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The Plague of Frogs

michael posted more than 12 years ago | from the gnats-hail-and-locusts-coming-soon dept.

Science 243

jpbostic writes "According to this article on MSNBC, ag folks in Hawaii were considering using powdered caffeine to help rid themselves of an infestation of frogs from Puerto Rico. The EPA's application regulations apparently proved too burdensome and the stuff sits in a warehouse. If the EPA is really concerned with the danger, they should investigate the coffee in some restaurants *quoth the caffeine addict*. :-)"

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Consider this the plague of the fp! (-1)

Pr0n K1ng (160688) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467475)

Suck it biznizitch!

Get it in you!

I got the mojo, jojo!

Re:Consider this the plague of the fp! (-1)

CmdrStkFjta (565570) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467648)

blame Cananda!

Re:Consider this the plague of the fp! (-1)

Pen1s Goat Guy (535580) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467655)

ah! double tea bags to you! enjoy.

Potential first post (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467476)

But i am probably way too late...

Holy shit.. (4, Funny)

I.T.R.A.R.K. (533627) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467479)

..when I first read that headline, I thought the French were invading!

Re:Holy shit.. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467486)

If the French invade for territorial expansion, they shall be nuked!

Re:Holy shit.. (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467491)

Stupid fat american, the french would kick your ass.

As if... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467660)

The whole world knows that "French" is synonymous with "cheese-smelling surrender monkeys". The only thing they'll beat anybody at that involves warfare is how quickly they can line up to be sent off to the POW camp.

-1 troll (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467501)

n/t

just read parents sig (0, Flamebait)

packeteer (566398) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467602)

read my subject... thank you that is all

Slashdot sucks my big huge balls (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467483)

And Rob Malda eats shit.

Come to Kuro5hin [kuro5hin.org] for great Justice.

K5 roxors! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467492)

That new dynamic comments thingy fucking rocks. Too bad the Slashdot team is too busy having depraved anal orgies to code anything like that for Asscode [goatse.cx] .

Plague (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467484)

Theres a plague of frogs swimming in my pants... in hot grits!

Obligatory Simpsons Episode Comment (0, Offtopic)

Rampant Atrocity (559341) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467485)

So obligatory, in fact, that I'm not going to include it! :)

That's okay, I will. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467493)

"I'm not not licking toads."

Re:That's okay, I will. (1)

Cheetah86 (136854) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467630)

He's refering to the episode where they go to Australia and Bart lets his frog out at customs and by the end of the episode the whole country has a frog infestation.

Re:Obligatory Simpsons Episode Comment (0, Redundant)

Scrooge919 (188405) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467665)

... Or the episode where Springfield is overrun with lizards, and Principal Skinner suggests they unleash wave after wave of creatures to prey on the previous waves...

Frogs on caffeine (2, Funny)

abh (22332) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467489)

I can't be the only one, who, after reading the posting, immediately had visions in my head of hyper wacked-out frogs jumping all over the place...

Am I?

Re:Frogs on caffeine (2, Funny)

dangermouse (2242) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467507)

Heh. Because the caffeine would make them jumpy.

I'm sorry. I'm going to go take a nap now. Moderators, do what you must.

Re:Frogs on caffeine (4, Interesting)

dagoalieman (198402) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467514)

No, you're not the only one, but IIRC it won't happen.

I **vaguely** recall hearing that the caffiene has an adverse effect on their nervous system, in essense blocking the signals from the brain and to the brain. As in once they get it in them (dunno if it's absorption or consumption) they just don't move.. and shut down.

Someone please correct me. That's so vague on details that I'm SURE I've at least got part, if not all of it, wrong. Hopefully the real solution is better than freezing to death, though...

.

Re:Frogs on caffeine (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467525)

My question is, are the frogs really the only species in hawaii that would be adversely effected if there were a rain of powdered caffiene?

At the least, it would be a wierd few days for any humans on the island.

Eh. Beats raining sulphur.. or being turned into a pillar of salt. I guess.

Re:Frogs on caffeine (1)

terradyn (242947) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467544)

They're hearts basically stop. It's the quickest way they have for killing them without harming the native animals. Also from the TLC show I talked about in a previous post.

Re:Frogs on caffeine (2, Informative)

ahaning (108463) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467637)

As with most topics, a cursory search of Google popped up this [washington.edu] link. The relevant part:

Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant that interferes with a neurotransmitter in the brain called adenosine. Caffeine also acts at other places in the body to increase heart rate, constrict blood vessels, relax air passages, and affect muscles. An overdose of caffeine is lethal to the coqui frog.

There is a link [hear.org] there to another page with examples of what they sound like. Though I'm rather against killing anything just to kill it, these ARE an alien species...so...erg. It's still a tough call. Damn conscience!

Re:Frogs on caffeine (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467622)

Probably. On the OSISPP(Standard International Scale of Pharmaceutical Pussyness), caffeine ranks a stunning 9.3 out of 10. To give you a better idea of it's relative girlyness, Childrens Tylenol ranks a 9.5, while Dramamine pulls down a relatively respectible 8.7 rating. As this is the case, scientists are left to ponder why geeks embrace such a pussy, ineffective drug that works primarily by placebo effect.

If you want a rush, stop being such a fucking girl and get some methamphetamine or cocaine. Pretending that caffeine is fun or energizing is just pathetic.

Actually, meth and coke users are generally huge fucking assholes. Just stay away from stims and grow a poppy garden for your chemical needs.

Re:Frogs on caffeine (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467698)

"Actually, meth and coke users are generally huge fucking assholes."

Or they might just be short people.

I think (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467490)

that you should remedy the plague of me not having a delorean.

Won't work. (4, Funny)

Kyeo (577916) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467494)

The frogs would just annoy you and take no breaks.

Re:Won't work. (2)

gehrehmee (16338) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467588)

Now if only we could teach them perl...

Re:Won't work. (1)

WetCat (558132) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467603)

... they will create decent code from their bodies... Next time a new version of Apache can be simply obtained by making an aerophoto of caffeinated frog fields and getting it through an OCR...

I dont like the french either ... (2, Funny)

Monkelectric (546685) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467497)

but how will caffine help ?

Re:I dont like the french either ... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467506)

Stupid fat american, the French will kick your fat stupid ass.

Re:I dont like the french either ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467521)

Shut up, or we'll recall all the Jerry Lewis reels.

Re:I dont like the french either ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467532)

Shut up, or we'll recall all the Jerry Lewis reels.

There's about as much a chance of that happening as the french stopping the production of french fries in the U.S. (mind you, if they were sucessful maybe you USians wouldn't be so fat and smelly)

Re:I dont like the french either ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467668)

"you USians wouldn't be so fat and smelly"

Smelly? I take it you have not smelled a frenchman recently. Why do they not use soap?
Perfume just mixes with odors, it doesn't make them go away!

Re:I dont like the french either ... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467547)

That's cruel. But called for, to shut up those hypocrite frenchies. FATTIES, the lot of them. they think they're better than AMERICANS! well, let me tell them something... you LARD eating butt riming salad language nazis deserve to lose your country to the Germans again.

*sigh*

Re:I dont like the french either ... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467565)

And you fat, smelly, arrogant, racist USians deserve another 9/11.

Re:I dont like the french either ... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467579)

FATTIES, the lot of them.

I think you got your stereotypes messed up, its the Americans who have a reputation for being fat.

French kicking button ? Hahahaha ! Vive la merde ! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467538)

When was the last time the French kicked anyone's butt ?

Ah, you meant , the French kill *KISS* your fat stupid ass. Ah, ok, sounds right now.

-1 troll (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467512)

and learn to spell.

Fuck the French! (-1)

1234567890zxcvbnm (548451) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467499)

Caffeine isn't going to get rid of them. This is a job for rat poison.

My Response: (0)

dupper (470576) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467500)

Theresnothingwrongwithcaffiene!!! Whosaidtheresanythingwrongwithcaffiene?! Ishouldwhupwhuptheirpunkasses, thosesonsofbitches!!!

vvvmmmvvvrrvv... AAH!!! Toomuchpressure!!!

The future. (-1)

Cryptopotamus (460702) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467504)

The sun rose over the horizon as the new day awakened. Its beams of piercing light penetrated the office window that Rob sat in. He had fallen asleep at his desk again after a long night of coding a new Microsoft Flash 2005 game for his web site. Rob turned his head away from the sun. His skin was pale and his eyes never could quite adjust to the yellow glow of sunlight. He preferred the subtle gray-green shine from 44-watt florescent bulbs. Sleeping at his desk became a nasty habit. The ergochair his boss bought from Thinkgeek.com was too comfortable.

Rob finally pulled himself out of the ergochair, reaching for a bottle of Bawls. He unscrewed the cap and swallowed down the last five milliliters. "I don't know why I bought seven cases of this shit with my signing bonus," he thought to himself. He looked at his watch: it read 0000 0111 0011 0010. Damn, the boss will be here 30 minutes! Rob knew he smelled like a goat. Techies always smelled like field animals after coding Flash subroutines for 19 hours straight. Rob's boss, Jeff, wasn't digging the fact that he always smelled like the dumpster outside Chili's. Rob found some handiwipes in a bottom drawer of his desk and ran to the restroom. He stripped down and applied the handiwipe bathing technique he had learned from an O'Reily book. Four minutes later, Rob emerged from the wrong restroom smelling like a new man.

Jeff arrived right on time as always. He had a mug of Starbucks in his left hand, and a copy of the Wall Street Journal in the right hand. Ever since that old Slashdot web site was taken offline by the Scientologist lawyers, Jeff devoted more time to reading newspapers and current event magazines. He finally figured out how to juggle stock options and improve his golf swing. Jeff strolled in and passed Rob's office door. He said hello to his childhood buddy. Rob muttered, "Yo, what's up! Look at this gold chest I found in Everquest Reality." Jeff walked in, stepping over a box of Bawls, looking at the 50cm flatscreen monitor. "Yeah, that's pretty cool, Rob." Jeff said. Rob knew he wasn't supposed to play games during work ours, but Jeff never forced him to stop. Jeff walked out of the office saying, "Remember we have that contract negotiation with Mr. Gates this afternoon. Be sure to have your suit and tie on before we leave for his office." Rob waved his and returned to his skirmish in Everquest. Jeff walked to his office hoping that he won't embarrass the company again this afternoon.

To be continued...

What a waste of caffeine... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467505)

I mean 3 tonnes of powdered powered caffeine sitting on the Big Island? Hawaii anyone? =)

Seinfeld and Gary Gilmore (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467509)

I don't know what show it was, but I just saw Seinfeld say that Gary Gilmore was strapped to an electric chair. He was shot in the heart. You'd think he'd have gotten that deail correct.

Slow hunters? (5, Funny)

ElJefe (41718) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467511)

On a smaller scale, of course, there is always hand-hunting, which is how Nilton Matayoshi has spent the last year capturing 40 frogs.
40 frogs in a year? That's less than one a week! If you're going to have a hobby, at least be good at it...

Re:Slow hunters? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467540)

They should just pay some kids $1 for each frog they caputure. I used to catch frogs with a net back when I has younger, and I could get at least 10 a night. They make noise that you follow, then you use the net to get close to them and make them jump. Once you know where it is, you capture it. Humans were faster than frogs the last time I checked.

Re:Slow hunters? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467595)

Hell, when I was a kid, me and my brother used to see how many frogs we could catch in an evening. We'd count and let them go (good for keeping the mosquitos under control)
Easy to catch 20 frogs a night, bare handed.

Re:Slow hunters? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467627)

Sure it wasn't the same frog 20 times? :)

Re:Slow hunters? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467692)

i have to admit that towards the end of the evening, they did seem to move a lot more slowly...

Re:Slow hunters? (0)

Cenam (567580) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467703)

heh...when i was about 12 i managed to catch somewhere near a hundred in an area that was far from infested, in a day..if it takes a year to catch 40 either this guy has been stoned for a solid year and just catching the ones that stare at the colors when they breath in the smoke, or there is no infestation:)

I thought amphibians were disappearing? (4, Interesting)

geoffsmith (161376) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467517)

Amphibians, particularly frogs, are supposed to be an indicator species for pollution. From all accounts I've read they are dying off in great numbers around the world. Maybe because the live near the surface of the water, they are more sensitive to things like acid rain?

So why all the frogs? Hawaii... also Australia has also had a heck of a time with frogs, and in BC we've had a problem with huge frogs (the tadpoles are the size of your fist, and mature frogs so big they have been eating the ducks!) Just seems like contradictory evidence to me, maybe some species are heartier than others?

Websurfing done right! StumbleUpon [stumbleupon.com]

Re:I thought amphibians were disappearing? (1)

terradyn (242947) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467534)

These frogs were introduced by a foreign tourist. They are not native to Hawaii. The frogs have no natural enemies now in Hawaii because it is an island and no predators for the frogs evolved. These frogs populate extremely quickly leading to the death of the insect population that native birds and animals feel on there. As a result many species are dying off.

This is all from a TLC show a week or so ago... A little late on the article guys.

Re:I thought amphibians were disappearing? (2)

FFFish (7567) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467619)

in BC we've had a problem with huge frogs

Er, eh? We have? Tell on, do. I'd like to see some of those monsters!

Re:I thought amphibians were disappearing? (1)

bleckywelcky (518520) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467626)


Geez Louise! Tadpoles the size of your fist eh? Know of any articles or pictures that shows these things in reference? I found a few things on google about BC frogs, but not much talking about these problematic huge frogs.

Re:I thought amphibians were disappearing? (1)

mindstrm (20013) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467628)

Sounds like bunk to me. Frogs eating ducks? Give me a break.

When will slashdot add... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467522)


Fortean science to its tag line?

"News for nerds, Stuff that Matters, Fortean Science"

Sounds good. At least it might stop tenth graders from trying to debunk -real- science...

The big buildup (-1)

Chinese Karma Whore (560174) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467529)

Fate, chance, karma, whatever you wanna call it -- when Miss Fortune spreads her legs for you, you're already in over your head. Believe me, I know.

Bunny LaFever looked like a dame with more curves and venom than Reggie Peeler's Land O' Snakes. But she wasn't a real dame. She was a she-devil. That golden bush of hers was nothing but a welcome mat to hell.

But now I'm getting way ahead of myself. Bunny had a way of doing that to jerks like me. She twisted us inside out and turned our heads around so we couldn't think straight anymore. So lemme begin at the beginning ...

Carnies got a word for a crooked game operator like me. They call me "Flattie" cuz I'll flat-out rob you and make you like it.

My name's Randy Everhard and I've got a million ways to take your money. One of my personal favorites is the "hopper shot." It's tossing softballs into toilet seats, which you've seen on every midway in your life. I could gaff the joint to make it impossible to win.

But where's the fun in that? I work it so any chucklehead can win all night long. Cuz once I've hooked a live one into thinking he can take me for a ride, that's when I nail him with the "build-up." Caught up in the excitement of winning game after game, the rube's built up to play twenty games at two bucks a pop. And the only prize he's going home with is a teddy bear that cost me three shekels per, wholesale. You do the math, Einstein.

The problem with selling three-dollar plush for forty scoots is that the build-up only pays off if you've got a steady string of suckers. And that night was turning out to be a real larry. The Laff Riot carnival was a flattie's wet dream. The grab joints and flashy rides were a front for the real action: flat stories, alibi and percentage joints, crap tables, slot machines, fortune wheels.

The show was running wide open. Everybody crooked and every joint gaffed and nobody doing a damn thing to stop it. I figured the cops were greased slicker 'n Liberace's asshole. It should've been like shooting trout in a barrel. Too bad nobody was taking my bait. I was up shit creek without a paddle to piss on.

My first goddamn night with the show, and already I was itchy for a new angle.

I can't remember which one of them I saw first: the blonde come-on dressed like she had an exhibitionist streak a mile wide or the square in the coke bottle glasses who was eyeballing her like she was nothing but something to look at. Of course, that Coppertone beauty really was something to look at. She was turning heads and raising dicks all over the place. But I didn't like him getting his eyes all over this piece of 100 percent corn-fed cocktease.

She was stacked like a double-decker Ferris wheel with nipples that could cut glass. The red double-O's stenciled on her football jersey were stretched over humongous hooters. She looked like a shooting gallery, bursting at the seams. You couldn't miss those twin titty targets. I'm talking knockers so big you could still see them when she turned around. And believe you me, she was one woman who looked as good going as she did coming.

She wore a pair of daring Daisy Dukes that were so short and tight her crotch sucked them in. The denim over her ass was thread-bare, blown out like a retread. And if that wasn't enough, she was doing a number on a grape Popsicle to make your peter wish it was frozen on a stick. That girl was one carnival ride I wanted to jump on quick, and I didn't care how many tickets it cost.

In my racket, though, business comes before pleasure. And this looked like a golden opportunity to work the key scam. It's the oldest con in the carny book.

I jumped the counter and made my way over to the chump with the steamed-up glasses. I was like, "Hot enough for ya? And I ain't talking about the weather, fella." At first he didn't buy it when I told him I was the "manager" of this fine talent. He just stood there mopping his brow with a hanky.

"I don't fuck chickens and I don't shit feathers," I said, "and I wouldn't lie about a piece of ass like that, neither." I gave myself a hard-on feeding him the fast talk: screwing her would make a man think he died and gone to heaven, where the streets are paved with solid gold snatch.

"She's a sight for sore eyes, ain't she? And if you think I'm giving you lip, you oughta see her go to town on a dick. Life-transforming, friend. Life-transforming." I pulled out an old key I kept for just such an occasion. Dangling it before his bug eyes, I spieled how it was the key to her room at some motel outside of town. "I'm talking once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, pal. She's the reason hard-ons were made."

He swallowed it all -- hook, line and sinker.

Chuckling over what he was going to tell his wife when he came home minus his paycheck, I made my way over to the sultry sex kitten. She was throwing heat like a furnace. Melting chocolate bars at twenty paces. It was too hot to fuck, but next to her, that scorcher felt like a cool, seaside breeze.

"I just made you twenty bucks, and all you had to do was stand here looking gorgeous, Gorgeous." She didn't say anything, just looked me up and down and blinked those big baby blues. The sheen of sweat on her face glowed under the neon lights. She'd sucked all the flavor out of the end of the Popsicle, so the tip was white.

I fished out a crisp, new bill and passed it over. She let it rest in the palm of her hand as she stared at it, confused. She tried giving it back to me, but I stopped her. "See that guy over there?" I asked, stepping aside to give her a glimpse. "He just paid me a lot of money to sleep with you."

He what?" she goes, insulted. She threw down what was left of her Popsicle and took a step closer. Her eyes burned like a butane flame. Like most women, she looked better when she was steamed. But I didn't want her making a scene. She was liable to blow the act.

"Don't get yer panties in a bunch," I said, shutting her cakehole with my hand. I told her about the con and then nervously took my hand away. I was sure she was gonna blow up again. But she kept quiet. I told her we had to scram and didn't give her a chance to say no. I just put my arm around her waist and steered her toward the exit gates. I gave Pops a back-handed wave as we booked outta there double-time.

My dick is long and my cons are short. Cop and blow, that's my motto -- take the money and run. Otherwise things got a way of getting ugly.

Two minutes later, we were hauling ass down the highway in my supercharged Chevy Menace. It was an acid green two-door with cheetah seat covers, four on the floor and dual exhaust. Twin cams and 440 horses under the hood.

"Say," I said, "what's your name, anyway?"

I was hoping to get to know every inch of her better. She smelled like coconut oil. Her tanned skin gave off heat like asphalt that'd been baking in the sun all day.

"Bunny," she goes. "Bunny LaFever." She was a real piece, too. I couldn't wait to do all sorts of dirty things to her. "How much you take him for?" she asked. "Two-fifty." In actuality I scored three-fifty. But if there's one thing I know about women, it's never tell them exactly how much money you've got.

Back at my room at the God bless America Truckstop Motel, she showed me that that sweet and innocent show was just a put-on. I was glad, though. I prefer a girl with some experience under her belt.

Before I knew it, she was all over me like stink on shit. Purple from the Popsicle, her tongue sprung to the back of my throat and then snaked all over the inside of my mouth like she was mining the gold fillings out of my teeth. Despite all the tongue wrasslin,' her hands were nowhere near where I wanted them to be.

My dick had been so hard for so long I thought it would blast off like a rocket, but she kept her distance. The teasing was cute at first but enough was enough. I grabbed her hands and planted them on the tent pole in my pants.

She pulled away and took a few steps back.

"You trying to insult me? You think you can have this body for free?" Bunny squeezed her 'lopes together, serving them up for my hungry eyes: "These tits alone cost five bucks to look at."

I chuckled nervously. "C'mon," I go, "quit screwing around."

"I'm totally serious. Five bucks or I'm gone."

I started laughing for real, digging the little swindler. What else could I do but pay up? She had me right were she wanted me.

This was one of those times in a man's life when he knows his dick's doing the brainwork but he doesn't care. Whatever the dick wants, the dick gets. That right there's the whole story of my life.

I plucked a five-spot from my wallet and waved it like a flag of surrender. She just looked at it. "I don't want your money now," she goes. "Pay me later."

"Whatever you say." And I just eased back on the bed to enjoy the show.

She peeled off her T-shirt and out bounced those giant, all-natural juggs. She had razor sharp tan lines from the sling of a skimpy bikini top. You could tell from her nips that the air-conditioning was on full-blast.

Bunny danced around the room, wiggling and shaking everything her momma gave her. I looked her up and down until I could've guessed her weight. She had all the right parts in all the right places and then some.

She neared the bed and leaned over me to let those massive, all-American melons swing inches above my face. "Wanna taste them?" she goes. As if she had to ask.

I lifted my head to suck the tantalizing titties into my mouth, but she snatched them away.

"Five bucks," she goes.

"All right, five bucks."

"Five bucks each, big spender."

"You got it."

"Pay me later," she cooed, and moved closer to bury me beneath her treasure chest. "Mmm," she purred, "you suck real good."

"Damn straight," I mumbled. "You're getting my money's worth."

She only laughed as her fingers spider-walked down to my crotch and unzipped my fly. "You'd like a tit-fuck, wouldn't you?"

It wasn't a question. It was a statement of fact. Some girls are mind readers, but Bunny LaFever was the first dick reader I ever had the pleasure to meet.

"Twenty bucks," she barked.

I was like, "A bargain at twice the price. Pay you later?"

"That's right, bright boy."

We switched places on the bed so that she was on her back. I kicked off my shoes and pulled down my pants and underwear. This dick of mine's got its own zip code and time zone.

When she gripped the shaft, her fingers didn't reach all the way around. She was like, "Lucky for you I'm still in my size-is-everything phase."

"Me, too," I said, dropping to my knees to straddle her. My hard-on slipped between her cleavage like a hot dog in its steamed bun. She pressed them together to make the sandwich good and tight as I began my strokes.

I humped her hooters harder to push my dick closer to her succulent mouth. She stuck out her pink tongue and tickled the tip. Back and forth it fluttered over the head.

"There's a freebie," she giggled. "But I won't take one in the mouth for less than twenty."

"How much to swallow?"

She had to think that one over. "Thirty," she answered. "And that's only cuz I like you."

I dismounted and stood beside the bed. She sat on the edge of the mattress to let her mouth get better acquainted with my cock. Her tongue twirled over my shaft until it looked like a monument of polished marble.

She blew me good and slow, repeatedly bringing me to the edge of orgasm and then stopping until the urge melted away.

The build-up felt so good it hurt. I never begged anyone for anything before. But tortured by her talented tongue, I was actually begging for mercy.

After some more tongue lashing, she finally let me fill her mouth. She swallowed, too, and it felt like my whole body was sliding down with it.

Hyperactive frogs. (1)

bsdfish (518693) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467531)

You know, I'm sure there must be a better way to eliminate frogs than to overdose them on caffeine. The fact that they are amphibians means that they absorb a lot of things through their skin; I'm sure it would be possible to find something that these frogs can not stand but is rather innocuous to other species and just spread that around the perimeter of the hotel, or whatever else wants to be frog free. As for the caffeine . . . I'll take it. Mmmm, 3 tons of caffeine . . . I can stay up for weeks!

Forget the frogs! (1)

gila_monster (544999) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467533)

How do we get to all that powdered caffeine??!??

OOooooooh, yeah......

Re:Forget the frogs! (2)

cduffy (652) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467553)

You don't want to. In substantial concentrations, it's poisonous.

Yea great (2)

GMontag (42283) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467545)

Yes, alleged tree huggers, mod me down.

The feds just can't quit, why the hell is it fed business if an infistation arrives to any State and that State is not allowed to eradicate the infevction?

Re:Yea great (2)

King_TJ (85913) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467576)

My thoughts exactly! Once again, the federal govt. has to nose into what should be a state's own business and "protect" everyone from themselves.

I suppose they're going to try to justify it by claiming the frogs "crossed state lines", making it a federal case?

In the long run, I don't think something like a frog infestation problem is going to be cured without putting some sort of toxin or poison out. The sad thing is, there's probably a substance much more harmful to the ecosystem than some powdered caffeine that will end up being legal to use, simply because the FDA has already studied it and approved it.

Easy solution (1)

Devil's BSD (562630) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467546)

WhydoesoneneedtoputupwiththeFDAregulations? Iwasn'ttheonewholeftthecanofJoltopen!
(squeak!)

Coqui (1)

spudwiser (124577) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467554)

It's interesting to consider that one island's cultural icon, appearing on everything from school bags to shot glasses, is another island's uber-pest. The coqui's call is measured at roughly 90 decibels. It's driven people out of hotels, including the Ritz-Carlton. At one point, a hotel was offering a $75 bounty per frog... dead or alive.

Chance to support the OSDN.com cabal (1)

4thAce (456825) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467557)

But alas, while the Environmental Protection Agency would grant the Hawaii Department of Agriculture emergency temporary waivers to use caffeine as a pesticide, the EPA required that the infestation sites be monitored before and after application of the super-coffee, which had to be administered by trained, certified pest applicators.

Attention Slashdot administration, this is your cue to insert a helpful banner ad [thinkgeek.com] here.

You're welcome.

Caffeine + Hunting (2, Funny)

sellerdoor (307816) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467560)

Just give the caffeine to the local kids and promise another hit for every frog they can stomp.

I know a lot of little boys would jump at the opportunity.

About coqui (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467562)

I live in Puerto Rico. I've always been thaught that coquis can not live outside of Puerto Rico, so their appearance in Hawaii comes as a surprise to me. The coqui is a "pet of sorts" here, if you bought a souvenir T-Shirt it would most likely have the picture of a coqui in it.

They are rarely heard in cities but they abound in other areas. I know of foreigners how can not handle the sound at first, but after awhile they get accustomed, just like us. (Maybe in Hawaii it got REALLY out of control.) If you can spot a coqui alone (that is, not in deafeaning armies), you'll probably agree that they are quite OK.

At one point coquis were believed to be headed for extinction.

Re:About coqui (1)

skm4jc (577947) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467680)

Personally, I love coquis. I was down in PR myself not long ago, and loved their lullabye song. :-) What I heard was some friggin' MORON brought them to Hawaii b/c they had the brilliant idea that, hey, they're cool in Puerto Rico, why not other tropical islands? Yeah, so much for that. :P Anyways, if there's no natural predators, as is the case in Hawaii, yes, they must be gotten rid of. Kinda like these damn Japanese ladybugs up here that infest our house! Anyone have any suggestions on how to get rid of them!?

No the First Frog to Invade Hawaii (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467564)

Although it doesn't act invasively the green and black poison dart frog has been established on Maui for well over a decade. Also, when I lived on the island of Oahu in the 80's it was quite common for us to catch toads that would breed in flooded paved areas. While freezing works to kill a frog (as mentioned in the article) I prefer to rub ambisol on their head. As for reptiles there is a caecilian of some sort that has become established and I'm sure amphisbeanians have become established I just haven't seen any reports.

Just curious... (2)

mindstrm (20013) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467681)

I assume you meant anbesol..

So rubbing a topical anaesthetic on a frogs head kills it?

And uhh.. why is it you are killing frogs? Serial killer in training?

And in related news... (4, Funny)

bc90021 (43730) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467566)

...a plague of coders descended on Hawaii, eager to get at the caffeine and turn it into code!

Now the Hawaii ag folks have to figure out how to get rid of all the coders. An anonymous source in the state government was quoted as saying "Actually, we're thinking of holding them, and not releasing them. We are going to corner the geek market, and then make a fortune charging other states by the hour."

There is no word from the Whitehouse at this time regarding the swarm of geeks descending on Hawaii, but the President is expected to make a short statement later this evening.

Re:And in related news... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467702)

This just in, the Federal Government has opposed the plans of California to lure geeks away from Hawaii with action games such as Quake 3 and suites of lans.

"Those games are just too violent. Since we know that no one is responsible enough to actually raise their kids, we have to step in and put a stop to such things." One government official said. "Think of the children!" She later added.

Caffeine (1)

Medevo (526922) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467572)

Boy Not only does caffeine stimulate the central nervous system, increase blood pressure, constrict veins and arteries, and suppress you bodies natural sleep chemical, but it kills frogs!!!

Next headline: Coffee and jolt cola found to help cure cancer

Could you also imagine getting hold of the powder they use, better drink mix the alcohol

Medevo

Re:Caffeine (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467634)

Next headline: Coffee and jolt cola found to help cure cancer

Well, caffeine molecules absorb free radicals... Then again, caffeine is a mutagen...

A Potentially Lucrative Propositionů :-) (2, Interesting)

NOT-2-QUICK (114909) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467573)

First, approximately halfway through the article, we come to learn that "At one point, a hotel was paying bounty hunters $75 a frog, dead or alive."

We then learn later in the article that some areas possess frog population densities of up to "20,000 individuals an acre".

Now perhaps it is just me, but does this not sound as though it could be a quite lucrative prospect for a person with the appropriate amount of ingenuity and good old-fashioned entrepreneurial spirit... Just with some quick math, the potential industry of ridding the islands from the scourge of uninvited amphibians could be worth as much as $1.5 million per acre.

Of course, this is purely theoretical and such activities would hardly amount to such monetary windfalls, but it does make you think!!!

Re:A Potentially Lucrative Propositionů :-) (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467636)

or perhaps a poor student like myself could fund a new car by hopping a plane to honolulu, hawaii and playing whack-a-frog = )

naturally, i would have to obtain a stick upon my arrival, as it would be considered a potentially lethal weapon and a threat to national security, if carried on board a plane.

Frogs on Caffiene (2, Funny)

Eddy Johnson (467614) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467582)

"Ribbitribbitribbitribbitribbitribbitribbitribbitr ibbitribbitribbitribbitribbit..."

One might think they've got a Hawaiian Frog techno mix running on repeat on the beaches.

yea, but... (0)

banka (464527) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467587)

if all your friends licked toad, would you lick it too??

GRAMMAR (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467593)

EPAs

NOT EPA's

Do we really need a lesson in plurals versus possessives?

Editors, you lazy bastards who now CHARGE us for access to this site - DO SOME WORK. Open source philosophy, at its finest!

Re:GRAMMAR (2)

Guppy06 (410832) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467623)

Um... if you bothered to read the whole sentence you'd see that it's supposed to be posessive (as in "the application regulations of the EPA"). Or do we have multiple Environmental Protection Agencies in the US? Where are they getting all their funding?

Nice try at trolling. I give it an E for effort.

Re:GRAMMAR (1)

damien_kane (519267) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467651)

Can you give me an E as well? Caffeine just doesn't work well enough anymore... Computer games don't affect children... If Pac-Man affected us as kids we'd spend all of our time running around in darkened rooms eating magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music... Oh... Wait...

Re:GRAMMAR (1)

damien_kane (519267) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467641)

EPAs

NOT EPA's


From the /. article:
The EPA's application regulations

Actually the usage is correct, as the application regulations belong to the EPA, and as a result the possessive is the correct tense.

To be completely grammatically correct, the sentence should have read:
The application regulations of the EPA apparently proved too burdensome, and the stuff sits in a warehouse.

The A/C who decided to enlighten us with his immaculate grasp of the English language must be American, but at least his spelling was correct...

sorry (2)

Lord Omlette (124579) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467601)

but doesn't raw caffeine kill humans on contact? Absorbed through skin & all? Are they sure this is a good thing to be spraying around?

"The federal regulations proved too burdensome."

Hello?! Aren't these regulations in place to prevent we-had-to-destroy-the-village-to-save-it syndrome?

Oh my god, I can't resist (4, Funny)

abe ferlman (205607) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467606)

We've come to one of the finest lilypads in the world and replaced this frog's caffeine powder with Folger's Crystals.

Let's see if she notices.

"Croak!"

There you have it folks!

Ya, but caffeine really is not that good (2)

Aqua OS X (458522) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467607)

Don't get me wrong, I like caffeine, but it is not good for you. We have lots of studies to show this. I highly doubt that it is good for mother earth as well.

Re:Ya, but caffeine really is not that good (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467667)

True, but I'd rather they use caffeine than some man-made pesticide. When killing specific things is the intention, I'll take naturally-occuring (in some things, at least) over artificial chemicals any day. Our artificial chemicals have a nasty tendancy to kill/harm everything in addition to the targetted life form (DEET anyone?).

In other news (1)

NickRob (575331) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467612)

The Frogs have set up a Lan to properly channel their caffeine highs.

It's not giving caffeine to them.... (3, Funny)

DarkHelmet (120004) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467618)

It's taking it away from them that'll do the trick.

Just think about it... All those mornings that you rely on coffee to go to work. All those mornings that you need something to keep you awake, and not sleep in until noon. It's what prevents you from making your head explode.

Get them hooked on coffee. Not just something in the water, but the frigging powdered kind. Kind of like a drug addict, where they inject it. Frogs are different though. It would diffuse right through their skin.

Then, when you have an army of frogs addicted to the funny powder, stop giving it to them, and see what they do.

Re:It's not giving caffeine to them.... (2, Informative)

Medevo (526922) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467676)

I would wonder if the frogs would set up rehab centers, or would they just take it cold turkey.

Seriously Caffeine withdrawal in frogs could be quite a interesting phenomena,
The website Neuroscience for Kids - Frogs and Caffeine [washington.edu] mentions that a overdose of caffeine is lethal to frogs.


I would only wonder how?

Medevo

Cats might eat frogs (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467621)

My cat would go right up to the waters edge and hook frogs with a claw, throw them into the grass and do whatever cats do with frogs. But these were bullfrogs.

A small frog would most likely be a treat for them. But in all reality, if there are as many frogs as they indicate, other creatures who like to eat them will multiply. Vultures, mice, rats, opossums, racoons, armidillos, crows, and snakes, come to the top of the head. The problem might take care of itself.

Cats might eat "poisonous" frogs (1)

BakaMark (531548) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467682)

A small frog would most likely be a treat for them.

There are several things that Australians found out about "cane toads". For a start the stench when you happen to kill one. Then there is the fact that "cane toads" are "poisonous". Many of the Australian indenginous fauna have been dying off because of their (failed) attempts to actually consume these things. Then there have been the cats and dogs that have died as well.

I'm the one in the frog suit... (1)

Nobody's Hero (552712) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467644)

sweet...free caffiene?

No more drives to the coffee shop I'll just pull on a fake frog suit and pretend to tbe the world's biggest frog.

And then I'll be there king...

and once i've raised my army of super frogs "hopped" up on caffeine I will take over the world AHA HAHAHAHAHA!!!
In all serious though has no one thought what this will actually do to the surronding enviroment?

I live in southeren ontario Canada, recently we have had an insect infestation in the farmers' crops. So in order to control it we released thosands and thousands of geneticly enhanced lady bugs that would target the mites that were targeting the crops.

The mite problem is gone but now we have a infestation of super bugs that won't die. I have seen entire sides of apartment buildings coated with the things...In novemeber no less(when there shouldn't be any of the critters left).

My point here is when will we learn to stop screwing with mother nature...

Photos (3, Informative)

loconet (415875) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467646)

This page [hear.org] has some photos and more information about the frogs. They're very small!!

Java anyone? *ribbit* (1)

Senior Frac (110715) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467659)

Where's a Starbucks when you damn well need one?!
They can have all of ours!

powdered caffeine? (1)

neo8750 (566137) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467669)

Am I the only one who though of this as a cool table condiment. it would take pizza to a new level.

The FFIX Solution. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467671)

Just send in Quina. S/he loves them.

Plaque of frogs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467675)

Would that give you dragon breath?

Caffeine can hurt you too! (1)

Kanan (527196) | more than 12 years ago | (#3467695)

This is from http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/cafff.html
Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant that interferes with a neurotransmitter in the brain called adenosine. Caffeine also acts at other places in the body to increase heart rate, constrict blood vessels, relax air passages, and affect muscles. An overdose of caffeine is lethal to the coqui frog. Other animals, including humans, are also at risk from the dangers of caffeine. Therefore, only personnel from the Hawaii Department of Agriculture are allowed to use caffeine to control the frogs and they must monitor the effects of the drug in other species. Homeowners in Hawaii are encouraged to capture frogs by hand and contact the Hawaii Department of Agriculture.
Maybe the 110 mg of caffeine I get from pills, not including the vast amounts of tea I drink isn't as good for me as I thought..... They have a link to the frog's mating call too. After listening to it, I can't blame them for wanting to get rid of them.

The real solution is easy... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467697)

Two words...

Frog Baseball

All a matter of dosage... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3467701)

This is nothing new. Giving a frog a dosage that wouldn't kill a human could very well kill it because it is smaller. Editors, this isn't very cutting edge.
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