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Top Ten New Copyright Crimes

timothy posted more than 11 years ago | from the sarcastic-followups-are-the-best-kind dept.

United States 42

anon writes: "Jamie Kellner, chairman and CEO of Turner Broadcasting (an AOL Time Warner company), was recently interviewed on the future of television. In the interview, Mr. Kellner said some very interesting things, including characterizing those who skip television commercials as thieves.' To help develop Mr. Kellner's unfortunately common (at least in Hollywood) view of copyright, LawMeme offers the top ten new copyright crimes, as well as further choice quotes and commentary from Mr. Kellner's interview."

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42 comments

Additional Future Crimes (2, Funny)

SoVeryWrong (576783) | more than 11 years ago | (#3478748)

#11 - Averting your eyes from roadside billboards long enough to watch where you're going.
#12 - Being Blind or Deaf...

wait a sec... (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3478760)

Rerun... [slashdot.org]

Re:wait a sec... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3478782)

Holly repost, Batman!

Re:wait a sec... (1)

huberj (12015) | more than 11 years ago | (#3478796)

Not only that, it has the exact same title! Hmm, perhaps they could search for previous postings before posting a new story?

Is that too much to ask?

Re:wait a sec... (1)

Louis_Wu (137951) | more than 11 years ago | (#3480249)

In the same section, less than a week later, with exactly the same link, while the old story is still visible in the Slashbox.

Hemos (1)

anthony_dipierro (543308) | more than 11 years ago | (#3478764)

Hemos [slashnet.org]:
Here's the reality:
You block ads.
You cost us money.
Ultimately, I mean.

Re:Hemos (2)

Eimi Metamorphoumai (18738) | more than 11 years ago | (#3478903)

What he said is true, though. Each page you hit costs them a small amount in bandwidth and CPU time. Note that he didn't say "If you block ads, you're a thief" or "If you block ads, you're stealing our content" or "It's part of the contract between us and you that you read and click on our ads." What he said was completely correct, and in the midst of a plea to support them by other means than advertising.

Re:Hemos (0, Offtopic)

anthony_dipierro (543308) | more than 11 years ago | (#3478978)

CmdrTaco went on to call alterslash [alterslash.org] "stealing". Yes, Jamie Kellner took it one step further than Hemos and CmdrTaco, but Jamie Kellner was also interviewed by a third party, not thrown softballs selected by his own staff.

Talking of Hemos... (-1, Troll)

TheReverand (95620) | more than 11 years ago | (#3479025)

Here's a message to Hemos.

Please fix the page widening bug. I am prepared to
sacrifice this account to protest against your "it's
not my fault" attitude. You're happy enough to include
workarounds to fix bugs in Mozilla, why not IE?

See, it was fine so long as only -1 accounts widened
pages. Unfortunately, the behaviour of your co-editor
Michael Simms means we have to browse at -1 to see the
truth, as opposed to what you want us to see.

Just think what would happen if everyone had your
attitude... No workarounds, no interoperability... The
Internet would cease to function. Now grow up. Thankyou.

I am waiting to be modslapped. Those in favour who dare,
mod this up as a protest against Hemos' childish behaviour. So far a half dozen individuals have
spoken out against the Users... Will more join?

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Thankyou for your time.

Re:Talking of Hemos... (-1, Offtopic)

anthony_dipierro (543308) | more than 11 years ago | (#3479067)

You're wasting your time. You're not going to win. If anything this silly display will only cause Hemos to act even more childish.

Ah hell, go ahead. Maybe it'll get more people to come to my site.

Re:Talking of childish (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3479999)

If there are any serious moderators, drop this troll under the bridge he belongs to. I am all in favour of removing mod privileges from people who up-mod this sort of off-topic drivel.

Re:Talking of Hemos... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3480021)

If idiots like you didn't do this, we wouldn't need any fixing in the first place. Die, troll bastard.

Bathrooms Should Rank Higher! (2)

4of12 (97621) | more than 11 years ago | (#3478808)


Just as I said [slashdot.org] earlier.

My mistake, though, I guess he figures it's OK if you can go to the bathroom in 30 seconds.

Why is he this tolerant? Maybe going to the bathroom counts as a sufficiently similar experience to enduring commercials.

This rerun brought to you... (3, Funny)

knabar (261612) | more than 11 years ago | (#3478892)

...because we were told some of you did not look at the ads shown with the story the first time.

Re:This rerun brought to you... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3480100)

I meant to mod you as funny, but accidentally hit "overrated." Since I couldn't mod your post again, I modded up another post to ameliorate the impact on your Karma. Sorry.

Re:This rerun brought to you... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3480115)

Shit: should have said another of your posts . . .

Re:This rerun brought to you... (1)

knabar (261612) | more than 11 years ago | (#3483575)

Thanks...

After posting, I saw there were about 2 gazillion other jokes about this, but I could not imagine mine being overrated at 1 :-)

We need T-Shirts. (3, Interesting)

SocialWorm (316263) | more than 11 years ago | (#3478931)

More public exposure for Mr. Kellner's ideas would be most helpful. As the previous story mentioned, he is our "friend" due to his downright draconian opinions. Any guesses on how long it will take Copyleft or Thinkgeek to do something like this? I know 2600 used to have an anti-Jack-Valenti shirt.

Also: There is an anti-Kellner Open Directory Section. It seems rather sparse though. http://www.dmoz.org/Arts/Television/Networks/WB/An ti-Kellner [dmoz.org]
The sites mention the cancelation of the Animaniacs, but nothing too serious.

tis a duplicate (0, Redundant)

jeffy124 (453342) | more than 11 years ago | (#3478984)

old news [slashdot.org]

Re:tis a duplicate (1)

jeffy124 (453342) | more than 11 years ago | (#3479118)

that's really interesting, now that i've taken a closer look. Exact same Headline, and exact same link! IIRC, slashdot uses a link filter to prevent duplicate articles. what happened to that filter on this story?

Hello Hemos (-1, Troll)

TheReverand (95620) | more than 11 years ago | (#3478991)

Dear Hemos,

Please fix the page widening bug. I am prepared to
sacrifice this account to protest against your "it's
not my fault" attitude. You're happy enough to include
workarounds to fix bugs in Mozilla, why not IE?

See, it was fine so long as only -1 accounts widened
pages. Unfortunately, the behaviour of your co-editor
Michael Simms means we have to browse at -1 to see the
truth, as opposed to what you want us to see.

Just think what would happen if everyone had your
attitude... No workarounds, no interoperability... The
Internet would cease to function. Now grow up. Thankyou.

I am waiting to be modslapped. Those in favour who dare, mod this up as a protest against Hemos' childish behaviour.

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Thankyou for your time.

Re:Hello Hemos (-1, Offtopic)

anthony_dipierro (543308) | more than 11 years ago | (#3479188)

Unfortunately, the behaviour of your co-editor Michael Simms means we have to browse at -1 to see the truth, as opposed to what you want us to see.

You're a lot braver than I am. Is there anywhere I can find a list of these unfairly moderated posts? I have a Journal entry [slashdot.org] up to try to collect them, if not.

Re:Hello Hemos (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3479216)

iirc, it was jamie, not hemos who said they wont fix it because it only affects IE.

Re:Hello Hemos (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3479222)

MOD this parent up. He is right. The uncaring fags that are our editors STEAL content from OTHER PLACES, then fuckin spray ads. These are the same fags that make fair use a lot greyer because they steal content. The regurgitate and link, and think that that is worth fuckin ads, they never post, then the never even address bugs in slashhack code on sourceforge AND THE SEARCH ENGINE HERE SUCKS FUCKING DONKEY DICK.
I'll draw some fire with this. Fuck HEMOS, fuck slashfag, I hope all the editors here get fired and some real people who actually give a fuck about /. take over.
GOAT KORAN [goatse.cx]
Classic 1 HIT ME IN THE SHITTER BABY, UGH HUH [es.org]
Classic 2 Oh yeah, in the shitter some more, in the shitter. [es.org]
Classic 3 More Ass stretchin goodness. [es.org]
Female Goater My pussy is too small for this melon. [es.org]
Goatse Grandpas - GRANPA GOAT S3X0R5 [es.org]
Son of a Goat - Holy fucking son of a goat. [conhugeco.org]
1 Oh, pardon me sir, would you happen to have any ANAL LUBE? [conhugeco.org]
2 UNGH FART, pssssbt, ungh, tweeep, squeaaaaaak ungh [conhugeco.org]
3 PFFFFFFFFFFT AHH pffft [conhugeco.org]
4 FOOOOOOOOOOOOF blud dribble dribble [conhugeco.org]
Prime Number Shitting Goatse SE THE Prym3 number flow like the river SHIT [massivewang.com]
Goatse Returns! Fuck yeah, the goat man is a coming back to Trollaxor [trollaxor.com]
1 You Will Love to Goatse on all the things of Internet.

2 Will Search and initiate to new members, and you will show the way to the light (www.goatse.es.org)
3 When they return of to see our God Goatse, you mock of them.
4 To fuck, to fuck that are shocked the planets!

Goatsex goatsex GOATSEX Goat Sex animal sex bestiality
Of all the animal sex in the world, the one that suffers the most abuse from modern sexual habits is the large barnyard, otherwise known as the animalsex Our animals were intended by nature to function as a smoothly flowing sex systems, in order to promptly flush digestive wastes from the body.
The large barnyard is one of the four main elimination systems of the world. In Chinese medicine allthe internal sex are paired. The large barnyard is paired with the zoo. Your puppy (dog/horse) is made up of four main sections:
(1) ascending, (2) transverse, (3) descending sex & the (4) sigmoid. It's total length is approximately 5 to 5 1/2 feet and it ends at the anus where feces eliminated from the body. The small pony's length is approx. 26 ft. long. They are called large and small not because of their length but because of their width & diameter.


* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * [goatse.cx]
gcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc cg
oc/ccccc\ccccccccccccc\cccccccccccc/cccc\ccccc cco
a|ccccccc|ccccccccccccc\cccccccccc|cccccc|ccc ccca
t|ccccccc`.ccccccccccccc|ccccccccc|ccccccc:c cccct
s`cccccccc|ccccccccccccc|cccccccc\|ccccccc| cccccs
ec\ccccccc|c/ccccccc/cc\\\ccc--__c\\cccccc c:cccce
xcc\cccccc\/ccc_--~~cccccccccc~--__|c\ccc cc|ccccx
*ccc\cccccc\_-~cccccccccccccccccccc~-_\c ccc|cccc*
gcccc\_ccccc\cccccccc_.--------.______\ |ccc|ccccg
occcccc\ccccc\______//c_c___c_c(_(__>c c\ccc|ccc co
accccccc\ccc.ccCc___)cc______c(_(____>cc|cc/cc c ca
tccccccc/\c|cccCc____)/cccccc\c(_____>cc|_/ccc c ct
scccccc/c/\|cccC_____)ccccccc|cc(___>ccc/cc\cc c cs
eccccc|ccc(ccc_C_____)\______/cc//c_/c/ccccc\c cce
xccccc|cccc\cc|__ccc\\_________//c(__/ccccccc |ccx
*cccc|c\cccc\____)ccc`----ccc--'cccccccccccc c|cc*
gcccc|cc\_cccccccccc___\ccccccc/_cccccccccc _/c|cg
occc|cccccccccccccc/cccc|ccccc|cc\cccccccc cccc|co
accc|ccccccccccccc|cccc/ccccccc\cc\cccccc ccccc|ca
tccc|cccccccccc/c/cccc|ccccccccc|cc\cccc ccccccc|t
sccc|ccccccccc/c/cccccc\__/\___/cccc|cc cccccccc|s
ecc|ccccccccccc/cccccccc|cccc|ccccccc| ccccccccc|e
xcc|cccccccccc|ccccccccc|cccc|ccccccc |ccccccccc|x
* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *

Re:Hello Hemos (-1, Offtopic)

huberj (12015) | more than 11 years ago | (#3479231)

I'm confused...what bug? What happens with a wide comment string in IE?

I don't have windows here, so I can't see what the bug is...

Re:Hello Hemos (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3479832)

Comments that contain a long line (one with no whitespace) do not wrap. IE treats the long line as an atomic unit, and does not insert a break at any point. In comparison, Mozilla appears to break the line at a / character when it determines it cannot display the full line.

Is this really an IE "bug" per se? Just wondering. Where is the specs as to how a browser SHOULD respond to such a circumstance? Looked through w3c site, but couldn't find anything.

Re:Hello Hemos (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3479553)

Personally, I think someone should track down people who post wide comments and beat the shit out of them. It's no excuse for wide posting just to fix it.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Next I'll start getting spam complaining about open relays in China.

Woah (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3479058)

Deja-vu!

PBS (2)

tps12 (105590) | more than 11 years ago | (#3479230)

The one that says PBS is unfair because of competition is a non-sequitor. It has nothing to do with ad views. It looks to me as if the folks who wrote the story are trying to slip some pro-PBS ideology into a story that would otherwise appeal to Libertarians. Comments?

Re:PBS (1)

uspsguy (541171) | more than 11 years ago | (#3483215)

Sounds like your comment has a strong ANTI-PBS bias. Discounting beg-a-thons, PBS does not run commercials. If skipping commercials on regular TV is against the law, (as suggested) then being able to switch to PBS where there are no commercials is clearly an unfair advantage. Of course, under that premiss, you have to stay tuned and watch all the PBS fundraisers also. I guess you choose how you want your ads: 10 min. out of every 30 or 24 hours in a row every month. I must be just about a tratior, I hahdly watch any TV anymore - what with all the commercials and lousy content. DirecTV - 150 channels of nothing worth watching.

Re:PBS (1)

LinearBob (258695) | more than 11 years ago | (#3489003)

Maybe I have been watching a counterfeit version of PBS, but here in Silly-Con Valley we have our choice of 3 PBS stations. All 3 run several nationally distributed programs, and every one of those programs comes complete with several corporate "underwriting" announcements at both the beginning and the end of each program, and those anouncements look and sound a whole lot like commercials.

So what is this non-sense about PBS being unfair because it's gov'mint financed and does not have ads? Someoone should tell the folks who keep beating their "Pledge Now!" drums that they are well financed by their gov'mint. Or are the folks beating those "Pledge Now!" drums all lying to me about how much it costs them to acquire those ad-laden national programs?

IMHO, the real problem here is that this "friend" of ours apparently thinks our only reason for living is so we can watch ads for and to buy junk we don't really need. I hate to be the bearer of bad news for him, but there is more to life than watching ads and buying "stuff!"

I, for one, happen to enjoy walking on the ocean beach. (One place where I see or hear few ads of any sort.) Does this man actually believe that walking on a beach as I do should be a crime? Does he think I would be better off "enjoying" a nice collection of ads instead of watching a beautiful susnset out over the Pacific ocean?

Gimme a Break! This clown is certifiable!

Glitch in the Matrix? (0, Redundant)

chaobell (167146) | more than 11 years ago | (#3479536)

"Whoa. Deja vu."

"...what?"

"...no, nothing...well, a few days ago I saw an article on Slashdot...and just now, I saw another one just like it."

"How much like it? Was it the same article?"

"Well, it might have been..."

Check your windows, folks!

Michael should sue (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 11 years ago | (#3481346)

Timothy committed copyright theft.

http://slashdot.org/yro/02/05/03/1142220.shtml?t id =133

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