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Weather Balloons & Wireless

Hemos posted more than 12 years ago | from the what-a-wonderful-world dept.

Technology 157

mansa writes "Over at CNN they have an article about a company that wants to expand wireless coverge with weather balloons! I hope it's not just a bunch of hot air! "

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This little ghostse (-1)

GhostseTroll (582659) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751385)

... got first post.

FP reclaimed for the righteous (-1)

mobydill (218466) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751398)

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Re:FP reclaimed for the righteous (-1)

Sexual Asspussy (453406) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751402)

there should be no comma between "nasty" and "manchode".

you're welcome, fruity-ass.

Re:FP reclaimed for the righteous (-1)

mobydill (218466) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751441)

It's The Incredible Hulk's claim to fame, fartsucker.

Hey suck my balls commie (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751445)

You heard me. I just need to fly through here and drop like all that stuff on by.

Re:Hey suck my balls commie (-1)

on by (572414) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751456)

I just need to fly through here and drop like all that stuff on by.

Huh? Me? What did I do?

Re:FP reclaimed for the righteous (-1)

L.Torvalds (548450) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751446)

Do you know that if you change just one letter of Hemos' name, you get 'Humos', which all the arab men love to eat.

Re:FP reclaimed for the righteous (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751609)

You could also get `Homos,' and it's spelled "hummus" you retard.

Re:FP reclaimed for the righteous (-1)

L.Torvalds (548450) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751738)

So, you know all about what the arab men like to eat?

And it is spelled 'Humos', because that is the will of ALLAH!

Re:FP reclaimed for the righteous (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751749)

i thought it was greek.

as a matter of fact, i just had some for lunch today with my stuffed grape leaves.

Re:This little ghostse (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751559)

Hey, I have had enough of this shit! I wanna kill you! You fuckers think you are really special posting all of this shit, huh?! I'm gonna pummel you with my fists of fury!! You fuckin' unemployed virgins! If I knew where you live I would probaly get down on my knees and clean out your asshole with my tongue. Then make sweet love to your wonderful cock and balls! Thank you. May god bless you with a massive hard-on.

Re:This little ghostse (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751600)

stop torturing my piece

AOL 7 IS HERE!! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751680)


AOL 7.0 is here and its alot more fun and a whole lot easier to use! To download the newer edition please click this button!

((Download AOL 7)) []

Barnes & Barnes: "I took a fish head out to see a movie, I didn't have to pay to get it in."

3rd post? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751386)

Third post? This is harder to achieve. :)

Re:3rd post? (-1)

GhostseTroll (582659) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751393)

And I achieved it! in your face! []


Re:3rd post? (-1)

foodb4nk (563115) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751472)

Good Job snagging the 3rd post. Tha my frined is one hard duty to achrive let me the first to welcome you the 3rd post clan... Your one hell of a person my friend

Lets here it FOR MICROSOFT!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751695)

Sun is done! I know it. You know how I know it? Because Solaris is not stable enough to house serious web services. SPARC servers do not scale as well as Dell boxes to handle core applications. The UNIX object model is not crisp, refined or elegant. It is based on proprietary interfaces from C like malloc(), which is a totally proprietary way to allocate memory. Real programmers use DWORD LPCSTR Win32CreateMuchoMemoryForIE6() to get their memory allocated!

Viscera. (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751387)

Enjoy Viscera! []

Re:Viscera. (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751512)

Oh, trotsky was my favorite commie, yes he was! Singing songs to praise the mudderland and the hammer and sickle. Drinking milk and popping and young lasses cherry! Old man trostky, was my favorite commie, yes he was!

Weather balloons (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751388)

A pic of these balloons can be found here []

Re:Weather balloons (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751521)

Lientz was bad. I spanked him. He was bad so I took him over my knee, a 43 year old man, and I spanked him until he could stand no more. I did not enjoy it. 'Twas for his own good. A path to self-destruction he was headed on. I shall spank him in the future if the need arises again. 'Tis the only way.


Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751708)

Sun is done! I know it. You know how I know it? Because Solaris is not stable enough to house serious web services. SPARC servers do not scale as well as Dell boxes to handle core applications. The UNIX object model is not crisp, refined or elegant. It is based on proprietary interfaces from C like malloc(), which is a totally proprietary way to allocate memory. Real programmers use DWORD LPCSTR Win32CreateMuchoMemoryForIE6() to get their memory allocated!

..and to think Linux also uses this ancient and proprietary method to allocate memory just bongles my mind. May the rest in peace as well during the post .net era.

I am a sexy vixen!!! (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751395)

and I also solve mysteries of the murderous nature!

Re:I am a sexy vixen!!! (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751525)

Hey, I'd like a dog to suck MY BALLS for a change. Sometimes I just feel used by the canine community here in San Jacinto for their own perverted needs. I'm just so unappreciated. I bet if I just stopped coming to the alley and servicing them all day they would miss me. It just really get's me down. It's so much of a drag, dude.

AOL 7 IS HERE!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751686)


AOL 7.0 is here and its alot more fun and a whole easier to use! To download the newer edition please click this button!

((Download AOL 7)) []

Hasn't this... (3, Informative)

boa13 (548222) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751399)

been posted [] a few months ago?

Re:Hasn't this... (0)

newerbob (577746) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751498)

It's Deja vu all over again [] !

(Note the informative link!)

Damn (2, Funny)

dalassa (204012) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751400)

"I hope it's not just a bunch or hot air!"

Damn there goes my +5 funny.

Re:Damn (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751502)

Sometimes I bleed. I get sad when I bleed. I would like to make you bleed. I would spit on your skull and than wax you bones.

I predict a correlation... (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751404)

between wireless connectivity and UFO sightings.

Re:I predict a correlation... (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751492)

scab rabba dooba doo. sentinel. hoo joo leander ziss. continental shelf. ka la granger kerang. marconi invented the wireless. ishalian krillian piss pot bleeds reds. piss slit groove. Thank you, I'm in town until tomorrow. shit cupcake butt fuck jabber wang Freddie Mercury.

Too bad... (1)

dokutake (587467) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751405)

At least the name 'Airtouch' would make sense now. What the hell is a Verizon?

Re:Too bad... (2)

wadetemp (217315) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751429)

It's a horizon, but it's vertical... like when you're flying in a rocket and you look out the window. OK, I just made that up.

Re:Too bad... (1)

Verizon Guy (585358) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751619)

You know, at first glance, you'd think I'd know the answer to that, but, sorry, I don't.

Re:Too bad... (1)

puto (533470) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751665)

When I worked at Verio I asked what the name meant. I was actually referred to a guy in the company who has the job title as "Verio Evangelist"(is the truth) his job was to go around making us feel good about the company. Though he didnt know a server from his elbow.

Anyway, he told me that the name really didn't mean anything but I should tell customers that Verio was an empty vessel that could be 'filled' with anything the customer chose.

What a crock of corporate bullshit.

So much with the whats in a name. Shakespeare was allowed poetic license. Corporate flunkies not...


Re:Too bad... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751745)

The phone number is dialed but the equipment issues no ring... customer dialing himself on another line picks up the phone and establishes the connection.

Disgruntled customer then dials Customer Support.

Verizon: How may I provide you with outstanding service?

Customer: You can't. It's impossible. My number is 111-222-3333 and would you please tell the flea bitten fuse changer to check mine? My ring signal is not present YET AGAIN.

Possible MIB2 Scene... (5, Funny)

$carab (464226) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751406)

But Space Data says its plan to create America's first floating wireless network -- by putting disposable transmitters on government weather balloons.

Hick Farmer: "I just saw an UFO! It went over yonder trees!"
[Bright Flash]
Agent K: That was not a UFO you was a Government Weather Balloon designed to provide you with low cost, speedy, nationwide wireless access.

Re:Possible MIB2 Scene... (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751545)

If only erica would finally listen to reason. She would understand that she doesn't need to do that anymore. It's dirty, it's beneath her and every time she does it, it takes part of her soul that she can't get back. I got her a good job at the laundromaut. Two weeks is all it took and she left and fell back to her evil ways. I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what else to do. I've spent so much time crying, I don't think I could possibly have many tears left. How could you do this to her? HOW COULD YOU! It makes me angry when I think of how you lied to us and we believed it. We all went with what you said like sheep to the slaughterhouse. I have wept for your soul and her's with no time for weeping for my own. There only so much one man can do but I believe I have the strength to do one last thing and that is too bring you to justice, sir.

Re:Possible MIB2 Scene... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751711)

For more info on MIB2 look here. []


on by (572414) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751408)

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Sexual Asspussy (453406) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751431)

We've gone out for dinner on a weeknight... a nice restaurant, soft candles, music in the background and such. There aren't too many people there with us and we have a corner table to ourselves. You're looking lovely in one of your short skirts and a nice blouse, and you know it - you've been teasing me all night and it's driving me crazy - leaning forward to let me see your beautiful tits down your top, or spreading your legs enough to show you're freshly shaven and not wearing any panties. Finally I can't take it any more. I reach over, grab your head and pull you to my face; kissing you deeply before you can protest, our tongues meeting and twisting between the two mouths. At the same time one of my hands reaches up to tease and massage those wonderful breasts, feeling the nipples harden beneath my palm. You moan a bit and then gasp as you feel my hand move down and start sliding up your legs, lifting the skirt as the cool air reaches your crotch... protesting that someone might see, but I tell you to's time to pay for your teasing.

I lift it up higher, pushing your legs apart as the fabric rides up to your hips... a few of the other people are watching by now, but no one says anything. I begin to massage your pussy while still kissing you - mostly just trailing my fingers over the lips, teasing your clit... not putting them in at all, but knowing that you're getting hotter. You're moaning a bit louder now, sitting with your legs splayed and everyone can see you're getting wet. I pull away from your face for a moment to take your clit between two fingers and pinch just a little as I tell you to open your blouse and show everyone your tits. Your breathing is in coming in gasps and pants by now... I pinch a little harder as you hesitate... then you reach up with shaking hands and unbutton your blouse, opening it slowly... rubbing and cupping your heaving breasts as you show them to the appreciative crowd. The nipples are obviously hard, and my mouth moves down to slowly lick across one as you moan again. "Good girl," I say, starting to rub your clit again as I suckle at a nipple for a moment... God, it's hard... and you're DRIPPING wet into my palm! It excites me so when you get like this.

Then I stand up and pull you to your own feet; telling you that you're still going to pay for teasing me. I turn you around and push gently on your shoulders to bend you over the table, lifting your skirt again as everyone gets a better view of your rear and the hot cleft between your legs. You look back over your shoulder, getting a little bit embarrassed again as you wonder what's next. Then I tell you to spread your legs so that your fans can see. You hesitate, then you feel the *SMACK* of my palm on your ass... a quick slap as you feel the heat of my hand. You moan again as you spread your feet slowly, still a little shy. Another *SMACK* as I say "Hurry..."

This time you comply... your legs shoulder width apart, still looking back as you're bent over the table... blushing in a mixture of pleasure and shame, with your ass pointed right at the crowd... two large red handprints still burning on your cheeks... you know that with your legs spread like this they can see your shaved lips, all swollen and dripping, and your own hand that has started working your nipple. I tell you you're not warm enough yet, as I continue to spank you - a slow rhythm, one butt cheek and then the other, letting you catch your breath for just a moment between each slap. You're getting wetter and hotter at the show you know everyone's getting, as well as with the punishment that you love.

Then my swats stop; you start to turn your head to look, but feel my hand pushing you back to the table as you hear me moving something behind you. Then you jump as you feel a slightly cold, thick liquid dripping onto your asscrack... just at the top... you wonder what it could be as you feel it slowly oozing down...lower...lower... finally with a tickle reaching your puckered little rosebud. My fingers touch you there then, massaging gently in circles around the rim of your ass. You gasp again, pushing your ass back to meet my touch as I slowly start to work a finger inside, the oily liquid easing the path into your tight hole. I pump it in and out all the way to my knuckle as as you moan louder... and then I surprise you with a sudden *SMACK* from my other hand...

Again pumping... and *SMACK*.

And again.

Loving the way your body jumps with each one, the way your ass clenches at my finger, and the way you look bent over like this as I prepare you. I have two fingers in you now - as deep as they will go as I twist and probe... still spanking you slowly with the other hand as I tell you this is what happens to naughty teases. Your butt cheeks are on fire, but your moans and gasps only get louder - and your pussy is running down your thighs it's so wet and hot.

Then you hear the sound you've been waiting for as I unzip my fly right behind you. I pull my fingers from you, seeing your now-lubed hole slowly tighten again... then immediately line up the head of my cock and start pushing slowly forward... you moan in that slight pain this time as you try to adjust to the size... the head of my dick finally popping inside you as you cry out... I pause for a moment to let you adjust... and to revel in the exquisite tightness... and then I start to push deeper... slowly but firmly... feeling you stretch wide... a low moaning cry/wail of pain and pleasure the whole time as my cock fills your ass. God what an incredible feeling! Finally I'm buried to the balls as I rest for a moment, enjoying the sheath around my hardness as you look at all the people watching me sodomize you.

Then, I start to fuck you - no more gentleness, but long, hard strokes filling you deep inside. One of my hands pressing your shoulder blades holding you down, the other slapping your ass again... switching sides every few strokes to *SMACK* you hard. You can feel my balls slap your pussy and clit as I bury myself each time, and I can feel the heat from your crotch upon mine. The people left in the room have all moved a bit closer, strangely silent as they observe our passion. I'm talking in your ear the whole time, asking if my girl likes her assfucking; if she likes being punished for teasing. The yes's of your response lost in your moans, the sounds of you begging me to fuck you harder and deeper.

I'm moving faster now, the oil making it easier to use your tightest hole. You reach one hand down to rub your clit in time with my thrusts as your own pleasure rises, loving the way I drive you into the table with a grunt each time I bury myself, deeper than you thought anyone could go. Moving faster as our breathing both gets heavier, the pants and cries indistinguishable from each other. Until finally... I cry out... shoving all the way in as my cock erupts inside you... hot sticky jets of cum shooting out... filling your bowels in that unique way... your own fingers pinching your clit as you cry out and shake in orgasm under me. Holding myself deep as we spasm together. Then taking a last few hard jabs with my still-embedded prick as I look down to see your hole, red and raw around me with my sperm glistening as it oozes out. Then pulling myself from you, still holding you down as I wipe myself clean and put my cock back inside my pants. Only then pulling you to your own feet to lead your still-dazed body out the restaurant past everyone as you feel my sticky cum slowly oozing from your burning hole...


on by (572414) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751440)

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Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751713)

look here [] ! My they rest in peace in the post .net era.

re: baloons? (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751410)

i heard recently about a ultra-high-altitude remote control solar plane that's essentially one big wing- one of the uses being broadband/wireless internet access- which sounds to me to be a more viable solution than baloons that drift with wind currents.

Re: baloons? (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751465)

Yeah, I heard about these! I was gonna build one but I got high and killed my dog and then had sex with corpse! Woo! I'll tell was that a weird feeling when I woke up the next morning!

Is this really all that feasible? (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751418)

Factor in losing all that equipment and have to buy more just for 24 hours of coverage sounds like a pain when most of the areas that probaly need coverage already are.

Hover at 100,000 feet? (4, Interesting)

tarth (445054) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751422)

Is that really close enough to provide a decent signal? And more importantly (too me, anyway) is there anyway this could be rigged up to provide wireless internet access, 802.11b or otherwise?

The article also says that 70 balloons are released every two days. I have wonder if 70 balloons is really going to cover all of America like they hope it will.

Re:Hover at 100,000 feet? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751435)

Each of the weather balloons could provide service to an area of about 100,000 square miles. The resulting overlap in coverage between balloons would enable ubiquitous wireless service throughout the country, Knoblach said.

Re:Hover at 100,000 feet? (2)

scoove (71173) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751436)

And more importantly (too me, anyway) is there anyway this could be rigged up to provide wireless internet access, 802.11b or otherwise?

There's a reason we call it "fixed wireless" - making it mobile at 50,000 feet would require omni antennas with *much* greater transmitting power than even contemplated today.


Re:Hover at 100,000 feet? (1)

wadetemp (217315) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751442)

And more importantly (too me, anyway) is there anyway this could be rigged up to provide wireless internet access, 802.11b or otherwise?

Yeah dude. On launching day, take your laptop with a wireless card, and hide behind a bush near the launch site. Just about when they are ready to let the balloon go, run out of the bushes with a "Whooo hooooooooallyourballoonarebelongtoussssss!" and grab onto the bottom of the balloon. It will go up and they will probably shoot at you with M16s but chances are they will not be expecting this and they will miss. Then, when you are high enough up there, turn on the laptop and with any luck you'll drift over San Franciso and you can get some sweet wi-fi action from a defunct dot com with its wireless network still running.

Oh wait, you meant how can this help you get wireless access while you're still on the ground. Well... yeah.

Re:Hover at 100,000 feet? (-1)

foodb4nk (563115) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751493)

Ballons every 2.5miles using omni-directional transmitting signals wow the sky would look wierd. Think that would look nice from a satelite snapshot??

Debris (5, Interesting)

scoove (71173) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751423)

Every time I read one of these pie in the sky (or balloon in this case) stories, I can't believe the reporter didn't ask what I'd think would be the basic question: What is all this junk going to end up?

We've had environmentalist complaints about PCs and all the toxic components they possess. Now some not-yet-defunct VC is pushing disposal cell sites and nobody's curious? What about when a 747 sucks one of these floating cell sites into an engine? And they complain about use of personal electronics on the plane...

Heck, in high school we were told we couldn't launch balloon projects anymore (you know, where you'd put a note on it and ask the finder to call you and let you know where it ended up at) because the environmentalists said some sea critters mistook the deflated balloons for fish, ate them and choked to death.

So where's the uproar from the ELF/ALF folks?


Re:Debris (1)

Raven1 (575086) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751432)

You've missed that these baloons are being sent up anyway. Why not get more out of the payload?

Re:Debris (2)

wadetemp (217315) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751477)

Heck, in high school we were told we couldn't launch balloon projects anymore (you know, where you'd put a note on it and ask the finder to call you and let you know where it ended up at) because the environmentalists said some sea critters mistook the deflated balloons for fish, ate them and choked to death.

I once mistook one of your ballons for fish, ate it, and *nearly* choked to death. Either that, or I was eating some food at Applebee's.

Re:Debris (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751667)

Hm. Did you get diarrhea afterward? If so, it must have been Applebee's. If not, it was probably just a baloon.

That's how i normally tell the difference, anyway.


Where do you think they usualy go? (2)

autopr0n (534291) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751760)

We are talking about just a few dozon baloons. It dosn't matter where they end up.

Great Idea (1)

brad3378 (155304) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751433)

... because now when the Superbowl or World Series is in town, Telephone companies can put these things up to help maintain reasonable wireless service. Maybe these could have even helped avoid the cell phone blockouts in NYC on 9/11

Ha Ha! (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751434)

Gives a new meaning to that all too popular catch "you really let the air out of my balloon." when someone can't connect a cellphone call! Ha Ha! mod this up fockers! +1 Assbait

Garbage (2)

Mattygfunk (517948) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751439)

About half of that would go toward equipment: $300 worth for each of the 50,000 or so balloons that would be launched over the course of a year.

I hope that some of the $300 accounts for a littering fine.

Wireless balloons? (4, Funny)

Flakeloaf (321975) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751443)

As opposed to all of those *wired* balloons floating around out there, entangling birds and electrocuting poor innocent workers during lightning storms.

Re:Wireless balloons? (2)

wadetemp (217315) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751449)

It's a buzzword. Everything without a wire is by virtue "wireless," and thus cool and can cost at least $10 more. I have a wireless toaster, in fact. I just look at it and indulge in my hipness on days I don't want to make toast.

Sad news for PostNuke... (-1)

on by (572414) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751447)

Greg Allan a.k.a. Adam_Baum, the lead core developer and one of the four
founding members of the PostNuke CMS Development Project passed away from
injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident. The accident occurred June 16,
2002 near his home in Meaford, Ontario in Canada.

Greg Allan was a humble and personable man who always downplayed his
considerable skills. He was a self-taught coder who contributed to every
aspect of development from cleaning up other people's code to writing new and innovative software.

Greg was an invaluable asset to the PostNuke development team, and a
dear and
trusted friend and co-worker to people on every continent. Through this
year of PostNuke's existence, Greg's personable and giving nature has
been a
guiding light and inspiration to many people and projects that have
shaped the
development landscape and social personality of the PostNuke project.

Surviving Greg are his parents, Bob and Leone Allan, his brother Brian,
girlfriend Kim along with her two children Kristin and Kassandra, his
Chevy, and trusted friends Dean and Natasha.

In memory of Greg and out of respect for all those mourning his
passing, all
PostNuke development and official support activity has been suspended
for one
week. We urge all those using PostNuke to post a copy of this article
on each
of your PostNuke-Powered sites to commemorate the memory and
of Adam_Baum. Please refer your condolences and comments to the
article on

Re:Sad news for PostNuke... (-1, Offtopic)

GPL Troll (586731) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751554)

He lived in Canada. Who gives a shit?

ZDNet had an article about this just the other day (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751448)

Yeah, ironically enough I was just over at ZDNet website the other day and they had an article on this very subject..

Here is the link []

Re:ZDNet had an article about this just the other (-1)

on by (572414) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751466)

Hey! Go find your own redirector! That one's mine!

Re:ZDNet had an article about this just the other (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751518)

Actually, it's ZDNets, you incompetent-linux-using-cocksmoker.

A story about Sadie (-1)

Angela Lansbury (568190) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751451)

This was the turn of the century. Location, Ellis Island, New York. Sadie had come from the old country seeking a husband and a fortune. She had used her only talents, her mouth, hand (weaving accident, don't ask) and tight ass to pay for the fair. Now some fascist with a pencil thin mustache was telling her she would have to go back, she had trachoma. Sadie begged and pleaded and offered herself to fascist. It was to no avail, he was a queer as a texan. Yep, texan queers, so queer vaginas, breasts and women are totally blocked from there concious mind. Oh, fuck this is boring.

This post made via cell phone (2, Funny)

Procrasturbator (585082) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751455)

-eption re-ly -n't that impor-t. -mean, who -ation. An- -o needs that so-t of pre-ure -nyway? -ad idea a- -e way.

Re:This post made via cell phone (2)

wadetemp (217315) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751462)

That is more work than I usually put into it. I usually just go with a "Y" or a "N", or I call the person in question. I haven't found a AI word sensing technology yet that can beat talking to someone... in fact, that is why I got a phone and not a pager.

My experience... (1)

URoRRuRRR (57117) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751463)

My experience with one of these "Wheather Ballons" was that the balloon fell to the ground and aliens scaned my network via their wifi connection. They then probed some of my folders, often reaching a level of 12 folders deep. This was considered research, and they thanked me for my cooperation.

Of course, everyone I tell doesn't believe me.

Re:My experience... (1, Offtopic)

wadetemp (217315) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751523)

I believe you. You might want to try defragging, it often makes recursing your folders quicker and less painful for your file system.

Re:My experience... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751562)

They left earth peacefully when they found the pr0n they were looking for.....

Better alternatives (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751478)

Clearly using free-floating weather balloons has a number of limitations and disadvantages.

Now we know that NASA has great plans for its solar-powered airplane -- including acting as a semi-permanent flying repeater-station, but I wonder if smaller, cheaper options might not be available.

For example... what about a much smaller (say 20-30 foot span) autonomous craft designed to soar thermals during the day (while charging its batteries and gaining as much altitude as it can) -- then revert to battery power and/or gradually descend during the hours of darkness.

If the energy required to keep these craft airborn in the longer nights of winter was greater than that availble to be stored during the day then they could carry a fuel-load to power a high-efficiency internal combustion engine (probably a very small diesel engine). Every week or so the craft would have to land for refueling and maintenance -- but that's not a big deal.

Just like the US military's Predator RPV, they could be programmed to land on a runway set aside specially for the purpose.

The cost of a smaller craft, particularly one that wasn't totally reliant on solar-cells, would likely be much less than NASA's efforts -- thus allowing more of them to be built for a given budget.

By using more craft, they could cruise at a much lower altititude than either the weather balloon or the NASA craft.

Using modern composites, low cost GPS, and other "affordable" technologies, such a craft could likely be built for less than US$10K.

Assuming a 50% duty cycle, a fleet of 10 craft could cover a huge area at a much lower cost than towers, and with the ability to dynamically vary the coverage area if required -- simply by repositioning the craft.

Re:Better alternatives (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751511)

Hi troll, how are u? I am good. R U fine? I M fine. It is a good day outside 2day.

Re:Better alternatives (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751668)

I am very well thank you. It's the middle of the night where I am. How are you?

wait wouldn't it... (2, Interesting)

neo8750 (566137) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751482)

would the ballons not get blown around. Thus makeing wireless coverage in areas with lots of wind impossible or is this the whole idea?

Re:wait wouldn't it... (2)

wadetemp (217315) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751501)

No, because SUV-driving-cell-phone-talking people drive erratically enough and fast enough anyway that they could probably keep within range of one... and in true "Undercover Brother" style, they wouldn't spill thier drink either, although the drink would be a 48oz Starbucks and not orange cola.

Practical Concerns (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751485)

The article states that the balloons were launched day in, day out. What about the poor weather days where the wind is gusty and fast? Does the cell coverage on those days get lost?
Over the summer (in the southern hemisphere), I worked to help launch ozone measuring balloons, (same idea, more equipment), and we launched them only in fairly calm conditions. A balloon full of hydrogen is a fairly scary prospect when it's getting blown around. Does this also mean a commercial company will be putting extra pressure on the NWS to launch in potentially unsafe conditions? Scary thought!

How generous of them (1)

nohup (26783) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751495)

"Since the chance of finding a balloon once it falls back to earth is remote, the company isn't counting on getting any equipment back once it is launched."

This is just great! I was wondering how I was going to get the equipment for my own wireless network!

In Mourning of Ann Landers' Death (-1, Offtopic)

GPL Troll (586731) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751513)

Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I live in military housing. His supervisor recently moved in across the street. The wife has decided I am her new best friend. "Eleanor" drops in to visit five times a day. Since she knows I don't smoke, she puts her cigarette butts out on my lawn. It doesn't help. Every piece of furniture in my living room smells of smoke. When my husband and I sit down to eat, Eleanor comes over and sits with us until we are finished. If she sees me get into my car, she grabs her purse and jumps in next to me. She doesn't care where I'm going. She wants to come, too. Last week was the last straw. She told her son I would pick him up from work because she knew I'd be going that way. Eleanor is a major gossip and tells me things I should not know about other military personnel. She is loud, rude and vulgar. I cannot avoid her, and I cannot tell her off because she is the wife of my husband's boss. I am trying to keep the peace until we are permitted to move, but I don't know how long I can keep my cool. Advise me, please. -- Mouth Shut in Colorado Dear Colorado: Lock your door so Eleanor cannot drop in during dinner. If she rings the bell, say, "So sorry, but we're eating now. I'll call you when we are finished." Then close the door immediately. Put boxes and packages in your car so she has nowhere to sit. If she asks you to pick up her son, tell her, "Sorry, but I have a doctor's appointment." Be friendly and smile, but don't allow her to take advantage of you. Dear Ann Landers: Eight months ago, I secretly married "Tony." We have been living together for two years. His mother lives with us. He does not want his mother to know we are married. (He still calls her "Mommy.") Tony is mildly disabled from a car accident, and his mother is his primary caregiver. She is a wonderful woman, but whenever the subject of marriage comes up, she cries and asks what will happen to her. Tony says we shouldn't say anything about marriage until SHE is "ready." I don't think she will ever be ready. I wouldn't mind if she lived nearby. In fact, I'd be willing to rent the apartment next door. But I think it's time my marriage was out in the open. Tony says I am being selfish. Am I? -- Patsy in Pennsylvania Dear Patsy: You are not being selfish. Tony is a mama's boy. Tell him he has one week to let Mommy know you are married. After that, YOU will tell her. I wish you luck. You're going to need it. Dear Ann Landers: I have been planning a family vacation with some friends, the "Smiths." We are taking a cruise together at the end of August. I made the mistake of mentioning the cruise to another friend, and she called yesterday to say she had booked the same cruise for her family. I don't want to take a vacation with both of these families. They do not know each other, and I don't think they will get along. It will be awkward for us to split our time between them, and I am sure it will ruin my entire vacation. Is there any way to ask one of them to back out of the cruise? -- Don't Want to Hurt Feelings in Dallas Dear Dallas: No. Your friends might get along fine, and if they don't, there are other things to do on a cruise. You are under no obligation to entertain them. Since your plans are to travel with the Smiths, concentrate on them, and try to have a good time. Gem of the Day: Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid. Is alcohol ruining your life or the life of a loved one? "Alcoholism: How to Recognize It, How to Deal With It, How to Conquer It" can turn things around. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Alcohol, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, Ill. 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $4.55.) To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at ANN LANDERS (R) COPYRIGHT 2002 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.

Re:In Mourning of Ann Landers' Death (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751530)

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Actor Jim Varney, the voice of Slinky Dog in the "Toy Story" movies and the bumbling handyman Ernest in TV ads and a popular series of slapstick films, died Thursday of cancer at age 50, friends said.

Varney, who lost two-thirds of his right lung to cancer in September 1998, died before dawn at his home in Whitehouse, Tenn., outside Nashville, his spokesman and former wife, Jane Varney said.

"He passed away very peacefully," she said. "It all happened rather quickly." His death came just months after he reprised his voice role as Slinky Dog in a sequel to the 1995 computer-animated Disney hit "Toy Story."

A native of Lexington, Kentucky, Varney is best known for his role as Ernest P. Worrell, the grinning, tool-belted bumbler he has portrayed in a host of television commercials. His character always appeared opposite an off-camera, silent neighbor, whose attention he got with the line "Hey Vern!" before launching into a hard-sell.

His Ernest persona has been the star of a series of nine slapstick comedy films dating back to the '80s, including "Ernest Goes to Camp," Ernest Saves Christmas," "Ernest Goes to Jail," "Ernest Rides Again," "Ernest Goes to Africa" and "Ernest in the Army."

The Ernest character originally was created to help promote a newly opened amusement park in Bowling Green, Ky., his longtime attorney and friend, William "Hoot" Gibson, said.

His battle with cancer was first revealed publicly in November after questions were raised about his loss of hair when he was seen at public appearances in connection with "Toy Story 2."

Following his 1998 lung surgery, he suffered a bout of pneumonia, then underwent radiation treatments after cancer was detected in his brain in January 1999, Ms. Varney said. She said cancer also was believed to have spread to his spine. Friends said he had been a heavy smoker.

Still, he continued working, and "it's really been in the last three months that he was laid up, not able to get around," she said.

Varney will return posthumously to the big-screen in two upcoming films, according to his friend, Gibson.

He co-stars with Oscar-winner Billy Bob Thornton in the comedic love story "Daddy and Them," scheduled for release by Miramax Films later this year. In the film, written and directed by Thornton, Varney plays a character named Uncle Hazel, whose relatives are trying to rescue him from prison.

He also will supply the voice of a cook named Cookie in the upcoming Disney Animated Feature "Atlantis," due for release next year.

haha (1)

hajmola (82709) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751534)

i would love to rate the submission as 'funny' - maybe we should start rating submissions.

Re:haha (1)

BitHive (578094) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751546)

But then none of the /. editors would be able to post stories, because their karma would hit rock bottom in a week!

Come to think of it, you may be on to something. . .

similar wacky idea (2, Interesting)

DarkSkiesAhead (562955) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751536)

A friend of mine who does some work for NASA was describing another wacky concept he heard about to expand wireless coverage. The idea is that enough commercial planes are in the air at any moment, and are spaced evenly enough, to provide coverage for much of the country. Certainly major cities would be well covered. And the nice thing is that busy travel times coincide with peak calling hours.

Wether Baloons? (1)

Chacham (981) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751538)

So, how did you get that antenna up there?

It's a .... umm... a balloon, yeah, a weather baloon.

(Hey, it worked once before.)

fregrt rthjde hrthrthr thrthethehetj rtjyukuiuil (-1)

syc (584762) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751542)

qierb tiowvtpirtp iupiyt rtpiyu iugygy piuydgprtgbpig piuyagnvpiu gpiu eypig uyaerpigy aerp iugt
iugp iuegiu yrepgypier gpiueyapu
igya repigyupai ergpiuegp iuaydpo iygv epiou
typre yvpyvgpiu yrtpivquyre
piuv rthsfp]husfohshu'pshp
osuh\po us\phsf]posif hposf]hosf]hi
=0r8 th=w0r8h= shshshu0-wrtuh-0wugh
wrjw kwij 4iw65iu65 i256i2652iiiii iiiiiie6iw

Clearly ... (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751547)

...using free-floating weather balloons has a number of limitations and disadvantages.

Now we know that NASA has great plans for its solar-powered airplane -- including acting as a semi-permanent flying repeater-station, but I wonder if smaller, cheaper options might not be available.

For example... what about a much smaller (say 20-30 foot span) autonomous craft designed to soar thermals during the day (while charging its batteries and gaining as much altitude as it can) -- then revert to battery power and/or gradually descend during the hours of darkness.

If the energy required to keep these craft airborn in the longer nights of winter was greater than that availble to be stored during the day then they could carry a fuel-load to power a high-efficiency internal combustion engine (probably a very small diesel engine). Every week or so the craft would have to land for refueling and maintenance -- but that's not a big deal.

Just like the US military's Predator RPV, they could be programmed to land on a runway set aside specially for the purpose.

The cost of a smaller craft, particularly one that wasn't totally reliant on solar-cells, would likely be much less than NASA's efforts -- thus allowing more of them to be built for a given budget.

By using more craft, they could cruise at a much lower altititude than either the weather balloon or the NASA craft.

Using modern composites, low cost GPS, and other "affordable" technologies, such a craft could likely be built for less than US$10K.

Assuming a 50% duty cycle, a fleet of 10 craft could cover a huge area at a much lower cost than towers, and with the ability to dynamically vary the coverage area if required -- simply by repositioning the craft.

Nothing new... (1)

Valen0 (325388) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751580)

The concept of putting transmitters in the sky isn't new. Iridium [] has been doing worldwide telephone coverage by using satellites for years. The whole weather balloon receiver thing, while it's an interesting concept, sounds like it would be error prone (the coverage would be inconsistant due to weather balloons going up or down) and costly (To quote the article: "The company estimates its annual operating expenses at $35 million per year. About half of that would go toward equipment: $300 worth for each of the 50,000 or so balloons that would be launched over the course of a year.").

Hemos (1)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751583)

You do not have a future as a comedian. Don't quit your day job.

Er, wait...

Re:Hemos (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751639)

as jeffk would say
AHHAHAH ROOOFLELELFLELE!!!!!!11111 (Internet Lingo)

Re:Hemos (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751660)

See that bit that says "mansa writes" at the beginning, and how the rest of the article there is all in "quotes" and italics? Well, gosh, newbie, do ya think there might be any indication there that maybe HEMOS DIDN'T FUCKING WRITE THAT!!

The question is... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751601)

What is really cheaper?
Sending up weather balloons to cover large rural areas rather than putting up towers?

To answer this question, we have to look deeply into the psychie of the average rural-area yokel. Does he prefer shooting up towers with buckshot or shooting down balloons with a high-caliber rifle. Which is more economic for the redneck? Will ammunition sales at WalMart effect this decision.

Is it cheaper for the phone companies to patch holes in balloons or replate a tower.

I didn't see any mention of this in their story. One can only hope that they took this into account.

Hot Air? (2, Informative)

Mindflayer75 (566412) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751602)

I hope it's not just a bunch of hot air!

Most weather balloons actually use Helium. The volume of He in the balloon expands with increased altitude which results in cooling of the gas... No "hot air" in this one as temperatures can drop to minus 125 degrees Celsius in polar mesospheric clouds that form over the summertime polar caps. However, most WX balloons don't get much higher than the stratosphere.

Yes, I realise it was pun... just thought I throw in some factoids. :-)

Whaaa? (2)

JanusFury (452699) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751641)

Where's the photos of Britney Spears?

OH, THAT kind of balloons. Sorry, my mistake.

This has been posted four months ago (2)

boa13 (548222) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751645) [] on Slashdot.

Note: I'm posting this comment again so that the user that moderated my previous comment as "Redundant" will be right in a time-reversed parallel universe. ;)

Forget playing Quake (2, Interesting)

Reality Master 101 (179095) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751651)

100,000 feet / 186,000 ft/sec = 0.53 * 2 = 1.075 second round trip. Quake would definitely suck. It would be annoying to have an extra second built into every link you click on, but that would probably be livable.

Re:Forget playing Quake (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751661)

Errr..the speed of light is 186,000 miles/sec

Re:Forget playing Quake (4, Informative)

mduell (72367) | more than 12 years ago | (#3751697)

Except the speed of light is 186,000sm/sec.. so it'd be 1/5280th of that figure, or 0.000203598485sec or .2msec or 200usec...

Re:Forget playing Quake (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751751)

Wrong Again! The speed of light is 186000 miles/hr or 3.00*10^8 m/s.

Sure sure, (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 12 years ago | (#3751678)

"Weather baloons" will provide us with some kind of unheard wierd and wonderful service.

Someday man will be able to travel by air!

Soon you will be able to get a machine that will not only be a typewriter but able to calculate as well.

When will the madness end? Do you really believe everything you hear? These are the workings of the devil.
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