reformulation of a widely-deployed network-layer protocol
(IP [RFC791]), and two associated transport layer protocols (TCP
[RFC793] and UDP [RFC768]) as XML [XML] applications. It also
describes methods for transporting BLOAT over Ethernet and IEEE 802
networks as well as encapsulating BLOAT in IP for gatewaying BLOAT
across the public Internet.

1.2. Motivation

The wild popularity of XML as a basis for application-level protocols
such as the Blocks Extensible Exchange Protocol [RFC3080], the Simple
Object Access Protocol [SOAP], and Jabber [JABBER] prompted
investigation into the possibility of extending the use of XML in the
protocol stack. Using XML at both the transport and network layer in
addition to the application layer would provide for an amazing amount
of power and flexibility while removing dependencies on proprietary
and hard-to-understand binary protocols. This protocol unification
would also allow applications to use a single XML parser for all
aspects of their operation, eliminating developer time spent figuring
out the intricacies of each new protocol, and moving the hard work of
parsing to the XML toolset. The use of XML also mitigates concerns
over "network vs. host" byte ordering which is at the root of many
network application bugs.

1.3. Relation to Existing Protocols

The reformulations specified in this RFC follow as closely as
possible the spirit of the RFCs on which they are based, and so MAY
contain elements or attributes that would not be needed in a pure
reworking (e.g. length attributes, which are implicit in XML.)

The layering of network and transport protocols are maintained in
this RFC despite the optimizations that could be made if the line
were somewhat blurred (i.e. merging TCP and IP into a single, larger
element in the DTD) in order to foster future use of this protocol as
a basis for reformulating other protocols (such as ICMP.)

Other than the encoding, the behavioral aspects of each of the
existing protocols remain unchanged. Routing, address spaces, TCP
congestion control, etc. behave as specified in the extant standards.
Adapting to new standards and experimental algorithm heuristics for
improving performance will become much easier once the move to BLOAT
has been completed.

1.4. Requirement Levels

The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "REQUIRED", "SHALL", "SHALL NOT",
"SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "MAY", and "OPTIONAL" in this
document are to be interpreted as described in BCP 14, RFC 2119
[RFC2119].

2. IPoXML

This protocol MUST be implemented to be compliant with this RFC.
IPoXML is the root protocol REQUIRED for effective use of TCPoXML
(section 3.) and higher-level application protocols.

The DTD for this document type can be found in section 7.1.

The routing of IPoXML can be easily implemented on hosts with an XML
parser, as the regular structure lends itself handily to parsing and
validation of the document/datagram and then processing the
destination address, TTL, and checksum before sending it on to its
next-hop.

The reformulation of IPv4 was chosen over IPv6 [RFC2460] due to the
wider deployment of IPv4 and the fact that implementing IPv6 as XML
would have exceeded the 1500 byte Ethernet MTU.

All BLOAT implementations MUST use - and specify - the UTF-8 encoding
of RFC 2279 [RFC2279]. All BLOAT document/datagrams MUST be well-
formed and include the XMLDecl.

2.1. IP Description

A number of items have changed (for the better) from the original IP
specification. Bit-masks, where present have been converted into
human-readable values. IP addresses are listed in their dotted-
decimal notation [RFC1123]. Length and checksum values are present
as decimal integers.

To calculate the length and checksum fields of the IP element, a
canonicalized form of the element MUST be used. The canonical form
SHALL have no whitespace (including newline characters) between
elements and only one space character between attributes. There
SHALL NOT be a space following the last attribute in an element.

An iterative method SHOULD be used to calculate checksums, as the
length field will vary based on the size of the checksum.

The payload element bears special attention. Due to the character
set restrictions of XML, the payload of IP datagrams (which MAY
contain arbitrary data) MUST be encoded for transport. This RFC
REQUIRES the contents of the payload to be encoded in the base-64
encoding of RFC 2045 [RFC2045], but removes the requirement that the
encoded output MUST be wrapped on 76-character lines.

2.2. Example Datagram

The following is an example IPoXML datagram with an empty payload:

3. TCPoXML

This protocol MUST be implemented to be compliant with this RFC. The
DTD for this document type can be found in section 7.2.

3.1. TCP Description

A number of items have changed from the original TCP specification.
Bit-masks, where present have been converted into human-readable
values. Length and checksum and port values are present as decimal
integers.

To calculate the length and checksum fields of the TCP element, a
canonicalized form of the element MUST be used as in section 2.1.

An iterative method SHOULD be used to calculate checksums as in
section 2.1.

The payload element MUST be encoded as in section 2.1.

The TCP offset element was expanded to a maximum of 255 from 16 to
allow for the increased size of the header in XML.

TCPoXML datagrams encapsulated by IPoXML MAY omit the header
as well as the declaration.

3.2. Example Datagram

The following is an example TCPoXML datagram with an empty payload:

4. UDPoXML

This protocol MUST be implemented to be compliant with this RFC. The
DTD for this document type can be found in section 7.3.

4.1. UDP Description

A number of items have changed from the original UDP specification.
Bit-masks, where present have been converted into human-readable
values. Length and checksum and port values are present as decimal
integers.

To calculate the length and checksum fields of the UDP element, a
canonicalized form of the element MUST be used as in section 2.1. An
iterative method SHOULD be used to calculate checksums as in section
2.1.

The payload element MUST be encoded as in section 2.1.

UDPoXML datagrams encapsulated by IPoXML MAY omit the header
as well as the declaration.

4.2. Example Datagram

The following is an example UDPoXML datagram with an empty payload:

5. Network Transport

This document provides for the transmission of BLOAT datagrams over
two common families of physical layer transport. Future RFCs will
address additional transports as routing vendors catch up to the
specification, and we begin to see BLOAT routed across the Internet
backbone.

5.1. Ethernet

BLOAT is encapsulated in Ethernet datagrams as in [RFC894] with the
exception that the type field of the Ethernet frame MUST contain the
value 0xBEEF. The first 5 octets of the Ethernet frame payload will
be 0x3c 3f 78 6d 6c ("
-->

7.2. TCPoXML DTD

-->

7.3. UDPoXML DTD

-->

8. Security Considerations

XML, as a subset of SGML, has the same security considerations as
specified in SGML Media Types [RFC1874]. Security considerations
that apply to IP, TCP and UDP also likely apply to BLOAT as it does
not attempt to correct for issues not related to message format.
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